1 00:04:23,729 --> 00:04:24,562 What? 2 00:04:27,828 --> 00:04:28,661 Hi. 3 00:04:54,071 --> 00:04:54,904 Wait. 4 00:05:10,253 --> 00:05:12,292 What's your name? 5 00:05:12,292 --> 00:05:14,914 Why? 6 00:05:14,914 --> 00:05:17,411 Why do you wanna know my name? 7 00:05:17,411 --> 00:05:20,362 Just so I know what to call you. 8 00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:21,945 When... - When what? 9 00:05:24,091 --> 00:05:27,431 When we talk. That's what I mean. 10 00:05:27,431 --> 00:05:31,098 Is that what you wanna do? Talk. 11 00:05:32,377 --> 00:05:33,210 Maybe. 12 00:05:34,939 --> 00:05:36,464 - [Unknown] Talking might be nice. 13 00:05:37,461 --> 00:05:39,211 I mean, we could do other things. 14 00:05:40,341 --> 00:05:42,031 Your heart is beating quickly. 15 00:06:41,164 --> 00:06:41,997 Drink. 16 00:06:45,774 --> 00:06:47,607 Aren't you drinking? 17 00:06:48,502 --> 00:06:49,585 Yes. Later. 18 00:06:53,084 --> 00:06:56,063 Don't I get to order my own drink? 19 00:06:56,063 --> 00:06:56,896 No. 20 00:07:16,419 --> 00:07:17,252 Drink. 21 00:07:22,741 --> 00:07:24,101 I think I'd rather order my own drink. 22 00:07:25,131 --> 00:07:26,174 Drink it. 23 00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:31,104 I, I, I don't know you. 24 00:07:32,571 --> 00:07:33,651 What if... 25 00:07:33,651 --> 00:07:34,734 What if I? 26 00:07:36,918 --> 00:07:38,481 Drugged me? 27 00:07:38,481 --> 00:07:40,914 - I did. - What? 28 00:07:42,111 --> 00:07:42,944 I drugged it. 29 00:07:44,091 --> 00:07:47,844 Something very special. Now drink it. 30 00:07:54,441 --> 00:07:55,914 Wait. Hold on. 31 00:07:58,927 --> 00:08:00,411 Okay. 32 00:08:00,411 --> 00:08:01,464 I'm holding on. 33 00:08:04,041 --> 00:08:05,094 Now listen to me. 34 00:08:06,891 --> 00:08:10,254 You were meant to come here, to find me. 35 00:08:11,511 --> 00:08:16,254 That's all that matters. That's all you were ever born for. 36 00:08:17,181 --> 00:08:20,278 To be here with me right now. 37 00:08:23,369 --> 00:08:24,202 Now drink. 38 00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:36,392 Drink. 39 00:09:00,239 --> 00:09:02,322 What was in that drink? 40 00:09:03,298 --> 00:09:04,798 I was. My blood. 41 00:09:07,696 --> 00:09:08,696 Your what? 42 00:09:13,047 --> 00:09:14,714 How'd you like it? 43 00:09:16,494 --> 00:09:17,577 I liked it. 44 00:10:34,105 --> 00:10:35,688 Is something wrong? 45 00:10:36,934 --> 00:10:40,101 Everything's perfect, just like you! 46 00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:44,961 And now it's time for episode 225 47 00:11:44,961 --> 00:11:49,908 of Alexander's "Church of Chills." 48 00:11:51,881 --> 00:11:56,179 Watch in horror, as we reveal ghosts, 49 00:11:57,891 --> 00:12:02,211 monsters, new roots, 50 00:12:02,211 --> 00:12:05,391 and the walking dead. 51 00:12:07,724 --> 00:12:12,081 Welcome to Alexander's "Church of Chills," episode 225. 52 00:12:12,081 --> 00:12:16,761 Alexander Jarvis here, along with my grisly gals, 53 00:12:16,761 --> 00:12:20,664 Edwina and Juniper. 54 00:12:22,024 --> 00:12:24,831 Click like, subscribe. Join our Patreon page. 55 00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:27,141 Smash those buttons. 56 00:12:27,141 --> 00:12:28,371 This episode... 57 00:12:28,371 --> 00:12:30,921 Death in the Rat House. 58 00:12:30,921 --> 00:12:32,181 And... 59 00:12:32,181 --> 00:12:34,641 Haunted baby hands in Evermount Hospital. 60 00:12:34,641 --> 00:12:39,040 Ooh, and the man who ate his family. 61 00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:41,121 With recipes. 62 00:12:41,121 --> 00:12:44,551 It's "Church of Chills." 63 00:12:48,621 --> 00:12:50,421 Okay. And cut. 64 00:12:50,421 --> 00:12:52,401 Wanna do another one? 65 00:12:52,401 --> 00:12:53,331 Why? 66 00:12:53,331 --> 00:12:57,381 - For safety. - Maybe we can make it better. 67 00:12:57,381 --> 00:13:02,381 Seriously, who do I look like to you? Stanley Kubrick. 68 00:13:02,721 --> 00:13:05,721 No, not even slightly. 69 00:13:05,721 --> 00:13:07,311 Thank God. 70 00:13:07,311 --> 00:13:09,291 Alright, finish it up. Send it out. 71 00:13:09,291 --> 00:13:10,971 You check the feed. 72 00:13:10,971 --> 00:13:12,834 I'm gonna start work on 226. 73 00:13:15,111 --> 00:13:18,204 After I take a piss, 'cause that's how I roll. 74 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:22,701 Well, good luck. 75 00:13:32,991 --> 00:13:34,991 Okay. You girls ready? 76 00:13:34,991 --> 00:13:36,891 Yeah? All right, let's get this down. 77 00:13:36,891 --> 00:13:38,751 All right. Okay. 78 00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:39,951 Juniper start recording. 79 00:13:42,261 --> 00:13:44,391 Okay. This is "Church of Chills," 80 00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:49,391 episode 226, segment three, prerecord rehearsal. 81 00:13:49,516 --> 00:13:51,621 The vile vivisectionist. 82 00:13:51,621 --> 00:13:52,481 And... 83 00:13:56,241 --> 00:13:57,681 The next terrifying tidbit 84 00:13:57,681 --> 00:14:01,408 straight out of Victorian history is called 85 00:14:01,408 --> 00:14:03,074 Dr. Jonas Hope, 86 00:14:03,074 --> 00:14:06,231 the vile vivisectionist of St. Pancras Hospital. 87 00:14:06,231 --> 00:14:08,961 Back then, doctors didn't know that they needed 88 00:14:08,961 --> 00:14:11,001 to wash their hands before surgery. 89 00:14:11,001 --> 00:14:13,464 And the most, well-known butcher, 90 00:14:14,931 --> 00:14:17,544 I mean surgeon, was Dr. Jonas Hope. 91 00:14:22,281 --> 00:14:24,681 This guy loved nothing better than spending his days 92 00:14:24,681 --> 00:14:26,991 chopping off poor people's arms and legs. 93 00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:29,064 Well, everybody needs a hobby. 94 00:14:30,231 --> 00:14:33,741 But then one day a patient came in 95 00:14:33,741 --> 00:14:36,291 who had been freshly crushed under a falling brick wall. 96 00:14:36,291 --> 00:14:39,141 - Oops. - I'll say. Ooh. 97 00:14:39,141 --> 00:14:41,661 The doctor proceeds to cut off 98 00:14:41,661 --> 00:14:44,361 both of this poor guy's arms and legs. 99 00:14:44,361 --> 00:14:47,031 Of course, without benefit of anesthesia. 100 00:14:47,031 --> 00:14:49,011 And he survives. 101 00:14:49,011 --> 00:14:52,941 And then a demented light dawns on the doctor. 102 00:14:52,941 --> 00:14:55,071 Okay, hold on. Hold on. 103 00:14:55,071 --> 00:14:56,331 Wait. Cut. 104 00:14:56,331 --> 00:14:57,201 Cut, cut. 105 00:14:57,201 --> 00:14:59,121 Oh, come. Jesus Christ. 106 00:14:59,121 --> 00:15:00,608 Stop recording, Junie. 107 00:15:02,181 --> 00:15:07,181 First of all, I am the only one who gets to call cut here. 108 00:15:07,431 --> 00:15:10,193 That's not true. I call cut all the time. 109 00:15:10,193 --> 00:15:14,001 Yeah, yeah, you sure do. 110 00:15:14,001 --> 00:15:16,521 But you're not supposed to. Alright? 111 00:15:16,521 --> 00:15:18,441 The director calls cut, the director. 112 00:15:18,441 --> 00:15:19,731 Me, I'm the director. 113 00:15:19,731 --> 00:15:22,371 And guess what? The director calls cut. 114 00:15:22,371 --> 00:15:23,871 Really? Since when? 115 00:15:23,871 --> 00:15:25,401 Since when? Since always. 116 00:15:25,401 --> 00:15:26,234 That's the rule. 117 00:15:26,234 --> 00:15:27,351 The director calls cut. 118 00:15:27,351 --> 00:15:30,501 No, she means since when are you... 119 00:15:30,501 --> 00:15:34,911 Is this what you're doing here? 120 00:15:34,911 --> 00:15:37,461 Does this make you the director? 121 00:15:37,461 --> 00:15:39,171 That is what you mean, isn't it Junie? 122 00:15:39,171 --> 00:15:41,331 Well, actually, I was referring 123 00:15:41,331 --> 00:15:44,271 to the general role of a director, but sure. 124 00:15:44,271 --> 00:15:46,161 Yeah. Whatever. Let's go with that. 125 00:15:46,161 --> 00:15:47,301 Okay, well, why don't we go with 126 00:15:47,301 --> 00:15:48,921 my interpretation of your remarks? 127 00:15:48,921 --> 00:15:49,881 No, no, no. 128 00:15:49,881 --> 00:15:51,081 How about we go with the fact 129 00:15:51,081 --> 00:15:53,661 that I created the show and my name is on it. 130 00:15:53,661 --> 00:15:54,494 Alex! 131 00:15:54,494 --> 00:15:55,488 - And the fact that you two- - Alex! 132 00:15:55,488 --> 00:15:58,191 You work for me, and I am the director, 133 00:15:58,191 --> 00:16:00,561 and I'm the one who gets to call cut. 134 00:16:00,561 --> 00:16:02,241 - Alex. - What? 135 00:16:02,241 --> 00:16:05,211 Why don't you just ask Eddie why she called cut? 136 00:16:05,211 --> 00:16:07,074 Because I know why Eddie cold cut. 137 00:16:08,061 --> 00:16:08,961 - Really? - Yeah. 138 00:16:10,341 --> 00:16:12,282 You wanna bet on that? 139 00:16:12,282 --> 00:16:14,481 What are you willing to bet? 140 00:16:14,481 --> 00:16:15,864 Hmm. Light of my life. 141 00:16:17,961 --> 00:16:20,391 The criterion collection of your Jess Sprango DVDs. 142 00:16:20,391 --> 00:16:21,771 Are you kidding me? I wouldn't bet that. 143 00:16:21,771 --> 00:16:23,781 Oh! Dammit. 144 00:16:23,781 --> 00:16:25,371 Okay, so how about this? 145 00:16:25,371 --> 00:16:26,861 No more calling cut... 146 00:16:30,591 --> 00:16:31,524 for this episode. 147 00:16:34,101 --> 00:16:35,721 - Deal. - Okay, great. 148 00:16:35,721 --> 00:16:37,641 Wait, what happens if I win? 149 00:16:37,641 --> 00:16:39,594 You girls can have everything I own. 150 00:16:41,181 --> 00:16:44,331 Okay. No, no, wait, that's a trick. 151 00:16:44,331 --> 00:16:46,531 You don't actually own anything, you fucker. 152 00:16:47,691 --> 00:16:49,251 Okay, so what then? 153 00:16:49,251 --> 00:16:51,066 You've gotta be nice to us. 154 00:16:55,551 --> 00:16:56,964 Wait for how long? 155 00:16:57,831 --> 00:16:58,704 Forever. 156 00:16:59,841 --> 00:17:01,191 Seriously. 157 00:17:01,191 --> 00:17:02,064 A week. 158 00:17:06,711 --> 00:17:09,354 Okay, but just hold on a second. Okay. 159 00:17:23,481 --> 00:17:24,381 What is this? 160 00:17:24,381 --> 00:17:26,184 That is why Eddie called cut. 161 00:17:28,611 --> 00:17:30,174 You are a independent arbiter. 162 00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,834 Smile when you call me that, stranger. 163 00:17:36,411 --> 00:17:37,944 You may proceed. 164 00:17:39,261 --> 00:17:41,034 Finally. Thank you. 165 00:17:44,001 --> 00:17:46,671 I wanted to point out that there were around two paragraphs 166 00:17:46,671 --> 00:17:48,741 missing about how patients were treated in those wards. 167 00:17:48,741 --> 00:17:50,361 That was all great stuff. 168 00:17:50,361 --> 00:17:52,131 Yeah, yeah. It really is. 169 00:17:52,131 --> 00:17:55,824 As indeed all of your stuff is, Eddie. You're brilliant. 170 00:17:56,721 --> 00:18:00,141 But the show, it's coming in long 171 00:18:00,141 --> 00:18:01,401 and it's gotta come in on time. 172 00:18:01,401 --> 00:18:04,761 And one of us has to be an adult here. Right? 173 00:18:04,761 --> 00:18:08,244 And, and you my love. You don't make cuts. 174 00:18:10,551 --> 00:18:12,234 Junie, please. 175 00:18:17,391 --> 00:18:20,024 Eddie's going to bitch about the ward material being cut. 176 00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:22,934 There it is. 177 00:18:23,841 --> 00:18:28,371 So much for having to be nice to you two bitches. 178 00:18:28,371 --> 00:18:31,041 Don't gimme that sourpuss Look, Eddie. 179 00:18:31,041 --> 00:18:36,041 Now let's reset for take two, without any calling cuts. 180 00:19:20,150 --> 00:19:25,150 And now, it's time for Alexander's "Church of Chills." 181 00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:31,371 The next terrifying tidbit, 182 00:19:31,371 --> 00:19:34,191 straight out of Victorian history, is called... 183 00:19:34,191 --> 00:19:37,101 Dr. Jonas Hope, the vile vivisectionist 184 00:19:37,101 --> 00:19:38,814 of St. Pancreas Hospital. 185 00:19:40,041 --> 00:19:42,681 See, back then, doctors didn't understand that they needed 186 00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:45,231 to wash their hands before surgery. 187 00:19:45,231 --> 00:19:48,624 And the most infamous butcher, 188 00:19:49,941 --> 00:19:53,031 surgeon, was Dr. Jonah Hope. 189 00:19:53,031 --> 00:19:55,581 This guy loved nothing better than chopping off 190 00:19:55,581 --> 00:19:57,351 poor people's arms and legs. 191 00:19:57,351 --> 00:19:59,334 Well, everybody needs a hobby. 192 00:20:00,711 --> 00:20:03,621 One day, a patient had come in who had been crushed 193 00:20:03,621 --> 00:20:05,151 by a falling brick wall. 194 00:20:05,151 --> 00:20:07,614 - Oops. - I'll say. Ooh. 195 00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:11,271 Dr. Jonas proceeded to cut off 196 00:20:11,271 --> 00:20:15,111 both of this poor guy's arms and legs. 197 00:20:15,111 --> 00:20:17,961 Of course, without benefit of anesthesia. 198 00:20:17,961 --> 00:20:19,494 And he survives. 199 00:20:20,511 --> 00:20:23,871 And then, suddenly, 200 00:20:23,871 --> 00:20:27,141 a demented light dawned on the doctor. 201 00:20:27,141 --> 00:20:29,871 He began to wonder just how much he could remove 202 00:20:29,871 --> 00:20:34,344 from a human being and have that patient survive. 203 00:20:34,344 --> 00:20:36,471 What? 204 00:20:36,471 --> 00:20:41,304 He had plenty of raw material, a hospital full of it. 205 00:20:42,471 --> 00:20:44,751 The good doctor selected patients to bring 206 00:20:44,751 --> 00:20:48,651 to his special ward downstairs in his basement 207 00:20:48,651 --> 00:20:52,581 where he conducted his diabolical experiments. 208 00:20:52,581 --> 00:20:54,081 And as for the screams. 209 00:20:54,081 --> 00:20:58,101 Well, there were always screams coming from St. Pancras. 210 00:20:58,101 --> 00:21:02,271 But all good things and some horrible ones come to an end. 211 00:21:02,271 --> 00:21:05,121 About 10 years later, some busy bodies 212 00:21:05,121 --> 00:21:06,951 started to ask questions. 213 00:21:06,951 --> 00:21:09,291 And when they went to ask Dr. Hope these questions, 214 00:21:09,291 --> 00:21:12,381 he disappeared. 215 00:21:12,381 --> 00:21:14,511 So they cut the heavy locks of that door 216 00:21:14,511 --> 00:21:16,341 and headed down into that basement. 217 00:21:16,341 --> 00:21:18,894 And what did they find down there? 218 00:21:19,791 --> 00:21:22,881 At first, what they found 219 00:21:22,881 --> 00:21:26,034 didn't seem to be living at all, let alone human. 220 00:21:27,051 --> 00:21:32,051 They more resembled lines of damp leather bags 221 00:21:33,561 --> 00:21:36,381 with tubes coming from them leading to bottles. 222 00:21:36,381 --> 00:21:39,111 Tubes to bring in food and remove waste. 223 00:21:39,111 --> 00:21:40,971 What were in those sacks? 224 00:21:40,971 --> 00:21:43,581 Just a brain, bits of skull. 225 00:21:43,581 --> 00:21:48,561 But no jaw, no tongue, 226 00:21:48,561 --> 00:21:53,559 no eyes, no ears, no skeleton, 227 00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:58,221 no muscles, just a few essential organs laced together. 228 00:21:58,221 --> 00:22:00,471 God knows what those brains were thinking. 229 00:22:00,471 --> 00:22:01,611 Oh. 230 00:22:01,611 --> 00:22:06,611 And the doctor succeeded no less than 33 times. 231 00:22:10,551 --> 00:22:12,744 But what about Dr. Hope? Where was he? 232 00:22:13,671 --> 00:22:17,121 As it turns out, Dr. Hope had been using a cess pit 233 00:22:17,121 --> 00:22:20,151 to dispose of his discarded limbs. 234 00:22:20,151 --> 00:22:21,771 When searchers closed in, 235 00:22:21,771 --> 00:22:25,041 he'd attempted to use it as an escape route. 236 00:22:25,041 --> 00:22:26,991 He didn't get very far. 237 00:22:26,991 --> 00:22:29,904 They found him down there, what was left of him. 238 00:22:31,011 --> 00:22:32,511 And of course, they couldn't explain 239 00:22:32,511 --> 00:22:34,941 the condition of the doctor's body. 240 00:22:34,941 --> 00:22:38,994 The fact that it appeared as if it had been torn, 241 00:22:40,041 --> 00:22:44,511 beaten, strangled, 242 00:22:44,511 --> 00:22:48,704 and by many groping hands. 243 00:22:49,941 --> 00:22:51,681 Nor could anyone explain 244 00:22:51,681 --> 00:22:54,923 the look of stark terror on Dr. Hope's face. 245 00:23:12,291 --> 00:23:14,451 What's the word that sounds like repugnant. 246 00:23:14,451 --> 00:23:18,731 But it means that you don't want to, um, you know... 247 00:23:20,303 --> 00:23:22,254 Um... - Reprehensible. 248 00:23:24,051 --> 00:23:29,038 Rep-re-hens. I would've thought of it, but thank you. 249 00:24:20,834 --> 00:24:22,417 - Hey, Alex. - What? 250 00:24:23,706 --> 00:24:24,741 Take a look at this. 251 00:24:24,741 --> 00:24:25,641 There's a video that's got over 252 00:24:25,641 --> 00:24:28,584 half a million hits since yesterday and growing. 253 00:24:35,378 --> 00:24:37,581 Oh, yeah. Well, good for them. 254 00:24:37,581 --> 00:24:39,291 Yours truly is not in the market 255 00:24:39,291 --> 00:24:42,351 of sending traffic to somebody else's bullshit website. 256 00:24:42,351 --> 00:24:45,251 Yeah. We've got our own bullshit website to worry about. 257 00:24:51,291 --> 00:24:53,754 He's got good taste though. She is cute. 258 00:24:54,981 --> 00:24:58,314 What? We never put up anything that's fake. 259 00:24:59,241 --> 00:25:03,321 Of course we do. Bigfoot, found alien footage. 260 00:25:03,321 --> 00:25:06,801 All that shit is fake. So this, this is different. 261 00:25:06,801 --> 00:25:09,769 It's viral marketing. You can tell. 262 00:25:09,769 --> 00:25:12,714 Oh, okay. Let me just do this. 263 00:25:14,991 --> 00:25:17,091 Yeah, see? There. 264 00:25:17,091 --> 00:25:19,881 How convenient, the name of the dumb ass S and M club 265 00:25:19,881 --> 00:25:21,741 right there for everybody to see. 266 00:25:21,741 --> 00:25:24,425 A drink, a blowjob and a mojito. 267 00:25:25,791 --> 00:25:26,634 How scary. 268 00:25:28,791 --> 00:25:30,171 Have you ever been to one of these clubs, Junie? 269 00:25:30,171 --> 00:25:31,701 Seriously? 270 00:25:31,701 --> 00:25:35,181 It's, it's like trying to go to a nude beach. 271 00:25:35,181 --> 00:25:38,331 You expect "Sports Illustrated," 272 00:25:38,331 --> 00:25:43,288 but you get, well, people like me. 273 00:25:43,288 --> 00:25:45,771 Ew. Yuck. 274 00:25:45,771 --> 00:25:47,691 Yeah, thanks. 275 00:25:47,691 --> 00:25:49,761 The point is, that's fucking staged. 276 00:25:49,761 --> 00:25:52,491 We could use some of those nice juicy hits. 277 00:25:52,491 --> 00:25:53,721 I'm telling you that this sort 278 00:25:53,721 --> 00:25:55,371 of thing flows the other way. 279 00:25:55,371 --> 00:25:58,701 It sucks our viewers to them, not the other way around. 280 00:25:58,701 --> 00:26:03,024 Now, sugar pie, honey bunch, can we please get back to work? 281 00:26:04,821 --> 00:26:07,483 And don't give me that sourpuss look. 282 00:27:21,971 --> 00:27:24,308 What? 283 00:27:24,308 --> 00:27:28,191 Eddie, go get Alex. I need you to go get Alex. 284 00:27:28,191 --> 00:27:29,034 He's asleep. 285 00:27:29,871 --> 00:27:30,704 What's going on? 286 00:27:33,591 --> 00:27:35,041 He's asleep. What's going on? 287 00:27:43,719 --> 00:27:44,802 Is this live? 288 00:27:46,761 --> 00:27:47,594 Alex! 289 00:27:49,971 --> 00:27:51,984 Alex, get down here! 290 00:27:53,391 --> 00:27:54,234 Alex. Wake up. 291 00:27:58,251 --> 00:28:00,164 Jesus fucking Christ. 292 00:28:02,329 --> 00:28:05,421 How many fucking times have I told you to stop doing that? 293 00:28:05,421 --> 00:28:07,074 - Be nice. - Fuck! 294 00:28:07,942 --> 00:28:11,968 Oh, what a piece of work is man. 295 00:28:13,401 --> 00:28:18,401 How noble in reason, how infinite in faculty, 296 00:28:18,861 --> 00:28:22,581 in form and movement, how express 297 00:28:22,581 --> 00:28:24,504 and admirable- - Enough! Enough! 298 00:28:25,491 --> 00:28:27,351 - Keep your- - Enough! 299 00:28:27,351 --> 00:28:28,311 What? 300 00:28:28,311 --> 00:28:29,391 Guys? Guys. 301 00:28:29,391 --> 00:28:30,354 Alex, come here. 302 00:28:31,251 --> 00:28:33,621 Hellfire House is live streaming again. 303 00:28:33,621 --> 00:28:37,161 Are you fucking kidding me? That's why you woke me up. 304 00:28:37,161 --> 00:28:39,744 Just watch. 305 00:29:26,418 --> 00:29:28,918 Well, this one's in a hurry. 306 00:29:34,161 --> 00:29:36,611 Must be giving them some sort of hypnotic drug. 307 00:29:37,767 --> 00:29:40,344 Oh, so you don't think it's actually his blood? 308 00:29:44,241 --> 00:29:46,071 Look, I don't know what this is. 309 00:29:46,071 --> 00:29:48,711 So you don't think this is a, a real live, 310 00:29:48,711 --> 00:29:51,471 honest-to-gosh vampire live streaming his killings. 311 00:29:51,471 --> 00:29:53,151 Alex, there doesn't have to be a real live 312 00:29:53,151 --> 00:29:54,471 vampire for killings. 313 00:29:54,471 --> 00:29:56,811 Oh, okay. Yeah, that makes sense. 314 00:29:56,811 --> 00:29:58,341 All the stuff where he's turning into a vampire, 315 00:29:58,341 --> 00:29:59,361 that's fake. 316 00:29:59,361 --> 00:30:01,401 But all the stuff where he's killing these chicks, 317 00:30:01,401 --> 00:30:03,141 that's real, that's what you believe? 318 00:30:03,141 --> 00:30:03,974 Seriously? 319 00:30:05,061 --> 00:30:07,611 I don't know. Alex, there's something about this. 320 00:30:50,091 --> 00:30:50,934 Interesting. 321 00:30:52,611 --> 00:30:57,611 Always surprises. I'm impressed. 322 00:30:57,921 --> 00:31:01,404 Usually when a woman marks herself in this way, 323 00:31:02,901 --> 00:31:07,471 the canvas of flesh quite overwhelms the illustrations. 324 00:31:16,526 --> 00:31:17,526 But these... 325 00:31:20,256 --> 00:31:21,673 are quite lovely. 326 00:31:23,451 --> 00:31:24,894 Do you have any tattoos? 327 00:31:25,941 --> 00:31:26,991 I'd love to see them. 328 00:31:28,348 --> 00:31:32,024 I'm afraid not. 329 00:31:55,122 --> 00:31:55,955 Wait. 330 00:31:57,201 --> 00:32:00,111 Can, wind it back. 331 00:32:00,111 --> 00:32:01,386 What? 332 00:32:01,386 --> 00:32:02,541 The part where he's b-biting her. Wind it back. 333 00:32:02,541 --> 00:32:04,591 I wanna see what- - Yeah, yeah. Hold on. 334 00:32:10,131 --> 00:32:12,531 - Did you catch it? - Catch what? 335 00:32:12,531 --> 00:32:13,431 Just slide over. 336 00:32:22,131 --> 00:32:24,631 Jesus Christ, Alex, what the fuck? 337 00:32:24,631 --> 00:32:27,321 Yeah, this is getting weird. Even been for you. 338 00:32:27,321 --> 00:32:28,974 Just wait a second, okay. Fuck. 339 00:32:33,231 --> 00:32:34,064 There. 340 00:32:36,201 --> 00:32:37,553 You see it? 341 00:32:37,553 --> 00:32:38,386 See what? 342 00:32:38,386 --> 00:32:39,324 It's her jugular. 343 00:32:40,311 --> 00:32:42,201 No. God, no. 344 00:32:42,201 --> 00:32:43,521 Okay. 345 00:32:43,521 --> 00:32:47,151 The jugular is a vein in the neck right here. 346 00:32:47,151 --> 00:32:48,351 What you're probably thinking of 347 00:32:48,351 --> 00:32:49,911 is the exterior carotid arteries, 348 00:32:49,911 --> 00:32:51,711 which are here and here in the neck. 349 00:32:53,811 --> 00:32:58,104 But this, that's the axillary artery. 350 00:32:59,721 --> 00:33:02,091 It, it, it runs under the collarbone, 351 00:33:02,091 --> 00:33:05,481 provides blood to the shoulder and the arm. 352 00:33:05,481 --> 00:33:07,311 He is never gonna let us forget 353 00:33:07,311 --> 00:33:09,861 that he took a year of med school. 354 00:33:09,861 --> 00:33:12,141 Two and a half. Get it straight. 355 00:33:12,141 --> 00:33:15,861 Okay? So whatever the fuck this um, monetary- 356 00:33:15,861 --> 00:33:18,381 Axillary, axillary artery. 357 00:33:18,381 --> 00:33:20,991 All right, axillary artery. So? 358 00:33:20,991 --> 00:33:24,591 So? Why bother? 359 00:33:24,591 --> 00:33:26,484 If this is just viral marketing, 360 00:33:28,161 --> 00:33:31,494 why bother with this obscure anatomical detail? 361 00:33:32,331 --> 00:33:34,221 It makes more sense dramatically 362 00:33:34,221 --> 00:33:35,521 to just go for the throat. 363 00:33:37,026 --> 00:33:39,591 Okay, so doesn't that mean 364 00:33:39,591 --> 00:33:42,711 that somehow or other this is all real? 365 00:33:46,455 --> 00:33:48,455 Yeah, I guess it does. 366 00:33:52,386 --> 00:33:53,219 Oh fuck. 367 00:33:54,944 --> 00:33:57,777 Okay. So what do we do about it? 368 00:34:00,830 --> 00:34:02,747 We're gonna air it... 369 00:34:04,362 --> 00:34:05,779 in the next show. 370 00:34:43,390 --> 00:34:48,390 And now it's time for Alexander's "Church of Chills." 371 00:35:04,161 --> 00:35:07,191 What is the point of this nonsense? 372 00:35:07,191 --> 00:35:08,811 Just watch, my Lord. 373 00:35:11,124 --> 00:35:12,404 How did this happen? 374 00:35:13,311 --> 00:35:17,814 These dabblers, how did they find us? 375 00:35:17,814 --> 00:35:21,291 I don't know. I can't seem to track them down. 376 00:35:21,291 --> 00:35:23,984 They keep themselves hidden, just as we do. 377 00:35:25,885 --> 00:35:30,885 No, not as we do. 378 00:35:31,927 --> 00:35:36,638 They're close. 379 00:36:03,411 --> 00:36:04,731 In case you were wondering, 380 00:36:04,731 --> 00:36:06,291 the two Carnage House streams, 381 00:36:06,291 --> 00:36:09,141 they're both over 3.5 million hits. 382 00:36:09,141 --> 00:36:10,461 Go figure. 383 00:36:10,461 --> 00:36:12,651 Jesus. Take a look at these numbers. 384 00:36:12,651 --> 00:36:16,134 780,000, 790,000. 385 00:36:16,134 --> 00:36:16,971 Well, I scored that high. 386 00:36:16,971 --> 00:36:19,851 That's not them, Mastermind. This is us. 387 00:36:19,851 --> 00:36:20,901 Are you kidding me? 388 00:36:21,783 --> 00:36:25,383 Hey guys, take a look at this. Found another one. 389 00:36:25,383 --> 00:36:26,241 Another one what? 390 00:36:26,241 --> 00:36:29,601 Another Carnage House killing. This one's different. 391 00:36:29,601 --> 00:36:31,071 What do you mean? Different how? 392 00:36:31,071 --> 00:36:32,631 It's old. 393 00:36:32,631 --> 00:36:34,521 It's gotta be the first one. 394 00:36:34,521 --> 00:36:37,761 Look. Okay, see one and two. 395 00:36:37,761 --> 00:36:39,891 They're both over a million hits. 396 00:36:39,891 --> 00:36:42,114 This one, it's only got seven. 397 00:36:43,341 --> 00:36:45,141 Why would they pull that back? 398 00:36:45,141 --> 00:36:48,234 It must be some, some kind of rehearsal. 399 00:36:49,461 --> 00:36:51,411 Maybe it wasn't meant for streaming 400 00:36:51,411 --> 00:36:53,261 or maybe something went wrong or... 401 00:36:57,951 --> 00:37:02,421 Okay, well that seems to be everything on the punch list. 402 00:37:05,331 --> 00:37:07,011 We should check the mirrors. 403 00:37:07,011 --> 00:37:07,944 Of course. 404 00:37:26,248 --> 00:37:29,721 Oh, the new sign isn't in place. 405 00:37:29,721 --> 00:37:32,364 Well, there's something there. Kreur, Kreurheim? 406 00:37:35,241 --> 00:37:38,004 Yes. It's the name of the home. 407 00:37:38,901 --> 00:37:42,594 It's an old word. It means house of blood. 408 00:37:45,381 --> 00:37:46,214 Oh! 409 00:37:47,421 --> 00:37:50,534 Not my blood. The blood of my family. 410 00:37:54,857 --> 00:37:55,857 All right. 411 00:37:57,788 --> 00:37:58,674 Excuse me. 412 00:38:00,471 --> 00:38:03,141 Okay. Well, it seems that everything's in order. 413 00:38:03,141 --> 00:38:04,464 So it seems. 414 00:38:06,021 --> 00:38:08,661 A little rough around the edges, yet, 415 00:38:08,661 --> 00:38:11,031 could see its final form 416 00:38:11,031 --> 00:38:14,394 starting to peek through its chrysalis. 417 00:38:16,491 --> 00:38:18,561 Well, yes, I suppose. 418 00:38:18,561 --> 00:38:23,561 Um. Okay, well, that is everything. 419 00:38:27,716 --> 00:38:30,334 Oh, God. What was I thinking? 420 00:38:32,318 --> 00:38:34,485 You have to sign the deed. 421 00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:39,560 Is this completely necessary? 422 00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:40,393 Yeah. 423 00:38:54,188 --> 00:38:55,188 Great. Okay. 424 00:38:57,266 --> 00:38:59,565 Well, I-I think that's everything then. 425 00:38:59,565 --> 00:39:04,452 So, I'm gonna get going. 426 00:39:04,452 --> 00:39:07,434 Can't be leaving yet. We have to christen the place. 427 00:39:09,381 --> 00:39:12,744 Oh, no, no, I really, I don't have time for that. 428 00:39:14,091 --> 00:39:14,994 Please. 429 00:39:26,931 --> 00:39:29,111 Uh. Well... 430 00:39:34,310 --> 00:39:36,728 To extraordinary things. 431 00:39:36,728 --> 00:39:39,098 Yeah, to extraordinary things. 432 00:40:10,054 --> 00:40:10,887 Ooh! 433 00:40:12,488 --> 00:40:15,234 Wow. That is some strong stuff. 434 00:40:17,661 --> 00:40:19,878 Yes, well, I found it necessary. 435 00:40:21,720 --> 00:40:22,553 Necessary? 436 00:40:22,553 --> 00:40:26,214 Necessary for creating a connection between us. 437 00:40:27,291 --> 00:40:29,571 Don't you feel- - Um. 438 00:40:29,571 --> 00:40:31,401 Connection between us? 439 00:40:31,401 --> 00:40:35,883 Yeah, no, I, I I, well, I, I I really should. 440 00:40:35,883 --> 00:40:37,942 I gotta, I have to go. 441 00:40:37,942 --> 00:40:42,731 Oh, that would be a terrible waste. Wouldn't you agree? 442 00:40:45,499 --> 00:40:46,582 There we are. 443 00:40:48,501 --> 00:40:50,661 So much finer you appear 444 00:40:50,661 --> 00:40:53,574 without those rags wrapped around you. 445 00:40:54,531 --> 00:40:58,041 A sacrifice perfect for the gods. 446 00:40:58,041 --> 00:40:58,874 No. 447 00:40:58,874 --> 00:41:00,894 Ready to be laid on the altar. 448 00:41:03,171 --> 00:41:04,004 No. 449 00:41:05,171 --> 00:41:08,414 Yes. This was all meant to be. 450 00:41:10,481 --> 00:41:11,814 Here we go. - No! 451 00:41:44,499 --> 00:41:45,332 No! No! 452 00:41:51,728 --> 00:41:56,115 No. 453 00:42:09,098 --> 00:42:10,447 Jesus. 454 00:42:10,447 --> 00:42:12,364 Some fucking rehearsal. 455 00:42:27,621 --> 00:42:31,071 Kreurheim. I've heard that name before. 456 00:42:31,071 --> 00:42:35,181 It's some big old stately home or something, isn't it? 457 00:42:35,181 --> 00:42:36,014 Beats me. 458 00:42:53,211 --> 00:42:54,801 You'll find that your machines 459 00:42:54,801 --> 00:42:57,204 no longer work for now. 460 00:42:59,331 --> 00:43:00,164 What the hell. 461 00:43:04,904 --> 00:43:06,324 Fuck. He's right. 462 00:43:06,324 --> 00:43:07,571 Yes, I am. 463 00:43:07,571 --> 00:43:10,191 So do I have your attention now, 464 00:43:10,191 --> 00:43:12,571 Mr. Jarvis, ladies? 465 00:43:15,351 --> 00:43:19,666 Holy shit. Alex, if he knows our names... 466 00:43:19,666 --> 00:43:20,499 Okay. 467 00:43:21,951 --> 00:43:26,271 You have our attention. What can we do for you? 468 00:43:26,271 --> 00:43:28,521 What you can do for me? 469 00:43:28,521 --> 00:43:32,391 I was thinking more along the lines of what you've done 470 00:43:32,391 --> 00:43:37,391 to me by making public what I've chosen to keep private. 471 00:43:38,241 --> 00:43:41,331 I suspect you have no idea to what extent 472 00:43:41,331 --> 00:43:44,601 your thoughtlessness has inconvenienced me. 473 00:43:44,601 --> 00:43:47,244 What do you mean we made public? 474 00:43:48,111 --> 00:43:49,851 You live stream your thing 475 00:43:49,851 --> 00:43:51,601 to hundreds of thousands of people. 476 00:43:52,851 --> 00:43:55,375 Don't light that cigarette. 477 00:43:55,375 --> 00:43:58,895 In fact, I want you to stop smoking altogether. 478 00:43:58,895 --> 00:44:00,946 It's a sordid habit. 479 00:44:00,946 --> 00:44:04,779 A habit of weak men, and it pollutes the body. 480 00:44:05,854 --> 00:44:08,878 - Dude, it's just a cigarette. - Put it down! 481 00:44:14,191 --> 00:44:15,384 Okay? I'm sorry. 482 00:44:17,151 --> 00:44:22,071 Mr. Jarvis, I plant my seeds very cautiously. 483 00:44:22,071 --> 00:44:25,941 That's why no one outside of my circle knows about us. 484 00:44:25,941 --> 00:44:28,581 That is, until now. 485 00:44:28,581 --> 00:44:30,231 Because of you. 486 00:44:30,231 --> 00:44:32,563 You've chosen to imprudently scatter 487 00:44:32,563 --> 00:44:34,221 those seeds to the wind. 488 00:44:34,221 --> 00:44:37,164 I'm sorry, I-I didn't understand. 489 00:44:38,765 --> 00:44:40,731 I-I don't understand. 490 00:44:40,731 --> 00:44:42,597 I don't suppose you're willing to share 491 00:44:42,597 --> 00:44:45,234 why you want to do this seed scattering. 492 00:45:02,056 --> 00:45:03,613 T-t-to threaten us. 493 00:45:03,613 --> 00:45:07,691 I don't threaten people. 494 00:45:07,691 --> 00:45:10,184 If I considered you a danger to me, 495 00:45:11,096 --> 00:45:11,929 you would never have seen me coming. 496 00:45:14,043 --> 00:45:16,941 Then, I-I don't know what. To, to explain? 497 00:45:16,941 --> 00:45:21,831 Or, um, to, I, I don't know. 498 00:45:21,831 --> 00:45:26,831 Um, I, I guess I'm done. I, I mean, I'm, I'm done guessing. 499 00:45:30,621 --> 00:45:31,454 Renfield. 500 00:45:33,545 --> 00:45:34,378 Junie. What? 501 00:45:34,378 --> 00:45:37,101 I'm afraid I didn't quite catch that young lady. 502 00:45:39,891 --> 00:45:44,178 Renfield is a character in the novel "Dracula." 503 00:45:46,336 --> 00:45:48,306 It's a novel about- - Yes. 504 00:45:48,306 --> 00:45:51,074 I am familiar with the work. 505 00:45:51,074 --> 00:45:54,407 Renfield is, how would you describe him? 506 00:45:56,256 --> 00:46:00,089 The groveling, lunatic servant of the vampire. 507 00:46:00,951 --> 00:46:05,951 I thought that maybe you thought about us like that. 508 00:46:07,906 --> 00:46:10,754 You're not far from wrong, Ms. Coleman. 509 00:46:10,754 --> 00:46:13,971 But upon examination, it's obvious to me 510 00:46:13,971 --> 00:46:17,274 that you're all thoroughly trivial creatures. 511 00:46:18,261 --> 00:46:22,121 Not even useful to me as Renfields, as you put it. 512 00:46:26,211 --> 00:46:31,211 Of course you agree, don't you? 513 00:46:34,334 --> 00:46:36,115 I don't know. 514 00:46:36,115 --> 00:46:38,614 Don't you? 515 00:46:38,614 --> 00:46:39,447 Yes. 516 00:46:40,822 --> 00:46:43,388 Huh. 517 00:46:43,388 --> 00:46:44,754 Yes. I agree. 518 00:46:46,401 --> 00:46:50,471 I mean, I, I can see exactly... 519 00:46:59,481 --> 00:47:02,211 They're gone! 520 00:47:02,211 --> 00:47:03,044 Sunlight. 521 00:47:04,401 --> 00:47:05,844 Shit, that's why he's gone. 522 00:47:06,891 --> 00:47:07,724 For now. 523 00:47:09,440 --> 00:47:14,440 Fuck! 524 00:47:27,892 --> 00:47:28,725 Alex. 525 00:47:30,554 --> 00:47:31,403 Alex. 526 00:47:32,671 --> 00:47:33,801 - What? - So what the fuck 527 00:47:33,801 --> 00:47:35,184 do we do now? 528 00:47:36,910 --> 00:47:37,827 Um. Okay. 529 00:47:39,441 --> 00:47:41,721 I'll tell you what we're gonna do. 530 00:47:41,721 --> 00:47:46,311 The footage of the contractor lady, we air it tonight. 531 00:47:46,311 --> 00:47:48,201 Are you fucking crazy? 532 00:47:48,201 --> 00:47:49,284 Haven't we pissed him off enough? 533 00:47:49,284 --> 00:47:51,561 Well he obviously didn't want it aired. 534 00:47:51,561 --> 00:47:52,881 There's clearly something on there 535 00:47:52,881 --> 00:47:54,261 that he didn't want anyone to see. 536 00:47:54,261 --> 00:47:56,421 So we're gonna let people see it. 537 00:47:56,421 --> 00:47:59,061 Seriously, Alex, you are fucking mental. 538 00:47:59,061 --> 00:48:00,681 Juniper, what are you doing? 539 00:48:00,681 --> 00:48:03,201 What does it look like I'm doing, Alex? 540 00:48:03,201 --> 00:48:04,311 You really think you're gonna be able 541 00:48:04,311 --> 00:48:06,720 to outrun this guy if he wants to find you? 542 00:48:06,720 --> 00:48:07,671 I think I have a better chance of outrunning him 543 00:48:07,671 --> 00:48:08,874 if I fucking run. 544 00:48:09,801 --> 00:48:10,778 Goddammit, where are my shoes? 545 00:48:10,778 --> 00:48:13,311 - Junie. - Where are my fucking shoes? 546 00:48:13,311 --> 00:48:14,511 Can you please just calm down? 547 00:48:14,511 --> 00:48:15,744 I am calm. 548 00:48:17,781 --> 00:48:21,681 Okay. 549 00:48:21,681 --> 00:48:25,911 Alex, I want my money. I need my money. 550 00:48:25,911 --> 00:48:27,831 Jesus, Junie. We didn't even discuss- 551 00:48:27,831 --> 00:48:29,181 Cut the bullshit. 552 00:48:29,181 --> 00:48:31,431 You always said we were equal partners in this. 553 00:48:31,431 --> 00:48:34,464 We have money. I'm dissolving the partnership. 554 00:48:35,811 --> 00:48:38,301 I need whatever part of the share that is mine. Okay? 555 00:48:38,301 --> 00:48:42,144 So go get that cash box, Alex. I need my money. 556 00:48:43,551 --> 00:48:45,321 Junie, can we just talk. 557 00:48:45,321 --> 00:48:46,284 Talk about what? 558 00:48:47,151 --> 00:48:48,111 Fine, Eddie. Fine. 559 00:48:48,111 --> 00:48:49,911 Yeah, go ahead, talk. Talk about what? 560 00:48:49,911 --> 00:48:52,311 I just don't think that- 561 00:48:52,311 --> 00:48:55,464 That's right. There's nothing to talk about. 562 00:48:57,171 --> 00:48:59,814 Enough. Go get the cash box, Alex. 563 00:49:00,801 --> 00:49:01,634 Alex. 564 00:49:07,401 --> 00:49:08,234 Fine! 565 00:49:16,311 --> 00:49:20,241 Seriously, Alex, you keep the key in the lock? 566 00:49:20,241 --> 00:49:21,074 What do you want from me? 567 00:49:21,074 --> 00:49:23,061 I would've lost it otherwise. - Jesus Christ. Hurry up. 568 00:49:23,061 --> 00:49:23,894 Hey! 569 00:49:25,851 --> 00:49:27,921 I don't have time for this. 570 00:49:27,921 --> 00:49:31,541 We don't have time for this. 571 00:49:31,541 --> 00:49:33,171 Shit. I didn't realize how broke we were. 572 00:49:33,171 --> 00:49:34,794 Seriously? Take a look around. 573 00:49:37,011 --> 00:49:39,241 Fine. Okay. 574 00:49:39,241 --> 00:49:41,541 $850. That's my share. 575 00:49:41,541 --> 00:49:42,424 I'm taking it. 576 00:49:45,092 --> 00:49:46,111 Junie, please. 577 00:49:46,111 --> 00:49:47,452 Junie, wait. 578 00:50:00,361 --> 00:50:01,194 Alex. 579 00:50:09,873 --> 00:50:10,873 Take care. 580 00:50:18,633 --> 00:50:20,133 I love you guys. 581 00:50:22,663 --> 00:50:25,580 Just do yourselves a favor and run. 582 00:50:38,572 --> 00:50:41,660 Eddie. 583 00:50:41,660 --> 00:50:42,493 So? 584 00:50:45,771 --> 00:50:50,771 So, so we do what I fucking said, okay? 585 00:50:50,901 --> 00:50:52,092 We air it tonight 586 00:50:52,092 --> 00:50:53,661 and we try to figure out why the fuck 587 00:50:53,661 --> 00:50:56,751 he didn't want anyone to see it and shit, I don't know. 588 00:50:56,751 --> 00:50:58,131 I don't know what the fuck else. 589 00:50:58,131 --> 00:50:59,691 I'm not fucking Van Helsing, Eddie. 590 00:50:59,691 --> 00:51:01,281 There are no more fucking Van Helsings. 591 00:51:01,281 --> 00:51:02,421 Jesus Christ, Alex. 592 00:51:02,421 --> 00:51:06,264 Why the fuck are you yelling at me? What did I do? 593 00:51:07,677 --> 00:51:08,510 Ah, fuck. 594 00:51:08,510 --> 00:51:09,343 What do you want from me? 595 00:51:09,343 --> 00:51:10,491 I don't know. I don't know. 596 00:51:10,491 --> 00:51:11,324 I'm sorry. Okay. 597 00:51:11,324 --> 00:51:16,324 I know it's not your fault, but I-I'm just, I'm just... 598 00:51:16,436 --> 00:51:18,876 It's this, it's crazy. 599 00:51:59,601 --> 00:52:00,434 Shit. 600 00:52:06,471 --> 00:52:08,211 Jesus Christ. - Shh. 601 00:52:08,211 --> 00:52:09,411 Reading room. 602 00:52:09,411 --> 00:52:13,971 Oh, well, sorry, but you scared the... 603 00:52:13,971 --> 00:52:16,161 I mean, you scared me to death. 604 00:52:16,161 --> 00:52:18,684 I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to creep up on you. 605 00:52:20,061 --> 00:52:21,534 It's, it's okay. 606 00:52:22,641 --> 00:52:26,271 I was just wondering if I might be able to help with this. 607 00:52:26,271 --> 00:52:29,544 I, I'm not sure. 608 00:52:31,851 --> 00:52:33,771 Oh, I'm so sorry. 609 00:52:33,771 --> 00:52:37,041 It's always getting tangled up in, in everything. 610 00:52:37,041 --> 00:52:38,791 Here, let me. - That's, it's okay. 611 00:52:42,026 --> 00:52:43,943 - Hmm. Kreurheim? - Yes. 612 00:52:45,891 --> 00:52:48,174 - I'm trying to find- - Local history. Hmm. 613 00:52:50,151 --> 00:52:51,561 I'm sorry? 614 00:52:51,561 --> 00:52:52,811 I think I can help you. 615 00:52:54,501 --> 00:52:57,174 - Really? - Yes. I'll be back. 616 00:53:22,011 --> 00:53:22,844 With this. 617 00:53:24,958 --> 00:53:27,231 "Kreurheim Vampire Cults." 618 00:53:27,231 --> 00:53:29,424 Holy shit it's here. God! 619 00:53:31,281 --> 00:53:33,861 Seriously, thanks. I would've never found this on my own. 620 00:53:33,861 --> 00:53:34,694 I swear. 621 00:53:34,694 --> 00:53:36,984 You are a fantastic librarian. 622 00:53:38,341 --> 00:53:39,791 Who said I was a librarian? 623 00:53:46,211 --> 00:53:50,794 Christ, why does stuff like this always happen to me? 624 00:54:40,052 --> 00:54:42,219 Jesus Christ. I'm sorry. 625 00:54:44,143 --> 00:54:44,976 Come on. 626 00:54:53,070 --> 00:54:55,899 Come on, you piece of shit. Come on. 627 00:54:55,899 --> 00:54:57,149 Ow! God dammit! 628 00:54:59,556 --> 00:55:00,777 Oh, please forgive me. 629 00:55:00,777 --> 00:55:02,896 Please forgive me. Okay. 630 00:55:04,028 --> 00:55:04,861 Okay. 631 00:57:12,609 --> 00:57:16,859 Hey Alex, I love what you've done with the place. 632 00:57:18,080 --> 00:57:22,747 What do you got? 633 00:57:30,981 --> 00:57:31,974 That's the place. 634 00:57:33,471 --> 00:57:35,061 It was built in 1880. 635 00:57:35,061 --> 00:57:37,031 Whatever he's doing now, he was trying 636 00:57:37,031 --> 00:57:39,111 to do the same thing back then. 637 00:57:39,111 --> 00:57:41,061 He just couldn't make it work. 638 00:57:41,061 --> 00:57:42,714 Wait, what, what is this book? 639 00:57:43,978 --> 00:57:45,471 "Death Cults Through the Ages." 640 00:57:45,471 --> 00:57:49,044 Let me read this to you. This is a quote, 641 00:57:51,208 --> 00:57:56,021 "SO speaks Senor Arturo Valenor of the family Valenor. 642 00:57:56,021 --> 00:57:59,061 'I have labored in the shadows for a very long time 643 00:57:59,061 --> 00:58:01,581 to bring forth a great change in the world. 644 00:58:01,581 --> 00:58:04,581 A change that will be forged in passion and blood. 645 00:58:04,581 --> 00:58:07,011 When the final sacrifice is performed 646 00:58:07,011 --> 00:58:09,989 before the great convocation of my followers, 647 00:58:09,989 --> 00:58:12,468 the world of the living will be overthrown 648 00:58:12,468 --> 00:58:15,131 and the Lord of the eternal night will rule.'" 649 00:58:16,161 --> 00:58:17,604 Here, listen to this. 650 00:58:19,288 --> 00:58:22,041 "Multiple reports, screams in the night 651 00:58:22,041 --> 00:58:25,407 and horrible odors coming from the Kreurheim mansion." 652 00:58:25,407 --> 00:58:26,661 Kreurheim mansion? 653 00:58:26,661 --> 00:58:28,101 Right, that's that big closed up place 654 00:58:28,101 --> 00:58:29,211 out by Regency Park. 655 00:58:29,211 --> 00:58:30,898 It's right here in town. 656 00:58:30,898 --> 00:58:33,792 "Police conducted a raid in the summer of 1892. 657 00:58:33,792 --> 00:58:36,991 In the basement, they found the torn, decayed 658 00:58:38,293 --> 00:58:39,831 and partially devoured remains 659 00:58:39,831 --> 00:58:41,934 of over 200 women and children. 660 00:58:43,821 --> 00:58:46,191 Evidence suggested unholy ritualistic acts 661 00:58:46,191 --> 00:58:48,828 conducted both before and after death." 662 00:58:50,481 --> 00:58:51,314 Lovely. 663 00:58:52,618 --> 00:58:55,674 "No trace was ever found of Valenor or his followers. 664 00:58:56,511 --> 00:59:00,051 Ownership of the mansion was passed to a single relative 665 00:59:00,051 --> 00:59:02,301 who has sealed up the property. 666 00:59:02,301 --> 00:59:05,001 It has been maintained unoccupied for over a century." 667 00:59:07,431 --> 00:59:08,514 Alex, look at this. 668 00:59:11,061 --> 00:59:12,981 Don't you see, Alex? 669 00:59:12,981 --> 00:59:16,431 It's them. All three of them. 670 00:59:16,431 --> 00:59:18,231 They haven't aged. 671 00:59:18,231 --> 00:59:20,241 Yeah. Yeah. I see. 672 00:59:20,241 --> 00:59:21,531 This is what he's trying do. 673 00:59:21,531 --> 00:59:25,614 It's what he's been trying to do since, since back then. 674 00:59:27,231 --> 00:59:29,931 This motherfucker isn't just looking for blood and tits. 675 00:59:29,931 --> 00:59:32,721 He's trying to destroy the whole fucking world. 676 00:59:32,721 --> 00:59:34,371 I mean, he hasn't had much luck though, right? 677 00:59:34,371 --> 00:59:37,131 Because it's been, what, like a hundred and something years? 678 00:59:37,131 --> 00:59:38,841 Goddammit. Don't you get it? 679 00:59:38,841 --> 00:59:40,941 They didn't have live streaming back then. 680 00:59:42,021 --> 00:59:43,521 Don't you see what he's doing? 681 00:59:44,841 --> 00:59:48,534 He needs some critical mass. 682 00:59:50,451 --> 00:59:52,521 That's what all this is about. 683 00:59:52,521 --> 00:59:55,491 Look, see. 684 00:59:55,491 --> 00:59:57,384 The stars, just right. 685 00:59:58,881 --> 01:00:01,401 The number of worshipers, just right. 686 01:00:01,401 --> 01:00:03,171 The sacrifices, just right. 687 01:00:03,171 --> 01:00:05,008 The rituals, just- - No, no. 688 01:00:09,111 --> 01:00:12,864 Jesus Christ, Alex, Don't give me that look. 689 01:00:14,571 --> 01:00:16,971 Don't tell me you suddenly don't believe it. 690 01:00:16,971 --> 01:00:19,161 This is what's happening right now. 691 01:00:19,161 --> 01:00:20,301 Okay. Right. 692 01:00:20,301 --> 01:00:22,491 So what are we supposed to do? 693 01:00:22,491 --> 01:00:23,521 Go over there and stake him through the heart. 694 01:00:23,521 --> 01:00:26,271 They, they would kill us in two seconds. 695 01:00:26,271 --> 01:00:27,381 We can't just let this- 696 01:00:27,381 --> 01:00:29,661 Okay, let's, let's just, let's just think about this. 697 01:00:29,661 --> 01:00:30,494 Okay? 698 01:00:33,051 --> 01:00:35,991 He didn't want anybody to know this stuff, right? 699 01:00:35,991 --> 01:00:37,251 To, to know who he is, 700 01:00:37,251 --> 01:00:39,831 where he lives, what he's trying to do. 701 01:00:39,831 --> 01:00:43,734 So we do like I said, we put it up and let people see it. 702 01:00:44,715 --> 01:00:46,581 And, and, and maybe, you know, maybe that, 703 01:00:46,581 --> 01:00:47,661 that screws the whole thing up. 704 01:00:47,661 --> 01:00:48,801 It blows up the ritual. 705 01:00:48,801 --> 01:00:50,421 - Alex. - No, no. Come on. 706 01:00:50,421 --> 01:00:52,611 We gotta get this streaming before sunset. 707 01:00:52,611 --> 01:00:54,797 Jesus, I don't know if we have the time. 708 01:00:54,797 --> 01:00:55,630 It's all- - It doesn't matter. 709 01:00:55,630 --> 01:00:56,463 It's fine. 710 01:00:56,463 --> 01:00:58,244 Come on, we'll get it streaming and just let it go. Come on. 711 01:01:18,861 --> 01:01:23,861 And now it's time for Alexander's "Church of Chills." 712 01:01:28,311 --> 01:01:30,831 This is an emergency broadcast. 713 01:01:30,831 --> 01:01:35,831 Listen, this is Kreurheim, built in the 1800s. 714 01:01:36,771 --> 01:01:41,061 It has been the scene of nightmares and murders. 715 01:01:41,061 --> 01:01:42,981 It still is. 716 01:01:42,981 --> 01:01:45,381 This man is Arturo Valenor, 717 01:01:45,381 --> 01:01:50,381 only he's not just a man, he's something else. 718 01:01:50,901 --> 01:01:55,791 One of the undead, a vampire who feeds on human blood. 719 01:01:55,791 --> 01:01:58,431 He's there right now at Kreurheim. 720 01:01:58,431 --> 01:02:00,351 And what he was trying to do back then, 721 01:02:00,351 --> 01:02:02,871 he is still trying to do right now. 722 01:02:02,871 --> 01:02:04,071 He's trying to destroy 723 01:02:04,071 --> 01:02:06,801 the whole, fucking- 724 01:02:06,801 --> 01:02:07,634 What the hell? 725 01:02:08,511 --> 01:02:11,451 Alex the feed. What happened to the feed? 726 01:02:11,451 --> 01:02:12,474 How should I know. 727 01:02:14,661 --> 01:02:15,494 It's him. 728 01:02:16,701 --> 01:02:19,041 Some of you no doubt have been tuning in 729 01:02:19,041 --> 01:02:23,151 to Mr. Jarvis's "Church of Chills." 730 01:02:23,151 --> 01:02:25,914 We here at Kreurheim have been enjoying it all evening. 731 01:02:26,931 --> 01:02:30,114 But now we have other business to attend to. 732 01:02:31,401 --> 01:02:34,671 I'm sure all of you accept our invitation 733 01:02:34,671 --> 01:02:37,884 to take part in this ritual. 734 01:02:55,761 --> 01:02:56,928 Jesus. 735 01:02:56,928 --> 01:02:58,671 Alex, do you know how many people 736 01:02:58,671 --> 01:03:00,021 are watching this right now? 737 01:03:00,021 --> 01:03:00,854 Christ, Eddie. 738 01:03:00,854 --> 01:03:03,069 I don't think right now is the time for that. 739 01:03:03,069 --> 01:03:03,986 185, 187. 740 01:03:05,088 --> 01:03:06,591 And that's just us. 741 01:03:06,591 --> 01:03:07,494 What the fuck? 742 01:03:08,782 --> 01:03:11,721 I mean, how did he even know that we were gonna be stream... 743 01:03:11,721 --> 01:03:13,251 What are the numbers on his stream? 744 01:03:13,251 --> 01:03:15,564 No good. He's locked us out again. 745 01:03:56,001 --> 01:04:00,231 Oh shit. The sacrifice, fuck, it's Junie. 746 01:04:00,231 --> 01:04:03,363 Oh my god. Fuck, what do we do? 747 01:04:03,363 --> 01:04:04,196 Oh my God. 748 01:04:05,333 --> 01:04:09,073 Fuck! You fucking leave her alone, you asshole! 749 01:04:47,665 --> 01:04:48,498 Oh my God. 750 01:04:50,623 --> 01:04:52,028 What do you want from us? 751 01:04:52,028 --> 01:04:53,445 What do I want? 752 01:04:55,570 --> 01:04:59,129 What does a cat want with a mouse? 753 01:04:59,129 --> 01:05:01,886 Come on. 754 01:05:12,634 --> 01:05:14,262 Ah! 755 01:05:26,815 --> 01:05:27,815 He's gone. 756 01:05:54,075 --> 01:05:56,075 What a terrible shame. 757 01:05:57,864 --> 01:05:59,281 So pale and pure. 758 01:06:02,648 --> 01:06:05,898 Oh, if I had the time to truly enjoy... 759 01:06:10,000 --> 01:06:12,250 their untouchable delights. 760 01:06:16,125 --> 01:06:18,978 So are these. 761 01:06:18,978 --> 01:06:23,978 Aargh! 762 01:06:56,191 --> 01:06:58,608 There's someone down there. 763 01:07:48,111 --> 01:07:49,278 Who's there? 764 01:07:57,539 --> 01:07:58,372 What? 765 01:07:59,427 --> 01:08:01,377 I thought I told you to stop smoking. 766 01:08:05,331 --> 01:08:06,251 I said... 767 01:08:09,021 --> 01:08:09,854 Put it out. 768 01:08:12,051 --> 01:08:12,884 Junie. 769 01:08:18,361 --> 01:08:22,164 Junie what happened? Are you okay? 770 01:08:22,164 --> 01:08:23,514 Yes. I'm quite all right. 771 01:08:25,281 --> 01:08:27,281 Everything turned out just as I planned. 772 01:08:29,451 --> 01:08:30,801 I was worried for some time 773 01:08:30,801 --> 01:08:34,284 that you two fools wouldn't play your appointed roles, 774 01:08:36,081 --> 01:08:37,284 but in the end, 775 01:08:38,781 --> 01:08:42,048 you perform the final sacrifice admirably. 776 01:08:44,456 --> 01:08:46,729 I don't understand. 777 01:08:46,729 --> 01:08:48,887 Wh-what's going on. 778 01:08:48,887 --> 01:08:51,554 Yes, I was worried about that. 779 01:08:52,513 --> 01:08:55,615 Alex, you idiot. It's not Junie. 780 01:08:55,615 --> 01:08:56,448 What? 781 01:09:11,593 --> 01:09:15,260 Listen to them, the children of the night, 782 01:09:17,665 --> 01:09:19,794 what music they make.