1 00:00:02,036 --> 00:00:03,271 * MTV. * 2 00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:17,285 * * 3 00:00:22,090 --> 00:00:23,657 (alarm ringing) 4 00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:27,461 * * 5 00:00:36,137 --> 00:00:37,671 (exhales) 6 00:00:39,006 --> 00:00:40,674 INFLUENCER (over video): Cred has more electrolytes 7 00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:42,676 than Gatorade or Prime. 8 00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:46,780 And now Cred has a new flavor: Cherry Bubblegum. 9 00:00:57,024 --> 00:00:59,493 Eric, do you really need to bring three bottles 10 00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:01,162 of that drink to school? 11 00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:04,332 Mom, a kid today is defined by their hydration drink. 12 00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:07,735 I have to have more Cred than anyone else. 13 00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:09,403 * * 14 00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:11,239 * I got Cred, bitches * 15 00:01:11,339 --> 00:01:12,906 * I got Cred * 16 00:01:13,006 --> 00:01:14,742 * I got Cred, bitches * 17 00:01:14,842 --> 00:01:16,610 * I got Cred * 18 00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:18,412 * I got Kiwi Lime * 19 00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:19,813 * I got Gooble Grape * 20 00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,782 * You got no Cred, bitches * 21 00:01:21,882 --> 00:01:23,617 * But I got mine * 22 00:01:27,955 --> 00:01:30,591 * We got Cred, bitches, we got Cred * 23 00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:32,493 * Our teeth are blue, bitches * 24 00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:34,628 * Our tongues are red... * 25 00:01:34,728 --> 00:01:35,929 CARTMAN: Yeah, but it's, like, seriously, 26 00:01:36,029 --> 00:01:37,565 look at how it's suddenly everybody now. 27 00:01:37,665 --> 00:01:39,167 Like that Spencer Hollis kid. 28 00:01:39,267 --> 00:01:40,601 He never even cared about Cred, 29 00:01:40,701 --> 00:01:42,035 he just drinks it 'cause some stupid influencer 30 00:01:42,136 --> 00:01:43,371 said it's cool now. 31 00:01:43,471 --> 00:01:45,473 Hey, hey, Clyde, where's your Cred? 32 00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:50,010 Oh, um, it's in my... I-I already drank it. 33 00:01:51,345 --> 00:01:52,946 See? That's what I'm talking about. 34 00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:55,316 Clyde likes Cred so much that he drank all his before noon. 35 00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:56,584 That's a real Cred drinker. 36 00:01:56,684 --> 00:01:59,086 Unlike all the poser Cred drinkers 37 00:01:59,187 --> 00:02:00,688 like Spencer Hollis! 38 00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:02,022 Fuck you. 39 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:04,758 Fuck you, Spencer, you're a fucking poser! 40 00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:07,161 STRONG WOMAN: It's literally everywhere now. 41 00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:09,797 These crazy hydration drinks that say they're healthy, 42 00:02:09,897 --> 00:02:12,900 but are loaded with fake sugars and not safe for children. 43 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:16,204 Why now? Why are kids suddenly so into these things? 44 00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:17,738 Online influencers. 45 00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:19,840 They promote this stuff to kids to make money. 46 00:02:19,940 --> 00:02:22,142 I don't know what kind of scumbags would push adult things 47 00:02:22,243 --> 00:02:25,145 -on something they know kids will watch. -(pounding on door) 48 00:02:25,246 --> 00:02:28,382 You guys, we have a big problem. 49 00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,318 -What is it? -It's about the South Park 50 00:02:30,418 --> 00:02:32,186 elementary art teacher. 51 00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:33,687 Mrs. Streibel? What about her? 52 00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:36,890 We just found out that she's been... 53 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:40,361 doing pornographic videos on OnlyFans. 54 00:02:40,461 --> 00:02:42,430 -Oh, no. -Oh, yes. 55 00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:45,165 There's gonna be a big meeting tonight, 56 00:02:45,266 --> 00:02:48,101 and everybody's gonna see it. 57 00:02:48,202 --> 00:02:50,438 * * 58 00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:06,019 * * 59 00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:29,677 (indistinct shouting) 60 00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:31,912 Everyone, let's try to be civil here. 61 00:03:32,012 --> 00:03:34,282 Be civil? How are we supposed to go home 62 00:03:34,382 --> 00:03:37,084 and explain to our children that their art teacher is a slut? 63 00:03:37,184 --> 00:03:38,252 (agreeing chatter) 64 00:03:38,352 --> 00:03:40,321 She is not a slut. 65 00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:43,724 Mrs. Streibel is a woman engaging in a legal activity 66 00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:47,027 on a website that is for adults only. 67 00:03:47,127 --> 00:03:48,396 (angry shouting) 68 00:03:48,496 --> 00:03:50,097 Of course kids are gonna see it. 69 00:03:50,197 --> 00:03:52,433 -They see everything on the Internet. -(agreeing chatter) 70 00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:55,969 Well, the problem is you guys buy your kids phones, okay? 71 00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:59,407 Just like you buy them all these unhealthy hydration drinks. 72 00:03:59,507 --> 00:04:01,141 Oh, don't turn this around on us. 73 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,110 We can't control what our kids drink 74 00:04:03,210 --> 00:04:04,278 or what they watch. 75 00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:05,946 They're your kids. 76 00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:08,081 Many teachers are struggling to get by 77 00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:10,418 and need ways to supplement their income. 78 00:04:10,518 --> 00:04:13,321 Mrs. Streibel makes close to minimum wage as a teacher, 79 00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:17,525 but on OnlyFans, she makes an extra $10,000 a week. 80 00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:20,961 (indistinct shouting) 81 00:04:21,061 --> 00:04:22,796 It doesn't matter how much she made, 82 00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:25,333 we're talking about someone who influences our children. 83 00:04:25,433 --> 00:04:27,535 Did she say $10,000 a week? 84 00:04:27,635 --> 00:04:29,537 Listen, we have suspended 85 00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:31,939 Mrs. Streibel indefinitely, okay? 86 00:04:32,039 --> 00:04:33,807 But over the next few days, 87 00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:35,776 you should probably talk to your kids 88 00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:40,548 about what they might have seen, m'kay. 89 00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:56,229 Uh, hey, Clyde, w-why don't you come over here and have a seat? 90 00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:57,765 What? 91 00:04:57,865 --> 00:05:00,601 Uh, have a seat, pal. We need to talk to you. 92 00:05:02,002 --> 00:05:03,236 Clyde... 93 00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:05,406 we're understanding that some tough things 94 00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:07,341 have been going on at school. 95 00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:09,910 Yes. Yes, they have. 96 00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:12,245 All right, well, we know that some of the stuff 97 00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:15,583 you're dealing with might be kind of disturbing. 98 00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:17,818 Yes, it's totally disturbing, yes. 99 00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:21,455 All right, Clyde, well, we want to try and help you. 100 00:05:21,555 --> 00:05:22,656 Really? You do? 101 00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:24,492 Oh, thank God. Finally. 102 00:05:24,592 --> 00:05:26,827 Yeah, pal, let-let me explain to you 103 00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:29,363 what "double penetration" is. 104 00:05:30,364 --> 00:05:31,699 Double penetration? 105 00:05:31,799 --> 00:05:33,867 See, in your art teacher's OnlyFans page, 106 00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:37,505 her and two men, who love each other very much, 107 00:05:37,605 --> 00:05:39,973 wanted to express that love... 108 00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:41,875 Dad, nobody cares about double penetration. 109 00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:44,144 My life at school is awful because you don't let me drink 110 00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:46,480 hydrating sports drinks like all the other kids. 111 00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:48,382 Clyde, we've told you, those things are filled 112 00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:49,817 with additives and fake sugar, 113 00:05:49,917 --> 00:05:51,585 and they're not good for children. 114 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:52,853 You're not even my real mom, Janice, 115 00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:54,588 so why don't you shut the fuck up? 116 00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:56,189 Clyde, that's enough. 117 00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:58,091 Every other kid at school is allowed to have it. 118 00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,860 They all have Cred, but I have zero Cred 119 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,395 because my dad and his stupid girlfriend 120 00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:02,796 think it's bad for me. 121 00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:05,065 Why do you want to be like all the other kids? 122 00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:07,100 Shut up, Janice, you're not my mom! 123 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,969 All right, Clyde, we're trying to have a nice talk with you 124 00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:10,237 about double penetration, 125 00:06:10,337 --> 00:06:12,105 and you can just go to your room now. 126 00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:13,407 Fine! 127 00:06:14,241 --> 00:06:15,909 Thanks a lot for making sure your son 128 00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:19,246 is the only kid in school without any Cred! 129 00:06:25,553 --> 00:06:28,989 INFLUENCER (over video): It's like nobody understands me, you know? 130 00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:31,124 Like, all these stupid boomers and people over 40 131 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,661 don't know how hard it is for young people. 132 00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:35,496 -Yeah. -Like, yo, if you guys 133 00:06:35,596 --> 00:06:37,565 feel the same way, just leave a comment down below 134 00:06:37,665 --> 00:06:39,366 and smash that like button. 135 00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:43,837 You know, the most important thing is just to be yourself. 136 00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:45,839 And when I feel like I can't be myself, 137 00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:48,709 that's when I need a hydration drink that'll pick me up. 138 00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:51,545 -That's when I need Cred. -(groans) 139 00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:54,247 INFLUENCER: It's the coolest sports drink in the world. 140 00:06:54,347 --> 00:06:56,316 Cred is 100% sugar-free. 141 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:59,086 Cred has electrolytes so you can ride your bike. 142 00:06:59,186 --> 00:07:00,721 And also, Cred has more vitamin A 143 00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:03,023 than your body could possibly ever use. 144 00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:04,958 I can't feel my face. 145 00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:07,227 Drink Cred or you're a piece of shit. 146 00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:08,562 (whoops) 147 00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:10,798 NARRATOR: Drink Cred at your school today. 148 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:15,903 Hey, guys, I know there's a lot of influencers out there 149 00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:17,571 trying to get your attention. 150 00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:20,040 And I just hope that you'll maybe take a moment 151 00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:24,411 to check out what I have to say here on My OnlyFans page. 152 00:07:24,512 --> 00:07:27,815 I hope you're all doing great, and if you're watching this PPV, 153 00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:29,750 I hope you'll consider subscribing. 154 00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:31,251 If you want me to give a shout-out 155 00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:33,120 for your social media, I can do that. 156 00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:34,855 And if you want a custom, just let me know 157 00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,356 if there's anything special you want to see. 158 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,759 -What the fuck are you doing? -Oh! Hey, Sharon, 159 00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:40,460 just supplementing my income. 160 00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:42,129 Are you serious right now? 161 00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:44,998 All right, all right, Sharon, yes, 162 00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:47,100 I am an OnlyFans model. 163 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,802 And I'm not ashamed of it. 164 00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:50,504 Goddamn it, Randy. 165 00:07:50,604 --> 00:07:53,907 What is with all the stigma Americans have anyway, huh? 166 00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:56,476 It's just my penis, Sharon. It's not a big deal. 167 00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:59,479 No, it's definitely not a big deal. 168 00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:01,048 Okay, good. Thank you. 169 00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:02,883 All I'm doing is taking back control 170 00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:04,985 of my sexuality on a platform 171 00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:06,920 that I can benefit from financially. 172 00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:08,622 So you're just gonna sit here and jack off 173 00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:11,625 for four hours a week just to make a few extra dollars? 174 00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:13,827 I jack off two hours a week anyways. 175 00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:15,529 Now I just do it a little bit more 176 00:08:15,629 --> 00:08:18,265 and make enough money to pay for the increase in gas prices. 177 00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:20,568 If your children find out about this, 178 00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:22,936 they are going to leave home. 179 00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:26,640 Children aren't allowed on OnlyFans, Sharon. 180 00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:28,508 It's totally safe. 181 00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:31,011 Kids aren't gonna see this. 182 00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:34,915 (school bell ringing) 183 00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:38,786 (indistinct chatter) 184 00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:42,956 Hey, Butters, Tweek, you guys got a second? 185 00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:44,825 -For what? -Okay, you know how, like, 186 00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:46,159 some kids in this school really like Cred 187 00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:47,561 and others just pretend to, 188 00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:49,329 but really they're posers like Spencer Hollis? 189 00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:51,965 Well, I think we should start a Cred affinity group. 190 00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:53,400 What's an affinity group? 191 00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,268 It's where you, like, divide people into groups 192 00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:57,437 and single them out in order to make other people feel bad. 193 00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,439 See, it's like we're the legit Cred drinkers, 194 00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:00,808 and we should just let the very coolest kids 195 00:09:00,908 --> 00:09:01,975 into our affinity group. 196 00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:03,376 Oh, hey, Clyde. 197 00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:05,178 -Where's your Cred? -Oh, it's just, uh... 198 00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:08,115 -it's, uh, in my backpack again. -Oh, that's cool. 199 00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:09,950 You guys think we should let Clyde into our affinity group? 200 00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,551 Yeah, I like Clyde. 201 00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:13,787 Oh, hey, Stan. Do you want to be in our affinity group? 202 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:16,223 -What's an affinity group? -It's like where people separate 203 00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:17,891 into little clubs by, like, skin color or religious beliefs 204 00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:19,660 and talk about how much better they are than everyone else. 205 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,328 Usually, white people can't be in an affinity group, 206 00:09:21,428 --> 00:09:22,863 but it's for a drink, so they have to let us. 207 00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:24,632 That's not what an affinity group is. 208 00:09:24,732 --> 00:09:27,000 Uh, yeah, well, no one's inviting you, Kyle. 209 00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:28,902 'Cause it looks like you don't even have any Cred. 210 00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:30,771 Yeah, I do, it's in my backpack. 211 00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:33,006 Oh, sure, it's in his backpack, guys. 212 00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:34,642 Yeah, let's see it, then. 213 00:09:34,742 --> 00:09:37,678 It's right here. We drink way more Cred than you guys do. 214 00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:40,180 Oh, yeah, right. Tweek drinks four bottles of Cred 215 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,683 -for breakfast. -(grunting) 216 00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:44,517 (school bell rings) 217 00:09:44,618 --> 00:09:46,086 I don't want to be a part of any affinity group. 218 00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:47,554 It just sounds like trouble. 219 00:09:47,655 --> 00:09:48,989 Yeah, well, we don't want you. 220 00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,523 'Cause you just pretend to like Cred 221 00:09:50,624 --> 00:09:51,959 'cause it's a fad right now 222 00:09:52,059 --> 00:09:53,560 like all the other lame-o's in this school. 223 00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:55,228 Hey, guys. 224 00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:57,831 Hey, Clyde, you got a sec? 225 00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:00,300 -For what? -I was just gonna talk to you about your backpack. 226 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,335 -W-What about my backpack? -Well, it's just... 227 00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,104 You know, it's really best to have a backpack 228 00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:05,939 that's got a water bottle pouch to put your Cred in. 229 00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:07,340 See, like, see how y-you can see, like, 230 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,142 you can see my Cred bottle from the outside? 231 00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:10,377 You just go like this, and everyone-everyone 232 00:10:10,477 --> 00:10:11,845 can see your Cred? You're just like, 233 00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,080 "Oh, hey, what's going on? 234 00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:14,014 "Oh, yeah, sweet, check out my Cred. 235 00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,849 It's, like, right here." 236 00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,785 Um, well, I-I don't think 237 00:10:17,885 --> 00:10:19,419 I can get a new backpack till my birthday. 238 00:10:19,519 --> 00:10:21,288 Well, maybe just, like, use some tape or something 239 00:10:21,388 --> 00:10:22,756 to make your own bottle pouch? 240 00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:24,024 You know, we definitely don't want you to look 241 00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,492 like you don't have any Cred. 242 00:10:25,592 --> 00:10:26,994 (chuckles) All right, see you in class, brah. 243 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:31,364 * * 244 00:10:40,908 --> 00:10:42,976 RANDY: Hey, Sharon. Can we talk? 245 00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:44,377 * * 246 00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,346 I feel like there's a lot bad things going on 247 00:10:46,446 --> 00:10:49,549 in the world, and it gets so confusing sometimes, you know? 248 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:53,520 I think, as Americans, we watch news about things happening 249 00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:56,523 in the Middle East and we just don't want to get involved. 250 00:10:56,623 --> 00:10:58,658 And I know it can feel like "What can I do? 251 00:10:58,759 --> 00:11:01,528 I'm not special, how could I ever make a difference?" 252 00:11:01,628 --> 00:11:04,932 But we can't let ourselves think like that. 253 00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:07,100 Sometimes what it takes 254 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,703 is just one person to start a movement. 255 00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:13,573 One person, and then everyone else might follow. 256 00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:22,349 I am not subscribing to your OnlyFans page, Randy. 257 00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:25,418 Okay, well, you're a cunt. 258 00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:30,657 (indistinct chatter) 259 00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:34,161 Yeah, that looks good. 260 00:11:34,261 --> 00:11:36,596 Maybe a little higher on your side, Butters. 261 00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:38,799 Yeah, that's great. I think everyone can see that now. 262 00:11:38,899 --> 00:11:41,401 That should definitely make people feel unwelcome. 263 00:11:42,169 --> 00:11:44,404 * * 264 00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,488 (playful chattering) 265 00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:13,967 Hey. 266 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:15,836 Hey... 267 00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:17,604 What's goin' on? 268 00:12:17,704 --> 00:12:21,441 So... are you, like, selling Cred? 269 00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:24,011 What? Selling hydration drinks on school grounds 270 00:12:24,111 --> 00:12:25,678 is against the rules. 271 00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:27,247 Come here, come here. 272 00:12:28,015 --> 00:12:30,550 What the-- Hey, what are you-- What the hell are you doing? 273 00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:33,854 (quietly): If you're wearing a wire, I will kick your ass. 274 00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:36,456 Bro, I'm not wearing a wire! Do you have Cred or not? 275 00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:39,392 Sure, I got Cred. What are ya looking for? 276 00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:42,162 A little... Watermelon Strawberry? 277 00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,330 No, no, do you have any ones 278 00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:44,932 that don't taste like total ass? 279 00:12:45,032 --> 00:12:46,299 Oh, you want the good shit. 280 00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:48,568 I got your Bubblegum Grape right here. 281 00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:49,903 Okay, how much? 282 00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:51,138 Eighty bucks. 283 00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:53,473 $80? For a shitty fake-sugar drink? 284 00:12:53,573 --> 00:12:54,842 What do you think I'm runnin' here, 285 00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:56,609 a fucking charity for the homeless? 286 00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:58,946 How about some Oatmeal Nummy Nums? 287 00:12:59,046 --> 00:13:00,814 I can get you into that for $65. 288 00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:04,784 I don't have $65. What can I get for three bucks? 289 00:13:04,885 --> 00:13:06,553 Three bucks? Oh, sure. 290 00:13:06,653 --> 00:13:08,688 For that, you can get an empty Cred bottle. 291 00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:11,258 -What good is that gonna do me? -It's easy. 292 00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:13,393 You just fill your empty bottle with water, 293 00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:15,095 add a little food coloring. 294 00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:19,299 Everyone thinks you got Cred when you actually have no Cred. 295 00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:22,469 I'm not giving you three dollars for just plastic garbage! 296 00:13:22,569 --> 00:13:23,904 Cool thing, man. 297 00:13:24,004 --> 00:13:26,739 You just go back into the school without any Cred at all. 298 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,641 See how long you last. 299 00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:31,411 Here! 300 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:34,982 RANDY: Hey, guys, it's your boy Randy, 301 00:13:35,082 --> 00:13:37,885 and in this video we're doing authentic pad Thai 302 00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:39,652 for under $6. 303 00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:41,821 Now we're gonna start with some medium shrimp 304 00:13:41,922 --> 00:13:43,390 and some rice noodles. 305 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:45,458 For the wet ingredients, we're looking at a couple eggs, 306 00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:47,094 some fish and also soy sauce. 307 00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:49,196 And then for garnish, we're gonna do a little cilantro, 308 00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:50,730 green onion, and then of course, 309 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:53,800 we're gonna top that all off with some fresh nuts. 310 00:13:53,901 --> 00:13:56,203 Those nuts are gonna give it that extra bite. 311 00:13:56,303 --> 00:13:57,470 Now, if you like what you're seeing 312 00:13:57,570 --> 00:13:59,439 be sure to smash that subscribe button. 313 00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:02,876 -And-- -Get your balls off the table! 314 00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:05,812 Oh, oh, great Sharon you just ruined the shot! 315 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:09,049 The guys at the deli wanted me to say hi, Randy. 316 00:14:09,149 --> 00:14:11,251 They all saw you on OnlyFans. 317 00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,053 Really? Are they gonna subscribe? 318 00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:14,787 No, they're not going to subscribe. 319 00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:16,957 Nobody's going to subscribe, Randy. 320 00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:18,892 Will you fucking stop? 321 00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:20,560 This stuff takes time! 322 00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:22,729 You don't just put up a page and immediately get followers. 323 00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:24,998 You have to support it with other social media, 324 00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:26,433 have a craft to teach... 325 00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,735 Being an influencer takes time, Sharon! 326 00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:30,971 Oh, so now you're an influencer? 327 00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:32,906 Yes! I'm an influencer. 328 00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:35,742 Maybe you should see how it feels, Randy. 329 00:14:35,842 --> 00:14:39,479 Maybe I should go and do my own OnlyFans. 330 00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:41,648 (chuckling): What? What? 331 00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:44,017 Yeah, like people are gonna pay to see your OnlyFans. 332 00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:46,086 I'll make more than you do! 333 00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:48,388 Sharon, being an influencer is work. 334 00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:50,357 You got to pay for the lighting, for the sound, 335 00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:51,824 you got to be good at editing! 336 00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:53,160 Okay. Cool, Randy. 337 00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:54,794 I'm gonna go start an OnlyFans channel. 338 00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:58,365 Ok-okay. Okay, you go do that, Sharon! 339 00:14:58,465 --> 00:15:01,201 I'm gonna fuckin' do it! 340 00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:04,204 Okay, yeah, go supplement our income, Shar... 341 00:15:04,304 --> 00:15:06,539 (chuckles weakly) 342 00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:07,774 Sharon? 343 00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:14,381 * * 344 00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:33,733 You got this day, bro! 345 00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:37,370 You're strong and I'm gonna keep on making videos for you. 346 00:15:45,312 --> 00:15:47,080 * I've got Cred, bitches * 347 00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:48,381 * I've got Cred * 348 00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:50,483 * I've got Cred, bitches * 349 00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:52,485 * I've got Cred. * 350 00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:57,390 Hey, guys, we're having a Cred affinity group meeting 351 00:15:57,490 --> 00:15:58,925 today at 4:00. Nobody's allowed but us, okay? 352 00:15:59,026 --> 00:16:00,393 Hey, Jordan. 353 00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:01,694 We're having a meeting today. You can't come. 354 00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:02,962 Affinity group meeting today, Sally. 355 00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:04,297 You're not invited. 356 00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:05,565 Well, I think that's just about everyone. 357 00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:06,833 Tweek, did you tell Spencer Hollis 358 00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:08,368 he's not allowed in the affinity group? 359 00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:09,902 Yeah. You told me to call him last night. 360 00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:11,204 He didn't seem to care. 361 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,506 -Yeah, he cares. -Oh, there's Clyde! 362 00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:17,344 Hey, Clyde. Look at you with your nice new backpack. 363 00:16:17,444 --> 00:16:19,112 Oh, uh, yeah. You guys like it? 364 00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:20,280 Yeah, it's really cool. 365 00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:21,714 You can see your Cred now. 366 00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,416 Yeah, it's really nice the way your Cred is-- 367 00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:26,586 Oh, my God! Clyde! You got Moonrise Mellow? 368 00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:28,688 How the hell did you get a bottle of Moonrise Mellow? 369 00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:31,524 Oh, it was just, uh, what my parents gave me today. 370 00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:33,026 You guys, Moonrise Mellow is, like, 371 00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:34,527 the hardest flavor to get ever. 372 00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:37,464 -Whoa, lucky. -Yeah, hey, I'm not sharing. 373 00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:40,233 -Hey, Stan. Hey, Stan. -No, no, dude, wait. 374 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,802 Check out what Clyde has. Moonrise Mellow. 375 00:16:42,902 --> 00:16:43,836 That's impossible. 376 00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:45,572 (laughs) Look at their faces. 377 00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:47,207 They're so jealous. 378 00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:48,575 No, it's really impossible. 379 00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:50,310 Moonrise Mellow was discontinued months ago. 380 00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:53,080 Guess you wish now that you were in the Cred affinity group. 381 00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:55,882 We told you guys we have better Cred than anyone at school. 382 00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:57,250 It's probably fake. 383 00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:59,152 Oh! Oh, you think it's fake, huh? 384 00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:01,088 You want to fucking taste it? 385 00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:02,889 (sputters) What the fuck? 386 00:17:02,989 --> 00:17:04,924 This is fucking apple juice. Gross! 387 00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:07,927 -Let's see. -Hey, give it back. 388 00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,130 Yeah, it's apple juice. You guys are posers. 389 00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:11,598 We're not posers! 390 00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:14,401 Hey, guys. Cred affinity group uses fake Cred. 391 00:17:17,437 --> 00:17:18,638 What the fuck? 392 00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:20,073 What the fuck have you done, Clyde? 393 00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:21,241 I'm sorry, okay? 394 00:17:21,341 --> 00:17:22,575 Oh, he's sorry. 395 00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:24,277 He faked having Cred, but he's sorry! 396 00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:27,447 All right, look, my parents won't let me drink Cred, okay? 397 00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:29,416 They think it's bad for me. 398 00:17:29,516 --> 00:17:31,751 So you never had Cred? 399 00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:32,852 No. 400 00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:34,154 Oh, my God! 401 00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:36,423 We all said you had Cred in your backpack, Clyde. 402 00:17:36,523 --> 00:17:37,757 We fucking backed you! 403 00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:39,892 What the hell are we gonna do? 404 00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:41,161 Why do you guys care? 405 00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:42,495 I'm the one who doesn't have any Cred! 406 00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:43,930 That's not how it works, man! 407 00:17:44,030 --> 00:17:45,632 If you don't have Cred, then everyone around you 408 00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,267 loses all their Cred. 409 00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:49,869 We're dead. We're fuckin' dead. 410 00:17:49,969 --> 00:17:51,471 Word is gonna spread through the school 411 00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:52,839 that our affinity group has no Cred 412 00:17:52,939 --> 00:17:54,641 and then we're gonna-- (gags) 413 00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:57,810 (retching) 414 00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:01,381 How could you do this to us, Clyde? 415 00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:03,350 I'm sorry. It was all the pressure. 416 00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:05,118 (Cartman retching) 417 00:18:05,218 --> 00:18:07,487 I never even wanted to be in an affinity group. 418 00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,021 Now I'm doomed! 419 00:18:09,122 --> 00:18:11,090 (retching) 420 00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:14,527 SHARON (moaning): Ooh... oh. Oh, yeah. 421 00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:16,863 -You like that, guys? -Oh, my God. 422 00:18:16,963 --> 00:18:19,732 -Oh... Oh, God. -Oh, my God. She did it. 423 00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:22,402 -Mm... Oh, yeah. -She actually did it. 424 00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:25,071 -She actually got more subscribers than me. -Ooh, yeah, guys. 425 00:18:25,172 --> 00:18:26,839 Oh, yeah. 426 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:28,675 Just let me know if there's anything special 427 00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:30,343 you'd like to see, guys. 428 00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:32,712 -3,100 subscribers. -Ooh... 429 00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:34,481 -Oh, oh, yeah... -How is that possible? 430 00:18:34,581 --> 00:18:36,283 I mean, look at that, the lighting sucks. 431 00:18:36,383 --> 00:18:37,684 The sound keeps clipping 432 00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:39,786 like she got a microphone at Walmart or something. 433 00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:42,655 And who's that guy? He's blocking half the shot. 434 00:18:42,755 --> 00:18:45,258 -Oh, oh, ooh... -This is total amateur hour! 435 00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:47,527 Thanks for calling OnlyFans customer support. 436 00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:48,795 How can I help you? 437 00:18:48,895 --> 00:18:50,997 Yeah, I just found out that my wife has 438 00:18:51,097 --> 00:18:52,365 an OnlyFans page, 439 00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:54,734 and in one day she has more subscribers than me. 440 00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:57,270 I'm starting to think this whole thing is rigged. 441 00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:58,838 Well, it is slightly easier 442 00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:01,708 for our female content creators to find an audience. 443 00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:04,544 Look, my wife can't become a bigger influencer than me. 444 00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:05,745 I'll never hear the end of it. 445 00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:07,480 Well, sir, have you been trying 446 00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:09,649 the pointers we discussed to reach a larger audience? 447 00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:11,318 Yes! I added a skill. 448 00:19:11,418 --> 00:19:14,721 I'm advertising my OnlyFans page with TikTok and Instagram. 449 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:17,257 What about optimizing your algorithm? 450 00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:19,592 Oh, um, how do I do that? 451 00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:21,060 No, no, no. Not with your penis. 452 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,029 See, what a lot of influencers will do is 453 00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:25,565 they talk about things and show things in their videos 454 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:26,733 that are trending. 455 00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:28,435 Then you can hashtag that, 456 00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:30,770 and the search engines will think your content is trending. 457 00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:34,941 So I... add stuff to my videos that's popular, 458 00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:37,009 and people will accidentally go to my page 459 00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:38,845 trying to search for that popular thing. 460 00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:39,979 Exactly. 461 00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:41,381 That's perfect! 462 00:19:41,481 --> 00:19:45,084 But what's trending most on the Internet right now? 463 00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:52,759 Oh, hey there, Clyde. How was school? 464 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:55,628 You want to know how school was? 465 00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:57,196 It fucking sucked! 466 00:19:57,297 --> 00:19:59,766 All I wanted was to have a little bit of Cred at school, 467 00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:02,302 but now I've destroyed it and everyone hates me! 468 00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:05,772 Oh, Clyde, we're always trying to do what's best for you. 469 00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:07,807 And you shut the fuck up, Janice! 470 00:20:07,907 --> 00:20:10,810 -You are not my mom. -Clyde! 471 00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:15,014 INFLUENCER: I seriously can't stand how stupid people are sometimes. 472 00:20:15,114 --> 00:20:17,717 That's why I do all my pranks and stuff. 473 00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,753 Sometimes it's impossible to stay positive 474 00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:22,188 when everyone sucks so hard. 475 00:20:22,289 --> 00:20:23,890 If you like what I'm saying in this video, 476 00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:26,058 smash that like button down below. 477 00:20:26,959 --> 00:20:28,395 You know, the thing is, 478 00:20:28,495 --> 00:20:29,929 when you really feel the most down, 479 00:20:30,029 --> 00:20:32,332 that's when you got to fight the hardest, you know? 480 00:20:33,132 --> 00:20:35,935 I'm gonna give you 10 tips to being tougher. 481 00:20:36,035 --> 00:20:38,438 But first I want to give a shout-out to our sponsor 482 00:20:38,538 --> 00:20:40,172 Cred hydration drinks! 483 00:20:40,273 --> 00:20:41,641 (exasperated sigh) 484 00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,242 Cred gives you all the energy you need! 485 00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:45,978 And now Cred has an all-new exclusive flavor. 486 00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:48,515 Introducing new Mega Cred. 487 00:20:48,615 --> 00:20:49,882 It's a super limited edition 488 00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:52,251 only available to a select few. 489 00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:54,454 And Cred's doing a big giveaway 490 00:20:54,554 --> 00:20:57,890 and maybe these super limited edition bottles can be yours. 491 00:20:57,990 --> 00:20:59,992 * * 492 00:21:02,529 --> 00:21:03,830 So I looked it up, 493 00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:05,231 and there's this drink called Cred 494 00:21:05,332 --> 00:21:07,600 that's the most searched thing on the internet. 495 00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:09,101 I figured if I can get my hands 496 00:21:09,201 --> 00:21:10,970 on some of the more hard to get bottles 497 00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:13,873 and put them in my videos, maybe I'll get more traffic. 498 00:21:13,973 --> 00:21:16,643 Everyone says maybe you can help me. 499 00:21:18,311 --> 00:21:21,147 Cred? What's Cred? Never heard of it. 500 00:21:22,181 --> 00:21:24,050 Okay, look, I'm not wearing a wire. 501 00:21:24,150 --> 00:21:25,618 You want to see? 502 00:21:25,718 --> 00:21:28,321 No, no, I don't want to see! What the hell is wrong with you? 503 00:21:28,421 --> 00:21:30,390 I'm looking for a lot of Cred. 504 00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:31,824 Maybe I can even get them 505 00:21:31,924 --> 00:21:33,726 to eventually sponsor my adult web channel. 506 00:21:33,826 --> 00:21:35,027 Oh, okay. Then you'll want 507 00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:36,696 some of the harder stuff that's marketed 508 00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:37,997 for adults only. 509 00:21:38,097 --> 00:21:40,266 Like maybe... Peppa Pig Peppermint. 510 00:21:40,367 --> 00:21:42,535 That doesn't sound like it's marketed for adults. 511 00:21:42,635 --> 00:21:46,373 Oh, well, maybe you want to try the I'm a Big Boy Blueberry. 512 00:21:46,473 --> 00:21:48,475 All right, look, just-- How much for the whole bag? 513 00:21:48,575 --> 00:21:50,643 You want my whole bag of Cred? 514 00:21:50,743 --> 00:21:51,944 I want you to supply me 515 00:21:52,044 --> 00:21:54,046 with every bottle of Cred you can find. 516 00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:57,183 I have to have more subscribers than my wife. 517 00:22:07,927 --> 00:22:10,363 Eric, sweetie, are you feeling any better? 518 00:22:11,431 --> 00:22:13,800 No, Mom, I'm dying. 519 00:22:13,900 --> 00:22:16,403 I've been completely discredited. 520 00:22:17,169 --> 00:22:21,140 Eric, everything is going to be okay at school tomorrow. 521 00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:22,742 It's too late. 522 00:22:22,842 --> 00:22:24,444 I've already stepped down as founder and chairman 523 00:22:24,544 --> 00:22:25,978 of my own affinity group. 524 00:22:26,078 --> 00:22:28,715 You'll find my letter of resignation on the nightstand. 525 00:22:30,983 --> 00:22:32,619 I'm choosing to step down 526 00:22:32,719 --> 00:22:35,722 before all those sick bastards at school try and force me out. 527 00:22:35,822 --> 00:22:37,924 Well, you need to sit up for just a minute. 528 00:22:38,024 --> 00:22:39,892 Your little friend Clyde wants to talk to you. 529 00:22:39,992 --> 00:22:42,629 Clyde? No, no, no, no, no. Do not let-- Mom! 530 00:22:42,729 --> 00:22:44,731 Do not let Clyde in my-- Aw, goddamn it. 531 00:22:44,831 --> 00:22:46,365 What do you guys want? 532 00:22:46,466 --> 00:22:49,068 Eric, Clyde has an idea that might save our Cred. 533 00:22:49,869 --> 00:22:52,405 Nothing is going to save our Cred, you boners. 534 00:22:52,505 --> 00:22:54,040 Will you just listen? 535 00:22:54,140 --> 00:22:56,308 My influencer said there's gonna be a big Cred promotion 536 00:22:56,409 --> 00:22:57,544 at a CVS in Pueblo. 537 00:22:57,644 --> 00:22:58,945 A promotion, great. 538 00:22:59,045 --> 00:23:00,447 They're gonna sell a very limited quantity 539 00:23:00,547 --> 00:23:02,849 of an all-new Cred that nobody's even tried yet. 540 00:23:02,949 --> 00:23:04,851 TWEEK: So we could ditch school, 541 00:23:04,951 --> 00:23:06,285 find a way to get to Pueblo 542 00:23:06,385 --> 00:23:08,187 and come back with a Cred nobody else can even get. 543 00:23:08,287 --> 00:23:09,789 We'd have our Cred back. 544 00:23:10,690 --> 00:23:12,659 We followed Clyde before, you guys, 545 00:23:12,759 --> 00:23:14,461 and it cost us everything. 546 00:23:14,561 --> 00:23:16,028 Look, 50 cases of Cred, 547 00:23:16,128 --> 00:23:17,964 only available tomorrow 200 miles away 548 00:23:18,064 --> 00:23:19,866 and then not available for another six months. 549 00:23:19,966 --> 00:23:21,367 It's called Mega Cred. 550 00:23:24,771 --> 00:23:26,272 All right, you son of a bitch. 551 00:23:26,372 --> 00:23:29,375 Maybe our affinity group isn't dead just yet. 552 00:23:34,046 --> 00:23:36,048 Hey, what up, guys? It's your boy Randy. 553 00:23:36,148 --> 00:23:37,617 In this video, I'm gonna be trying out 554 00:23:37,717 --> 00:23:40,286 six different flavors of the newest sports drink. 555 00:23:40,386 --> 00:23:43,155 As you can see, I've got lots of Cred. Do you like Cred? 556 00:23:43,255 --> 00:23:44,624 If so, leave a comment down below, 557 00:23:44,724 --> 00:23:46,325 and maybe smash that like button. 558 00:23:46,425 --> 00:23:48,260 Okay, we're gonna start with Summer Popsicle. 559 00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:49,996 I guess it's pretty popular. (sniffs) 560 00:23:50,096 --> 00:23:52,699 Smells okay. Let's see how good it is. 561 00:23:54,701 --> 00:23:56,335 Ooh. Oh, okay, yeah. 562 00:23:56,435 --> 00:23:57,670 That one's kind of fizzy. 563 00:23:57,770 --> 00:23:59,672 K-Kind of fizzy, but more on the penis 564 00:23:59,772 --> 00:24:01,040 than it is on them balls. 565 00:24:01,140 --> 00:24:02,542 Yeah, this is really nice. 566 00:24:02,642 --> 00:24:04,310 Oh. Oh, yeah, it looks good. 567 00:24:04,410 --> 00:24:06,278 Yeah, looks delicious. Oishii. 568 00:24:06,378 --> 00:24:08,815 Hey If you're liking the content, be sure to subscribe. 569 00:24:08,915 --> 00:24:10,116 Really helps the channel out. 570 00:24:10,216 --> 00:24:11,918 Let's move on to another flavor now. 571 00:24:12,018 --> 00:24:13,853 This one's called Purple Snow Globe. 572 00:24:13,953 --> 00:24:15,254 Let's see how it tastes. 573 00:24:15,354 --> 00:24:18,090 Ooh. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's a good one. 574 00:24:18,190 --> 00:24:19,726 (chimes) 575 00:24:21,528 --> 00:24:22,929 Oh? 576 00:24:23,730 --> 00:24:24,731 Oh, my God! 577 00:24:24,831 --> 00:24:26,165 Hey, Sharon! 578 00:24:26,265 --> 00:24:28,200 Sharon, you got to see this! 579 00:24:31,003 --> 00:24:32,572 Oh, there you are, Sharon. 580 00:24:32,672 --> 00:24:35,642 Been out shopping with all the money you made on OnlyFans? 581 00:24:35,742 --> 00:24:37,977 I'm ready to stop whenever you are. 582 00:24:38,077 --> 00:24:40,146 Oh, ho! Yeah, I don't think so, Sharon. 583 00:24:40,246 --> 00:24:43,215 I just had a video on TikTok with 1,000 views 584 00:24:43,315 --> 00:24:45,752 and a video on Meta with 2,000! 585 00:24:45,852 --> 00:24:49,088 That's gonna drive all the subscribers to my OnlyFans page. 586 00:24:49,188 --> 00:24:52,224 You said my penis wasn't a big deal, and now look! 587 00:24:52,992 --> 00:24:55,094 What are you doing to that Cred bottle? 588 00:24:55,194 --> 00:24:57,029 Oh, that's just a little trend jumping. 589 00:24:57,129 --> 00:25:00,199 Randy, you know who drinks Cred, right? Children! 590 00:25:00,299 --> 00:25:02,201 No, it's not even suitable for children. 591 00:25:02,301 --> 00:25:04,170 Okay, this has to stop, Randy. 592 00:25:04,270 --> 00:25:07,439 The only views you're getting on TikTok and Meta are from kids! 593 00:25:07,540 --> 00:25:09,909 That's not what the data shows, Sharon. 594 00:25:10,009 --> 00:25:11,277 According to Meta and TikTok, 595 00:25:11,377 --> 00:25:12,912 their audience is predominately people 596 00:25:13,012 --> 00:25:14,280 over the age of 22. 597 00:25:14,380 --> 00:25:16,382 That means it's not kids who care about Cred, 598 00:25:16,482 --> 00:25:19,418 it's adults who want to see my dick. 599 00:25:20,186 --> 00:25:22,989 Randy, please. Let's just call it a tie, okay? 600 00:25:23,089 --> 00:25:25,191 Oh, I bet you'd love that now. 601 00:25:25,291 --> 00:25:29,028 Now that my OnlyFans is about to be bigger than yours. 602 00:25:29,128 --> 00:25:31,898 I'm gonna beat your ass, honey! 603 00:25:35,902 --> 00:25:38,170 (brakes hiss) 604 00:25:39,505 --> 00:25:40,907 Oh, Jesus, now it looks like they're doing 605 00:25:41,007 --> 00:25:42,842 a two-bottle max per person. 606 00:25:42,942 --> 00:25:45,712 O-Okay, so two bottles each. That means we'll have eight. 607 00:25:45,812 --> 00:25:47,747 -Is that enough Cred? -Oh, my God. 608 00:25:47,847 --> 00:25:49,048 No! 609 00:25:49,148 --> 00:25:51,117 (chanting): We want Cred! We want Cred! 610 00:25:51,217 --> 00:25:54,687 We want Cred! We want Cred! 611 00:25:54,787 --> 00:25:56,455 Dude, there's like 2,000 kids here. 612 00:25:56,555 --> 00:25:58,057 Don't these losers have anything better to do 613 00:25:58,157 --> 00:25:59,558 than fight over a shitty drink? 614 00:25:59,659 --> 00:26:01,360 Come on, we gotta make our way to the front. 615 00:26:01,460 --> 00:26:04,764 Tom, I'm standing outside the CVS in Pueblo 616 00:26:04,864 --> 00:26:08,167 where thousands of children have shown up to get some Cred. 617 00:26:08,267 --> 00:26:10,002 The fake sugar hydration drink 618 00:26:10,102 --> 00:26:12,271 is considered not suitable for children 619 00:26:12,371 --> 00:26:14,173 and yet kids are literally fighting 620 00:26:14,273 --> 00:26:16,776 to get their hands on this limited edition. 621 00:26:16,876 --> 00:26:20,579 I'll be covering the whole thing live here on my OnlyFans page. 622 00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:23,916 Just DM me if there's anything custom you'd like to see. 623 00:26:24,016 --> 00:26:25,551 Dude, this is fucking crazy! 624 00:26:25,652 --> 00:26:27,854 There's never gonna be enough Cred for everybody! 625 00:26:27,954 --> 00:26:30,757 Oh, my God. No. No! 626 00:26:30,857 --> 00:26:32,558 It's fucking Spencer Hollis. 627 00:26:32,659 --> 00:26:34,627 Hey, stop pushing, kid. 628 00:26:34,727 --> 00:26:36,863 What's he doing here, that dirty son a bitch? 629 00:26:36,963 --> 00:26:38,397 He fucking ditched school to come get Cred 630 00:26:38,497 --> 00:26:40,900 and he doesn't even like it! He's a fucking poser! 631 00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:45,638 We want Cred! We want Cred! We want Cred! 632 00:26:45,738 --> 00:26:48,040 The delivery truck! 633 00:26:48,140 --> 00:26:51,177 (screaming) 634 00:26:52,344 --> 00:26:53,345 Ah! 635 00:26:53,445 --> 00:26:55,047 -Ah! Get away! -Give me Cred! 636 00:26:55,147 --> 00:26:57,850 You're all a bunch of animals! Ah! 637 00:26:57,950 --> 00:26:59,652 Cred! Give me the Cred! 638 00:26:59,752 --> 00:27:01,053 I got to have Cred! 639 00:27:01,153 --> 00:27:04,657 We want Cred! We want Cred! 640 00:27:04,757 --> 00:27:07,159 Okay, go, go, go! 641 00:27:08,060 --> 00:27:09,295 Okay, okay, it's here, you bastards. 642 00:27:09,395 --> 00:27:10,830 -Come in and-- Ah! -I was here-- 643 00:27:10,930 --> 00:27:13,332 Tweek's not gonna make it, you guys. 644 00:27:13,432 --> 00:27:14,867 (screaming) 645 00:27:14,967 --> 00:27:18,004 -Where is it? -Where's the Cred? 646 00:27:18,104 --> 00:27:19,972 (screaming) 647 00:27:20,072 --> 00:27:21,540 It's over there! 648 00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:22,909 Give me Cred! 649 00:27:23,009 --> 00:27:25,577 Me first! Me first! 650 00:27:27,613 --> 00:27:29,215 Give me the Cred! 651 00:27:31,650 --> 00:27:33,085 Ah! Ah! 652 00:27:33,185 --> 00:27:35,855 There's some, right there! Ah! 653 00:27:35,955 --> 00:27:38,124 It's gone! It's all gone! 654 00:27:38,224 --> 00:27:41,027 (easy listening music playing) 655 00:27:43,029 --> 00:27:44,697 Mom! 656 00:27:45,732 --> 00:27:46,799 Spencer? 657 00:27:46,899 --> 00:27:49,368 Start the car! Start the car! 658 00:27:49,468 --> 00:27:51,170 Jesus Christ! 659 00:27:51,270 --> 00:27:53,305 Start the fucking car, Mom! 660 00:27:53,405 --> 00:27:55,541 Spencer's getting away with the Cred! 661 00:27:55,641 --> 00:27:57,043 (engine revving) 662 00:27:57,143 --> 00:27:58,610 (tires squeal) 663 00:27:59,578 --> 00:28:01,613 No! 664 00:28:02,414 --> 00:28:05,451 Well, these are extremely impressive numbers. 665 00:28:05,551 --> 00:28:08,454 It looks like your content's getting a lot of views online. 666 00:28:08,554 --> 00:28:09,756 Yeah, thanks. 667 00:28:09,856 --> 00:28:11,357 But you see, what I'm trying to learn now 668 00:28:11,457 --> 00:28:13,292 is how to take all the views I'm getting 669 00:28:13,392 --> 00:28:15,661 on like Instagram and stuff and use them 670 00:28:15,762 --> 00:28:17,196 to make myself bigger. 671 00:28:17,296 --> 00:28:19,031 Well, we can help you with that. 672 00:28:19,131 --> 00:28:20,132 You know, to really succeed, 673 00:28:20,232 --> 00:28:21,633 you gotta ask yourself: 674 00:28:21,734 --> 00:28:24,771 What is it that you want to achieve as an influencer? 675 00:28:24,871 --> 00:28:27,606 Well, what I really want to do 676 00:28:27,706 --> 00:28:29,441 is beat my wife. 677 00:28:32,411 --> 00:28:33,946 You want to beat your wife? 678 00:28:34,046 --> 00:28:35,815 I mean, don't we all? 679 00:28:35,915 --> 00:28:37,216 I-I don't understand, 680 00:28:37,316 --> 00:28:39,752 you want to beat your wife on Instagram? 681 00:28:39,852 --> 00:28:41,153 I want to beat her on Instagram, 682 00:28:41,253 --> 00:28:42,755 I want to beat her on TikTok, 683 00:28:42,855 --> 00:28:45,624 but mostly I want to beat the shit out of her on OnlyFans 684 00:28:45,724 --> 00:28:47,359 and make a lot of money doing it. 685 00:28:47,459 --> 00:28:50,429 Hmm. Okay, well, if you can get the kids to watch 686 00:28:50,529 --> 00:28:52,198 then we can find you a sponsor. 687 00:28:52,298 --> 00:28:54,633 Organizations will do anything to reach kids these days. 688 00:28:54,733 --> 00:28:56,568 Oh, yeah, yeah, but, see, my content 689 00:28:56,668 --> 00:28:58,838 actually isn't suitable for children. 690 00:28:58,938 --> 00:29:00,840 Right. I mean, the data shows 691 00:29:00,940 --> 00:29:03,609 kids aren't the main audience for any of this stuff, right? 692 00:29:03,709 --> 00:29:06,478 -Right. -Right. 693 00:29:06,578 --> 00:29:09,648 Mr. Marsh, the thing is, a sponsor not only gets you cash 694 00:29:09,748 --> 00:29:12,284 but they also help you push that algorithm 695 00:29:12,384 --> 00:29:14,620 so that their message is heard through you. 696 00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:16,088 Oh, really? 697 00:29:16,188 --> 00:29:17,689 Yeah, there's gonna be a lot of companies 698 00:29:17,790 --> 00:29:20,526 that want to pay you to show your videos to "not kids." 699 00:29:20,626 --> 00:29:22,528 But what we want to do is get these sponsors 700 00:29:22,628 --> 00:29:24,663 to bid against each other for your audience. 701 00:29:24,763 --> 00:29:26,966 That's when you become a big influencer. 702 00:29:27,066 --> 00:29:29,969 And then you can beat your wife as much as you want. 703 00:29:30,069 --> 00:29:32,404 Wow. 704 00:30:00,766 --> 00:30:02,701 (fire crackling) 705 00:30:21,687 --> 00:30:22,788 There's nothing. 706 00:30:22,889 --> 00:30:24,423 Just two more broken Cred bottles. 707 00:30:24,523 --> 00:30:27,093 And a couple of cans of SpaghettiOs. 708 00:30:31,998 --> 00:30:33,799 I don't think I can go back. 709 00:30:33,900 --> 00:30:35,667 Go back to what? 710 00:30:35,767 --> 00:30:37,836 Spencer Hollis has all the Cred now. 711 00:30:37,937 --> 00:30:40,272 Tomorrow, he'll start his own affinity group 712 00:30:40,372 --> 00:30:42,274 and not let any of us in. 713 00:30:42,374 --> 00:30:45,244 Don't you guys think this is all fucked up? 714 00:30:45,344 --> 00:30:47,646 Yeah, fucked up 'cause of you. 715 00:30:47,746 --> 00:30:49,781 No, I mean what they're doing to us. 716 00:30:49,882 --> 00:30:52,784 Look at this. My influencer told me to come down here. 717 00:30:52,885 --> 00:30:54,520 He knew there wasn't gonna be enough Cred for everyone. 718 00:30:54,620 --> 00:30:56,188 It's like-- It's like they wanted to create 719 00:30:56,288 --> 00:30:59,325 this false scarcity. Give all us kids FOMO. 720 00:30:59,425 --> 00:31:02,061 If anyone's a FOMO, Clyde, it's you. 721 00:31:02,161 --> 00:31:05,264 You guys aren't listening. We've been manipulated. 722 00:31:05,364 --> 00:31:07,166 If kids are willing to fight and die over this, 723 00:31:07,266 --> 00:31:09,468 then what else would they be willing to fight and die over? 724 00:31:09,568 --> 00:31:11,670 Nobody in school cared about hydration drinks 725 00:31:11,770 --> 00:31:13,039 three weeks ago. 726 00:31:13,139 --> 00:31:15,541 My influencer convinced me to come down here. 727 00:31:15,641 --> 00:31:18,077 What else is he convincing me to do? 728 00:31:18,177 --> 00:31:20,779 So, maybe if we find your influencer, 729 00:31:20,879 --> 00:31:22,014 then he can give us Cred? 730 00:31:22,114 --> 00:31:23,282 No! 731 00:31:23,382 --> 00:31:25,251 No, no, no. I like your angle, Clyde. 732 00:31:25,351 --> 00:31:26,919 Maybe this whole thing is a sham. 733 00:31:27,019 --> 00:31:28,854 If we can make the whole thing look stupid, 734 00:31:28,955 --> 00:31:30,656 then we make a Cred affinity group look stupid. 735 00:31:30,756 --> 00:31:32,824 Then Spencer Hollis will have nothing to keep us out of. 736 00:31:32,925 --> 00:31:35,494 I just know there's more to all this than we think. 737 00:31:35,594 --> 00:31:37,596 I know what town my influencer lives in. 738 00:31:37,696 --> 00:31:39,698 I want some goddamn answers. 739 00:31:39,798 --> 00:31:41,133 Tweek, Butters, 740 00:31:41,233 --> 00:31:42,734 gather up all the Pop-Tarts and SpaghettiOs you can. 741 00:31:42,834 --> 00:31:45,904 We move out at oh-ninety-two-hundred. 742 00:31:54,046 --> 00:31:55,481 Can I help you? 743 00:31:55,581 --> 00:31:57,383 Yeah, hi, I'm a big influencer? 744 00:31:57,483 --> 00:32:00,386 My agent sent me here to find a sponsor? 745 00:32:00,486 --> 00:32:03,289 -Name. -Uh, Randy Marsh? 746 00:32:03,389 --> 00:32:05,024 It's with five Rs because there was already 747 00:32:05,124 --> 00:32:07,293 a Randy Marsh on TikTok. 748 00:32:07,393 --> 00:32:08,894 Put this around your neck. Through that door 749 00:32:08,995 --> 00:32:10,796 and wait with the other influencers. 750 00:32:10,896 --> 00:32:12,364 Oh, okay, thanks. 751 00:32:15,767 --> 00:32:17,669 Okay, influencers, follow me, 752 00:32:17,769 --> 00:32:19,538 stand in a straight line and step forward 753 00:32:19,638 --> 00:32:21,640 when your number is called. 754 00:32:26,712 --> 00:32:28,180 Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. 755 00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:30,282 We have some incredible influencers available today. 756 00:32:30,382 --> 00:32:32,351 They are all complete freelancers 757 00:32:32,451 --> 00:32:34,353 and looking for sponsors. 758 00:32:34,453 --> 00:32:37,856 First off, we have influencer number 394 759 00:32:37,956 --> 00:32:39,325 This is BlinkyBlankyGirl. 760 00:32:39,425 --> 00:32:41,360 She has over 10,000 views on Instagram, 761 00:32:41,460 --> 00:32:43,229 6,800 on TikTok 762 00:32:43,329 --> 00:32:45,164 and is up-and-coming on Meta and X. 763 00:32:45,264 --> 00:32:46,665 Who would like to own this influencer? 764 00:32:46,765 --> 00:32:48,934 We'll start the bidding at 20. 20, do I hear 20? 765 00:32:49,035 --> 00:32:50,536 There's 20. Do I hear 25, 25? 766 00:32:50,636 --> 00:32:54,006 Let's hear 25, 25, 30. (gibberish) 767 00:32:54,106 --> 00:32:55,474 25 from Mattel Toys. 768 00:32:55,574 --> 00:32:57,443 Mattel Toys now the highest bidder at 25. 769 00:32:57,543 --> 00:33:01,713 25, who's gonna go for 30? 30, 30. (gibberish) 770 00:33:01,813 --> 00:33:03,815 30! 30 from Lunchables! Let's go 50. 771 00:33:03,915 --> 00:33:05,317 50 now, who wants the influencer? 772 00:33:05,417 --> 00:33:07,819 -50, 50. (gibberish) -100! 773 00:33:07,919 --> 00:33:11,323 100! 100 from the Chinese government! Can we go 150? 774 00:33:11,423 --> 00:33:13,692 150? (gibberish) 775 00:33:13,792 --> 00:33:15,561 150, 150, yes! 776 00:33:15,661 --> 00:33:17,329 Stoli Vodka at 150. 777 00:33:17,429 --> 00:33:18,997 150, the current bid from Stoli Vodka. 778 00:33:19,098 --> 00:33:20,399 What about you, Build-A-Bear? 779 00:33:20,499 --> 00:33:23,902 Do we hear from Build-A-Bear? (gibberish) 780 00:33:24,002 --> 00:33:27,373 160! 160 from the NRA, outbidding Stoli Vodka. 781 00:33:27,473 --> 00:33:29,708 Who wants to influence the youngins more? 782 00:33:29,808 --> 00:33:31,443 (gibberish) 783 00:33:31,543 --> 00:33:33,445 170 from Voices for Ukraine. 784 00:33:33,545 --> 00:33:35,247 Don't let them outbid you, Russia. 785 00:33:35,347 --> 00:33:37,416 No? Chinese government? No? 786 00:33:37,516 --> 00:33:40,619 Sold to Voices for Ukraine. Thank you. 787 00:33:40,719 --> 00:33:43,389 I don't understand what happened. 788 00:33:43,489 --> 00:33:44,690 Just keep making your stupid videos, 789 00:33:44,790 --> 00:33:46,125 they'll tell you what to say. 790 00:33:46,225 --> 00:33:49,061 Okay, next up we have influencer number 226. 791 00:33:49,161 --> 00:33:51,897 This is Kevinlovesoranges. 792 00:33:51,997 --> 00:33:55,334 Over six million views on TikTok, 4,600 on Instagram 793 00:33:55,434 --> 00:33:57,203 and a small following on X and Meta. 794 00:33:57,303 --> 00:34:00,005 Who wants Kevinlovesoranges to push their agenda? 795 00:34:00,106 --> 00:34:02,908 We'll start at 40, 40. China in at 40, China at 40. 796 00:34:03,008 --> 00:34:06,278 Who's gonna go 50? Russia with 50. (gibberish) 797 00:34:06,378 --> 00:34:08,647 55, 60, Big Pharma at 60. 798 00:34:08,747 --> 00:34:10,416 60. (gibberish) Kellogg's Cereal. 799 00:34:10,516 --> 00:34:11,817 (gibberish) Ravenclaw Casinos. 800 00:34:11,917 --> 00:34:13,319 (gibberish) Influence the children. 801 00:34:13,419 --> 00:34:15,721 Can I hear 70? Last call for 70. 802 00:34:15,821 --> 00:34:17,022 (gibberish) 803 00:34:17,123 --> 00:34:20,025 Sold to the Canadian government, congratulations. 804 00:34:20,126 --> 00:34:22,861 Our next influencer, number 427. 805 00:34:22,961 --> 00:34:25,231 This is Randy Marrrrrsh. 806 00:34:25,331 --> 00:34:28,200 We'll start the bidding at 50. 50, do I hear 50? 50? 807 00:34:28,300 --> 00:34:30,802 (gibberish) 808 00:34:30,902 --> 00:34:33,605 (gibberish slows) 809 00:34:33,705 --> 00:34:35,907 50? No? Come on, Mattel Toys. Let's hear from you. 810 00:34:36,007 --> 00:34:37,709 How about 40? 40? 811 00:34:37,809 --> 00:34:39,044 How about 40, let's do 40? 812 00:34:39,145 --> 00:34:41,280 (gibberish) 813 00:34:41,380 --> 00:34:43,582 (gibberish slows) 814 00:34:44,516 --> 00:34:46,618 FBI AGENT: Freeze! Nobody move! 815 00:34:48,254 --> 00:34:50,389 (people screaming) 816 00:34:53,392 --> 00:34:54,293 Up here! He's up here! 817 00:34:54,393 --> 00:34:56,462 Are you Randy Marrrrrsh? 818 00:34:56,562 --> 00:34:58,464 -Yeah? -All right, we got him. 819 00:34:58,564 --> 00:34:59,665 Hands behind your back. 820 00:34:59,765 --> 00:35:01,333 Me? I didn't do anything. 821 00:35:01,433 --> 00:35:03,669 I'm just trying to beat my wife. (chokes) 822 00:35:03,769 --> 00:35:06,938 On your knees! Hands behind your back now! 823 00:35:07,739 --> 00:35:09,708 (knocking on door) 824 00:35:10,576 --> 00:35:12,878 Hello? Logan LaDouche? 825 00:35:12,978 --> 00:35:16,148 -Hello? We know you're in there. -(lock clicks) 826 00:35:18,817 --> 00:35:21,420 Go away. I'm in enough trouble as it is. 827 00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:23,355 Look, dude, we just want to talk to you, okay? 828 00:35:23,455 --> 00:35:25,324 No, not okay. I'm in hiding. 829 00:35:25,424 --> 00:35:26,925 How did you guys find me? 830 00:35:27,025 --> 00:35:28,727 Dude, if you're in hiding, you shouldn't probably post 831 00:35:28,827 --> 00:35:30,929 videos of yourself at the motel you're hiding in. 832 00:35:31,029 --> 00:35:34,700 Shit. Shit, I just can't help myself. 833 00:35:37,903 --> 00:35:40,606 Brah, we need to know the truth about Cred. 834 00:35:40,706 --> 00:35:44,042 I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to cause a riot. 835 00:35:44,142 --> 00:35:46,278 Did Cred want us all to kill each other? 836 00:35:47,179 --> 00:35:50,449 If you found me, then so can they. Just go. 837 00:35:50,549 --> 00:35:52,484 Okay, okay, fine, Mr. Influencer, 838 00:35:52,584 --> 00:35:54,720 we'll leave. (shouts) 839 00:35:54,820 --> 00:35:57,356 -Yeah. -(shouts) What the fuck are you doing? 840 00:35:57,456 --> 00:35:59,157 Where's the Cred? You got some Cred? 841 00:35:59,258 --> 00:36:00,592 Butters, Butters, calm down. 842 00:36:00,692 --> 00:36:02,228 They're gonna take me out, man. 843 00:36:02,328 --> 00:36:05,063 I should just turn myself in. I'll be safer in jail. 844 00:36:05,163 --> 00:36:07,233 Listen, dude, I went to Pueblo 'cause of you. 845 00:36:07,333 --> 00:36:08,934 Why did you tell us we could get Mega Cred 846 00:36:09,034 --> 00:36:10,502 when you knew there wasn't enough? 847 00:36:10,602 --> 00:36:12,638 Brah, I don't even drink that crap. 848 00:36:12,738 --> 00:36:14,172 Don't you get it, man? 849 00:36:14,273 --> 00:36:16,908 I'm just this tiny little piece of a very big lie. 850 00:36:17,008 --> 00:36:19,010 You guys are all being manipulated. 851 00:36:19,110 --> 00:36:21,213 I trusted you. I've watched all your videos, 852 00:36:21,313 --> 00:36:23,482 and you told me to be strong and never give up. 853 00:36:23,582 --> 00:36:25,451 That's all just Cred messing with me? 854 00:36:25,551 --> 00:36:27,953 Don't you get it? I don't work for Cred. 855 00:36:28,053 --> 00:36:30,556 The Cred is just there to get views, man. 856 00:36:30,656 --> 00:36:32,224 'Cause kids love it so much. 857 00:36:32,324 --> 00:36:35,160 But if Cred isn't your sponsor, then-then who is? 858 00:36:35,261 --> 00:36:38,797 If you knew, it would make you sick. 859 00:36:39,765 --> 00:36:42,368 They just use you and Cred to get to us, 860 00:36:42,468 --> 00:36:44,035 and those higher-up people 861 00:36:44,135 --> 00:36:45,904 can get us some limited-edition Cred? 862 00:36:46,004 --> 00:36:48,940 -Who has the Cred? -Butters, Jesus. 863 00:36:53,579 --> 00:36:55,347 RANDY: Oh, there-there she is. 864 00:36:55,447 --> 00:36:57,082 Hey, Sharon. 865 00:36:57,182 --> 00:36:58,650 This is my wife, Sharon. 866 00:36:58,750 --> 00:37:00,886 She's an OnlyFans model just like me. 867 00:37:00,986 --> 00:37:03,822 We are both legally supplementing our income. 868 00:37:03,922 --> 00:37:06,191 So you work with your husband, ma'am? 869 00:37:06,292 --> 00:37:08,860 No, we have very different OnlyFans accounts. 870 00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:10,862 I could never do what he does. 871 00:37:10,962 --> 00:37:12,964 Thanks, honey, it's nice for you to finally admit it. 872 00:37:13,064 --> 00:37:15,634 Now I'd like to know what I'm being detained for. 873 00:37:15,734 --> 00:37:17,503 Exposing children to pornography, 874 00:37:17,603 --> 00:37:19,204 soliciting nude images to a minor, 875 00:37:19,305 --> 00:37:20,539 child endangerment... 876 00:37:20,639 --> 00:37:22,308 Oh, come on, like it's just me? 877 00:37:22,408 --> 00:37:23,875 Everybody's doing it. 878 00:37:23,975 --> 00:37:26,144 There's an entire network where everyone just pretends 879 00:37:26,244 --> 00:37:28,013 Internet platforms aren't made for children 880 00:37:28,113 --> 00:37:31,182 but they all auction our kids to the highest bidder. 881 00:37:32,217 --> 00:37:35,787 You seem like some kind of influencer expert. 882 00:37:35,887 --> 00:37:37,956 Would you say these things on record? 883 00:37:38,056 --> 00:37:39,858 No, 'cause I'm a sovereign citizen, 884 00:37:39,958 --> 00:37:42,494 and I don't need to tell you anything. (blows raspberry) 885 00:37:42,594 --> 00:37:45,631 -Randy, you need to cooperate. -Why? 886 00:37:45,731 --> 00:37:47,999 I'll tell you why, scumbag. 887 00:37:48,099 --> 00:37:50,469 Your posts drew in a lot of children, 888 00:37:50,569 --> 00:37:52,438 and they like to copy what they see. 889 00:37:52,538 --> 00:37:56,308 So then kids started creating their own erotic content 890 00:37:56,408 --> 00:37:58,243 based on yours. 891 00:37:58,344 --> 00:38:00,312 * * 892 00:38:00,412 --> 00:38:02,113 -What? -That's right. 893 00:38:02,213 --> 00:38:04,983 We've just found sexuality explicit, 894 00:38:05,083 --> 00:38:08,219 pornographic images of minors. 895 00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:10,922 I warn you, what you are about to see 896 00:38:11,022 --> 00:38:14,393 is extremely disturbing and graphic. 897 00:38:14,493 --> 00:38:16,728 * * 898 00:38:26,338 --> 00:38:29,475 Oh, God. Ugh. 899 00:38:29,575 --> 00:38:31,042 Oh, don't close your eyes now. 900 00:38:31,142 --> 00:38:34,212 You think these miners deserved to be treated like this? 901 00:38:44,790 --> 00:38:47,893 What have I done? I had no idea. 902 00:38:47,993 --> 00:38:51,062 Randy, you knew kids were watching your content. 903 00:38:51,162 --> 00:38:53,699 Yeah, but I never knew it would lead to... 904 00:38:53,799 --> 00:38:55,901 pornographic images of miners. 905 00:38:56,001 --> 00:38:57,903 God, it's disgusting. 906 00:38:58,003 --> 00:39:00,939 Being an influencer is disgusting. 907 00:39:01,039 --> 00:39:03,475 All right, I'm gonna tell you everything I know 908 00:39:03,575 --> 00:39:05,511 about how the system works. 909 00:39:05,611 --> 00:39:07,212 This has to stop. 910 00:39:08,146 --> 00:39:09,415 Hey, what's up, guys? 911 00:39:09,515 --> 00:39:11,016 Just wanted to let you all know that I think 912 00:39:11,116 --> 00:39:12,484 maybe I'm gonna get killed or arrested, 913 00:39:12,584 --> 00:39:14,420 so I'm hiding out in this motel room. 914 00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:17,055 Be sure to like and subscribe. It really helps the channel out. 915 00:39:17,155 --> 00:39:18,924 Dude, will you stop making videos? 916 00:39:19,024 --> 00:39:20,959 I don't know what else to do, okay? 917 00:39:21,059 --> 00:39:23,695 All I've ever done is make fucking videos. 918 00:39:23,795 --> 00:39:25,564 But for who? You said it wasn't for Cred, 919 00:39:25,664 --> 00:39:27,098 so then who sponsors you? 920 00:39:27,198 --> 00:39:29,200 LOGAN: I just wanted to be a big influencer. 921 00:39:29,300 --> 00:39:31,537 So I got put on this stage and I was auctioned off 922 00:39:31,637 --> 00:39:33,138 to the highest bidder. 923 00:39:33,238 --> 00:39:36,107 People will pay anything to push their agenda on you guys. 924 00:39:36,207 --> 00:39:38,376 What, you mean, like, the Chinese government or something? 925 00:39:38,477 --> 00:39:41,279 I'm sponsored by people worse than the Chinese government. 926 00:39:41,379 --> 00:39:43,882 I can't tell you who they are, because then the companies 927 00:39:43,982 --> 00:39:46,284 that run the whole system will have me killed. 928 00:39:46,384 --> 00:39:48,319 We deserve to know who's been manipulating us. 929 00:39:48,420 --> 00:39:51,757 Tell us the truth and we'll make sure you're safe, okay? 930 00:39:52,558 --> 00:39:54,059 You promise? 931 00:39:54,159 --> 00:39:56,462 Yes, we promise. 932 00:39:56,562 --> 00:39:58,163 Fine. 933 00:39:58,263 --> 00:40:00,932 The truth is, I'm being paid by... 934 00:40:01,032 --> 00:40:03,268 -(gunshot) -(grunts) 935 00:40:03,368 --> 00:40:05,103 Whoops! 936 00:40:07,806 --> 00:40:09,374 -(screams) -Okay, okay. 937 00:40:09,475 --> 00:40:12,077 We don't care who's trying to influence us! 938 00:40:12,878 --> 00:40:15,681 (sirens wailing) 939 00:40:15,781 --> 00:40:17,983 (tires screeching) 940 00:40:18,083 --> 00:40:19,350 The game is up, scumbag. 941 00:40:19,451 --> 00:40:21,987 We know about the whole operation. 942 00:40:24,422 --> 00:40:26,124 -(megaphone static) -We know everything. 943 00:40:26,224 --> 00:40:28,827 The influencers are being paid by organizations 944 00:40:28,927 --> 00:40:32,030 to knowingly influence children. 945 00:40:33,732 --> 00:40:35,467 -(megaphone static) -ASSASSIN: The data shows that consumers 946 00:40:35,567 --> 00:40:39,805 of social media platforms are predominately adults over 21. 947 00:40:39,905 --> 00:40:41,272 Oh, come on. 948 00:40:41,372 --> 00:40:43,374 Within tech companies, it's an open secret 949 00:40:43,475 --> 00:40:47,613 that millions of users are actually under the age of 13. 950 00:40:47,713 --> 00:40:49,915 ASSASSIN: Tech companies are working diligently 951 00:40:50,015 --> 00:40:52,217 to find ways to make the Internet safer for children, 952 00:40:52,317 --> 00:40:53,852 but these methods are often criticized 953 00:40:53,952 --> 00:40:56,054 for violating free speech. 954 00:40:56,154 --> 00:40:59,725 Okay, and tech companies use those assertions 955 00:40:59,825 --> 00:41:03,895 and their endless cash to keep regulations tied up in court 956 00:41:03,995 --> 00:41:07,899 so they can continue to profit off of our kids. 957 00:41:07,999 --> 00:41:09,901 (megaphone static) 958 00:41:10,001 --> 00:41:13,905 Okay, well, you'll never take me alive, copper. 959 00:41:15,807 --> 00:41:17,375 (shouts) 960 00:41:20,579 --> 00:41:24,182 He's still alive. Let's get City General out here. 961 00:41:27,418 --> 00:41:31,056 Who do you work for? Who's trying to influence me? 962 00:41:33,659 --> 00:41:34,726 (grunts) 963 00:41:34,826 --> 00:41:37,062 (babbles) 964 00:41:38,797 --> 00:41:40,331 He's just the middleman, kids. 965 00:41:40,431 --> 00:41:44,269 Whoever was trying to influence you is still a mystery. 966 00:41:49,575 --> 00:41:51,242 (brakes hiss) 967 00:41:58,249 --> 00:42:00,518 Hey, fellas, I got an idea. 968 00:42:00,619 --> 00:42:02,988 How about we just keep our affinity group, 969 00:42:03,088 --> 00:42:04,556 but instead of it being about Cred, 970 00:42:04,656 --> 00:42:07,659 it's just about how proud we are of who we are. 971 00:42:07,759 --> 00:42:09,995 No, they won't let us do that, Butters, 'cause we're white. 972 00:42:10,095 --> 00:42:11,362 White people can't be in groups talking about 973 00:42:11,462 --> 00:42:13,431 how proud they are, it doesn't fly. 974 00:42:13,531 --> 00:42:14,833 Dang it. 975 00:42:14,933 --> 00:42:16,702 Well, then, I guess we just got to accept 976 00:42:16,802 --> 00:42:18,436 that we're gonna go to school tomorrow 977 00:42:18,536 --> 00:42:20,305 and get totally boned. 978 00:42:20,405 --> 00:42:21,640 Yep. 979 00:42:21,740 --> 00:42:23,074 (thudding) 980 00:42:23,174 --> 00:42:26,344 Hey, look, you guys. It's Cred. 981 00:42:27,312 --> 00:42:29,347 (engine running) 982 00:42:32,217 --> 00:42:35,453 Mr. Marsh? What are you doing with all that Cred? 983 00:42:35,553 --> 00:42:39,257 I'm putting it where it belongs, in the garbage. 984 00:42:41,159 --> 00:42:43,094 But that's, like, Jelly Roll Midnight Waffle House. 985 00:42:43,194 --> 00:42:44,963 Do you know what that's worth? 986 00:42:45,063 --> 00:42:46,431 Yeah, I know what it's worth. 987 00:42:46,531 --> 00:42:48,533 It's worth gold to all the people in the world 988 00:42:48,634 --> 00:42:51,469 who want to use social media to influence children. 989 00:42:51,569 --> 00:42:54,139 But there's more to life than making money. 990 00:42:54,239 --> 00:42:57,676 And there's more to marriage than just beating your wife. 991 00:42:57,776 --> 00:42:59,410 The bottom line is that 992 00:42:59,510 --> 00:43:02,113 all this social media influencer garbage 993 00:43:02,213 --> 00:43:04,783 is not suitable for children. 994 00:43:04,883 --> 00:43:06,885 And if you're a kid on social media, 995 00:43:06,985 --> 00:43:10,789 you have to know that someone is always trying to get to you. 996 00:43:10,889 --> 00:43:13,224 All you have to do is ask yourself, 997 00:43:13,324 --> 00:43:17,262 "Who is it that wants to influence me the most?" 998 00:43:20,799 --> 00:43:23,268 Holy shit. 999 00:43:26,471 --> 00:43:28,907 Janice! 1000 00:43:30,475 --> 00:43:33,578 Oh, Clyde, where have you been? We've been worried sick. 1001 00:43:33,679 --> 00:43:35,714 It was you, this whole time. 1002 00:43:35,814 --> 00:43:38,216 You've been trying to influence me for months. 1003 00:43:38,316 --> 00:43:39,785 Clyde, you really should have 1004 00:43:39,885 --> 00:43:41,286 let your father know where you were... 1005 00:43:41,386 --> 00:43:43,521 You've been paying an influencer to try and reach me, 1006 00:43:43,621 --> 00:43:45,590 and you caused this whole fucking mess! 1007 00:43:45,691 --> 00:43:48,059 What is this about, Janice? 1008 00:43:48,159 --> 00:43:52,463 I don't think people understand how hard it is to be a stepmom. 1009 00:43:53,699 --> 00:43:55,500 You want to try and teach your kids, 1010 00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:59,070 but they don't listen because you're not their "real parent." 1011 00:44:00,238 --> 00:44:03,308 I just wanted to be a good influence on you, Clyde. 1012 00:44:03,408 --> 00:44:05,143 But influencing kids these days 1013 00:44:05,243 --> 00:44:09,047 requires good lighting and a quality microphone. 1014 00:44:09,915 --> 00:44:11,950 But why Cred? If you're so against it, 1015 00:44:12,050 --> 00:44:13,584 then why have it in all those videos? 1016 00:44:13,685 --> 00:44:16,187 That was just to get your views, Clyde. 1017 00:44:16,287 --> 00:44:19,657 Your views are so important to me, 1018 00:44:19,758 --> 00:44:21,492 because we never talk. 1019 00:44:21,592 --> 00:44:24,095 Maybe what I did was all a bit much, 1020 00:44:24,195 --> 00:44:25,964 but look at us. 1021 00:44:26,064 --> 00:44:28,700 Here we are, talking. 1022 00:44:31,469 --> 00:44:33,972 Janice, can I call you "Mom"? 1023 00:44:34,072 --> 00:44:36,141 Yes, of course. 1024 00:44:36,241 --> 00:44:38,343 Fuck you, Mom! 1025 00:44:41,212 --> 00:44:43,414 (exhales): Oh... 1026 00:44:44,249 --> 00:44:46,117 (indistinct chatter) 1027 00:44:47,285 --> 00:44:49,721 Whoa, Spencer, is that Mega Cred? 1028 00:44:49,821 --> 00:44:51,222 Yeah, pretty cool, right? 1029 00:44:51,322 --> 00:44:53,258 "Pretty cool"? How'd you get that? 1030 00:44:53,358 --> 00:44:55,761 Oh, I just went to this thing in Pueblo. No big deal. 1031 00:44:55,861 --> 00:44:59,097 Everyone! Everyone, can I have your attention, please? 1032 00:44:59,197 --> 00:45:01,332 We have something really important to tell you guys. 1033 00:45:01,432 --> 00:45:02,868 Tweek and Butters and I have learned 1034 00:45:02,968 --> 00:45:04,435 a lot of things recently. 1035 00:45:04,535 --> 00:45:07,038 We have news that you will all find shocking. 1036 00:45:07,138 --> 00:45:09,040 You see, we talked to Mr. Marsh, 1037 00:45:09,140 --> 00:45:11,276 and he gave us four bottles 1038 00:45:11,376 --> 00:45:13,845 of Jelly Roll Midnight Waffle House. 1039 00:45:13,945 --> 00:45:15,280 (all gasping) 1040 00:45:15,380 --> 00:45:17,082 -(cheering, screaming) -No, no, no. Back up. 1041 00:45:17,182 --> 00:45:19,517 This is for the Cred affinity group only. 1042 00:45:19,617 --> 00:45:22,187 -You can look at our Cred, but don't touch. -All right! 1043 00:45:22,287 --> 00:45:24,722 Oh, oh, hey, Clyde. 1044 00:45:24,823 --> 00:45:26,457 Say, Clyde, you, uh, 1045 00:45:26,557 --> 00:45:28,459 forgot your super special Jelly Roll Cred 1046 00:45:28,559 --> 00:45:30,495 at the group meeting, remember? 1047 00:45:38,169 --> 00:45:40,005 It tastes amazing. 1048 00:45:40,105 --> 00:45:41,239 -(cheering) -All right! 1049 00:45:41,339 --> 00:45:43,641 Yeah! Clyde's got Cred again! 1050 00:45:43,741 --> 00:45:45,777 (cheering) 1051 00:45:50,715 --> 00:45:52,750 * * 1052 00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:24,749 * *