1
00:00:06,068 --> 00:00:07,820
[director] Okay, Will,
whenever you're ready.

2
00:00:08,404 --> 00:00:13,617
[Will] Okay, just walking
into the room and

3
00:00:15,411 --> 00:00:21,083
sitting down the way you sometimes see
at the top of a documentary.

4
00:00:23,002 --> 00:00:24,462
Where they use the B-roll,

5
00:00:25,171 --> 00:00:28,299
but the person... the subject
didn't realize they were gonna use it.

6
00:00:29,592 --> 00:00:30,551
But it's all natural.

7
00:00:31,677 --> 00:00:35,765
Hi there. I'm Will Ferrell.
One of the greatest actors in the world.

8
00:00:35,765 --> 00:00:36,682
[dramatic beat]

9
00:00:36,682 --> 00:00:40,102
[Will] A long time ago,
back when I was at <i>Saturday Night Live</i>...

10
00:00:40,102 --> 00:00:41,479
[woman] Will Ferrell.

11
00:00:41,479 --> 00:00:44,190
I haven't made
a lot of friends here. Really.

12
00:00:44,190 --> 00:00:46,442
...I met a guy named Andrew Steele.

13
00:00:46,942 --> 00:00:50,029
He was hired as a writer
the same week I was hired to perform.

14
00:00:50,029 --> 00:00:51,822
Hello, I'm Robert Goulet.

15
00:00:51,822 --> 00:00:54,325
He wrote a bunch of sketches for me.

16
00:00:54,325 --> 00:00:55,659
Hello, you got Saddam.

17
00:00:55,659 --> 00:00:58,329
And he eventually became
the head writer of <i>SNL.</i>

18
00:00:58,329 --> 00:01:00,206
Will you put the antlers down?

19
00:01:01,457 --> 00:01:05,002
[Will] Andrew was Iowa-born and raised.

20
00:01:05,002 --> 00:01:06,462
501 jeans,

21
00:01:06,462 --> 00:01:07,838
shitty beer,

22
00:01:07,838 --> 00:01:09,548
hitchhiking type of guy.

23
00:01:09,548 --> 00:01:11,634
- Three days.
- [truck horn honking]

24
00:01:11,634 --> 00:01:12,551
No sleep.

25
00:01:13,344 --> 00:01:15,888
[Will] Basically, a lovable curmudgeon

26
00:01:15,888 --> 00:01:18,933
with a super weird,
creative sense of humor.

27
00:01:18,933 --> 00:01:21,310
[Steele] We worked
at <i>Saturday Night Live</i> for years,

28
00:01:21,310 --> 00:01:22,812
and he kept bringing up

29
00:01:22,812 --> 00:01:25,272
that he wanted to do
an after-school special.

30
00:01:25,773 --> 00:01:28,359
Do you know the dangers
of diabetic ketoacidosis?

31
00:01:28,359 --> 00:01:29,527
[audience laughing]

32
00:01:29,527 --> 00:01:31,070
[Will] We goofed off a lot.

33
00:01:31,612 --> 00:01:33,030
We drank a lot.

34
00:01:33,614 --> 00:01:35,783
If you've ever
scratched your head and said,

35
00:01:35,783 --> 00:01:37,660
"Why did Will Ferrell make that?"

36
00:01:37,660 --> 00:01:40,830
there's a good chance
Andrew Steele was involved.

37
00:01:41,413 --> 00:01:44,083
Why did I make a Lifetime TV movie?

38
00:01:44,083 --> 00:01:46,460
Sarah can work.
I'll stay at home with the kids.

39
00:01:46,460 --> 00:01:49,046
Why did I make a movie all in Spanish?

40
00:01:49,046 --> 00:01:51,715
{\an8}[in Spanish] Let's have
a race back to the house!

41
00:01:51,715 --> 00:01:55,344
{\an8}[in English] Why did I make
a bunch of commercials for a shitty beer?

42
00:01:56,011 --> 00:01:58,889
While this was all happening,
we both got married,

43
00:01:58,889 --> 00:02:00,266
became dads,

44
00:02:00,766 --> 00:02:03,060
and, over the years,

45
00:02:03,060 --> 00:02:05,271
he became one of my closest friends.

46
00:02:07,022 --> 00:02:10,442
When the pandemic hit,
we didn't see each other for a long time.

47
00:02:10,442 --> 00:02:14,280
And then one day, I was in the middle
of shooting a movie in Boston,

48
00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:19,118
and I got this email from Andrew.

49
00:02:20,202 --> 00:02:21,162
"Hey, Will."

50
00:02:22,163 --> 00:02:23,998
"Something I need you to know."

51
00:02:24,999 --> 00:02:26,083
"I'm old now,

52
00:02:26,834 --> 00:02:30,671
and, as ridiculous and unnecessary
as it may seem to report,

53
00:02:30,671 --> 00:02:33,799
I'll be transitioning to live as a woman."

54
00:02:35,426 --> 00:02:37,011
[Steele] "In the last ten years,

55
00:02:37,011 --> 00:02:39,305
I've been trying to understand
what's going on."

56
00:02:39,305 --> 00:02:42,266
"Tried to get rid of it
over and over again throughout my life."

57
00:02:42,766 --> 00:02:44,185
"Now I'm giving up the fight."

58
00:02:45,519 --> 00:02:48,522
"When I was young,
I thought all boys felt like me."

59
00:02:49,106 --> 00:02:51,692
"Then I thought,
'Maybe I'm just a weirdo.'"

60
00:02:52,359 --> 00:02:55,613
"Then I pushed it away for many years
and ended up in therapy."

61
00:02:56,113 --> 00:02:58,866
"It's a wonderful thing
when your mind and body

62
00:02:58,866 --> 00:03:03,162
revolt against the unnatural,
despondent thing you've become."

63
00:03:03,162 --> 00:03:07,041
"I doubt being a trans woman
will change my personality that much."

64
00:03:07,041 --> 00:03:09,752
"Instead of an asshole, I'll be a bitch."

65
00:03:10,377 --> 00:03:12,463
"I think it's made me a lot happier."

66
00:03:13,047 --> 00:03:16,634
"I'd like to say my happiness
translates to a bright, carefree future

67
00:03:16,634 --> 00:03:19,678
full of courage and confidence,
but no such luck."

68
00:03:19,678 --> 00:03:22,681
"I... I carry self-doubt and fear around me,

69
00:03:22,681 --> 00:03:24,934
like the comedian I've been
my whole life."

70
00:03:24,934 --> 00:03:26,644
"I'm not gonna be good at this."

71
00:03:26,644 --> 00:03:27,978
[poignant music playing]

72
00:03:27,978 --> 00:03:33,400
"It's really going to be slow
and awkward and terrifying and joyful."

73
00:03:34,318 --> 00:03:37,529
"Mainly, I'm hoping
I don't lose anyone I care about."

74
00:03:38,322 --> 00:03:40,532
"Thanks, name forthcoming."

75
00:03:44,328 --> 00:03:46,413
That letter was really hard to send.

76
00:03:46,413 --> 00:03:49,333
I kept rewriting it
over and over again and

77
00:03:49,333 --> 00:03:52,586
trying to say what I wanted to say.

78
00:03:53,087 --> 00:03:55,381
It was just... whoa.

79
00:03:56,215 --> 00:03:58,759
This is... crazy.

80
00:03:59,510 --> 00:04:04,265
The biggest question when people come out
of the closet is, "Will I still be loved?"

81
00:04:04,765 --> 00:04:08,269
I've met trans people
who were not loved when they came out.

82
00:04:08,936 --> 00:04:11,605
I don't doubt that Will is my friend,

83
00:04:11,605 --> 00:04:13,732
but I'm not Andrew Steele anymore.

84
00:04:14,233 --> 00:04:16,402
Okay, where do we go from here?

85
00:04:16,902 --> 00:04:18,404
[poignant music continues]

86
00:04:24,118 --> 00:04:25,661
[music fades]

87
00:04:27,413 --> 00:04:28,914
[wind blowing]

88
00:04:35,629 --> 00:04:37,381
[bird calling]

89
00:04:37,381 --> 00:04:38,882
[river water flowing]

90
00:04:42,511 --> 00:04:43,887
[footsteps echoing]

91
00:04:49,059 --> 00:04:51,353
["I Wonder, I Wonder, I Wonder" playing]

92
00:05:03,032 --> 00:05:05,284
[Harper] When I sent
the email out to Will,

93
00:05:05,784 --> 00:05:09,872
he responded pretty quickly
that he supported me coming out.

94
00:05:10,539 --> 00:05:11,498
[chickens clucking]

95
00:05:11,498 --> 00:05:15,461
<i>♪ All by myself
Alone at home feeling blue</i>... <i>♪</i>

96
00:05:15,461 --> 00:05:19,423
[Will] I wrote her a note
saying I loved her and supported her,

97
00:05:19,423 --> 00:05:22,593
and we'd check in with each other
whenever we could.

98
00:05:22,593 --> 00:05:24,178
Oh!

99
00:05:24,178 --> 00:05:25,471
Jackpot!

100
00:05:26,347 --> 00:05:30,017
But... I still had a lot of questions.

101
00:05:31,018 --> 00:05:33,812
[Harper] And I have
a lot of questions I wanna ask Will.

102
00:05:33,812 --> 00:05:38,359
Like what does being trans mean to him?
Does he think I'm a woman?

103
00:05:39,151 --> 00:05:41,779
Does he know any trans people besides me?

104
00:05:42,404 --> 00:05:43,614
Why the name Harper?

105
00:05:44,406 --> 00:05:46,825
And how long did she feel this way?

106
00:05:46,825 --> 00:05:49,411
What made her keep this in for so long?

107
00:05:50,287 --> 00:05:54,333
Is he curious about hormones
and surgeries and hair removal?

108
00:05:55,167 --> 00:05:59,171
Does he wanna ask me all the questions
you're not supposed to ask trans people?

109
00:05:59,671 --> 00:06:01,715
Does she still like shitty beer?

110
00:06:02,216 --> 00:06:04,343
Why does he think
Natty Light is a terrible beer?

111
00:06:04,343 --> 00:06:06,136
Or is she just totally into wine now?

112
00:06:06,136 --> 00:06:09,932
It's a fucking delicious beer.
It's the best beer out there.

113
00:06:09,932 --> 00:06:13,268
How am I supposed to treat her?
Does she want it to change?

114
00:06:13,268 --> 00:06:16,146
Will I be making a completely new friend?

115
00:06:16,146 --> 00:06:18,690
["Freightliner Fever" playing]

116
00:06:20,401 --> 00:06:21,276
Hello?

117
00:06:22,277 --> 00:06:23,862
[Harper] So then he called me,

118
00:06:23,862 --> 00:06:29,201
and his idea at the time was, he knows
that I've been across this country

119
00:06:29,201 --> 00:06:30,786
almost as much as a truck driver.

120
00:06:30,786 --> 00:06:34,706
I've driven it. I hitchhiked. I...
I've been everywhere. I love it so much.

121
00:06:34,706 --> 00:06:35,749
I made it.

122
00:06:35,749 --> 00:06:38,377
I just don't know
if it loves me back right now.

123
00:06:38,377 --> 00:06:42,005
After she had come out and transitioned,
she had kind of lamented,

124
00:06:42,005 --> 00:06:46,510
"Gosh, I don't know if I can go
to these same places as Harper."

125
00:06:46,510 --> 00:06:49,054
A kind of light bulb went off in my head
and was like,

126
00:06:49,054 --> 00:06:51,098
"Harper, would you wanna do a road trip

127
00:06:51,098 --> 00:06:55,227
where we visit these places
as this new version of yourself?"

128
00:06:56,103 --> 00:06:57,646
"And at the same time,

129
00:06:57,646 --> 00:07:00,441
we'd figure out
what this all means to us."

130
00:07:03,318 --> 00:07:06,738
<i>♪ I drive a big freightliner
An' I made my last payment today ♪</i>

131
00:07:08,782 --> 00:07:12,953
<i>♪ An' I drive to all the points
Outta New York City to LA</i>... <i>♪</i>

132
00:07:13,745 --> 00:07:15,998
[Harper] When I road-tripped as a guy,

133
00:07:15,998 --> 00:07:18,250
I brought three T-shirts,

134
00:07:18,250 --> 00:07:20,335
three underwears... [chuckling]

135
00:07:20,335 --> 00:07:22,129
...and a pair of jeans.

136
00:07:22,129 --> 00:07:26,800
Yeah, this is gonna be hard.
And the shoes are the hardest part.

137
00:07:27,468 --> 00:07:28,427
Oh my God.

138
00:07:29,094 --> 00:07:32,222
Every way
that this suitcase can be expanded,

139
00:07:32,222 --> 00:07:33,974
I'm going to expand it.

140
00:07:33,974 --> 00:07:35,517
<i>♪ Giddyup-go... ♪</i>

141
00:07:35,517 --> 00:07:36,602
Okay.

142
00:07:36,602 --> 00:07:39,104
<i>♪ Gonna pass Red Simpson
And his runaway truck... ♪</i>

143
00:07:39,104 --> 00:07:42,900
I just brought a couple pair of shoes
'cause that's all you really need.

144
00:07:42,900 --> 00:07:46,069
I got this deer hunter jacket,

145
00:07:47,779 --> 00:07:49,740
which I'll probably hardly wear.

146
00:07:50,449 --> 00:07:53,035
Sherlock Holmes costume.
I think I should bring it.

147
00:07:54,870 --> 00:07:56,997
I'm just worried this isn't gonna fit.

148
00:07:59,249 --> 00:08:00,167
[softly] Dang it.

149
00:08:00,167 --> 00:08:02,127
I have to leave the alto sax.

150
00:08:04,963 --> 00:08:06,798
[Harper] You gotta bring chairs
on a road trip.

151
00:08:06,798 --> 00:08:08,592
Gotta have chairs, a cooler.

152
00:08:08,592 --> 00:08:10,677
You never know when you're gonna stop

153
00:08:11,178 --> 00:08:13,680
and need to drink a cold Natty Light

154
00:08:14,848 --> 00:08:16,266
or whatever Will drinks.

155
00:08:16,266 --> 00:08:19,144
Some kind of craft beer.

156
00:08:19,144 --> 00:08:21,146
Probably tastes like an orange.

157
00:08:22,564 --> 00:08:23,815
[outgoing call tone]

158
00:08:29,863 --> 00:08:31,114
[both chuckle]

159
00:08:31,615 --> 00:08:32,449
<i>Harper.</i>

160
00:08:32,449 --> 00:08:33,575
Look at you.

161
00:08:34,326 --> 00:08:36,870
<i>- I'm stuck in Dallas right now.
-</i> [laughing]

162
00:08:36,870 --> 00:08:38,413
[Will laughs]

163
00:08:38,413 --> 00:08:39,748
<i>We got diverted</i>

164
00:08:39,748 --> 00:08:43,669
<i>'cause there was
a air pressure situation in the cabin.</i>

165
00:08:43,669 --> 00:08:45,462
<i>I incessantly rang my call button.</i>

166
00:08:45,462 --> 00:08:48,966
<i>- I said, "Do they need help up there?"</i>
- Right. Of course.

167
00:08:48,966 --> 00:08:50,759
<i>And they said, "Please, sir."</i>

168
00:08:50,759 --> 00:08:53,011
- [Harper chuckles] You're--
<i>-"Please relax."</i>

169
00:08:53,011 --> 00:08:54,471
<i>And I said, "</i> You <i>relax."</i>

170
00:08:54,471 --> 00:08:57,182
<i>So we actua--
We got thrown off the flight.</i>

171
00:08:57,182 --> 00:08:59,101
[both laughing]

172
00:09:00,102 --> 00:09:01,812
<i>You're picking me up, right?</i>

173
00:09:01,812 --> 00:09:04,398
- [Harper] Gonna pick you up in the city.
- <i>All right.</i>

174
00:09:04,398 --> 00:09:07,776
- Hey, I'll see you in New York, okay?
- <i>Okay. Bye-bye.</i>

175
00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:09,861
[adventurous music playing]

176
00:09:16,743 --> 00:09:18,120
[engine starts]

177
00:09:32,551 --> 00:09:35,470
[Harper] We have
16 days out there on the road.

178
00:09:35,470 --> 00:09:39,683
I'm sure a lot of things will come up,
but... it... it's weird.

179
00:09:39,683 --> 00:09:41,643
We are good friends. [chuckles]

180
00:09:42,394 --> 00:09:45,314
But are we?
Like, it's a weird thing to say.

181
00:09:46,189 --> 00:09:48,025
I was always Harper Steele.

182
00:09:48,025 --> 00:09:50,360
So Will was always
friends with Harper Steele.

183
00:09:50,902 --> 00:09:55,032
But there was this persona
that he was also friends with

184
00:09:55,032 --> 00:09:57,618
that I don't particularly like
or need right now.

185
00:09:57,618 --> 00:09:59,870
<i>Harper, I made it onto the flight.</i>

186
00:09:59,870 --> 00:10:01,121
<i>Um...</i> [clicks tongue]

187
00:10:01,663 --> 00:10:03,248
<i>All systems go.</i>

188
00:10:03,248 --> 00:10:07,002
[Will] So many of us don't know
what the rules of engagement are.

189
00:10:07,002 --> 00:10:10,631
And in terms of our friendship
and our relationship,

190
00:10:10,631 --> 00:10:12,841
it's... it's... it's uncharted waters.

191
00:10:13,884 --> 00:10:15,302
<i>I'll see you later. Bye.</i>

192
00:10:19,931 --> 00:10:22,517
[Harper] I don't know why
he picked some weird spot.

193
00:10:22,517 --> 00:10:25,979
Maybe it's just a celebrity thing.
He doesn't like to be out in the open.

194
00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:30,609
What the fuck? Oh my God.

195
00:10:32,194 --> 00:10:33,028
[Will] Yeah.

196
00:10:34,071 --> 00:10:35,238
You made it.

197
00:10:37,324 --> 00:10:39,868
- [car door closes]
- Thanks for picking me up.

198
00:10:39,868 --> 00:10:42,371
- [Harper] What is this?
- Yeah. Van Cortlandt.

199
00:10:42,371 --> 00:10:43,622
- Oh, that's--
- Remember?

200
00:10:43,622 --> 00:10:45,540
- [Harper] Oh, hey, old buddy.
- How are ya?

201
00:10:45,540 --> 00:10:46,500
I do remember.

202
00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:49,920
- Remember all our--
- Yeah, we golfed up here two times.

203
00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:51,922
I still have my... my card.

204
00:10:52,714 --> 00:10:54,424
My New York City golf permit.

205
00:10:54,424 --> 00:10:56,677
- [Harper] Wanna get in a round?
- Let's get in a round.

206
00:10:56,677 --> 00:10:58,720
- [Harper] Okay. Oh Jesus.
- [laughing]

207
00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:01,682
- You look great, by the way.
- [Harper] Oh, hey, thank you.

208
00:11:01,682 --> 00:11:02,933
I love your jacket.

209
00:11:02,933 --> 00:11:05,394
- I'm an expert packer.
- Oh yeah. That's--

210
00:11:05,394 --> 00:11:08,146
- There we go.
- Yeah, no. That'll stay.

211
00:11:08,146 --> 00:11:09,272
[both chuckling]

212
00:11:10,065 --> 00:11:11,733
I can't wait to get in this.

213
00:11:13,902 --> 00:11:15,320
How does this baby handle?

214
00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:17,030
- [Harper] Uh, shittily.
- [laughs]

215
00:11:18,031 --> 00:11:20,450
- [Harper] It handles shittily.
- Shag carpet everywhere.

216
00:11:20,450 --> 00:11:22,744
- [Harper] So comfortable.
- Oh, it's so luxurious.

217
00:11:22,744 --> 00:11:25,205
- [Harper] So luxurious. Let's go.
- All right, let's go.

218
00:11:25,205 --> 00:11:27,124
["Amoreena" by Elton John playing]

219
00:11:36,925 --> 00:11:40,554
I'd say we're gonna leave the city,
but I wanna have breakfast with my kids,

220
00:11:40,554 --> 00:11:42,723
and then we'll hit the road after that.

221
00:11:47,269 --> 00:11:51,231
[Will] I'm excited to see your kids again.
I haven't seen them in a long time.

222
00:11:51,231 --> 00:11:52,190
[E] Hey!

223
00:11:52,190 --> 00:11:53,483
- [Harper] Hey!
- [Will] Hi, guys.

224
00:11:53,483 --> 00:11:55,861
- [E] Good morning.
- [Will] Good morning.

225
00:11:55,861 --> 00:11:58,155
- [E] How you doing, buddy?
- Good to see ya.

226
00:11:58,155 --> 00:11:59,990
Emma, I haven't seen you...
When was the last...

227
00:11:59,990 --> 00:12:03,910
I saw you at <i>SNL</i> one time, I think,
like, maybe three or four...

228
00:12:04,453 --> 00:12:06,705
- Before the pandemic.
- [Will] I met you even before that.

229
00:12:06,705 --> 00:12:08,707
- You guys were all super little.
- [Emma] Yeah.

230
00:12:08,707 --> 00:12:11,752
And at one point,
you brought out a little tiny saxophone?

231
00:12:11,752 --> 00:12:12,669
- I did?
- Yeah.

232
00:12:13,170 --> 00:12:14,880
And you started doing a bit, like...

233
00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:16,923
[singing] <i>♪ Playing in a family band ♪</i>

234
00:12:16,923 --> 00:12:18,049
- Really?
- And then--

235
00:12:18,049 --> 00:12:21,553
- I didn't know you could play.
- [Will] Then I played a little instrument.

236
00:12:21,553 --> 00:12:25,766
And you two just stared at us like,
"This is not funny, nor is it good."

237
00:12:25,766 --> 00:12:28,059
[all laughing]

238
00:12:28,059 --> 00:12:30,270
- [Will] Now here's the dilemma.
- [Harper] Okay, uh-oh.

239
00:12:30,270 --> 00:12:31,855
- There's a Greek omelet.
- Yeah.

240
00:12:31,855 --> 00:12:33,523
And there's an Athenian omelet.

241
00:12:33,523 --> 00:12:35,025
- [Will] The--
- [giggling]

242
00:12:35,025 --> 00:12:37,277
- [server] Hello. Take your order?
- Hello.

243
00:12:37,277 --> 00:12:38,779
- Yes.
- [server] What shall I get you?

244
00:12:38,779 --> 00:12:42,157
- Okay.
- Do you have sis-- some tzatziki?

245
00:12:42,157 --> 00:12:44,075
- Yeah, we do.
- [Will] Oh!

246
00:12:44,075 --> 00:12:47,120
- It's a Greek diner.
- For the table. Tzatziki for the table.

247
00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:49,247
- [Harper] No--
- No, not for the table.

248
00:12:49,247 --> 00:12:51,708
- [server] Thank you so much.
- Thank you. Thank you.

249
00:12:52,501 --> 00:12:55,712
Um... uh... What... So...

250
00:12:56,588 --> 00:12:58,256
I wanna be clear.

251
00:12:58,924 --> 00:13:01,176
Harper, you still... Harper's still Dad.

252
00:13:01,802 --> 00:13:03,553
Harper's still Dad, still Pop.

253
00:13:03,553 --> 00:13:04,554
- [Will] Pop.
- Pop.

254
00:13:04,554 --> 00:13:06,139
But pronouns, she.

255
00:13:06,139 --> 00:13:07,474
- [E] She.
- [Emma] Yeah.

256
00:13:07,474 --> 00:13:10,727
Harper's still Dad because she said
she was Dad, you know?

257
00:13:10,727 --> 00:13:14,272
How... how did you give the news?
Did you guys all get together?

258
00:13:14,272 --> 00:13:15,565
- [Harper] No.
- No, email.

259
00:13:15,565 --> 00:13:16,858
- Just like you.
- Oh.

260
00:13:16,858 --> 00:13:19,277
I was at Popeyes.
I was picking up my biscuit.

261
00:13:19,277 --> 00:13:21,363
- [Will] Right.
- And I go, "Holy shit."

262
00:13:21,363 --> 00:13:23,406
- [Will] Holy shit.
-"I gotta pull over for this."

263
00:13:23,406 --> 00:13:27,577
[Emma] I mean, when the divorce happened,
we kind of knew a little bit.

264
00:13:27,577 --> 00:13:31,331
We got that note about... from Harper
about how we might find women's clothes.

265
00:13:31,331 --> 00:13:33,458
She was wearing women's clothes.
I was like, "Okay."

266
00:13:33,458 --> 00:13:38,630
And then after that, we got the full,
you know, "I'm using she/her pronouns."

267
00:13:38,630 --> 00:13:40,841
- [Will] Yeah.
- So it felt gradual to me.

268
00:13:40,841 --> 00:13:42,259
It didn't feel like a shock.

269
00:13:42,259 --> 00:13:44,094
For the most part,

270
00:13:44,094 --> 00:13:46,429
you guys just took it in stride.
Or was it--

271
00:13:46,429 --> 00:13:49,057
- It was easy to accept immediately.
- [Will] Right.

272
00:13:49,057 --> 00:13:50,684
But, um, for me,

273
00:13:50,684 --> 00:13:54,521
I think I had a moment of, like, um...

274
00:13:54,521 --> 00:13:57,482
My dad was
my only sort of masculine representation,

275
00:13:57,482 --> 00:13:59,901
and so I sort of idolized that
in a weird way.

276
00:13:59,901 --> 00:14:02,529
Still my dad, but I think, for me,

277
00:14:02,529 --> 00:14:05,490
the only thing I lost
was that masculine figure,

278
00:14:05,490 --> 00:14:07,367
but you don't really need it.

279
00:14:08,577 --> 00:14:10,662
- [server] Food is here!
- [Will] Gorgeous.

280
00:14:10,662 --> 00:14:12,622
- You're gonna love it.
- [Will] You called it.

281
00:14:12,622 --> 00:14:16,084
- [server] And tza-tza-tza-tza...
- Yes. Everyone, get your own.

282
00:14:16,084 --> 00:14:18,879
- Yes! Tza... Yeah, tza-tza-tza...
- [server] Tzatziki!

283
00:14:18,879 --> 00:14:20,297
[laughter]

284
00:14:20,297 --> 00:14:23,258
- [Will] Aah.
- [Harper] You guys know what we're doing?

285
00:14:23,758 --> 00:14:24,634
- Yeah.
- [Harper] Okay.

286
00:14:24,634 --> 00:14:27,637
Are you guys worried about me
on this trip at all?

287
00:14:28,305 --> 00:14:31,516
[child 1] I think I'm more worried
about your mental health.

288
00:14:31,516 --> 00:14:33,768
I'm more worried
about your physical safety.

289
00:14:33,768 --> 00:14:34,686
- [Harper] Yeah.
- Like...

290
00:14:34,686 --> 00:14:39,983
But also, the things you love scare me
sometimes. Being in the middle of nowhere.

291
00:14:39,983 --> 00:14:41,067
- Yeah.
- Especially--

292
00:14:41,067 --> 00:14:44,029
I'm actually learning to be
a little more afraid of that stuff.

293
00:14:44,029 --> 00:14:45,697
After this transition, it's scary.

294
00:14:45,697 --> 00:14:48,283
I'll be honest, I wrestle with, like,
"Why am I doing this?"

295
00:14:48,283 --> 00:14:50,744
And, um, at first, I was like,
"I'm not gonna do it."

296
00:14:50,744 --> 00:14:53,163
And then I just started to think about,

297
00:14:53,163 --> 00:14:57,042
like, well, coming out
was really hard for me,

298
00:14:57,042 --> 00:15:00,128
and, um, it may be... stupid,

299
00:15:00,128 --> 00:15:04,633
but I felt like that might be a good way
for me to come out more, basically.

300
00:15:04,633 --> 00:15:05,675
- Yeah.
- [Harper] Like...

301
00:15:05,675 --> 00:15:08,219
Does it help to know I take jujitsu?

302
00:15:09,930 --> 00:15:11,056
- Yeah.
- [Will] Twice a month.

303
00:15:11,056 --> 00:15:13,850
Could you demonstrate something
or send a video?

304
00:15:13,850 --> 00:15:15,644
'Cause I... I... I don't see it,

305
00:15:15,644 --> 00:15:18,104
but I could... I guess I could see it, but...

306
00:15:18,104 --> 00:15:21,399
I usually don't like to do my practice
on a full stomach.

307
00:15:21,399 --> 00:15:22,442
- Okay.
- [Will] Yeah.

308
00:15:22,442 --> 00:15:23,944
All right. Well...

309
00:15:23,944 --> 00:15:25,695
- Yeah. Uh...
- [laughter]

310
00:15:26,529 --> 00:15:28,406
Yeah, we gotta get going, but I really--

311
00:15:28,406 --> 00:15:30,367
I could talk to you guys
on the phone tomorrow.

312
00:15:30,367 --> 00:15:31,952
- Yeah, sure.
- All right, yeah.

313
00:15:32,535 --> 00:15:34,496
- [Emma] I love you.
- I love you. Bye.

314
00:15:34,496 --> 00:15:35,664
- I love you too.
- Hey.

315
00:15:36,164 --> 00:15:38,124
- I love you.
- I love you so much.

316
00:15:38,124 --> 00:15:40,168
[poignant piano music playing]

317
00:15:43,254 --> 00:15:46,633
- [Will] By the way, for the record...
- [Harper] Yeah, for the record.

318
00:15:46,633 --> 00:15:49,010
I'm very excited
to be on this trip with you.

319
00:15:49,511 --> 00:15:50,971
- Oh good. Yeah.
- Yeah.

320
00:15:53,515 --> 00:15:55,058
- [Will] Let me ask you this.
- Yeah.

321
00:15:55,058 --> 00:15:57,143
<i>Saturday Night Live.</i>

322
00:15:57,143 --> 00:15:58,353
- Oh yeah.
- Right?

323
00:15:58,353 --> 00:16:00,480
Back to where it all started,
where we first met.

324
00:16:01,231 --> 00:16:03,274
- Have you been back in the buil--
- No.

325
00:16:03,274 --> 00:16:04,317
Wow!

326
00:16:04,317 --> 00:16:08,488
By the way, when we see Lorne,
let's both hug him, like, way too long.

327
00:16:08,488 --> 00:16:09,531
[snickering]

328
00:16:09,531 --> 00:16:10,824
You can do that.

329
00:16:10,824 --> 00:16:13,451
- You can do it too.
- Okay, all right.

330
00:16:13,451 --> 00:16:15,662
[both] Oh!

331
00:16:15,662 --> 00:16:18,999
- [Will] Oh, NBC Studios. Here we are.
- Oh, look at this.

332
00:16:18,999 --> 00:16:20,625
Oh my goodness.

333
00:16:20,625 --> 00:16:22,377
["The Oogum Boogum Song" playing]

334
00:16:23,378 --> 00:16:25,463
- Enter if you dare.
- [chuckling]

335
00:16:25,463 --> 00:16:28,717
<i>♪ Boogum now, baby
You're casting your spell on me</i>... <i>♪</i>

336
00:16:30,593 --> 00:16:31,720
Bing!

337
00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:34,556
- Look at that fresh face.
- [Harper] Look at that handsome young--

338
00:16:34,556 --> 00:16:35,765
[Will] Yeah, what happened?

339
00:16:35,765 --> 00:16:38,560
- One of the great Harper Steele creations.
- Mm.

340
00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:41,354
- [Will] "Oops, I Crapped My Pants."
- Oh shit.

341
00:16:42,230 --> 00:16:43,773
[indistinct chattering]

342
00:16:43,773 --> 00:16:46,109
[Harper] We're gonna do this.
We'll do this.

343
00:16:46,109 --> 00:16:47,110
Yeah.

344
00:16:47,777 --> 00:16:50,405
- Okay, we're gonna do a group hug.
- [man] Okay, sure.

345
00:16:50,405 --> 00:16:53,700
<i>- ♪ ...that I am crazy 'bout you? ♪</i>
- [indistinct chattering]

346
00:16:53,700 --> 00:16:55,785
[both chuckling]

347
00:16:55,785 --> 00:16:58,580
<i>♪ Now go on now with your bad self... ♪</i>

348
00:16:59,622 --> 00:17:02,751
[Harper] My office was right down there
when I had the windows.

349
00:17:02,751 --> 00:17:05,295
And all the girls, Maya and Amy,

350
00:17:05,295 --> 00:17:06,212
were in here.

351
00:17:08,173 --> 00:17:10,633
<i>♪ Now mercy, mercy on me, all right... ♪</i>

352
00:17:10,633 --> 00:17:12,594
[Harper] Yeah, this was a terrifying room.

353
00:17:12,594 --> 00:17:16,765
Although I guess if you were in here
between dress and air as a writer,

354
00:17:16,765 --> 00:17:20,226
this was... actually meant
that your sketch got on, so...

355
00:17:21,478 --> 00:17:23,480
- [Will] Right.
- So that was a good thing.

356
00:17:24,981 --> 00:17:26,066
{\an8}I'm Will Ferrell,

357
00:17:26,066 --> 00:17:31,071
{\an8}and, uh, this will be, uh, the voice
of the Chicago Cubs, Mr. Harry Caray.

358
00:17:31,613 --> 00:17:34,616
{\an8}[Harper] That first week,
we went downstairs to lunch.

359
00:17:35,658 --> 00:17:38,495
And there was
just something about the two of us

360
00:17:38,495 --> 00:17:41,164
where we were
kind of on the same wavelength

361
00:17:41,164 --> 00:17:42,707
in a lot of different ways--

362
00:17:42,707 --> 00:17:45,877
[Will] I do remember
I was trying to get to know everyone.

363
00:17:45,877 --> 00:17:48,713
And there was a group of people
looking at me or like,

364
00:17:48,713 --> 00:17:51,841
"We don't get what this guy does.
He doesn't seem that funny."

365
00:17:51,841 --> 00:17:54,385
[Harper] They all thought
Will Ferrell was a dud.

366
00:17:54,886 --> 00:17:56,679
[chuckling] But, you know, I just...

367
00:17:56,679 --> 00:17:58,723
I knew that Will was not the dud.

368
00:17:59,224 --> 00:18:01,684
[Will] You were just an ambassador for me

369
00:18:01,684 --> 00:18:05,063
to be like, "No, don't write him off.
He's actually really funny."

370
00:18:06,272 --> 00:18:07,649
[Paula Pell] Last read-through.

371
00:18:07,649 --> 00:18:09,901
Lots of food, lots of scripts.

372
00:18:09,901 --> 00:18:11,444
[Harper] We've been around each other

373
00:18:11,444 --> 00:18:13,947
in a lot of circumstances
that are very strange.

374
00:18:13,947 --> 00:18:16,407
My whole writing career,
my whole creative life,

375
00:18:16,908 --> 00:18:21,037
I performed as a character named Andrew.
That's the way I think about it, at least.

376
00:18:22,163 --> 00:18:26,626
And so coming out to my friends
was especially hard.

377
00:18:27,877 --> 00:18:31,673
And I really can't tell
if they think I'm Harper.

378
00:18:31,673 --> 00:18:34,968
I think they might think
that I'm still Andrew,

379
00:18:34,968 --> 00:18:36,344
and now I wear dresses.

380
00:18:38,221 --> 00:18:40,557
- Tina! Oh my goodness. Thank you.
- [Will] Yay!

381
00:18:40,557 --> 00:18:42,016
- [Tina] Nice to see you!
- Oh my God.

382
00:18:42,016 --> 00:18:43,726
- Hey.
- Hey!

383
00:18:43,726 --> 00:18:46,229
[excited cheering, laughter]

384
00:18:46,229 --> 00:18:48,648
[laughter]

385
00:18:48,648 --> 00:18:51,401
[Harper] Uh, thank you,
everyone, for coming.

386
00:18:51,401 --> 00:18:53,695
This is very heartening for me. I...

387
00:18:53,695 --> 00:18:57,073
When I came out,
all of you responded. Everyone--

388
00:18:57,073 --> 00:18:59,284
- Tim was a little negative. But--
- [laughter]

389
00:18:59,284 --> 00:19:01,286
I thought she was joking at first.

390
00:19:01,286 --> 00:19:05,081
- [Harper] I fucking... I love him.
-"She's joking. This is not fucking real."

391
00:19:05,081 --> 00:19:08,960
I'm gonna send
the most racist, sexist jokes back to her

392
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:10,211
and see what she says.

393
00:19:10,211 --> 00:19:11,379
[laughter]

394
00:19:11,379 --> 00:19:12,714
- Hey, cheers.
- [Will] Yes.

395
00:19:12,714 --> 00:19:14,632
- Here's to Harper!
- [Harper] Thank you!

396
00:19:14,632 --> 00:19:15,800
Thank... thank you.

397
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:19,679
So you... you're driving.
You're driving for how long, where?

398
00:19:19,679 --> 00:19:22,098
Okay, we're gonna drive down to D.C.,

399
00:19:22,098 --> 00:19:24,893
and then
we're gonna cut down to Indianapolis.

400
00:19:24,893 --> 00:19:27,729
- We're gonna go see a Pacers game.
- [Tina] Wow.

401
00:19:27,729 --> 00:19:30,231
Then we're gonna go to Iowa City,

402
00:19:30,231 --> 00:19:31,816
where I was raised.

403
00:19:31,816 --> 00:19:33,151
Do you have family there?

404
00:19:33,151 --> 00:19:35,486
[Harper] My sister.
We're gonna walk through the old house.

405
00:19:35,486 --> 00:19:36,738
And then...

406
00:19:36,738 --> 00:19:37,780
Oklahoma, maybe?

407
00:19:37,780 --> 00:19:40,158
[Harper] We're going to
the stock car race in Oklahoma.

408
00:19:40,158 --> 00:19:43,620
[Paula] What are you most
looking forward to on this trip?

409
00:19:43,620 --> 00:19:44,787
[Harper] Here's the thing.

410
00:19:44,787 --> 00:19:47,040
- Will proposed the idea...
- [Will] Yeah.

411
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:50,335
...knowing that my transition might change

412
00:19:50,335 --> 00:19:52,837
the way I navigate the country,
which is true.

413
00:19:52,837 --> 00:19:54,923
- [Will] That is true.
- Absolutely true.

414
00:19:54,923 --> 00:19:57,008
- I fear it. I do fear it.
- [Tina] Sure.

415
00:19:57,008 --> 00:20:00,386
Um, Will knows that I like shitty bars,
I like truck stops.

416
00:20:00,386 --> 00:20:03,056
- I like the lowest, worst places.
- [Tina] Mm-hmm.

417
00:20:03,056 --> 00:20:04,224
Yes!

418
00:20:04,766 --> 00:20:07,852
I walked down an alley
a couple... a couple weeks ago,

419
00:20:07,852 --> 00:20:10,438
and I was like, "Nope, I don't like this."

420
00:20:10,438 --> 00:20:12,482
- [Will] Don't do that...
- Not safe for you anymore.

421
00:20:12,482 --> 00:20:15,443
- [Harper] Yeah.
- When is it safe to walk down an alley?

422
00:20:15,443 --> 00:20:16,903
[all laughing]

423
00:20:16,903 --> 00:20:21,241
No one's ever asked a you
for the list of your places.

424
00:20:21,241 --> 00:20:23,618
If anyone goes somewhere
where you've been,

425
00:20:23,618 --> 00:20:25,411
no one said, "Ooh, I'd love your list."

426
00:20:25,411 --> 00:20:29,332
"What corners have
the best dumpsters of found furniture?"

427
00:20:29,332 --> 00:20:31,251
- And I have that list.
- [laughter]

428
00:20:31,251 --> 00:20:32,794
Will will be in the car.

429
00:20:32,794 --> 00:20:35,505
I'm a narcoleptic,
and I'm not a good driver.

430
00:20:35,505 --> 00:20:36,923
[laughter]

431
00:20:36,923 --> 00:20:38,716
["Long Road Ahead" by Jim Ford playing]

432
00:20:38,716 --> 00:20:40,426
<i>♪ Say look-a-here, mister ♪</i>

433
00:20:43,513 --> 00:20:47,392
<i>♪ I need a place to stay tonight... ♪</i>

434
00:20:47,392 --> 00:20:50,812
- [inaudible]
<i>- ♪ A hotel room is fine</i>... <i>♪</i>

435
00:20:51,354 --> 00:20:53,147
- [Will] How are you feeling?
- [Harper] Good.

436
00:20:53,147 --> 00:20:56,401
[Will] All right, fine.
Well, there's no turning back now, so...

437
00:20:56,401 --> 00:20:58,945
- [Harper] Oh, okay. Oh jeez.
- [both chuckle]

438
00:20:58,945 --> 00:21:01,030
<i>♪ I'm only passing through, mister ♪</i>

439
00:21:01,030 --> 00:21:03,491
<i>♪ There's a long road ahead ♪</i>

440
00:21:05,118 --> 00:21:07,829
<i>♪ I got a lot to leave behind ♪</i>

441
00:21:09,205 --> 00:21:11,708
<i>♪ That's the gospel truth, mister... ♪</i>

442
00:21:12,500 --> 00:21:15,420
- [Will] Okay, so here's a question.
- [Harper] Okay. Oh, okay.

443
00:21:15,420 --> 00:21:18,298
[Will] I'm curious
how you settled on your name.

444
00:21:18,298 --> 00:21:20,341
Yeah. So my dead name's Andrew.

445
00:21:20,341 --> 00:21:21,926
- I was Andrew, you know.
- Yeah.

446
00:21:21,926 --> 00:21:22,844
Um...

447
00:21:24,012 --> 00:21:29,017
And... So my first impulse
was to make it easy on everyone else.

448
00:21:31,144 --> 00:21:32,228
You know? Like, this...

449
00:21:32,228 --> 00:21:36,316
I'm... I'm... I'm like, "Hey, I'm... Hey,
there's nothing weird going on over here."

450
00:21:36,316 --> 00:21:38,359
-"So I'm just changing--"
-"Nothing to see."

451
00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:41,112
"Nothing to see.
I'm just gonna change Andrew to Angie."

452
00:21:41,112 --> 00:21:42,905
-"You guys, that's pretty easy."
- Yeah.

453
00:21:42,905 --> 00:21:47,035
And then I was driving down
to my first electrolysis thing,

454
00:21:47,035 --> 00:21:49,287
and I was saying the name in my head,

455
00:21:49,287 --> 00:21:51,789
and it just sounded like
wet cardboard to me.

456
00:21:51,789 --> 00:21:54,834
- Yeah.
- It sounded like, "Ugh. This is wrong."

457
00:21:54,834 --> 00:21:59,213
So I started trying to,
like, imagine other names.

458
00:21:59,213 --> 00:22:02,884
Like, I mean, I was thinking Chandelier.

459
00:22:02,884 --> 00:22:04,010
[laughing]

460
00:22:04,010 --> 00:22:07,055
And then I go,
"Harper. You love the name Harper."

461
00:22:07,055 --> 00:22:11,976
My mother went to school with Harper Lee,

462
00:22:11,976 --> 00:22:15,355
the person, the woman
who wrote <i>To Kill a Mockingbird.</i>

463
00:22:15,355 --> 00:22:18,941
- [Will] Right.
- When I said it, my whole body felt warm.

464
00:22:18,941 --> 00:22:20,526
- Wow.
- And I was like--

465
00:22:20,526 --> 00:22:24,322
- You literally had a visceral reaction.
- I did. I said it out loud.

466
00:22:24,322 --> 00:22:26,616
I was saying them out loud.
I said, "Harper."

467
00:22:26,616 --> 00:22:30,578
And I was like, "Ooh, wow. That...
That's it. That's what it's gonna be."

468
00:22:30,578 --> 00:22:31,829
- Gosh.
- And that was it.

469
00:22:32,789 --> 00:22:35,083
Yeah, if you had to change your name,
what would you do?

470
00:22:35,583 --> 00:22:37,835
[Will] I hated my name growing up.

471
00:22:37,835 --> 00:22:39,796
My real name is John William.

472
00:22:41,047 --> 00:22:44,133
- But my folks called me Will.
- Yeah.

473
00:22:44,133 --> 00:22:45,718
And I remember in first grade,

474
00:22:45,718 --> 00:22:50,431
there were six or seven kids
who either had the name Mike or Steve.

475
00:22:50,431 --> 00:22:51,349
Oh, okay.

476
00:22:51,349 --> 00:22:52,934
And I just was like, "Please."

477
00:22:52,934 --> 00:22:55,520
-"Why can't I be a Mike or a Steve?"
-"Or a Steve."

478
00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:59,023
- Those names were cool and tough.
-"Why do I have this weird name?"

479
00:22:59,023 --> 00:23:01,234
- And hard. Yeah. I would--
- Like Steve.

480
00:23:01,234 --> 00:23:02,318
"What's up, Steve?"

481
00:23:02,318 --> 00:23:03,444
- Yeah.
- And Mike.

482
00:23:03,945 --> 00:23:05,863
[upbeat music playing]

483
00:23:06,364 --> 00:23:08,741
[Will] I'm gonna take this time
to thank you

484
00:23:08,741 --> 00:23:11,828
for letting us visit the nation's capital.

485
00:23:12,453 --> 00:23:14,038
One of my favorite cities.

486
00:23:14,539 --> 00:23:18,042
- [Harper] I'm not a big D.C. person.
- Oh, you don't love American history?

487
00:23:18,042 --> 00:23:20,586
[Harper] Oh shit. Come on.

488
00:23:20,586 --> 00:23:24,132
- I just think D.C. is a little boring.
- [Will] We're gonna change that.

489
00:23:25,216 --> 00:23:27,677
I wanna show you
something that's very special.

490
00:23:27,677 --> 00:23:28,594
[Harper] Okay.

491
00:23:29,262 --> 00:23:32,056
- It's right here.
- [Harper] Uh-huh. Parking lot?

492
00:23:32,056 --> 00:23:33,349
[Will] The reflecting pool.

493
00:23:33,349 --> 00:23:36,060
- [Harper] Oh, there's no water in it.
- There's some water.

494
00:23:37,103 --> 00:23:38,187
Right down here.

495
00:23:39,355 --> 00:23:41,107
Magnificent, right?

496
00:23:43,568 --> 00:23:44,652
Ooh, I'm nervous.

497
00:23:44,652 --> 00:23:45,903
[Harper] Yeah, me too.

498
00:23:45,903 --> 00:23:49,282
The next 15 minutes, we could be
talking with President Joe Biden.

499
00:23:50,366 --> 00:23:52,910
- How do you think we're getting in there?
- 'Cause of this.

500
00:23:53,453 --> 00:23:54,454
- The moneymaker.
- Yeah.

501
00:23:54,454 --> 00:23:57,832
Is the president in there?
We just wanna say hi to the president.

502
00:23:57,832 --> 00:23:59,375
Hey! Joe!

503
00:24:00,001 --> 00:24:01,252
No, no, he's not there.

504
00:24:01,836 --> 00:24:03,796
["Wires" continues playing]

505
00:24:05,882 --> 00:24:08,384
[Harper] You know, for years,
I crossed this country in a dress,

506
00:24:08,384 --> 00:24:09,927
but I never let anyone see me.

507
00:24:11,137 --> 00:24:12,930
So if I had to get out and get gas,

508
00:24:12,930 --> 00:24:16,350
there's this furtive,
and embarrassing, and hurried attempt

509
00:24:16,350 --> 00:24:18,186
to throw on
a pair of overalls or something.

510
00:24:18,186 --> 00:24:20,521
- And look like a guy and--
- [Will] Yeah.

511
00:24:20,521 --> 00:24:23,483
[Harper] I used to bring
an emergency set of clothes with me.

512
00:24:23,483 --> 00:24:26,819
The fear of having a cop pull me over
for a speeding ticket...

513
00:24:26,819 --> 00:24:27,737
[siren wails]

514
00:24:27,737 --> 00:24:29,071
...and be dressed as a woman was...

515
00:24:29,071 --> 00:24:30,490
- It was horrible.
- [Will] Right.

516
00:24:30,490 --> 00:24:31,782
[Harper] Now... [chuckles]

517
00:24:31,782 --> 00:24:33,993
...going out into the world just as me,

518
00:24:33,993 --> 00:24:38,289
without any chance
of going stealth as Andrew again,

519
00:24:38,915 --> 00:24:43,336
I will see the country that I love
as myself, which I've never done.

520
00:24:43,336 --> 00:24:45,588
[poignant music playing]

521
00:24:51,802 --> 00:24:55,806
If you don't mind, I'm gonna take a second
here to look through some old journals.

522
00:24:55,806 --> 00:24:56,933
Okay.

523
00:24:59,060 --> 00:25:00,728
Whoa, look at your journals.

524
00:25:01,896 --> 00:25:03,773
When did you start journaling?

525
00:25:03,773 --> 00:25:07,985
It wasn't till I felt
my life was kind of falling apart.

526
00:25:07,985 --> 00:25:12,198
And this one, uh,
it's called "Journal Number One."

527
00:25:12,198 --> 00:25:15,576
It's called
"Unmentionables and Other Private Stuff."

528
00:25:17,078 --> 00:25:19,413
[Will] Why did you type it
instead of longhand?

529
00:25:19,413 --> 00:25:23,084
[Harper] I did it
because I wanted to just put it down.

530
00:25:23,084 --> 00:25:25,378
- Bad writing and all. Mistakes.
- [Will] Yeah.

531
00:25:25,378 --> 00:25:27,505
- Run-ons.
- [Harper] All kinds of mistakes, yeah.

532
00:25:27,505 --> 00:25:32,468
- [Will] Stream of consciousness, yeah.
- This one's about my therapist.

533
00:25:33,803 --> 00:25:36,222
"My therapist today
batted down my silly notion

534
00:25:36,222 --> 00:25:38,432
that I might be a girl instead of a boy."

535
00:25:38,432 --> 00:25:40,351
- [Will] Wow.
-"She's not buying it."

536
00:25:40,351 --> 00:25:42,853
"At one point,
she said I was living in fantasy."

537
00:25:42,853 --> 00:25:43,771
[Will] Wow.

538
00:25:43,771 --> 00:25:46,691
[Harper] "The weird feelings
of sickness and dread I described to her

539
00:25:46,691 --> 00:25:50,111
while I'm dressed in my male clothes
didn't make any sense to her."

540
00:25:50,611 --> 00:25:53,990
"She needed me to describe the feelings
to her, which I couldn't."

541
00:25:53,990 --> 00:25:56,284
"She seemed to think
dressing up like a woman

542
00:25:56,284 --> 00:25:59,203
has a lot of defiance and anger in it."

543
00:25:59,203 --> 00:26:00,746
"She's got a theory."

544
00:26:00,746 --> 00:26:03,499
"I, on the other hand,
am losing faith in theories."

545
00:26:04,542 --> 00:26:08,212
- Let's see. That's seven years ago.
- [Will] Wow.

546
00:26:13,467 --> 00:26:15,386
[poignant music fades]

547
00:26:15,386 --> 00:26:18,222
- [Harper] I'll get snacks. You get chairs.
- All righty.

548
00:26:18,931 --> 00:26:20,516
[distant quacking]

549
00:26:22,852 --> 00:26:25,688
[quacking, squawking]

550
00:26:33,446 --> 00:26:35,072
[Will] You got us a lot of stuff.

551
00:26:35,072 --> 00:26:37,950
Well, we're on the road, buddy.
Pringles. You like Pringles?

552
00:26:37,950 --> 00:26:41,120
- I do. I love Pringles.
- I didn't know which Pringles you liked.

553
00:26:41,120 --> 00:26:43,331
You ready for this one? Fuego.

554
00:26:43,331 --> 00:26:44,457
[snickering] Okay.

555
00:26:44,457 --> 00:26:45,541
[both chuckling]

556
00:26:45,541 --> 00:26:49,754
- I am not having Fuego Pringles.
- Yeah, you are. Yeah. Yeah, you are.

557
00:26:49,754 --> 00:26:51,589
Oh, Scorchin' BBQ.

558
00:26:51,589 --> 00:26:52,840
[both chuckling]

559
00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:56,177
- Oh, part of the Scorchin' line.
- That's-- Oh yeah. The whole Sco--

560
00:26:56,177 --> 00:26:58,471
- [Will] We've gotta ration these.
- [both laugh]

561
00:26:58,471 --> 00:27:00,640
'Cause we may never
run into another Walmart.

562
00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:02,933
[Will] 'Cause in case
we have a... a flat tire,

563
00:27:02,933 --> 00:27:04,018
we gotta ration.

564
00:27:04,018 --> 00:27:05,353
[Harper] Yeah, exactly.

565
00:27:07,396 --> 00:27:10,483
Uh, I was gonna ask you
'cause I was thinking about it. Um...

566
00:27:11,233 --> 00:27:16,739
Were you a little worried about
how to talk to me when I came out to you?

567
00:27:20,409 --> 00:27:24,038
Sometimes, I think
that... people who aren't trans,

568
00:27:24,038 --> 00:27:27,500
I think they're sometimes afraid
to say the wrong thing around me.

569
00:27:27,500 --> 00:27:29,502
- That's what I'm getting at.
- [Will] Yeah.

570
00:27:29,502 --> 00:27:31,796
And I didn't know when I first saw you,

571
00:27:31,796 --> 00:27:35,341
and I was just curious
if there was anything there that--

572
00:27:35,341 --> 00:27:37,468
I probably was...

573
00:27:40,721 --> 00:27:41,681
um...

574
00:27:42,973 --> 00:27:45,601
- Yeah, probably a little nervous.
- [Harper] Okay.

575
00:27:45,601 --> 00:27:47,728
- [Will] In the sense--
- I mean, I was nervous.

576
00:27:48,813 --> 00:27:50,314
- I'm in a dress.
- Yes.

577
00:27:50,314 --> 00:27:51,982
It's like... That was terrifying.

578
00:27:51,982 --> 00:27:57,863
Yeah, I... I... I guess I was...
I was worried about what... If there...

579
00:27:57,863 --> 00:27:59,699
What the new ground rules were.

580
00:27:59,699 --> 00:28:02,410
- [Harper] Okay, yeah.
- If there were any.

581
00:28:02,410 --> 00:28:06,080
- [Harper] Yeah.
- Uh, if it was... um...

582
00:28:08,541 --> 00:28:09,375
You know.

583
00:28:11,085 --> 00:28:15,548
Yeah, just how much
had quote/unquote changed,

584
00:28:15,548 --> 00:28:17,842
or was the same or what, you know.

585
00:28:17,842 --> 00:28:20,803
[Harper] Yeah, that's a difficult one,
the changing and the sameness and--

586
00:28:20,803 --> 00:28:23,055
There are no ground rules with friends,
I'm telling you.

587
00:28:23,055 --> 00:28:24,390
That's what I need you to know.

588
00:28:24,390 --> 00:28:25,808
- But that's what--
- Yeah.

589
00:28:25,808 --> 00:28:29,520
- You immediately put me at ease.
- Yeah.

590
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:33,524
Yeah, I don't... Well, 'cause I...
'cause I know there's no ill intention.

591
00:28:33,524 --> 00:28:37,027
So whatever you say,
I could not possibly be angry.

592
00:28:37,653 --> 00:28:39,196
- Yeah.
- [Harper] Um...

593
00:28:40,698 --> 00:28:43,075
What else did I get here, buddy?
I got more Pringles.

594
00:28:43,075 --> 00:28:44,660
Philly Cheesesteak.

595
00:28:44,660 --> 00:28:45,745
[Will chuckles]

596
00:28:45,745 --> 00:28:49,165
- [man] Man! You're the man!
- [Harper] What about the woman?

597
00:28:49,165 --> 00:28:50,499
What about the woman?

598
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:53,836
- You're still the woman.
- [Will] Yes! Still the woman! Yeah!

599
00:28:53,836 --> 00:28:55,379
- [man] Whoo!
- Whoo!

600
00:28:55,379 --> 00:28:58,174
- [man laughs]
- ["Wildflowers" by Tom Petty playing]

601
00:28:58,174 --> 00:28:59,508
[engine starts]

602
00:28:59,508 --> 00:29:01,469
[Harper] Oh, there she goes. Gah!

603
00:29:01,469 --> 00:29:04,972
- [Will chuckles] She's back in business.
- Back in business, oh yeah.

604
00:29:07,433 --> 00:29:08,434
Is there some reason

605
00:29:08,434 --> 00:29:11,020
why we're not stopping
at greasy diners every morning?

606
00:29:11,020 --> 00:29:14,607
- [Will] I don't know.
- It's my favorite kind of restaurant.

607
00:29:15,483 --> 00:29:18,444
The mecca. We are in the mecca.

608
00:29:19,862 --> 00:29:20,696
Hey there.

609
00:29:21,197 --> 00:29:24,116
- [Will] Hi, how are you? Thank you.
- [server] Sit wherever you like.

610
00:29:24,825 --> 00:29:26,243
[Will] Kimberly, you like it all?

611
00:29:26,243 --> 00:29:29,163
- Our best one is, we got the All-Star.
- Yeah.

612
00:29:29,163 --> 00:29:32,124
- Done deal. That's what I'm getting.
- Two eggs, wheat, white, raisin toast.

613
00:29:32,124 --> 00:29:35,628
Bacon, ham, or sausage.
You get a waffle or a biscuit and gravy.

614
00:29:35,628 --> 00:29:36,962
- Two of those.
- Absolutely.

615
00:29:36,962 --> 00:29:38,714
- Wait.
- No, no, no, no, I'm just kidding.

616
00:29:39,548 --> 00:29:40,883
And how about you, sir?

617
00:29:41,884 --> 00:29:42,760
- Ma'am.
- Ma'am.

618
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:45,095
- [Kimberly] Ma'am. I am so sorry.
- That's okay.

619
00:29:45,095 --> 00:29:48,974
Ah, but that's quite all right.
I'm gonna get the, um, All-Star Special.

620
00:29:48,974 --> 00:29:51,769
All right. Thank you very much.
And I'll take your menus.

621
00:29:51,769 --> 00:29:52,978
- You're welcome.
- Great.

622
00:29:52,978 --> 00:29:53,896
[Kimberly] Yeah.

623
00:29:55,147 --> 00:29:56,273
I have an order.

624
00:29:56,273 --> 00:30:00,319
I don't like being misgendered that much,
but what can I do, pal?

625
00:30:01,445 --> 00:30:04,281
- It's, uh...
- [Harper] You know what?

626
00:30:04,281 --> 00:30:05,616
It's gonna ha-- I mean--

627
00:30:05,616 --> 00:30:08,077
It is gonna happen.
You know what you should do?

628
00:30:08,077 --> 00:30:11,413
You should go, "What do you want,
little lady who's a woman?"

629
00:30:11,413 --> 00:30:14,625
- Huh. "And for the little lady."
- [Harper] "Now for the little lady--"

630
00:30:14,625 --> 00:30:16,377
- You don't have to.
- The little lady.

631
00:30:16,377 --> 00:30:19,004
- [Kimberly] Who has wheat?
- Uh, I got the white.

632
00:30:19,004 --> 00:30:21,006
- I got the wheat.
- Wheat? There you go.

633
00:30:22,007 --> 00:30:25,261
You excited for the game tonight,
by the way?

634
00:30:25,761 --> 00:30:28,013
I'm excited. But I'll be honest.

635
00:30:28,013 --> 00:30:31,809
Walking through all those bros
in a bro-ey environment

636
00:30:31,809 --> 00:30:34,395
has been my hardest part of my--

637
00:30:34,395 --> 00:30:37,189
- Right.
- My, um, transition.

638
00:30:37,189 --> 00:30:39,567
I was that person.
I went to basketball games.

639
00:30:39,567 --> 00:30:41,485
- I know... I know the culture.
- Right.

640
00:30:41,485 --> 00:30:43,237
And I'm gonna go back in that culture,

641
00:30:43,237 --> 00:30:46,866
and there's a lot of that still in me
that does not like what's happening.

642
00:30:46,866 --> 00:30:50,286
- [Will] Yeah.
- And I'm not totally comfortable with it.

643
00:30:50,286 --> 00:30:51,829
[suspenseful music playing]

644
00:30:51,829 --> 00:30:53,581
- [Will] Here we go.
- Here we go.

645
00:30:53,581 --> 00:30:56,625
[Harper] When I walk
into that basketball stadium...

646
00:30:56,625 --> 00:30:59,003
- You look fantastic.
- [Harper] Oh, thank you.

647
00:30:59,003 --> 00:31:01,213
- [Will] I love the jacket.
- I worked on it.

648
00:31:01,213 --> 00:31:04,758
...I am a woman,
and that's how I need to be seen.

649
00:31:04,758 --> 00:31:08,554
But I'm not sure...
It's just they may not see me that way.

650
00:31:09,054 --> 00:31:10,472
This is an odd thing to say.

651
00:31:10,472 --> 00:31:12,641
- I may not see myself that way.
- Mm-hmm.

652
00:31:12,641 --> 00:31:14,310
[Harper] But you sort of running point

653
00:31:14,310 --> 00:31:17,438
makes this a fuck of a lot easier
than if I was just alone,

654
00:31:17,438 --> 00:31:20,107
and I gotta keep that in mind
throughout this trip.

655
00:31:20,107 --> 00:31:23,485
'Cause, obviously,
I'm getting a little free pass here,

656
00:31:23,485 --> 00:31:25,905
but I'm not saying
it's not gonna be difficult.

657
00:31:25,905 --> 00:31:27,948
[suspenseful music continues]

658
00:31:33,996 --> 00:31:38,167
[Harper] I gotta tell you,
we've been to a lot of Laker games.

659
00:31:38,167 --> 00:31:39,084
[Will] Yeah.

660
00:31:39,084 --> 00:31:43,005
[Harper] I've never seen Jack Nicholson,
I've never seen Leonardo DiCaprio,

661
00:31:43,005 --> 00:31:45,925
I've never seen Vince Vaughn
at a basketball game

662
00:31:45,925 --> 00:31:47,760
sitting next to their trans friend.

663
00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:50,804
- [Will] Right.
- [Harper] I've just never seen it myself.

664
00:31:51,430 --> 00:31:53,474
[buzzer sounds]

665
00:31:56,685 --> 00:31:57,561
[player 1] Yo!

666
00:31:58,604 --> 00:32:02,274
It's so complicated
because I used sports all the time

667
00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:07,655
to let people know that I was not a woman.

668
00:32:08,656 --> 00:32:13,619
I mean, not that women can't like sports,
but I was trying to... you know...

669
00:32:14,286 --> 00:32:17,164
- Yeah, try-- You were always-- Yeah.
- I was trying to be that guy.

670
00:32:17,164 --> 00:32:19,166
[Harper] By doing that all the time,

671
00:32:19,166 --> 00:32:21,585
I did learn a lot about sports,

672
00:32:21,585 --> 00:32:24,046
and I do kind of like it. [chuckles]

673
00:32:25,381 --> 00:32:27,007
[buzzer sounds]

674
00:32:27,007 --> 00:32:28,717
- [Will] Oh!
- [cheering]

675
00:32:28,717 --> 00:32:30,219
- Yeah!
- Yes!

676
00:32:31,136 --> 00:32:32,304
Wow.

677
00:32:32,304 --> 00:32:35,265
[announcer] <i>All right, Pacer fans,
I need you to cheer.</i>

678
00:32:35,265 --> 00:32:37,142
<i>- I got a special guest.</i>
- [cheering]

679
00:32:37,643 --> 00:32:40,145
Let me hear you, Pacer fans!

680
00:32:40,145 --> 00:32:41,897
[cheering, whistling]

681
00:32:41,897 --> 00:32:43,691
What do we think of the Sixers?

682
00:32:43,691 --> 00:32:45,234
[Pacer fans booing]

683
00:32:45,234 --> 00:32:47,194
What do we think of the Pacers?

684
00:32:47,194 --> 00:32:48,362
[Pacer fans cheering]

685
00:32:48,362 --> 00:32:50,531
- Sixers!
- [Pacer fans booing]

686
00:32:50,531 --> 00:32:54,159
- Pacers!
- [Pacer fans cheering, whistling]

687
00:32:54,159 --> 00:32:57,621
I wanna thank you, Indianapolis.
I'm here with my friend Harper Steele.

688
00:32:57,621 --> 00:32:59,707
- She just transitioned.
- Wait, we're off. We're off.

689
00:32:59,707 --> 00:33:01,792
- [woman shouting indistinctly]
- [Harper] We're off.

690
00:33:01,792 --> 00:33:04,253
Indy, you've showed us nothing but love.

691
00:33:04,253 --> 00:33:06,505
- [chuckles] We're off.
- Thank you!

692
00:33:06,505 --> 00:33:07,798
[man] Woo-hoo!

693
00:33:08,966 --> 00:33:11,343
[commentator 1]
<i>Great to see Will Ferrell here.</i>

694
00:33:11,885 --> 00:33:13,220
<i>Uh, there's the governor.</i>

695
00:33:13,220 --> 00:33:16,056
[commentator 2] <i>Just over there,
kinda trying to get him off the court</i>

696
00:33:16,056 --> 00:33:17,683
<i>so we can start the game.</i>

697
00:33:18,726 --> 00:33:22,229
So you're working your way across
the country? How do you end up here?

698
00:33:22,229 --> 00:33:24,898
[Will] Harper and I
have known each other for 30 years,

699
00:33:24,898 --> 00:33:28,152
and we're, uh,
we're going across the country.

700
00:33:28,819 --> 00:33:32,197
- To basketball field houses or anything?
- No, this was just--

701
00:33:32,781 --> 00:33:35,826
This is our first
professional sporting event

702
00:33:35,826 --> 00:33:37,453
since Harper's transition.

703
00:33:37,453 --> 00:33:41,248
So the Pacers were nice enough
to allow us access.

704
00:33:41,248 --> 00:33:44,293
[commentator 1] <i>Pacers have the ball
to start the quarter up one.</i>

705
00:33:47,171 --> 00:33:49,923
- [fans whistling, cheering]
- [man] Oh man, it's started.

706
00:33:50,424 --> 00:33:52,843
Wait, was that the governor of this state?

707
00:33:52,843 --> 00:33:53,761
Mm-hmm.

708
00:33:57,139 --> 00:33:58,307
What's his name?

709
00:34:01,685 --> 00:34:02,603
Eric Holcomb.

710
00:34:03,562 --> 00:34:04,897
- Holcomb?
- Yep.

711
00:34:04,897 --> 00:34:06,106
Where do you see that?

712
00:34:06,106 --> 00:34:07,775
[solemn music playing]

713
00:34:07,775 --> 00:34:10,444
[reporter 1] <i>We start
with breaking news out of Indianapolis</i>

714
00:34:10,444 --> 00:34:13,363
<i>as Indiana Governor Eric Holcomb
signs a bill</i>

715
00:34:13,363 --> 00:34:16,408
<i>banning all gender-affirming care
for minors...</i>

716
00:34:16,408 --> 00:34:19,828
[reporter 2] <i>A number of bills relating
to health care, access to bathrooms...</i>

717
00:34:19,828 --> 00:34:23,832
[reporter 3] <i>More than 70 LGBTQ bills
have been filed in the Texas legislature.</i>

718
00:34:23,832 --> 00:34:25,793
[reporter 4] <i>...makes Kansas the 20th state...</i>

719
00:34:25,793 --> 00:34:28,545
[reporter 5] <i>North Dakota's governor
signed a bill into law...</i>

720
00:34:28,545 --> 00:34:31,715
[reporter 6] <i>...provide a legal definition
of sex across the Tennessee code.</i>

721
00:34:31,715 --> 00:34:34,551
[reporter 7] <i>...law would
"preserve biological sex as a distinct..."</i>

722
00:34:34,551 --> 00:34:39,765
[reporter 8] <i>Transgenderism must be
eradicated from public life entirely.</i>

723
00:34:39,765 --> 00:34:41,183
[solemn music continues]

724
00:34:46,772 --> 00:34:49,441
- [Will] Here's where I dropped the ball.
- [Harper] Oh, okay.

725
00:34:49,441 --> 00:34:54,404
I obviously didn't anticipate
meeting the governor of Indiana.

726
00:34:54,404 --> 00:34:55,489
Oh, yeah.

727
00:34:55,489 --> 00:34:58,450
- And I... He asked what we were doing.
- Right.

728
00:34:58,450 --> 00:35:01,411
And we told him,
and he seemed... he seemed to---

729
00:35:01,411 --> 00:35:03,163
- Okay with that.
- Be, "Oh, great."

730
00:35:03,163 --> 00:35:06,542
And I... I wish I had
the wherewithal to go, like,

731
00:35:06,542 --> 00:35:09,253
"What's your stance on trans people?"

732
00:35:09,253 --> 00:35:10,212
Or "What's..."

733
00:35:10,212 --> 00:35:12,464
I actually didn't know
he was the governor,

734
00:35:12,464 --> 00:35:15,551
and then, later in the conversation,
someone said something--

735
00:35:15,551 --> 00:35:18,387
And I did. I heard, like,
"I want you to meet the governor."

736
00:35:18,387 --> 00:35:20,180
- Oh!
- And I'm like, "Oh."

737
00:35:20,180 --> 00:35:22,015
This must happen to you a lot.

738
00:35:22,599 --> 00:35:24,643
The photo you don't wanna be in.

739
00:35:24,643 --> 00:35:25,686
[Will] Yeah.

740
00:35:25,686 --> 00:35:27,938
- I don't get that very often.
- [Will] Right.

741
00:35:27,938 --> 00:35:32,025
And someone comes in, and there's
someone down there on the floor snapping.

742
00:35:32,025 --> 00:35:33,819
"This person's with Will Ferrell."

743
00:35:33,819 --> 00:35:36,530
But then I'm in this photo
with this governor,

744
00:35:36,530 --> 00:35:38,490
and I don't know his politics.

745
00:35:38,490 --> 00:35:40,367
- Right.
- And, uh, I mean...

746
00:35:40,367 --> 00:35:42,661
- That was the thing. That was...
- No--

747
00:35:42,661 --> 00:35:44,121
That was my negative take--

748
00:35:44,121 --> 00:35:46,582
That was the one place
where I was like, "I should've..."

749
00:35:46,582 --> 00:35:49,585
Just to see what he happened to say.

750
00:35:50,335 --> 00:35:51,170
Yeah.

751
00:35:51,795 --> 00:35:53,964
[Will] So walking into that arena...

752
00:35:53,964 --> 00:35:54,882
Yeah.

753
00:35:55,382 --> 00:35:57,176
- 20,000 people, right?
- Yeah.

754
00:35:57,176 --> 00:35:58,594
[Will] How did that feel?

755
00:35:59,720 --> 00:36:03,390
I know that all of this
is going to make it easier for me

756
00:36:03,390 --> 00:36:05,559
to walk into these kind of places later.

757
00:36:06,143 --> 00:36:07,477
I did it. It's done.

758
00:36:07,477 --> 00:36:11,356
I'm sort of looking for some of that
a little bit more on this trip.

759
00:36:11,356 --> 00:36:16,236
Like, I'm gonna have to peel off
a few times and just--

760
00:36:16,236 --> 00:36:18,572
- [Will] Sure.
- So I can feel what it feels like.

761
00:36:18,572 --> 00:36:19,656
By yourself, right?

762
00:36:19,656 --> 00:36:21,366
- Yeah, of course.
- Yeah.

763
00:36:21,366 --> 00:36:23,076
[pensive country music playing]

764
00:36:28,081 --> 00:36:29,416
[Harper] It's fascinating to me.

765
00:36:29,416 --> 00:36:32,586
There's so many trans people out here
all around the country,

766
00:36:32,586 --> 00:36:34,838
living their lives in these places.

767
00:36:34,838 --> 00:36:35,756
[Will] Yeah.

768
00:36:36,423 --> 00:36:37,758
[Harper] To me,

769
00:36:37,758 --> 00:36:41,720
connecting with more people like that
would be something I would like to do.

770
00:36:43,096 --> 00:36:44,514
Oh, we're heading to Peoria.

771
00:36:44,514 --> 00:36:47,726
There's, uh, a woman there
we're gonna meet named Dana Garber,

772
00:36:47,726 --> 00:36:50,229
who, um, transitioned later in life,

773
00:36:50,729 --> 00:36:56,485
and she has been deeply involved
in the trans community in Peoria,

774
00:36:56,485 --> 00:36:57,903
which is fascinating to me

775
00:36:57,903 --> 00:36:59,529
because I did not know...

776
00:36:59,529 --> 00:37:00,447
Of course.

777
00:37:00,447 --> 00:37:01,990
...any trans people growing up.

778
00:37:01,990 --> 00:37:02,908
Yeah.

779
00:37:08,747 --> 00:37:11,166
[Harper] Thanks for having us
in your city, in Peoria.

780
00:37:11,166 --> 00:37:12,334
[Dana] Yeah.

781
00:37:12,334 --> 00:37:13,961
Are you from here originally?

782
00:37:13,961 --> 00:37:16,338
- Yeah, this is Pekin right here.
- [Will] Okay.

783
00:37:16,338 --> 00:37:18,131
And I've been here my whole life.

784
00:37:18,131 --> 00:37:19,049
- Oh wow.
- [Dana] Yep.

785
00:37:19,883 --> 00:37:22,052
[Harper] Did you transition like me?

786
00:37:22,052 --> 00:37:23,428
Ki-- I'm 61. So...

787
00:37:23,428 --> 00:37:25,389
- And I'm 65.
- [Harper] Okay.

788
00:37:25,389 --> 00:37:29,226
I started... I came out to my family
when I was 55.

789
00:37:29,226 --> 00:37:30,894
Okay. Wow. Okay, so it's--

790
00:37:30,894 --> 00:37:32,896
- [Will] So very similar to Harper.
- [Dana] Yeah.

791
00:37:32,896 --> 00:37:37,484
I know from my own experience,
but I'm gonna guess that was really tough.

792
00:37:38,110 --> 00:37:39,778
- Yeah. [chuckles]
- [Harper] Yeah.

793
00:37:40,279 --> 00:37:43,949
Yes. So I knew a long time ago
that, you know,

794
00:37:44,700 --> 00:37:46,868
that I should have been a girl.

795
00:37:46,868 --> 00:37:48,870
On my first day of kindergarten,

796
00:37:50,122 --> 00:37:52,124
I walked in and I sat down with the girls.

797
00:37:52,124 --> 00:37:55,294
So the teacher's talking about
class rules, you know.

798
00:37:55,294 --> 00:37:57,629
- Yeah.
- So she took us to potty.

799
00:37:57,629 --> 00:37:59,089
And I got in the girls' line.

800
00:37:59,089 --> 00:38:01,591
She grabbed me by the hand
and said, "No, baby."

801
00:38:01,591 --> 00:38:04,177
"You gotta go in the boys' line.
You're a boy."

802
00:38:05,095 --> 00:38:07,306
And everybody started making fun of me.

803
00:38:07,306 --> 00:38:09,308
So I got, like, a panic attack,

804
00:38:09,308 --> 00:38:12,269
and I went in the bathroom,
threw up and everything.

805
00:38:12,269 --> 00:38:15,105
And the teacher came in there,
like, "Are you sick?"

806
00:38:15,105 --> 00:38:17,566
And she called my mom,
and my mom came and got me.

807
00:38:17,566 --> 00:38:21,361
And I... I told her what had happened.
And she said, "Honey, you're a boy."

808
00:38:21,361 --> 00:38:25,157
"You can't go in there with the girls.
You got different body parts and stuff."

809
00:38:25,157 --> 00:38:27,367
- And I didn't know that, you know?
- [Harper] Right.

810
00:38:27,367 --> 00:38:29,119
It wasn't about body parts.

811
00:38:29,786 --> 00:38:32,080
You know,
it was about who I am in here, so...

812
00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:35,042
You know, it's like,
what was wrong with me, you know?

813
00:38:35,042 --> 00:38:39,212
I used to pray to Jesus
every night when I was in grade school,

814
00:38:39,212 --> 00:38:42,841
you know, fix me or kill me,
one or the other, you know?

815
00:38:42,841 --> 00:38:44,343
- It was horrible.
- [Harper] Yeah.

816
00:38:44,343 --> 00:38:47,262
[Dana] It was like,
"Why am I like this?" You know?

817
00:38:47,262 --> 00:38:48,889
[gentle music playing]

818
00:38:49,723 --> 00:38:54,770
Got in a really bad place mentally,
and I got pretty suicidal for a while.

819
00:38:54,770 --> 00:38:57,022
- [Harper] Yeah.
- And I thought the only way...

820
00:38:57,522 --> 00:38:59,900
I thought,
"I don't really wanna die," you know,

821
00:38:59,900 --> 00:39:03,445
"but I don't
wanna go on like this either."

822
00:39:03,445 --> 00:39:05,864
So that's when I started counseling,

823
00:39:05,864 --> 00:39:09,159
and my counselor was really awesome.

824
00:39:09,159 --> 00:39:13,497
She's more like, "If you wanna do this,
then try it," you know?

825
00:39:14,164 --> 00:39:18,710
Because I wasn't living
my auth... authenticity, you know? So...

826
00:39:18,710 --> 00:39:19,628
[Harper] Yeah.

827
00:39:19,628 --> 00:39:24,007
Um... Now, my experience was that I had a...
kind of not a good therapist.

828
00:39:24,007 --> 00:39:26,051
- You know how that works sometimes.
- Yeah.

829
00:39:26,051 --> 00:39:28,178
And, uh, much later,

830
00:39:28,178 --> 00:39:31,014
I got a... a better-- A gender therapist,

831
00:39:31,014 --> 00:39:32,557
and we kept talking.

832
00:39:32,557 --> 00:39:35,310
And it was still a year,
but once I got to...

833
00:39:35,310 --> 00:39:37,813
my est... my first estrogen pill...

834
00:39:37,813 --> 00:39:39,022
This is silly to me.

835
00:39:39,022 --> 00:39:40,565
- I'm sure any person...
- [Dana chuckles]

836
00:39:40,565 --> 00:39:42,859
But that first estrogen pill
is like, "Ta-da!"

837
00:39:42,859 --> 00:39:45,237
"Magic! Ah, this is
the most amazing feeling."

838
00:39:45,237 --> 00:39:47,447
- You're not feeling anything for months.
- Wow.

839
00:39:47,447 --> 00:39:50,450
But I just like...
mentally, I was just like... like,

840
00:39:50,450 --> 00:39:53,286
"Why did I wait so long?
I love this." You know?

841
00:39:53,286 --> 00:39:54,788
- [Dana] Me too.
- [Harper] Yeah.

842
00:39:57,374 --> 00:40:02,462
[Will] Have you faced hate
in this community at times, or--

843
00:40:02,462 --> 00:40:04,548
[Dana] I think I've had a few incidents.

844
00:40:04,548 --> 00:40:07,342
My voice gets me misgendered a lot,
and I just--

845
00:40:07,342 --> 00:40:09,928
- [Harper] I hate-- I hate the voice.
- [Will] You hate your voice.

846
00:40:09,928 --> 00:40:12,931
- I really do like passing.
- [Dana] Yeah.

847
00:40:12,931 --> 00:40:17,102
[Harper] And I would love to pass.
I just... The voice was killing me.

848
00:40:17,102 --> 00:40:22,190
I don't really want
this low, male voice, you know?

849
00:40:22,190 --> 00:40:24,734
I... I did that, too, for a while, you know.

850
00:40:24,734 --> 00:40:27,529
- I went to this vocal therapy course.
- [Harper] Yeah.

851
00:40:27,529 --> 00:40:29,948
[Dana] Sat down one night,
and I'm really thinking,

852
00:40:30,615 --> 00:40:33,660
was I doing this for me
or for society, you know?

853
00:40:33,660 --> 00:40:34,995
[Will] Wow, right, right.

854
00:40:34,995 --> 00:40:38,165
And I... No, I'm doing it
for everybody else but me.

855
00:40:38,165 --> 00:40:39,791
This is my voice, you know?

856
00:40:40,625 --> 00:40:45,130
A lot of transitioning
is learning to accept yourself, I think.

857
00:40:46,715 --> 00:40:48,633
[cheering, applause]

858
00:40:50,760 --> 00:40:52,429
Hey, I just wanna point out

859
00:40:52,429 --> 00:40:56,141
that this is... basically
the first time I've ever done this.

860
00:40:56,141 --> 00:40:58,894
- I can't sing.
- [woman 1] That doesn't matter!

861
00:40:58,894 --> 00:41:01,229
[crowd shout encouragement]

862
00:41:01,897 --> 00:41:03,982
- [Will] I don't think it matters.
- [Harper] Okay.

863
00:41:03,982 --> 00:41:06,401
- How about Sonny and Cher? How about--
- [woman 2] Whoo!

864
00:41:06,401 --> 00:41:09,154
- ["I Got You Babe" playing]
- You... you wanna take this?

865
00:41:09,154 --> 00:41:11,239
- I got this.
- You got the first line.

866
00:41:11,239 --> 00:41:14,534
<i>♪ They say we're young
And we don't know ♪</i>

867
00:41:14,534 --> 00:41:15,535
[woman 3] Whoo!

868
00:41:15,535 --> 00:41:19,080
<i>- ♪ We won't find out until we grow ♪
- ♪ Grow ♪</i>

869
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:21,124
[woman 4] Yeah! Whoo-whoo-whoo!

870
00:41:21,124 --> 00:41:24,794
<i>- ♪ I don't know... all true ♪
- ♪ Well, I don't know if it's all true ♪</i>

871
00:41:24,794 --> 00:41:25,962
<i>- ♪ 'Cause I got you ♪</i>

872
00:41:25,962 --> 00:41:28,381
<i>- ♪ And, baby, I got you ♪</i>
- [Will] <i>♪ I got you ♪</i>

873
00:41:28,381 --> 00:41:29,633
[woman 3] Whoo!

874
00:41:30,634 --> 00:41:31,510
[all] <i>♪ Babe ♪</i>

875
00:41:33,470 --> 00:41:35,013
<i>♪ I got you, babe ♪</i>

876
00:41:35,013 --> 00:41:36,723
- [woman 5] Yeah!
- [woman 6] Whoo!

877
00:41:36,723 --> 00:41:38,266
<i>♪ I got you, babe ♪</i>

878
00:41:38,266 --> 00:41:39,809
[cheering, applause]

879
00:41:39,809 --> 00:41:43,188
[Cher] <i>♪ They say our love
Won't pay the rent ♪</i>

880
00:41:43,772 --> 00:41:47,734
<i>♪ Before it's earned
Our money's all been spent</i>... ♪

881
00:41:47,734 --> 00:41:50,654
- [Harper] That singing last night.
- [Will] On the mic, you were good.

882
00:41:50,654 --> 00:41:52,906
[Harper] Oh, no, I can take hold of a mic.

883
00:41:52,906 --> 00:41:56,743
- But I've never seen you that way before.
- It was amazing for me.

884
00:41:57,869 --> 00:42:00,288
Do you think we need... This could be fun.

885
00:42:00,288 --> 00:42:01,331
Yeah, okay.

886
00:42:03,416 --> 00:42:05,877
...like, a theme song for this road trip?

887
00:42:05,877 --> 00:42:06,836
Oh!

888
00:42:07,337 --> 00:42:10,048
- We could call someone.
- Who are you thinking?

889
00:42:10,966 --> 00:42:12,425
Fred Armisen comes to mind, right?

890
00:42:12,425 --> 00:42:13,468
- [Will] Fred.
- Fred.

891
00:42:13,468 --> 00:42:15,720
[playing discordant cords on piano]

892
00:42:19,724 --> 00:42:22,602
Let me think who else that we know
that writes good songs.

893
00:42:22,602 --> 00:42:25,355
- [Will] Uh, uh, Forte?
- Oh yeah, Will Forte.

894
00:42:25,355 --> 00:42:30,652
<i>♪ Have you ever had a Mexican location
Sitting right on your face? ♪</i>

895
00:42:31,361 --> 00:42:33,613
- Incredibly musical. Very--
- Of course, yeah.

896
00:42:33,613 --> 00:42:35,365
- [Harper] Molly.
- Molly Shannon.

897
00:42:35,365 --> 00:42:38,243
<i>♪ Isn't it romantic? Well! ♪</i>

898
00:42:38,243 --> 00:42:40,245
- What about Wiig?
- Kristen Wiig.

899
00:42:40,245 --> 00:42:46,251
<i>♪ ...party with the best of them ♪</i>

900
00:42:46,251 --> 00:42:49,462
<i>♪ And I'm gonna go down to the river ♪</i>

901
00:42:49,462 --> 00:42:50,672
Okay, calling Wiig.

902
00:42:51,256 --> 00:42:53,883
- [outgoing call tone]
- [Harper] Uh-huh.

903
00:42:55,302 --> 00:42:56,136
<i>W--</i> [gasps]

904
00:42:56,136 --> 00:43:00,140
- Hi, Wiig.
- Hello, Kristen.

905
00:43:00,140 --> 00:43:02,350
<i>- Hi! Oh my gosh!</i>
- [Harper] Hi.

906
00:43:02,350 --> 00:43:04,102
<i>Look at you, guys. What's up?</i>

907
00:43:04,686 --> 00:43:07,647
We... we're trying to think of a theme song.

908
00:43:07,647 --> 00:43:09,357
<i>- Oh, okay.</i> [chuckles]
- So...

909
00:43:09,357 --> 00:43:12,110
And we thought you're one of our friends,

910
00:43:12,110 --> 00:43:14,946
who's so talented in so many ways,

911
00:43:14,946 --> 00:43:18,617
that you would be able
to come up with a theme song.

912
00:43:18,617 --> 00:43:20,327
[Kristen] <i>I-- Yes. Do you just--</i>

913
00:43:20,327 --> 00:43:22,078
<i>We want it to be sort of...</i>

914
00:43:22,746 --> 00:43:25,498
- Oh, no, we've thought about it.
<i>- Fun friends on the road?</i>

915
00:43:25,498 --> 00:43:28,001
- Friends on the road, for sure.
- Friends on the road.

916
00:43:28,001 --> 00:43:30,003
Harper and Will and stuff like that.

917
00:43:30,003 --> 00:43:31,796
I want it to be kind of jazzy.

918
00:43:31,796 --> 00:43:33,256
- I want it to be jazzy.
- <i>Oh.</i>

919
00:43:33,256 --> 00:43:35,133
- With an up tempo.
- Yeah.

920
00:43:35,133 --> 00:43:37,344
- But not too up.
- No. And it also needs a little--

921
00:43:37,344 --> 00:43:39,054
<i>- Let me write this down.</i>
- Yeah.

922
00:43:39,054 --> 00:43:42,307
But then it's gotta stop you
in your tracks and make you think.

923
00:43:42,307 --> 00:43:44,309
- Very sad.
- Maybe bring a tear to your eye.

924
00:43:44,309 --> 00:43:47,312
Yeah, it should bring a tear
to your eye too. Yeah, do that.

925
00:43:47,312 --> 00:43:50,690
And a little twang like some country
'cause we're in the middle of the country.

926
00:43:50,690 --> 00:43:53,276
- <i>So up-tempo jazz.
-</i> Jazzy.

927
00:43:53,276 --> 00:43:54,402
- Jazz.
- <i>Fun.</i>

928
00:43:54,402 --> 00:43:56,946
- Fun, but it's gotta make you cry.
- You gotta cry.

929
00:43:56,946 --> 00:43:58,573
Yeah, you gotta cry.

930
00:43:58,573 --> 00:44:00,784
<i>- Tear to your eye, fun.</i>
- Jazzy.

931
00:44:00,784 --> 00:44:02,869
- Jazzy. Don't forget jazzy.
<i>- With a little country.</i>

932
00:44:02,869 --> 00:44:04,204
With a little country.

933
00:44:04,204 --> 00:44:06,873
- Yeah, please don't forget jazzy.
- <i>Okay.</i>

934
00:44:07,457 --> 00:44:09,042
- Uh, thank you so much.
- <i>Love you.</i>

935
00:44:09,042 --> 00:44:10,627
<i>It's good to see you. I'm gonna--</i>

936
00:44:10,627 --> 00:44:12,962
- Yeah, I mean, just take your time.
- <i>Yeah.</i>

937
00:44:12,962 --> 00:44:15,507
But anytime in the next couple days
or something, I don't know.

938
00:44:15,507 --> 00:44:17,175
- <i>Oh, okay.</i>
- Yeah.

939
00:44:17,759 --> 00:44:18,760
- <i>Bye, guys.</i>
- Bye, buddy.

940
00:44:18,760 --> 00:44:19,761
- Bye.
- Bye.

941
00:44:20,970 --> 00:44:22,305
[Will] I think she got it.

942
00:44:22,305 --> 00:44:24,933
- Yeah, that's good. Yeah.
- [Will] Yeah. Yup.

943
00:44:25,809 --> 00:44:27,852
<i>♪ I'm going up the country ♪</i>

944
00:44:27,852 --> 00:44:30,480
<i>♪ Baby, don't you wanna go? ♪</i>

945
00:44:31,815 --> 00:44:33,608
{\an8}<i>♪ I'm going up the country ♪</i>

946
00:44:33,608 --> 00:44:36,319
<i>♪ Baby, don't you wanna go? ♪</i>

947
00:44:37,612 --> 00:44:42,367
<i>♪ I'm going to some place
Where I've never been before ♪</i>

948
00:44:43,326 --> 00:44:46,329
<i>♪ I'm going, I'm going
Where the water tastes... ♪</i>

949
00:44:46,329 --> 00:44:47,831
[Will] Here's a question.

950
00:44:47,831 --> 00:44:50,875
Do you think
you're a worse driver as a female driver?

951
00:44:50,875 --> 00:44:53,712
[laughing]

952
00:44:53,712 --> 00:44:55,630
- That's the dumbest-- that's so--
- Whoo!

953
00:44:55,630 --> 00:44:58,633
- No. No, no. That is so-- Oh, fuck you.
- Whoo!

954
00:44:58,633 --> 00:45:00,135
- Zing! Whoo!
- But I am.

955
00:45:00,135 --> 00:45:01,094
- Yeah.
- Oh.

956
00:45:03,596 --> 00:45:04,973
- Hey.
- How's it going today?

957
00:45:04,973 --> 00:45:08,643
Do you recognize this guy?
He's a-- This is a Hollywood movie star.

958
00:45:08,643 --> 00:45:09,936
Huh? No.

959
00:45:09,936 --> 00:45:13,398
- Don't you recognize him? He's in movies.
- That's okay. Roll up the window.

960
00:45:17,444 --> 00:45:18,528
[music fades]

961
00:45:18,528 --> 00:45:20,363
[cell phone vibrating]

962
00:45:20,363 --> 00:45:22,699
Oh shit. This is my sister.
I better get this one.

963
00:45:22,699 --> 00:45:23,616
[Will] Okay.

964
00:45:24,617 --> 00:45:25,952
[Harper] Uh, hi, Eleanor.

965
00:45:27,495 --> 00:45:30,874
I'm gonna put you on speaker
so Will can ask you some questions.

966
00:45:30,874 --> 00:45:33,376
- [Eleanor] <i>Okay.</i>
- Eleanor, I don't wanna impose.

967
00:45:33,376 --> 00:45:36,880
- Are you sure it's okay if I stay?
<i>- Oh my God, of course it's okay.</i>

968
00:45:36,880 --> 00:45:40,592
Do you have... do you have
a humidifier set up in my room?

969
00:45:40,592 --> 00:45:44,095
- I would-- Don't listen to your sister.
- No, don't indulge--

970
00:45:44,095 --> 00:45:45,889
- Don't indulge him.
- Oh!

971
00:45:45,889 --> 00:45:47,766
[Harper] Will's sleeping
on the couch for that.

972
00:45:47,766 --> 00:45:50,018
What products do you have
in your guest bathroom?

973
00:45:50,018 --> 00:45:50,935
[Harper] Stop!

974
00:45:51,436 --> 00:45:54,647
[Eleanor] <i>Tell Will I'll put
my Chanel face cream down there.</i>

975
00:45:54,647 --> 00:45:56,191
- Oh.
- Thank you. Yes.

976
00:45:56,191 --> 00:45:57,984
[sentimental music playing]

977
00:45:58,777 --> 00:46:01,112
- [Harper] I'm feeling it.
- [Will] I can tell.

978
00:46:01,112 --> 00:46:04,949
I'm getting closer to Iowa City,
and I am feeling it.

979
00:46:05,575 --> 00:46:07,827
[Will] This is the home turf.
You're excited.

980
00:46:13,041 --> 00:46:14,417
[Harper] Oh my goodness.

981
00:46:14,417 --> 00:46:16,211
[Will] Fantastic. I love it.

982
00:46:23,092 --> 00:46:24,761
- [Harper] Hi.
- Hello.

983
00:46:25,970 --> 00:46:27,847
- [Harper] Huh?
- [both chuckle]

984
00:46:28,598 --> 00:46:31,392
- [Eleanor] Good to see you.
- This is my friend Will Ferrell.

985
00:46:31,392 --> 00:46:33,019
- Hi, Will.
- [Will] How are you?

986
00:46:33,520 --> 00:46:35,522
Oh, should this be a housewarming gift?

987
00:46:36,022 --> 00:46:37,899
[Eleanor] Oh, thank you.

988
00:46:39,067 --> 00:46:41,402
- [Will] Do you like Pringles?
- [Eleanor] I love Pringles.

989
00:46:42,821 --> 00:46:44,656
All right, just around the corner.

990
00:46:44,656 --> 00:46:47,116
[Harper] Okay.
Bathroom in there, by the way.

991
00:46:47,992 --> 00:46:49,953
- Thank you. This is great.
- [Harper] Yeah.

992
00:46:50,453 --> 00:46:53,790
Eleanor, what was your reaction
when you got the news?

993
00:46:53,790 --> 00:46:55,208
I was totally surprised.

994
00:46:55,708 --> 00:46:56,543
Um...

995
00:46:57,293 --> 00:47:02,215
And I think my reaction was... sorrow.

996
00:47:02,715 --> 00:47:03,800
[Will] Uh-huh.

997
00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:05,885
And the reason I felt sorrow

998
00:47:05,885 --> 00:47:11,891
was I thought about how much pain
Harper must have suffered over the years.

999
00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:15,144
And also knowing, like, immediately

1000
00:47:15,144 --> 00:47:18,147
how stressful that moment was
of coming out.

1001
00:47:18,898 --> 00:47:23,486
And so the most important thing to me
was not to be so careful in my response

1002
00:47:23,486 --> 00:47:24,988
but to respond quickly.

1003
00:47:24,988 --> 00:47:25,905
You did.

1004
00:47:25,905 --> 00:47:29,409
So she knew
it's not something I need to think about.

1005
00:47:29,409 --> 00:47:31,619
- I'll talk to you more later.
- [Will] Yeah.

1006
00:47:31,619 --> 00:47:35,999
I think what you said,
which was so... heartening...

1007
00:47:35,999 --> 00:47:39,085
[chuckles] ...was, "Oh good.
I've always wanted a sister."

1008
00:47:39,586 --> 00:47:41,796
- I did say that, yeah.
- [Harper] That's what you said.

1009
00:47:41,796 --> 00:47:43,214
Pow. Just like that.

1010
00:47:43,798 --> 00:47:47,760
I was gonna tell a funny story,
though, because I always think of this.

1011
00:47:47,760 --> 00:47:50,013
I think it was around eighth grade.

1012
00:47:50,513 --> 00:47:55,476
Eleanor gave me a pair of her bell-bottoms
that she didn't want anymore,

1013
00:47:55,476 --> 00:47:58,313
and they were white, frilly bell-bottoms.

1014
00:47:58,813 --> 00:48:02,483
And once I got 'em,
they were my favorite article of clothing.

1015
00:48:02,483 --> 00:48:04,360
I wore them all around. I loved them.

1016
00:48:04,360 --> 00:48:07,906
And I went to the skate park
with my skate friends.

1017
00:48:07,906 --> 00:48:08,907
- [Will] Yeah.
- Uh...

1018
00:48:08,907 --> 00:48:12,493
And we skated around that night,
and I was feeling good in my white--

1019
00:48:12,493 --> 00:48:14,704
- [Will] In your white bell-bottoms.
- My bell-bottoms.

1020
00:48:14,704 --> 00:48:18,791
And, uh, I come out of that skate park,
and it's like, uh...

1021
00:48:19,876 --> 00:48:23,087
"Hey, we gotta come back next week.
They're doing it again next week."

1022
00:48:23,087 --> 00:48:26,633
And someone goes,
"Yeah, but don't bring those faggy pants."

1023
00:48:26,633 --> 00:48:27,550
[Will] Oh.

1024
00:48:27,550 --> 00:48:31,429
And, uh, the pants disappeared
right at that moment.

1025
00:48:31,429 --> 00:48:34,307
There's no part of you that was like,
"Shut up. These pants are cool."

1026
00:48:34,307 --> 00:48:38,311
[Harper] So many times in my life, some,
probably, effort for Harper to get out

1027
00:48:38,311 --> 00:48:39,729
was just squashed.

1028
00:48:39,729 --> 00:48:41,481
- Yeah.
- [Harper] Over and over again.

1029
00:48:41,481 --> 00:48:45,109
And I just remember that one
kind of clearly. So...

1030
00:48:45,652 --> 00:48:48,321
Uh, Eleanor,
you haven't touched your Pringles.

1031
00:48:48,321 --> 00:48:51,240
- Sour cream and onion.
- [Eleanor] Oh, I totally forgot.

1032
00:48:51,240 --> 00:48:54,410
Are you familiar with their Scorched line?

1033
00:48:54,410 --> 00:48:55,787
- [Eleanor] I'm not.
- Yeah.

1034
00:48:55,787 --> 00:48:58,122
- That might be too much for me, yeah.
- [Will] I think so.

1035
00:48:58,122 --> 00:48:59,874
- Oh, why thank you.
- [Harper] Mm.

1036
00:48:59,874 --> 00:49:01,376
- Oh, a little taste of--
- Oh.

1037
00:49:01,376 --> 00:49:02,794
Oh. Don't-- Oh!

1038
00:49:02,794 --> 00:49:03,711
[Will] Mm.

1039
00:49:04,212 --> 00:49:06,714
- [crunching]
- And where did these come from?

1040
00:49:08,132 --> 00:49:10,635
[Harper] We got them at a Walmart.
It was in Indianapolis.

1041
00:49:10,635 --> 00:49:13,471
They taste different.
You can tell they're from Indiana.

1042
00:49:13,471 --> 00:49:17,433
- [Harper] Oh yeah, definitely.
- [Will and Harper chuckling]

1043
00:49:17,433 --> 00:49:20,603
<i>♪ I wanna hold the hand inside... ♪</i>

1044
00:49:20,603 --> 00:49:22,855
[Harper] See what we got here. That's...

1045
00:49:22,855 --> 00:49:25,066
Think my mother collected all those.

1046
00:49:25,650 --> 00:49:26,609
[Will] Wow.

1047
00:49:26,609 --> 00:49:29,612
<i>♪ I wanna take a breath and... ♪</i>

1048
00:49:29,612 --> 00:49:31,864
[Harper] These are little school photos of

1049
00:49:32,365 --> 00:49:35,243
cute Harper Steele when she was confused.

1050
00:49:35,243 --> 00:49:37,787
And this is probably around the age

1051
00:49:37,787 --> 00:49:39,998
where I started to feel
just kind of weird.

1052
00:49:39,998 --> 00:49:40,915
[Will] Yeah.

1053
00:49:40,915 --> 00:49:44,544
[Harper] And, uh...
you just start to think to yourself

1054
00:49:44,544 --> 00:49:47,213
that, uh, everyone feels the same way.

1055
00:49:47,213 --> 00:49:48,840
So you're just kind of quiet...

1056
00:49:48,840 --> 00:49:52,760
[chuckles] ...about the whole deal.
It's like, "We all feel that way, right?"

1057
00:49:54,595 --> 00:49:57,682
Every time I see
a picture like this of me...

1058
00:49:58,850 --> 00:50:02,103
I mean, here I am in the newspaper.
I used to ride a unicycle.

1059
00:50:02,603 --> 00:50:06,190
I... I rode all over town,
Iowa City, on... on the unicycle.

1060
00:50:07,191 --> 00:50:09,402
I love this photo. This is, uh...

1061
00:50:10,278 --> 00:50:12,905
Whenever I see myself
as a little girl. [chuckles]

1062
00:50:13,948 --> 00:50:15,992
I swear to God, I love this photo.

1063
00:50:17,952 --> 00:50:18,786
Yeah.

1064
00:50:20,079 --> 00:50:21,414
Darn it. [chuckles emotionally]

1065
00:50:21,414 --> 00:50:26,210
<i>♪ Fade into you ♪</i>

1066
00:50:30,590 --> 00:50:35,386
<i>♪ Strange you never knew... ♪</i>

1067
00:50:36,095 --> 00:50:37,430
[Harper] Yeah, this is it.

1068
00:50:38,514 --> 00:50:40,391
This is the house that I grew up in.

1069
00:50:43,352 --> 00:50:46,522
I used to skateboard. Did all
my early skateboarding tricks out here.

1070
00:50:46,522 --> 00:50:49,609
- I used to do my pole-vaulting this side.
- Down this, like...

1071
00:50:49,609 --> 00:50:52,612
Yeah, we had this--
I had-- My mother built a little--

1072
00:50:53,112 --> 00:50:55,698
Uh, she helped me build
a pole-vaulting mat

1073
00:50:55,698 --> 00:50:58,076
out of a bunch of potato sacks and--

1074
00:50:58,076 --> 00:50:59,869
- So you'd run down that way.
- Yeah. Choo.

1075
00:50:59,869 --> 00:51:02,538
[Will] And then--
But in the backyard was where...

1076
00:51:02,538 --> 00:51:04,290
- The puck was. Yeah.
- [Will] Okay.

1077
00:51:04,290 --> 00:51:08,294
And I'd smack it, and I'd--
You know, seven feet.

1078
00:51:08,294 --> 00:51:10,505
What was I gonna do all summer,
play with other people?

1079
00:51:10,505 --> 00:51:12,173
- No, I pole-vaulted.
- [chuckles]

1080
00:51:12,173 --> 00:51:14,300
[both laughing]

1081
00:51:16,552 --> 00:51:19,806
I came home from City High one day,
and I was just kinda bored.

1082
00:51:19,806 --> 00:51:22,517
So I started acting like I was drunk
on the way home.

1083
00:51:22,517 --> 00:51:24,268
- [chuckles]
- And-- Oh, I could ride that.

1084
00:51:25,061 --> 00:51:25,895
Hey, can I ride that?

1085
00:51:26,562 --> 00:51:28,898
Do you mind if she borrows your unicycle
just for a second?

1086
00:51:28,898 --> 00:51:29,816
[kid] What?

1087
00:51:29,816 --> 00:51:32,068
Could she just ride your unicycle
for a second?

1088
00:51:32,068 --> 00:51:32,985
Why?

1089
00:51:32,985 --> 00:51:35,071
- She knows how to ride one.
- [kid] Sure.

1090
00:51:35,071 --> 00:51:36,489
- Yeah, thanks.
- Oh, that's awesome.

1091
00:51:36,489 --> 00:51:38,282
I'm in heels,
so it might be a little hard.

1092
00:51:38,866 --> 00:51:40,785
- [Will] What's your name?
- My name's Quinn. Yours?

1093
00:51:40,785 --> 00:51:42,286
- [Harper] That's Will Ferrell.
- Cool.

1094
00:51:42,286 --> 00:51:45,164
[Harper] I like to have this up here,
so when I fall, it's gonna be good.

1095
00:51:45,164 --> 00:51:47,834
She was bragging
about being able to ride a unicycle.

1096
00:51:48,459 --> 00:51:50,336
Is that your mode of transportation,
pretty much?

1097
00:51:50,336 --> 00:51:52,672
This was my mode of transportation
in junior high.

1098
00:51:52,672 --> 00:51:54,340
- Give me a second.
- [Will] Yeah.

1099
00:51:54,340 --> 00:51:56,509
- I'll stand--
- It's been many years, okay?

1100
00:51:56,509 --> 00:51:58,302
- All right.
- Once you're on though...

1101
00:51:58,302 --> 00:52:00,138
- [Will] Whoa!
- [Harper] Once you're on.

1102
00:52:00,138 --> 00:52:01,722
- There we go.
- [Will giggles]

1103
00:52:01,722 --> 00:52:03,516
[Harper] Here we go. Oh boy.

1104
00:52:04,142 --> 00:52:05,017
Oh my God.

1105
00:52:05,643 --> 00:52:07,186
[chuckling] No, no, no.

1106
00:52:07,186 --> 00:52:10,231
- It's so... it's so unstable.
- [Will giggling]

1107
00:52:10,231 --> 00:52:11,899
[Will and Harper laughing]

1108
00:52:13,484 --> 00:52:15,570
I spent so many long--
I lived on this thing for years.

1109
00:52:15,570 --> 00:52:19,365
- [Will] <i>♪ La-di-da, on Sunday afternoon ♪</i>
- Okay, good. Here we go. Goddamn.

1110
00:52:19,365 --> 00:52:21,159
<i>- ♪ In Iowa City ♪</i>
- Okay, there we go.

1111
00:52:21,159 --> 00:52:23,870
- Hey, Harper. Good to see you.
- Hey, Will. How you doing?

1112
00:52:23,870 --> 00:52:25,163
[Harper chuckling] Bye.

1113
00:52:25,788 --> 00:52:27,415
[gasps breathlessly] Whoa.

1114
00:52:28,791 --> 00:52:31,002
- Oh!
- Thanks for letting us borrow.

1115
00:52:31,669 --> 00:52:34,255
Yeah. Well, have a good day.

1116
00:52:34,255 --> 00:52:36,549
- [Harper] Thank you so much.
- You're welcome.

1117
00:52:36,549 --> 00:52:38,217
- Anyway--
- I'm blown away.

1118
00:52:38,217 --> 00:52:39,927
- That's what I did.
- [Will] Wow.

1119
00:52:39,927 --> 00:52:42,513
[Harper] I'd go to junior high
like that every day for two years.

1120
00:52:43,931 --> 00:52:45,433
- Man, that's weird.
- I know.

1121
00:52:45,433 --> 00:52:48,019
- Very weird.
- ["Shelter from the Storm" playing]

1122
00:52:48,019 --> 00:52:50,730
- [Will] Well, thanks, Eleanor.
- [Eleanor] All right.

1123
00:52:50,730 --> 00:52:53,191
- You're good on Pringles, right?
- I still have some.

1124
00:52:53,191 --> 00:52:54,901
- Okay.
- Yeah. Thank you though.

1125
00:52:54,901 --> 00:52:56,402
- [Will] All right.
- I enjoyed 'em.

1126
00:52:57,153 --> 00:52:59,155
<i>♪ "Come in," she said, "I'll give ya" ♪</i>

1127
00:52:59,655 --> 00:53:01,657
<i>♪ "Shelter from the storm</i>..." ♪

1128
00:53:02,158 --> 00:53:02,992
Look at it.

1129
00:53:02,992 --> 00:53:04,619
- Look at the snow!
- I know.

1130
00:53:04,619 --> 00:53:06,787
Does this technically count as a blizzard?

1131
00:53:06,787 --> 00:53:08,873
- No, this is nothing like a blizzard.
- Okay.

1132
00:53:08,873 --> 00:53:10,583
[Harper] No, no, this is light snow.

1133
00:53:10,583 --> 00:53:13,961
- These flakes seem big.
- No, this is a light flurry.

1134
00:53:13,961 --> 00:53:15,671
<i>♪ If I pass this way again ♪</i>

1135
00:53:16,172 --> 00:53:18,007
<i>♪ You can rest assured ♪</i>

1136
00:53:18,007 --> 00:53:19,217
<i>♪ I'll always do... ♪</i>

1137
00:53:19,217 --> 00:53:20,927
- [Harper] Oh.
- [Will] It is a blizzard.

1138
00:53:20,927 --> 00:53:23,387
[Harper] It's beginning to look
a little less like a flurry.

1139
00:53:23,387 --> 00:53:25,890
- Maybe I'll give you that.
- [Will] See, I called it.

1140
00:53:26,933 --> 00:53:28,851
<i>♪ "Come in," she said, "I'll give ya" ♪</i>

1141
00:53:29,352 --> 00:53:31,229
<i>♪ "Shelter from the storm" ♪</i>

1142
00:53:37,443 --> 00:53:38,527
[music fades]

1143
00:53:38,527 --> 00:53:40,780
[Will] So I was so curious.

1144
00:53:41,781 --> 00:53:45,868
Just... I don't know, I just thought--
I... I... I never asked you, like...

1145
00:53:47,411 --> 00:53:48,371
[Harper] Okay, go.

1146
00:53:48,871 --> 00:53:50,331
- Go.
- How... how are your boobs?

1147
00:53:50,831 --> 00:53:52,208
- As if--
- Now you got boobs.

1148
00:53:52,708 --> 00:53:53,834
I love my boobs.

1149
00:53:54,418 --> 00:53:58,297
When you woke up from that s-- Was it--

1150
00:53:59,131 --> 00:54:00,800
I like to think it was like...

1151
00:54:02,134 --> 00:54:03,219
[both chuckling]

1152
00:54:03,219 --> 00:54:05,972
Was it just like the heavens
were sing... in a way?

1153
00:54:05,972 --> 00:54:09,350
I joke that I did puberty
in about four hours.

1154
00:54:09,350 --> 00:54:10,351
[Will chuckles]

1155
00:54:10,351 --> 00:54:13,312
But... as soon as I woke up,

1156
00:54:14,772 --> 00:54:15,690
I was like,

1157
00:54:17,525 --> 00:54:18,484
"This is amazing."

1158
00:54:18,484 --> 00:54:19,402
Yeah.

1159
00:54:19,402 --> 00:54:23,739
Every time I've done something that's
made me feel better in my own body--

1160
00:54:23,739 --> 00:54:25,116
- Yeah.
- For myself--

1161
00:54:25,116 --> 00:54:27,994
- [Will] It's amazing.
- There's-- It... it... it... it's been...

1162
00:54:28,869 --> 00:54:31,580
- [Will] Exhilarating. Yeah.
- Yeah. Guns a-blazing.

1163
00:54:31,580 --> 00:54:34,041
- [Will] Yup. That's great.
- So...

1164
00:54:34,041 --> 00:54:37,378
- So that was my experience with the boobs.
- Okay. What-- Okay.

1165
00:54:37,378 --> 00:54:38,879
So this... this is a big one,

1166
00:54:38,879 --> 00:54:41,841
but... but maybe, you know,
maybe we save this for later.

1167
00:54:41,841 --> 00:54:43,384
You are a friend of mine.

1168
00:54:43,384 --> 00:54:46,345
I invite any friend of mine
to ask me these questions.

1169
00:54:46,345 --> 00:54:48,347
I am not afraid to talk about it.

1170
00:54:48,347 --> 00:54:53,311
Do you foresee wanting to have
other physical augmentation?

1171
00:54:55,938 --> 00:54:57,648
- Possibly.
- [Will] In the future.

1172
00:54:57,648 --> 00:55:00,901
[Harper] When I first started
thinking about transitioning,

1173
00:55:00,901 --> 00:55:02,695
in terms of bottom surgery,

1174
00:55:02,695 --> 00:55:04,822
I was like, "Well, I'm 61."

1175
00:55:06,157 --> 00:55:07,742
"I'm not gonna be a--"

1176
00:55:07,742 --> 00:55:12,371
"I'm not out there
with a super active sexual life, really."

1177
00:55:12,371 --> 00:55:13,331
[Will] Yeah.

1178
00:55:13,331 --> 00:55:16,125
- But there's also the dysphoric side.
- [Will] Yeah.

1179
00:55:16,125 --> 00:55:21,505
Looking in a mirror and seeing something
that doesn't fit with how I feel.

1180
00:55:21,505 --> 00:55:22,506
- So...
- [Will] Yeah.

1181
00:55:22,506 --> 00:55:23,924
- [Harper] I don't know.
- Yeah.

1182
00:55:23,924 --> 00:55:25,926
- [Harper] That's a tough one to answer.
- Right.

1183
00:55:25,926 --> 00:55:29,513
But, uh... Was there
any more boob questions you needed?

1184
00:55:29,513 --> 00:55:32,308
- [Will] No, but I did wanna ask, however--
- Okay.

1185
00:55:32,308 --> 00:55:34,185
Have you been to the--

1186
00:55:34,185 --> 00:55:37,897
have you been in Nordstrom's Rack
since you've gotten your own rack?

1187
00:55:37,897 --> 00:55:40,274
- Very good. Very-- Very good.
- Ha-ha!

1188
00:55:40,274 --> 00:55:42,735
And Will Ferrell wins
the Best Joke of the Year award.

1189
00:55:42,735 --> 00:55:46,739
Thank you. I knew as soon as I said it,
I got Best Joke of the Year.

1190
00:55:46,739 --> 00:55:49,283
I hate analyzing comedy
because it kinda ruins it.

1191
00:55:49,283 --> 00:55:51,327
- In this case, it won't.
- You gotta break it down.

1192
00:55:51,327 --> 00:55:53,162
- You do-- [chuckles]
- [Will] You gotta.

1193
00:55:53,162 --> 00:55:56,916
-"Harper, What exactly did he do there?"
- But let me explain how he got there.

1194
00:55:56,916 --> 00:55:58,626
Will started with,

1195
00:55:58,626 --> 00:56:01,337
"When you got your new rack."

1196
00:56:01,337 --> 00:56:03,381
The connection is, "Did you go..."

1197
00:56:03,381 --> 00:56:04,882
"...to Nordstrom?"

1198
00:56:04,882 --> 00:56:06,550
- Ah!
- [both chuckling]

1199
00:56:06,550 --> 00:56:08,803
- [Will] God. Wow.
- And the two racks, different racks.

1200
00:56:08,803 --> 00:56:11,180
One of them's different,
but they're the same rack.

1201
00:56:11,180 --> 00:56:12,556
- [Will] Wow.
- Yeah.

1202
00:56:12,556 --> 00:56:14,934
[upbeat music plays]

1203
00:56:20,147 --> 00:56:22,817
- [Harper] Thank you.
- [Will] Seen any famous people today?

1204
00:56:22,817 --> 00:56:23,901
- [woman] No.
- [Will] Okay.

1205
00:56:23,901 --> 00:56:25,694
- [woman] Just you.
- [Will chuckles gleefully]

1206
00:56:25,694 --> 00:56:27,988
- [Will] Yeah! Whoo!
- [Harper] Yeah!

1207
00:56:30,199 --> 00:56:32,493
- [Will] Fireworks...
- [Harper] Fireworks world!

1208
00:56:32,493 --> 00:56:34,829
- [Will] This is gigantic.
- [Harper] Oh my God.

1209
00:56:34,829 --> 00:56:36,747
[music continues]

1210
00:56:37,706 --> 00:56:41,836
- Holy Nishiki!
- [laughs] I want something dangerous.

1211
00:56:41,836 --> 00:56:43,254
[Will] Ooh, Gator Gun.

1212
00:56:43,254 --> 00:56:45,965
Yeah, that's it.
Honey Badger. It's the Honey Badger.

1213
00:56:45,965 --> 00:56:46,966
- Set it down.
- Yep.

1214
00:56:46,966 --> 00:56:49,176
Pull the fuse,
or pull the sticker off the fuse.

1215
00:56:49,176 --> 00:56:51,470
- You're gonna light that, then run away.
- Light, and book.

1216
00:56:53,097 --> 00:56:54,348
[music continues]

1217
00:56:54,348 --> 00:56:56,308
How many clean undies do you have left?

1218
00:56:56,809 --> 00:56:58,853
I'm getting down to the...

1219
00:56:58,853 --> 00:57:00,354
- [Harper] Nitty-gritty?
- Yup, yup.

1220
00:57:00,354 --> 00:57:01,480
[music continues]

1221
00:57:16,370 --> 00:57:17,955
[music fades out]

1222
00:57:22,001 --> 00:57:25,796
[Will] So...
we're heading to Meeker, Oklahoma.

1223
00:57:25,796 --> 00:57:26,755
[Harper] Uh-huh.

1224
00:57:27,506 --> 00:57:30,885
[Will] And this is in the category
of places you would have visited

1225
00:57:30,885 --> 00:57:32,428
and not thought twice about.

1226
00:57:32,428 --> 00:57:34,847
And so what are you feeling?
What are you thinking?

1227
00:57:35,347 --> 00:57:37,975
I'm nervous and anxious, like...

1228
00:57:40,186 --> 00:57:41,687
You know I love these kind of places.

1229
00:57:41,687 --> 00:57:46,484
You know that I spent my life
driving back and forth across the country,

1230
00:57:46,484 --> 00:57:48,277
going to little towns like this,

1231
00:57:48,277 --> 00:57:50,988
stopping in bars,
drinking, meeting people.

1232
00:57:50,988 --> 00:57:53,782
But I just don't know if I can anymore.

1233
00:58:01,373 --> 00:58:02,208
Okay.

1234
00:58:03,292 --> 00:58:07,296
[Will] So you-- You're gonna call me
if... if it's feeling dicey.

1235
00:58:07,296 --> 00:58:08,464
I'm gonna-- You know what?

1236
00:58:08,464 --> 00:58:11,175
- I'm gonna put it on speed dial.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1237
00:58:11,175 --> 00:58:13,219
- [Harper] And you come running in.
- Yep.

1238
00:58:13,219 --> 00:58:15,012
[Harper] With that mug of yours.

1239
00:58:15,804 --> 00:58:18,349
- [Will] I could go in with you right now.
- No.

1240
00:58:18,349 --> 00:58:22,102
I would feel better if that were the case,
but I just wanna try this thing.

1241
00:58:22,102 --> 00:58:25,564
I'm not gonna have an exper--
I won't be able to try this on my own.

1242
00:58:25,564 --> 00:58:27,441
- I might as well try it now.
- Yeah.

1243
00:58:29,985 --> 00:58:30,819
Oh...

1244
00:58:31,904 --> 00:58:33,822
[tense music playing]

1245
00:58:43,207 --> 00:58:44,375
[inaudible]

1246
00:58:46,085 --> 00:58:47,545
[tense music continues]

1247
00:58:59,139 --> 00:59:00,808
[tense music building]

1248
00:59:03,227 --> 00:59:05,062
[bar music, noise fading in]

1249
00:59:12,361 --> 00:59:14,154
- [Harper] How you doing?
- [woman] Doin' well.

1250
00:59:14,154 --> 00:59:15,948
- How you doing?
- I'm doing good.

1251
00:59:16,615 --> 00:59:17,741
What's your name?

1252
00:59:17,741 --> 00:59:18,659
Dominique.

1253
00:59:18,659 --> 00:59:21,912
- Dominique. Harper Steele.
- [Dominique] Harper Steele.

1254
00:59:21,912 --> 00:59:23,205
What's going on?

1255
00:59:23,205 --> 00:59:24,456
[woman] Who are you?

1256
00:59:24,456 --> 00:59:26,584
My name's Harper. Who are you?

1257
00:59:26,584 --> 00:59:27,710
I'm Mama T.

1258
00:59:28,586 --> 00:59:29,461
You're Mama T?

1259
00:59:29,461 --> 00:59:32,006
- Oh yeah.
- All right. I heard about you.

1260
00:59:32,006 --> 00:59:33,132
- Yeah.
- [Dominique laughs]

1261
00:59:33,132 --> 00:59:36,010
I haven't heard about her.
Sorry about that.

1262
00:59:36,010 --> 00:59:38,220
- We's just messin' with you.
- Okay.

1263
00:59:39,013 --> 00:59:40,264
Y'all from Oklahoma?

1264
00:59:41,140 --> 00:59:43,100
No, no, no it's all right. I've been--

1265
00:59:43,100 --> 00:59:47,313
That's why I came in here.
I've been in a lot of bars in my life, so...

1266
00:59:47,896 --> 00:59:50,899
Trying to feel like if I can go back
to bars since I transitioned.

1267
00:59:50,899 --> 00:59:52,318
- That's the problem.
- [man 1] Yeah.

1268
00:59:52,318 --> 00:59:54,069
[music thumping in distance]

1269
00:59:55,446 --> 00:59:57,156
- [man 2] Whoa.
- [laughter]

1270
00:59:59,283 --> 01:00:03,746
- Oklahoma, thank you. Oh, thank you.
- [man 3] Harper, where you from?

1271
01:00:03,746 --> 01:00:06,790
- [Harper] I'm from, uh, Iowa.
- [Dominique] Iowa!

1272
01:00:06,790 --> 01:00:10,085
Yeah, Iowa, but I live in New York now.

1273
01:00:10,085 --> 01:00:13,255
- [Dominique] You're on the East Coast.
- I'm on the East Coast. Yeah.

1274
01:00:13,255 --> 01:00:15,466
[Dominique] How's that going for you guys?

1275
01:00:16,258 --> 01:00:17,426
Or gals. [laughs]

1276
01:00:17,426 --> 01:00:18,886
I... I-- Thank you.

1277
01:00:18,886 --> 01:00:23,599
I like... I like, uh, Iowa more,
but I can't make any money there.

1278
01:00:23,599 --> 01:00:25,309
- So...
- [Dominique] Oh really?

1279
01:00:25,309 --> 01:00:27,144
[Harper] Yeah, I write for TV.

1280
01:00:28,354 --> 01:00:31,815
I'm gonna text my friend.
He's parking the car out there.

1281
01:00:32,983 --> 01:00:34,318
- Hello?
- [Harper] <i>Hey.</i>

1282
01:00:34,318 --> 01:00:35,235
Hey.

1283
01:00:35,819 --> 01:00:37,029
- <i>Come on in.</i>
- Okay.

1284
01:00:39,406 --> 01:00:41,158
[Will] Hey. Hi.

1285
01:00:41,158 --> 01:00:43,577
[Harper] I want you to meet these guys.
These are my friends.

1286
01:00:43,577 --> 01:00:46,455
- Is this Will Ferrell?
- [woman 1] Yes, it is.

1287
01:00:46,455 --> 01:00:48,374
- [woman 2] For real?
- [woman 1] Yeah!

1288
01:00:48,874 --> 01:00:50,959
- This is my friend Harper.
- [Harper] How you doin'?

1289
01:00:50,959 --> 01:00:52,544
- Nice to meet you, bro.
- [Harper] Hey.

1290
01:00:52,544 --> 01:00:53,545
- Not a bro though.
- She.

1291
01:00:53,545 --> 01:00:55,631
- [Harper] It's a she, but that's okay.
- Oh. Sorry.

1292
01:00:55,631 --> 01:00:58,092
[Harper] That's all right.
You can try again.

1293
01:00:58,092 --> 01:00:59,343
- Yeah.
- [Harper] Yeah.

1294
01:00:59,343 --> 01:01:02,012
About a year and a half ago,
I transitioned.

1295
01:01:02,596 --> 01:01:06,475
And now Will wants to kind of go out
in the middle of the country with me.

1296
01:01:06,475 --> 01:01:09,311
- Oh my goodness. That's great.
- That's cool. Hey, it's...

1297
01:01:09,895 --> 01:01:12,064
I like your support for your friend.

1298
01:01:12,648 --> 01:01:15,776
No, that's amazing.
There's not a lot of that nowadays.

1299
01:01:15,776 --> 01:01:17,945
- You know?
- [Will] Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1300
01:01:17,945 --> 01:01:19,697
I got a lot of... friends...

1301
01:01:19,697 --> 01:01:21,198
[woman speaks indistinctly]

1302
01:01:21,198 --> 01:01:23,242
[Will] Do you have a lot of trans friends?

1303
01:01:23,784 --> 01:01:25,452
- Not trans, but they are bi.
- [woman] I do.

1304
01:01:25,452 --> 01:01:28,414
- [Will] Yeah? You do?
- Oh yeah. Sure.

1305
01:01:28,414 --> 01:01:29,998
- [indistinct chattering]
- Sure.

1306
01:01:29,998 --> 01:01:32,835
[Will] Wait, Harper,
these are Native American--

1307
01:01:32,835 --> 01:01:36,088
- They want to sing us a... Yeah.
- Native America, here we go.

1308
01:01:36,088 --> 01:01:39,341
So here we go. Here's a little bit
of Oklahoma and Native America.

1309
01:01:39,341 --> 01:01:41,510
[singing Native American folk song]

1310
01:01:48,600 --> 01:01:50,561
[singing continues]

1311
01:02:11,457 --> 01:02:12,458
[Will] Yeah!

1312
01:02:12,458 --> 01:02:13,417
- Whoo!
- [applause]

1313
01:02:13,417 --> 01:02:15,210
- Wow.
- [Will] Nice to meet you.

1314
01:02:15,210 --> 01:02:17,254
- Wow.
- [man] Welcome to Oklahoma.

1315
01:02:17,254 --> 01:02:19,965
- [Will] That's beautiful.
- Welcome to Native America.

1316
01:02:19,965 --> 01:02:22,176
- Yeah, exactly.
- [Dominique] Thank you.

1317
01:02:22,176 --> 01:02:23,135
[Will] Thank you.

1318
01:02:23,135 --> 01:02:25,220
["America" by First Aid Kit playing]

1319
01:02:30,976 --> 01:02:31,935
Wow.

1320
01:02:32,519 --> 01:02:35,314
- Be safe. So nice to meet you.
- [Mama T] Nice to meet you.

1321
01:02:35,314 --> 01:02:38,609
- [Harper] That was very--
- I tried to give you a bit of Oklahoma.

1322
01:02:38,609 --> 01:02:40,527
- That was very touching, buddy.
- Thank you.

1323
01:02:41,028 --> 01:02:44,031
- Enjoy your time here. Be safe.
- Thanks for comin'.

1324
01:02:44,031 --> 01:02:46,116
- Hey. Thanks for having us.
- Yup.

1325
01:02:46,658 --> 01:02:47,785
[Harper] Have a good night.

1326
01:02:53,874 --> 01:02:59,254
<i>♪ Let us be lovers
We'll marry our fortunes together ♪</i>

1327
01:03:02,382 --> 01:03:07,596
<i>♪ I've got some real estate
Here in my bag ♪</i>

1328
01:03:07,596 --> 01:03:09,681
<i>♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪</i>

1329
01:03:09,681 --> 01:03:12,226
<i>♪ So we bought a pack of cigarettes ♪</i>

1330
01:03:12,226 --> 01:03:16,939
<i>♪ And Mrs. Wagner pies ♪</i>

1331
01:03:16,939 --> 01:03:23,737
<i>♪ And we walked off to look for America... ♪</i>

1332
01:03:25,864 --> 01:03:27,282
- Hey.
- I'm Travis Cobb.

1333
01:03:27,282 --> 01:03:30,118
- Hi, Travis. This is my friend Harper.
- How you doing?

1334
01:03:30,118 --> 01:03:31,537
- Harper, Travis.
- Nice to meet you.

1335
01:03:35,666 --> 01:03:38,085
I used to come out
to these kind of places before

1336
01:03:38,085 --> 01:03:41,046
when I was... still a guy.

1337
01:03:41,588 --> 01:03:44,716
And then I transitioned,
and I got a little afraid because...

1338
01:03:44,716 --> 01:03:47,719
- You know what I'm saying. So...
- Yeah. No, don't be afraid.

1339
01:03:47,719 --> 01:03:48,804
[Harper] Yeah, okay.

1340
01:03:48,804 --> 01:03:51,849
- If you enjoy it, come out.
- [Harper] All right, thank you.

1341
01:03:51,849 --> 01:03:53,350
- You know?
- [Harper] Yeah.

1342
01:03:58,730 --> 01:04:02,693
- [man] Don't worry about it. You know?
- No, I think that's... that's good to hear.

1343
01:04:03,193 --> 01:04:06,363
That's not how I felt. I keep hearing
on the news all this terrible stuff.

1344
01:04:06,363 --> 01:04:07,447
[man] Are you happy?

1345
01:04:07,447 --> 01:04:10,117
Oh, I'm 100% happier. You bet I am.

1346
01:04:12,911 --> 01:04:14,037
Thank you.

1347
01:04:14,037 --> 01:04:15,706
Thanks, guys. Pleasure.

1348
01:04:20,586 --> 01:04:25,424
[Harper] I'm a little bit in shock.
And that's not on them. That's on me.

1349
01:04:28,010 --> 01:04:30,846
I'm not really afraid of these people.

1350
01:04:30,846 --> 01:04:32,014
[Will] Yeah, right.

1351
01:04:32,014 --> 01:04:34,850
[Harper sniffles]
I'm afraid of hating myself.

1352
01:04:36,268 --> 01:04:37,102
[Will] Whoa.

1353
01:04:38,437 --> 01:04:42,858
[Harper] And I'm like, "You are a freak.
What are you doing here?"

1354
01:04:42,858 --> 01:04:45,193
There's just-- That is sitting underneath.

1355
01:04:45,903 --> 01:04:47,487
And then... [sniffles]

1356
01:04:50,198 --> 01:04:51,199
Agh! [sniffles]

1357
01:04:51,825 --> 01:04:52,910
Yeah. [sniffles]

1358
01:04:53,827 --> 01:04:54,745
[groans]

1359
01:05:05,172 --> 01:05:06,089
Oh boy.

1360
01:05:08,842 --> 01:05:09,843
[Will sighs]

1361
01:05:11,303 --> 01:05:12,220
God...

1362
01:05:13,347 --> 01:05:14,598
Yeah, it's okay. I just--

1363
01:05:14,598 --> 01:05:16,892
- [Will] It's okay.
- I don't even-- Oh my God.

1364
01:05:16,892 --> 01:05:18,685
- [Will] Yeah.
- [sniffles, groans]

1365
01:05:21,647 --> 01:05:22,648
[Will clears throat]

1366
01:05:23,982 --> 01:05:24,983
[Harper sniffles]

1367
01:05:27,277 --> 01:05:28,195
Agh.

1368
01:05:29,446 --> 01:05:31,281
[voice wavers] Thanks, buddy. Ooh.

1369
01:05:31,281 --> 01:05:32,282
[sniffles]

1370
01:05:48,173 --> 01:05:49,424
[music fades out]

1371
01:05:49,424 --> 01:05:52,219
[Harper] December 2016.

1372
01:05:54,638 --> 01:05:56,598
"I know some mornings, like this one."

1373
01:05:57,099 --> 01:05:59,601
"I wake up without any connection
to the world,

1374
01:06:00,102 --> 01:06:03,271
positive that to connect with
a woman or a man,

1375
01:06:03,271 --> 01:06:05,565
I would have to lie and hide myself."

1376
01:06:06,316 --> 01:06:07,901
"That is very depressing."

1377
01:06:09,194 --> 01:06:12,781
"I dream of a world where I can lay
my vulnerabilities out there -

1378
01:06:12,781 --> 01:06:15,659
open for everyone
until they are my strengths."

1379
01:06:16,159 --> 01:06:17,577
"I am longing for this."

1380
01:06:19,830 --> 01:06:22,082
[Will] That's one of the things
I was gonna ask about

1381
01:06:22,082 --> 01:06:24,668
which we kind of haven't touched upon.

1382
01:06:25,377 --> 01:06:28,922
- I'm assuming you wanna start dating?
- Yeah.

1383
01:06:29,423 --> 01:06:31,091
- Yes.
- Right? And you wanna...

1384
01:06:31,883 --> 01:06:37,139
And you wanna go out
and go to the bar and pick up someone

1385
01:06:37,139 --> 01:06:39,850
or be picked up, that kind of encounter.

1386
01:06:39,850 --> 01:06:42,853
- I am a monogamous person.
- Yeah.

1387
01:06:42,853 --> 01:06:46,064
And I... I'm optimistic.

1388
01:06:46,064 --> 01:06:47,274
- [Will] Yeah.
- I'm 61.

1389
01:06:47,274 --> 01:06:51,278
But I would love to be
in a relationship again.

1390
01:06:51,278 --> 01:06:55,240
And are-- In your mind's eye,
are you interested in a trans woman?

1391
01:06:55,949 --> 01:06:56,867
- Uh...
- Sure.

1392
01:06:56,867 --> 01:06:58,660
- A man? Or... Yeah.
- [Harper] Sure.

1393
01:06:58,660 --> 01:07:01,246
- Sure. Yeah, sure.
- Okay, yeah. Gotcha. Okay.

1394
01:07:01,246 --> 01:07:05,250
I mean, for me, it sounds corny,
but the type is the one that--

1395
01:07:05,250 --> 01:07:07,419
- It's a blank canvas at this point.
- Yeah.

1396
01:07:07,419 --> 01:07:11,423
And the one that I can wake up
in the morning, drink coffee in bed,

1397
01:07:11,423 --> 01:07:14,342
and talk about the stupid movie
we watched the night before.

1398
01:07:14,342 --> 01:07:16,428
- That's the main thing. Yeah.
- That's--

1399
01:07:16,428 --> 01:07:18,638
I really have to say,
I know that sounds corny.

1400
01:07:18,638 --> 01:07:21,349
But I am waiting
for that experience to happen.

1401
01:07:21,349 --> 01:07:24,436
And I'm 61,
so the clock's ticking. [chuckles]

1402
01:07:24,436 --> 01:07:27,814
["Truck Drivin' Son-of-a-Gun"
by Dave Dudley playing]

1403
01:07:27,814 --> 01:07:29,816
[Will] State line. "Welcome to Texas."

1404
01:07:30,776 --> 01:07:32,944
[Harper] Yeah. "Welcome to Texas."

1405
01:07:32,944 --> 01:07:35,155
<i>♪ ...from Boston to St. Louis... ♪</i>

1406
01:07:35,155 --> 01:07:36,948
Take one of me kind of sexy.

1407
01:07:36,948 --> 01:07:38,617
<i>♪ I don't even know... ♪</i>

1408
01:07:38,617 --> 01:07:40,911
- [Will chuckling] Oh yeah!
- [camera clicking]

1409
01:07:40,911 --> 01:07:42,245
♪ '<i>Cause I like my women</i>... ♪

1410
01:07:42,245 --> 01:07:43,830
- On the count of three.
- Yeah.

1411
01:07:43,830 --> 01:07:45,373
[both] Texas!

1412
01:07:47,501 --> 01:07:48,919
<i>♪ So roll on, big wheels ♪</i>

1413
01:07:48,919 --> 01:07:51,046
<i>♪ Don't you roll so slow... ♪</i>

1414
01:07:53,256 --> 01:07:54,132
Whoa!

1415
01:07:54,132 --> 01:07:56,134
- [Harper] What?
-"Free 72-ounce steak."

1416
01:07:56,134 --> 01:07:59,471
[Harper] That's the Big Texan.
Okay. We're gonna go there tonight.

1417
01:07:59,471 --> 01:08:01,973
Oh, you gotta eat it in one hour though.

1418
01:08:01,973 --> 01:08:04,392
- One hour?
- I think that's what it said.

1419
01:08:04,893 --> 01:08:05,852
You could do it.

1420
01:08:05,852 --> 01:08:07,813
[Will] I mean,
I don't know if <i>I</i> could do it,

1421
01:08:07,813 --> 01:08:11,233
but I know of
a certain Victorian-era detective

1422
01:08:11,233 --> 01:08:13,318
who would find it delicious.

1423
01:08:13,318 --> 01:08:14,277
[Harper] No, no.

1424
01:08:14,277 --> 01:08:16,321
- [Will] Oh yeah.
- [Harper] Oh boy.

1425
01:08:19,282 --> 01:08:21,243
[music fades]

1426
01:08:21,243 --> 01:08:23,161
[indistinct chatter]

1427
01:08:27,415 --> 01:08:28,542
[woman 1] Yeah!

1428
01:08:29,459 --> 01:08:31,670
[scattered cheering, whistling]

1429
01:08:31,670 --> 01:08:33,171
[Will] Ladies and gentlemen,

1430
01:08:33,839 --> 01:08:37,342
the world's greatest private investigator,
Sherlock Holmes.

1431
01:08:37,342 --> 01:08:39,678
[cheering, applause]

1432
01:08:41,263 --> 01:08:43,014
[woman 2] Ricky Bobby!

1433
01:08:44,099 --> 01:08:46,935
- Not Ricky Bobby, Sherlock Holmes.
- [laughter]

1434
01:08:48,145 --> 01:08:51,481
- I packed this hoping--
- Yes.

1435
01:08:51,481 --> 01:08:53,817
- To get you at some point.
- And here it is.

1436
01:08:55,735 --> 01:08:57,988
- Oh boy!
- [Will] Hey! Hi, how are you?

1437
01:08:57,988 --> 01:08:59,990
- Blessed, brother.
- [Will] Nice to meet you.

1438
01:08:59,990 --> 01:09:01,741
[server] How do you want me
to announce you?

1439
01:09:01,741 --> 01:09:03,952
- Sherlock Holmes from London, England.
- [server] Yep.

1440
01:09:04,452 --> 01:09:07,247
- With his guest, Harper Steele.
- Harper Steele.

1441
01:09:07,247 --> 01:09:09,332
- Ms. Harper Steele.
<i>- Miss</i> Harper Steele?

1442
01:09:09,332 --> 01:09:11,084
- [Will] Ms.
- Yeah, Ms. Harper Steele.

1443
01:09:11,084 --> 01:09:13,044
[server] Ms. Harper Steele. Done.

1444
01:09:13,545 --> 01:09:16,715
We have Sherlock Holmes
all the way from London, England,

1445
01:09:16,715 --> 01:09:19,593
with his guest, uh... Harper Steele,

1446
01:09:19,593 --> 01:09:22,971
Ms. Harper Steele. And he has
one hour to eat a 72-ounce steak.

1447
01:09:22,971 --> 01:09:24,723
[tense music playing]

1448
01:09:28,393 --> 01:09:29,561
Oh, can I get a beer?

1449
01:09:43,575 --> 01:09:45,452
I'm eating out of nervousness.

1450
01:09:46,036 --> 01:09:49,247
As much as I've been in a fishbowl
in various times in my life...

1451
01:09:49,247 --> 01:09:50,248
Yeah.

1452
01:09:50,248 --> 01:09:52,000
...this trumps all of it.

1453
01:09:53,919 --> 01:09:55,420
[tense music continues]

1454
01:10:06,973 --> 01:10:08,475
[tense music continues]

1455
01:10:37,671 --> 01:10:39,464
[tense music fades]

1456
01:10:41,758 --> 01:10:42,884
[Will] Last night was...

1457
01:10:45,095 --> 01:10:49,683
The room started to feel
very... wrong to me,

1458
01:10:49,683 --> 01:10:54,437
and, I mean, the crowds
that come around you so quickly.

1459
01:10:54,437 --> 01:10:56,189
I was feeling a little like

1460
01:10:57,190 --> 01:11:00,485
my transness was on display, I guess.

1461
01:11:01,152 --> 01:11:06,116
And suddenly,
that sort of made me feel... not great.

1462
01:11:09,536 --> 01:11:10,578
You know? Um...

1463
01:11:10,578 --> 01:11:13,081
Oh, the saddest part for me is, uh...

1464
01:11:14,207 --> 01:11:15,125
[sniffles]

1465
01:11:18,503 --> 01:11:19,587
I just feel...

1466
01:11:20,463 --> 01:11:21,381
[sobs gently]

1467
01:11:23,258 --> 01:11:24,259
Oh boy.

1468
01:11:24,884 --> 01:11:26,845
- [Will breathes shakily]
- Oh! Okay.

1469
01:11:26,845 --> 01:11:29,222
I feel like I let you down in that moment.

1470
01:11:29,222 --> 01:11:31,099
- Oh, no, no, no.
- You know?

1471
01:11:31,099 --> 01:11:32,100
And... [hesitates]

1472
01:11:33,184 --> 01:11:35,061
I was like, "Oh shit. I got--"

1473
01:11:35,770 --> 01:11:38,231
[sniffles] "We gotta worry
about Harper's safety."

1474
01:11:38,231 --> 01:11:39,774
You know? Like, what... [sniffles]

1475
01:11:40,650 --> 01:11:43,903
That's where I just--
I feel like I-- Yeah.

1476
01:11:44,904 --> 01:11:45,864
[sniffles]

1477
01:11:45,864 --> 01:11:47,574
[solemn music playing]

1478
01:11:55,999 --> 01:11:59,461
[Harper] I was gonna read
some of the tweets we've been receiving

1479
01:11:59,461 --> 01:12:02,589
since we started this trip.
You wanna hear this one?

1480
01:12:03,214 --> 01:12:04,382
"Ah, very important

1481
01:12:04,382 --> 01:12:07,427
you have another gender bender
for the kids to see."

1482
01:12:07,427 --> 01:12:11,264
"It's so trendy and cool,
even Will Ferrell's doing it."

1483
01:12:12,182 --> 01:12:15,310
"It really sucks that Will Ferrell
shows up to his first Pacers game

1484
01:12:15,310 --> 01:12:16,561
with a trans woman."

1485
01:12:16,561 --> 01:12:17,812
"Who's that dude?"

1486
01:12:18,563 --> 01:12:20,398
Oh yeah, yeah. Here's a good one though.

1487
01:12:20,398 --> 01:12:22,650
"Will Ferrell stopped in Iowa City today."

1488
01:12:22,650 --> 01:12:25,403
"He and Ryan Reynolds are making
a road trip documentary

1489
01:12:25,403 --> 01:12:27,197
supporting trans kids and rights."

1490
01:12:27,197 --> 01:12:28,865
[chuckles] Ryan's--

1491
01:12:29,657 --> 01:12:32,577
I didn't realize
Ry... Ryan's a part of everything.

1492
01:12:32,577 --> 01:12:34,579
- Oh, here's one just about you.
- Okay.

1493
01:12:34,579 --> 01:12:36,122
- Wanna hear this one?
- Yes, please.

1494
01:12:36,122 --> 01:12:39,751
"Great,
a satanic Illuminati pedophile in Iowa."

1495
01:12:40,585 --> 01:12:42,504
[chuckles softly] And that's me?

1496
01:12:42,504 --> 01:12:44,589
Yeah. How do you feel about that?

1497
01:12:47,092 --> 01:12:50,887
It just feels ridiculous. I don't--
I have no emotional-- I mean...

1498
01:12:51,388 --> 01:12:55,809
That stuff, you can't underestimate
the damage that all that does.

1499
01:12:57,102 --> 01:12:59,813
When you're trans,
you ingest a lot of that shit,

1500
01:12:59,813 --> 01:13:01,398
and it sits in your head.

1501
01:13:02,065 --> 01:13:03,942
- Those tweets are in my head.
- Yeah.

1502
01:13:05,402 --> 01:13:06,986
[solemn music continues]

1503
01:13:17,288 --> 01:13:20,875
When... when hatred is pointed
at me and trans people,

1504
01:13:21,626 --> 01:13:23,920
they're like, "You're not a woman."

1505
01:13:23,920 --> 01:13:25,547
"You'll never be a woman."

1506
01:13:26,089 --> 01:13:30,301
Okay, I... you know,
I am a trans woman. I'm fine with that.

1507
01:13:30,301 --> 01:13:33,263
- But I am feeling something, you know?
- Yeah.

1508
01:13:33,263 --> 01:13:35,890
And it's not unhealthy.

1509
01:13:35,890 --> 01:13:39,477
It's made me actually healthier
in many respects.

1510
01:13:39,477 --> 01:13:41,312
- Yeah, yeah.
- It saved my life, I think.

1511
01:13:41,312 --> 01:13:43,231
And I'm not joking about that.

1512
01:13:44,816 --> 01:13:48,736
Did you come really close
at any point to... to...

1513
01:13:50,113 --> 01:13:53,658
I know you had dark thoughts,
but suicidal though-- I mean, did you...

1514
01:13:55,118 --> 01:13:57,620
Was it that intense at times?

1515
01:13:58,872 --> 01:14:00,665
- Yes.
- Yeah.

1516
01:14:01,166 --> 01:14:02,750
- Yes, I, uh...
- Yeah.

1517
01:14:02,750 --> 01:14:06,546
[Harper] I'm gonna say...
six years ago, maybe,

1518
01:14:07,130 --> 01:14:08,673
I went to the gun place,

1519
01:14:09,507 --> 01:14:11,509
and... [chuckles] ...the guy,

1520
01:14:12,594 --> 01:14:13,636
he asked me, uh,

1521
01:14:13,636 --> 01:14:17,849
"Is it for, uh, targets,
or is it for, uh, security?"

1522
01:14:18,600 --> 01:14:21,519
And I was like, "Oh," uh,
'cause I know nothing about guns.

1523
01:14:21,519 --> 01:14:24,355
- Me neither. [chuckles]
- Right, and I'm like, "Um..."

1524
01:14:25,064 --> 01:14:26,941
"Uh... well, yeah, maybe both."

1525
01:14:26,941 --> 01:14:29,402
"I'm in a kinda isolated house."
I'm trying to lie.

1526
01:14:30,403 --> 01:14:32,238
So I picked it up,
and I was looking at it,

1527
01:14:32,238 --> 01:14:33,823
and I was super scared.

1528
01:14:34,407 --> 01:14:36,117
- Golly.
- I walked out of there.

1529
01:14:36,117 --> 01:14:38,661
I was just like,
"Okay. I'm gonna come back."

1530
01:14:38,661 --> 01:14:40,038
"I'm gonna think about it."

1531
01:14:40,038 --> 01:14:42,665
Up until the moment,
really, I transitioned,

1532
01:14:42,665 --> 01:14:44,876
I didn't wanna have a gun around me.

1533
01:14:45,418 --> 01:14:48,254
- Because it could be an impulsive thing.
- [Will] Yeah.

1534
01:14:48,254 --> 01:14:52,300
Because there was definitely moments
where I thought, "I wish I had that gun."

1535
01:14:52,884 --> 01:14:56,054
But the moment I transitioned,

1536
01:14:56,054 --> 01:14:57,639
all I wanted to do was live.

1537
01:14:57,639 --> 01:14:58,640
- Oh.
- Just live.

1538
01:14:58,640 --> 01:15:00,558
Live and... and continue on the path...

1539
01:15:00,558 --> 01:15:02,560
Oh my God. I got this free gift.

1540
01:15:02,560 --> 01:15:03,686
...being really who you are.

1541
01:15:03,686 --> 01:15:04,604
- Yes.
- Wow.

1542
01:15:04,604 --> 01:15:06,147
[poignant music playing]

1543
01:15:20,954 --> 01:15:22,372
[poignant music continues]

1544
01:15:38,304 --> 01:15:41,015
[Forte] This is already awesome.

1545
01:15:43,560 --> 01:15:49,482
I feel such a strong
Albuquerque connection with Harper

1546
01:15:49,482 --> 01:15:52,860
because I was here working on <i>MacGruber</i>

1547
01:15:52,860 --> 01:15:56,364
when we all first found out
that you were transitioning.

1548
01:15:57,115 --> 01:16:00,952
And it was here
exactly one year ago today.

1549
01:16:03,496 --> 01:16:04,706
[Harper] I will say

1550
01:16:04,706 --> 01:16:08,376
part of me feels like I should have
made that decision 40 years ago,

1551
01:16:08,960 --> 01:16:11,379
but I wouldn't have met you guys.

1552
01:16:11,379 --> 01:16:15,550
I would not have gotten hired at--
started a comedy world, probably.

1553
01:16:15,550 --> 01:16:17,927
- I would have had a different life, so...
- Yeah.

1554
01:16:17,927 --> 01:16:19,929
Too many good things happened.

1555
01:16:23,308 --> 01:16:26,603
[Forte] Ooh! Are you guys feeling
the same thing I'm feeling? A little--

1556
01:16:26,603 --> 01:16:29,647
- Yeah, it's pretty high.
- Wait. Hold on. Hold on.

1557
01:16:29,647 --> 01:16:31,482
- [distant barking]
- [Forte] What is it?

1558
01:16:31,482 --> 01:16:34,527
- You guys hear those dogs down there?
- Yeah, yeah, I do.

1559
01:16:34,527 --> 01:16:36,779
[distant dogs barking]

1560
01:16:36,779 --> 01:16:37,739
Yeah, do--

1561
01:16:38,489 --> 01:16:39,991
- Quiet!
- [Harper chuckles]

1562
01:16:40,491 --> 01:16:41,868
Shut your dog up!

1563
01:16:42,619 --> 01:16:43,703
[Harper chuckling]

1564
01:16:43,703 --> 01:16:45,872
- Shut your damn dog up!
- [Harper chuckles]

1565
01:16:45,872 --> 01:16:47,582
[dogs continue barking]

1566
01:16:47,582 --> 01:16:50,376
[Will] The neighborhood
is sick and tired of your dog!

1567
01:16:50,376 --> 01:16:51,919
[Forte and Harper snickering]

1568
01:16:51,919 --> 01:16:53,296
[dogs barking]

1569
01:16:53,296 --> 01:16:55,131
Now more dogs are barking!

1570
01:16:55,131 --> 01:16:57,091
[laughter]

1571
01:16:57,091 --> 01:16:59,093
[uplifting music playing]

1572
01:17:02,013 --> 01:17:03,890
- [Harper] Oh my goodness.
- [Will] Wow.

1573
01:17:03,890 --> 01:17:07,226
- [Harper] Make a toast.
- [Forte] It is an honor to be here.

1574
01:17:07,226 --> 01:17:11,439
I have so much respect for you
and the journey that you've gone on,

1575
01:17:11,439 --> 01:17:14,484
and I'm... I could not be more proud of you

1576
01:17:14,484 --> 01:17:18,071
and... and love, uh, love you very much.

1577
01:17:18,071 --> 01:17:19,822
- Thank you so much.
- To you. To both of you.

1578
01:17:19,822 --> 01:17:22,533
And here's to, uh,
a good rest of the journey.

1579
01:17:23,910 --> 01:17:25,453
I'm gonna really pop it.

1580
01:17:25,453 --> 01:17:26,746
Okay. All right.

1581
01:17:26,746 --> 01:17:28,122
[cork creaking]

1582
01:17:35,296 --> 01:17:36,172
[weak pop]

1583
01:17:36,172 --> 01:17:38,341
[all giggling]

1584
01:17:38,341 --> 01:17:41,260
["Diesel Smoke, Dangerous Curves"
by Red Simpson playing]

1585
01:17:42,345 --> 01:17:43,513
[all chuckling]

1586
01:17:46,349 --> 01:17:48,726
<i>♪ I'm a-drivin' this truck
On a mountain road ♪</i>

1587
01:17:48,726 --> 01:17:50,687
<i>♪ I got a hot rod rig
And I'm a-flyin' low ♪</i>

1588
01:17:50,687 --> 01:17:52,980
<i>♪ My eyes are filled with diesel smoke ♪</i>

1589
01:17:52,980 --> 01:17:55,441
<i>♪ Hairpin curves ain't no joke ♪</i>

1590
01:17:55,441 --> 01:17:57,318
<i>♪ Diesel smoke... ♪</i>

1591
01:17:59,737 --> 01:18:00,905
[Harper] Whoa.

1592
01:18:00,905 --> 01:18:03,783
Whoa, Nelly.

1593
01:18:05,034 --> 01:18:07,412
<i>♪ I was out last night
Drinking beer with the guys ♪</i>

1594
01:18:07,412 --> 01:18:09,539
<i>♪ Got an achin' head and bloodshot eyes ♪</i>

1595
01:18:09,539 --> 01:18:11,666
<i>♪ I ended up with a pretty little dame ♪</i>

1596
01:18:11,666 --> 01:18:13,918
<i>♪ I didn't even know her name ♪</i>

1597
01:18:13,918 --> 01:18:15,837
<i>♪ Diesel smoke... ♪</i>

1598
01:18:16,421 --> 01:18:17,797
[Harper] We should call Kristen.

1599
01:18:17,797 --> 01:18:19,382
- We haven't heard...
- Anything.

1600
01:18:19,382 --> 01:18:21,300
...hide nor hair from that lady.

1601
01:18:21,300 --> 01:18:22,343
[outgoing call tone]

1602
01:18:22,343 --> 01:18:24,846
[voice mail] <i>At the tone,
please record your message.</i>

1603
01:18:24,846 --> 01:18:27,181
[Harper] Hey, Kristen,
it's Harper and Will.

1604
01:18:27,181 --> 01:18:30,101
Just checking in to see
how the song's coming,

1605
01:18:30,101 --> 01:18:32,520
if it's coming along.
And if it's not, that's okay.

1606
01:18:32,520 --> 01:18:36,524
And, uh, once again,
to echo what Harper's saying, no pressure.

1607
01:18:36,524 --> 01:18:38,151
- No pressure.
- But I just--

1608
01:18:38,151 --> 01:18:40,653
We would like to know how are you fee--

1609
01:18:40,653 --> 01:18:43,156
Are you happy
with the direction you have so far?

1610
01:18:43,156 --> 01:18:45,324
- Right. Okay. Yeah, thanks.
- [Will] Thank you.

1611
01:18:45,324 --> 01:18:48,202
["Diesel Smoke, Dangerous Curves"
continues playing]

1612
01:18:51,038 --> 01:18:53,166
[Will] Ooh!
Oh, oh, oh, oh, Dunkin' Donuts.

1613
01:18:53,166 --> 01:18:54,709
- [Harper] No.
- Why can't we?

1614
01:18:54,709 --> 01:18:56,461
- [Harper] No.
- Oh, just this once?

1615
01:18:56,461 --> 01:18:59,589
[mock whining] We never have
to stop again. Just wanted to stop once.

1616
01:18:59,589 --> 01:19:02,967
- This trip has been horrible.
- [Harper chuckling]

1617
01:19:02,967 --> 01:19:04,594
We haven't stopped once.

1618
01:19:05,094 --> 01:19:06,596
Wanted Dunkin' Donuts.

1619
01:19:06,596 --> 01:19:09,265
- This stupid trip.
- [snickers]

1620
01:19:09,265 --> 01:19:11,559
All we've done is talk to trans people.

1621
01:19:11,559 --> 01:19:12,810
[both chuckling]

1622
01:19:12,810 --> 01:19:15,396
- We've not done one fun thing.
- [chuckling]

1623
01:19:15,396 --> 01:19:17,440
Name one fun thing we've done.

1624
01:19:17,440 --> 01:19:19,942
- What are you talking about?
- Name one fun thing.

1625
01:19:19,942 --> 01:19:24,113
Okay. But... Really?
Maybe you're just hungry.

1626
01:19:24,113 --> 01:19:26,532
[mock crying]
I wanted to go to Dunkin' Donuts.

1627
01:19:26,532 --> 01:19:28,701
That's all I wanted to do.

1628
01:19:28,701 --> 01:19:31,370
I never get to do anything I want.

1629
01:19:31,370 --> 01:19:33,289
[Harper chuckling]

1630
01:19:38,252 --> 01:19:39,796
[music fades out]

1631
01:19:47,970 --> 01:19:49,514
[birds calling]

1632
01:19:49,514 --> 01:19:51,599
[Harper] Could someone
take a picture of us?

1633
01:19:51,599 --> 01:19:53,226
- [woman] Sure.
- Thank you.

1634
01:19:53,226 --> 01:19:54,310
[camera clicks]

1635
01:19:54,310 --> 01:19:57,522
- Is... The Grand Canyon was in the picture?
- Of course it was!

1636
01:19:57,522 --> 01:19:59,774
- [man] You got some canyon.
- Oh, okay.

1637
01:19:59,774 --> 01:20:01,901
- Where you guys from?
- [woman] Syracuse, New York.

1638
01:20:01,901 --> 01:20:03,110
- Oh, so--
- Oh!

1639
01:20:03,110 --> 01:20:04,278
I'm a New Yorker.

1640
01:20:04,278 --> 01:20:07,740
- New Yorker. We're on a road trip as well.
- Yeah.

1641
01:20:08,324 --> 01:20:11,160
- Harper transitioned...
- I transitioned, and we're just sort of...

1642
01:20:11,160 --> 01:20:14,205
We're kinda discussing
what that means for our friendship.

1643
01:20:14,789 --> 01:20:17,959
- Do you mind if I ask you a question?
- [Harper] Yeah, good. I would love it.

1644
01:20:17,959 --> 01:20:22,839
I'm just wondering how early you knew,
how early you wanted to.

1645
01:20:24,048 --> 01:20:25,800
I think growing up in Iowa,

1646
01:20:26,843 --> 01:20:29,929
it was so impossible
to think something like that.

1647
01:20:29,929 --> 01:20:32,723
- Uh-huh.
- [Harper] So I just think I couldn't--

1648
01:20:32,723 --> 01:20:35,393
I thought I was weird.
I knew something was weird about me.

1649
01:20:35,393 --> 01:20:37,061
I definitely knew that and...

1650
01:20:37,061 --> 01:20:41,816
But I also came around to thinking
that... the kind of weird I was was normal.

1651
01:20:42,316 --> 01:20:46,404
So about ten years ago, it just started
to explode in me a little more.

1652
01:20:47,113 --> 01:20:47,989
- And I just--
- Wow.

1653
01:20:47,989 --> 01:20:51,409
I kept fighting it and fighting it
and talking to therapists and...

1654
01:20:51,993 --> 01:20:53,452
- Yeah.
- You know what?

1655
01:20:53,452 --> 01:20:55,955
- I'm a retired therapist.
- [Harper] Oh. Oh, okay.

1656
01:20:55,955 --> 01:20:59,166
I had a patient very early in my career,

1657
01:20:59,166 --> 01:21:02,545
so now we're talking... 30 years ago,

1658
01:21:02,545 --> 01:21:04,130
and he came in and said,

1659
01:21:05,464 --> 01:21:07,592
"I'm happily married. I love my wife."

1660
01:21:07,592 --> 01:21:08,509
[Harper] Yeah, yeah.

1661
01:21:08,509 --> 01:21:10,845
"But I dress in her clothes
whenever I can."

1662
01:21:10,845 --> 01:21:13,556
- [Harper] Yeah.
-"And I don't think I'm--"

1663
01:21:14,599 --> 01:21:17,184
"I don't... I don't...
I don't know what I am."

1664
01:21:17,184 --> 01:21:19,896
- Yeah, yeah. How did you work through it?
- Yeah.

1665
01:21:19,896 --> 01:21:23,399
- I was very closed-minded about it.
- [Harper] Yeah, yeah.

1666
01:21:23,399 --> 01:21:27,194
Sort of afraid
to go into really unknown territory.

1667
01:21:27,194 --> 01:21:29,030
- It was unknown to me.
- [Harper] Yeah.

1668
01:21:29,030 --> 01:21:32,617
Can I tell you, I had a therapist
like that that sort of stopped me.

1669
01:21:32,617 --> 01:21:33,701
Ah, I... [sighs]

1670
01:21:33,701 --> 01:21:35,870
[Harper] And... and... and again, I'm not--

1671
01:21:35,870 --> 01:21:39,123
I stopped myself enough
that I don't blame anyone.

1672
01:21:39,707 --> 01:21:42,126
- Yeah, that's...
- I tried to be open and supportive.

1673
01:21:42,126 --> 01:21:45,254
But I know
that a lot of my subtle messages were...

1674
01:21:45,254 --> 01:21:46,464
[Harper] Of course.

1675
01:21:46,464 --> 01:21:49,634
- But I've got this my whole life.
-"But you love your wife and..."

1676
01:21:49,634 --> 01:21:51,135
[Harper] Yeah, I know. So...

1677
01:21:51,135 --> 01:21:53,554
-"You love your wife, your life."
- [Harper] Yeah.

1678
01:21:53,554 --> 01:21:55,681
-"Why would you do this?"
- [woman] You know?

1679
01:21:55,681 --> 01:21:58,267
- Surgery is a huge...
- [Harper] "Can you manage it?"

1680
01:21:58,267 --> 01:22:03,147
Yeah. I know that I was a blockade
in that man's-- in that person's life.

1681
01:22:03,147 --> 01:22:05,399
[pensive music playing]

1682
01:22:11,489 --> 01:22:13,491
- [Harper] Here's your blue chair.
- Okay.

1683
01:22:16,869 --> 01:22:19,956
[Harper] If you named that beer,
what would the name of the beer be?

1684
01:22:20,873 --> 01:22:22,333
- There's no question.
- Yeah.

1685
01:22:23,292 --> 01:22:24,710
Cornelius Danderhoff.

1686
01:22:25,336 --> 01:22:27,880
- Your beer's called Cornelius Danderhoff?
- Mm-hmm.

1687
01:22:28,798 --> 01:22:30,216
- Keep that name.
- Okay.

1688
01:22:32,385 --> 01:22:35,262
This is Dolores O'Brien.
I'm gonna drink her all up.

1689
01:22:36,806 --> 01:22:38,391
But I wanna show you something.

1690
01:22:38,891 --> 01:22:43,145
I have something very special
for my good friend Cornelius Danderhoff.

1691
01:22:45,189 --> 01:22:47,024
- Oh!
- It's a coat.

1692
01:22:48,442 --> 01:22:49,777
It's a beverage jacket.

1693
01:22:50,277 --> 01:22:52,029
It's a... a beverage--

1694
01:22:52,029 --> 01:22:55,741
Well, I don't think of-- I actually don't
think of Dolores as a beverage.

1695
01:22:55,741 --> 01:22:58,619
But I don't know
how you wanna think of it.

1696
01:22:58,619 --> 01:23:00,871
No, Cornelius is gonna love this.

1697
01:23:00,871 --> 01:23:02,456
Oh, just... huh...

1698
01:23:03,457 --> 01:23:04,500
Check this out.

1699
01:23:05,918 --> 01:23:07,461
Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho.

1700
01:23:07,461 --> 01:23:10,047
You look adorable, Dolores.

1701
01:23:10,589 --> 01:23:14,343
This new jacket of yours
reminds me of my own.

1702
01:23:14,343 --> 01:23:15,678
You look adorable.

1703
01:23:16,262 --> 01:23:18,848
- Oh, Cornelius. That's so sophisticated.
- Cornelius.

1704
01:23:19,348 --> 01:23:20,433
Guess what?

1705
01:23:20,433 --> 01:23:22,184
I have a surprise for you.

1706
01:23:23,310 --> 01:23:27,273
- Look how sharp you look, Cornelius.
- [chuckling] Oh, Cornelius. Really.

1707
01:23:27,273 --> 01:23:29,608
- Cornelius, you need to lose a few.
- [laughs]

1708
01:23:29,608 --> 01:23:32,820
- Well, help Cornelius lose a few pounds.
- I... [chuckling]

1709
01:23:32,820 --> 01:23:35,031
- Look how sharp Cornelius looks.
- Look at--

1710
01:23:35,031 --> 01:23:37,616
"Hey, hi. Would you like
to go on a date sometime?"

1711
01:23:37,616 --> 01:23:40,578
-"No." Well, that was a little forward.
-"My word!"

1712
01:23:40,578 --> 01:23:43,164
["The Swag" by Link Wray playing]

1713
01:23:57,553 --> 01:23:59,305
["The Swag" continues playing]

1714
01:24:05,102 --> 01:24:07,063
- Your first time?
- [Harper] Yeah.

1715
01:24:07,063 --> 01:24:09,940
- [Will] Swimming in a... public place.
- In a public place.

1716
01:24:09,940 --> 01:24:11,525
You're taking a chance.

1717
01:24:11,525 --> 01:24:12,526
[Harper] Yeah.

1718
01:24:12,526 --> 01:24:14,945
- I wanna make you feel at home.
- [Harper] Oh.

1719
01:24:15,446 --> 01:24:16,697
- So...
- [Harper snickers]

1720
01:24:18,741 --> 01:24:20,868
[Harper laughs heartily]

1721
01:24:23,037 --> 01:24:24,121
Mark Spitz!

1722
01:24:27,249 --> 01:24:28,459
Double cannonball!

1723
01:24:32,171 --> 01:24:33,089
Is it set?

1724
01:24:33,589 --> 01:24:34,465
[camera winding]

1725
01:24:34,465 --> 01:24:37,176
God, that's freakin' sexy.

1726
01:24:37,176 --> 01:24:39,637
- [Harper chuckling]
- Relaxing with Mark Spitz.

1727
01:24:40,471 --> 01:24:41,972
- [camera shutter clicks]
- Okay.

1728
01:24:43,724 --> 01:24:47,394
It's good. It's sexy.
I hope that comes out.

1729
01:24:47,394 --> 01:24:51,023
So swimming in a... a public pool.

1730
01:24:53,484 --> 01:24:55,361
I mean, I love it. I really do love it.

1731
01:24:55,361 --> 01:24:56,612
- Okay.
- [Harper] I love it.

1732
01:24:56,612 --> 01:24:58,906
I would've liked my suit
to fit better, honestly,

1733
01:24:58,906 --> 01:25:02,159
but I don't think I'm any different
than any woman on the planet

1734
01:25:02,159 --> 01:25:03,869
when it comes to bathing suits.

1735
01:25:03,869 --> 01:25:07,873
I'd be a little more comfortable
in a perfectly fitting suit, I think.

1736
01:25:07,873 --> 01:25:09,166
I think you look great.

1737
01:25:09,667 --> 01:25:13,462
Thank you. I really--
I... I do believe that you mean that. Right?

1738
01:25:14,046 --> 01:25:18,592
The irony that I have done
so many shirtless things

1739
01:25:18,592 --> 01:25:20,761
and things in my underwear or in a Speedo

1740
01:25:20,761 --> 01:25:22,763
is that I'm a fairly modest person.

1741
01:25:22,763 --> 01:25:24,515
No, I know that. I know that.

1742
01:25:24,515 --> 01:25:27,852
When it comes to comedy,
though, which you love...

1743
01:25:27,852 --> 01:25:30,437
- Whatever it takes.
- You will sacrifice yourself.

1744
01:25:30,437 --> 01:25:32,606
That's why I was excited no one was here.

1745
01:25:32,606 --> 01:25:37,862
'Cause I put the Speedo on, I used to be
kind of like comedically out of shape.

1746
01:25:37,862 --> 01:25:39,905
Now I'm like, "Oh boy." Not good.

1747
01:25:40,739 --> 01:25:42,783
[Harper] I mean,
I know you're being honest.

1748
01:25:42,783 --> 01:25:43,993
- Yeah.
- [Harper] Yeah.

1749
01:25:43,993 --> 01:25:46,495
I know you're a little overweight, uh,

1750
01:25:46,495 --> 01:25:48,497
in places
that you don't wanna be right now.

1751
01:25:48,497 --> 01:25:49,415
[Will] Right.

1752
01:25:49,415 --> 01:25:52,960
But when you put on that suit in D.C.,
you are a handsome man.

1753
01:25:53,460 --> 01:25:56,088
To our great looks.

1754
01:25:56,088 --> 01:25:58,465
["Ooh, Las Vegas" by Gram Parsons playing]

1755
01:26:04,096 --> 01:26:09,185
<i>♪ Ooh, Las Vegas ♪</i>

1756
01:26:09,185 --> 01:26:11,896
<i>♪ Ain't no place for a poor boy like me... ♪</i>

1757
01:26:11,896 --> 01:26:14,023
- What do you wanna do in Vegas?
- Not my favorite city.

1758
01:26:14,023 --> 01:26:15,983
- You're not much of a gambler.
- No.

1759
01:26:15,983 --> 01:26:19,445
Why don't you take me
to a very fancy dinner?

1760
01:26:19,445 --> 01:26:22,448
'Cause they've got
some five-star restaurants now in Vegas.

1761
01:26:22,448 --> 01:26:25,242
Oh, okay, even though
you have yet to pay for anything.

1762
01:26:25,242 --> 01:26:26,911
- Yeah.
- I'm not opposed to that.

1763
01:26:26,911 --> 01:26:28,662
- Okay.
- [Will] Let's dress up.

1764
01:26:28,662 --> 01:26:31,081
Like, I'm not gonna
pull a Sherlock on you.

1765
01:26:31,081 --> 01:26:32,166
Okay.

1766
01:26:32,166 --> 01:26:35,753
Maybe this is an opportunity
to have more of a normal experience.

1767
01:26:35,753 --> 01:26:38,964
It would make me feel good
because I feel like I would be

1768
01:26:38,964 --> 01:26:42,343
in another environment
that I haven't really been in.

1769
01:26:42,343 --> 01:26:44,136
Let's have a night on the town.

1770
01:26:44,803 --> 01:26:47,431
<i>♪ Ain't no place for a poor boy like me ♪</i>

1771
01:26:48,557 --> 01:26:50,809
<i>♪ Every time I hit your crystal city ♪</i>

1772
01:26:50,809 --> 01:26:53,729
<i>♪ You know you're gonna make
A wreck outta me ♪</i>

1773
01:26:56,023 --> 01:26:58,567
<i>♪ Well, the queen of spades
Is a friend of mine ♪</i>

1774
01:26:58,567 --> 01:27:00,444
<i>♪ The queen of hearts is a bitch ♪</i>

1775
01:27:00,444 --> 01:27:03,364
<i>♪ Someday when I clean up my mind
I'll find out which is which</i>... ♪

1776
01:27:03,364 --> 01:27:04,865
[Harper] Why, thanks, buddy.

1777
01:27:05,658 --> 01:27:08,953
- [Will] You gonna be okay in there?
- Yes. I'm gonna be in there.

1778
01:27:08,953 --> 01:27:12,206
I'm gonna look around,
and I am crossing my fingers,

1779
01:27:12,206 --> 01:27:14,708
hoping I can find
something fun for tonight.

1780
01:27:14,708 --> 01:27:17,044
- [thunder rumbles]
- [Will] I'll see you later.

1781
01:27:17,544 --> 01:27:19,505
- [Harper] Bye. Goodbye.
- Bye-bye.

1782
01:27:26,762 --> 01:27:28,138
[bell jangling]

1783
01:27:28,138 --> 01:27:29,723
[Will] Hi, how are you?

1784
01:27:29,723 --> 01:27:32,309
- I'm going to dinner with a friend.
- Okay.

1785
01:27:32,309 --> 01:27:33,227
Um...

1786
01:27:33,978 --> 01:27:36,397
But I... I just need a disguise.

1787
01:27:36,397 --> 01:27:38,190
I need... I need a realistic-loo--

1788
01:27:38,190 --> 01:27:42,653
- I don't want people to know it's me.
- So are you trying to change--

1789
01:27:42,653 --> 01:27:43,862
- I'm Will Ferrell.
- Oh.

1790
01:27:43,862 --> 01:27:46,156
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
- Very nice to meet you. Yeah.

1791
01:27:46,156 --> 01:27:47,741
So, yeah, I just--

1792
01:27:47,741 --> 01:27:50,828
Tonight, we wanna go to dinner
without a famous person.

1793
01:27:50,828 --> 01:27:52,079
- I see, okay.
- Yeah.

1794
01:27:52,079 --> 01:27:55,040
[man] Probably stick away
from some of the brighter colors

1795
01:27:55,040 --> 01:27:56,959
so it doesn't draw attention to you.

1796
01:27:56,959 --> 01:28:00,212
- Right.
- So do something more natural.

1797
01:28:00,796 --> 01:28:04,717
<i>♪ They call you Lady Luck ♪</i>

1798
01:28:06,302 --> 01:28:10,097
<i>♪ You're on this date with me ♪</i>

1799
01:28:11,307 --> 01:28:12,141
<i>♪ And yet... ♪</i>

1800
01:28:12,141 --> 01:28:16,228
This looks like... not someone who lives
in Vegas, but someone who visits, right?

1801
01:28:18,147 --> 01:28:19,315
[Harper] That's interesting.

1802
01:28:19,315 --> 01:28:21,608
- Dress sizes are crazy, don't you think?
- Yes.

1803
01:28:22,735 --> 01:28:24,403
- [Harper] I'll try that one.
- That is cute.

1804
01:28:24,403 --> 01:28:26,238
- Right? Thank you.
- Yeah, it is.

1805
01:28:26,238 --> 01:28:29,158
<i>♪ ...the best that I can do... ♪</i>

1806
01:28:29,158 --> 01:28:31,744
I like that.
That one looks better that way.

1807
01:28:31,744 --> 01:28:33,954
<i>♪ ...is pray ♪</i>

1808
01:28:44,465 --> 01:28:47,926
<i>♪ Luck be a lady tonight ♪</i>

1809
01:28:51,013 --> 01:28:56,143
<i>♪ Luck if you've ever been
A lady to begin with ♪</i>

1810
01:28:56,977 --> 01:29:00,397
<i>♪ Luck be a lady tonight... ♪</i>

1811
01:29:03,150 --> 01:29:04,234
[Harper] Oh, Will?

1812
01:29:05,527 --> 01:29:06,779
William.

1813
01:29:06,779 --> 01:29:10,240
<i>♪ Luck let a gentleman see... ♪</i>

1814
01:29:10,240 --> 01:29:12,368
[Harper chuckling] Oh my God.

1815
01:29:14,244 --> 01:29:15,788
What is going on?

1816
01:29:16,955 --> 01:29:18,415
Oh my God.

1817
01:29:18,999 --> 01:29:22,294
I'm not Will. I'm David Abernathy.

1818
01:29:22,294 --> 01:29:25,255
Oh, David Abernathy.
Do we have a reservation tonight?

1819
01:29:25,255 --> 01:29:26,465
[Will] We do.

1820
01:29:26,465 --> 01:29:28,092
- Oh my God.
- [Will snickers]

1821
01:29:34,640 --> 01:29:36,975
Oh, thank you, David.

1822
01:29:37,810 --> 01:29:39,436
- You sit here.
- Okay.

1823
01:29:40,062 --> 01:29:40,938
And there.

1824
01:29:42,731 --> 01:29:43,565
Thank you.

1825
01:29:45,776 --> 01:29:46,944
Oh.

1826
01:29:46,944 --> 01:29:48,570
Good evening, ma'am. Good evening, sir.

1827
01:29:48,570 --> 01:29:50,739
- [Will] Hello.
- Welcome to the SW Steakhouse.

1828
01:29:50,739 --> 01:29:52,658
- [both] Thank you.
- What a pleasure to have you.

1829
01:29:52,658 --> 01:29:55,119
- Thank you.
- Thank you. I'm David. This is Harper.

1830
01:29:55,119 --> 01:29:56,829
Hi, David. Hi, Harper. I'm John.

1831
01:29:56,829 --> 01:29:58,455
- Hi.
- [server] Pleasure to meet you both.

1832
01:29:58,455 --> 01:30:00,541
- [Will] I'm David Abernathy.
- You're Dav-- Sorry?

1833
01:30:00,541 --> 01:30:03,419
- David Abernathy.
- David Abernathy. I'm John Bortles.

1834
01:30:03,419 --> 01:30:06,004
I... I managed Bette Midler
for a little while.

1835
01:30:06,004 --> 01:30:08,048
- [John] Oh wow.
- And Air Supply.

1836
01:30:08,048 --> 01:30:10,050
- Glad to have you.
- [Will] Wait.

1837
01:30:10,050 --> 01:30:13,887
- I believe we'd love... two Montagues.
- [Harper] A Montague.

1838
01:30:13,887 --> 01:30:17,391
Excellent choice. I'll get that started.
One of our signature drinks.

1839
01:30:18,392 --> 01:30:19,268
Cheers to, uh...

1840
01:30:19,268 --> 01:30:21,812
- [Harper] Cheers to our little experiment.
- Yeah.

1841
01:30:22,521 --> 01:30:24,648
I don't know if it's working or not.
I can't tell.

1842
01:30:24,648 --> 01:30:26,108
[Will] I can't either, but...

1843
01:30:27,943 --> 01:30:31,572
This whole trip, obviously,
you're taking the heat off me.

1844
01:30:31,572 --> 01:30:32,698
- [Will] Yeah.
- Um...

1845
01:30:33,866 --> 01:30:37,578
And that's just not the life
of a real trans person.

1846
01:30:37,578 --> 01:30:39,913
But when I was in the Goodwill today,

1847
01:30:39,913 --> 01:30:45,002
I just felt way more comfortable,
and that's a bit of a result of this trip.

1848
01:30:45,002 --> 01:30:46,545
- Yeah.
- For sure.

1849
01:30:46,545 --> 01:30:48,338
- Like...
- [John] Another cocktail?

1850
01:30:48,338 --> 01:30:52,342
Yeah, I would love a,
uh... just a glass of... of Cab.

1851
01:30:53,510 --> 01:30:54,386
Thanks, John.

1852
01:30:56,138 --> 01:30:59,016
[Harper] Okay,
it's a complicated subject for me.

1853
01:30:59,016 --> 01:31:01,435
Sometimes, the better my makeup looks,

1854
01:31:02,019 --> 01:31:03,854
the worse I feel about my face.

1855
01:31:03,854 --> 01:31:06,273
Well... But you look...

1856
01:31:08,317 --> 01:31:09,276
You look great.

1857
01:31:09,276 --> 01:31:14,406
But there's something about...
the slow process of getting

1858
01:31:15,574 --> 01:31:16,992
used to who I am...

1859
01:31:16,992 --> 01:31:17,910
[Will] Yeah.

1860
01:31:18,577 --> 01:31:22,164
...that the... "prettier" I get,

1861
01:31:22,873 --> 01:31:24,791
the more I see the flaws.

1862
01:31:24,791 --> 01:31:28,670
I know what you mean. It's like, "Okay,
I'm putting 'my best foot forward...'"

1863
01:31:28,670 --> 01:31:31,757
[Harper] Right.
And I don't feel like I... I can-- Yeah.

1864
01:31:31,757 --> 01:31:33,842
It's making me very self-aware of my...

1865
01:31:33,842 --> 01:31:35,052
[Will] Right.

1866
01:31:35,052 --> 01:31:37,554
...unfortunately, very masculine face.

1867
01:31:37,554 --> 01:31:39,765
So I look in the mirror, and I--

1868
01:31:39,765 --> 01:31:42,976
- It's like this is getting closer.
- [Will] Yeah.

1869
01:31:42,976 --> 01:31:47,105
But now I'm like,
"Wow, I got a... I got more to do."

1870
01:31:47,648 --> 01:31:51,360
But having spent almost two weeks
with you now, I'm just like...

1871
01:31:53,195 --> 01:31:54,196
I'm just sorta like...

1872
01:31:55,697 --> 01:31:56,990
"I'm just with Harper."

1873
01:31:58,200 --> 01:31:59,660
I'm forgetting...

1874
01:32:00,577 --> 01:32:02,079
- [Harper] The dead name?
- The dead name.

1875
01:32:02,663 --> 01:32:04,456
It's just getting fully...

1876
01:32:06,166 --> 01:32:09,461
replaced, and I don't... I don't know.

1877
01:32:09,461 --> 01:32:10,420
I mean,

1878
01:32:12,047 --> 01:32:12,965
thanks.

1879
01:32:12,965 --> 01:32:17,844
Do you feel lucky sitting across the table
from someone who looks like this?

1880
01:32:19,096 --> 01:32:22,516
I feel very fortunate
to be sitting across the table

1881
01:32:22,516 --> 01:32:24,685
from Bette Midler's old manager.

1882
01:32:24,685 --> 01:32:26,144
- [Will] Old manager.
- Yeah.

1883
01:32:26,144 --> 01:32:29,106
- Do you think John-- Oh, here comes John.
- [Harper] Okay, good.

1884
01:32:30,691 --> 01:32:32,442
You think John knows it's me?

1885
01:32:35,821 --> 01:32:38,323
- [John] Nickel & Nickel Cabernet. Enjoy.
- Thanks, John.

1886
01:32:38,824 --> 01:32:39,825
My pleasure.

1887
01:32:40,659 --> 01:32:41,577
[Harper] Mm.

1888
01:32:42,619 --> 01:32:45,497
John is suspicious. So just be honest.

1889
01:32:45,497 --> 01:32:48,000
- [Will] John's onto me.
- Yeah, John-- [chuckling]

1890
01:32:48,000 --> 01:32:50,127
[both chuckling]

1891
01:32:50,127 --> 01:32:52,671
["Wagon Wheel"
by Old Crow Medicine Show playing]

1892
01:33:06,977 --> 01:33:10,981
Imagine someone
who goes on a trip with a friend

1893
01:33:10,981 --> 01:33:12,816
and is up for anything and everything.

1894
01:33:12,816 --> 01:33:13,775
Stop.

1895
01:33:13,775 --> 01:33:16,820
And there's literally one thing
they wanna do.

1896
01:33:17,613 --> 01:33:20,616
- One fun thing. That's it.
- We've done so many good things.

1897
01:33:21,116 --> 01:33:23,785
One fun thing that they dreamed about,

1898
01:33:23,785 --> 01:33:25,579
that <i>they</i> journaled about.

1899
01:33:26,538 --> 01:33:29,207
You never said
you journaled about Dunkin' Donuts.

1900
01:33:29,207 --> 01:33:31,043
I did journal about Dunkin' Donuts.

1901
01:33:31,043 --> 01:33:32,252
"Dear journal..."

1902
01:33:32,252 --> 01:33:34,087
If I could go, today's the day.

1903
01:33:34,087 --> 01:33:36,298
"...I have discovered something called..."

1904
01:33:36,298 --> 01:33:39,676
"Something that's changed my life.
It's a place called Dunkin' Donuts."

1905
01:33:39,676 --> 01:33:42,137
- [chuckling]
-"Each donut is my friend."

1906
01:33:42,137 --> 01:33:45,015
- No. [laughing]
-"I finally found my... my place."

1907
01:33:50,020 --> 01:33:50,979
[Harper sighs]

1908
01:33:53,065 --> 01:33:55,734
- Whew.
- [Will] This feels like a long way to go.

1909
01:33:56,443 --> 01:33:57,986
[Harper breathing heavily]

1910
01:33:57,986 --> 01:34:01,531
- [muttering]
- Are you okay? Want me to take the other--

1911
01:34:01,531 --> 01:34:04,076
- Yeah, could you carry all this?
- [both chuckling]

1912
01:34:04,076 --> 01:34:06,453
- [poignant music playing]
- [Harper] Oof!

1913
01:34:08,205 --> 01:34:09,498
[bird of prey screeching]

1914
01:34:10,082 --> 01:34:10,957
[Harper sniffs]

1915
01:34:19,132 --> 01:34:23,220
So... there's a few passages in my journal

1916
01:34:23,220 --> 01:34:26,264
that I just felt like
just talk to this very place.

1917
01:34:28,892 --> 01:34:30,769
[Harper] 11/27/15.

1918
01:34:32,187 --> 01:34:35,232
"Here we go into another holiday season
of uncertainty."

1919
01:34:36,441 --> 01:34:38,694
"Suicidal thoughts, regrets,

1920
01:34:39,194 --> 01:34:43,657
manic daydreams of a safe life
in small hidden houses away from the world

1921
01:34:43,657 --> 01:34:45,992
where I can create and live in peace."

1922
01:34:47,661 --> 01:34:51,081
"I fantasize about owning
an apartment in Mojave, California."

1923
01:34:51,957 --> 01:34:54,459
"I'm fixated on moving to Mojave."

1924
01:34:55,502 --> 01:34:57,421
"I can't get it out of my mind."

1925
01:35:01,091 --> 01:35:02,384
[music soars]

1926
01:35:06,722 --> 01:35:09,725
[Harper] "In December,
I found a house in Trona, California."

1927
01:35:10,475 --> 01:35:14,104
"It cost ten thousand dollars,
and I couldn't stop obsessing over it."

1928
01:35:15,397 --> 01:35:16,648
"I offered to buy it,

1929
01:35:16,648 --> 01:35:19,609
and now it looks like I will own it."

1930
01:35:21,278 --> 01:35:24,990
"My own space to dress like a woman,
walk around like a woman."

1931
01:35:25,991 --> 01:35:27,325
"Miles from anyone."

1932
01:35:40,505 --> 01:35:42,507
- [dog barking faintly]
- [music fades]

1933
01:36:00,817 --> 01:36:03,028
How... how long have you had it?

1934
01:36:04,654 --> 01:36:09,451
I bought it about six or seven years ago.

1935
01:36:10,160 --> 01:36:11,036
[sighs]

1936
01:36:12,537 --> 01:36:13,955
[sniffles, sighs]

1937
01:36:20,962 --> 01:36:22,339
Oh my God. [sniffles]

1938
01:36:22,881 --> 01:36:24,174
Yeah. Um...

1939
01:36:26,885 --> 01:36:29,221
And I just was looking for, uh...

1940
01:36:31,556 --> 01:36:33,350
some place to go where I could

1941
01:36:34,351 --> 01:36:36,019
get away from people and...

1942
01:36:37,521 --> 01:36:39,523
There's something I liked about this.

1943
01:36:41,024 --> 01:36:44,402
[Will] That it was just so...
so far away from everything else?

1944
01:36:44,402 --> 01:36:47,405
Yeah, it was just hidden
in a downtrodden community, and...

1945
01:36:47,405 --> 01:36:48,323
[Will] Yeah.

1946
01:36:49,574 --> 01:36:50,575
I felt I...

1947
01:36:52,869 --> 01:36:54,037
kinda fit in out here.

1948
01:36:54,037 --> 01:36:54,955
[Will] Mm-hmm.

1949
01:36:56,289 --> 01:36:57,415
Because...

1950
01:37:00,126 --> 01:37:01,294
[sobbing gently]

1951
01:37:02,879 --> 01:37:03,755
[sniffles]

1952
01:37:03,755 --> 01:37:05,131
Yeah. [sniffles]

1953
01:37:05,966 --> 01:37:06,800
I just...

1954
01:37:08,510 --> 01:37:10,428
I just hated myself so much.

1955
01:37:11,471 --> 01:37:12,514
[sobs, sniffles]

1956
01:37:13,431 --> 01:37:15,559
[sobbing]

1957
01:37:17,769 --> 01:37:18,645
[sniffles]

1958
01:37:21,940 --> 01:37:22,899
Fuck. [sniffles]

1959
01:37:23,483 --> 01:37:25,068
I just felt like a monster.

1960
01:37:25,986 --> 01:37:26,820
[sniffles]

1961
01:37:27,362 --> 01:37:29,281
- I fucking hated it. [sobs]
- It's okay.

1962
01:37:29,781 --> 01:37:32,242
[Harper] Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it is okay.

1963
01:37:32,242 --> 01:37:33,785
- Everything's okay.
- Yeah.

1964
01:37:34,494 --> 01:37:35,996
Yeah, so... [chuckles]

1965
01:37:36,746 --> 01:37:38,164
...I-- I kind of fancied,

1966
01:37:38,164 --> 01:37:42,002
um, a mid-century modern house out here,
and I would go to town on it.

1967
01:37:43,378 --> 01:37:47,716
And I'll show you inside, and you'll see
how it got vandalized. [sniffles]

1968
01:37:49,509 --> 01:37:50,886
[clattering]

1969
01:37:57,142 --> 01:37:59,019
[clattering]

1970
01:38:26,129 --> 01:38:27,839
I don't want... [chuckles sadly]

1971
01:38:27,839 --> 01:38:30,050
I just don't want anything to do with it.

1972
01:38:31,217 --> 01:38:34,179
[Will] I was just gonna say,
what's... what's the plan now?

1973
01:38:34,721 --> 01:38:36,598
- [Harper] Give it to somebody?
- Uh-huh.

1974
01:38:38,642 --> 01:38:40,310
[Harper sighs] I know it's, um...

1975
01:38:42,145 --> 01:38:43,605
I mean, I was gonna be a woman here.

1976
01:38:43,605 --> 01:38:45,857
That was it. I was gonna--
That was my plan.

1977
01:38:45,857 --> 01:38:48,610
I had no... There wasn't any way
to make it work either,

1978
01:38:48,610 --> 01:38:51,071
because I would've been afraid
of these people, too,

1979
01:38:51,071 --> 01:38:54,824
so I just was gonna close the curtains
and walk around this house,

1980
01:38:54,824 --> 01:38:56,826
and it was a safe space.

1981
01:38:56,826 --> 01:38:59,996
- Were you able to ever, like, dress here...?
- Yeah. I mean, this was--

1982
01:38:59,996 --> 01:39:03,166
- I worked in there in women's clothes.
- Yeah.

1983
01:39:03,166 --> 01:39:05,168
And I brought women's clothes with me,

1984
01:39:05,168 --> 01:39:09,089
and I... sat out here at night
in women's clothes.

1985
01:39:09,589 --> 01:39:11,383
I... I... I loved it. [sniffles]

1986
01:39:12,425 --> 01:39:16,388
But it just is not the path.
It's just not the way to do it.

1987
01:39:16,388 --> 01:39:18,682
It's not the-- You can't hide. It's not--

1988
01:39:18,682 --> 01:39:21,017
It catches up with you,
and it's just stupid.

1989
01:39:21,017 --> 01:39:23,687
And I don't wanna be
afraid of people anymore.

1990
01:39:23,687 --> 01:39:26,356
That's just sad and terrible.

1991
01:39:28,108 --> 01:39:30,276
- Yeah, I get to be in the world.
- Yeah.

1992
01:39:30,276 --> 01:39:31,945
- You know what I mean?
- Yeah, right.

1993
01:39:31,945 --> 01:39:33,071
And, also, like...

1994
01:39:36,157 --> 01:39:38,952
I don't have to lie to you anymore.
You know what I mean?

1995
01:39:38,952 --> 01:39:41,579
- [chuckling] Right.
- You're like, "Oh, you got a crazy house."

1996
01:39:41,579 --> 01:39:43,540
Yeah, it's my little thing I'm doing.

1997
01:39:43,540 --> 01:39:45,750
There's always a lie under there,
and I don't like that.

1998
01:39:45,750 --> 01:39:47,919
Yeah, I don't like
lying to my friends at all.

1999
01:39:47,919 --> 01:39:50,630
- And here you are.
- [Will] I know.

2000
01:39:50,630 --> 01:39:54,217
One of my really good friends,
and I just was lying to...

2001
01:39:54,217 --> 01:39:55,343
And I don't-- I don't--

2002
01:39:55,343 --> 01:39:57,762
Again, it's not the worst thing
that I was trying to be safe

2003
01:39:57,762 --> 01:40:00,974
'cause I didn't know how people
were gonna react. I was scared.

2004
01:40:01,599 --> 01:40:04,352
But no, I don't...
I don't want to do that anymore. I can...

2005
01:40:05,687 --> 01:40:09,315
I can-- I have a few secrets
that I'm not gonna let you have.

2006
01:40:09,315 --> 01:40:10,692
[sniffs] Okay?

2007
01:40:10,692 --> 01:40:13,820
Like, I-- There's some record places
that I'll never tell you about.

2008
01:40:14,738 --> 01:40:17,574
- I'll get it outta you.
- No, you won't. That's secret.

2009
01:40:17,574 --> 01:40:18,658
And, uh...

2010
01:40:21,578 --> 01:40:23,788
I stole something
from your house one time.

2011
01:40:24,789 --> 01:40:26,082
I already know what it is.

2012
01:40:26,082 --> 01:40:27,917
Oh. [chuckling]

2013
01:40:27,917 --> 01:40:30,170
You are a good friend. [chuckling]

2014
01:40:30,170 --> 01:40:32,547
["Holocene" by Bon Iver playing]

2015
01:40:34,716 --> 01:40:36,926
[Harper] Uh,
should we go do some fireworks?

2016
01:40:40,805 --> 01:40:45,018
<i>♪ Someway, baby, it's part of me
Apart from me</i>... ♪

2017
01:40:45,852 --> 01:40:48,813
- [Harper] Oh boy! Gimme your lighter.
- [Will] This is exciting.

2018
01:40:48,813 --> 01:40:51,399
- I'm gonna just gonna place this here.
- Okay.

2019
01:40:51,399 --> 01:40:54,277
- <i>♪ You're laying waste to Halloween</i>... ♪
- [Will] Okay.

2020
01:40:56,946 --> 01:40:58,239
- [both] Oh!
- [Harper chuckles]

2021
01:40:58,239 --> 01:40:59,491
[Will] Not toward me!

2022
01:40:59,491 --> 01:41:02,869
- [Harper] Whoa! Oh!
- Ah! [exclaims]

2023
01:41:02,869 --> 01:41:05,038
- [fireworks banging]
- [both gasp]

2024
01:41:06,498 --> 01:41:08,416
- [Will] Whoa-oh-oh-oh!
- [chuckling]

2025
01:41:11,044 --> 01:41:12,712
[Will] Gator Gun! Gator Gun!

2026
01:41:12,712 --> 01:41:14,339
- Gator Gun!
- [Harper] Gator Gun!

2027
01:41:15,215 --> 01:41:18,468
- [Will] Gator Gun! Gator Gun!
- Gator Gun! Yeah! [chuckles]

2028
01:41:18,468 --> 01:41:20,762
- [Will] Take that! Gator Gun!
- [chuckling]

2029
01:41:21,471 --> 01:41:23,306
- [Will] Gator Gun!
- [laughing]

2030
01:41:24,933 --> 01:41:28,061
<i>♪ Saying nothing, that's enough for me ♪</i>

2031
01:41:33,066 --> 01:41:35,527
<i>♪ And at once, I knew ♪</i>

2032
01:41:36,361 --> 01:41:39,989
<i>♪ I was not magnificent... ♪</i>

2033
01:41:39,989 --> 01:41:41,908
[fireworks whizzing, popping]

2034
01:41:47,247 --> 01:41:50,750
<i>♪ But I could see
For miles, miles, miles ♪</i>

2035
01:42:06,850 --> 01:42:08,643
[music fades out]

2036
01:42:10,854 --> 01:42:12,772
Oh-oh. Ah!

2037
01:42:13,481 --> 01:42:15,191
- Uh!
- What? What?

2038
01:42:15,191 --> 01:42:16,276
[mock cries]

2039
01:42:16,276 --> 01:42:18,736
- You-- It's our last day.
- Yeah.

2040
01:42:19,696 --> 01:42:22,198
- I'm not seeing what you're seeing.
- What does that say?

2041
01:42:22,198 --> 01:42:23,783
[Harper] Over there? "Dunkin' Donuts."

2042
01:42:23,783 --> 01:42:27,996
I think this trip was stupid if we didn't...
if we don't get to go to Dunkin' Donuts.

2043
01:42:27,996 --> 01:42:31,457
- [Harper] You gotta be kidding. Jesus.
- I think this whole trip was stupid.

2044
01:42:31,457 --> 01:42:33,334
There, I said it.
You wanted me to be honest.

2045
01:42:34,377 --> 01:42:35,211
Okay.

2046
01:42:36,337 --> 01:42:37,922
Okay, here we go.

2047
01:42:39,215 --> 01:42:40,675
- Guess what?
- Wait.

2048
01:42:40,675 --> 01:42:42,385
- Yes.
- Are you really?

2049
01:42:42,385 --> 01:42:43,303
Yes.

2050
01:42:44,387 --> 01:42:45,513
[Will chuckles gleefully]

2051
01:42:45,513 --> 01:42:47,932
[worker] <i>What can I get started for you?</i>

2052
01:42:47,932 --> 01:42:52,395
What do you like more?
Your classic donut or Munchkins?

2053
01:42:52,395 --> 01:42:54,689
- Do you have apple fritters?
- [worker] <i>I do!</i>

2054
01:42:54,689 --> 01:42:56,482
[chuckles gleefully]

2055
01:42:56,482 --> 01:42:57,650
Order something!

2056
01:42:57,650 --> 01:42:58,943
I need more time.

2057
01:42:58,943 --> 01:43:00,195
- No!
- No!

2058
01:43:00,820 --> 01:43:02,906
Just a... a classic glazed.

2059
01:43:02,906 --> 01:43:05,491
- Well, are you fucking happy? Come on.
- Yeah.

2060
01:43:05,992 --> 01:43:09,329
- I'm gonna pull over so you can just eat.
- Oh my God.

2061
01:43:09,329 --> 01:43:10,246
Mmm!

2062
01:43:10,872 --> 01:43:12,415
- And you know what?
- Yeah.

2063
01:43:12,415 --> 01:43:14,292
They're nice and cold.

2064
01:43:15,293 --> 01:43:17,253
- It's great.
- [chuckling] 3,000 miles.

2065
01:43:17,253 --> 01:43:18,213
Really great.

2066
01:43:20,340 --> 01:43:21,799
Is-- How's the trip now?

2067
01:43:22,634 --> 01:43:25,386
It's... honestly, it's, like,
the best trip I've ever had.

2068
01:43:25,386 --> 01:43:27,055
[both chuckling]

2069
01:43:27,055 --> 01:43:28,890
["The Weight" by The Band playing]

2070
01:43:28,890 --> 01:43:30,600
It's been a really good trip.

2071
01:43:34,604 --> 01:43:37,315
<i>♪ I pulled into Nazareth ♪</i>

2072
01:43:37,315 --> 01:43:40,276
<i>♪ Was feeling 'bout half past dead ♪</i>

2073
01:43:41,277 --> 01:43:43,488
<i>♪ I just need some place ♪</i>

2074
01:43:44,072 --> 01:43:45,740
<i>♪ Where I can lay my</i>... ♪

2075
01:43:45,740 --> 01:43:46,658
[woman] Harper!

2076
01:43:47,951 --> 01:43:49,786
- Oh my goodness!
- So good to see you.

2077
01:43:49,786 --> 01:43:51,246
[Molly] Good to see you!

2078
01:43:52,914 --> 01:43:58,044
Harper and Will, what... what has been
the best part of the trip, would you say?

2079
01:43:59,921 --> 01:44:02,298
Boy, we've had some great--
We've had a lot.

2080
01:44:02,799 --> 01:44:06,135
Was there anything you learned about Will
that you didn't know,

2081
01:44:06,135 --> 01:44:09,055
or, Will, that you learned about Harper
that you didn't know?

2082
01:44:09,806 --> 01:44:11,766
[Will] For me, I had no idea

2083
01:44:11,766 --> 01:44:16,479
the kind of... the despair that Harper felt
for so long, you know? It's like...

2084
01:44:16,479 --> 01:44:19,524
- [Molly] Mm-hmm.
- And she hid it really well. She hid it.

2085
01:44:20,358 --> 01:44:21,192
[Harper] Um...

2086
01:44:23,152 --> 01:44:25,113
What I really learned about Will...

2087
01:44:25,738 --> 01:44:28,741
Like, we've been friends for 27 years,
you know?

2088
01:44:29,617 --> 01:44:30,451
But...

2089
01:44:31,536 --> 01:44:32,370
[sighs]

2090
01:44:33,705 --> 01:44:35,206
Yeah. I mean...

2091
01:44:38,835 --> 01:44:41,921
I mean, he loves me.
You know what I mean? [chuckles]

2092
01:44:41,921 --> 01:44:44,048
He's watched me now break down.

2093
01:44:44,048 --> 01:44:48,219
I've watched that, what'd you call,
bag of cement break down too.

2094
01:44:48,219 --> 01:44:50,346
[Harper and Will chuckling]

2095
01:44:50,847 --> 01:44:52,724
[Harper] And... I don't know, it just...

2096
01:44:54,434 --> 01:44:56,686
He cared so much about this.

2097
01:44:57,895 --> 01:44:59,856
And cared about

2098
01:45:01,190 --> 01:45:03,651
making sure that I wasn't in pain and...

2099
01:45:04,777 --> 01:45:06,279
It just... Yeah.

2100
01:45:06,279 --> 01:45:08,614
I just... It was very sweet for me.

2101
01:45:10,241 --> 01:45:11,326
Yeah.

2102
01:45:11,326 --> 01:45:13,453
- [Molly] That's amazing.
- [Harper] Yeah.

2103
01:45:15,330 --> 01:45:17,040
Will, what color are you gonna go with?

2104
01:45:17,040 --> 01:45:17,957
[Molly] Green.

2105
01:45:17,957 --> 01:45:22,086
[Irish accent] Going with the color
of the homeland, the Emerald Isle.

2106
01:45:22,086 --> 01:45:25,340
- [Harper] So beautiful.
- [Molly] I love that, for St. Paddy's Day.

2107
01:45:26,632 --> 01:45:28,760
["America" playing]

2108
01:45:39,437 --> 01:45:40,772
[outgoing call tone]

2109
01:45:42,565 --> 01:45:46,652
God, what do we say? You don't wanna,
like, upset the artistic process.

2110
01:45:46,652 --> 01:45:49,447
- [voice mail] <i>Call has been forwarded to...</i>
- God!

2111
01:45:50,490 --> 01:45:52,784
<i>At the tone, please record your message.</i>

2112
01:45:53,493 --> 01:45:55,661
Hi, Kristen.

2113
01:45:55,661 --> 01:45:59,123
It's Will and Harper, and we're, uh...

2114
01:45:59,707 --> 01:46:02,502
Gosh, we've almost
officially made it across country.

2115
01:46:02,502 --> 01:46:05,671
We're gonna go down
to the beach here, and, uh...

2116
01:46:06,339 --> 01:46:08,049
- Well, we're just checking in.
- Yeah.

2117
01:46:08,049 --> 01:46:09,801
Hey, anything you wanna send us

2118
01:46:09,801 --> 01:46:13,096
in the next anywhere from two
to eight minutes would be great.

2119
01:46:14,514 --> 01:46:16,682
- Look at that. There it is.
- [Will] Yeah! Yeah!

2120
01:46:16,682 --> 01:46:18,351
- [Harper] The ocean.
- Beautiful.

2121
01:46:21,354 --> 01:46:23,481
- [Harper] It does feel good, right?
- Yeah.

2122
01:46:23,481 --> 01:46:26,651
- [Harper] I mean, it's a long drive.
- Yeah. I know. [chuckles]

2123
01:46:26,651 --> 01:46:27,819
[Harper] You know?

2124
01:46:30,822 --> 01:46:31,656
Oh!

2125
01:46:32,740 --> 01:46:33,991
- Wow.
- [Will] That's great.

2126
01:46:38,788 --> 01:46:41,624
We've dropped these chairs
in some very nice places, haven't we?

2127
01:46:41,624 --> 01:46:43,292
- Yeah.
- The Grand Canyon.

2128
01:46:43,292 --> 01:46:45,169
- [Will] Yep.
- The Mississippi River.

2129
01:46:45,169 --> 01:46:46,379
[Will] Mighty Mississippi.

2130
01:46:46,879 --> 01:46:49,090
[Harper] On a-- In a Walmart parking lot.

2131
01:46:53,469 --> 01:46:55,680
- I will never forget this.
- Yeah.

2132
01:46:55,680 --> 01:46:57,682
We'll never forget this trip.

2133
01:46:59,142 --> 01:47:03,688
Because if it's in a week
or six months from now...

2134
01:47:03,688 --> 01:47:04,605
Yeah.

2135
01:47:06,607 --> 01:47:07,859
...the joy... [chuckles]

2136
01:47:07,859 --> 01:47:08,818
Yeah.

2137
01:47:09,485 --> 01:47:12,363
...the joy I'm gonna feel just seeing you.

2138
01:47:12,363 --> 01:47:17,910
Which I always felt, but it's like,
man, I really got close to my friend Will.

2139
01:47:18,578 --> 01:47:20,079
- [Will] I still...
- Yeah.

2140
01:47:20,079 --> 01:47:23,708
I'm gonna think of something tomorrow
that I forgot to ask you.

2141
01:47:23,708 --> 01:47:26,210
I'm gonna think
of a bunch of stuff I should've said

2142
01:47:26,210 --> 01:47:27,712
that I wanted to tell you.

2143
01:47:28,296 --> 01:47:29,672
- But...
- We have time.

2144
01:47:29,672 --> 01:47:32,049
- [Will] We have time and...
- I mean, yeah.

2145
01:47:37,889 --> 01:47:39,515
I got you a little present.

2146
01:47:41,267 --> 01:47:42,602
- [Harper] You did?
- Yeah.

2147
01:47:43,728 --> 01:47:44,729
Because one of...

2148
01:47:45,521 --> 01:47:48,983
We've obviously had
this back-and-forth on beauty.

2149
01:47:48,983 --> 01:47:49,901
Yeah.

2150
01:47:50,485 --> 01:47:53,529
- And... being okay with--
- Yeah.

2151
01:47:54,572 --> 01:47:55,948
With kind of, you know...

2152
01:47:57,825 --> 01:48:01,204
Whether it's makeup
or finding the right dress, it... it--

2153
01:48:01,204 --> 01:48:05,791
making yourself feel good
as a woman, beautiful.

2154
01:48:06,667 --> 01:48:09,462
So... I thought to myself,

2155
01:48:09,462 --> 01:48:12,298
"I know what I wanna get Harper
at the end of the thing."

2156
01:48:14,008 --> 01:48:15,760
Her own pair of diamond earrings.

2157
01:48:15,760 --> 01:48:18,346
- Not diamond earrings. Really?
- [Will] Yeah.

2158
01:48:19,680 --> 01:48:21,933
[chuckles emotionally, sniffles]

2159
01:48:21,933 --> 01:48:23,392
[tearfully] Oh my God.

2160
01:48:25,353 --> 01:48:26,187
So...

2161
01:48:29,398 --> 01:48:30,233
Just to...

2162
01:48:31,692 --> 01:48:32,693
[Harper sniffles]

2163
01:48:32,693 --> 01:48:35,404
Just as kind of obviously
a memory of the trip,

2164
01:48:35,404 --> 01:48:37,281
but just, like, it's okay to...

2165
01:48:39,116 --> 01:48:42,787
It's okay to feel pretty
and do nice, pretty things for yourself.

2166
01:48:44,121 --> 01:48:45,831
Oh jeez. [chuckles, sniffles]

2167
01:48:51,921 --> 01:48:53,214
[chuckles emotionally]

2168
01:48:53,214 --> 01:48:55,216
- I don't-- Jeez.
- [Will giggles]

2169
01:48:55,800 --> 01:48:58,094
It's just so cool. [chuckling]

2170
01:48:58,094 --> 01:49:00,304
- It's just so sweet.
- [Will chuckles]

2171
01:49:00,304 --> 01:49:02,723
- [both chuckling]
- [Harper] You know?

2172
01:49:02,723 --> 01:49:04,058
This is very special.

2173
01:49:05,059 --> 01:49:07,228
- I'm going in. I'm going in!
- [Will] Whoa!

2174
01:49:07,228 --> 01:49:08,354
[Harper chuckles]

2175
01:49:09,939 --> 01:49:11,607
[giggling]

2176
01:49:11,607 --> 01:49:13,109
Hey, it's pretty good!

2177
01:49:15,611 --> 01:49:16,445
Dolores.

2178
01:49:17,947 --> 01:49:18,864
[Will] Cornelius.

2179
01:49:20,074 --> 01:49:21,117
So what's next?

2180
01:49:22,827 --> 01:49:23,828
[Harper] For me,

2181
01:49:25,204 --> 01:49:27,331
tomorrow, I'm running it back.

2182
01:49:27,331 --> 01:49:30,585
I gotta get back to New York,
so I'm gonna drive back across.

2183
01:49:31,502 --> 01:49:33,212
What are you doing, by the way?

2184
01:49:33,796 --> 01:49:36,382
[Will] I've literally got nothing.
I'm wide open.

2185
01:49:37,091 --> 01:49:40,052
- You wanna go back with me?
- Yeah, let's just run it back.

2186
01:49:40,052 --> 01:49:42,221
- Take a new route.
- New route. Great.

2187
01:49:42,805 --> 01:49:44,265
- I got a lot of ideas.
- Yeah.

2188
01:49:44,265 --> 01:49:47,059
- I got some fun places to stop.
- I can't wait.

2189
01:49:47,643 --> 01:49:48,978
<i>♪ Take a ride ♪</i>

2190
01:49:50,104 --> 01:49:52,940
<i>♪ Let us see now what goes on inside ♪</i>

2191
01:49:53,983 --> 01:49:56,611
<i>♪ Let's reveal what others try to hide ♪</i>

2192
01:49:57,903 --> 01:50:00,489
<i>♪ Baby, go with me ♪</i>

2193
01:50:01,365 --> 01:50:03,659
<i>♪ I love you, baby ♪</i>

2194
01:50:03,659 --> 01:50:05,411
<i>♪ Take my hand ♪</i>

2195
01:50:06,203 --> 01:50:09,206
<i>♪ I'm afraid to travel through this land ♪</i>

2196
01:50:10,166 --> 01:50:12,918
<i>♪ I'm afraid that I won't understand ♪</i>

2197
01:50:13,961 --> 01:50:16,631
<i>♪ Baby, take my hand ♪</i>

2198
01:50:17,548 --> 01:50:19,383
<i>♪ I love you, baby ♪</i>

2199
01:50:19,383 --> 01:50:23,429
<i>- ♪ Stay... ♪
- Hey, it's Kristen. Um, I...</i>

2200
01:50:24,305 --> 01:50:27,099
[chuckles] <i>I think
I finished the song? Um</i>...

2201
01:50:27,725 --> 01:50:30,978
<i>And, oh my gosh, I... I hope you like it.</i>

2202
01:50:32,396 --> 01:50:33,439
<i>Okay, here it is.</i>

2203
01:50:34,732 --> 01:50:36,609
{\an8}[fun, jazzy ukelele music playing]

2204
01:50:39,570 --> 01:50:42,657
{\an8}<i>♪ Harper and Will go west ♪</i>

2205
01:50:43,949 --> 01:50:46,118
{\an8}<i>♪ Just a couple old friends ♪</i>

2206
01:50:46,118 --> 01:50:48,913
{\an8}<i>♪ And a couple brand-new breasts ♪</i>

2207
01:50:48,913 --> 01:50:51,791
{\an8}<i>♪ They're off to see America ♪</i>

2208
01:50:51,791 --> 01:50:54,335
{\an8}<i>♪ Not sure what they'll find ♪</i>

2209
01:50:54,335 --> 01:50:56,962
{\an8}<i>♪ Open to the open road ♪</i>

2210
01:50:56,962 --> 01:50:58,881
{\an8}<i>♪ Only to be reminded ♪</i>

2211
01:50:58,881 --> 01:51:03,135
{\an8}<i>♪ That a friend is a friend is a friend ♪</i>

2212
01:51:03,969 --> 01:51:05,304
{\an8}<i>♪ Till the end ♪</i>

2213
01:51:08,641 --> 01:51:10,601
{\an8}<i>♪ Coast-to-coast ♪</i>

2214
01:51:11,644 --> 01:51:15,898
{\an8}<i>♪ Takes 3,000 miles to get this close ♪</i>

2215
01:51:17,108 --> 01:51:18,984
{\an8}<i>♪ Did Lewis and Clark ♪</i>

2216
01:51:18,984 --> 01:51:23,572
{\an8}<i>♪ Dare to go to these emotional places? ♪</i>

2217
01:51:23,572 --> 01:51:26,158
{\an8}<i>♪ This is a greater unknown ♪</i>

2218
01:51:26,158 --> 01:51:29,620
{\an8}<i>♪ So I think my two are the bravest ♪</i>

2219
01:51:29,620 --> 01:51:32,707
{\an8}<i>♪ Harper and Will go west ♪</i>

2220
01:51:34,041 --> 01:51:36,168
{\an8}<i>♪ Like Thelma and Louise ♪</i>

2221
01:51:36,168 --> 01:51:38,963
{\an8}<i>♪ But with a lot less death ♪</i>

2222
01:51:38,963 --> 01:51:41,757
{\an8}<i>♪ They're off to see America ♪</i>

2223
01:51:41,757 --> 01:51:43,926
{\an8}<i>♪ Just one girl and a guy ♪</i>

2224
01:51:44,552 --> 01:51:46,762
{\an8}<i>♪ Open to the open road ♪</i>

2225
01:51:46,762 --> 01:51:48,889
{\an8}<i>♪ Only to be reminded ♪</i>

2226
01:51:48,889 --> 01:51:53,686
{\an8}<i>♪ That a friend is a friend is a friend ♪</i>

2227
01:51:54,270 --> 01:51:55,438
{\an8}<i>♪ Till the end ♪</i>

2228
01:51:58,399 --> 01:52:00,609
{\an8}<i>♪ They'll find their way ♪</i>

2229
01:52:01,944 --> 01:52:05,656
{\an8}<i>♪ Even when they don't know what to say ♪</i>

2230
01:52:06,407 --> 01:52:10,244
{\an8}<i>♪ Known each other for forever and a day ♪</i>

2231
01:52:10,244 --> 01:52:13,289
{\an8}<i>♪ On a path to find themselves ♪</i>

2232
01:52:14,081 --> 01:52:16,083
{\an8}<i>♪ A magical woman ♪</i>

2233
01:52:16,083 --> 01:52:18,919
{\an8}<i>♪ Riding with her grown-up elf ♪</i>

2234
01:52:18,919 --> 01:52:23,632
{\an8}<i>♪ And, ooh, this is the jazzy part ♪</i>

2235
01:52:23,632 --> 01:52:28,929
{\an8}<i>♪ I assume there's no room in the car ♪</i>

2236
01:52:28,929 --> 01:52:34,268
{\an8}<i>♪ For me, or I'd have been invited ♪</i>

2237
01:52:34,268 --> 01:52:36,854
{\an8}<i>♪ But I'll play my part ♪</i>

2238
01:52:36,854 --> 01:52:39,982
{\an8}<i>♪ This one's from the heart ♪</i>

2239
01:52:39,982 --> 01:52:42,818
{\an8}<i>♪ Harper and Will go west ♪</i>

2240
01:52:44,612 --> 01:52:46,614
{\an8}<i>♪ Not prospecting for gold ♪</i>

2241
01:52:46,614 --> 01:52:49,325
{\an8}<i>♪ This is a richer quest ♪</i>

2242
01:52:49,325 --> 01:52:52,328
{\an8}<i>♪ They're off to see America ♪</i>

2243
01:52:52,328 --> 01:52:54,914
{\an8}<i>♪ Follow their own signs ♪</i>

2244
01:52:54,914 --> 01:52:57,249
{\an8}<i>♪ Open to the open road ♪</i>

2245
01:52:57,249 --> 01:52:59,293
{\an8}<i>♪ Only to be reminded ♪</i>

2246
01:52:59,293 --> 01:53:04,673
{\an8}<i>♪ That a friend is a friend
Is a friend is a friend ♪</i>

2247
01:53:04,673 --> 01:53:09,136
{\an8}<i>♪ A friend is a friend is a friend ♪</i>

2248
01:53:09,136 --> 01:53:10,971
{\an8}<i>♪ Till the end ♪</i>

2249
01:53:14,350 --> 01:53:15,935
{\an8}<i>♪ Till the end ♪</i>

2250
01:53:22,650 --> 01:53:25,611
- [Will] You may wanna get into the lane.
- [Harper] What lane am I in?

2251
01:53:25,611 --> 01:53:28,447
{\an8}- [Will] Yeah, you're in-- Yes.
- Thank you. Thank you very much.

2252
01:53:28,447 --> 01:53:31,075
{\an8}[both laughing]

2253
01:53:58,227 --> 01:54:00,229
{\an8}[cat purring]

2254
01:54:04,733 --> 01:54:05,693
{\an8}[cat meows]