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[♪ soft upbeat music playing]
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- [phone chiming]
- Send text to Tyler.
5
00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:28,939
[automated voice]
What would you like to say?
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00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:30,274
Hi, exclamation point.
7
00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:32,234
I just arrived,
exclamation point.
8
00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:34,820
- [phone chiming]
- Your message to Tyler says,
9
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:36,280
"Hi! I just arrived!"
10
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:37,782
- Send.
- Okay.
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00:02:37,783 --> 00:02:39,200
- [text whooshing]
- Message sent.
12
00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:40,619
- [pen scribbling]
- [phone chiming]
13
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:44,330
Tyler says,
"Glad you arrived safely."
14
00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:47,500
- Would you like to reply?
- [phone chiming]
15
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:50,294
Tyler says,
"Thank you again
for being there."
16
00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:52,797
[phone chiming]
17
00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:55,299
Tyler says,
"I'm so grateful for you."
18
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:57,343
- Would you like to reply?
- No.
19
00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:58,845
- [phone chiming]
- Okay.
20
00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:10,982
[dog barking]
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00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:12,984
[growling]
22
00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:15,737
[dog continues barking]
23
00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:25,247
- [hawk screeching]
- [dog shrieks]
24
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:38,552
[gate opening]
25
00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:46,101
[suitcase wheels rattling]
26
00:03:50,439 --> 00:03:51,857
[knocking]
27
00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:56,778
[exhales sharply]
28
00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:01,867
[knocking]
29
00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:10,125
- [one knock]
- Oh! Hey, hello.
30
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,712
- Hi, Mrs. Patterson, I'm--
- This plant shouldn't be dying.
31
00:04:14,713 --> 00:04:17,047
I just bought it two weeks ago.
It's unbelievable.
32
00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:19,550
All the leaves
keep falling off.
33
00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:20,634
Should I come in?
34
00:04:20,635 --> 00:04:22,553
Well, I didn't slam
the door on you.
35
00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:23,971
It's a succulent,
for God's sake.
36
00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:25,306
Shouldn't be dying.
37
00:04:25,307 --> 00:04:26,892
I've done nothing wrong,
that's for sure.
38
00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:30,394
We take our shoes off
in this house.
39
00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:32,646
- Sorry.
- Everything out there is dirt.
40
00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:35,065
Yeah, a-and cold. [chuckles]
41
00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:37,568
Where is that "dry heat"
you hear so much about?
42
00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:40,404
- What was your name again?
- Jamie.
43
00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:42,406
Here, we say our first
and last name.
44
00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:43,991
Sorry. Jamie Simms.
45
00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:46,410
Well, I'll probably have
to ask you your name again.
46
00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:48,329
Just know that.
I can't apologize for it.
47
00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:50,581
I've got a lot going on.
And now, with you here.
48
00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:53,417
I completely understan... d.
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00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:54,836
[sighs]
50
00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:57,506
[birds cawing]
51
00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:03,093
I'm sorry, I wasn't sure
if you wanted me to follow you.
52
00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:05,513
- I don't know what's happening.
- [sighs] I know.
53
00:05:05,514 --> 00:05:08,642
- It's a very unusual situation.
- It's all starting to rot.
54
00:05:10,185 --> 00:05:11,186
[sighs]
55
00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:14,481
It's possible
it's being overwatered.
56
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:18,443
[sighs]
57
00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:21,779
- It could also be
under-watered, so that's--
- I'll tell you one thing
58
00:05:21,780 --> 00:05:23,864
I did do wrong.
I trusted Doris Kato.
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00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:26,617
Friend from New York.
She raved about this nursery,
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00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:28,828
which, of course, she did.
Her cousin opened it.
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00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:31,705
A cousin, by the way,
no one's ever even
heard of until now.
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00:05:31,706 --> 00:05:34,333
A Sue or a Veronica or Patty.
I don't fucking know.
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00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,794
I wasn't listening.
She went on and on and on.
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00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:39,797
"I'm so proud of my cousin.
She's starting over.
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00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:42,049
We should really support her."
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00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:45,052
Well, I'm sorry, but clearly,
Sue-Veronica-Patty
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00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:46,971
needs to start over again.
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00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:48,472
Well, I can take it back
if you'd like.
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00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:49,474
Why?
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00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:53,477
- If you're not happy.
- Are you already on the clock?
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00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:55,646
- Is that how this works?
- [scoffs] No, I just--
72
00:05:55,647 --> 00:05:58,148
I'm gonna save it.
It's dying, not dead.
73
00:05:58,149 --> 00:05:59,401
It can be saved.
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00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:03,028
I'm gonna make a cocktail.
I need one.
75
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:04,321
Can I pour you something?
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00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:06,782
- Um...
- Yeah, it's early.
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00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:08,492
Oh, no, that's not what I meant.
I just-- I'm--
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00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:10,911
I'm just not much
of a drinker, actually.
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00:06:10,912 --> 00:06:12,663
But thank you. I had a--
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00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:14,707
had an incident in college.
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00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:15,834
[freezer banging, ice rattling]
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00:06:16,668 --> 00:06:19,212
- [ice clinking]
- [drawer closing]
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00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,673
- Yeah, I broke my jaw.
- [cork popping]
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00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:24,341
Just completely tanked
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00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:26,927
on Long Island iced teas.
[chuckles]
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00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:29,013
I blacked out
right onto the sidewalk.
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00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:32,182
I had to have my jaw wired shut
for over a month.
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00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:34,768
- [exhales]
- So, any of the smells
of the numerous alcohols
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00:06:34,769 --> 00:06:37,104
in a Long Island
are a bit of a trigger for me.
90
00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:38,689
Are you triggered
by the smell of water?
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00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:40,066
Because that's all I have.
92
00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:43,028
Or Pedialyte.
93
00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:46,238
Well, I've never been one
to turn down a Pedialyte.
[chuckles]
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00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:47,949
Blueberry or unflavored?
95
00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:52,369
Water's awesome.
96
00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:54,413
So, how long will you be here?
97
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:56,875
It depends. Uh, a few days,
maybe a week.
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00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:59,376
That's "a few days,
maybe a week"?
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00:06:59,377 --> 00:07:01,129
Well, for a gay man, yes.
[chuckles]
100
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:04,215
I wasn't expecting
to-- to come here.
101
00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:07,551
None of this was expected.
102
00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:09,596
Oh, no. I'm sorry, I didn't...
103
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:13,307
Um, I was packed
for a different trip,
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00:07:13,308 --> 00:07:15,643
for-- for a longer trip
when your son called.
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00:07:15,644 --> 00:07:19,271
So then, this trip got
tacked on to-- to that trip.
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00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:22,107
And you're driving for that trip
and this trip?
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00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:23,567
Yeah, I prefer it.
108
00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:25,235
You know, time alone,
time to think.
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00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:26,821
I like a road trip.
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00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,741
Oh, God.
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00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:35,080
- I have more socks.
- You think they made the cut?
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- [bag unzipping]
- [Jamie] Yeah, I, uh,
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00:07:46,508 --> 00:07:48,509
I love a road trip.
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00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:52,262
It's a great way to, uh,
to see New Mexico.
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00:07:52,263 --> 00:07:56,350
It's my first time, actually.
It's so beautiful.
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00:07:56,351 --> 00:07:58,602
But it is funny, you know?
You see the desert landscape,
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00:07:58,603 --> 00:08:01,105
and you just assume,
well, that's gonna be hot--
118
00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:02,983
So, how does this work?
You, here?
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00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:05,442
Um, however you'd like it.
120
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:06,777
No, I didn't ask
for any of this.
121
00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:08,779
So, it's not "however."
You tell me.
122
00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:10,781
Uh, I'm-- I'm just
here to help.
123
00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:12,324
Me grieve?
124
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,284
No. No, I couldn't possibly.
125
00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:16,871
No, you couldn't.
I'm more than capable.
126
00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:19,623
I just meant I could help, um,
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00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:22,292
with arrangements,
um, running errands.
128
00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:25,045
- I think Tyler was thinking--
- Yes, what was my son thinking,
129
00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:26,714
sending you in his place?
130
00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:28,466
I think Tyler's
worried about you.
131
00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:35,849
I thought you'd be
better at that.
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00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:39,143
Lying.
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00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:41,229
Isn't that what assistants
do best?
134
00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:44,982
- He is worried.
- Fine. He's worried.
135
00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:46,400
And you know he would be here
in a heartbeat
136
00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:47,651
if he wasn't stuck
overseas doing--
137
00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:49,319
Overseas doing research
for the new book.
138
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,321
Yes, that much I learned
in his texts to me,
139
00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:53,657
along with his condolences
for my husband,
140
00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:55,993
and regrets that he might not
be able to make it back
for the funeral.
141
00:08:55,994 --> 00:08:59,413
And then, two days ago,
I learned that his assistant
142
00:08:59,414 --> 00:09:02,332
would be here in his absence,
in a text from you.
143
00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:03,834
Y-Yes, that is on me.
144
00:09:03,835 --> 00:09:05,669
I told Tyler
I would reach out, and I--
145
00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:07,588
and I should have let him
do that first.
146
00:09:07,589 --> 00:09:09,506
And why might
he not make it back?
147
00:09:09,507 --> 00:09:12,843
There's a prisoner of war
that he's hoping to interview,
148
00:09:12,844 --> 00:09:14,344
uh, in Khartoum.
149
00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:16,555
He has a contact,
an insider
150
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,932
in the Sudanese
Armed Forces that--
151
00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:21,769
It's timing, basically.
It's-- it's about timing.
152
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:23,729
It-- He just has to be ready
for when it will be safe.
153
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:26,273
And will it be safe
before Saturday to be here?
154
00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:27,900
That's the hope, yes.
That's what he's hoping.
155
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,943
- Mm, that's in seven days.
- Yes.
156
00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:31,196
So, we're hoping it's...
157
00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:33,739
Safe before Saturday.
158
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:35,532
And if it doesn't become safe,
159
00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:37,535
will you be sitting beside me
at the funeral?
160
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:41,538
- Well, no. I-- I mean,
I couldn't--
- Why?
161
00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:42,873
You're doing
everything else for Tyler.
162
00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:45,042
Why can't you be my son
on the day?
163
00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:46,585
Well, because
I'm no replacement for him--
164
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:49,047
You'd be surprised
how low that bar is.
165
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:53,384
[sighs]
166
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:57,055
Did you want me
to get the water?
167
00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:01,392
- [sighs]
- I-It's okay, no worries.
168
00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:04,561
- So, you don't want the water?
- No.
169
00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:06,105
No-- I mean, yes,
I do want the water.
170
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:07,606
I just meant
no worries in that...
171
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,817
- [softly] Oh, my God.
- ...it's okay that you forgot.
172
00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:11,652
[phone chiming]
173
00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:14,071
Sorry, I meant to put
my phone on vibrate.
174
00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:16,074
[phone continues chiming]
175
00:10:17,242 --> 00:10:20,619
- Is that Tyler?
- Um, most likely, yes.
176
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,580
- [phone chimes]
- Your son texts
from his computer,
177
00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:26,083
so he's just constantly
hitting return
178
00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:27,835
and sending one sentence
at a time.
179
00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:28,837
Yes, it is him.
180
00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:35,760
Uh, he's just making sure
I arrived safely.
181
00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:40,305
That's a lot of sentences
for such a simple message.
182
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:41,307
[Jamie] Uh...
183
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:44,184
Uh, let's see what he says.
184
00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:45,811
- Um...
- [scoffs] Forget it.
185
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:48,147
It doesn't all
have to be my business.
186
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:49,774
But to the part that is...
187
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:53,653
you can say that you
arrived safely and that...
188
00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:56,947
I'm doing well.
189
00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:58,949
In case that's his follow-up.
190
00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:00,868
Oh, and I'll take room temp.
There's no need for ice
191
00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:02,369
if the desert's not
gonna be hot.
192
00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:04,163
Yes, it's winter.
For God's sake,
193
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:06,165
please stop being
blown away by that.
194
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,375
[phone chimes]
195
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,753
He sent a heart emoji.
196
00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:14,007
Is that for you arriving safely
or me doing well?
197
00:11:14,966 --> 00:11:17,384
- Imagine both.
- How economical of him.
198
00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:18,636
[Jamie chuckles]
199
00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:23,140
- [phone buzzing]
- I prefer you leave
the chime on.
200
00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:25,393
That way I'll know
when we hear from him.
201
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:28,521
Of course.
202
00:11:29,981 --> 00:11:31,357
- What?
- Nothing.
203
00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:34,193
- Am I a lot?
- No.
204
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:36,528
That's a shame,
'cause I'm trying to be.
205
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:38,822
You'll forgive me, Jamie,
but I'm having a hard time
206
00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:40,324
processing your presence.
207
00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:42,826
I know, I'm just--
I'm just doing my job.
208
00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:45,537
You understand my position, yes?
Why I'd be so agitated
209
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,372
to learn that I'm your job?
210
00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:50,083
No, no, I'm sorry.
Being here is my job for Tyler.
211
00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:52,211
I didn't mean to imply
that you're my responsibility.
212
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,004
Well, Tyler seems
to think differently.
213
00:11:54,005 --> 00:11:56,340
He seems to think he can
pass off his responsibility
214
00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:58,467
to be here to say goodbye
to his stepfather.
215
00:11:58,468 --> 00:12:00,719
Not that he ever called
Henry anything but Henry,
216
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,012
let alone made an effort
217
00:12:02,013 --> 00:12:04,181
to have any kind of
relationship with him.
218
00:12:04,182 --> 00:12:05,849
So, well, maybe that's it.
219
00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:07,851
Maybe that's why
he doesn't feel he has
a responsibility
220
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:09,561
to be here?
221
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,730
But my son does have
a relationship with me,
222
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:14,441
or did at one point--
a good one,
223
00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:16,068
which I think counts.
224
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,696
So, there is a responsibility
there to me.
225
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,490
- Tyler is doing his best.
- Oh, please.
226
00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:23,492
- I think given
the circumstances--
- Yes, you have to defend him.
227
00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:25,702
I get it, it's your job,
but I don't, so I won't.
228
00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:27,579
Overseas is bullshit.
229
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,289
My husband
didn't just suddenly die.
230
00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:30,374
He had Parkinson's.
231
00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:31,541
We knew where we were headed,
232
00:12:31,542 --> 00:12:32,960
and so did Tyler.
233
00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:35,755
I actually called him
two weeks ago to tell him...
234
00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:40,092
To tell his voicemail,
at least.
235
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:41,885
I told him Henry
had taken a turn,
236
00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:44,721
things were complicated,
and time was not on our side.
237
00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:47,933
So, again, you'll forgive me
if I intend to allow myself
238
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:50,228
some agitation
and disappointment.
239
00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:55,066
[ice clinking in glass]
240
00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:59,737
I understand. I do.
241
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,157
But I'm not here
if you don't want me to be.
242
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:07,744
Which is something
you could have conveyed
243
00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:09,746
two days ago when I texted you.
244
00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:12,249
But that said, I am here
because of Tyler,
245
00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:14,251
because he thought
I might be of help.
246
00:13:14,252 --> 00:13:15,670
But if you don't want that...
247
00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:19,507
if you would like me to leave,
I also understand that.
248
00:13:25,763 --> 00:13:27,265
I haven't made up my mind yet.
249
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,142
[popping lips]
250
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:31,352
Okay.
251
00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:33,938
So...
252
00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:37,483
how long have you
been his assistant?
253
00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:40,986
Uh, going on about
four years now.
254
00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:43,113
Wow. [chuckles]
Obviously, I'm aware
255
00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:45,198
Tyler and I have been
somewhat estranged for a while,
256
00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:47,160
but to not even know
of your existence?
257
00:13:48,286 --> 00:13:51,997
Although I'm not sure that's
more of a slight on me or you.
258
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:52,999
[Jamie chuckles]
259
00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:55,459
Well, it doesn't bother me.
260
00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:56,627
How old are you?
261
00:13:58,046 --> 00:13:59,047
Forty-two.
262
00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:03,675
Four-- 46. Final answer.
263
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:06,053
- So, older than Tyler?
- Y-Yeah, it's just eight years.
264
00:14:06,054 --> 00:14:07,721
- Doesn't mean-- It's not crazy.
- Of course not.
265
00:14:07,722 --> 00:14:09,806
- Is that an issue for you?
- No.
266
00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:12,809
Really? Because at first,
you made yourself less older.
267
00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:14,728
- Uh...
- I just have to imagine
268
00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:18,315
it's an interesting dynamic
for you as Tyler's assistant,
269
00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:21,735
with where he is in his life
at his exact age.
270
00:14:21,736 --> 00:14:23,987
- He's very successful.
- I'm-- I'm successful.
271
00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:26,907
I'm sorry, this... [laughing]
this feels like an interview.
272
00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:29,159
Well, I'm being asked
to spend a few days,
273
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:31,536
maybe a week,
with a complete stranger.
274
00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:33,580
I think I'm entitled
to know more.
275
00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:35,916
Yeah, this is all kind of
a second chapter for me.
276
00:14:35,917 --> 00:14:40,045
When I left NYU,
I took a job as a copywriter,
277
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:42,506
but I wasn't happy
with anything.
278
00:14:42,507 --> 00:14:46,426
So, I decided to quit
and start over in LA.
279
00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:48,095
[Mrs. Patterson]
Where you took
the job with Tyler.
280
00:14:48,096 --> 00:14:49,763
Um, yeah, eventually, yes.
281
00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:52,766
- Because you were a fan?
- Y-Yes, but when I got to LA,
282
00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:55,268
I didn't purposely seek him out.
283
00:14:55,269 --> 00:14:58,772
We just happened to randomly
bump into each other
284
00:14:58,773 --> 00:15:01,192
in West Hollywood at a bar.
285
00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:03,611
A gay bar?
286
00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:07,614
I mean, not-- not all bars
in West Hollywood are gay bars.
287
00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:08,699
So, it wasn't a gay bar?
288
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,536
- No, it was...
- Mm-hmm.
289
00:15:12,537 --> 00:15:14,371
You know, I mentioned
what brought me to LA,
290
00:15:14,372 --> 00:15:17,707
and he, you know, he mentioned
being very overwhelmed
291
00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:19,627
and very inundated, and...
292
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,046
I don't know, I just...
293
00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:25,382
I remember thinking that
it felt like we were meeting
294
00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:26,551
for a reason.
295
00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:30,054
So, I offered myself up.
As his assistant.
296
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:32,889
So, I'm curious.
297
00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:34,767
Mm, what has Tyler
said about me?
298
00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:41,065
What has Tyler said about you?
299
00:15:42,733 --> 00:15:45,153
Yes, I imagine he's mentioned me
at some point.
300
00:15:46,737 --> 00:15:48,238
Yeah, no,
I'm just trying to think.
301
00:15:48,239 --> 00:15:49,406
What he's said about me?
302
00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:50,949
Honestly, he doesn't
really talk much about--
303
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,909
- Me?
- Childhood.
304
00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:54,286
That included me.
305
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:55,662
[sighs] Mrs. Patterson--
306
00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:56,997
You're "46. Final answer."
307
00:15:56,998 --> 00:15:58,499
We can be at Diane.
308
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:00,917
Diane, with all due respect--
309
00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:02,961
He sent you here,
so I have to assume
310
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,754
- something's been said.
- Okay, he said you were,
311
00:16:04,755 --> 00:16:06,423
uh, a great cook,
312
00:16:06,424 --> 00:16:09,634
a big traveler,
that you like movies.
313
00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:12,512
Ooh, wow!
What a vivid picture.
314
00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:14,974
So, no adjectives. Huh.
315
00:16:16,601 --> 00:16:19,561
Uh, Diane, I'm sorry, I can't.
316
00:16:19,562 --> 00:16:21,521
- [cork popping, liquid pouring]
- Part of my being here,
317
00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:23,940
part of working for Tyler--
working for anybody, really,
318
00:16:23,941 --> 00:16:27,861
as an assistant, is that there
has to be some sort of semblance
319
00:16:27,862 --> 00:16:29,946
of a cone of silence
when it comes to stuff
320
00:16:29,947 --> 00:16:32,407
discussed about anything,
321
00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:34,159
including family.
322
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,952
It's not mine to share.
323
00:16:35,953 --> 00:16:38,956
I have to be a safe place
for Tyler, and I have been.
324
00:16:39,874 --> 00:16:42,209
And should you choose
to have me here,
325
00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:43,543
I would be that for you.
326
00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:46,047
I-- I would be
a cone of silence.
327
00:16:47,048 --> 00:16:48,549
Which is something
I think you would want.
328
00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:54,888
Some things
should remain unsaid.
329
00:16:54,889 --> 00:16:57,474
I have experience with that.
330
00:16:57,475 --> 00:16:59,684
Besides, I doubt
you could tell me
331
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:01,562
anything I don't already know.
332
00:17:02,813 --> 00:17:04,482
Can't be much good in there.
333
00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:10,696
- Well, that's not true.
- And that's not true, either.
334
00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:16,201
Do you mind if I use
your bathroom?
335
00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:18,578
Yeah. That would seem
cruel if I said no,
336
00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:20,997
seeing as you just drank
the equivalent of a lake.
337
00:17:20,998 --> 00:17:22,166
[Jamie chuckles]
338
00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:28,171
- Um...
- We removed the door
339
00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:30,508
- to make it easier for Henry.
- Oh, sure.
340
00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:35,720
- You know, I think
I'm good, actually--
- Do your business.
341
00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:37,515
- I'll refill your lake.
- [chuckles]
342
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,352
[phone buzzing]
343
00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:44,771
- [urine splashing]
- [phone continues buzzing]
344
00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:46,106
[urinating stops]
345
00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:47,817
That's odd.
I don't remember...
346
00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:50,860
- turning that off, that's crazy.
- Yes.
347
00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:52,237
- [phone buzzing]
- [urinating resumes]
348
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:54,239
[Jamie] I don't know why
that chime's not on.
349
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,949
- Do you need me
to bring it to you?
- No, no!
350
00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:57,284
Nope, almost done.
351
00:17:57,285 --> 00:17:59,077
- Yep, just...
- [toilet flushing]
352
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,370
...wrapping it up.
353
00:18:00,371 --> 00:18:01,956
[sink faucet running]
354
00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:07,043
Sorry about that.
I don't remember
355
00:18:07,044 --> 00:18:08,129
putting it on the...
356
00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:10,922
Um... [clicking tongue]
357
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,674
Unfortunately, he knows
it's already gonna be
358
00:18:12,675 --> 00:18:15,760
another day of waiting.
It's-- It's still not safe.
359
00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:17,554
I think your son is stressed.
360
00:18:17,555 --> 00:18:20,473
Most of this is him just
asking me to quiet his mind.
361
00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:23,059
He's wondering if he's doing
the right thing by being there.
362
00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:24,812
Do you think he's doing
the right thing?
363
00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:29,441
- That's not my place to--
- Will you reassure him
364
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:30,735
that he's doing the right thing?
365
00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:34,780
Your son is grappling
with all of this, for sure.
366
00:18:42,413 --> 00:18:43,622
- I like all the art.
- [Diane] Sure.
367
00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:45,582
We can change the subject.
368
00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:47,208
[Jamie] No, no, I meant
to mention that.
369
00:18:47,209 --> 00:18:49,628
No, I welcome it.
The art is all Henry.
370
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,588
- [sink faucet running]
- He painted.
371
00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:53,591
Was a painter. Not a hobby.
372
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:57,927
After he was diagnosed just
a little over three years ago,
373
00:18:57,928 --> 00:18:59,929
Henry wanted us to move out here
374
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:02,098
so he could paint
this part of the world
375
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:03,351
before he could no longer.
376
00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:07,646
I offered to buy him
coffee table books
377
00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:09,814
and just bring this world
to New York.
378
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:13,443
But he insisted his eyes
see it for themselves.
379
00:19:13,444 --> 00:19:15,570
He knew it was a big ask.
380
00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:19,199
My life was in Manhattan.
I was leaving my career, and...
381
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,160
But of course,
I said I loved the idea.
382
00:19:22,787 --> 00:19:24,955
That was the only lie
I ever told my husband.
383
00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:27,875
That husband, anyway.
384
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:30,836
He was hoping
to finish that before he...
385
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,967
What did Tyler
tell you about Henry?
386
00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:39,511
- Diane--
- No.
387
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:41,304
No cone of silence,
not with Henry.
388
00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:42,472
With me, fine.
389
00:19:42,473 --> 00:19:44,140
Yes, he said you, uh,
390
00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:46,476
had been together
for 27 years, I think.
391
00:19:46,477 --> 00:19:48,144
Twenty-nine. What else?
392
00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:49,979
And, uh, that you two
393
00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:52,065
deserved each other,
which I thought was sweet.
394
00:19:52,066 --> 00:19:54,150
[sighs]
395
00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:56,237
It can be heard that way.
Is that it?
396
00:19:58,823 --> 00:20:00,073
- Yeah.
- [phone chimes]
397
00:20:00,074 --> 00:20:01,701
Maybe deal with that.
398
00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:04,577
- [phone chiming]
- Oh, my God.
399
00:20:04,578 --> 00:20:07,080
Now, the sun is being
an asshole.
400
00:20:07,081 --> 00:20:08,498
[Jamie] Oh, that sun.
Sorry. [chuckles]
401
00:20:08,499 --> 00:20:10,166
- What?
- Sorry, I keep thinking
402
00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:11,918
- that you're talking about--
- It's relentless!
403
00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:13,920
Everything here is exposed.
404
00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:15,839
Well, I think some time in
the direct sunlight might be--
405
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:18,174
- might be helpful.
- Well, then you tell me
what to do with it.
406
00:20:18,175 --> 00:20:19,801
- What?
- You were sent to assist.
407
00:20:19,802 --> 00:20:21,886
So, assist. Sun or shade?
408
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:23,847
- [phone continues chiming]
- Sun or shade?
409
00:20:23,848 --> 00:20:25,223
- Uh, whichever.
- Not "whichever."
410
00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:26,683
You have an opinion, express it.
411
00:20:26,684 --> 00:20:27,726
Okay, I think maybe some time
412
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:28,893
- where-- in the--
- [phone chimes]
413
00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:30,520
And for God's sake, respond!
414
00:20:30,521 --> 00:20:32,605
Quiet his mind or whatever it is
he needs you to do.
415
00:20:32,606 --> 00:20:34,357
- I'm telling him to hang on.
- "He's stressed."
416
00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:36,151
- [text whooshing]
- What the hell
does he think I'm feeling?
417
00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:38,236
Does he even acknowledge
what's happening here?
418
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:39,362
What I'm going through?
419
00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:41,573
Does he even attempt
to text that?
420
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:44,200
No, don't even tell me.
He has my number.
421
00:20:44,201 --> 00:20:46,119
He can use it.
After what I've done.
422
00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:48,288
You don't even know
what I've put aside.
423
00:20:48,289 --> 00:20:51,541
Because that's what you do.
You put it all aside.
424
00:20:51,542 --> 00:20:55,044
You put it all aside,
despite how you feel.
425
00:20:55,045 --> 00:20:58,715
When someone is hurting,
someone you're supposed to love,
426
00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:01,593
you put it aside,
you ungrateful,
427
00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:03,053
selfish dickhead!
428
00:21:08,559 --> 00:21:10,436
I'm sorry. That wasn't, um...
429
00:21:11,896 --> 00:21:12,897
And...
430
00:21:15,566 --> 00:21:17,234
I'm sorry about the, um...
431
00:21:18,736 --> 00:21:21,404
Henry dealt with the plants.
432
00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:23,448
He-- They were his thing.
433
00:21:23,449 --> 00:21:26,660
He-- he loved them,
and I, um...
434
00:21:34,919 --> 00:21:39,088
Diane, um, I know this
is all very overwhelming,
435
00:21:39,089 --> 00:21:40,925
and I certainly don't want
to add to that.
436
00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:43,511
But I am happy to be here.
437
00:21:44,762 --> 00:21:48,473
If only to focus
all of my assistance
438
00:21:48,474 --> 00:21:51,018
on saving that succulent.
439
00:21:52,853 --> 00:21:53,978
[scoffs lightly]
440
00:21:53,979 --> 00:21:55,356
- Hm.
- My God. [chuckles]
441
00:21:58,025 --> 00:21:59,485
Well, we, um...
442
00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:02,779
we turned the spare
into an art studio,
443
00:22:02,780 --> 00:22:04,322
so you'll have
to sleep out here.
444
00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:05,782
Sure.
445
00:22:05,783 --> 00:22:06,784
Okay.
446
00:22:09,036 --> 00:22:10,537
Oh.
447
00:22:10,538 --> 00:22:12,956
- It is a bed.
- Oh, yeah, no, it's--
448
00:22:12,957 --> 00:22:14,707
- Or there's the couch.
- Yeah. Oh, maybe the couch.
449
00:22:14,708 --> 00:22:16,125
That is where he died,
though, so...
450
00:22:16,126 --> 00:22:17,460
- Wow, okay.
- ...it's up to you.
451
00:22:17,461 --> 00:22:18,545
- No, that's--
- I'll get sheets.
452
00:22:18,546 --> 00:22:19,671
Thanks.
453
00:22:19,672 --> 00:22:21,674
[phone chiming]
454
00:22:23,133 --> 00:22:26,302
There's no reason to be worried,
is there, for his safety?
455
00:22:26,303 --> 00:22:28,596
No, no, he wouldn't
put himself in danger.
456
00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:30,975
[scoffs] I probably
should have asked that first.
457
00:22:35,145 --> 00:22:38,148
[♪ gentle music playing]
458
00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:43,028
[insects chirring]
459
00:23:00,004 --> 00:23:01,337
Thank you for making dinner.
460
00:23:01,338 --> 00:23:02,922
Oh, I didn't make.
I heated.
461
00:23:02,923 --> 00:23:04,382
- [chuckles]
- It's amazing what dishes
462
00:23:04,383 --> 00:23:05,884
people are inclined
to bring over.
463
00:23:05,885 --> 00:23:08,386
According to my fridge,
you'd think I only eat
464
00:23:08,387 --> 00:23:11,264
casseroles and enchiladas.
465
00:23:11,265 --> 00:23:12,932
[Jamie chuckles]
466
00:23:12,933 --> 00:23:15,393
Well, people just like
to bring comfort food.
467
00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:17,770
Yeah, well, I've been
comforted by a salad.
468
00:23:17,771 --> 00:23:19,064
[Jamie laughing]
469
00:23:20,107 --> 00:23:22,191
Was that genuine?
470
00:23:22,192 --> 00:23:24,861
Yes. I thought it was funny.
471
00:23:24,862 --> 00:23:27,114
Oh, just checking.
You chuckle a lot.
472
00:23:28,198 --> 00:23:30,450
But I might have to challenge
the validity
473
00:23:30,451 --> 00:23:32,452
of a comforting salad.
474
00:23:32,453 --> 00:23:35,122
Oh, I forgot to give this
to you, from Tyler.
475
00:23:37,708 --> 00:23:41,295
Yes, it's my handwriting,
but his words, dictated.
476
00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:44,631
He is good about sending cards.
477
00:23:44,632 --> 00:23:47,593
Interestingly enough,
going on about four years now.
478
00:23:53,974 --> 00:23:56,142
How'd it go with Tyler?
479
00:23:56,143 --> 00:23:59,145
Were you able to reassure him?
480
00:23:59,146 --> 00:24:01,064
Oh, yes, yeah.
But I'll hear from him again,
481
00:24:01,065 --> 00:24:03,566
and then I'll have
to reassure him all over again.
482
00:24:03,567 --> 00:24:06,403
That's the cycle.
Welcome to my world.
483
00:24:08,113 --> 00:24:10,406
Hmm. Tyler was always anxious.
484
00:24:10,407 --> 00:24:12,659
- That world has not changed.
- [chuckles]
485
00:24:12,660 --> 00:24:14,702
I remember once picking him up
from kindergarten.
486
00:24:14,703 --> 00:24:18,414
He was-- [chuckles]
He was in tears, inconsolable.
487
00:24:18,415 --> 00:24:20,166
My mind thought the worst,
you know,
488
00:24:20,167 --> 00:24:22,919
he'd been hit or bullied.
489
00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:25,213
It turns out he was just--
he was just upset
490
00:24:25,214 --> 00:24:27,632
because he was terrible
at cutting with scissors.
491
00:24:27,633 --> 00:24:29,802
[laughing]
492
00:24:31,637 --> 00:24:34,139
Of course,
I stifled my laugh on that day.
493
00:24:35,432 --> 00:24:39,103
I validated his feelings.
My son was seen and heard.
494
00:24:40,270 --> 00:24:42,438
Plus, as I would come to learn,
495
00:24:42,439 --> 00:24:44,232
his teachers
were genuinely concerned
496
00:24:44,233 --> 00:24:45,775
about his inability to cut.
497
00:24:45,776 --> 00:24:48,611
So, fuck me, I guess.
Fuck me for not knowing
498
00:24:48,612 --> 00:24:50,488
it was some kind
of developmental thing.
499
00:24:50,489 --> 00:24:52,490
Hands being able to do
different tasks
500
00:24:52,491 --> 00:24:54,117
at the same time
or something, I don't know.
501
00:24:54,118 --> 00:24:56,119
Anyway, Tyler was distraught
502
00:24:56,120 --> 00:24:58,162
because all the other kids
could do it and he couldn't.
503
00:24:58,163 --> 00:25:00,331
So, I spent that weekend
with him,
504
00:25:00,332 --> 00:25:01,874
just sitting on the floor,
505
00:25:01,875 --> 00:25:03,876
cutting up
all my good magazines.
506
00:25:03,877 --> 00:25:05,337
[chuckles]
507
00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:09,007
Is he good at cutting
with scissors now?
508
00:25:09,008 --> 00:25:11,301
You know, I can't say
I've ever seen him do it.
509
00:25:11,969 --> 00:25:14,470
Maybe text him
at some point, find out.
510
00:25:14,471 --> 00:25:16,014
Be nice to know
I made a difference,
511
00:25:16,015 --> 00:25:18,976
and that my magazines
did not die in vain.
512
00:25:20,227 --> 00:25:23,647
You know, Diane,
you could text him yourself.
513
00:25:29,820 --> 00:25:31,362
And if it gives you any solace,
514
00:25:31,363 --> 00:25:33,197
I happen to know
you did make a difference,
515
00:25:33,198 --> 00:25:35,491
because Tyler told me
what it was like
516
00:25:35,492 --> 00:25:38,578
for him coming out to you,
and he said you were amazing.
517
00:25:38,579 --> 00:25:40,121
Are you allowed
to tell me that?
518
00:25:40,122 --> 00:25:43,584
I think I can lift
the cone on this one.
519
00:25:45,169 --> 00:25:49,297
He said when he finally got up
the nerve to come out to you,
520
00:25:49,298 --> 00:25:51,800
he felt like you were
already there waiting.
521
00:25:52,885 --> 00:25:56,597
"Waiting to give him love."
Those were his exact words.
522
00:25:57,389 --> 00:25:59,390
Well, I was there.
523
00:25:59,391 --> 00:26:02,018
And I was there all the times
he almost came out.
524
00:26:02,019 --> 00:26:04,228
- [chuckles]
- I always knew he was gay
525
00:26:04,229 --> 00:26:05,605
from an early age.
526
00:26:05,606 --> 00:26:07,231
And for so many years,
there were these moments
527
00:26:07,232 --> 00:26:09,400
where he'd come into a room
where I was,
528
00:26:09,401 --> 00:26:13,404
not even the room,
just into the doorway.
529
00:26:13,405 --> 00:26:15,282
And I'd see it
right there on his face.
530
00:26:16,283 --> 00:26:18,868
And I'd think to myself
every time,
531
00:26:18,869 --> 00:26:21,287
"This is it, Diane, he's gonna
come out, don't screw it up."
532
00:26:21,288 --> 00:26:23,414
[chuckles]
533
00:26:23,415 --> 00:26:25,083
And believe me,
it took everything in my power
534
00:26:25,084 --> 00:26:26,919
not to want
to yank him out myself.
535
00:26:28,545 --> 00:26:29,546
I just...
536
00:26:30,923 --> 00:26:32,924
I just wanted him
to get to the other side of it.
537
00:26:32,925 --> 00:26:34,927
I knew it would be better there.
538
00:26:36,053 --> 00:26:38,387
I knew it was up to him,
of course.
539
00:26:38,388 --> 00:26:40,932
So, I just stayed still, calm,
540
00:26:40,933 --> 00:26:46,270
and we'd stare at each other
for what felt like forever...
541
00:26:46,271 --> 00:26:49,817
waiting on the same thing,
waiting for him to step through.
542
00:26:50,943 --> 00:26:52,985
And eventually,
all those times I'd--
543
00:26:52,986 --> 00:26:57,116
I'd I just have to watch him
push it all down and walk away.
544
00:26:58,283 --> 00:27:02,578
So, when the day came,
the day...
545
00:27:02,579 --> 00:27:05,123
Oh, Tyler was 23,
home for Christmas,
546
00:27:05,124 --> 00:27:06,916
and I was in
the kitchen, cooking.
547
00:27:06,917 --> 00:27:09,794
And he came in like he'd done
so many times before,
548
00:27:09,795 --> 00:27:12,172
right into the doorway,
no further.
549
00:27:15,300 --> 00:27:17,760
And the look was the same.
550
00:27:17,761 --> 00:27:21,264
The fear was there, the pain,
all of it the same.
551
00:27:21,265 --> 00:27:22,808
[clicking tongue]
But in that moment, I just...
552
00:27:23,851 --> 00:27:25,435
I knew I couldn't stay still.
553
00:27:26,478 --> 00:27:28,272
I knew I couldn't yank, but...
554
00:27:29,523 --> 00:27:32,358
[sighs] I needed to make this
the right time for my son.
555
00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:36,321
So, I just looked at him
and I said...
556
00:27:38,031 --> 00:27:39,116
"I love you."
557
00:27:40,325 --> 00:27:41,951
I mean, I'd said it
so many times before,
558
00:27:41,952 --> 00:27:43,787
but I guess
never like that, like...
559
00:27:44,830 --> 00:27:47,291
like reassurance.
560
00:27:48,375 --> 00:27:49,960
As if maybe he'd forgotten.
561
00:27:51,879 --> 00:27:55,174
And with that,
Tyler just exhaled.
562
00:27:56,216 --> 00:27:58,676
And I watched it
all fall away.
563
00:27:58,677 --> 00:28:02,389
And I watched my son
step into the room.
564
00:28:06,310 --> 00:28:07,810
- Wow.
- Mm.
565
00:28:07,811 --> 00:28:10,355
- Hm.
- And then,
we made dinner together.
566
00:28:11,315 --> 00:28:12,316
In fact...
567
00:28:13,317 --> 00:28:14,650
we made a comforting salad.
568
00:28:14,651 --> 00:28:16,195
[laughing]
569
00:28:17,196 --> 00:28:18,738
Well, no offense to scissors,
570
00:28:18,739 --> 00:28:22,534
but I think that is a--
a bigger difference.
571
00:28:25,370 --> 00:28:28,497
Tyler is very lucky
to have you as a mom.
572
00:28:28,498 --> 00:28:29,541
[Diane] Mm.
573
00:28:30,500 --> 00:28:31,668
And what about you?
574
00:28:32,669 --> 00:28:34,379
Were you lucky
with your parents?
575
00:28:35,380 --> 00:28:37,006
Um...
576
00:28:37,007 --> 00:28:38,549
- You-- you don't have to say.
- No, no, no. No.
577
00:28:38,550 --> 00:28:40,843
I-- I'd like to think
I would have been, yeah.
578
00:28:40,844 --> 00:28:44,223
But um, I lost both my parents
before I, uh...
579
00:28:46,016 --> 00:28:48,184
I came out later
than I should ha--
I mean, not should have.
580
00:28:48,185 --> 00:28:49,894
I came out when I was ready
and I wasn't ready
581
00:28:49,895 --> 00:28:52,772
until I was 35, and...
582
00:28:52,773 --> 00:28:55,358
they both passed away
within a year of each other.
583
00:28:55,359 --> 00:28:58,527
It was, um, cancer came
for both of them.
584
00:28:58,528 --> 00:29:00,697
- I'm sorry.
- Thank you. Thank you.
585
00:29:01,615 --> 00:29:03,407
- Do you have any siblings?
- No.
586
00:29:03,408 --> 00:29:05,952
Uh, I'm an only child,
as was my dad.
587
00:29:05,953 --> 00:29:08,454
And my mom
didn't talk to her sister,
588
00:29:08,455 --> 00:29:11,124
and I hear she's gone now, too.
So, no, it's just me.
589
00:29:12,626 --> 00:29:14,460
That must have been difficult.
590
00:29:14,461 --> 00:29:16,255
Caring for both of them
on your own?
591
00:29:20,259 --> 00:29:21,425
Yeah.
592
00:29:21,426 --> 00:29:23,053
Yeah, it was. But, um...
593
00:29:24,263 --> 00:29:25,555
But, you know, I mean...
594
00:29:26,723 --> 00:29:28,975
we weren't really given
a choice in the matter.
[chuckles]
595
00:29:28,976 --> 00:29:31,270
We just had to get
good at it fast, right?
596
00:29:33,563 --> 00:29:34,898
- Yes, we did.
- Hmm.
597
00:29:38,402 --> 00:29:41,404
If you don't mind... me asking,
598
00:29:41,405 --> 00:29:43,406
do you know
why you did wait?
599
00:29:43,407 --> 00:29:46,076
Why you weren't ready
until you were?
600
00:29:49,746 --> 00:29:50,998
I imagine I do.
601
00:29:52,249 --> 00:29:53,250
Yeah.
602
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:56,336
[chuckles softly] Uh...
603
00:30:01,758 --> 00:30:03,676
Not that I can't drink alone,
604
00:30:03,677 --> 00:30:06,305
but can I, uh, get you a glass?
605
00:30:09,599 --> 00:30:10,600
Yeah.
606
00:30:12,019 --> 00:30:13,644
Thank you. [chuckles]
607
00:30:13,645 --> 00:30:16,648
[♪ gentle music playing]
608
00:30:25,949 --> 00:30:27,284
[phone chimes]
609
00:30:31,288 --> 00:30:32,622
[phone chimes]
610
00:30:37,502 --> 00:30:38,712
[phone chimes]
611
00:30:39,963 --> 00:30:41,381
[phone chimes]
612
00:30:43,842 --> 00:30:45,302
[phone buzzing]
613
00:30:48,638 --> 00:30:49,973
[phone buzzing]
614
00:31:00,025 --> 00:31:02,486
Oh. What did she do here?
615
00:31:03,487 --> 00:31:05,488
- Good morning.
- Oh, good morning.
616
00:31:05,489 --> 00:31:08,074
Well, I'm afraid
it was overwatered,
617
00:31:08,075 --> 00:31:09,742
so I'm just gonna
let the leaves
618
00:31:09,743 --> 00:31:11,869
and the roots dry out
a little bit.
619
00:31:11,870 --> 00:31:13,412
It's worth a shot.
620
00:31:13,413 --> 00:31:15,581
Oh, and I, um,
I emptied your dishwasher,
621
00:31:15,582 --> 00:31:18,250
but I wasn't sure
where those platters went.
622
00:31:18,251 --> 00:31:20,336
And I made some coffee.
623
00:31:20,337 --> 00:31:22,546
What happened to just
focusing on the succulent?
624
00:31:22,547 --> 00:31:23,881
I'm sorry,
I couldn't help myself.
625
00:31:23,882 --> 00:31:25,549
I kinda get off on this stuff,
626
00:31:25,550 --> 00:31:27,719
and I instantly regret
saying "get off."
627
00:31:29,262 --> 00:31:32,056
And did you "get off"
on feeding the cat, too?
628
00:31:32,057 --> 00:31:34,558
Uh, yes.
Again, sorry, I just--
629
00:31:34,559 --> 00:31:36,394
I noticed the bowl was empty.
630
00:31:36,395 --> 00:31:37,770
Well, that one's
all for naught.
631
00:31:37,771 --> 00:31:39,856
The cat was carried off
by an owl, so...
632
00:31:42,192 --> 00:31:44,777
- Wait, what?
- Yeah, he was sunning
out on the patio.
633
00:31:44,778 --> 00:31:48,155
An owl swooped down,
and off they went.
634
00:31:48,156 --> 00:31:50,283
All that was left
was a piece of his tail.
635
00:31:51,284 --> 00:31:53,036
- That's a thing?
- All the time.
636
00:31:53,745 --> 00:31:57,540
Henry insisted we leave
the bowl out because,
637
00:31:57,541 --> 00:31:59,375
I don't know,
maybe he thought the owl
638
00:31:59,376 --> 00:32:01,710
would circle back
and drop the cat off?
639
00:32:01,711 --> 00:32:02,712
[Jamie chuckles]
640
00:32:04,047 --> 00:32:05,798
I'm sorry, that's horrible.
641
00:32:05,799 --> 00:32:07,592
The act of it, yes, but...
642
00:32:09,177 --> 00:32:11,263
Barnaby only really
loved Henry, so...
643
00:32:13,223 --> 00:32:14,974
I'm thinking
this is a good thing.
644
00:32:14,975 --> 00:32:16,393
They're together again.
645
00:32:17,894 --> 00:32:19,438
[refrigerator door opens
and closes]
646
00:32:25,444 --> 00:32:27,487
That goes down there,
and that in the corner.
647
00:32:28,613 --> 00:32:29,614
Yes.
648
00:32:35,579 --> 00:32:36,955
Any word from Tyler?
649
00:32:38,582 --> 00:32:40,624
Yeah, um, yeah, sorry.
650
00:32:40,625 --> 00:32:44,087
It's-- It's-- It's not safe, unfortunately.
651
00:32:45,088 --> 00:32:47,257
And I'm sorry,
I should have mentioned.
652
00:32:54,931 --> 00:32:56,682
- [car beeping]
- [neighbor] Diane!
653
00:32:56,683 --> 00:32:58,434
- [softly] Oh, shit.
- Diane!
654
00:32:58,435 --> 00:32:59,936
Oh. [sighs]
655
00:33:00,937 --> 00:33:03,481
- Diane.
- Oh. Hi, Judith.
656
00:33:03,482 --> 00:33:04,982
- Hi.
- Love the turquoise.
657
00:33:04,983 --> 00:33:06,692
Oh, thanks. Can't get enough.
658
00:33:06,693 --> 00:33:08,903
- Seems like it.
- Yes.
659
00:33:08,904 --> 00:33:10,279
This is Judith,
my next door neighbor.
660
00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:12,114
And this is Jamie.
661
00:33:12,115 --> 00:33:13,782
A gift from my son.
662
00:33:13,783 --> 00:33:15,451
Oh!
663
00:33:15,452 --> 00:33:17,536
That's very sweet.
Nice to meet you.
664
00:33:17,537 --> 00:33:18,788
[Jamie] Nice to meet you.
665
00:33:20,123 --> 00:33:21,499
And how are you?
666
00:33:21,500 --> 00:33:23,709
I'm doing okay, thank you.
667
00:33:23,710 --> 00:33:26,296
Well, I hate to pile on
more troubling news.
668
00:33:27,380 --> 00:33:29,006
Yeah. My Chipper is missing.
669
00:33:29,007 --> 00:33:30,883
Oh, no, that is more troubling.
670
00:33:30,884 --> 00:33:32,968
Yes, it's my chihuahua.
671
00:33:32,969 --> 00:33:34,136
- Oh.
- Mix.
672
00:33:34,137 --> 00:33:36,555
I mean, purebred, uh, mix.
673
00:33:36,556 --> 00:33:37,973
Wow.
674
00:33:37,974 --> 00:33:40,142
[Judith]
Trying to stay positive.
675
00:33:40,143 --> 00:33:43,020
You know, gotta keep
hope alive.
676
00:33:43,021 --> 00:33:44,314
You know. [chuckles]
677
00:33:46,149 --> 00:33:48,984
- I do know.
- Well, if either of you see him,
678
00:33:48,985 --> 00:33:50,653
just give me a call.
679
00:33:50,654 --> 00:33:52,363
- Sure. Oh.
- And if I don't answer,
680
00:33:52,364 --> 00:33:54,865
of course I'll call right back,
but I'll probably answer.
681
00:33:54,866 --> 00:33:56,659
- Oh.
- And all prayers welcome.
682
00:33:56,660 --> 00:33:58,160
- Sure.
- Thank you so much.
683
00:33:58,161 --> 00:34:00,329
- God bless.
- [Jamie] Bye-bye.
684
00:34:00,330 --> 00:34:03,332
Ooh, Marci! Hello, girl!
685
00:34:03,333 --> 00:34:04,833
Hold up.
686
00:34:04,834 --> 00:34:07,211
Diane, I think her dog--
687
00:34:07,212 --> 00:34:09,714
Yeah, a hawk.
I saw it happen from the window.
688
00:34:11,967 --> 00:34:14,176
- Should we tell her?
- You heard her.
689
00:34:14,177 --> 00:34:15,679
She needs to keep hope alive.
690
00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:18,681
- [Jamie] Oh, thank you.
- [server] Of course.
691
00:34:18,682 --> 00:34:23,018
I'm beginning to understand this
whole green chile obsession.
692
00:34:23,019 --> 00:34:24,688
- It's basically a cult.
- [laughing]
693
00:34:25,355 --> 00:34:26,356
[Diane sighs]
694
00:34:26,731 --> 00:34:28,358
Henry couldn't get enough, either.
695
00:34:28,692 --> 00:34:30,526
[people chattering]
696
00:34:30,527 --> 00:34:34,530
Oh, do you want to start a--
a list of things we need to do?
697
00:34:34,531 --> 00:34:37,408
I have one. Henry made it.
698
00:34:37,409 --> 00:34:39,285
- Oh.
- He found it
to be one of the perks
699
00:34:39,286 --> 00:34:40,704
of knowing his "end date."
700
00:34:41,705 --> 00:34:42,871
His words.
701
00:34:42,872 --> 00:34:44,040
I haven't opened it.
702
00:34:45,542 --> 00:34:48,335
Are you sure you want me to?
I mean, it might be a note.
703
00:34:48,336 --> 00:34:51,423
I was by his side in the end,
we said everything.
704
00:34:52,716 --> 00:34:53,717
Okay.
705
00:34:56,636 --> 00:34:57,637
Alrighty.
706
00:35:00,473 --> 00:35:02,225
Yep. See, just a list.
707
00:35:04,728 --> 00:35:07,730
"Henry's Exit Strategy.
708
00:35:07,731 --> 00:35:09,773
"Number one,
I want a fully stocked bar
709
00:35:09,774 --> 00:35:11,609
"at the reception,
but no champagne.
710
00:35:11,610 --> 00:35:13,987
"I hate it, so no one
toast me with it.
711
00:35:15,238 --> 00:35:17,323
"Number two,
music at the service.
712
00:35:17,324 --> 00:35:19,408
"You know me, Diane.
I don't do subtle.
713
00:35:19,409 --> 00:35:21,285
"So, Beach Boys'
'God Only Knows'
714
00:35:21,286 --> 00:35:23,454
"as the guests arrive.
And as they leave,
715
00:35:23,455 --> 00:35:26,666
Barry White's 'You're the First,
the Last, My Everything.'"
716
00:35:27,751 --> 00:35:31,253
Well, that's not gonna
fly with his church.
717
00:35:31,254 --> 00:35:33,339
Well, his church
hasn't met me yet.
718
00:35:33,340 --> 00:35:34,758
And you haven't met his church.
719
00:35:35,925 --> 00:35:37,926
- Well, then they'll
do it for you.
- No.
720
00:35:37,927 --> 00:35:40,846
They don't know me.
They know of me.
721
00:35:40,847 --> 00:35:43,307
I'd drop Henry off
and pick him up.
722
00:35:43,308 --> 00:35:45,602
Henry made friends here,
I made acquaintances.
723
00:35:46,478 --> 00:35:48,812
Well, then they'll do it
for Henry.
724
00:35:48,813 --> 00:35:49,814
What else?
725
00:35:51,524 --> 00:35:54,818
Uh, "Number three, flowers.
I leave that up to you, Diane.
726
00:35:54,819 --> 00:35:57,697
"Fill the church with whatever
makes you feel New York.
727
00:35:59,282 --> 00:36:00,367
"One stipulation.
728
00:36:02,410 --> 00:36:05,204
You must purchase the flowers
from Doris Kato's cousin."
729
00:36:05,205 --> 00:36:06,664
Are you fucking kidding me?
730
00:36:06,665 --> 00:36:08,123
"Her name is Kathy,
by the way.
731
00:36:08,124 --> 00:36:09,500
- I know you weren't listening."
- [sighs]
732
00:36:09,501 --> 00:36:10,710
[softly] My God.
733
00:36:11,795 --> 00:36:13,045
- "Number four."
- What?
734
00:36:13,046 --> 00:36:15,173
Invite Kathy to the service?
735
00:36:17,509 --> 00:36:18,968
"Finish my painting."
736
00:36:24,015 --> 00:36:26,517
Well, that's not happening.
I can't paint.
737
00:36:26,518 --> 00:36:29,061
"It doesn't matter
that you can't paint, Diane.
738
00:36:29,062 --> 00:36:30,689
"Painting brought us together.
739
00:36:31,648 --> 00:36:33,692
I want you to finish
what I couldn't."
740
00:36:34,734 --> 00:36:36,568
Well...
[clearing throat]
741
00:36:36,569 --> 00:36:38,488
It is finished.
That's how I want it.
742
00:36:40,699 --> 00:36:42,324
Well, it might be cool
to have some--
743
00:36:42,325 --> 00:36:44,160
Are there any other numbers,
or is that it?
744
00:36:52,210 --> 00:36:54,878
Can you be done?
We've got a lot to do.
745
00:36:54,879 --> 00:36:57,381
Yeah, I-- yeah, I can be done.
746
00:36:57,382 --> 00:36:58,383
Hello?
747
00:37:00,051 --> 00:37:03,178
I just want to reiterate, again,
how very honored I am
748
00:37:03,179 --> 00:37:04,847
to be entrusted
with these arrangements.
749
00:37:04,848 --> 00:37:06,515
Well, that's the hope.
But I should warn you,
750
00:37:06,516 --> 00:37:08,267
my husband was very specific.
751
00:37:08,268 --> 00:37:10,436
He wants to feel New York,
so I'm not sure if you even--
752
00:37:10,437 --> 00:37:12,271
Of course. Spring? Summer?
753
00:37:12,272 --> 00:37:15,190
- What was his favorite season?
- Spring. But specifically,
754
00:37:15,191 --> 00:37:17,192
- it should include tulips.
- We should start with my tulips.
755
00:37:17,193 --> 00:37:18,694
And I'm gonna want
a wide variety of colors--
756
00:37:18,695 --> 00:37:19,778
You won't believe
all the colors.
757
00:37:19,779 --> 00:37:21,280
Well, it's one thing to say it.
758
00:37:21,281 --> 00:37:23,532
But you need to see them.
Of course.
759
00:37:23,533 --> 00:37:25,535
[♪ soft cheerful music playing
over speakers]
760
00:37:28,413 --> 00:37:29,788
Your signature, please.
761
00:37:29,789 --> 00:37:31,875
And just the deposit
is due today.
762
00:37:32,709 --> 00:37:34,585
Um, Kathy,
the succulent,
763
00:37:34,586 --> 00:37:36,879
the one that Henry
and Diane bought here,
764
00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:38,422
um, it's not doing well.
765
00:37:38,423 --> 00:37:40,299
- Oh, no.
- [Jamie] I know.
766
00:37:40,300 --> 00:37:42,469
I know, and I'm wondering
if maybe it wasn't in the...
767
00:37:43,595 --> 00:37:46,263
healthiest of conditions
when they got it?
768
00:37:46,264 --> 00:37:49,141
'Cause it doesn't seem like
they did anything wrong.
769
00:37:49,142 --> 00:37:51,477
And it's likely Diane
will be able to save it,
770
00:37:51,478 --> 00:37:54,396
- but it's just, you know,
it's a little disappointing.
- [Kathy] Of course.
771
00:37:54,397 --> 00:37:56,273
- I-- I'm so sorry.
- [Jamie] No, no, no.
772
00:37:56,274 --> 00:37:58,776
I only mention it
because of Henry.
773
00:37:58,777 --> 00:38:00,652
Because he just--
he loved plants,
774
00:38:00,653 --> 00:38:03,406
and they were very much
a passion of his.
775
00:38:04,449 --> 00:38:06,617
And your cousin
recommended you.
776
00:38:06,618 --> 00:38:08,160
No. Say no more.
777
00:38:08,161 --> 00:38:09,912
Please, let me try
and make it right.
778
00:38:09,913 --> 00:38:11,079
30% off.
779
00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:13,415
What? No. Oh, Kathy.
780
00:38:13,416 --> 00:38:15,001
- No, I insist.
- Thank you. Well, thank you.
781
00:38:17,629 --> 00:38:19,588
Take your victory lap quickly.
782
00:38:19,589 --> 00:38:21,423
Can you believe
this cold weather?
783
00:38:21,424 --> 00:38:24,092
I mean, I've been here a while,
but when you hear "desert,"
784
00:38:24,093 --> 00:38:25,511
- you think...
- [both] It's gotta be hot!
785
00:38:25,512 --> 00:38:26,596
- No.
- I know.
786
00:38:29,849 --> 00:38:31,809
So, maybe in a day or so,
we'll just give it
787
00:38:31,810 --> 00:38:33,436
a little misting.
788
00:38:35,313 --> 00:38:37,356
Are you picking out
some photos to display?
789
00:38:37,357 --> 00:38:39,942
Yes, I do have some ideas
for my husband's funeral.
790
00:38:39,943 --> 00:38:41,944
[Jamie chuckles]
791
00:38:41,945 --> 00:38:43,487
Oh, wow.
792
00:38:43,488 --> 00:38:44,489
Tyler.
793
00:38:46,115 --> 00:38:47,366
[Diane] [sighs] Yep.
794
00:38:47,367 --> 00:38:48,785
Always adorable.
795
00:38:57,627 --> 00:38:59,002
[Jamie] Aw.
796
00:38:59,003 --> 00:39:01,839
Tyler has this one
framed in his house.
797
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:03,841
- Mm.
- [Jamie chuckles]
798
00:39:03,842 --> 00:39:05,342
Has he told you
a lot about his dad?
799
00:39:05,343 --> 00:39:06,636
Oh, yeah.
800
00:39:08,471 --> 00:39:09,972
I mean, mentioned, really.
801
00:39:09,973 --> 00:39:11,307
I mean, just like pieces, not...
802
00:39:12,475 --> 00:39:15,394
Well, I'll have to give you
more photos of them
803
00:39:15,395 --> 00:39:16,729
to take back to LA.
804
00:39:18,314 --> 00:39:19,691
For sure.
805
00:39:21,234 --> 00:39:22,818
Who's this kid?
806
00:39:22,819 --> 00:39:25,237
There's a lot of pictures
of them together.
807
00:39:25,238 --> 00:39:27,406
Is he a-- Is he a cousin?
808
00:39:27,407 --> 00:39:29,491
No, that's Bobby,
his first boyfriend.
809
00:39:29,492 --> 00:39:31,327
[laughing]
810
00:39:34,747 --> 00:39:36,164
What?
811
00:39:36,165 --> 00:39:37,166
No!
812
00:39:38,167 --> 00:39:39,419
They're like, what, 11?
813
00:39:40,336 --> 00:39:41,837
Ten.
814
00:39:41,838 --> 00:39:43,213
They didn't say
they were boyfriends,
815
00:39:43,214 --> 00:39:44,673
but I knew.
816
00:39:44,674 --> 00:39:46,842
I actually caught them once.
They didn't see me,
817
00:39:46,843 --> 00:39:48,760
but yeah,
I caught them exploring.
818
00:39:48,761 --> 00:39:50,263
Nothing scandalous.
819
00:39:52,015 --> 00:39:54,016
- That had to be rough.
- Why?
820
00:39:54,017 --> 00:39:55,851
I told you,
I always knew he was gay.
821
00:39:55,852 --> 00:39:57,895
Well, it's one thing to know,
it's another thing to see them--
822
00:39:57,896 --> 00:39:59,521
I mean, what did you even say?
823
00:39:59,522 --> 00:40:02,232
I said nothing, to this day.
824
00:40:02,233 --> 00:40:04,526
I never wanted him to feel
that anything was wrong
825
00:40:04,527 --> 00:40:06,863
with what they were doing
or what they might be feeling.
826
00:40:10,283 --> 00:40:11,784
Wow, that's, um...
827
00:40:13,953 --> 00:40:15,038
Okay.
828
00:40:15,788 --> 00:40:18,707
So, uh, are Tyler
and Bobby still in touch?
829
00:40:18,708 --> 00:40:20,709
- I imagine so. Why?
- I don't know.
830
00:40:20,710 --> 00:40:23,046
You know, he was cute.
At least then.
831
00:40:23,755 --> 00:40:27,299
He's hot now.
Big-time interior designer.
832
00:40:27,300 --> 00:40:29,301
Great taste.
833
00:40:29,302 --> 00:40:31,386
He actually lives in LA, too.
834
00:40:31,387 --> 00:40:33,764
I'm surprised
you've never met him.
835
00:40:33,765 --> 00:40:36,224
I mean, you know,
Tyler doesn't include me
836
00:40:36,225 --> 00:40:37,267
in all of his circles,
837
00:40:37,268 --> 00:40:39,645
and he does not want
for friends.
838
00:40:39,646 --> 00:40:42,940
I imagine he does not want for
more than just friends, either.
839
00:40:42,941 --> 00:40:44,942
Not if he's still like he was
when he came out.
840
00:40:44,943 --> 00:40:46,735
Maybe even before he came out.
841
00:40:46,736 --> 00:40:48,570
I don't know, I just know
there was a revolving door
842
00:40:48,571 --> 00:40:50,072
of men who fell for Tyler.
[chuckles]
843
00:40:50,073 --> 00:40:51,449
[chuckles awkwardly]
844
00:40:52,450 --> 00:40:55,745
Well, maybe one day Tyler
will introduce you to Bobby.
845
00:40:57,455 --> 00:40:58,997
Yeah.
If he does, he does.
846
00:40:58,998 --> 00:40:59,999
Mm.
847
00:41:01,334 --> 00:41:02,709
[♪ Muzak playing in store]
848
00:41:02,710 --> 00:41:05,088
So, have you ever gone
through the revolving door?
849
00:41:06,255 --> 00:41:07,589
What?
850
00:41:07,590 --> 00:41:09,425
Tyler's revolving door.
851
00:41:10,510 --> 00:41:13,804
- No, we're just friends.
- Not even for a night?
852
00:41:13,805 --> 00:41:17,099
The night you two met,
when you "offered yourself up"?
853
00:41:17,100 --> 00:41:19,769
That's not...
I went home alone.
854
00:41:20,812 --> 00:41:22,854
No, Tyler and I agreed
from early on
855
00:41:22,855 --> 00:41:26,650
that our relationship
was different, what with work.
856
00:41:26,651 --> 00:41:28,987
Oh, so there was
talk of it, though?
857
00:41:30,029 --> 00:41:32,239
- Oh, inevitably.
- Inevitably?
858
00:41:32,240 --> 00:41:34,282
Inevitably. You know, you spend
a lot of time with someone,
859
00:41:34,283 --> 00:41:36,326
you get to know them,
you start to care for them.
860
00:41:36,327 --> 00:41:38,829
Yeah, you can inevitably
start to wonder.
861
00:41:38,830 --> 00:41:41,164
- And you did?
- Well, we both did.
862
00:41:41,165 --> 00:41:43,625
We both wondered,
but we agreed,
863
00:41:43,626 --> 00:41:45,460
uh, we decided on friendship.
864
00:41:45,461 --> 00:41:46,921
- Who decided?
- We both did.
865
00:41:47,964 --> 00:41:49,965
- Quit trying
to cut him out of this.
- No, I-- I... [scoffs]
866
00:41:49,966 --> 00:41:51,466
- [chuckles]
- I just-- I know Tyler
867
00:41:51,467 --> 00:41:53,136
in relationships.
I don't know you.
868
00:41:54,303 --> 00:41:56,388
Well, rest assured,
we went down that road together,
869
00:41:56,389 --> 00:41:58,015
and we got off
that road together.
870
00:41:58,016 --> 00:41:59,641
- [Diane] Mm-hmm.
- At a certain point,
871
00:41:59,642 --> 00:42:01,184
I expressed feelings for Tyler,
872
00:42:01,185 --> 00:42:03,562
and Tyler in turn
expressed feelings for me,
873
00:42:03,563 --> 00:42:06,023
but he also admitted
he wasn't there yet
874
00:42:06,024 --> 00:42:08,233
and wasn't ready
for a relationship.
875
00:42:08,234 --> 00:42:10,610
Oh, so you went further down
the road than he did?
876
00:42:10,611 --> 00:42:12,696
- Oh, my God.
- I'm just trying to clarify.
877
00:42:12,697 --> 00:42:14,156
No, you're trying
to interrogate,
878
00:42:14,157 --> 00:42:16,324
and there's nothing
to interrogate.
879
00:42:16,325 --> 00:42:17,492
I know my life, Diane.
880
00:42:17,493 --> 00:42:19,411
I know my life with Tyler.
Trust me.
881
00:42:19,412 --> 00:42:20,495
- Understood.
- Thank you.
882
00:42:20,496 --> 00:42:22,039
We'll just leave it
at that, then.
883
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:24,291
- Great.
- You expressed your feelings.
884
00:42:24,292 --> 00:42:27,002
Tyler had similar ones,
but he wasn't there yet.
885
00:42:27,003 --> 00:42:30,673
And at a certain point,
you decided to just be friends.
886
00:42:33,009 --> 00:42:34,634
There's a little more
to it than that.
887
00:42:34,635 --> 00:42:37,220
Well, that's all I know.
Maybe we do a charcuterie board.
888
00:42:37,221 --> 00:42:39,014
At a certain point,
Tyler did say
889
00:42:39,015 --> 00:42:40,724
he was open to an "us."
890
00:42:40,725 --> 00:42:42,184
I don't have to be
in the know.
891
00:42:42,185 --> 00:42:43,643
Well, this is just
so you understand.
892
00:42:43,644 --> 00:42:45,187
This was after we decided
on friendship.
893
00:42:45,188 --> 00:42:47,064
It was actually
a good while after.
894
00:42:47,065 --> 00:42:48,398
Okay.
895
00:42:48,399 --> 00:42:50,609
It was on my birthday, actually.
896
00:42:50,610 --> 00:42:53,779
Tyler took me to dinner,
and that's when he said it.
897
00:42:53,780 --> 00:42:56,198
Out of nowhere, he said
he was open to an "us,"
898
00:42:56,199 --> 00:42:58,533
and I was taken aback.
899
00:42:58,534 --> 00:43:00,869
I mean, in a good way.
And I smiled
900
00:43:00,870 --> 00:43:03,830
and said something like,
"I would love that."
901
00:43:03,831 --> 00:43:07,209
And then, we proceeded
to have a very nice dinner.
902
00:43:07,210 --> 00:43:09,419
And then, I went back
to my apartment,
903
00:43:09,420 --> 00:43:14,050
and I woke up to a voicemail
from Tyler the next day...
904
00:43:16,302 --> 00:43:17,804
taking it all back.
905
00:43:20,932 --> 00:43:23,266
Yeah, Tyler said he got home
and he panicked,
906
00:43:23,267 --> 00:43:25,936
and apologized that this
was all happening
907
00:43:25,937 --> 00:43:27,896
on my birthday.
908
00:43:27,897 --> 00:43:30,398
Uh, but yeah,
he was still conflicted.
909
00:43:30,399 --> 00:43:33,653
- About what?
- About the idea of me with him.
910
00:43:34,612 --> 00:43:36,780
We all have types.
911
00:43:36,781 --> 00:43:38,657
It's just the way it is.
912
00:43:38,658 --> 00:43:40,951
And Tyler was worried
that he would ultimately end up
913
00:43:40,952 --> 00:43:43,162
just hurting me
and ruining our friendship.
914
00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:46,081
Needless to say,
I was pissed and I told him
915
00:43:46,082 --> 00:43:48,292
I needed to take
some time alone...
916
00:43:49,502 --> 00:43:50,919
and that I didn't wanna
hear from him,
917
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:52,671
and he was not
to reach out to me.
918
00:43:52,672 --> 00:43:54,131
And he said he understood.
919
00:43:54,132 --> 00:43:55,924
I mean, he had no choice
but to understand.
920
00:43:55,925 --> 00:43:57,425
And he was also to understand
921
00:43:57,426 --> 00:43:59,094
that if I was to come back,
922
00:43:59,095 --> 00:44:00,971
it would be on my terms.
923
00:44:00,972 --> 00:44:03,181
- And you came back?
- Yeah.
924
00:44:03,182 --> 00:44:06,309
But in the way
that I wanted to-- needed to.
925
00:44:06,310 --> 00:44:08,979
And you're okay with that?
With things between you two
926
00:44:08,980 --> 00:44:10,522
not being the way you want?
927
00:44:10,523 --> 00:44:11,941
Yeah, obviously.
I'm here.
928
00:44:13,192 --> 00:44:15,443
Okay. Just making sure.
929
00:44:15,444 --> 00:44:17,446
I know it's not easy
to let go of my son.
930
00:44:24,120 --> 00:44:27,123
[♪ gentle music playing]
931
00:44:36,549 --> 00:44:38,049
- You got it?
- Yep.
932
00:44:38,050 --> 00:44:39,051
Alright.
933
00:44:47,393 --> 00:44:49,060
- Did you move the painting?
- I did.
934
00:44:49,061 --> 00:44:50,562
I thought maybe you would
want it out of the way.
935
00:44:50,563 --> 00:44:52,147
No, I need it where it was.
Put it back.
936
00:44:52,148 --> 00:44:53,149
Please.
937
00:44:54,483 --> 00:44:56,694
- Of course. I'm sorry.
- It's alright.
938
00:44:58,863 --> 00:45:00,031
[Diane sighs]
939
00:45:03,826 --> 00:45:07,371
How do you feel about me
boxing some of that up?
940
00:45:08,915 --> 00:45:12,083
I could look into some
take-back programs.
941
00:45:12,084 --> 00:45:13,960
That's what I did
with my parents' medication.
942
00:45:13,961 --> 00:45:16,379
It's just a place
to properly dispose of it.
943
00:45:16,380 --> 00:45:17,381
Fine.
944
00:45:19,383 --> 00:45:21,384
Wow, that's a great picture
of Henry.
945
00:45:21,385 --> 00:45:23,720
Is it-- is that your place
in New York?
946
00:45:23,721 --> 00:45:25,680
[Diane] Loft in Chelsea.
947
00:45:25,681 --> 00:45:27,724
- [Jamie] So, these are all
of your choices?
- [Diane] Mm-hmm.
948
00:45:27,725 --> 00:45:29,392
Okay.
949
00:45:29,393 --> 00:45:31,603
- What?
- Nothing.
950
00:45:31,604 --> 00:45:35,190
No, go ahead.
"Get off" on your opinion.
951
00:45:35,191 --> 00:45:36,942
It just seems like it's
a lot of Henry
952
00:45:36,943 --> 00:45:38,610
from your time back east.
953
00:45:38,611 --> 00:45:42,614
- Where we spent 26 years.
- Well, and here for over three,
954
00:45:42,615 --> 00:45:44,407
and a lot of the people
who are gonna be attending--
955
00:45:44,408 --> 00:45:47,494
This is not about them.
This is about Henry.
956
00:45:47,495 --> 00:45:50,122
And New York was
our happy place, not just mine.
957
00:45:54,252 --> 00:45:56,087
- Diane, it's okay to embrace--
- This is Henry!
958
00:46:02,885 --> 00:46:03,886
Yes.
959
00:46:11,727 --> 00:46:13,395
With my parents,
960
00:46:13,396 --> 00:46:17,357
I remember I just--
I had the hardest time
961
00:46:17,358 --> 00:46:19,609
picking out pictures of them
to display.
962
00:46:19,610 --> 00:46:22,780
And I'm just speaking
for myself here.
963
00:46:24,907 --> 00:46:27,659
You know, I just wanted
to see them at their best.
964
00:46:27,660 --> 00:46:30,495
And then, I would look at these
pictures that I had taken later
965
00:46:30,496 --> 00:46:32,580
when their bodies had been--
966
00:46:32,581 --> 00:46:35,500
When I knew
what was happening in there.
967
00:46:35,501 --> 00:46:37,085
And these--
and these pictures were just--
968
00:46:37,086 --> 00:46:39,004
It was little stuff,
candid things, you know.
969
00:46:39,005 --> 00:46:41,966
It was them laughing,
or reading, or...
970
00:46:42,967 --> 00:46:44,843
sitting on the porch
or the couch
971
00:46:44,844 --> 00:46:46,429
holding hands and...
972
00:46:48,764 --> 00:46:51,558
I don't know, I guess I realized
those were the moments
973
00:46:51,559 --> 00:46:53,853
that I was really seeing them
at their best.
974
00:46:55,771 --> 00:46:57,940
That despite everything,
they were just...
975
00:46:59,442 --> 00:47:00,443
being.
976
00:47:04,697 --> 00:47:06,281
- Okay.
- What?
977
00:47:06,282 --> 00:47:08,158
No, I hear you.
978
00:47:08,159 --> 00:47:09,659
- It's just a thought.
- [sighs]
979
00:47:09,660 --> 00:47:11,620
No, you have a very good point.
980
00:47:14,290 --> 00:47:16,334
[insects chirring]
981
00:47:17,126 --> 00:47:19,044
[owl hooting]
982
00:47:19,045 --> 00:47:20,046
[light clicks]
983
00:47:23,966 --> 00:47:25,343
- Oh, thank you.
- Sure.
984
00:47:26,427 --> 00:47:28,345
If you need another blanket,
just let me know.
985
00:47:28,346 --> 00:47:30,513
Oh, no, I'm sure
that's-- that's fine.
986
00:47:30,514 --> 00:47:33,808
- Thank you very much.
- I appreciate you being so open
987
00:47:33,809 --> 00:47:35,226
about your parents.
988
00:47:35,227 --> 00:47:36,395
Of course.
989
00:47:42,985 --> 00:47:45,237
For me, toward the end
with Henry...
990
00:47:46,238 --> 00:47:48,490
we-- we didn't know
it was the end.
991
00:47:48,491 --> 00:47:50,993
And had I known,
I would never have...
992
00:47:52,536 --> 00:47:55,330
[clearing throat] One night,
Henry had taken a fall.
993
00:47:55,331 --> 00:47:58,166
He had been sleeping
out here for a while.
994
00:47:58,167 --> 00:48:00,335
Navigating had become difficult.
995
00:48:00,336 --> 00:48:02,837
And he fell trying
to get to the bathroom.
996
00:48:02,838 --> 00:48:05,132
I was sleeping in--
in our bedroom.
997
00:48:06,175 --> 00:48:10,179
His voice had become weak
and gravelly by then, so...
998
00:48:13,849 --> 00:48:15,726
I don't know how long
he had been...
999
00:48:29,031 --> 00:48:32,034
So, I don't know how long he had
been calling out for help.
1000
00:48:34,036 --> 00:48:36,621
He had soiled himself,
and I tried to get him up.
1001
00:48:36,622 --> 00:48:38,706
I couldn't,
so I ran to the neighbors,
1002
00:48:38,707 --> 00:48:41,251
the newer neighbors
just a few doors down.
1003
00:48:41,252 --> 00:48:42,752
Uh, Henry knew them.
1004
00:48:42,753 --> 00:48:45,548
Of course,
I hadn't even bothered to...
1005
00:48:48,717 --> 00:48:51,928
[sighs heavily]
I pounded on the door,
1006
00:48:51,929 --> 00:48:53,638
and the young man answers.
1007
00:48:53,639 --> 00:48:55,141
[sighs, groans]
1008
00:48:56,058 --> 00:48:57,893
Chris, I should say his name.
Chris.
1009
00:48:58,936 --> 00:49:00,104
I don't think I...
1010
00:49:02,148 --> 00:49:03,940
explained much,
maybe three words,
1011
00:49:03,941 --> 00:49:05,483
"Henry had fallen,"
1012
00:49:05,484 --> 00:49:07,068
and Chris was already
on his way.
1013
00:49:07,069 --> 00:49:08,653
He came right in,
he swooped Henry up
1014
00:49:08,654 --> 00:49:10,655
like nothing, like air.
1015
00:49:10,656 --> 00:49:11,907
And Henry said...
1016
00:49:12,950 --> 00:49:15,577
"My Prince Charming, you came."
1017
00:49:15,578 --> 00:49:17,121
[chuckles]
1018
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:20,123
Chris laughed
and Henry laughed,
1019
00:49:20,124 --> 00:49:23,252
and I said, "Well,
that's a stupid fucking joke."
1020
00:49:24,503 --> 00:49:26,088
I yelled it, actually.
1021
00:49:27,256 --> 00:49:28,756
I was so mad,
1022
00:49:28,757 --> 00:49:31,509
so mad at having to make
everything bearable.
1023
00:49:31,510 --> 00:49:33,761
And-- and this is just
so you understand
1024
00:49:33,762 --> 00:49:35,431
why I need that painting there.
1025
00:49:37,141 --> 00:49:38,516
'Cause I hate it.
1026
00:49:38,517 --> 00:49:40,768
Like I hated that joke,
1027
00:49:40,769 --> 00:49:43,271
because it reminds me
of how I was.
1028
00:49:43,272 --> 00:49:45,106
I-I don't see the beauty
of him painting it.
1029
00:49:45,107 --> 00:49:48,651
I see the tragedy of him
not finishing it.
1030
00:49:48,652 --> 00:49:52,071
I see me hating his body because
it wouldn't listen to him,
1031
00:49:52,072 --> 00:49:54,657
hating how long it took him
to put on his seat belt,
1032
00:49:54,658 --> 00:49:56,701
or to find the breath
to tell a story
1033
00:49:56,702 --> 00:49:58,786
he told so many times before.
1034
00:49:58,787 --> 00:50:00,538
I see me... [sighs]
1035
00:50:00,539 --> 00:50:02,624
...angry and frustrated
and short,
1036
00:50:02,625 --> 00:50:04,043
and I see Henry...
1037
00:50:05,794 --> 00:50:08,297
patient and joyful and loving...
1038
00:50:09,340 --> 00:50:11,799
all for me so I'd feel better.
1039
00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:13,302
The one who wasn't dying.
1040
00:50:14,970 --> 00:50:17,972
When I look at that,
I see me still here
1041
00:50:17,973 --> 00:50:20,141
without the only man
who ever truly knew me,
1042
00:50:20,142 --> 00:50:22,560
everything about me,
1043
00:50:22,561 --> 00:50:25,022
and stayed despite that.
[chuckles]
1044
00:50:26,482 --> 00:50:28,192
I need that there so I see me.
1045
00:50:32,154 --> 00:50:33,613
Good night.
1046
00:50:33,614 --> 00:50:36,492
[♪ gentle music playing]
1047
00:50:39,537 --> 00:50:40,538
[light clicks]
1048
00:50:41,163 --> 00:50:43,665
[insects chirring]
1049
00:50:43,666 --> 00:50:45,251
[phone buzzing]
1050
00:50:47,086 --> 00:50:48,504
[phone buzzing]
1051
00:50:53,092 --> 00:50:55,094
[phone continues buzzing]
1052
00:51:00,391 --> 00:51:02,393
[birdsong]
1053
00:51:08,691 --> 00:51:09,692
[approaching footsteps]
1054
00:51:12,111 --> 00:51:13,112
[door creaking]
1055
00:51:16,198 --> 00:51:18,032
I selected a few options
for scripture readings
1056
00:51:18,033 --> 00:51:21,869
for the service, ones that
I know Henry was fond of
1057
00:51:21,870 --> 00:51:24,455
- from our Bible study class.
- Okay.
1058
00:51:24,456 --> 00:51:27,041
There's John 15:11.
1059
00:51:27,042 --> 00:51:29,877
"That My joy
may remain in you
1060
00:51:29,878 --> 00:51:31,714
and that your joy may be full."
1061
00:51:32,715 --> 00:51:35,300
- Well--
- There's also John 14,
one through three--
1062
00:51:35,301 --> 00:51:37,719
Okay, I will trust you
with the Bible stuff.
1063
00:51:37,720 --> 00:51:39,637
Uh, one area
that is very import--
1064
00:51:39,638 --> 00:51:42,223
- [doors banging]
- Sorry I'm late.
1065
00:51:42,224 --> 00:51:44,142
[minister]
Diane, you know Judith?
1066
00:51:44,143 --> 00:51:45,393
Of course.
1067
00:51:45,394 --> 00:51:47,312
Judith is our choir director.
1068
00:51:47,313 --> 00:51:48,563
[Judith] Let's get this
party started.
1069
00:51:48,564 --> 00:51:49,897
Okay. Hey, neighbor.
1070
00:51:49,898 --> 00:51:51,608
[minister] And seeing that Henry
was a beloved member
1071
00:51:51,609 --> 00:51:53,234
of our choir,
1072
00:51:53,235 --> 00:51:55,987
I know that music selection
needs to be special.
1073
00:51:55,988 --> 00:51:58,573
Yes, a-actually, that--
that's what I was...
1074
00:51:58,574 --> 00:52:00,908
- Henry was very specific.
- [minister] Even better.
1075
00:52:00,909 --> 00:52:03,620
Yeah, he wants the Beach Boys'
"God Only Knows"
1076
00:52:03,621 --> 00:52:05,580
as people arrive,
1077
00:52:05,581 --> 00:52:07,957
and "You're the First,
My Last, My Everything"
1078
00:52:07,958 --> 00:52:09,500
as they leave.
1079
00:52:09,501 --> 00:52:11,794
- That's, uh, Barry White. Yes.
- Yes.
1080
00:52:11,795 --> 00:52:13,921
Barry White.
Wonderful talent.
1081
00:52:13,922 --> 00:52:16,424
- [minister] Well...
- And I mention this
1082
00:52:16,425 --> 00:52:17,592
because of Henry.
1083
00:52:17,593 --> 00:52:19,510
Music was his passion.
1084
00:52:19,511 --> 00:52:21,846
Singing brought him
immense joy.
1085
00:52:21,847 --> 00:52:25,308
Typically, only traditional
hymns are used
1086
00:52:25,309 --> 00:52:27,602
- because-- No, listen--
- Seeing-- seeing as
how much Henry
1087
00:52:27,603 --> 00:52:29,187
was a part of this church,
1088
00:52:29,188 --> 00:52:31,105
and how much the church
meant to him,
1089
00:52:31,106 --> 00:52:32,649
to not have these songs
1090
00:52:32,650 --> 00:52:34,985
would just be
a huge disappointment.
1091
00:52:35,944 --> 00:52:37,196
Well, um...
1092
00:52:38,322 --> 00:52:41,824
These are lovely
and spirited choices, Diane.
1093
00:52:41,825 --> 00:52:43,952
And one has "God" in the title.
1094
00:52:44,787 --> 00:52:46,663
[sighs] Yes, but, um,
1095
00:52:46,664 --> 00:52:49,667
may I suggest something
more appropriate?
1096
00:52:50,584 --> 00:52:54,296
I mean, that I know Henry
would love to hear us all sing.
1097
00:52:55,464 --> 00:52:58,633
I'm thinking, uh, "Guide Me,
O Thou Great Redeemer."
1098
00:52:58,634 --> 00:53:00,301
- [minister] Oh. Perfect.
- Oh, it's so good.
1099
00:53:00,302 --> 00:53:03,971
And "Tis So Sweet
to Trust in Jesus."
1100
00:53:03,972 --> 00:53:05,890
- [Diane] Mm.
- It's a big hit.
1101
00:53:05,891 --> 00:53:07,518
- Really big hit.
- Yes.
1102
00:53:08,394 --> 00:53:10,521
And how do you know Henry
would love these hymns?
1103
00:53:11,522 --> 00:53:13,648
Because of the joy
I would see on his face
1104
00:53:13,649 --> 00:53:15,566
- when he was singing them.
- Oh.
1105
00:53:15,567 --> 00:53:17,151
Mm, thank you, Judith.
1106
00:53:17,152 --> 00:53:18,653
Of course, yes.
1107
00:53:18,654 --> 00:53:22,324
Thank you for that
big bowl of bullshit.
1108
00:53:23,867 --> 00:53:26,244
- [door slamming]
- Traditional fucking hymns only!
1109
00:53:26,245 --> 00:53:27,412
What?
1110
00:53:27,413 --> 00:53:29,163
Those people
are unbelievable!
1111
00:53:29,164 --> 00:53:30,456
- Who?
- The church!
1112
00:53:30,457 --> 00:53:33,000
They shot down my songs
like I knew they would!
1113
00:53:33,001 --> 00:53:34,252
Okay, just give me a second.
1114
00:53:34,253 --> 00:53:36,839
[groaning] Yes. Yes.
1115
00:53:37,923 --> 00:53:39,382
- [exclaiming]
- Why didn't you wake me up?
1116
00:53:39,383 --> 00:53:40,675
I could have gone with you.
1117
00:53:40,676 --> 00:53:43,261
Because I'm capable!
I wanted to be capable!
1118
00:53:43,262 --> 00:53:45,138
[Jamie] Well, maybe I could
talk to them.
1119
00:53:45,139 --> 00:53:46,848
[Diane] And do what,
something I couldn't?
1120
00:53:46,849 --> 00:53:48,683
No, I-- Did you
tell 'em about the list?
1121
00:53:48,684 --> 00:53:50,685
Of course I told them
about the list!
1122
00:53:50,686 --> 00:53:53,020
O-Okay, look, you're a little
emotional right now.
1123
00:53:53,021 --> 00:53:55,356
What if I go back there
and then--
1124
00:53:55,357 --> 00:53:56,858
and try to reason with them?
1125
00:53:56,859 --> 00:53:58,359
Good luck with Judith Bibbs.
1126
00:53:58,360 --> 00:53:59,527
Who?
1127
00:53:59,528 --> 00:54:01,029
Do these look
like chihuahua to you?
1128
00:54:01,864 --> 00:54:04,532
Wait. What?
1129
00:54:04,533 --> 00:54:07,536
[♪ dramatic music playing]
1130
00:54:09,246 --> 00:54:10,247
Diane!
1131
00:54:15,711 --> 00:54:16,712
Diane!
1132
00:54:18,630 --> 00:54:19,882
Diane!
1133
00:54:22,968 --> 00:54:24,218
What are you doing?
1134
00:54:24,219 --> 00:54:25,636
What does it look
like I'm doing?
1135
00:54:25,637 --> 00:54:26,971
I'm ending hope.
1136
00:54:26,972 --> 00:54:29,265
- Are you insane?
- What? I'm giving her closure.
1137
00:54:29,266 --> 00:54:30,850
Well, you're gonna give her
a heart attack.
1138
00:54:30,851 --> 00:54:33,061
Well, she acted like she knew
Henry better than me.
1139
00:54:34,730 --> 00:54:36,064
[laughing]
1140
00:54:38,233 --> 00:54:40,818
- Oh, you find this funny?
- Yes! Yes, I do.
1141
00:54:40,819 --> 00:54:43,738
I'm watching a woman
throw chicken bones into a yard,
1142
00:54:43,739 --> 00:54:47,074
hoping that another woman thinks
it's pieces of her chihuahua.
1143
00:54:47,075 --> 00:54:50,162
A chihuahua that got
carried off by a hawk.
1144
00:54:51,079 --> 00:54:52,455
[laughing] So, yeah.
1145
00:54:52,456 --> 00:54:53,998
Yeah, yeah,
I'm laughing at that.
1146
00:54:53,999 --> 00:54:58,252
[laughing] Well, that's my--
That's my humor.
1147
00:54:58,253 --> 00:54:59,421
[Diane sighs]
1148
00:55:00,255 --> 00:55:01,590
[exhales]
1149
00:55:02,758 --> 00:55:05,969
[sighs] I just wanted it
to be what Henry wanted.
1150
00:55:08,972 --> 00:55:10,098
I know.
1151
00:55:11,099 --> 00:55:12,767
[exhales sharply]
1152
00:55:12,768 --> 00:55:14,353
We need to pick up
these bones.
1153
00:55:15,771 --> 00:55:17,480
Okay, let's see.
1154
00:55:17,481 --> 00:55:19,023
That's three over here.
1155
00:55:19,024 --> 00:55:20,233
- There's some more.
- Oh.
1156
00:55:20,234 --> 00:55:21,609
- I think that is one.
- [car horn honking]
1157
00:55:21,610 --> 00:55:22,860
- Oh, shit.
- Shit.
1158
00:55:22,861 --> 00:55:23,904
[Judith] Hey!
1159
00:55:24,655 --> 00:55:26,364
- What's going on?
- [Diane clearing throat]
1160
00:55:26,365 --> 00:55:27,782
[Diane]
Nothing, everything's fine.
1161
00:55:27,783 --> 00:55:29,784
- [laughing]
- Um, we were--
1162
00:55:29,785 --> 00:55:31,869
We were just, um--
I did a...
1163
00:55:31,870 --> 00:55:34,205
[laughing]
Where are you going?
1164
00:55:34,206 --> 00:55:36,290
- Um...
- [Judith] I didn't hear her.
1165
00:55:36,291 --> 00:55:39,044
I-- No, I-- I thought I left
my shirt out here.
1166
00:55:39,878 --> 00:55:42,630
But, uh, nope.
1167
00:55:42,631 --> 00:55:44,174
See you, Judy.
1168
00:55:45,133 --> 00:55:46,467
It's Judith.
1169
00:55:46,468 --> 00:55:49,011
[Jamie and Diane laughing]
1170
00:55:49,012 --> 00:55:51,138
Judith so thinks
we're sleeping together.
1171
00:55:51,139 --> 00:55:52,807
[both laughing]
1172
00:55:52,808 --> 00:55:54,308
If God is kind.
1173
00:55:54,309 --> 00:55:55,853
[both chuckle]
1174
00:55:56,854 --> 00:55:58,354
[Jamie sighs]
1175
00:55:58,355 --> 00:56:00,523
[owl hooting]
1176
00:56:00,524 --> 00:56:02,484
You can see
so many stars here.
1177
00:56:03,485 --> 00:56:04,486
[Diane] Yeah.
1178
00:56:05,737 --> 00:56:07,239
This part, I don't hate.
1179
00:56:08,156 --> 00:56:10,158
[insects chirring]
1180
00:56:12,661 --> 00:56:13,829
Do you think you'll stay?
1181
00:56:15,163 --> 00:56:16,999
No. There's nothing here.
1182
00:56:24,423 --> 00:56:27,341
Well, as much as I love
a liquid dinner...
1183
00:56:27,342 --> 00:56:29,677
- Oh, sure. [sighs]
- Will you take care of the fire?
1184
00:56:29,678 --> 00:56:30,679
Yes.
1185
00:56:34,433 --> 00:56:35,851
[smacks legs]
Hmm.
1186
00:56:38,103 --> 00:56:39,897
[phone buzzing]
1187
00:56:41,023 --> 00:56:42,691
[phone buzzing]
1188
00:56:48,363 --> 00:56:50,782
[phone buzzing]
1189
00:57:06,381 --> 00:57:07,633
[phone buzzing]
1190
00:57:13,889 --> 00:57:17,975
Would it be crazy if we opened
another bottle of wine?
1191
00:57:17,976 --> 00:57:20,896
- Or would that--
- My son wants to know
how I took the news.
1192
00:57:21,939 --> 00:57:23,732
"How'd my mom take the news?"
1193
00:57:25,275 --> 00:57:27,069
I assume he's not coming.
1194
00:57:29,404 --> 00:57:30,405
I was gonna tell you.
1195
00:57:31,490 --> 00:57:33,158
Because it's still not safe?
1196
00:57:33,992 --> 00:57:35,243
Yes, unfortunately.
1197
00:57:38,080 --> 00:57:40,164
- Actually, there's more.
- Okay, well--
1198
00:57:40,165 --> 00:57:41,624
Ah.
1199
00:57:41,625 --> 00:57:44,335
"How'd my mom take the news?
I imagine she's pissed.
1200
00:57:44,336 --> 00:57:45,504
"But I thought about...
1201
00:57:46,755 --> 00:57:49,465
"what you said,
and you're right.
1202
00:57:49,466 --> 00:57:51,842
It's not my responsibility."
1203
00:57:51,843 --> 00:57:53,512
[smacking lips]
1204
00:57:54,596 --> 00:57:56,597
- I can explain.
- Open your phone.
1205
00:57:56,598 --> 00:57:59,100
- I-- Diane, I can't.
- Fuck your cone of silence.
1206
00:57:59,101 --> 00:58:02,019
"Not my responsibility"?
That sounds awfully familiar.
1207
00:58:02,020 --> 00:58:03,145
That's not exactly what I said.
1208
00:58:03,146 --> 00:58:04,480
Well, then let's see
what you said.
1209
00:58:04,481 --> 00:58:05,815
Diane, I can explain.
1210
00:58:05,816 --> 00:58:07,608
Nothing you can explain
is to be trusted.
1211
00:58:07,609 --> 00:58:10,027
This, I'll trust.
Open your phone.
1212
00:58:10,028 --> 00:58:12,113
It's not that easy, Diane, I...
1213
00:58:12,114 --> 00:58:14,156
- [phone clicking]
- Great. It is that easy.
1214
00:58:14,157 --> 00:58:15,158
Ah!
1215
00:58:16,868 --> 00:58:18,370
[Diane exhales sharply]
1216
00:58:19,371 --> 00:58:20,997
Hmm.
1217
00:58:20,998 --> 00:58:22,332
Quite an exchange.
1218
00:58:23,500 --> 00:58:24,501
Mm-hmm.
1219
00:58:25,293 --> 00:58:26,794
Hm!
1220
00:58:26,795 --> 00:58:27,962
Wow. [chuckles]
1221
00:58:27,963 --> 00:58:30,006
Apparently, they did
get the interview.
1222
00:58:30,007 --> 00:58:32,299
[inhales sharply]
"It was a bit harrowing,
1223
00:58:32,300 --> 00:58:34,885
"but we made it
in and out safely.
1224
00:58:34,886 --> 00:58:36,304
We're back at the hotel."
1225
00:58:37,389 --> 00:58:39,141
I guess you just misspoke.
1226
00:58:40,475 --> 00:58:41,976
- It did become safe.
- Mm-hmm?
1227
00:58:41,977 --> 00:58:43,894
- But then it--
- No, no, no, no, no.
No spoilers.
1228
00:58:43,895 --> 00:58:45,063
[inhales deeply]
1229
00:58:49,901 --> 00:58:52,571
Did Tyler actually
ponder coming?
1230
00:58:55,741 --> 00:58:58,200
He asked me what I thought
he should do.
1231
00:58:58,201 --> 00:58:59,327
"He should do."
1232
00:59:00,245 --> 00:59:03,999
"Your responsibility is to you,
Tyler, not anyone else."
1233
00:59:05,333 --> 00:59:07,836
Apparently, that's exactly
what you said. Mm-hmm.
1234
00:59:09,254 --> 00:59:12,424
[scoffs] "I'll te--" Oh.
"I'll tell her it wasn't safe.
1235
00:59:13,341 --> 00:59:16,343
"She already knows
that's a strong possibility.
1236
00:59:16,344 --> 00:59:19,680
I'll handle things here.
It'll be fine."
1237
00:59:19,681 --> 00:59:22,850
You didn't just quiet his mind,
you made up his mind!
1238
00:59:22,851 --> 00:59:24,894
- I didn't make up--
- "I'm grateful for you,
1239
00:59:24,895 --> 00:59:27,063
but I'm bummed
I won't get to see you."
1240
00:59:27,064 --> 00:59:28,564
Aw!
1241
00:59:28,565 --> 00:59:30,441
"Miss you, love you, Jamie."
1242
00:59:30,442 --> 00:59:32,610
"Miss you, love you,
Tyler."
1243
00:59:32,611 --> 00:59:34,279
What a great read!
1244
00:59:37,074 --> 00:59:38,075
[Diane sighs]
1245
00:59:42,454 --> 00:59:43,914
- I'm sorry, Diane--
- No!
1246
00:59:47,167 --> 00:59:48,709
I'll, uh, pack my things.
1247
00:59:48,710 --> 00:59:49,710
Why?
1248
00:59:49,711 --> 00:59:50,712
[sighs]
1249
00:59:50,879 --> 00:59:52,880
You think your job is done?
1250
00:59:52,881 --> 00:59:56,217
Well, I think,
given the circumstances...
1251
00:59:56,218 --> 00:59:58,135
[Diane] The circumstances?
1252
00:59:58,136 --> 00:59:59,637
The circumstances!
1253
00:59:59,638 --> 01:00:01,931
The circumstances
haven't changed!
1254
01:00:01,932 --> 01:00:04,475
Just more disappointment.
[chuckles weakly]
1255
01:00:04,476 --> 01:00:07,311
That, I...
That, I can manage!
1256
01:00:07,312 --> 01:00:09,063
Plus, like you said,
1257
01:00:09,064 --> 01:00:11,565
"We always knew
this was a strong possibility.
1258
01:00:11,566 --> 01:00:13,734
I'll handle things here.
It'll be fine."
1259
01:00:13,735 --> 01:00:15,236
Your words! So, yeah,
1260
01:00:15,237 --> 01:00:17,155
you can keep
handling things!
1261
01:00:20,992 --> 01:00:22,160
[door slams]
1262
01:00:32,337 --> 01:00:34,339
- [insects chirring]
- [birdsong]
1263
01:00:54,943 --> 01:00:57,946
[♪ soft upbeat music playing]
1264
01:01:08,790 --> 01:01:11,041
All of that's not gonna
fit in that fridge.
1265
01:01:11,042 --> 01:01:13,043
You're gonna need to transfer
everything out of there
1266
01:01:13,044 --> 01:01:14,546
to the one in the garage.
1267
01:01:18,800 --> 01:01:20,510
[sighs]
1268
01:01:26,057 --> 01:01:27,474
I was thinking it might be nice
1269
01:01:27,475 --> 01:01:29,727
to display more of Henry's art
at the reception.
1270
01:01:29,728 --> 01:01:32,021
- That's a great idea.
- We rent a storage unit.
1271
01:01:32,022 --> 01:01:33,647
I wrote down the address.
1272
01:01:33,648 --> 01:01:35,901
Okay, would you, um,
mind putting it on the...
1273
01:01:39,654 --> 01:01:40,989
[door thudding]
1274
01:01:42,741 --> 01:01:44,158
Got it.
1275
01:01:44,159 --> 01:01:45,493
[garage door sliding]
1276
01:02:29,788 --> 01:02:32,791
[♪ gentle music playing]
1277
01:03:06,074 --> 01:03:08,034
[insects chirring]
1278
01:03:14,249 --> 01:03:15,333
[phone chimes]
1279
01:03:23,842 --> 01:03:25,093
[exhales slowly]
1280
01:03:26,428 --> 01:03:28,429
- [light knocking]
- [Jamie] Diane?
1281
01:03:28,430 --> 01:03:29,514
I made dinner.
1282
01:03:52,871 --> 01:03:53,872
[cutlery clattering]
1283
01:03:57,959 --> 01:03:59,127
[Jamie sniffling]
1284
01:04:00,211 --> 01:04:01,670
[Diane clearing throat]
1285
01:04:01,671 --> 01:04:03,048
The bartenders confirmed.
1286
01:04:04,299 --> 01:04:07,676
And they can help with, um,
with cleanup, too.
1287
01:04:07,677 --> 01:04:08,678
Good.
1288
01:04:12,640 --> 01:04:14,391
So, what time did you
want to leave for the--
1289
01:04:14,392 --> 01:04:16,977
I got a text from Tyler
a while ago.
1290
01:04:16,978 --> 01:04:17,979
Mm.
1291
01:04:19,481 --> 01:04:21,732
- Okay.
- He said he was thinking of me
1292
01:04:21,733 --> 01:04:24,360
and apologized
that he couldn't be here.
1293
01:04:24,361 --> 01:04:27,154
But he's sending thoughts
and prayers for tomorrow.
1294
01:04:27,155 --> 01:04:29,699
He also said he would check in
when he got back.
1295
01:04:30,742 --> 01:04:32,785
- That's great.
- Yeah, it's great
1296
01:04:32,786 --> 01:04:35,497
if you just ignore the fact
that it's all a lie.
1297
01:04:36,373 --> 01:04:38,665
Oh, and he sent
one last sentence.
1298
01:04:38,666 --> 01:04:41,503
His usual.
"Miss you and love you, Mom."
1299
01:04:43,505 --> 01:04:46,673
You get that one, too.
I remember reading that.
1300
01:04:46,674 --> 01:04:49,718
At first, I thought it peculiar
for a boss and an employee--
1301
01:04:49,719 --> 01:04:52,388
- Who became friends.
- Well, decided on friends, yes,
1302
01:04:52,389 --> 01:04:54,598
but that's why I said at first,
I found it peculiar.
1303
01:04:54,599 --> 01:04:56,350
And then I thought, well,
1304
01:04:56,351 --> 01:04:57,894
you do have
this history together.
1305
01:04:58,895 --> 01:05:01,939
And this "you loving him,
him conflicted" journey.
1306
01:05:01,940 --> 01:05:04,608
So, yes, it's not strange
that along the way
1307
01:05:04,609 --> 01:05:06,735
you would start saying
that to each other.
1308
01:05:06,736 --> 01:05:09,071
It's how we end our texts.
I think it's nice.
1309
01:05:09,072 --> 01:05:11,366
[Diane] Of course, it's sweet.
And it works.
1310
01:05:13,034 --> 01:05:15,244
I know Tyler won't check in
when he gets back.
1311
01:05:15,245 --> 01:05:18,038
Eventually, yes,
but I imagine it'll be a month
1312
01:05:18,039 --> 01:05:19,873
before I hear from him.
1313
01:05:19,874 --> 01:05:21,917
That's what our relationship
has become.
1314
01:05:21,918 --> 01:05:25,546
Just large chasms of time pass
with no communication,
1315
01:05:25,547 --> 01:05:28,383
and then I'll get the
arbitrary text, "Checking in."
1316
01:05:29,384 --> 01:05:31,218
Quite literally,
that's how it starts.
1317
01:05:31,219 --> 01:05:33,053
"Checking in."
1318
01:05:33,054 --> 01:05:34,430
And of course,
I respond immediately,
1319
01:05:34,431 --> 01:05:35,722
like a mother should,
1320
01:05:35,723 --> 01:05:37,724
and we check in
with one another.
1321
01:05:37,725 --> 01:05:40,270
And at the end of it,
"Miss you, love you, Mom."
1322
01:05:41,229 --> 01:05:43,272
And like I said, it works.
1323
01:05:43,273 --> 01:05:45,190
It's how he keeps me
on the hook.
1324
01:05:45,191 --> 01:05:48,402
It's just enough
to make me feel like
he still needs me.
1325
01:05:48,403 --> 01:05:50,904
Just enough to keep me
from giving up completely
1326
01:05:50,905 --> 01:05:52,906
and letting go for good.
1327
01:05:52,907 --> 01:05:54,324
And I imagine for Tyler,
1328
01:05:54,325 --> 01:05:56,743
just enough
to ease his own guilt,
1329
01:05:56,744 --> 01:05:58,997
the guilt he feels
for hurting me.
1330
01:06:01,749 --> 01:06:03,001
For hurting us?
1331
01:06:04,169 --> 01:06:05,462
[Jamie] I know it to be genuine.
1332
01:06:06,337 --> 01:06:07,963
I didn't say
it wasn't genuine.
1333
01:06:07,964 --> 01:06:10,257
I just think it's more
complicated than that.
1334
01:06:10,258 --> 01:06:12,134
Do you not find it
more complicated
1335
01:06:12,135 --> 01:06:14,094
when you read his
"Miss you, love you," in a text?
1336
01:06:14,095 --> 01:06:15,471
And when you have
to type it back,
1337
01:06:15,472 --> 01:06:17,264
it doesn't feel
confusing to you,
1338
01:06:17,265 --> 01:06:19,433
after everything that's happened
between the two of you?
1339
01:06:19,434 --> 01:06:20,642
[Jamie] No.
1340
01:06:20,643 --> 01:06:22,311
[Diane] Even after you shared
your feelings
1341
01:06:22,312 --> 01:06:23,812
and he wasn't there yet?
1342
01:06:23,813 --> 01:06:26,106
Even after he was
seemingly there
1343
01:06:26,107 --> 01:06:27,650
and then took it all back?
1344
01:06:29,152 --> 01:06:30,319
No.
1345
01:06:30,320 --> 01:06:31,778
Well, I guess--
[chuckles]
1346
01:06:31,779 --> 01:06:33,947
I guess I'm just speaking
for myself here.
1347
01:06:33,948 --> 01:06:37,284
I just find it hard to imagine
how genuine it can be
1348
01:06:37,285 --> 01:06:39,119
when my son refuses to come,
1349
01:06:39,120 --> 01:06:41,830
and yet texts,
"Miss you, love you, Mom."
1350
01:06:41,831 --> 01:06:43,290
Now, of course,
he's under the assumption
1351
01:06:43,291 --> 01:06:45,375
that the lie
didn't get screwed up.
1352
01:06:45,376 --> 01:06:47,794
As far as Tyler is concerned,
1353
01:06:47,795 --> 01:06:50,506
he thinks I believe he's been
prohibited from coming
1354
01:06:50,507 --> 01:06:52,841
due to circumstances.
1355
01:06:52,842 --> 01:06:55,511
So, for Tyler,
he's comforted by the fact
1356
01:06:55,512 --> 01:06:57,804
that his mom should have
no doubt that he misses her
1357
01:06:57,805 --> 01:07:01,309
and loves her on the day before
she buries her second husband.
1358
01:07:01,976 --> 01:07:04,061
But then, of course,
you made up his mind for him.
1359
01:07:04,062 --> 01:07:06,522
So, yeah, who the fuck knows
what "Miss you, love you,"
means anymore?
1360
01:07:06,523 --> 01:07:08,899
- I-- I didn't make up his mind.
- No, you gave him an out.
1361
01:07:08,900 --> 01:07:11,360
No, he asked my opinion.
He didn't have to take it.
1362
01:07:11,361 --> 01:07:13,738
[Diane] And why was your opinion
for him not to come?
1363
01:07:14,572 --> 01:07:16,198
I didn't tell him not to come.
1364
01:07:16,199 --> 01:07:18,659
[Diane] Yes, you told him that
it wasn't his responsibility--
1365
01:07:18,660 --> 01:07:21,161
No. No, I said
he had a responsibility
1366
01:07:21,162 --> 01:07:23,038
- to himself.
- And I told you
1367
01:07:23,039 --> 01:07:25,082
- he had a responsibility...
- Yes, that he had
a responsibility to you.
1368
01:07:25,083 --> 01:07:26,875
- ...to me.
- Yes, yeah, but okay.
1369
01:07:26,876 --> 01:07:28,627
Diane, are we really
gonna do this?
1370
01:07:28,628 --> 01:07:31,547
Are we really gonna break down
the subtext of a text?
1371
01:07:31,548 --> 01:07:34,341
Yes, because now
I'm ready for my explanation.
1372
01:07:34,342 --> 01:07:36,510
- You're not gonna like it.
- Yeah, I hate it so far.
1373
01:07:36,511 --> 01:07:39,429
I did what I thought was right,
knowing what I know.
1374
01:07:39,430 --> 01:07:41,390
- Knowing what?
- How Tyler feels
1375
01:07:41,391 --> 01:07:43,517
about everything that happened
between the two of you.
1376
01:07:43,518 --> 01:07:44,726
Which is what?
1377
01:07:44,727 --> 01:07:46,395
[sighs]
1378
01:07:46,396 --> 01:07:47,813
[Diane] Oh, but of course.
1379
01:07:47,814 --> 01:07:50,357
Now, we're back to your
airtight cone of silence.
1380
01:07:50,358 --> 01:07:52,192
Fine, I'll lift it from my side.
1381
01:07:52,193 --> 01:07:54,861
I cheated on Tyler's dad
with Henry.
1382
01:07:54,862 --> 01:07:56,989
- I assume that you know?
- Yes.
1383
01:07:56,990 --> 01:07:59,283
And did he also share with you
that his dad and I
1384
01:07:59,284 --> 01:08:01,410
had fallen out of love
long before that,
1385
01:08:01,411 --> 01:08:03,370
and that his dad
had cheated as well?
1386
01:08:03,371 --> 01:08:05,706
- Y-Yes, but--
- But his affair was fleeting
1387
01:08:05,707 --> 01:08:07,375
and I fell in love
with mine, yes?
1388
01:08:08,751 --> 01:08:10,127
- Yes.
- Yes.
1389
01:08:10,128 --> 01:08:11,379
That's my high crime.
1390
01:08:12,130 --> 01:08:14,965
Well, I think for Tyler,
knowing how hurt his dad was,
1391
01:08:14,966 --> 01:08:18,051
and then with Tyler's dad
passing away,
1392
01:08:18,052 --> 01:08:19,886
I think that there is
an allegiance to his father
1393
01:08:19,887 --> 01:08:21,763
that makes it
difficult for Tyler to--
1394
01:08:21,764 --> 01:08:24,766
- Look, Dia-- your son
struggles with how--
- [scoffs] My son struggles.
1395
01:08:24,767 --> 01:08:27,311
- [chair scraping]
- Oh, my God. Lost my appetite.
1396
01:08:27,312 --> 01:08:29,980
- Diane, just let me--
- No, no!
1397
01:08:29,981 --> 01:08:32,274
No, Tyler did have
an allegiance to his dad,
1398
01:08:32,275 --> 01:08:34,943
and still does to this day, apparently.
1399
01:08:34,944 --> 01:08:36,069
[smacks countertop]
1400
01:08:36,070 --> 01:08:37,238
[groaning]
1401
01:08:38,239 --> 01:08:42,242
After his father and I divorced,
despite both cheating,
1402
01:08:42,243 --> 01:08:44,244
despite our anger
and differences,
1403
01:08:44,245 --> 01:08:46,079
the one thing we agreed upon
1404
01:08:46,080 --> 01:08:48,498
was that our priority
was to be Tyler.
1405
01:08:48,499 --> 01:08:50,459
He should know
nothing from us but love,
1406
01:08:50,460 --> 01:08:52,336
and that included
to each other.
1407
01:08:52,337 --> 01:08:53,420
[groaning]
1408
01:08:53,421 --> 01:08:54,421
[bowl clatters]
1409
01:08:54,422 --> 01:08:55,589
I hate that I'm
telling you this!
1410
01:08:55,590 --> 01:08:58,008
- You don't have to tell me.
- Yes, I do!
1411
01:08:58,009 --> 01:08:59,427
[Diane whimpers]
1412
01:09:04,182 --> 01:09:07,225
Around the time Henry
and I moved in together,
1413
01:09:07,226 --> 01:09:09,811
when things were clearly
not fleeting for us,
1414
01:09:09,812 --> 01:09:12,357
Tyler's dad began
to struggle with that.
1415
01:09:13,316 --> 01:09:16,735
One weekend, when Tyler
was at his dad's,
1416
01:09:16,736 --> 01:09:18,946
you want to know what he put
in our son's head?
1417
01:09:20,490 --> 01:09:24,117
"You're on my side.
You're on your dad's side."
1418
01:09:24,118 --> 01:09:26,703
You know what that does
to a nine-year-old
to draw that line?
1419
01:09:26,704 --> 01:09:28,372
To suggest that love
is conditional?
1420
01:09:28,373 --> 01:09:30,290
Because I can tell you
from experience,
1421
01:09:30,291 --> 01:09:32,376
you do not come back from that.
1422
01:09:32,377 --> 01:09:34,294
The damage is done.
1423
01:09:34,295 --> 01:09:36,963
And I only came to know of what
his dad said a few years later
1424
01:09:36,964 --> 01:09:39,341
when Tyler was acting out
and I sent him to his room.
1425
01:09:39,342 --> 01:09:41,385
He used his dad's words
against me.
1426
01:09:41,386 --> 01:09:42,929
"I'm on dad's side."
1427
01:09:43,930 --> 01:09:46,556
But truthfully, I was suspicious
that something had been said
1428
01:09:46,557 --> 01:09:49,351
from the moment my nine-year-old
came home after that weekend,
1429
01:09:49,352 --> 01:09:53,146
because the son who left
was not the son who came back.
1430
01:09:53,147 --> 01:09:56,692
Not the way he looked at me,
the way he hugged me.
1431
01:09:56,693 --> 01:09:58,860
He would bristle at my touch.
1432
01:09:58,861 --> 01:10:02,364
A-And Henry, Henry was a pariah
from that day on.
1433
01:10:02,365 --> 01:10:03,533
[groaning]
1434
01:10:04,492 --> 01:10:06,201
I'm sorry, Diane.
I didn't know.
1435
01:10:06,202 --> 01:10:07,494
And you wouldn't have,
not from me.
1436
01:10:07,495 --> 01:10:10,372
I never told anyone,
until now.
1437
01:10:10,373 --> 01:10:13,083
Not even Henry.
Even after I came to know
1438
01:10:13,084 --> 01:10:15,001
what his dad had said,
I never confronted him.
1439
01:10:15,002 --> 01:10:19,381
Never uttered a negative thing
about him in retaliation.
1440
01:10:19,382 --> 01:10:23,343
Even as Tyler used those words
against me, I stayed calm.
1441
01:10:23,344 --> 01:10:26,513
All I said was,
"Well, I hope you know
1442
01:10:26,514 --> 01:10:28,349
that Henry and I
love you, too."
1443
01:10:30,351 --> 01:10:34,105
Even after Tyler refused to let
me go to his dad's funeral.
1444
01:10:35,356 --> 01:10:38,233
[sobbing] I mean,
this is a man I loved,
1445
01:10:38,234 --> 01:10:39,609
I still love!
1446
01:10:39,610 --> 01:10:41,778
Even then, I respected
my son's feelings,
1447
01:10:41,779 --> 01:10:46,200
and I sat out on that patio,
and I grieved his dad alone.
1448
01:10:47,243 --> 01:10:49,536
From the moment my nine-year-old
came home after that weekend,
1449
01:10:49,537 --> 01:10:51,538
I have shown him
nothing but love,
1450
01:10:51,539 --> 01:10:53,248
because I knew he needed it.
1451
01:10:53,249 --> 01:10:56,209
I knew he wanted it,
and still does to this day.
1452
01:10:56,210 --> 01:10:59,045
It just-- it just comes
with a price.
1453
01:10:59,046 --> 01:11:01,631
But I have never, never stopped
being his mom.
1454
01:11:01,632 --> 01:11:03,925
I've-- I have stayed his mom.
1455
01:11:03,926 --> 01:11:05,761
And-- and against
my better judgment,
1456
01:11:05,762 --> 01:11:07,429
I have kept helping Tyler
1457
01:11:07,430 --> 01:11:09,724
through any doorway
he struggles with.
1458
01:11:11,225 --> 01:11:13,810
Now, as for you,
1459
01:11:13,811 --> 01:11:16,730
just so you're clear
going forward with your life,
1460
01:11:16,731 --> 01:11:19,609
just so you come
to truly understand...
1461
01:11:20,902 --> 01:11:23,780
that is a cone of silence.
1462
01:11:26,991 --> 01:11:30,619
Diane, I'm very sorry
for what you went through,
1463
01:11:30,620 --> 01:11:32,329
and I'm sorry for what
you're going through.
1464
01:11:32,330 --> 01:11:33,914
But again, I didn't know.
1465
01:11:33,915 --> 01:11:37,083
What about what we've come
to know, what we've shared here?
1466
01:11:37,084 --> 01:11:39,127
- Going on that alone,
why not tell Tyler--
- Diane, I--
1467
01:11:39,128 --> 01:11:40,587
You could have
texted him yourself,
1468
01:11:40,588 --> 01:11:42,506
but instead, you chose
to stay angry.
1469
01:11:42,507 --> 01:11:44,674
Yeah, and you chose
to be on his side.
1470
01:11:44,675 --> 01:11:48,094
Oh, my God.
I love that you refuse to listen
1471
01:11:48,095 --> 01:11:50,806
to anything that doesn't allow
you to stay the victim.
1472
01:11:50,807 --> 01:11:52,974
- I'm just trying to understand.
- What you need to do
1473
01:11:52,975 --> 01:11:55,602
is recognize that I have
been here for six days
1474
01:11:55,603 --> 01:11:58,438
helping you, enduring you,
taking dagger after dagger.
1475
01:11:58,439 --> 01:11:59,689
What about the daggers
I've taken?
1476
01:11:59,690 --> 01:12:00,941
Well, I'm not disputing that,
1477
01:12:00,942 --> 01:12:02,275
but I'm not the one
who threw them.
1478
01:12:02,276 --> 01:12:04,027
- Yes, you did!
- No, not the ones
1479
01:12:04,028 --> 01:12:06,279
that hurt you most.
I'm not your son, Diane.
1480
01:12:06,280 --> 01:12:07,697
No. You're worse.
1481
01:12:07,698 --> 01:12:09,616
- You're in love with him.
- Oh, my God.
1482
01:12:09,617 --> 01:12:11,619
- Diane, I told you--
- No. Nope.
1483
01:12:12,537 --> 01:12:14,621
- Fuck your story.
- Wow.
1484
01:12:14,622 --> 01:12:16,289
Wow, fuck my story.
1485
01:12:16,290 --> 01:12:18,792
You are so clearly
still in love with my son.
1486
01:12:18,793 --> 01:12:20,293
- I am not.
- Had I known that,
1487
01:12:20,294 --> 01:12:22,379
I would have relieved you
on day one.
1488
01:12:22,380 --> 01:12:23,505
Well, then, relieve me now.
1489
01:12:23,506 --> 01:12:24,798
- Please.
- And give you the satisfaction
1490
01:12:24,799 --> 01:12:26,508
of just walking away?
Hell, no!
1491
01:12:26,509 --> 01:12:28,301
Yeah, you wouldn't do that.
And you know what, Diane?
1492
01:12:28,302 --> 01:12:30,804
- [scoffs]
- You wouldn't have because
you've enjoyed all of this.
1493
01:12:30,805 --> 01:12:33,014
- Goading me, tormenting me.
- [scoffs] I most certainly
have not.
1494
01:12:33,015 --> 01:12:35,183
Please, you get off
on your power.
1495
01:12:35,184 --> 01:12:37,310
I have a right to get off!
1496
01:12:37,311 --> 01:12:40,021
- And had I known how miserable
this was all gonna be...
- Shit.
1497
01:12:40,022 --> 01:12:42,316
...I never would have offered
to come here in the first place!
1498
01:12:44,694 --> 01:12:45,695
"Offered"?
1499
01:12:46,988 --> 01:12:48,989
- What do you mean, "offered"?
- Okay, wait.
1500
01:12:48,990 --> 01:12:51,658
You had to come,
you had no choice.
1501
01:12:51,659 --> 01:12:54,160
- Yes, but...
- This is your job.
1502
01:12:54,161 --> 01:12:57,163
You have to be here.
You said that many times.
1503
01:12:57,164 --> 01:13:00,166
- Just hold on!
- Adamantly! Did-- did my son
1504
01:13:00,167 --> 01:13:02,085
- even ask you to come?
- Hold on.
1505
01:13:02,086 --> 01:13:04,504
Did Tyler even ask you
1506
01:13:04,505 --> 01:13:06,006
- to come, ever?
- It's complicated!
1507
01:13:06,007 --> 01:13:07,008
[Diane] Unbelievable.
1508
01:13:07,842 --> 01:13:10,176
[Jamie] Okay, okay.
Tyler called.
1509
01:13:10,177 --> 01:13:12,512
He was stuck overseas,
he was distraught,
1510
01:13:12,513 --> 01:13:14,014
- he didn't know
who else to call.
- Mm-hmm.
1511
01:13:14,015 --> 01:13:16,725
He apologized for calling,
admitted it was awkward.
1512
01:13:16,726 --> 01:13:19,019
- Why would it be awkward?
- Because it had been a while
1513
01:13:19,020 --> 01:13:20,687
- since we had spoken, but--
- Wait.
1514
01:13:20,688 --> 01:13:23,858
How long ago did Tyler
break your heart
and you walked away?
1515
01:13:26,944 --> 01:13:29,154
- About two weeks, but--
- Two weeks?!
1516
01:13:29,155 --> 01:13:31,197
- Yes, it was earlier than--
- There is no way
1517
01:13:31,198 --> 01:13:32,949
- you have moved on.
- Yes, I have.
1518
01:13:32,950 --> 01:13:35,452
In fact, this road trip,
this longer trip,
1519
01:13:35,453 --> 01:13:38,622
that's me moving to New York.
I'm not even going back to LA.
1520
01:13:38,623 --> 01:13:41,416
Hold on, hold on.
So, the day you walked away
1521
01:13:41,417 --> 01:13:43,710
to give yourself time,
you actually quit?
1522
01:13:43,711 --> 01:13:45,545
- Yes.
- Then, why not own that
1523
01:13:45,546 --> 01:13:47,047
from the minute
you walked in my door?
1524
01:13:47,048 --> 01:13:48,298
- Why lie to me?
- It was just--
1525
01:13:48,299 --> 01:13:50,258
"This is my job.
I have to be here."
1526
01:13:50,259 --> 01:13:52,802
- It was just easier.
- Yes, I imagine it was,
1527
01:13:52,803 --> 01:13:54,471
so much easier
to portray yourself
1528
01:13:54,472 --> 01:13:56,431
as this self-righteous victim
1529
01:13:56,432 --> 01:13:57,891
- who's had to endure--
- No, I decided
1530
01:13:57,892 --> 01:13:59,559
to put aside everything
1531
01:13:59,560 --> 01:14:01,603
and take the high road, Diane.
1532
01:14:01,604 --> 01:14:03,146
- Oh.
- So that Tyler could see,
1533
01:14:03,147 --> 01:14:05,231
despite all of the hurt
I endured,
1534
01:14:05,232 --> 01:14:07,275
I would still be there for him.
1535
01:14:07,276 --> 01:14:09,069
And that I could move on
with my life
1536
01:14:09,070 --> 01:14:11,614
knowing I was leaving Tyler
behind seeing that about me.
1537
01:14:14,742 --> 01:14:16,326
[scoffs]
1538
01:14:16,327 --> 01:14:18,578
Yes. Yes.
1539
01:14:18,579 --> 01:14:21,998
- Yes. That is why.
- What?
1540
01:14:21,999 --> 01:14:23,833
- You resent him.
- Oh, plea-- No.
1541
01:14:23,834 --> 01:14:25,752
You're not just in love
with my son.
1542
01:14:25,753 --> 01:14:27,212
You resent him.
1543
01:14:27,213 --> 01:14:28,922
- I am taking the high road.
- Which is where you go
1544
01:14:28,923 --> 01:14:31,091
when you want people
to feel like shit.
1545
01:14:31,092 --> 01:14:32,759
Don't tell me
about the high road.
1546
01:14:32,760 --> 01:14:34,928
I wrote the book
on taking the high road.
1547
01:14:34,929 --> 01:14:36,680
You want Tyler to feel guilty.
1548
01:14:36,681 --> 01:14:38,640
- Fine. Yes, I do.
- [scoffs]
1549
01:14:38,641 --> 01:14:41,601
- But that's not why I came.
- It's exactly why you came.
1550
01:14:41,602 --> 01:14:43,520
You want Tyler to miss you.
1551
01:14:43,521 --> 01:14:45,105
You want Tyler to love you.
1552
01:14:45,106 --> 01:14:46,773
- You won't realize--
- I'm moving on with my life--
1553
01:14:46,774 --> 01:14:48,818
Do not lie anymore!
1554
01:14:49,652 --> 01:14:52,612
Especially to someone
who knows exactly what it means
1555
01:14:52,613 --> 01:14:55,115
to love and resent my son.
1556
01:14:55,116 --> 01:14:57,742
And when we love
and resent the same person,
1557
01:14:57,743 --> 01:14:59,829
that's when they control us
the most.
1558
01:15:00,705 --> 01:15:03,999
Jamie, you will always
be everything Tyler needs,
1559
01:15:04,000 --> 01:15:06,459
everything he desires
in a boyfriend.
1560
01:15:06,460 --> 01:15:08,461
But you will never be his type.
1561
01:15:08,462 --> 01:15:11,132
He will never want you
the way you want him to.
1562
01:15:15,511 --> 01:15:18,639
And he will never be the son
that you want him to be.
1563
01:15:20,850 --> 01:15:23,977
You might not call Tyler
a selfish, ungrateful dickhead
1564
01:15:23,978 --> 01:15:25,687
to his face,
but he can feel it.
1565
01:15:25,688 --> 01:15:28,148
He can see it in your face,
he can hear it in your voice.
1566
01:15:28,149 --> 01:15:30,150
He can read it in your texts.
1567
01:15:30,151 --> 01:15:32,235
But yet, you're floored
1568
01:15:32,236 --> 01:15:34,487
that he doesn't want to come
running back to your arms.
1569
01:15:34,488 --> 01:15:37,449
- I am his mother!
- Well, then fight like one!
1570
01:15:37,450 --> 01:15:38,992
Fight for him instead
of tearing me down,
1571
01:15:38,993 --> 01:15:40,201
which is easier, right?
1572
01:15:40,202 --> 01:15:41,911
It's easier to make the pain
about anything--
1573
01:15:41,912 --> 01:15:42,996
anyone but you.
1574
01:15:42,997 --> 01:15:44,999
- Get out!
- Happily, thank you!
1575
01:15:45,958 --> 01:15:49,961
But you know what, Diane?
You are where you are by choice.
1576
01:15:49,962 --> 01:15:53,006
And you made
that choice the second
that nine-year-old came home
1577
01:15:53,007 --> 01:15:55,175
and you chose not to fight.
1578
01:15:55,176 --> 01:15:57,010
And you had
every right to fight.
1579
01:15:57,011 --> 01:15:59,012
You had every right
to march up to his father
1580
01:15:59,013 --> 01:16:00,680
and say, "What the hell
were you thinking?"
1581
01:16:00,681 --> 01:16:03,391
But no.
Instead, you chose resentment.
1582
01:16:03,392 --> 01:16:06,436
And from what I can tell,
you always choose resentment.
1583
01:16:06,437 --> 01:16:09,189
You choose resentment
of-- of-- of New Mexico,
1584
01:16:09,190 --> 01:16:11,357
of-- of-- of Kathy's
shitty succulent,
1585
01:16:11,358 --> 01:16:13,359
of-- of-- of Judith's dead dog,
1586
01:16:13,360 --> 01:16:15,528
of the goddamn owl,
and me!
1587
01:16:15,529 --> 01:16:17,405
- As I should!
- Oh, oh, yes.
1588
01:16:17,406 --> 01:16:20,492
No, I am your holy grail
of resentment.
1589
01:16:20,493 --> 01:16:23,411
And what an easy place
to put all of your anger
and resentment,
1590
01:16:23,412 --> 01:16:25,455
the week you have to bury
your second husband,
1591
01:16:25,456 --> 01:16:27,123
instead of facing the ugly truth
1592
01:16:27,124 --> 01:16:28,875
that you're angry
and resentful of Henry
1593
01:16:28,876 --> 01:16:31,544
- for having to bury him.
- How dare you!
1594
01:16:31,545 --> 01:16:33,339
Don't lie to me, Diane.
1595
01:16:34,048 --> 01:16:36,216
Especially to somebody
who knows what it feels like
1596
01:16:36,217 --> 01:16:39,135
to spend years of your life
watching the only people
1597
01:16:39,136 --> 01:16:40,971
you have left
in the world leave.
1598
01:16:43,432 --> 01:16:46,977
And we do, we resent them
because we need them here.
1599
01:16:48,979 --> 01:16:51,398
Because we don't know
who we are without them.
1600
01:16:52,650 --> 01:16:55,902
[sniffles]
You said it yourself, Diane.
1601
01:16:55,903 --> 01:16:57,779
You hate how you were
with Henry.
1602
01:16:57,780 --> 01:16:59,405
You hated him
for putting you there.
1603
01:16:59,406 --> 01:17:01,658
And yet this whole time,
you had somebody looking at you
1604
01:17:01,659 --> 01:17:03,034
with nothing but love,
begging you
1605
01:17:03,035 --> 01:17:04,787
to get out of a place
you refuse to leave.
1606
01:17:05,579 --> 01:17:08,081
A place that you--
you choose to be consumed
1607
01:17:08,082 --> 01:17:10,250
by the love you're not getting
from a son who left
1608
01:17:10,251 --> 01:17:12,335
rather than grieving
the loss of a man
1609
01:17:12,336 --> 01:17:14,672
who knew everything
about you and stayed.
1610
01:17:27,268 --> 01:17:28,269
[sniffling]
1611
01:17:32,106 --> 01:17:33,149
[sniffling]
1612
01:17:36,026 --> 01:17:39,029
[♪ upbeat dramatic music
playing]
1613
01:17:51,333 --> 01:17:52,793
Here's the sun.
1614
01:17:59,800 --> 01:18:01,135
There's the fucking sky!
1615
01:18:03,304 --> 01:18:06,307
And there's the goddamn owl.
1616
01:18:09,518 --> 01:18:12,812
Bringing back the fucking cat!
1617
01:18:12,813 --> 01:18:13,814
[brush clattering]
1618
01:18:16,525 --> 01:18:18,527
[breathing heavily]
1619
01:18:20,404 --> 01:18:21,864
- I didn't mean to--
- [scoffs]
1620
01:18:22,740 --> 01:18:23,824
Let's be done.
1621
01:18:25,868 --> 01:18:28,871
[♪ gentle music playing]
1622
01:18:31,582 --> 01:18:32,833
[door closes]
1623
01:18:35,586 --> 01:18:37,171
[insects chirring]
1624
01:18:40,174 --> 01:18:43,177
[♪ gentle music
continues playing]
1625
01:19:13,749 --> 01:19:15,959
[Henry] Hey, lady.
Just got out of church.
1626
01:19:15,960 --> 01:19:18,044
What are you doing?
1627
01:19:18,045 --> 01:19:20,588
[Henry chuckles]
I know that annoys you
1628
01:19:20,589 --> 01:19:22,758
- when I ask your
voicemail questions.
- [Diane chuckles]
1629
01:19:23,968 --> 01:19:25,718
I, uh, I just wanted
to let you know
1630
01:19:25,719 --> 01:19:27,595
I'm gonna grab lunch
with a couple of friends,
1631
01:19:27,596 --> 01:19:29,222
and I'll walk home.
1632
01:19:29,223 --> 01:19:31,766
Oh, uh, in case I forget,
1633
01:19:31,767 --> 01:19:33,393
a newer member
of the congregation
1634
01:19:33,394 --> 01:19:35,311
asked me today
how we met.
1635
01:19:35,312 --> 01:19:37,063
And I said,
"Well, we didn't meet.
1636
01:19:37,064 --> 01:19:38,482
Diane discovered me."
1637
01:19:39,483 --> 01:19:41,068
Now, how sweet
of me was that?
1638
01:19:42,486 --> 01:19:44,238
Alright, I love you.
I'll see you soon.
1639
01:19:46,240 --> 01:19:48,491
Oh, uh, uh, one more thing.
1640
01:19:48,492 --> 01:19:50,911
What are you doing?
[Henry chuckles]
1641
01:19:53,956 --> 01:19:56,959
[♪ gentle music
continues playing]
1642
01:20:04,967 --> 01:20:06,969
[birdsong]
1643
01:20:27,031 --> 01:20:30,034
[♪ gentle music
continues playing]
1644
01:21:21,001 --> 01:21:27,048
[choir singing]
♪ Just to take Him
at his word ♪
1645
01:21:27,049 --> 01:21:33,554
♪ Just to rest
upon His promise ♪
1646
01:21:33,555 --> 01:21:40,229
♪ Just to know
thus saith the Lord ♪
1647
01:21:43,065 --> 01:21:47,861
♪ Jesus, Jesus,
how I trust Him ♪
1648
01:21:49,196 --> 01:21:54,326
♪ How I've proved Him
o'er and o'er ♪
1649
01:21:55,077 --> 01:22:00,790
♪ Jesus, Jesus,
precious Jesus ♪
1650
01:22:00,791 --> 01:22:05,628
♪ Oh, the grace
to trust Him ♪
1651
01:22:05,629 --> 01:22:10,133
♪ More ♪
1652
01:22:10,134 --> 01:22:11,718
[softly] Good Lord.
1653
01:22:19,601 --> 01:22:20,811
[sighs]
1654
01:22:30,320 --> 01:22:32,572
I wasn't going to get up here.
1655
01:22:32,573 --> 01:22:34,907
Henry would not expect it.
[chuckles]
1656
01:22:34,908 --> 01:22:37,076
- [scattered chuckles]
- In fact, he's--
1657
01:22:37,077 --> 01:22:39,079
He's probably rolling
his eyes right now.
1658
01:22:40,456 --> 01:22:42,583
But he was clear about...
1659
01:22:44,126 --> 01:22:47,754
what he wanted... from me.
[chuckles]
1660
01:22:52,342 --> 01:22:54,428
And I need to finish that.
1661
01:23:01,268 --> 01:23:03,187
"The first, my last...
1662
01:23:04,771 --> 01:23:05,939
"my everything.
1663
01:23:07,858 --> 01:23:09,943
"And the answer
to all my dreams.
1664
01:23:12,821 --> 01:23:16,283
"You are my sun,
my moon...
1665
01:23:17,284 --> 01:23:18,702
my guiding star."
1666
01:23:22,956 --> 01:23:23,957
Um...
1667
01:23:24,958 --> 01:23:27,169
♪ My... my... ♪
1668
01:23:30,672 --> 01:23:31,673
♪ My ♪
1669
01:23:32,633 --> 01:23:35,969
♪ My, my kind of wonderful ♪
1670
01:23:37,304 --> 01:23:39,848
♪ That's what you are ♪
1671
01:23:42,643 --> 01:23:46,480
♪ I know there's only ♪
1672
01:23:47,356 --> 01:23:48,982
♪ One like you ♪
1673
01:23:52,486 --> 01:23:53,820
♪ There's no way ♪
1674
01:23:54,988 --> 01:23:57,491
[choking up]
♪ They could have made two ♪
1675
01:24:00,911 --> 01:24:02,871
[breathing shakily]
1676
01:24:05,749 --> 01:24:09,545
"Yeah, you're all
I'm living for."
1677
01:24:12,673 --> 01:24:16,593
♪ Your love
I'll keep for evermore ♪
1678
01:24:18,428 --> 01:24:21,347
- ♪ You're the first ♪
- ♪ You're the first ♪
1679
01:24:21,348 --> 01:24:22,933
- ♪ You're the last ♪
- ♪ You're the last ♪
1680
01:24:24,351 --> 01:24:26,436
♪ My everything ♪
1681
01:24:28,855 --> 01:24:30,690
- You should join the choir.
- I can't, it's not really--
1682
01:24:30,691 --> 01:24:32,233
- Oh.
- That was beautiful.
1683
01:24:32,234 --> 01:24:34,235
- I'll see you back at the house.
You have the address?
- Yeah.
1684
01:24:34,236 --> 01:24:35,903
Okay, great.
1685
01:24:35,904 --> 01:24:37,030
Jamie.
1686
01:24:38,782 --> 01:24:41,617
Can you grab Henry for me
and the floral arrangements?
1687
01:24:41,618 --> 01:24:43,953
They'll balk at that.
Traditionally, you're supposed
to donate them
1688
01:24:43,954 --> 01:24:47,040
for Sunday services,
but just tell them God owes me.
1689
01:24:49,418 --> 01:24:51,419
Anyways, I'm bringing
my famous deviled eggs.
1690
01:24:51,420 --> 01:24:52,795
Oh, please don't.
1691
01:24:52,796 --> 01:24:54,088
[guest] It's right over here.
1692
01:24:54,089 --> 01:24:56,091
[people chattering]
1693
01:25:01,096 --> 01:25:04,099
[♪ soft classical music
playing over speakers]
1694
01:25:06,560 --> 01:25:08,894
Have you ever seen
so much joy on a canvas?
1695
01:25:08,895 --> 01:25:11,898
- [sighs] It's something.
- Mm.
1696
01:25:13,066 --> 01:25:16,068
- Oh, what's happening here?
- Oh, that's an owl
1697
01:25:16,069 --> 01:25:18,279
bringing back our cat,
Barnaby, so...
1698
01:25:18,280 --> 01:25:21,241
- Oh. My.
- So, like I said, just joy.
1699
01:25:23,076 --> 01:25:25,411
- It's beautiful.
- Aw.
1700
01:25:25,412 --> 01:25:28,331
It warms my heart
to hear you say that.
1701
01:25:28,332 --> 01:25:30,249
Because Henry
wanted you to have it.
1702
01:25:30,250 --> 01:25:31,751
- No.
- Yes.
1703
01:25:31,752 --> 01:25:33,586
- N-No.
- His time in the choir
1704
01:25:33,587 --> 01:25:35,172
was so precious to him.
1705
01:25:36,089 --> 01:25:38,090
So, maybe for the choir room.
1706
01:25:38,091 --> 01:25:39,800
Ohh.
1707
01:25:39,801 --> 01:25:41,177
- Yeah?
- Hmm.
1708
01:25:41,178 --> 01:25:43,180
It'll be like he's still there
singing with you.
1709
01:25:49,019 --> 01:25:50,020
Hmm.
1710
01:25:51,813 --> 01:25:52,939
[softly] God bless.
1711
01:25:57,110 --> 01:25:58,611
- Travel well.
- Thanks, Diane.
1712
01:25:58,612 --> 01:26:00,280
- Mm-hmm, bye.
- We're here if you
need anything.
1713
01:26:11,291 --> 01:26:13,626
[Jamie] For some reason,
people thought they should bring
1714
01:26:13,627 --> 01:26:15,044
more casseroles.
1715
01:26:15,045 --> 01:26:16,338
[chuckles softly]
I saw that.
1716
01:26:17,631 --> 01:26:20,675
Uh, I washed these
and labeled whose whose.
1717
01:26:20,676 --> 01:26:23,552
And, um, I made a list
of what everybody brought,
1718
01:26:23,553 --> 01:26:25,472
in case you wanna send
thank you notes.
1719
01:26:26,723 --> 01:26:28,849
Yeah, that doesn't have
to be a thing.
1720
01:26:28,850 --> 01:26:29,851
[paper crumpling]
1721
01:26:31,895 --> 01:26:34,772
Well, I should probably
get on the road,
1722
01:26:34,773 --> 01:26:36,316
give you back your space.
1723
01:26:37,818 --> 01:26:39,319
Not much light left, so...
1724
01:26:40,320 --> 01:26:42,655
um, if you get tired, pull over.
1725
01:26:42,656 --> 01:26:43,657
Yes.
1726
01:26:45,534 --> 01:26:46,702
Uh, mm.
1727
01:26:48,328 --> 01:26:51,081
Maybe I'll see you
back in New York?
1728
01:26:52,833 --> 01:26:54,042
Maybe.
1729
01:26:59,256 --> 01:27:00,507
Goodbye, Jamie.
1730
01:27:03,552 --> 01:27:04,886
Goodbye, Diane.
1731
01:27:11,017 --> 01:27:12,018
Hm.
1732
01:27:15,856 --> 01:27:17,690
[sniffling softly]
1733
01:27:17,691 --> 01:27:19,693
[liquid pouring]
1734
01:27:50,432 --> 01:27:52,100
I know what's
on the other side.
1735
01:27:53,643 --> 01:27:55,895
For me, I know
what's on the other side.
1736
01:27:55,896 --> 01:27:58,607
And I know it's better.
1737
01:28:00,108 --> 01:28:01,276
Or it will be better.
1738
01:28:03,987 --> 01:28:05,572
But I stay over here...
1739
01:28:06,948 --> 01:28:08,408
because I wanna fix it.
1740
01:28:10,744 --> 01:28:13,079
'Cause I need to fi--
I need to fix everything.
1741
01:28:15,791 --> 01:28:19,336
Over here, I--
I came out in my 20s.
1742
01:28:21,004 --> 01:28:23,255
And I had my own
revolving door,
1743
01:28:23,256 --> 01:28:25,842
and I fell in love
and out of love...
1744
01:28:26,843 --> 01:28:27,844
many times.
1745
01:28:30,096 --> 01:28:31,263
Over here, my parents knew,
1746
01:28:31,264 --> 01:28:33,975
and they not only knew,
but they...
1747
01:28:35,352 --> 01:28:36,603
loved me for it.
1748
01:28:39,648 --> 01:28:40,941
And over here, Tyler...
1749
01:28:43,860 --> 01:28:45,277
It's not that I think
that he's right.
1750
01:28:45,278 --> 01:28:48,448
It's not that
I think that he's the one.
1751
01:28:53,495 --> 01:28:55,788
[choking up] Just over here,
I didn't waste so much time.
1752
01:28:55,789 --> 01:28:56,790
[chuckles softly]
1753
01:28:59,042 --> 01:29:00,502
I not only found love...
1754
01:29:02,045 --> 01:29:06,132
not only knew what love was,
I knew what to do with it.
1755
01:29:10,345 --> 01:29:11,680
But to go over there...
1756
01:29:14,474 --> 01:29:15,851
to step through...
1757
01:29:20,522 --> 01:29:23,525
Diane, that's to know that
none of that ever happened.
1758
01:29:25,694 --> 01:29:27,571
[sobbing]
It's just me over there.
1759
01:29:29,990 --> 01:29:31,490
I'm not saying that
for sympathy...
1760
01:29:31,491 --> 01:29:34,828
[sniffling] ...and I'm not
saying that to excuse.
1761
01:29:35,996 --> 01:29:36,997
Uh...
1762
01:29:40,500 --> 01:29:42,544
I just don't know
where to put it. [sobbing]
1763
01:29:46,548 --> 01:29:49,009
Jamie, your parents knew.
1764
01:29:50,218 --> 01:29:51,678
We always know.
1765
01:29:52,554 --> 01:29:54,514
And they knew who you were.
1766
01:29:55,515 --> 01:29:59,060
You were their son
who loved them to the end.
1767
01:30:05,609 --> 01:30:07,694
- [sobbing]
- [sighs]
1768
01:30:09,446 --> 01:30:12,449
[♪ gentle music playing]
1769
01:30:16,411 --> 01:30:18,120
[Diane sighs]
1770
01:30:18,121 --> 01:30:19,455
[phone chimes]
1771
01:30:19,456 --> 01:30:21,082
[Jamie exhales]
1772
01:30:25,545 --> 01:30:26,630
[Diane sighs]
1773
01:30:29,049 --> 01:30:30,424
"Checking in."
1774
01:30:30,425 --> 01:30:33,719
- [laughing]
- Sooner than expected.
1775
01:30:33,720 --> 01:30:35,971
Well, his timing
has always been terrible.
1776
01:30:35,972 --> 01:30:37,098
Or perfect.
1777
01:30:40,602 --> 01:30:41,728
Let him wait.
1778
01:30:42,938 --> 01:30:44,230
Until I'm ready.
1779
01:30:51,237 --> 01:30:52,781
You need to move on,
Jamie.
1780
01:30:53,782 --> 01:30:56,075
- [stifled sobbing]
- It's time.
1781
01:30:56,076 --> 01:30:57,077
Yes.
1782
01:31:00,747 --> 01:31:01,748
Yes.
1783
01:31:04,751 --> 01:31:06,919
[Jamie sighs deeply]
1784
01:31:06,920 --> 01:31:08,420
And take that succulent.
1785
01:31:08,421 --> 01:31:10,339
It deserves to be saved.
[chuckles]
1786
01:31:10,340 --> 01:31:11,466
[chuckles softly]
1787
01:31:22,477 --> 01:31:25,105
[♪ "All of You"
by Alex Bloom playing]
1788
01:31:31,695 --> 01:31:36,907
♪ Threads of our memories ♪
1789
01:31:36,908 --> 01:31:42,162
♪ Woven to tapestries ♪
1790
01:31:42,163 --> 01:31:47,292
♪ That flow
in the morning breeze ♪
1791
01:31:47,293 --> 01:31:52,715
♪ A sliver of light
shone through ♪
1792
01:31:52,716 --> 01:31:57,845
♪ The window that frames
our view ♪
1793
01:31:57,846 --> 01:32:03,183
♪ In my hands
aglow the hue ♪
1794
01:32:03,184 --> 01:32:10,149
♪ A bittersweet reverie ♪
1795
01:32:10,150 --> 01:32:16,488
♪ All of you, I'll hold ♪
1796
01:32:16,489 --> 01:32:20,325
♪ Inside of me, we'll grow ♪
1797
01:32:20,326 --> 01:32:27,166
♪ Forever be free ♪
1798
01:32:27,167 --> 01:32:32,171
♪ A great mystery ♪
1799
01:32:32,172 --> 01:32:36,342
♪ Of reality ♪
1800
01:32:44,392 --> 01:32:48,187
♪ The sun has sung ♪
1801
01:32:48,188 --> 01:32:53,859
♪ Its glorious glowing song ♪
1802
01:32:53,860 --> 01:32:58,947
♪ Over that horizon ♪
1803
01:32:58,948 --> 01:33:04,244
♪ Deep in my soul, I know ♪
1804
01:33:04,245 --> 01:33:09,750
♪ Wherever I go, you go ♪
1805
01:33:09,751 --> 01:33:16,298
♪ All of the roads
we roam lead home ♪
1806
01:33:16,299 --> 01:33:22,930
♪ All of you, I'll hold ♪
1807
01:33:22,931 --> 01:33:26,600
♪ Inside of me, we'll grow ♪
1808
01:33:26,601 --> 01:33:33,440
♪ Forever be free ♪
1809
01:33:33,441 --> 01:33:38,070
♪ A great mystery ♪
1810
01:33:38,071 --> 01:33:42,951
♪ Of reality ♪
1811
01:33:50,166 --> 01:33:55,587
♪ My deepest blue ocean ♪
1812
01:33:55,588 --> 01:33:59,883
♪ My world, my truth ♪
1813
01:33:59,884 --> 01:34:05,139
♪ Always the moon
means you ♪
1814
01:34:05,140 --> 01:34:10,519
♪ The flower,
the root, the tree ♪
1815
01:34:10,520 --> 01:34:15,941
♪ The frisson
of swishing leaves ♪
1816
01:34:15,942 --> 01:34:22,531
♪ The stars and space
between the wonder ♪
1817
01:34:22,532 --> 01:34:29,288
♪ All of you, I'll hold ♪
1818
01:34:29,289 --> 01:34:32,708
♪ Inside of me, we'll grow ♪
1819
01:34:32,709 --> 01:34:39,548
♪ Forever be free ♪
1820
01:34:39,549 --> 01:34:44,511
♪ A great mystery ♪
1821
01:34:44,512 --> 01:34:48,683
♪ Of reality ♪