(SCREECHES)
Okay, you bastard.
Let's get it on.
New roof there.
Sandblast that. New doors on there.
You know what?
Let's do it.
It's the end of the summer
and I'm trying to keep busy at my West Sussex farm...
Ding-dong!
...as I haven't yet started on my Lake House,
due to permissions dragging.
We've been waiting to get that green light to get going.
There's not much we can do. Our hands are tied.
We can't even put a spade in the ground here.
Well, this is a really big deal, because the next step
that we have to take in this process is go to the parish-council meeting.
They say the parish council don't make decisions
and it's not a yes or no with them,
but what they tell Chichester District Council is taken on board.
So I've got to keep my head down
and not be rubbing the locals up the wrong way.
The problem is...
Nothing's easy, is it?
...my Lake House approval... No one here, see?
...can't come soon enough
and all this waiting around is testing my patience.
He loves having an issue.
Problem-solving. Every day, he's got to build.
Fire it up, George.
Until I get the thumbs-up,
I can't get the digger out on the Lake House,
but no one said anything about the lakes.
I just looked at my diary this morning.
I ain't got nothing Monday or Tuesday.
So I'm on it. I'm on it.
With two lakes for the fish to swim about in,
a wild swimming pool, just for me and Blondie, sounds perfect.
So what the plan is now is we'll top-soil it all,
give it a scraping there, then I want to get the professionals in,
who make these wild swimming pools, get them in to tell us what we do.
Big George is happy in his surroundings
and it turns out I've got the perfect wildlife for my pond, too.
Here you are, I've got a frog.
A frog there. A frog there. Look, look. See 'em?
We'll leave them. We'll leave that, George.
Frogs!
Oh, my goodness, that was just an excuse, I think,
just to dig a big hole.
That's probably the biggest hole that he's dug so far.
It's like a crater. It's gonna change the whole landscape,
because it's such a massive thing.
Got it.
As the wild swimming pool takes shape, Wobbly is having a wobble
about another hole, in my staff kitchen.
He hates gaps.
So you do anything. It's like this,
he'll want something here, because this will annoy him.
100%. Right? You wait and see.
How are we doing? Oh, that's the biz, mate, innit?
Yeah, more or less done. Just got the plinths to do.
And that's it. Finished.Oh, lovely. Another job off the list.
You know, there, where we've got that big gap?
Add a bit of backsplash oak?
Trying to get on with the kitchen, he comes in, do this, do that.
If there's nothing going on elsewhere, he's walking around,
finding somewhere to be a fucking pain in the arse.
I don't think you need it, if I'm being honest.
I think it's just a bit too much detail.Okay.
All right. Sometimes, less is more.
See you later. See you later.
Ready, boys?
He's just, oh, ying and yang.
Twang and wang. Bing and bang.
Bill and Ben.
That's great, now all the staff can cook their own dinners.
A really good job. Really nice, really pleased with that.
He's... He's just brilliant. He gets it done.
With the kitchen in good hands...
Daz, can you bring the digger round?
...I've had another idea to keep myself busy.
And another digger job for my crazy gang.
We are building a heliport for Vinnie.
So I've got my work cut out today.
(MAN SPEAKING)
Yeah, I've got a fish pond in mine!
My old mate Dennis Wise and his mate are coming in on Saturday morning.
So it's got to be nice and ready. You know what I mean?
It's not that bad, mate.
That's as good as it gets, baby. Five metres square.
Anybody digging a helicopter pad in their garden...
...five metres square, all round.
With all this time on my hands, I can finally get some jobs done...
That one needs a bit of work.
...and on that list is collecting the spare key for one of my trucks
from my old muckers at the bespoke car dealers.
I think that's Guy Ritchie's one there.
(READS) For sale. Guy Ritchie's custom Land Rover 110.
A rare icon of style and performance, 125 grand.
I drove that on The Gentlemen.
I drove it.
It's lovely, though. A nice colour.Yeah. Beautiful.
I'm more interested in the tractor.
Look!You should buy that, Vin. I'll have that.
This is mine, innit? It is.
They've given the best number to a bloke that spent six quid here.
Which was what? Double-oh seven.Right.
What have you got?
What did you...
(LAUGHTER)
I thought, if I whinged enough, I might... I thought I might get it.
(LAUGHS) Double-oh seven!
That's the bollocks, innit?
Many years ago, I was in talks for the bad guy.
And, erm, I can't remember his name, he did it, in the end and I didn't.
I didn't do it. A bit of a regret.
Well, it had to be done, didn't it? Yeah!
(LAUGHS)
Well done, boys. I do very much appreciate that.
What else have you got to show us? Any toys or anything?
Cor! Look at this. I went across Russia in one of these.
For a month.
Chasing the bear poachers and the salmon poachers and that.
The tracks kept coming off. We had to do them out in the tundra.
I always laugh, because there was... We had a Russian driver
and he was in there...
It's hot in there.Really hot. Pissing with...Yeah.And he, like,
he was drinking these bottles and bottles of water.
We found out, at the end of the week, it was vodka!Ha! The usual.
Yeah, like water! And he was boshing it down.
Just to be seen driving round the farm in it!That would be hilarious.
It would, wouldn't it? Yeah.
I might have got a bit distracted here.
I was only meant to get my keys.
No battery! Thanks, lads. Yeah, thanks, yeah.
Cheers, Stu. No battery in my fob.
You bell-end!
(LAUGHTER) What a cock.
Cheers, Vin. See ya!
It wasn't even you. Bell-end! Yeah.
No battery in the thingy!
Over at the lakes...
my wild-swimming-pool digging is causing complaints.
The neighbours are, I'm sure, a little bit concerned,
as to what's happening with a massive hole.
Yeah, I'm sure tongues are wagging.
And with the parish-council meeting days away,
I can't be putting a foot wrong.
Morning! Enjoy your walk.
Vinnie is worried about public perception.
The parish council provides a lot of influence.
They will oppose any planning that they don't see is correct.
That could be a bit of a disaster.
To help with my neighbourly problem, I've brought in my lad, Dave,
and consultant Johnny for advice.
Morning, Johnny. Vinnie, how do you do?
What can we do?Yeah.And the other thing is what is legal?Yeah.
Because we do have people come down here
and constantly phone the council on me.
And say, "Oi, what you up to?" Yeah.
Okay. Erm...
So, in the first instance, you've got to think of your legals.
Er, so you are creating a small lake.
You should really get the planning issues sorted out.
I think, if you don't want to go down all that...
I don't....legal... I want a lake....aspect,
my first impression...
Yeah?...my thought would be to re-landscape all of these,
sort of, earthworks here, that you've done.
Yes.Fold it back in again. Yes.
Put it down to a wildflower-seed mix.
You're reinstating it. That's legal?Yeah.
Quite a lot of work to do, though.
Which one? This one? Yeah.
Look, I'm not this big Hollywood star that's gonna come
and smash the hell out of the countryside with a baseball bat.
It, it don't, it doesn't have to be this...
You know, just sapping all this energy,
with this fight that's not there.
He needs to fill it. He needs to fill that hole.
2 My big projects this summer haven't exactly gone to plan.
Twelve steps forward,
24 back, it's exhausting.
It's hard when every man and his dog
wants to tell you what to do in your own back garden,
so I'm hoping Blondie's side projects have been more rewarding.
Wobbs? Yes, dear?
Are you busy?I'm always busy. What do you want?
Well, there's been a few developments here.
What was gonna be this, sort of, very illustrious...
(LAUGHS)
...beautiful... (CONTINUES LAUGHING)
...cabbage veg patch, it's, in fact,
just been desecrated, basically, by caterpillars.
Blondie's plans to get me and the lads to eat more greens
has taken a serious battering.
They've just taken over. Look.
(LAUGHS)
Well, it didn't go very well, did it? It was all exciting.
Then, all of a sudden, things went drastically wrong.
So what can we do about it?
Well, there's still caterpillars here
and I'm still feeding them Savoy cabbages
from a very nice supermarket. Ah!
So you now want to stop the birds predating on the caterpillars?Yes!
I now...Okay.I'm... We're, basically, saving the caterpillars.
This is their little sanctuary here. What do caterpillars turn into?
Butterflies.So, if you net them, how are they gonna fly away?
We'll let them out. Can we just cover it straight over
and pin it straight to this?
Do you remember, Wobbs, that you were the, sort of, the beginning...
It was our little project. It was.You've let me down,
because you let my cabbages die. But it's all trial and error.
It's all an experiment, isn't it?
I'm gonna keep feeding them,
because my plan of feeding has obviously worked and, er, yeah,
they're relying on me, they'll just follow me.
It'll be very Disney-like. They'll just follow me out, like that.
You think so?Yeah.I don't think it will happen like that.
(GIGGLES) That's the plan!
# This world of delusion! #
(LAUGHS) There you go. Then you can open that up.
That's it. Lovely.Would you like me to give you a lettuce
and some beetroot?
As a reward for your hard work?
I'd rather have some money.
(GIGGLES) Ain't you got no money?
I pay you in organic veg!
Oh, lovely! What have we got?
They're a bit holey.No, they're good, honestly, trust me.
And there's a spring onion.
Yeah? Let me see if I can get you a nice...
(CHUCKLES) That's a beetroot.
It's not quite ready yet. What? Are you serious?Yeah.
They need to be a bit bigger than that.Oh.
You might want to replant them.
We'll try them again in a couple of weeks' time.Okay. Come back later.
(LAUGHS)
Enjoy your dinner. Yeah, I will do.
If there's any caterpillars in there, bring them back to me.
You know where they go. It'll give me a lot of energy.
Ready for Monday morning's work. Yeah. Yeah, there you go.
And that is one happy camper.
With the parish-council meeting around the corner,
the last thing I want to do is jeopardise my plans
for the Lake House
and it seems some folk have got a lot to say about my hole.
Some of the locals complained to the council.
The council ain't too happy about it, so what I've done is
I've emailed Chichester Council today.
I've said, "Listen, I've reinstated the hole.
"It'll be back to as it was. I'll wild-flower it, no problem."
There are deadlines and it's not a small job.
It's a massive job
and his stress levels are reaching a, sort of, breaking point.
Surely I'm allowed to dig what I want.
Oh, it's just people. They get me down, they really get me down.
One day, they'll believe that
I'm trying to do the right thing down here, you know.
Pfft. A shit show.
You know, there's not a bitter feud here or anything like that.
I've got lovely neighbours.
It's one or two people that live way out, over there.
They've got no right having a go, anyway.
But when you do something nice, you never see them.
Until you do something else that you shouldn't.
They have to ring the council behind your back.
If they came and discussed it with you, maybe you'd go,
"Oh, actually, you might have a point there."
They can't do that, though.
So me and Emma are going to the parish council.
You know, it's red tape and everything else,
but I don't see that they can stop me.
The main thing for me is they don't think,
"He thinks he's better than us. He thinks he's some celebrity here.
"He came in with his Hollywood dollars
"and he's gonna do this, that and the other."
That's what we've got to eliminate.
That's brilliant, mate. I'm sure everybody's gonna be happy.
Especially the locals. Might get the old heat off me a little bit again.
Thanks, mate. Great job. Cheers, Vinnie.Ta-ra, mate.
That is the end of the saga of the hole!
(LAUGHS)
Now fuck off and leave me alone!
Leave me alone, you bastards!
It's not just the neighbours calling me out on my recent behaviour.
He's very frustrated, snappy.
He's losing his cool.
It's a matter of just, sort of, keeping him in check.
(LAUGHS)
Hiya, hon.
What's happening, hon? So...
I know you've been getting really frustrated
and a bit cranky, because of the planning here.
There's a lot at stake at this parish-council meeting.
He can't help himself, but keep getting stuck in
and he will just cause chaos.
Yeah, I was out on my little, erm...
mischief manoeuvres, because I didn't have nothing to do.
There's not much we can do.
We're now dealing with stuff that's out of our hands.
It's frustrating, but I think it's knowing
how to sort of manage that, isn't it?Yeah. Yeah.
And you feel like you're getting overwhelmed
and it's getting a bit cranky,
it's just to, sort of, go off and just enjoy the peace.
With Emma, you know, she can tell me where I should...
round the edges of what we're doing.
She... She tells it how it is.
The farm never leaves him. It's good to get him off the farm.
It's good for him to get out into the...
into the world and see what's going on.
Shall I start now? Well...
We're all in it together, hon. Do you know what I mean?
I'll start now, love. You're right.Well, okay.
All right. See you later, then. On that note, ta-ra, love.
So, take a load off.
I'm starting now.Yeah, okay. I'll see you tomorrow.
(LAUGHS) Take your time.
Blondie is right. I need to take some time out,
because I don't want to upset any more locals
before the parish-council meeting.
Something I've been meaning to do for years is head back
to where it all started for me, my old stomping ground in Watford.
My journey has been unbelievable.
Five or six years old, playing football in Watford.
Then the fame and the celebrity and the movies.
I don't take nothing for granted.
Pfft.
That's it, son.
That's where the great... the great man was from.
There used to be a lamppost here, somewhere.
We used to play under here. Mental.
I had wonderful childhood memories and I still cherish them.
Them first 12 years of your life, that's the warmest I feel in life.
Warmer than all the football and all the acting and all the rest of it.
The house is three times bigger than what it was.
That little extension weren't on and the one round the back wasn't on it.
My mate, Pete, used to live just there.
And then Timmy lived further down.
This is all we did, play football here,
from when I was, like, four, five, six, here.
The first 12 years were just a magnificent life for me, I think,
and then the devastation of the divorce.
If a bomb falls out of the sky and blows it all up,
you've got to start again, ain't ya?
And, sometimes, it takes you a long time to start again.
And if you look at me, go through it,
the drinking and all that was numbing it.
The fighting... What was that? Did I want to get hurt?
Did I want to hurt myself? Was it self-inflicted pain?
Who knows?
But, you know, you have to... You have to recover from the bomb.
You know? You have to fill in the...
...the hole it left.
I've arranged a reunion with Pete,
one of my original crew of footy-playing pals.
The thing I like about Pete, with it all, he's been a massive...
He's been very proud.
I'm quite emotional right now, actually, I'm trying to hold it in,
Charlie, to be fair, but, erm...
Pete's been very proud, all these years, I know he has. You know?
Hello, mate! How are you, boy? I'm all right, mate. You?
Yeah. Good to see yous.
And you. Yeah.
Do you think it's all smaller?
Yeah. Everything is smaller. I think it's smaller.Yeah, yeah.
But this is where we played. All the time, all the time.
Opposite your house. We put a goal post down there.
There was a streetlight there. Yeah, and that would be the goal.
My mum used to shout out of that window.
Your mum used to come to the corner. Timmy's mum, "Timothy!"
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, that's right.
Do you remember the village fetes?
No.
The first village fete, I think, was 1972 and there was a...
They laid out a football pitch, at the bottom, there.Yeah?
There were six teams and we won it.Did we?Yeah.
You played. There were six of us.
So that would have been my first medal.Probably.Did we get medals?
Yeah. Fantastic place to grow up. We thought this was the world.
Weren't much more. There was the little shop down the corner.Yeah.
Do you remember I found that money in my old man's office?
Yeah. (LAUGHTER)
I found a load of money! It must have been the wages.
I thought, "I'll have a tenner!"
I bought whole box of Chewits and everything.I know.
I think I'd come home from school or they brought me home from school.
And why is my mum...
I saw my mum in a red mac and all the police cars were here.
The teacher had brought me home. I went, "I am in the shit."(LAUGHS)
I run down the back of your house.
And I threw it all in the back of your garden, down there.(LAUGHS)
Bloody hell. Happy days.
I tell you what, it was a two-hour drive up.
Fifty-five years sort of flashed by me a little bit.
You know?I know, mate. Brought back this and this.I know.
A bit scary, innit? It is.
I've got something for you. Bear with me a moment.Go on then, boy.
There you go, Vin.
It's me and you. Bloody hell.
Bekonscot Village.
A long time ago. That was.
Look at that. The railway. We're sitting on the little bridge there.
The train was going underneath, look.
(CHUCKLES)
Bloody hell.
(CAR DOOR SHUTS) Right.
Seeing as we used to throw our jumpers down...Yeah, yeah.
I've got you a present and I really think this is fitting
for 55 years of...
a friendship, really, you know.
This is my tracksuit top from the FA Cup Final.
Mate, that's fantastic.
Because I know you'll look after it.
I will. Now...
Oh, mate, that is fantastic.
That is so kind of you. Thank you so much, mate.
Well...Thank you.We've got to... We've got a lot of history, mate.
Yeah.And I think... You know, you were right there at the beginning.
I taught you everything you know!
Taught me everything I know, yeah. (LAUGHS)
Yeah. Absolutely. Great memories.
We've got to keep in touch.Yeah. Good to see you.Keep in touch.
Time away from the farm,
catching up with my old pal has really put things in perspective.
2 Getting away from the farm has been good and I think it's only right
I put a smile back on Blondie's face.
So I'm breathing some life back into her butterfly sanctuary.
I'm gonna brighten her up a little bit, because this was
a bit of a rough job and I'm just gonna slice a bit of VJ magic
and I'm gonna put some butterflies in there for her.
So when she comes out, she thinks she's the Butterfly Whisperer!
Get up that end, you little buggers.
Blondie!
Yes? Hon!Yeah?
I've saved your cabbage patch. What have you done?
Look at the butterflies!
Oh, my goodness! Oh, my goodness. Loads of them, look.
Look at them all feeding.
They are in their element. Well done, hon.
Right, are you gonna release them? Yeah, I can't keep them.
Be very careful, because they're so delicate.
There you are. Look, look, there they go.
Look at 'em, look at 'em.
Go free!
Yeah, they're pretty cool. Look at that!
Go on, that's it. That's what it's all about.
Well done, hon. Thank you so much.
The first thing I ever done was caught butterflies when I was a kid.
Really? Yeah. I loved it.
I know, for a fact, that those butterflies
didn't come from my caterpillars,
but I'm gonna let him think
that I think that they did,
because I know he's only doing it to make me happy.
I need to make better use of my time.
So I'm focusing on what I can do with my new lakes
that won't annoy any locals.
It's a schoolboy thing to say, "I've got my own trout river."
My own trout lake. You know? It's another boyhood dream of mine.
You know? We've actually seen one down that end.
That's about all we've seen.
The cormorants or whatever have finished them off.
So, yeah, I want to get them in here.
Let them go wild. Let them grow on all the natural insects.
I've asked Dave and his mate, Dan, at the fishery...
All right, boys? All right, Vin?
...to sort me out some prime trout for my lake.
Whoo-hoo-hoo! Two-and-a-half-year olds.
Most of the ones you're gonna be picking up are.Amazing.
This is your guys. There's just shy of 100 there.
You've got enough.Good. All right, then. Come on, Dave.
Me and Pip will watch you.
Dave, not too many of them small ones, please.
Get the bigger ones.
Ooh, there's some big boys! That's what we want.
Look at the size of them. Some of them are beauties.
Look at that brownie! How big is that, Dan?
Ah, it's the best part of 10 lb or so.
A 10 lb brownie? Whoo-hoo!
The last one.
What's that? A sardine?
Lovely. Well done, boys. We'll get these back, then.
We'll see you there. See you in a minute.
With the truck locked and loaded,
we've got to get these big boys settled and happy in their new home.
That's where they want to go to, just there.
It'll be your rainbows first.
They sit on top of the tank. Go on, then.
They want to go, look. Yeah, they want to go.
Lovely and healthy. Look at that!
Go on, you bastard!
Dave does two or three days down the trout farm.
I brought him up to do our lakes, the carp and the forestry.
Really good on his fish.
Look at that. Whoo-hoo-hoo! Ooh, that's a slab. Look at him!
Vinnie is a mentor. He's a good guiding character,
but he is also as crazy as a box of frogs.
That bastard has got his own email address, I guarantee you.
fish@eat-'em-up.com!
If you try and keep up with him, you're just gonna get caught up
in this washing machine of chaos.
But it keeps the day interesting, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Dave's in charge of the lakes here and he's already smashing it,
doing a cracking job at the grounds around it.
I'm a happy bunny. Absolutely fantastic.
There's one right over there, look. See him?Mmm-hmm.
They've really gone, they've really taken to this beautifully.
And to see what we've done... In what? A year?Mmm-hmm.
Next year, it'll be even better, but this is just the start of it.
Cheers, son.
There are always lads that are, you know, sort of, not so secure,
in what they do and say and they're, sort of, a little bit stand-back.
Dave is a little bit like that.
Dave lost his dad at a young age.
You know? And that can derail anybody.
I knew he was a lad in need of an arm around him.
I really do think he's found a bit of a family here.
You're doing a good job, mate. All your hard work is paying off.
I mean, we've done a year now, haven't we?Yeah.
You go back 12 months and it was barren here.
I mean, this is your baby.Yeah. I mean, that's why I brought you in.
You're getting to a good stage in your life now,
where you're getting stability.
You're happy? Yeah, I'm happy.
That's good, mate. Yeah, I can see where I'm going now.
You feel like you've got a bit of a base?Yeah.
I just couldn't settle. I'd just bounce around the country,
from one place to another and I feel like I'm, I'm there now.
That's great. And, you know, Dave,
I done exactly the same, when I was younger.
When I left home, I left home at 15. And I feel for you, mate.
I was on different couches, different beds,
sleeping in the van, you know, I went through that.
So, you know, you don't want that for other people.
As long as we've got each other's backs.
You ain't had that for a long time.
I can tell. Now you've got people that have got your back.
I'm doing my best to do right by the locals,
but tonight is finally D-Day at the parish-council meeting.
Any objections and it could really throw a spanner in the works.
I would imagine he is quite nervous, yeah.
Make or break his plans, I guess.
Oh, look at 'em all, look. There's only about 10 people who live here.
There is a lot at stake here.
You have to be born and bred and have generations
to really be accepted in small communities out in the countryside.
I want to be part of the community and I want to do it nicely.
There's a few cars here. I've never seen so many cars here.
I think this is the big excitement of the year!
Please don't have any punch-ups, will you?
What, with 80-year-old geezers? No.
It's a huge stage to get to, in the proceedings, so, yeah,
the parish-council meeting is a big deal
and it's very tense.
I want to go to the parish council and say, "Look, we are human.
"We just want to get this done
"and put another 100 years on this beautiful building."
To be part of the community with your neighbours,
people get to really see the real Vinnie,
how he isn't the big, bad wolf or whatever it is that they think.
I think, if you humanise yourself and they see
that you've actually got skin like them and a nose and two eyes,
it breaks down a lot of barriers.
Was that it? Yeah.
Thank you. Thanks, everyone. Thank you.
So, I couldn't really hear it, but they kind of said, "Any objections?
"Any questions?" And everyone said no.No.
They're happy about it.Oh, good. Thanks, Jan.Thank you so much.
Still waiting for my flapjacks! Lots of love.That was good.
Yeah, no objections. All fine, really.
A really fun night out, actually. I've enjoyed it.
Yay!It's been really good. That's how our, our life has got to.
(LAUGHS) That I am just thrilled. A little parish-council night out!
I thought there'd be a lot more people and like, "Oi, this, that."
Objecting.It was kind of like waiting for the bang
and it never happened.
It's really broke the ice for us. Yeah.I think.
Now we've found our new hobby.
No, we haven't.
It's not just the parish council moving things
onwards and upwards for me.
See that, with the H? Look.
My lads have finally finished the helipad.
Looks really smart. We have a lot of visitors land here.
Boom, away you go.
That is the ultimate.
My launch pad being the final piece to the farm's puzzle,
it's time to call a meeting with Blondie for some new ideas.
There she is!There you are. There's Blondie.What are you doing?
Just having a cup of tea. And admiring the new kitchen.
Yeah, it looks nice, doesn't it? It looks really good.
So we're done. So this is... Yeah.This is finished.
I'm just, I'm just sitting here, thinking.
Dangerous!Yeah, I know, but, no, I think I'm kinda there.
I want to have a little get-together.
Yeah.All the people that have helped us. All our friends.
Yeah.They can all come and see all the new kitchen,
the bathrooms, the whole lot.
All the new facilities that really...
All right, Mick? All right, Mick?
Thinking about having a little get-together.
What do you think?
Next week!
Me.Vinnie.I just threw it, literally, as you walked in.
Well, if you want to do that, I'm well up for it.
Get a little band, have a little shindig.Yeah.
Get some bales out there. Get Goat on the barbecue.
So what I'm thinking is that we do,
sort of, like, a bit of a cowboy theme.
That'd be hilarious. Would it?
Got a bar, got a kitchen.
We can celebrate all the work that's been done here.
That's it. This farm is done!
Don't buy any more farms.
Yeah, there is that... There is that property at the back of... that one.
No! That needs buying, I think.
No, let's just enjoy this.
But, with just a few days till my little shindig,
Wobbly has still got some last-minute fixes
on the new toilets.
When I hung this door, these rubbers weren't in,
so I've just got to adjust this keep a bit, so it shuts a bit tighter.
I'm pleased with the way they've turned out.
Turned out quite nicely, haven't they? When we started, it was just
an old, shitty shed, really, wasn't it?
I'm still not a fan of the colour, I won't lie.
But, yeah, all good.
(CLICKS SHUT) That's got it.
It's always just by the skin of my teeth.
I just meet these deadlines.
INTERVIEWER: Feeling confident? Toilets, kitchen, ready to roll?
As long as nobody uses them, yeah! (LAUGHS)
2 It's the morning of my Wild West party.
In just a few hours, I've got 50 guests rocking up
and there's a tonne of jobs still to do.
I'm counting on my band of cowboys to pull together...
Greetings! ...and get my ranch ready.
Wobbly!
Hello, Wobbly.I can't hear you. Do you like this?
I can't hear you, Emma.Hello! Can you shout a little bit louder?
Do you like this? What have you got it for?
Basically, for lots of shouting. Today, I'm answering to a new boss?
Yes.You're the new sheriff in town. There's a new sheriff.Right, okay.
Lovely. Good.
So, today, you're on welly-wanging. I've been doing it all week!
But go on.Thank you, Wobbly, Chief Welly-Wanger!
The party prep is stepping up a gear and with plenty of hands on deck...
It looks very good, actually, doesn't it? It looks lovely.
...there's only one thing for it.
Do one and escape from the madness.
Right, who else? Dave, where... Where are you going?
Especially Blondie and that megaphone.
Is everybody working?
This is, like, the ultimate hare field.
A few months back, I planted wildflower seeds
and turned 40 acres into the perfect playground for brown hares.
Look at them flowers.
Look at them sunflowers coming up. Beautiful!
With our hare population dwindling, this area of flowers and crops
has given these animals a place to thrive.
So that, for me, is a beautiful back garden.
For me and all the animals, the insects, the birds, the mammals.
We've got maize in the background.
You know, the cover for them there.
Look at these seeds. Look at this.
Look. And that will see them right through this winter.
And it'll be saving their lives.
Look, look, there's a kite up there now. Look. See it?
Something has come out of this field and gone in there, in the cover.
It can't find it, so we might have saved a hare or a partridge.
That has proved that we're doing our best.
When I walk up here and I see five, six, seven hares run out,
I'm doing my job and my hare population, I would say,
has gone from five or six to 50 or 60.
Magnificent.
(LAUGHS)
Back at base, while my back has been turned,
the new sheriff has taken over the ranch.
Figure of eight. And drop.
That looks amazing!
And I can't dodge her any longer.
(FIDDLE DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
I'd put that in the fridge next door.Yeah.
Hon!
(THROUGH MEGAPHONE) Hon!
Yes, hon, I'm afraid there's a new sheriff in town!
It's about time you paid attention, cowboy!
Hon, if I didn't fancy you, I do now.
And I've got a whip!
Here's my gun.
Do you approve?Well, let's just send everybody home right now!
The stage is set for a right good knees-up.
With all of us dressed the part... Yes!
...it's time to celebrate everything we've done on the farm this year.
Oh! Bull's-eye!
The lads have all come in and they've smashed it.
I'm absolutely chuffed to bits, now that we're finally there,
putting the old seal of approval on it.
Ooh-ya! (SHRIEKS)
Oh! Uhh.
Oh, that's miles!
Oh, I'm having a whale of a time. Come on then, Wobbs!
You are gonna wobble. Look at him!
Oh, he's stripping off! Hold on.
(CROWD CHEERING) Yee-haw!
Right, Wobbly!
(MORE CHEERING)
Whoa! Whoo!
Cor blimey.
Aaaah! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
(LAUGHS)
That's 27 seconds Wobbs has got to beat.
Oh, that's hard. All right, innit?
(LAUGHTER)
(CROWD CHEERING) Ha ha ha!
Wobbly, innit hard?
It's hard. (LAUGHS)
Come on!
Come on. He's going. Wobbly!
Go on! Stay on, Wobbs!
27! A draw!
Come on, Wobbs.
Hon, make the bed up in the spare room tonight.(CHUCKLES)
Go on, hon! (SHRIEKS)
(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)
2 (JAUNTY DANCE TUNE)
It's been a long summer.
The barbecue is now open!
As I look around my band of cowboys,
I couldn't be prouder of all my gang
and all they've got done on the farm.
I don't know how we've got to here, to be honest, but we have.
Somehow, we've done it. A lot of money gone into it.
A lot of blood, sweat and tears.
But I'm really pleased that we've accomplished
everything we wanted to.
The reason we're all here today,
really, is just to say a massive thank you to everybody.
Me and Emma have, sort of, gone on this crusade
to get this farm finished, with Wobbs
and everybody else that's helped us along the way.
Jan, Goat, Big George. People, you're all important.
We've done a beautiful staff room, if you like.
We want this to be a place where all you lads
can come and chat to each other.
The kettle is always on. Always someone there to talk to.
Now this is done, we're ready to rock and roll. You're all part of it
and we'll move on to the next project.
Thanks, everybody, for coming. Have a great time. Thanks, everyone.
Well done, hon.
Can I just say something quickly? Hold on!
Hang on. I really would love your honest opinion
on the colour of the toilets.
Me and him have got a bet. It's either a yes or a no. Okay?
Let the Wild West shoot-out begin!
Oh, Johnny, up or down?
Oh, Wobbly! Wobbs, you're struggling.
I think it looks fucking hideous, personally.
Oh, Simon?
No! Come on. Oh, my God. Another one!
Wobbly! Oh, my God!
Come on. Wobbly, one for you. Undecided.
Jan, thank you. You saved the day.
Just no.No. I'd rather green. Yeah, so do I.
Yes, Goaty, yes!
Goat, good lad.
Come over here and join the thumbs-downs.
It's a clear victory for my pink team.
That's rock and roll, baby. Don't go against rock and roll.
Winner, chicken dinner, I'm afraid, son.
You know what the good thing is? At least I ain't got to repaint it.
(LAUGHTER) Yeah! Yeah.
It's more than just a work space for a lot of people.
It's not like a normal working site, put it that way.
It's... It runs a little bit deeper, I would say.
DAVE: I've never had a place to talk about stuff going on.
It's somewhere we're all mates, we can talk about whatever we want.
We can have a joke and then we get on with our day.
(FIDDLE DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
One, two, three!
I look around this place now and I go, "I can't believe it."
I mean, no one can believe it. Wobbly's worked his arse off.
I mean, I think it's a much, much harder season for him
this year than last year.
You know, he gets it done. He's like me.
I mean, he smashed it.
He is a pleasure to work for. We have our moments,
but he has got a big heart and he does care about other people
and what they feel and how they're feeling.
I think Emma has changed him dramatically.
He seems in a lot happier space than what he was.
With Emma, you know, we get on fantastic.
She's great fun to be around. With what we've been through
and everything, you need fun in your life.
I'm a bit older than her. I like a bit of pipe and slippers.
But she can hold on the rocket. I think that's the secret.
(DANCE MUSIC ENDS) (CHEERING)
(BIRD WARBLES)
(BIRDSONG)
It's the morning after the night before
and I'm waking up to some long-awaited news.
(PHONE RINGS) Ooh. Here we go.
Right now, with the Lake House, all our ducks are in a row.
All the council stuff is all done and in.
We're just waiting for the stamps of approval, really.
Fantastic. Awesome.
Okay. Well done, Alex.
Boom. Thank you.
That's it. That's the green light we've been waiting for, boys.
I won't say I'm smug about it, but I'm like, "Yes!"
It really has paid off. The patience. Take your time.
And now, finally, yes. Thank you, Lord.
Months of paperwork, meetings
and consultations have led to this moment.
It's been a long process, but now, all of a sudden,
it's kicked into gear and things are slotting in nicely.
Bloody love it. Look at this, Pip.
Here we go.
A planning notice.
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
(READS) Notice is hereby given.
It's all looking good. That's massive progress for me.
This is great. I'm really pleased.
How about that, Piparoony?
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Only my right-hand man to tell now.
Right, Wobbs, awesome news.
(SAW OFF) The planning notices have gone up down the lakes.
Oh, lovely. Good. Getting somewhere, then?Yes!
Oh, thank God. It's great, but it's not. When you're working here,
you're never finished.
If you're not off with your mates making millions, come back.
I ain't making millions, when I can come here, work for a pittance.Yes.
Slave labour.Yes. Yeah.All right?
I'll see you next year.Okay. All right.Okay.
Oh, I'm done! (SQUEALS)
Ah, we did it. We did it!
What do you mean "we"?Well... Steady on!
Yeah, but I kept you going throughout.Did you?
Yeah.Okay.And kept you sane, didn't I?You did, hon.Yeah.
With the builders packed up,
it's time to make good on my promise and teach Blondie to fish.
Hold it there, nicely. With the other hand.
(GIGGLES) Yeah, that's it.
Got it?
Now look at it. Watch it. Look. Look.Okay. It bobbed.See it?Yeah.
It's moving. Something has got it. Look.
It'll go under in a minute. Watch, watch!
Take your time.
Oh, you're on, hon. Oh! Oh!
Oh, a little baby one. Turn it...
Where are you going?Oh. Come here.
Bring your rod down. Well done.
Good catch, hon. Thank you.
Look at him, look. Aw.
Cor, the maggot is nearly as big as him, the little rascal.
A beautiful little carp. They're gonna end up big monsters.
Oh! So that's my first fish I've ever caught.
That's pretty impressive.
We've got to do more fishing next year.Yeah.
This is nice.
Does anything stand out,
over the summer that you didn't expect?
Not expect, but... Any highlights?Yeah.
The boys.Yeah.Having the grandchildren was fantastic.
We can build on that now.
We've got that pontoon, get them fishing.
If you had to summarise this summer in one word, what would it be?
Er...
In one word? Yeah.
That's hard.
Erm, I would have to say...
...tranquil.
Really?Yeah. I don't think it was as nutty as it could have been.
Well, you know why.
Waiting for the planning.
Yeah, so, actually...We were... ...it's not been a bad thing.
So you've, basically, learnt patience.
A bit of patience.
We've still got loads going on. I'm still swinging.
But do you think you've learnt to, sort of, take more of a pause,
maybe, this summer? No.
What are you talking about? It's been nuts.You have.
You know, I'm not soppy enough to say,
"Oh, yeah, I've really calmed down, I've really..."
Bollocks. What a load of bollocks.
I still crack on and I'm on my rocket and I'm smashing on.
And just you wait till I get my hands on that Lake House.
The first job is to buy a 16-tonne digger.
And I'm gonna get down there and get smashing.
It's gonna be exciting, isn't it?
To finally...Yeah. ...get going on this.Yeah.
It's been a long time in the making.
This year? Tranquil. Looking at that...
a shit show next year, a shit show.
And then we're back. And we're back!
How would you sum up this summer, then?
I think I'd say it's been emotional.
(LAUGHS) You turd!
What a turd!
There is one more thing.
BOTH: It's been emotional.
(HUMS THEME SONG) (LAUGHS)
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