1 00:00:11,322 --> 00:00:13,259 - [Nikki] Okay. - [Molly chuckles] 2 00:00:13,728 --> 00:00:17,535 [both laughing] 3 00:00:20,140 --> 00:00:21,142 [Nikki] Yeah. 4 00:00:31,195 --> 00:00:33,534 Okay. Okay. 5 00:00:34,268 --> 00:00:36,706 After you talk to her, I will discuss some options. 6 00:00:36,707 --> 00:00:38,510 Okay. Are you, uh-- 7 00:00:38,511 --> 00:00:39,646 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah? 8 00:00:39,647 --> 00:00:40,681 It's my job. 9 00:00:49,566 --> 00:00:51,770 [sniffles] I'll need a second. 10 00:00:53,206 --> 00:00:56,546 [laughing] 11 00:00:56,547 --> 00:00:59,251 - [Nikki] Oh, man. - [Molly screams] He can talk. 12 00:01:00,655 --> 00:01:02,490 - Yeah. - [nurse] Hi. 13 00:01:02,491 --> 00:01:03,627 - Hi. - Hi. 14 00:01:03,628 --> 00:01:05,564 [both chuckle] 15 00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:06,633 I'm Amy. 16 00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:08,236 - Hi. Sorry. - Hi. 17 00:01:09,205 --> 00:01:11,609 Well, now that Dr. Pankowitz has talked to you, 18 00:01:11,610 --> 00:01:14,649 I'm here to talk to you about hospice. 19 00:01:22,197 --> 00:01:23,333 What do you mean a hospice? 20 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:30,179 Has Dr. Pankowitz [stammers] 21 00:01:30,180 --> 00:01:31,282 Shoot. 22 00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:33,419 Eh, shoot, shoot. Um-- 23 00:01:34,255 --> 00:01:35,825 You know what? Don't worry about it. 24 00:01:37,361 --> 00:01:38,764 I'm gonna come back later. How about that? 25 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:40,534 [door opens] 26 00:01:40,535 --> 00:01:42,838 [Amy] Hi. There was a little misunderstanding and, 27 00:01:42,839 --> 00:01:44,509 I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, I boned this. 28 00:01:44,510 --> 00:01:46,479 Oh, Jesus, Amy! 29 00:01:47,214 --> 00:01:48,751 Molly. Hey. 30 00:01:49,118 --> 00:01:50,888 I'm so sorry you found out this way. 31 00:01:52,525 --> 00:01:53,627 Hi. 32 00:01:54,428 --> 00:01:55,631 Hi, Molly. 33 00:01:56,499 --> 00:01:57,935 [whispering] Dr. P. 34 00:01:57,936 --> 00:02:01,241 Uh, we got the results from the lumbar puncture, 35 00:02:01,242 --> 00:02:04,682 and they showed that the cancer has spread 36 00:02:04,683 --> 00:02:07,755 to the lining of your spinal cord and your brain. 37 00:02:07,756 --> 00:02:08,857 [Molly exhales] 38 00:02:09,593 --> 00:02:10,628 So you failed? 39 00:02:11,096 --> 00:02:12,363 You said five years. 40 00:02:12,364 --> 00:02:14,201 - I didn't. - He didn't. 41 00:02:14,202 --> 00:02:16,740 I think we're looking at a few weeks to a few months. 42 00:02:17,509 --> 00:02:20,279 But we could still do another round of chemotherapy. 43 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:21,883 We could do We could do 44 00:02:21,884 --> 00:02:24,656 What the fuck Immunotherapy. 45 00:02:26,325 --> 00:02:27,461 If that's what you want. 46 00:02:32,806 --> 00:02:33,807 I ca I can't do that. 47 00:02:36,279 --> 00:02:37,280 Okay. 48 00:02:39,986 --> 00:02:41,957 - Okay? - Yeah. 49 00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:47,635 I can come back at better time. 50 00:02:50,407 --> 00:02:52,277 Well, fuck, Amy. 51 00:02:52,979 --> 00:02:54,214 Now we need you. 52 00:03:09,011 --> 00:03:10,948 Goodbye, Jerry. Thank you. 53 00:03:10,949 --> 00:03:12,284 Bye, Molly. 54 00:03:12,919 --> 00:03:13,954 - Bye, Nikki. - See you around. 55 00:03:13,955 --> 00:03:15,256 Yeah. 56 00:03:44,348 --> 00:03:45,416 Ooh, welcome. 57 00:03:46,252 --> 00:03:48,590 Let me know if I can help you with anything. 58 00:03:49,058 --> 00:03:52,063 You gals like puzzles? Or books? 59 00:03:52,064 --> 00:03:54,435 I got so many art supplies. 60 00:03:54,870 --> 00:03:56,573 Hey, you can put anything on the walls too. 61 00:03:56,574 --> 00:03:58,309 Just don't drill into 'em. 62 00:03:58,310 --> 00:04:00,747 [chuckles] Yeah. We didn't bring a drill to hospice. 63 00:04:00,748 --> 00:04:01,950 Oh, you'd be surprised. 64 00:04:03,353 --> 00:04:04,589 You'd be surprised. 65 00:04:06,627 --> 00:04:07,628 [Sonya clears throat] 66 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:11,435 Hey. 67 00:04:12,037 --> 00:04:13,574 You have the power here. 68 00:04:14,275 --> 00:04:17,849 You tell Amy what you wanna feel and when. 69 00:04:18,851 --> 00:04:19,886 What I want to feel. 70 00:04:30,541 --> 00:04:31,743 [softly] Thank you. 71 00:04:32,912 --> 00:04:33,981 [softly] Thank you. 72 00:04:43,968 --> 00:04:45,470 I want a different room. 73 00:04:46,405 --> 00:04:47,775 I wanna change rooms. 74 00:04:47,776 --> 00:04:49,812 Hmm. I think they're all pretty much the same, 75 00:04:49,813 --> 00:04:51,649 but we can make this good. 76 00:04:51,650 --> 00:04:52,718 We can decorate. 77 00:04:52,719 --> 00:04:54,655 Not that painting. 78 00:04:54,656 --> 00:04:56,425 That painting's screwed on. 79 00:04:56,426 --> 00:04:58,797 I think it's a masterwork, 80 00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:02,638 but why don't you tell me what you think is worst part of this gorgeous painting? 81 00:05:02,639 --> 00:05:03,774 The fishermen. 82 00:05:04,676 --> 00:05:05,711 No, it's the boat. 83 00:05:05,712 --> 00:05:06,780 [Nikki] Hmm. 84 00:05:08,617 --> 00:05:10,554 Actually, the fish. 85 00:05:10,555 --> 00:05:12,524 Why are there so many fish? 86 00:05:12,525 --> 00:05:15,496 [Nikki] Such an in-your-face, like, obscene amount of fish. 87 00:05:19,906 --> 00:05:21,643 I think my mom is calling. 88 00:05:23,046 --> 00:05:24,081 My phone's not ringing. 89 00:05:24,883 --> 00:05:26,553 [phone ringing] 90 00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:28,122 Hmm. 91 00:05:31,495 --> 00:05:32,564 [Nikki gasps] 92 00:05:32,565 --> 00:05:33,934 - Is it-- - Oh, my God! 93 00:05:34,836 --> 00:05:35,804 How did you know that? 94 00:05:37,007 --> 00:05:38,510 I think I'm starting to be magic. 95 00:05:39,579 --> 00:05:40,648 I believe it. 96 00:05:46,593 --> 00:05:47,828 Mom, hi. 97 00:05:49,799 --> 00:05:50,968 I'm in hospice. 98 00:05:51,870 --> 00:05:54,107 [Gail] Okay. Okay. 99 00:05:54,108 --> 00:05:56,546 I, uh I'm here if you need me. 100 00:05:57,247 --> 00:06:00,955 You just tell me when you need me. I'm nearby. 101 00:06:01,890 --> 00:06:03,125 Where are you? 102 00:06:03,126 --> 00:06:05,096 - [elevator dings] - I'm in the lobby. 103 00:06:06,165 --> 00:06:07,400 Of the hospital? 104 00:06:08,771 --> 00:06:11,041 - Yes. - Of this hospital? 105 00:06:11,042 --> 00:06:14,414 I'm in the lobby. How many times do I have to say it? 106 00:06:15,183 --> 00:06:16,820 Where else was I going to be? 107 00:06:20,493 --> 00:06:21,596 I want you here, Mom. 108 00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:25,838 - Hi, there. Are you-- - Gail. My name is Gail. 109 00:06:32,919 --> 00:06:33,920 Mom! 110 00:06:38,797 --> 00:06:39,866 Mom. 111 00:06:43,507 --> 00:06:44,509 [Molly cries] 112 00:06:45,978 --> 00:06:47,447 Oh, baby girl. 113 00:06:48,784 --> 00:06:49,852 My baby girl. 114 00:07:05,016 --> 00:07:06,519 [Amy] Hey. 115 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:08,122 That kid over there was wondering 116 00:07:08,123 --> 00:07:10,561 if he could play with that puzzle for a little while. 117 00:07:11,897 --> 00:07:12,932 No. 118 00:07:15,236 --> 00:07:17,775 No. Okay. I'll tell him that. 119 00:07:19,579 --> 00:07:21,148 She wants to stick with it. 120 00:07:21,883 --> 00:07:22,918 Is she dying? 121 00:07:24,088 --> 00:07:25,089 No. 122 00:07:25,524 --> 00:07:27,060 But neither are you. 123 00:07:27,061 --> 00:07:29,197 Neither am I, so let's just be cool. 124 00:07:29,198 --> 00:07:30,233 How about search a word? 125 00:07:33,005 --> 00:07:34,041 [door opens] 126 00:07:34,776 --> 00:07:36,913 Hi, Gail. I'm just 127 00:07:38,049 --> 00:07:39,184 I just need to get my bag. 128 00:07:41,322 --> 00:07:45,229 The nurse is gonna bring a cot in so I can sleep here. 129 00:07:45,230 --> 00:07:47,200 Oh, good, Gail. 130 00:07:49,304 --> 00:07:51,810 Well, I'll just be in the, um 131 00:07:52,444 --> 00:07:54,214 the waiting room finishing my puzzle. 132 00:07:56,620 --> 00:07:57,922 - Nikki. - Yeah. 133 00:08:00,995 --> 00:08:02,230 What you've done for her 134 00:08:02,231 --> 00:08:03,265 [Nikki] Oh 135 00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:14,655 Uh, who's taking care of your dogs while you're gone? 136 00:08:14,656 --> 00:08:16,258 Scotty, my lover. 137 00:08:21,235 --> 00:08:24,107 Would you Would you like to finish your puzzle in here? 138 00:08:29,886 --> 00:08:30,954 [Nikki] This is cheese. 139 00:08:31,790 --> 00:08:33,693 This is lemon. 140 00:08:34,896 --> 00:08:37,266 Lemon! No, cheese. 141 00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:40,005 [Gail] This is sun. 142 00:08:40,006 --> 00:08:42,009 We're gonna have to start another pile for the sun. 143 00:08:42,010 --> 00:08:43,780 I'll do sun. 144 00:08:43,781 --> 00:08:45,316 [Nikki] Okay, good. And can you also do the mouse? 145 00:08:45,317 --> 00:08:47,788 [Gail] Oh, I'd love to do the mouse. Thank you. 146 00:08:56,673 --> 00:08:57,708 What happened to your hair? What? 147 00:08:57,709 --> 00:08:58,777 [gasps] 148 00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:01,816 - Wait, is there something weird about it? - Yeah. 149 00:09:01,817 --> 00:09:04,053 Oh, my God! What did you do to me? 150 00:09:04,054 --> 00:09:05,323 It wasn't me, man! 151 00:09:05,958 --> 00:09:08,362 It just seems like you might be coming down with something. 152 00:09:08,363 --> 00:09:11,201 - She always wanted pink hair. - She wouldn't let me. 153 00:09:11,202 --> 00:09:13,038 [chuckles] It looks dope. 154 00:09:13,039 --> 00:09:14,107 Thank you. 155 00:09:15,410 --> 00:09:18,015 So, as you are filling out those forms, 156 00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:21,321 who would like to hear about what happens when you're dying? 157 00:09:23,727 --> 00:09:24,829 That's good enough for me. 158 00:09:25,531 --> 00:09:29,839 Death is not a mystery. It is not a medical disaster. 159 00:09:30,641 --> 00:09:32,812 It is a bodily process, 160 00:09:33,246 --> 00:09:34,314 like giving birth, 161 00:09:35,083 --> 00:09:38,088 or like going to the bathroom, or coughing, 162 00:09:38,489 --> 00:09:39,792 having an orgasm. 163 00:09:40,961 --> 00:09:43,132 'Cause your body knows what to do. 164 00:09:43,634 --> 00:09:45,269 Your body knows how to die! 165 00:09:45,637 --> 00:09:46,973 How cool is that? 166 00:09:48,442 --> 00:09:50,814 Okay. Here's what to expect. 167 00:09:51,181 --> 00:09:54,387 In the last month of your life, you're gonna stop getting out of bed. 168 00:09:54,922 --> 00:09:58,295 You're gonna to eat and drink a lot less, and you're gonna sleep a lot more. 169 00:09:58,663 --> 00:10:00,767 Uh, delirium is common. 170 00:10:00,768 --> 00:10:03,139 And some people say they get this feeling like 171 00:10:04,041 --> 00:10:05,977 time stops being real. 172 00:10:05,978 --> 00:10:07,981 Is that something that you've been feeling? 173 00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:09,685 - Yes! - Yes. 174 00:10:09,686 --> 00:10:11,756 Okay. Two to three weeks out, 175 00:10:11,757 --> 00:10:14,027 you're gonna need help with all daily activities. 176 00:10:14,662 --> 00:10:16,832 But my favorite part of the dying process is-- 177 00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:18,368 Amy! 178 00:10:18,369 --> 00:10:21,742 I know. I've been talked to about my enthusiasm. 179 00:10:21,743 --> 00:10:23,078 I should dial it back. Sorry. 180 00:10:23,079 --> 00:10:24,949 It doesn't work for me right now. 181 00:10:24,950 --> 00:10:26,318 Should I keep going? 182 00:10:26,319 --> 00:10:28,790 Yeah. But will you hold my hand? 183 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:41,248 Your body knows what's coming and it goes into a state of ketosis, 184 00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:44,354 which decreases hunger and pain 185 00:10:44,355 --> 00:10:47,795 and it increases the sense of euphoria. 186 00:10:48,296 --> 00:10:49,965 And when you start active dying-- 187 00:10:49,966 --> 00:10:51,802 What's active dying? 188 00:10:51,803 --> 00:10:54,975 [Amy] Oh, active dying is a sacred time. 189 00:10:54,976 --> 00:10:58,048 At least it used to be, and it still is in some parts of the world. 190 00:10:58,817 --> 00:11:01,054 It's the moment when you're very close to death, 191 00:11:01,055 --> 00:11:02,791 and your body starts shutting down. 192 00:11:05,029 --> 00:11:06,097 How's everyone doing? 193 00:11:06,098 --> 00:11:07,801 I'm looking at you, Gail. 194 00:11:09,338 --> 00:11:12,210 If, uh, Molly wants to hear it, 195 00:11:13,212 --> 00:11:14,715 I can hear it. 196 00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:16,418 You guys, come here. 197 00:11:27,942 --> 00:11:29,879 I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. 198 00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:34,020 [Amy] In active dying, you won't be fully conscious. 199 00:11:34,021 --> 00:11:36,024 And your jaw muscles will relax. 200 00:11:36,025 --> 00:11:38,362 Your breathing changes. 201 00:11:38,363 --> 00:11:41,268 And there might be this gurgling at the back of your throat, 202 00:11:42,037 --> 00:11:46,177 caused by something, unfortunately, called terminal secretions. 203 00:11:46,178 --> 00:11:47,981 [Molly chuckling] 204 00:11:47,982 --> 00:11:49,050 [Amy] I know. 205 00:11:53,025 --> 00:11:55,162 And when you are very close to death, 206 00:11:55,964 --> 00:12:02,076 your breathing goes into a cycle of deep slow breaths and long pauses. 207 00:12:02,778 --> 00:12:06,051 And then eventually, there's a breath out 208 00:12:06,620 --> 00:12:08,990 that is not followed by a breath in. 209 00:12:10,193 --> 00:12:11,228 And that's it. 210 00:12:16,906 --> 00:12:18,409 - Hey. - Yeah, yeah. 211 00:12:18,911 --> 00:12:22,350 [whispering] Can you make sure that my mouth isn't open when I die? 212 00:12:22,351 --> 00:12:23,853 Okay. 213 00:12:25,456 --> 00:12:26,960 Just don't bite me. 214 00:12:28,462 --> 00:12:30,099 Why would I bite you? 215 00:12:30,100 --> 00:12:32,470 I don't know why I need you to tell me this, 216 00:12:32,471 --> 00:12:34,341 but please say that you won't bite me. 217 00:12:34,810 --> 00:12:36,444 How long have you had that fear? 218 00:12:36,445 --> 00:12:38,248 I understand that you would not. 219 00:12:38,249 --> 00:12:40,954 It's very intense in here. I It's an irrational fear! 220 00:12:40,955 --> 00:12:43,225 [Amy] Okay. And at a certain time, 221 00:12:43,226 --> 00:12:45,329 if you're just feeling too weak or 222 00:12:46,165 --> 00:12:48,836 you know, too much pain or you're just done, 223 00:12:48,837 --> 00:12:52,911 you can talk to me about sedating you, but then you'll be unconscious. 224 00:12:52,912 --> 00:12:55,482 I-I wanna feel everything for as long as I can. 225 00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:57,053 Okay, good. 226 00:12:57,054 --> 00:12:58,856 Wait, I forgot to tell you about the rally! 227 00:12:58,857 --> 00:13:00,092 God! Jesus! 228 00:13:00,527 --> 00:13:02,129 The last week of life, 229 00:13:02,130 --> 00:13:05,269 some people experience what's called the rally. 230 00:13:06,038 --> 00:13:09,812 And it's this just surge of energy and mental clarity. 231 00:13:10,413 --> 00:13:12,050 So enjoy the rally. 232 00:13:13,119 --> 00:13:17,126 Just know that you're another step closer to death, okay? 233 00:13:19,064 --> 00:13:21,401 I fucking love your vibe, Amy! 234 00:13:21,402 --> 00:13:23,172 You're nuts, man! 235 00:13:33,660 --> 00:13:35,463 I didn't know if you were gonna wanna see me. 236 00:13:37,935 --> 00:13:39,270 Honestly, 237 00:13:40,473 --> 00:13:42,143 I just like making you cry. 238 00:13:42,144 --> 00:13:43,212 [both chuckle] 239 00:13:47,020 --> 00:13:48,188 Cool. 240 00:13:51,328 --> 00:13:52,363 You in pain? 241 00:13:56,940 --> 00:13:58,108 Yeah. 242 00:14:02,016 --> 00:14:04,621 I had a lot of stuff that I wanted to tell you in here, 243 00:14:04,622 --> 00:14:06,491 but I'm blanking on everything. 244 00:14:10,066 --> 00:14:12,504 Um, Beth is pregnant. 245 00:14:13,540 --> 00:14:15,209 Oh, that's so good. 246 00:14:16,211 --> 00:14:17,514 - Yeah. - Yeah. 247 00:14:19,519 --> 00:14:21,522 I've been reading a lot of baby books. 248 00:14:21,956 --> 00:14:24,962 And did you know for the first few months 249 00:14:24,963 --> 00:14:28,335 they think everything they see is a part of them? 250 00:14:29,137 --> 00:14:30,907 Isn't that wild? 251 00:14:30,908 --> 00:14:32,343 Like, they don't know the difference between themselves 252 00:14:32,344 --> 00:14:33,913 and the rest of the world. 253 00:14:34,515 --> 00:14:36,118 Wow. Yeah, I like that. 254 00:14:37,955 --> 00:14:38,990 [Steve] Yeah. 255 00:14:39,692 --> 00:14:40,927 Me too. 256 00:14:49,444 --> 00:14:51,014 [sighs] 257 00:15:11,421 --> 00:15:13,960 [rattling] 258 00:15:22,410 --> 00:15:25,115 [clock ticking] 259 00:15:29,157 --> 00:15:30,727 [ticking continues] 260 00:15:30,728 --> 00:15:34,166 - [waves crashing] - [gulls squawking] 261 00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:36,304 [bell ringing] 262 00:15:36,305 --> 00:15:37,373 Hey! 263 00:15:38,777 --> 00:15:40,012 [ticking fades] 264 00:15:40,013 --> 00:15:41,549 Hey, Johnny! 265 00:15:41,550 --> 00:15:43,318 The fish are really biting today, huh? 266 00:15:45,289 --> 00:15:48,295 Time to get all these goddamn fish! 267 00:15:49,297 --> 00:15:57,246 - Molly. - Molly. 268 00:15:57,247 --> 00:15:58,516 Molly. Hi. 269 00:16:01,355 --> 00:16:03,993 - [Molly] Oh. - [penis chittering] 270 00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:08,703 Oh, bye, little fella. 271 00:16:11,108 --> 00:16:12,510 Mom! 272 00:16:12,511 --> 00:16:13,713 Look at this! 273 00:16:14,481 --> 00:16:15,750 Wake up. 274 00:16:15,751 --> 00:16:17,119 - Mom, wake up! - [chicken clucking] 275 00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:18,188 Wake up! 276 00:16:18,189 --> 00:16:19,992 Molly, I'm here! 277 00:16:21,261 --> 00:16:22,664 - [Gail] Molly. - Mom. 278 00:16:22,665 --> 00:16:24,735 [baby giggling] 279 00:16:24,736 --> 00:16:26,705 - Good morning, Molly. - I've got your morning pills 280 00:16:26,706 --> 00:16:28,709 - Good morning, Molly. - check on your blood pressure. 281 00:16:28,710 --> 00:16:30,312 - your left arm. - Molly, over here! 282 00:16:30,313 --> 00:16:32,651 [clamoring] 283 00:16:32,652 --> 00:16:34,554 [♪ jazz music playing] 284 00:16:34,555 --> 00:16:35,624 [baby giggling] 285 00:16:37,260 --> 00:16:40,700 [vocalizes] ♪ Time isn't real ♪ 286 00:16:40,701 --> 00:16:42,804 ♪ It's a circle ♪ [vocalizes] 287 00:16:42,805 --> 00:16:46,612 ♪ You're gonna die pretty soon ♪ 288 00:16:46,613 --> 00:16:48,148 [dog barking] 289 00:16:48,149 --> 00:16:49,818 [Dr. Pankowitz vocalizing continues] 290 00:16:49,819 --> 00:16:51,488 [laughter] 291 00:16:53,292 --> 00:16:55,496 [Molly vocalizing continues] 292 00:16:58,770 --> 00:17:00,406 [audio fades] 293 00:17:02,210 --> 00:17:04,080 I've been having these visions. 294 00:17:04,916 --> 00:17:10,325 Like, shit is flying off the walls and rotating around the room. 295 00:17:10,326 --> 00:17:11,862 Wow! 296 00:17:11,863 --> 00:17:15,302 Like, it felt like I was unlinking or something. 297 00:17:15,303 --> 00:17:17,373 Like from the world? 298 00:17:18,309 --> 00:17:21,649 Yeah, and also from, like, time? 299 00:17:21,650 --> 00:17:23,118 [Nikki] Hmm. 300 00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:24,254 Like 301 00:17:26,124 --> 00:17:28,094 I think everything exists at once. 302 00:17:28,095 --> 00:17:30,132 Like, I'm talking to you, 303 00:17:30,534 --> 00:17:33,806 but I'm also talking to every version of you I've ever known. 304 00:17:33,807 --> 00:17:35,877 And it's all in the room with me. 305 00:17:35,878 --> 00:17:37,480 Holy shit. 306 00:17:38,115 --> 00:17:41,321 Like the version of me from 2009 when I got the same hairstyle as you? 307 00:17:42,558 --> 00:17:43,593 Yeah. 308 00:17:45,296 --> 00:17:46,565 Is it scary? 309 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:47,634 No. 310 00:17:48,837 --> 00:17:51,074 I can see how much pain she's in. 311 00:17:51,843 --> 00:17:53,211 What should I do? 312 00:17:53,813 --> 00:17:54,848 Well, take a breath. 313 00:17:55,349 --> 00:17:59,357 'Cause it is very common for people to hold on 314 00:17:59,358 --> 00:18:01,528 when they're waiting for something to resolve 315 00:18:01,529 --> 00:18:05,469 or they're just concerned about causing their loved one a lot of pain. 316 00:18:06,773 --> 00:18:08,375 You think she's worried about you? 317 00:18:09,879 --> 00:18:11,114 [sighs] 318 00:18:11,816 --> 00:18:12,851 No. 319 00:18:15,724 --> 00:18:16,826 Not me. 320 00:18:17,193 --> 00:18:19,565 [Molly] I just wish I could see into the future. 321 00:18:20,299 --> 00:18:22,804 [sighs] I wish I could see you when you're old. 322 00:18:22,805 --> 00:18:26,277 Oh, that? I mean, we're basically almost there. 323 00:18:26,278 --> 00:18:29,350 That's gonna be exactly whatever you think it's gonna be. 324 00:18:29,351 --> 00:18:34,661 It's like, "Oh, hello. I take art classes at the museum, 325 00:18:34,662 --> 00:18:37,868 and I have loose mints that are rolling around in my purse. 326 00:18:38,570 --> 00:18:41,474 And I My breath smells like crayons, 327 00:18:41,475 --> 00:18:45,482 and my farts sound like little marbles being dropped on a floor." 328 00:18:45,483 --> 00:18:46,786 [Nikki laughing] 329 00:18:47,988 --> 00:18:49,591 [both laugh] 330 00:18:49,959 --> 00:18:51,194 I wish 331 00:18:51,763 --> 00:18:53,866 I wish you could be there for that too. 332 00:18:57,841 --> 00:18:59,645 [cries] 333 00:19:04,287 --> 00:19:06,358 Did you call Noah yet to tell him? 334 00:19:06,959 --> 00:19:08,563 No. I'm 335 00:19:10,299 --> 00:19:11,902 - No. - [phone wolf whistles] 336 00:19:11,903 --> 00:19:13,438 Oh, hey. [chuckles] 337 00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:15,409 I just matched with someone. 338 00:19:15,410 --> 00:19:17,881 Oh. Whew. Just in the nick of time. 339 00:19:18,783 --> 00:19:20,520 Oh. 340 00:19:20,521 --> 00:19:21,589 Look at that. 341 00:19:21,956 --> 00:19:23,258 "What are you up to?" 342 00:19:23,259 --> 00:19:24,327 [Nikki laughs] 343 00:19:24,695 --> 00:19:26,966 Um, funny that you asked. 344 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,303 Where have you been all my life? 345 00:19:40,961 --> 00:19:42,396 [Nikki] Yeah. 346 00:19:42,397 --> 00:19:43,465 [gasps] 347 00:19:45,002 --> 00:19:47,507 This is a corner piece. Yes! 348 00:19:48,308 --> 00:19:49,544 And that's for me. 349 00:19:49,545 --> 00:19:50,647 Hey. 350 00:19:51,549 --> 00:19:52,551 Hi. 351 00:19:53,987 --> 00:19:56,290 What's What are you doing here? 352 00:19:56,291 --> 00:19:57,493 Gail called me. 353 00:19:58,095 --> 00:20:00,432 Molly wanted me to play percussion for her. 354 00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:02,771 Gail said she's been listening to a lot of classical music. 355 00:20:04,307 --> 00:20:05,910 - [Noah] Hey, man. - Hey. 356 00:20:06,311 --> 00:20:08,549 - I don't want to put this - I thought it would be a nice surprise. 357 00:20:08,550 --> 00:20:10,787 on you, but it is actually insane what is going on here. 358 00:20:10,788 --> 00:20:12,422 She broke into my phone. 359 00:20:12,423 --> 00:20:14,728 Guilty. I used her face. 360 00:20:14,729 --> 00:20:16,732 - Mom. - While I was sleeping, she did that to me. 361 00:20:16,733 --> 00:20:19,704 Is this real, or am I hallucinating again? I hope it's real. 362 00:20:19,705 --> 00:20:22,309 And her master plan was to get in touch with Noah 363 00:20:22,310 --> 00:20:24,981 and then she wanted me to get back together with him, 364 00:20:24,982 --> 00:20:26,417 so that you would be happy. 365 00:20:26,418 --> 00:20:27,821 I'm not I'm not really sure. 366 00:20:27,822 --> 00:20:28,956 Mom. 367 00:20:29,725 --> 00:20:32,329 You said you would be respectful of boundaries. 368 00:20:32,330 --> 00:20:33,866 With you, not Nikki. 369 00:20:33,867 --> 00:20:35,703 [sighs] Oh, my God. 370 00:20:35,704 --> 00:20:38,843 She thinks that you're worried about leaving me alone. 371 00:20:40,881 --> 00:20:44,353 If that's the case, you can completely not worry about me. 372 00:20:44,354 --> 00:20:48,829 Like, I am gonna be okay, and I'm cool. Like, I'm good. 373 00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:50,766 Just don't, don't even keep that in your mind. 374 00:20:50,767 --> 00:20:52,737 I'm not I'm good. I'm okay. 375 00:20:52,738 --> 00:20:54,608 Okay, well, I hope not that okay. 376 00:20:54,609 --> 00:20:55,710 [Nikki chuckles] 377 00:20:57,748 --> 00:20:58,850 Noah. 378 00:21:00,787 --> 00:21:02,624 I'm sorry that I asked her to do this with me 379 00:21:02,625 --> 00:21:04,861 right when you were beginning to make a life together. 380 00:21:04,862 --> 00:21:06,732 Oh, I'm not sorry. 381 00:21:08,035 --> 00:21:09,003 She loves you. 382 00:21:10,039 --> 00:21:11,709 With everything that she has. 383 00:21:12,644 --> 00:21:13,713 I'm not sorry about that. 384 00:21:15,382 --> 00:21:17,520 I think that you should break up with your girlfriend. 385 00:21:17,521 --> 00:21:19,456 It's my dying wish. 386 00:21:19,457 --> 00:21:20,993 Whoa. Don't break up with your girlfriend. That's I don't-- 387 00:21:20,994 --> 00:21:22,730 You should break up with your girlfriend 388 00:21:22,731 --> 00:21:25,001 or I'll haunt the shit out of you in your dreams. 389 00:21:25,002 --> 00:21:26,638 - Why is everyone being insane? - We broke up. 390 00:21:26,639 --> 00:21:28,041 - [gasps] Oh, Okay. - [gasps] 391 00:21:28,042 --> 00:21:29,310 [Gail] Oh. 392 00:21:29,678 --> 00:21:30,913 [Noah] Yeah. 393 00:21:30,914 --> 00:21:31,949 - When did you break up? - Gail 394 00:21:31,950 --> 00:21:32,951 When did you break up? 395 00:21:32,952 --> 00:21:35,923 Um, like a week ago. So 396 00:21:35,924 --> 00:21:37,527 [Nikki] Hmm. 397 00:21:37,528 --> 00:21:38,562 - Yeah, I didn't That doesn't mean - Oh, no. 398 00:21:38,563 --> 00:21:40,098 I know. Of course not. 399 00:21:40,099 --> 00:21:41,902 I didn't come to hospice today trying to hook up. 400 00:21:41,903 --> 00:21:43,438 That's not No. 401 00:21:45,577 --> 00:21:47,379 You've got a big instrument. 402 00:21:47,380 --> 00:21:49,083 - Oh, God. - Yeah. Thanks, Gail. 403 00:21:49,084 --> 00:21:51,555 Um You wanna see what I can do with it? 404 00:21:51,556 --> 00:21:52,690 - No. - No. 405 00:21:52,691 --> 00:21:53,626 No. 406 00:22:00,974 --> 00:22:02,944 If you gotta go, you can You don't have to 407 00:22:04,581 --> 00:22:06,518 - Or you can wait. Okay. - I want to. 408 00:22:14,735 --> 00:22:15,770 I 409 00:22:17,741 --> 00:22:20,345 I didn't think that I was capable 410 00:22:21,081 --> 00:22:23,051 of loving someone this much. 411 00:22:27,894 --> 00:22:29,798 But I know I can now. 412 00:22:33,005 --> 00:22:34,073 [Nikki whispering] It's nice. 413 00:22:34,808 --> 00:22:36,979 Yeah, that's how I felt when Winter was born. 414 00:22:38,015 --> 00:22:39,785 - Hmm. - It's crazy. It's Yeah. 415 00:22:41,054 --> 00:22:42,089 Yeah. 416 00:22:43,492 --> 00:22:47,466 For me, it's like I'm never gonna be there at the start of someone's life, 417 00:22:47,467 --> 00:22:48,769 like at the beginning. 418 00:22:50,005 --> 00:22:53,713 But I am gonna be there at the end. 419 00:22:54,114 --> 00:22:59,958 And I'm just gonna love this person right up until the end. 420 00:23:02,764 --> 00:23:03,833 That's amazing, Nikki. 421 00:23:11,481 --> 00:23:12,984 Probably go ahead and love you too. 422 00:23:21,836 --> 00:23:23,471 FYI. [chuckles] 423 00:23:27,547 --> 00:23:28,582 Got it. 424 00:23:37,801 --> 00:23:39,905 [scoffs] Oof. 425 00:23:50,593 --> 00:23:53,031 [phone buzzes] 426 00:23:54,133 --> 00:23:55,168 That's him. 427 00:23:57,708 --> 00:23:59,878 I don't wanna go, but I got a five-star rating, 428 00:23:59,879 --> 00:24:00,980 and I'm not gonna fuck with that. 429 00:24:01,481 --> 00:24:03,217 - I understand. - Yeah, I know. 430 00:24:03,218 --> 00:24:04,487 I know you do. 431 00:24:05,824 --> 00:24:06,859 Walk me out? 432 00:24:08,996 --> 00:24:10,633 [♪ "Heart and Soul" playing] 433 00:24:12,704 --> 00:24:15,108 ♪ I wasn't in the running, I wasn't in the race ♪ 434 00:24:15,109 --> 00:24:17,647 ♪ You move in a way That I've known before ♪ 435 00:24:17,648 --> 00:24:20,586 ♪ Now I want your love, Heart and soul ♪ 436 00:24:20,587 --> 00:24:23,792 - ♪ Tired eyes, Tears that dried ♪ - ♪ Leaving you ain't easy now ♪ 437 00:24:23,793 --> 00:24:26,598 ♪ Loving you's the harder part ♪ 438 00:24:26,599 --> 00:24:28,902 - ♪ Through the door you go - ♪ You never want me For myself ♪ 439 00:24:28,903 --> 00:24:31,641 ♪ Now I've needed you right From the very start ♪ 440 00:24:31,642 --> 00:24:33,912 ♪ Everything you said was To the point ♪ 441 00:24:33,913 --> 00:24:36,918 - ♪ Oh, won't you even try to? ♪ - ♪ Can't you try to? ♪ 442 00:24:36,919 --> 00:24:39,691 ♪ Give a little bit Of heart and soul ♪ 443 00:24:39,692 --> 00:24:41,928 ♪ Give a little bit Of love to grow ♪ 444 00:24:41,929 --> 00:24:44,534 ♪ Give a little bit Of heart and soul ♪ 445 00:24:44,535 --> 00:24:47,707 ♪ And don't you make me Beg for more ♪ 446 00:24:47,708 --> 00:24:50,112 ♪ Give a sign, I need to know ♪ 447 00:24:50,747 --> 00:24:53,117 ♪ A little bit Of heart and soul ♪ 448 00:24:53,118 --> 00:24:54,754 Whoa. 449 00:24:54,755 --> 00:24:56,525 What is going on here? 450 00:24:57,259 --> 00:24:58,996 It's the rally! 451 00:24:58,997 --> 00:25:00,900 We think it's the rally. 452 00:25:00,901 --> 00:25:03,605 ♪ That was the heart Of the love we shared ♪ 453 00:25:03,606 --> 00:25:05,709 - ♪ Do you keep A secret left untold? ♪ - ♪ Is all that I need ♪ 454 00:25:05,710 --> 00:25:08,281 ♪ Can't give love, Heart or soul ♪ 455 00:25:08,282 --> 00:25:11,120 ♪ I used to have a lover With a Midas touch ♪ 456 00:25:11,121 --> 00:25:13,959 ♪ I turned to gold But he turned to dust ♪ 457 00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:16,130 ♪ Left me for another, I turned to stone ♪ 458 00:25:16,131 --> 00:25:19,236 ♪ Now give me love, Heart and soul ♪ 459 00:25:19,237 --> 00:25:22,577 - ♪ Tired eyes, Tears that dried ♪ - ♪ Living in a fantasy ♪ 460 00:25:22,578 --> 00:25:25,281 ♪ There's never any room To breathe ♪ 461 00:25:25,282 --> 00:25:27,653 ♪ Hoping every waking hour ♪ 462 00:25:27,654 --> 00:25:30,024 ♪ You'll turn around And say that we can start ♪ 463 00:25:30,025 --> 00:25:32,295 ♪ Everything you did Just said it all ♪ 464 00:25:32,296 --> 00:25:35,703 - ♪ Oh, won't you even try to? ♪ - ♪ Can't you try to? ♪ 465 00:25:35,704 --> 00:25:38,241 ♪ Give a little bit Of heart and soul ♪ 466 00:25:38,242 --> 00:25:40,980 ♪ Give a little bit Of love to grow ♪ 467 00:25:49,263 --> 00:25:50,298 [Sonya grunts] 468 00:25:58,081 --> 00:25:59,283 How's the water, honey? 469 00:26:01,354 --> 00:26:04,259 It's good. [sighs] 470 00:26:04,260 --> 00:26:05,696 I'm gonna be outside. 471 00:26:06,297 --> 00:26:08,635 The labor and delivery nurse told me you have 20 minutes, 472 00:26:08,636 --> 00:26:11,140 and then a rich person's gonna come have a baby in here. 473 00:26:13,946 --> 00:26:15,015 Yeah. 474 00:26:16,852 --> 00:26:20,192 [door opens, closes] 475 00:26:22,396 --> 00:26:23,632 [Molly gasps] 476 00:26:28,709 --> 00:26:30,646 I thought it would feel good. 477 00:26:32,116 --> 00:26:33,886 But it just hurts. 478 00:26:33,887 --> 00:26:35,222 [Gail] Oh, honey. 479 00:26:37,928 --> 00:26:39,330 [Molly breathes heavily] 480 00:26:47,146 --> 00:26:48,815 I think I'm ready. 481 00:26:48,816 --> 00:26:49,951 [Nikki sighs] 482 00:26:52,056 --> 00:26:54,193 - [softly] Okay. - [sighs] 483 00:26:55,295 --> 00:26:56,330 [Gail] Good. 484 00:26:56,865 --> 00:27:01,040 I'll go back to the room 485 00:27:01,041 --> 00:27:02,276 and talk to Amy. 486 00:27:03,078 --> 00:27:05,983 Maybe she'll have some sedation option. 487 00:27:10,927 --> 00:27:12,095 Mom 488 00:27:22,784 --> 00:27:23,819 I know. 489 00:27:26,057 --> 00:27:27,694 I already know. 490 00:27:31,969 --> 00:27:34,273 Anything you could say to me, 491 00:27:36,311 --> 00:27:37,714 I already know. 492 00:28:02,864 --> 00:28:03,899 [door opens, closes] 493 00:28:17,259 --> 00:28:20,098 My body did a really good job. 494 00:28:20,533 --> 00:28:21,768 Oh 495 00:28:22,937 --> 00:28:24,306 It did so good. 496 00:28:24,307 --> 00:28:25,408 [sighs] 497 00:28:38,536 --> 00:28:42,442 [Amy] Okay, I have the first dose here for you. 498 00:28:43,044 --> 00:28:46,551 Gonna ease your pain. It's gonna make your breathing so much easier. 499 00:28:46,552 --> 00:28:48,321 [breathes heavily] 500 00:28:53,933 --> 00:28:55,502 [Molly] Know what? 501 00:28:55,503 --> 00:28:57,039 Honestly, 502 00:28:59,978 --> 00:29:02,015 it's not that fucking serious. 503 00:29:02,016 --> 00:29:03,318 [chuckles] 504 00:29:05,590 --> 00:29:07,259 Let's get this show on the road. 505 00:29:08,896 --> 00:29:10,065 I'm kind of excited. 506 00:29:12,202 --> 00:29:15,208 You know how many plans and trips 507 00:29:16,144 --> 00:29:18,949 I've had to cancel because I wasn't feeling well? 508 00:29:21,588 --> 00:29:27,432 And now it's like I get to go on a trip that's just for me. 509 00:29:30,005 --> 00:29:31,942 - Yeah. - [Amy] Okay. 510 00:30:08,481 --> 00:30:11,521 I am so proud of you. 511 00:30:12,957 --> 00:30:14,326 And I love you. 512 00:30:15,630 --> 00:30:19,203 And I am so grateful for you. 513 00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:29,557 You are my favorite person in the whole wide world. 514 00:31:07,266 --> 00:31:09,303 [Molly wheezes] 515 00:31:19,390 --> 00:31:20,458 [wheezes] 516 00:31:25,202 --> 00:31:26,638 [wheezes] 517 00:31:37,694 --> 00:31:39,429 [Molly inhales] 518 00:31:39,430 --> 00:31:41,668 [gurgles] 519 00:31:43,539 --> 00:31:44,507 I'm here. 520 00:31:45,308 --> 00:31:46,611 I'm here and I got you. 521 00:31:49,283 --> 00:31:54,092 [Molly exhales] 522 00:32:27,727 --> 00:32:28,729 Oh, shit. 523 00:32:53,144 --> 00:32:55,014 [whispering] Thank you for not biting me. 524 00:33:12,517 --> 00:33:14,453 [actor] Our revels now are ended. 525 00:33:16,123 --> 00:33:18,528 These are actors, 526 00:33:18,529 --> 00:33:22,368 As I foretold you, were all spirits 527 00:33:22,369 --> 00:33:25,174 And melted in the air, into thin air: 528 00:33:25,643 --> 00:33:29,049 And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, 529 00:33:29,483 --> 00:33:34,126 The cloud-capp'd towers, the gorgeous palaces, 530 00:33:35,395 --> 00:33:39,069 The solemn temples, the great globe itself, 531 00:33:39,704 --> 00:33:41,373 Shall dissolve 532 00:33:41,374 --> 00:33:45,381 And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, 533 00:33:45,382 --> 00:33:47,419 Leave not a rack behind. 534 00:33:48,288 --> 00:33:52,830 We are such stuff as dreams are made of, and our little life 535 00:33:52,831 --> 00:33:54,667 Is rounded with a sleep. 536 00:34:04,587 --> 00:34:06,323 [pedestrian] No! [laughs] 537 00:34:06,324 --> 00:34:08,160 You're terrible. I can't 538 00:34:08,729 --> 00:34:11,133 [chuckles] Tell me 539 00:34:11,134 --> 00:34:12,570 [♪ "Calling for You" playing] 540 00:34:13,605 --> 00:34:14,840 [Noah] Hey. 541 00:34:14,841 --> 00:34:16,277 Sorry we're late. 542 00:34:17,847 --> 00:34:20,284 Hi, Winter. How's school? 543 00:34:20,285 --> 00:34:22,155 [audio fades out] 544 00:34:22,156 --> 00:34:26,865 ♪ Well, I woke up This morning without you ♪ 545 00:34:27,701 --> 00:34:31,675 ♪ Don't ask me how, But I got through ♪ 546 00:34:32,844 --> 00:34:37,452 ♪ The floor of this room I've been pacing ♪ 547 00:34:38,087 --> 00:34:41,728 ♪ Trying to drown out The sound my heart is making ♪ 548 00:34:42,262 --> 00:34:45,803 ♪ It's calling for you ♪ 549 00:34:48,408 --> 00:34:53,552 ♪ Well, I woke up This morning without you ♪ 550 00:34:54,353 --> 00:34:58,562 ♪ Don't ask me how, But I got through ♪ 551 00:34:59,497 --> 00:35:03,739 ♪ The floor of this room, I was pacing ♪ 552 00:35:04,708 --> 00:35:09,182 ♪ Trying to drown out The sound my heart was making ♪ 553 00:35:09,183 --> 00:35:13,224 ♪ It was calling for you ♪ 554 00:35:14,828 --> 00:35:23,243 ♪ Calling for you ♪ 555 00:35:23,244 --> 00:35:28,387 ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪