Good evening, and welcome to The Great Indian Kapil Show!
-Kapil! Kapil! Kapil! -Thank you so much!
-Kapil! Kapil! Kapil! -Thank you!
Archana ji, people say money talks, right?
Yes, they do.
People really do say that, and it's true.
There's an upcoming movie called Gandhi Talks.
-Yes. -In this movie,
no one says a word. Only money speaks.
So, let's welcome the cast of the film,
along with its music director.
Please welcome Mr. Vijay Sethupathi,
Aditi Rao Hydari, Mr. Siddharth Jadhav,
and the legendary music director, Mr. A. R. Rahman!
Sir!
Vijay sir!
Welcome, Aditi!
Siddhu, my love!
A warm welcome to all four of you.
It's great to have you here.
Let's start with the man known for his way with words.
How are you, Rahman sahab?
You weren't supposed to use that now, sir.
This…
-How was your New Year's evening, sir? -Oh, English!
-The answer-- -Rahman sir, I have one question.
A break already? You just got here!
We have been listening to Rahman sahab's music for years.
-He's truly extraordinary. -Yes.
Will we get to hear a few words from you today?
This movie doesn't have any dialogue, right? So, I was…
trying my best not to speak. Please forgive me.
As everyone knows, Rahman sir is a man of few words.
And on top of that, he's here today for a silent film.
Sir, let me tell you something. Talking keeps our business running.
Let me just…
Rahman sahab, this is a CD of Lata ji's songs.
Please touch it.
Promise me that for every one-line question I ask,
you will reply with a full sentence.
Because when you ask Rahman sahab a four-line question,
he replies with one word. "Yeah."
"Of course." "No."
"Very good."
I mean…
Rahman sahab, let me ask you this. God forbid you ever fall sick
and visit a doctor. If the doctor says, "Open your mouth,"
do you open it, or ask him, "Give me the scale" instead?
Look, everyone's laughing.
-Even when he does speak… -"Give me the scale."
it's always in English.
Sidhu paaji, let's hear a few lines from you.
To praise you properly I would need a whole book, page by page
-Wow! -Wow!
No one in the world Has talent like yours in this age
-Wow! -Wow!
That's why I fear
Trump might ask India To gift you on a stage
Hear that?
-Marvelous! -Marvelous!
-Too good.
-Vijay sir, do you watch cricket? -No.
-But you know Sidhu sir? -Yes, I know Sidhu sir.
Where did you see him then?
-Cricket. -Cricket?
Okay, okay. Please, sir, take your seat.
Aditi, you got married.
Why? I mean, wow.
-Congratulations! -"Why?"
Thank you.
Guys, Vijay sir is everywhere.
In Tamil films. In Hindi films. On OTT. On television.
And now, at last, you've reached your final destination,
The Great Indian Kapil Show.
So, sir, do you now believe that hard work pays off?
Sometimes not in a good way.
Look where I ended up.
I think I should avoid English today,
because I'm not very good at it, and I mess up sometimes.
My English is in the last stage, sir.
Before we move ahead tonight…
We have been fortunate to have Rahman sir with us before.
We have met Aditi many times.
Siddhu is a very old friend of mine.
Sir, I want to ask you one thing. Do you know what we do here?
No, I don't…
I don't know.
Sir, we are still trying to figure out what it is we actually do!
Every time, we just sit here.
Archana ji brings her own sofa from home.
Sidhu ji brings his, and I bring mine.
We just sit and talk.
-That's how life has been going so far. -Sounds good.
-And make a lot of money. -Yes, a lot of money.
God has been kind.
-Everyone deserves a life like that. -Absolutely.
Aditi, winter is here.
After days of dense fog,
when the first warm ray of sunlight
finally touches you, it brings energy and a sparkle.
-You have that very same sparkle. -Wow!
You look lovely, as always.
-Thank you. -Sidhu paaji was just telling me,
"I see Aditi Rao Hydari on Instagram every day."
"The day I don't, I feel a Vitamin D deficiency."
Siddharth, do you have scenes with Aditi in the film,
or do you need Vitamin D supplements?
I have plenty of scenes with Vitamin S and Vitamin A.
-Okay. -Vitamin…
-Vijay Sethupathi sir -Oh, wow.
-and Vitamin Arvind Swamy sir. -Wow.
Most of my scenes are with them.
Working with all of them made sure I was never short on Vitamin D.
-Wow. -And the--
And the real reason for that is Vitamin K.
-What is Vitamin K? -What is it?
Our director, Kishor Belekar sir…
-Oh, wow. -He made all of this possible.
Welcome to the show, sir.
Sir, I would like to ask you something.
A long time ago, I watched a film called Pushpak.
-Yes. -A cult classic.
-What a beautiful film! Kamal Haasan, yes. -Starring Kamal Haasan sahab.
Sir, how did you come up with the idea
of writing a film without dialogue?
And how challenging was it?
I'm genuinely very eager to watch it.
Yes, it was difficult.
I started writing in the year 2000.
Why so late? Did you not know how to write before that?
No, basically…
Oh, got it!
-You began writing the film! -Yes.
So, actually,
when I started writing, I think,
after finishing the first fifteen to twenty minutes,
I realized it was working without dialogue.
Because I act out the scenes as I write.
-Right. -I felt adding dialogue
was unnecessary because everything was already clear.
But after you switch off a device,
you still need to write a two-hour story
that the audience can understand.
As I continued writing, I realized that
power and money create a lot of noise.
However, honest people without money
have no voice.
That's how these characters came to life.
And I said, okay, violence and power
-make noise… -Noise.
while honesty and sincere people
don't have a voice.
-That's why the film has no dialogue. -Wow.
-Incredible. Very good. -That's why
I continued writing it
as a silent film.
And to make this film a reality,
all of these people played a part.
Had it not been for them-- These are big personalities.
This film wouldn't have been possible without them.
First of all, a big salute to you.
Everyone here knows how much dialogue helps.
For example, if I say the dialogue, "You dog, I'll bleed you dry!"
My words clearly tell the listener that this man is angry and capable of violence.
Now, imagine conveying the same thing in a silent film.
Siddhu, how would you do it?
Like this.
How?
Okay, that works for "You dog."
But what about "I'll bleed you dry"?
"You dog, I'll see you later"?
Ma'am has some real power!
She turned that cheetah into a dog!
-What power! -She even split its ear!
-That's her power! -Wow!
Ma'am, we are from Marathi theater.
Mime and silent cinema are two very different things.
-Yes. -For example, Kapil bhai just said,
"You dog, I'll bleed you dry!" In mime, we can show it like this…
That's one option.
Oh, sorry.
-Yes. -I meant to drink it, not give it away!
But to convey the same thing--
Whenever Kishor sir would narrate a scene,
all of us would struggle to figure out
how to pull it off.
Then Kishor sir would do something that helped.
-He would play music. -Okay.
Placeholder music, to suggest the emotion.
For example, there's a scene between Vijay sir and me
that you'll see in the film.
He's sitting across from me on a bus,
and I'm up to something.
He looks at me, and I tell him…
I did this. If I had said, "Don't do it,"
he would've replied, "I will." Those would've been the lines.
-Yes. -But instead, I did this.
And all Vijay sir did was this.
-That interaction alone shows… -Lovely.
the intensity between the characters.
That's how difficult silent films are.
-True. -If a character is crying
and you want to hear his voice, but you cannot,
that moment defines a silent film.
-That's Gandhi Talks. -Wow!
You all know about Vijay sir.
Whatever character he plays, he commits to it completely.
If he plays a cop, he looks like a real cop.
If he plays a villain, he looks like a real villain.
I watched your movie Vikram where you have the tablet,
and it makes you as powerful as a bull.
So, Sidhu sir wanted to know the name of the tablet. Just…
I'm just kidding.
-Come on! -The reason I mention this is
because he immerses himself in every character he plays.
Like in his movie Maharaja.
He played a barber in it, and the director got a shave from him!
He didn't even realize it!
Vijay sir, did you ever go to film school?
-Or did you get any formal training? -No, none really.
But I worked as an accountant for a theater group called Koothu-P-Pattarai
-for one and a half years. -Accountant?
-Yes. -Yes, I think I've heard about that.
So, did you happen to check a film star's account there
and decide you wanted to be one too?
I checked my account, and there was no money in it. So, I wanted to earn some.
-Wow! -Nice!
Wow!
Because I had been middle class for so many years,
I wanted to get my family out of it.
And my friends, my family, my elder brother…
they kept telling me I looked good on camera.
That I looked better on camera than in real life.
So I thought, okay, that might be…
my ticket to this.
How did you land your first break?
I don't know what exactly I can call "my first break,"
but my first film as a lead was in 2010,
which won three National Awards.
-Wow! Wow! -Wow!
-So proud of you, sir. -Thank you.
Rahman sir, when Kishor ji met you the first time
and told you about this film with no dialogue,
were you confused if he was trying to sign you on as a music director
or an actor?
-Because it's a silent movie. -No, I--
If there's no dialogue, it's such a great celebration for music,
because you'll have all the real estate to do music,
but also terrifying because people will be judging.
-Every note will be exposed. -Yeah.
He's the first director who never came to me with anything negative, like,
"I don't like this."
Whatever I give, he takes it.
Whatever I give-- Even if I play "ting," he says, "Yes, very good."
I would like to thank Lata ji,
because I've never seen Rahman sahab talk this much.
Sir, thank you!
You know, most women
follow a diet to stay fit.
But Aditi here has to be the first woman
who always seems so fit,
but also loves desi ghee.
So, do you have this desi ghee with a spoon
or have little homeopathic drops of it?
-A bowl of it! -What are you saying?
But, Aditi, very few people know or understand
that desi ghee by itself doesn't really make you fat.
It is the best.
Yes, it is the best. Desi ghee gets flack for no reason.
-Absolutely. -Well, the whole concept is…
that when you begin your morning with desi ghee,
your body starts consuming fat.
It's what you eat early in the morning.
If you start with turmeric and desi ghee
and have nothing for half an hour or so, your body consumes fat first.
When you have sugar-laden tea first thing in the morning,
your body says, "Give me more!"
"Bring me more parathas, more butter."
India's home remedies and recommendations--
-Yes. -They're the best!
-They are the best. -The best.
You see how foreigners practice our yoga traditions.
I remember once when a friend of mine from America was visiting.
You know, they've got dedicated parks for dogs there.
They have special dog parks.
We were out together
when he noticed a desi Indian dog
crouching and slipping under a park's low railing to get in.
He said, "Your dogs are so flexible."
I said, "You have special foods and whatnot for your dogs there."
"But we feed our dogs the dal we eat."
-Correct! -Exactly!
They have so much turmeric in them that some even intimidate cheetahs!
Correct.
Yes!
You know, Vijay sir-- Well, this is your first film with Siddharth.
-Yes. -My brother is extremely versatile.
-Oh, yes! -He does Marathi, Hindi, and Tamil films.
He adapts to different languages and characters.
He's the ginger of actors.
Crush some into tea.
Mix a little into the sabzi.
Siddhu's been working so much.
Do you have a loan or something to pay off?
Well, I never wanted to be an actor. Thought I'd join the police force.
So I was into football, NCC. But when we had intercollegiate…
one-act plays and competitions, theater gave me the push.
Because when you audition for TV, they only care about your looks.
When I would be in a lineup,
"You stay, you stay, you stay, you…"
"Yes?" "You go."
So, Archana ma'am, honestly,
I'd always be like, "Should I even audition?"
I always talk about Marathi theatre
because it was where people like me--
I mean, who are judged by looks…
Where you're not judged for looks.
Theater said, "Forget looks, just look at the talent this guy has."
That's what it gave us.
-Yes! -But the scene's changed now.
That's what gave us confidence.
Today is a special day for me.
In 2026, I'm now in my 25th year in this career.
-This is my 25th-- -Wow! Congratulations!
Siddhu said he never wanted to be an actor,
but he always had the talent.
Tell us about the time you were a salesman.
You know, sir, for one of those items sold door-to-door.
Tell us about it, Siddhu.
We used to pick up these odd jobs to make ends meet.
And during the holidays, companies would run special schemes.
I had to sell energy drinks.
If I were to approach them and ask them to buy it directly,
they would just shoo me away.
So we had a strategy to sell it.
-They used to give us a health card. -I see.
For example, I'd be at their door and say,
"I'm from Kapil Sharma Health Care Center."
-I see. -"Do you have a cold or cough?"
And most, if not all, have a cold or cough at any time.
It's always there.
-So I'd find one-- -In every home.
Yes. So they'd be like, "Yes," and I'd be like, "Okay."
Then I'd say, "This is an energy drink worth ten rupees."
"Take this, and you'll feel better in two days." And they'd buy it.
-Oh! -I once went to a house,
and there was this really old man.
He opened the door and listened to me.
I said, "I'm from Kapil Sharma Health Care Center."
I did my spiel, he listened.
And for the first time, someone took me inside their house.
He was like, "Come in, sit here."
He said, "I had hernia surgery, I need money."
"Give me some money. I have no money to eat."
I said, "Sir, neither do I. How can I give you money?"
And Kapil bhai,
my little girls, Swara and Ira, live in Dadar.
They watch this show every day.
-They're Siddharth's daughters. -My daughters.
And I didn't tell them that I was coming here.
-Why? -It's a surprise. They love the show.
So, I'm here on the show, Swara, Ira. Love you!
God bless!
Rahman sir, tell me something.
We have been watching you all this time,
ever since you got into this industry.
And you still look the same.
You don't lose or gain an inch.
What do you do for your fitness? What's your general diet, sir?
For the past ten years, I've been avoiding sugar.
And less rice as well.
But no sugar means not even an occasional gulab jamun?
Rahman sir has music in his life. That's the greatest sweetness you can ever get.
Wow!
Can you say a few more lines like that? It feels so nice.
No, really.
She speaks so sweetly, Rahman sir.
If I get such compliments, Rahman sir, I'd follow them all the way home.
I mean, to drop them home. To thank them for the compliment.
No, I need to give her another song. She sang a song for me.
This is being recorded, right?
You did sing with him live once, right?
Yes.
I want to know how that came about.
-You know, I-- -Who was more scared, you or him?
Me! I was scared!
-Surely, he was as well. -Oh my God--
-Sing a few lines for us. -Yes, please!
-I don't remember… -Wow, Aditi! How--
Genuinely, so melodious! Wow!
Except for the one note, but excused.
-Excused. -The one note.
-Superb it was! -It felt so nice.
I was so nervous, my throat dried up.
It's not like the ones sitting there are some virtuosos!
I mean, don't worry about Archana ji.
Rahman sahab would make anyone nervous.
What happened?
Archana ji, alpha, beta, gamma, Govinda is her mama.
Alpha, beta, gamma, Govinda is my mama. Over and out!
It's our last day today, Archana ji.
-Why? -Why? What happened?
Archana ji, we'll miss you so much.
How you'd come to us and say, "I only have a 500-rupee note."
"Please pay my rickshaw fare." No one else does it like you!
Sidhu paaji, we will miss you a lot.
-Why me? You're going to roast me! -No, Sidhu paaji.
Please, no applause today.
-Just stop this somehow! -Stop us.
-Stop us from leaving! Stop us! -Why?
How do I stop this?
Oh, stop it!
Oh my God, A. R. Rahman ji!
Oh my God, Vijay Sethupathi ji!
Oh my God, Aditi!
-Oh my God, Siddharth Jadhav?! -Oh my God, Siddharth Jadhav?!
But what a movie! Sir, you're the director. Hello!
Congratulations.
I heard when I was back there
that you started writing the film in 2000.
Look, sir. That's our director.
Why do you ask for lakhs when he writes for just 2000 rupees?
Sir, it's our last day today. We're leaving.
So, screening is very important.
-Yes, please do it. -May I, Rahman sahab?
Come.
I might just hug you if you do that!
Is this an aarti?
Wait, what are you doing?
He's the God of music! This is how you screen him.
The whole world knows
that like a bow without an arrow,
music is incomplete without A. R. Rahman.
Wow!
Fantastic!
Sir, please sit.
He composed songs that won him two Oscars.
And he only composed.
The day he starts composing more, he will bring all of Hollywood home!
-That's Vijay Sethupathi ji. -Yes, that's him.
-Hi, sir. -Hi.
-How are you? -Good. How are you?
-Well, I have to tell you. -Yes.
You're here for the first time, so I must tell you this.
The way you're looking at me…
I don't look at you that way.
Actually, she's a he.
-Nice, sir. I like your style. -Thank you.
But I think your mustache is melting. It's going downward.
-Looks good. -I've glued it down.
Sir, it's your first time here.
So tell me, what would you like to have?
Hey, what are you doing?
-Oh, no. He acts with his eyes. -Yeah.
So I'm also using my eyes to ask him.
Will you have tea, coffee,
-or… -Hey, stop it!
I meant juice. You didn't notice the straw.
-Oh… -Maybe some juice?
I'll order some for you.
-Nothing for me, thank you. -No?
-You'll have juice, right? -Yes.
Please bring three. We'll also have some.
-Vijay ji. -Yes?
-You're a foodie, right? -Yes, I am.
I've got a special gift for you.
-Can I give it to you? -Sure.
Sir, here it is.
Sir, a new restaurant has recently opened nearby.
-Okay. -So whenever you go there,
take me with you.
-Okay. -I also love to eat food, sir.
-I really like it. -Okay.
But, sir, the generation today is really spoilt.
-How? -They want their food gluten-free,
oil-free, fat-free, sugar-free.
But people like us, like me and sir,
we just want a little free space in our tummies.
Here, eat this.
-Have it. -Have it.
That will shut her up.
She keeps yapping until she gets a samosa.
Once, when she was visiting her aunt,
they didn't serve her any samosa.
So she smothered her uncle in chutney and ate him!
She's a monster.
She's lying, sir. She's lying.
Hi, Aditi ji.
You got married!
-Why are you crying? -I'm crying on his behalf.
-On Siddharth's behalf. -Why?
Because her husband's name is also Siddharth.
-Yes. -So, he wishes he were that Siddharth
and that she were his wife.
Why do you think all that?
My wife is also as beautiful as Aditi Rao Hydari.
-Trupti is wonderful. -Of course!
And every Siddharth ends up with a beautiful girl like Aditi.
My Trupti is beautiful too. Come on, man.
Our wives are beautiful as well, but we still think like that.
Aditi ji, I'm a very big fan of yours.
I saw you in Heeramandi yesterday.
And the day before, I saw your husband in the sabzimandi.
Wait, Sabzimandi is a show?
-No, it's not a show. -No?
The Dadar vegetable market. That's where I saw her husband.
-He was shopping-- -He's in New York right now.
-Were you in New York? -Then maybe it was at a sabzimandi there.
Men do start grocery shopping once they are married.
Vijay ji is the only one who's been doing it since childhood.
-How? -Because he's always been a "pathi."
Vijay Sethu…
-Oh, man! -You see the connection?
Sir, it's an order from Netflix.
Don't leave until the guest understands the joke.
But I got this one.
Oh, man!
-Aditi ji, don't mind her. -Come on.
You're from a royal lineage, and she's from a royally annoyed lineage.
Yes.
Whenever her family finds out she's coming home, they get annoyed.
-Is that so? -Yes, it is.
She's from a royally annoyed lineage as well.
Sometimes her uncle is annoyed with her.
Sometimes her aunt is.
Will you two stop this nonsense?
Come on, get going!
Actually, sir, it's our farewell today.
It would mean a lot to us if you could cut our farewell cake.
What is this? It says "Happy Birthday!"
Actually, this was all a ruse. It's her birthday today.
Yes.
And you know…
she wanted A. R. Rahman to be there on her birthday.
You don't even turn up for a show. Why would we expect you at a birthday?
Happy birthday!
Thank you, sir. We'll leave now.
Actually, we have to catch a smuggler at the airport.
Oh, that's just Emraan Hashmi.
-What are you saying? Emraan Hashmi? -Yes!
Then come on, we can get up close with him!
-Okay. -Come on!
Bye!
Please sit, sir.
Sir, let's play a game.
You'll wear headphones playing loud music.
I'll say a few lines,
you'll have to guess what I'm saying from my lip movements,
and then pass them on to the next person.
-Shall we? -Okay.
Okay, please get them.
She didn't even notice me.
-He says she didn't even notice him. -She directly went to her.
Me? No?
In the market, there will be a jump.
If you have oil, here comes Trump.
The first time--
You say it one more time.
Come on!
In the market…
there will be a jump.
If you have oil, here comes Trump.
-The last one's "Trump's coming." -Yes!
He's jumping his way here.
-Jump. -Jump.
Yes. He's jumping his way here.
-Trump. -Trump.
Trump. Only three words. Only three.
Jump, Trump…
-Once more, once more. -Okay.
-One is "jump." -Jump.
-See. See. -See?
-Trump's here. -Trump's here?
Yes.
Jump.
-Champak? -Champak!
Jump!
-Champak. -Chump? Champ?
-Can I act it out? -Jump.
-I can act it out? -Yes.
-Jump! Jump! Jump! -Jump.
-See. -See.
Trump.
Kump?
Trump.
Stump? Stump?
-Trump. -He's gotten into cricket!
-Enjoy, sir. -Okay. He's here.
-Stump-- Stump's here. -Is here.
-Stump's here? -Yes.
-Stump's here after looking at the jump? -Yes.
-Sir. -Now…
Jump.
-Jump. -Jump.
Jump.
Sees.
Stump.
Stump. Sir, stump.
Stump.
Is here.
Is here. "Aaya."
Is coming.
Is coming!
Okay, time's up!
Okay.
We'll ask Rahman sahab first.
Sir, what did you hear him say?
Trump's here.
-Oh! -Only "Trump's here"?
-Trump's here. -Trump's here with a baby.
Trump's here with a baby.
I heard, "Stump's here after looking at the jump."
-What did you hear? -"Look at the jump, Trump's here."
What did you hear, Vijay sir?
I understood "jump" and "see." And then, "Trump's here."
-That's… -Okay, so the original line was,
"In the market, there will be a jump. If you have oil, here comes Trump."
Stump, baby! You added so much, Siddhu!
-I meant aaya, like a nanny. -Now we'll start with Siddhu.
-You pass it on to Vijay sir, and then… -Yes.
Vijay sir will get it without even looking at me.
-Really? -Yes.
"Go outside…"
He got it!
"Go outside…"
"You'll feel cold."
-"Hold the pajama…" -"Hold the pajama…"
-"with the drawstrings." -"Remove the drawstrings."
Very good, Sid.
Siddhu is amazing!
-Outside. -Yes.
Outside.
Going out. Outside.
-Outside. -Outside.
If you go.
If you go outside…
Cold, like jaada.
-Jaada? -Jaada.
Get hit.
-Get hit. -Got hit.
Yeah.
-If you go outside, you'll get hit. -If you go outside, you'll feel cold.
-Pajama. -Pajama.
Drawstrings.
-Drawstrings. -Drawstrings.
-Slip out. -Slipped out?
If you go out, you'll get hit.
Pajama lost its drawstrings.
-Outside. -Outside?
-If you go. -If you go.
Heavy, jaada. Got hit.
Jaada.
Get hit by a heavy feeling.
-Get cold! -Yes, correct!
Get cold!
-If you go out… -Get hit.
-you will get cold. -Get hit.
-Yes. -Yes.
-Pajama… -Pajama.
Lost its drawstring.
Yes.
Outside.
-Outside. -Outside.
-If you go. -If you look?
Go out.
-Go out. -Yes!
Cold.
-Cold. -Cold.
Jaada.
-Tired? -Cold.
-Yes.
Got hit.
Okay, I give up.
-Got hit. -Got hit.
Hit?
Rahman sahab, what did you hear?
She said…
"Outside, it's very cold."
Yeah!
Rahman sahab got it in English.
What did you hear?
You go out and you get cold.
Pajama lost its drawstring!
-Something like that. -That's what you said, right?
You're correct.
The line was…
-Gosh… -"If you go out, you'll get cold."
"Hold the pajama with the drawstring." It was simple!
But you all did so good. Thank you so much.
-Thank you. Please, sir. -You did good.
This is a good exercise to see how information gets misunderstood.
-Absolutely. -In life. Right?
-Different states, different cultures. -Right.
And the problem with the world is this.
How certain messages get corrupted on the way.
So, brilliant.
-Thank you, sir. -That's why, like in our movie,
everybody should be quiet.
Friends, as you all know, Gandhi Talks is a silent movie.
How many here believe that the less you talk,
the more peaceful it is?
Has your mouth ever gotten you into trouble?
Or has silence saved you, or maybe gotten you into trouble?
You can share your thoughts with us.
Do you want to talk or use the bathroom?
You want to talk. Okay.
My name is Ali Damani. I'm from Long Beach, California.
After an incident that happened to me,
I believe that remaining silent can be quite harmful.
-Harmful? -Yes.
About 25 years ago, I visited a prospect for marriage.
I see.
So when we got off the taxi at the apartment complex,
I saw a girl standing on her balcony. She was very pretty.
Very, very beautiful.
She saw me and smiled at me.
I thought she was the one I was meeting.
I liked her instantly, but when we got to the prospect's house,
there was a twist.
We went to the sixth floor instead of the seventh.
We had the refreshments they offered.
When I saw the girl, I knew she wasn't the one from the balcony.
I mustered the courage to tell my father.
I said, "Dad, I don't like her. I like the girl on the seventh floor."
So, did you go to the seventh floor?
Yes, immediately. I told my father that--
Who's your wife now? The one from the sixth floor or the seventh?
The seventh floor. She's sitting right next to me.
Wow!
That's a very interesting story! May I speak to ma'am?
Sure.
Ma'am, when you stood on the balcony the day he came
with a marriage proposal for another girl…
do you think that was your best day?
Yes, absolutely.
What were you doing out on the balcony?
I just stepped out to catch some air.
And caught a headache instead!
Very true! Very true!
Is there a balcony in your house?
-Two balconies? -We have two balconies.
Does he stand on one and you on the other?
I stand on both balconies.
-Only you stand on both balconies? -Yes.
Your husband must be patrolling downstairs to see if anyone's looking up at you!
That's a really interesting story, sir.
Thank you, ma'am.
Is there anyone else who wants to be on TV?
Yes, ma'am.
-Hello, Kapil sir. Hello, everyone. -Hello.
-Hi. -Hi.
I'm Komal, and I'm from Delhi.
-First of all, sir, I'm a huge fan. -Thank you, ma'am.
Sir, actually, my problem is that I'm very talkative
and also a bit short-tempered.
And my husband is the opposite. He doesn't talk at all.
Most of the time, a husband eventually turns into the opposite of his wife.
I take my frustrations and anger out on him.
He just quietly listens.
So, after some time, I start feeling bad for him,
that I'm talking too much, I should let it be.
So I started keeping calm.
Sir, that threw off my blood pressure, and now it's always low.
So keeping calm lowered your blood pressure?
Because I wouldn't vent out. Every time I see a doctor,
they say, "There's no medicine for low blood pressure."
"Just tell your husband to rile you up."
Namaste, sir. How are you?
Today-- Can he speak?
Of course, I can.
Why fight and argue when you can sort things out with love?
-Why rile her up? -Right.
How could I be angry when I have such a beautiful wife?
Yeah, that's true.
Very good.
Then I'd simply say, "Well, suffer!"
What else can I say? Thank you so much for coming on the show
Komal, please come.
Goibibo presents a splendid trip to Vietnam for you and your family.
Watch The Great Indian Kapil Show together. See the world together.
Thank you so much.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you, thank you.
Yeah, friends! One, two, one, two, one, two!
In the company of Sidhu sahab and Archana ji, I'm Diamond Raja
of Chak Chak Dhoom Orchestra.
The ninth-best orchestra of Jamnapaar, Delhi!
I, Diamond Raja, the proprietor,
salute you all!
Yeah!
-Tamil Nadu's shine is known worldwide -Wow!
Tamil Nadu's shine is known worldwide
Upon seeing a TN 01 car parked out there
I knew someone from Chennai had arrived!
This film rocks! Gandhi Talks! The cast is here.
Hello, sir.
This is Diamond Raja, proprietor.
-Chak Chak Dhoom Orchestra. -The wire has come loose.
Connect your mic, man!
Where do I connect it, Sidhu sahab?
I would've plugged it in, if there was a socket.
It feels great to be here.
Every time I go to Tamil Nadu,
I'm always warmly welcomed. Now it's my turn to welcome you.
-Thank you. -You know, generally,
you're always ahead of everyone.
Today, just for a minute, could you please stand behind that door, sir?
I want to welcome you. Let's hear it for Mr. Rahman!
Yes.
Sir, please come out when I call your name!
-Yes. -Okay.
He replied, I heard him.
Music's heart and soul A. R. Rahman on a roll!
Sing along!
Music's heart and soul A. R. Rahman on a roll!
Let us dance, dance, dance!
Thank you, Rahman sir. Thank you so much. Please.
Oh my God!
Acting's shining star Vijay Sethupathi by far!
It's the public's demand
Let us dance, dance, dance!
What's that…
It's the public's demand
Let us dance, dance, dance!
Do you want to see Sethupathi ji dance?
Come on, louder!
Nah, you're not getting it.
Why does the girl's dress flare like that when she dances?
Cast your gaze on us as well, Sidhu sahab!
Aditi!
-Let me see what song you have for her. -Please come.
All I can say for her is Wow, wow, wow!
Aditi Rao, Rao, Rao!
Come on, come on!
Aditi Rao, Rao, Rao!
It's the public's demand
Let us…
Absolutely beautiful!
-Siddharth! -Siddhu! Siddhu! Siddhu!
The energy is high, high, high!
Siddharth bhai, bhai, bhai!
There he comes!
It's the public's demand
Let us dance, dance, dance!
-Thank you, Siddharth bhai! -Thank you.
Rahman sahab, this performance was a sample for you.
This is my card. Diamond Raja, proprietor, Chak Chak Dhoom Orchestra.
Please call me if there's any music event or gig.
-The world approaches him for music. -Yes.
And you think he'd contact you?
Even the flour mill runs out of flour sometimes.
So they must buy it from elsewhere.
I want to thank you with all my heart, Rahman sahab.
As you know, Archana ji laughs uncontrollably.
For her laugh, you created such a thoughtful song.
You made the song "Yeh Haseen Vadiyan."
Thank you so much. Gratitude.
What's wrong with you?
Kapil ji, I never imagined in my life that I could be so useful to him.
You're not even useful to your own family. How could you be useful to him?
Please don't talk nonsense all the time.
Sir, this is my card.
Diamond Raja, Extrovert Maker.
We turn introverts into extroverts.
I see!
How do you do that?
Sir, you and Rahman sir are the introverted kind.
First of all, you have to say in your mind
that you want to be an extrovert. Okay?
If I ask you, you say, "I'm an extrovert."
-Who are you? -I'm Vijay Sethupathi.
But, Rahman sir, you did well.
In your mind, you said, "I'm an extrovert."
Because he's an introvert, he's saying it in his mind.
-Yeah, fine! -I'm intentionally an introvert.
If I want to be an extrovert, I can be one.
Sir, we're not that good at English.
Sir, I will tell you how to become an extrovert.
So, first of all-- The first way is the chewing gum method.
What's that?
In the chewing gum method, we sit like this.
And you have to chew the gum at the speed of two.
What do you mean?
-Speed of two. -Like a fan has speeds? One, two, three?
Speed two.
What does speed three look like?
Speed three is a bit too much.
And speed five?
Cows and buffaloes chew at that speed! We don't need to…
And speed one?
Speed one makes the gum stick to your mouth.
-So, speed two is the best? -Speed two is for extroverts.
Do you offer any course worse than this one?
What a terrible, pointless course this is!
It's not pointless. Sidhu sahab has taken the premium package of this course.
Sethupathi ji, our minds function in a strange way!
I'm talking about Sidhu sahab,
but guess what's on my mind?
It's your film.
Gandhi Talks.
I'm thinking about that.
What a film you have made! A silent film.
I have also made an exceptional film.
It is about guessing.
-Guessing? -Yours is a silent film, right?
Mine is all about guessing.
Okay.
Yeah.
The audience fills in everything with their imagination.
It's a film about imagination. I'll show you.
So, I'm heading home.
When did I even install a doorbell with this tune?
You're already inside. What's this key for?
Do you live in a locker?
No, my wife is standing here in her sari. I'm just pinching her.
-Oh, okay. -Yes.
-Okay. -Oh my God!
I'm pinching my wife, sir.
I just gave you a crash course on being an extrovert.
Mr. Pincher.
You took off your coat.
Are you even wearing a blouse?
-I have a mild sprain… in my back. -It's aching.
-Got it. -Yes.
Okay.
-You're pinching her again? -No, man!
I'm just turning on the stove to make tea for my wife.
The tea's on the stove. I'm heading to the bathroom.
Hey!
-Bathroom… -What's this now?
-You're pinching her again. -I'm turning on the faucet, man!
-I'm not pinching anyone. -Okay, fine.
A tap.
I'm in the bathroom.
No!
He's washing clothes!
He's washing clothes.
-Under the faucet. -Okay, that's the faucet?
No, my wife is sitting here. I'm pinching her.
Go away! I'm washing clothes!
You're wasting my time!
Your new sari will get ruined.
We just can't tell when you're pinching and when you're not.
-What now? -You're washing clothes again?
No, my mother's sitting here. I'm just massaging her legs.
Okay.
You're pinching again?
No. My father's sitting here. I'm twirling his mustache.
He's like, "You only care about your mother. What about me?"
-What now? -Tea's ready.
-Tea's ready! -No, man! My wife's standing here.
Move! I'm making tea! Why are you here?
I'm pinching her.
Wait a minute.
Aren't you ashamed?
-Your father was right here. -Yes.
-You twirled his mustache. -Yes.
Now you're pinching your wife in front of him?
My whole life, I've seen my father pinch my mother in front of me.
What's the big deal?
Bhaisahab, summers back home weren't about games.
They were full of playful pinches! Get it?
-Really? -Sir, even the name of this film is
Summer's Playful Pinches.
And Rahman sahab,
sorry to take this liberty,
but I want your music in the film.
I really do.
Now that deserves a beating.
I already have one song, sir. I just want to give it a quick polish.
-A quick polish?! -A quick polish?!
It'll make the movie huge. Imagine seeing "Music by A. R. Rahman." Wow.
I recently released a song with Priyanka ji.
It went viral.
With the same lyrics,
I'm thinking maybe…
you could collaborate on it, however you like.
I have one condition too.
-Yes? -This song has to be filmed on me.
-In the film-- -Hear the song out first.
You might end up changing your mind.
-But it's Rahman sir's song, right? -Yes. If it's Rahman sir's song,
it'll be a chartbuster!
One, two, three.
Pinching will go on all night
My love, do it slowly, slowly
Baby, pinch slowly, slowly
Can we have a round of applause?
Tea will keep brewing all night
My love, let it simmer slowly, slowly
Baby, boil slowly, slowly
Everyone, thank you! Thank you, Rahman sahab!
Thank you so much!
Let's give a huge round of applause to our guests.
Vijay sir,
-thank you so much for coming. -Thank you, sir.
-Thank you, Aditi. Thank you so much. -Thank you.
-Siddhu, my bro. Thank you. -Bhai.
-Thank you, Rahman sahab. -Thank you so much.
Thank you, sir.
Let's hear it for them!
Thank you so much for joining us on the show.
All the very best for your movie, Gandhi Talks.
Friends, the fun and laughter will keep coming. That's all for today.
We'll meet again next Saturday with new guests.
Until then, keep watching The Great Indian Kapil Show.
Every Funnyday for a fresh dose of fun, only on Netflix.
Good night. Take care.
Sidhu sahab, I must tell you,
I've had a crush on Archana ji for a long time.
The way you grab her hand and laugh
makes me want to put a scorpion in your pants.
Please welcome Mr. AP Dhillon…
and the very talented Mr. Anubhav Singh Bassi.
Tonight, we have two global stars on this stage.
AP Dhillon and Kapil Sharma.
Paaji, when your song first crossed millions of views,
did you believe it,
or did you think Justin Bieber's Wi-Fi got connected by mistake?
I was so focused on work that I didn't even notice.
You might not have noticed,
but all the single girls noticed you closely.
One venue offered me 8,000 rupees to perform.
I went on stage and said, "We're going to start stand-up comedy."
Everyone looked at me briefly, then went back to their conversations.
An uncle stood up and walked toward me. I thought he must have liked the joke.
He said, "Son, have a drink and stay quiet for a while."
I'm here to give you the biggest lesson of your life.
Please go ahead.
I can also do a bit of comedy.
Paaji, two things are very difficult in life.
Singing and making people laugh.
That's why, please give a big round of applause for Kapil!