1 00:00:08,884 --> 00:00:10,511 [Milo] Hey, Roman, are you sleeping? 2 00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:12,763 Yes. 3 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:15,057 [Milo] Okay, cool. 4 00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:16,851 Hey, Roman? 5 00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:20,229 - What? [sighs] - Is the monster gone? 6 00:00:20,855 --> 00:00:23,691 [sighs] We've talked about this, okay? 7 00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:26,569 There is no monster! 8 00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:30,740 Why'd you scream? You scared me. 9 00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:35,077 I scared you? [scoffs] Look, tha-- that's it, okay? 10 00:00:35,077 --> 00:00:37,788 I'm too old to be living with a kid who believes in monsters. 11 00:00:38,289 --> 00:00:40,291 Remember what Gladys at the dry cleaners said? 12 00:00:40,750 --> 00:00:42,209 That's the most ketchup she's ever cleaned out 13 00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:43,335 of a young man's pants? 14 00:00:44,336 --> 00:00:46,422 Exactly. "A young man." 15 00:00:46,881 --> 00:00:48,507 And a young man, needs his own room. 16 00:00:48,841 --> 00:00:50,551 N-- I'm talking to Mom and Dad. 17 00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:57,433 Well, that's new. 18 00:01:01,437 --> 00:01:03,397 Oh, hey, kid. Is this the Russo house? 19 00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:05,316 What are you doing in my mirror? 20 00:01:05,316 --> 00:01:07,485 That's how we get places. I'm a wizard. 21 00:01:07,777 --> 00:01:09,195 Where's your robe and pointy hat? 22 00:01:09,653 --> 00:01:12,323 [chuckles] Let me clarify. I'm a wizard with style. 23 00:01:18,329 --> 00:01:20,039 [female voice] Billie, we can't go in that way. 24 00:01:21,332 --> 00:01:23,042 Wait! Who else is in there? 25 00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:25,377 Should I be changing in the bathroom? 26 00:01:26,921 --> 00:01:28,714 - Okay, Milo. - Roman. 27 00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:30,174 There's something I gotta tell you. 28 00:01:30,174 --> 00:01:33,719 Me first, okay? [inhales] Maybe I flew off the handle. 29 00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,513 Not gonna move out. 30 00:01:35,513 --> 00:01:38,891 But promise me, no more crazy made-up stories. 31 00:01:38,891 --> 00:01:43,229 - There's a wizard in our mirror! - Dad, I need my own room! 32 00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:46,941 [theme song playing] 33 00:01:46,941 --> 00:01:49,860 {\an8}♪ Everything is not what it seems ♪ 34 00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:51,737 {\an8}♪ When you can have what you want ♪ 35 00:01:51,737 --> 00:01:53,489 {\an8}♪ By the simplest of means ♪ 36 00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:56,659 {\an8}♪ Be careful not to mess with the balance of things ♪ 37 00:01:56,659 --> 00:02:01,288 {\an8}♪ Because everything is not what it seems ♪ 38 00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:03,415 ♪ You might run into trouble if you go to extremes ♪ 39 00:02:03,415 --> 00:02:06,293 ♪ Because everything is not what it seems ♪ 40 00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:08,087 ♪ Yes, please ♪ 41 00:02:10,089 --> 00:02:11,799 - ♪ What it seems ♪ - [theme song concludes] 42 00:02:18,222 --> 00:02:20,099 {\an8}Oh! Hey there, good looking. 43 00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:22,560 {\an8}[exhales] Why, yes. 44 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:26,355 {\an8}It is my birthday today. Yeah, 34. 45 00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:27,815 [grunts] 46 00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:31,777 Oh, you think the J-Man's still got it? [exhales] 47 00:02:32,528 --> 00:02:35,906 {\an8}- I think you still got it. - [gasps, laughs] Giada. 48 00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:38,242 [inhales] You're awake. That's fun. 49 00:02:39,785 --> 00:02:41,328 Happy birthday, J-Man. 50 00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:43,914 You remembered my birthday. 51 00:02:43,914 --> 00:02:45,040 {\an8}How could I forget? 52 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:47,126 {\an8}You sent me four calendar invites. 53 00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:50,087 {\an8}Well, you do know that coordinating family logistics 54 00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:51,922 {\an8}- is my love language. - [laughs] 55 00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:54,967 Gross! Get a room! 56 00:02:55,551 --> 00:02:56,719 This is our room. 57 00:02:58,012 --> 00:03:00,264 Hey, guys! Anything you wanna say to me today? 58 00:03:00,264 --> 00:03:03,309 Oh, thank you for asking. I need my own room. 59 00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:06,395 No, like anything you want to, uh, wish me? 60 00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:09,315 I wish you would give me my own room. 61 00:03:11,275 --> 00:03:13,235 {\an8}Look what I woke up to this morning. 62 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,237 {\an8}It's so the monster in the closet will think 63 00:03:15,237 --> 00:03:17,197 {\an8}I'm a monster and go after Roman. 64 00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:19,783 Savage. Gets that from my side. 65 00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:24,079 {\an8}Mom, don't encourage him. You should be telling him 66 00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:25,748 {\an8}there's no such thing as monsters. 67 00:03:25,998 --> 00:03:27,291 {\an8}Back me up on this, Dad. 68 00:03:27,291 --> 00:03:28,626 {\an8}Absolutely, buddy. 69 00:03:28,626 --> 00:03:30,669 {\an8}There is no such thing as monsters. 70 00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:32,171 {\an8}And I should know, 'cause I was not 71 00:03:32,171 --> 00:03:33,547 {\an8}a monster hunter when I was your age. 72 00:03:34,006 --> 00:03:35,257 {\an8}You were a monster hunter? 73 00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:38,302 {\an8}No! No, I was very clear when I said I was not 74 00:03:38,302 --> 00:03:40,262 {\an8}a monster hunter, okay? I couldn't have been, 75 00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:41,347 because I'm not a wizard. 76 00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:44,016 [chuckles, inhales deeply] What are we even talking about? 77 00:03:45,643 --> 00:03:49,313 Is Dad having a midlife crisis? Are you getting a tattoo? 78 00:03:49,605 --> 00:03:50,648 Ooh, are you? 79 00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,233 - No, and I am not midlife-- - M'kay. 80 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,860 Guys, I turned 34 today. 81 00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:56,111 It's your birthday? 82 00:03:57,613 --> 00:03:58,447 Be honest with me, does no one check the family calendar? 83 00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:02,159 We all love the calendar, big fans of the calendar. Okay. 84 00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:05,120 Boys, go get dressed. I think your dad needs a moment. 85 00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:08,624 Listen, don't freak out, 86 00:04:08,624 --> 00:04:09,792 but I got you a little surprise for your birthday. 87 00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:11,752 But... I don't like surprises. 88 00:04:11,961 --> 00:04:13,128 Oh, you're gonna like this one. 89 00:04:14,672 --> 00:04:16,590 Okay, I can handle this. Maybe liking surprises 90 00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,467 will be a new thing for me. Yeah, yeah. 91 00:04:18,467 --> 00:04:20,469 [inhales] Oh, who am I kidding? Giada! 92 00:04:25,307 --> 00:04:26,475 Let's just go in this way. 93 00:04:27,810 --> 00:04:28,727 [female voice] No, we have to use the front door. 94 00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:32,189 [scoffs] Like a mortal? Aw, man, nobody better see me. 95 00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:38,988 Giada! Hey, um, uh, yeah... 96 00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:42,074 Giada, why-- why don't you tell me what it is, okay? 97 00:04:42,074 --> 00:04:43,492 And you'll be like, "Surprise!" 98 00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:46,078 And then I'll be like, "No freaking way!" [chuckles] 99 00:04:46,078 --> 00:04:48,080 - Gia-- Huh? - [doorbell rings] 100 00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:53,419 Look who's using the front door just like one of you people. 101 00:04:55,546 --> 00:04:56,547 Surprise! 102 00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:03,595 No freaking way. 103 00:05:04,138 --> 00:05:06,598 I know, I look fantastic, don't I? 104 00:05:07,850 --> 00:05:09,935 Alex, [stammers] are you here for my birthday? 105 00:05:10,436 --> 00:05:13,856 It's your... It-- uh... It's your birthday! That's why... 106 00:05:13,856 --> 00:05:15,357 - That's why I came, you know? - [Justin] Aw. 107 00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:17,067 That's why we're here. We came for your birthday. 108 00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:21,488 You dragged me here for your brother's birthday? 109 00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:22,865 No, I brought you here, 110 00:05:22,865 --> 00:05:24,533 so you can meet your new wizard teacher. 111 00:05:24,742 --> 00:05:27,244 I don't need a new teacher. They never believe in me anyway. 112 00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:30,456 [inhales] Well, this one will. He's the best I've ever known. 113 00:05:30,456 --> 00:05:32,166 - [sighs] - Annoyingly. But... 114 00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:33,917 I just have to find a way to ask him. 115 00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:35,419 He can be a little high-strung. 116 00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:37,004 Did you guys track this dirt in? 117 00:05:40,132 --> 00:05:41,633 Okay, a lot high-strung. 118 00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:46,305 So, you're the guy who owns all the sandwich shops? 119 00:05:46,305 --> 00:05:47,389 Like, the billionaire? 120 00:05:47,639 --> 00:05:49,475 Uh, no. That would be Max. 121 00:05:49,475 --> 00:05:51,185 I'm a middle school vice principal, which some 122 00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:53,395 would say is much cooler than being a billionaire. 123 00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:54,813 - Nobody says that. - I would never say that. 124 00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:58,984 Uh, and Alex, who is this? 125 00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:02,988 Oh, um, this is Billie. She's... with me. 126 00:06:03,739 --> 00:06:05,574 Well, that clears everything up. 127 00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:09,578 - Aunt Alex! - Oh, my gosh! Hi, guys! 128 00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:12,623 How are you? I bought you presents. 129 00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:14,166 Because I'm the coolest aunt, like ever. 130 00:06:14,166 --> 00:06:15,667 - [Roman] Oh! Shirts. - So... 131 00:06:16,835 --> 00:06:18,545 - [Roman] Straight outta WizTech. - Alex. 132 00:06:19,129 --> 00:06:20,547 Can I speak with you in private? 133 00:06:24,259 --> 00:06:26,220 That's the wizard girl from our mirror. 134 00:06:26,595 --> 00:06:27,721 Dude, you're gonna weird her out. 135 00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:29,598 Hey, what kind of mileage does this thing get? 136 00:06:32,351 --> 00:06:34,061 Okay, maybe she's gonna weird us out. 137 00:06:36,438 --> 00:06:37,648 Uh, what are these? 138 00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:39,858 Uh, hilarious novelty tees. 139 00:06:41,193 --> 00:06:42,319 About wizards. 140 00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:45,864 - Well, we are wizards. - [shushes] 141 00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:47,908 Okay, we're talking over here now. 142 00:06:49,493 --> 00:06:51,328 Remember how the last time we talked, 143 00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:53,539 you asked me when I was going to tell Giada and the kids 144 00:06:53,539 --> 00:06:55,082 that I was from a family of wizards? 145 00:06:55,457 --> 00:06:58,377 - Yeah. - Well, I kinda sort of haven't. 146 00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:01,380 You're still lying to your family, Justin? I'm... 147 00:07:02,256 --> 00:07:03,382 I'm so proud of you. 148 00:07:05,134 --> 00:07:07,511 I'm not lying, Alex. Technically, I'm not a wizard. 149 00:07:07,511 --> 00:07:09,721 Okay? Anymore. I haven't picked up a wand 150 00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:10,973 since I got fired from WizTech. 151 00:07:11,390 --> 00:07:13,308 Oh... Yeah. The unicorn incident. 152 00:07:13,308 --> 00:07:15,144 - That was hilarious-- Awful. - Awful! 153 00:07:15,144 --> 00:07:17,688 It was so awful. That's what I was trying to say. 154 00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:22,151 Uh, but don't you miss it? You know, teaching wizards? 155 00:07:22,901 --> 00:07:25,863 [scoffs] No. I don't even think about it every day. 156 00:07:27,990 --> 00:07:29,783 - You just said every day. - Yes, I didn't. 157 00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:34,454 Look, okay? Just while you're here, 158 00:07:34,872 --> 00:07:37,624 no talk about magic and no wizard talk, okay? 159 00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:41,461 Fine. What exactly does your family think I do for a living? 160 00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:42,838 Professional dog walker. 161 00:07:45,591 --> 00:07:48,218 I want to be offended, but I do love dogs, so... 162 00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:50,637 All right, fine. I won't blow your cover. 163 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:53,390 Thank you. And what about Billie? Is she cool? 164 00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:54,516 I promise. 165 00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:57,477 Billie definitely won't say anything about being a wizard. 166 00:07:57,769 --> 00:07:58,812 I'm a wizard! 167 00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:03,942 - I told you. - Milo, she's not a wizard. 168 00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:05,485 I know you didn't just say that. 169 00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:07,571 There's no such thing as wizards. 170 00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:09,156 And I know you did not just say that. 171 00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:12,075 It's not personal. He doesn't believe me 172 00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:13,827 about the monster in our closet either. 173 00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,495 Uh-- Because monsters aren't real, 174 00:08:15,871 --> 00:08:17,247 just like wizards aren't real. 175 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,499 Okay, smart guy, show me your closet then. 176 00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:22,419 Fine, but all that's gonna prove is that I have 177 00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:23,712 great taste in cardigans. 178 00:08:27,299 --> 00:08:29,676 There it is. There's the closet. 179 00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:30,886 Open it up. 180 00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:33,347 This is your dumb thing. You open it. 181 00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:36,225 I'm not opening it. I like being alive. 182 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:39,186 Well, guess you're both too scared to open it. 183 00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:41,438 I am. Thought I was clear about that. 184 00:08:42,606 --> 00:08:43,941 Hey, fine, I'll open it. 185 00:08:45,943 --> 00:08:47,319 [softly] From the place where dark beasts dwell, 186 00:08:47,778 --> 00:08:49,529 I summon a floogie with this spell. 187 00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:53,158 Get ready to not see... [screams] 188 00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:55,619 - [growls] - [screams] 189 00:08:57,788 --> 00:08:59,289 Why are you laughing?! 190 00:08:59,623 --> 00:09:02,542 Because, you said monsters aren't real, 191 00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:05,796 so I conjured one, 'cause I'm a wizard, ahwandra. 192 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,799 [growling and grumbling] 193 00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:12,386 Please tell me there's a spell to make it go away. 194 00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,930 There is, I just don't know it. 195 00:09:17,015 --> 00:09:18,892 You don't know how to send it back? 196 00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:20,602 Then why did you conjure it? 197 00:09:20,602 --> 00:09:22,854 - 'Cause you said I couldn't. - You can't argue with the logic. 198 00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:26,191 - [growls] - [shushes] 199 00:09:27,943 --> 00:09:29,027 I don't hear anything. 200 00:09:31,655 --> 00:09:34,408 See? Uh, maybe the monster went away on its own? 201 00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:37,035 Yeah, that definitely happens. Go check it out. 202 00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:41,873 - [growls] - [screams] 203 00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:46,003 [laughs] You checked it out? What is wrong with you? 204 00:09:46,003 --> 00:09:48,130 Me? We didn't have a monster 205 00:09:48,130 --> 00:09:50,048 in the closet until you came along! 206 00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:52,175 - Actually-- - Not now, Milo! 207 00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:57,389 My dad cannot find out 208 00:09:57,389 --> 00:09:58,682 there's a monster running around the house. 209 00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:00,100 - It'll-- - Ruin his birthday. 210 00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:04,229 His birthday? If Justin Russo finds out wizards are real, 211 00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:06,565 - his head's gonna explode! - Cool. 212 00:10:07,566 --> 00:10:09,276 Why did you bring that... that... 213 00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:10,986 - Floogie. - ...that floogie here, 214 00:10:10,986 --> 00:10:12,237 if you couldn't get rid of it? 215 00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:13,613 'Cause I didn't know I couldn't get rid of it 216 00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:14,781 until I brought it here. 217 00:10:16,158 --> 00:10:18,452 You need to go back to... wizard school. 218 00:10:18,869 --> 00:10:20,287 Well, I can't, 'cause I got kicked out. 219 00:10:21,872 --> 00:10:24,082 It's not my fault my teachers don't believe in me. 220 00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:26,335 But I don't need them. I don't need anyone. 221 00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:28,003 We definitely need someone. 222 00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:33,133 No, we don't. I can fix this. 223 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,760 I'll get rid of the floogie myself. 224 00:10:35,761 --> 00:10:36,762 Please. 225 00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:39,097 All right, fine. But if that thing 226 00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:40,349 poops in the house, you're cleaning it up. 227 00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:43,101 Oh, they don't poop. They flarf. It's way worse. 228 00:10:46,855 --> 00:10:49,733 So, hypothetically, yeah, I use words like hypothetically now, 229 00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,903 what would you say if someone were to ask you 230 00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:54,112 to go back to teaching magic? 231 00:10:54,446 --> 00:10:56,031 Alex, what is this all about? 232 00:10:56,573 --> 00:11:00,035 Oh! Sorry I took so long. Mr. Kopecky from next door 233 00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:02,329 forced me to look at pictures of his grandson. 234 00:11:02,537 --> 00:11:04,915 Now, I would never say that a baby is ugly, 235 00:11:04,915 --> 00:11:06,833 but this baby, it looks like a foot. 236 00:11:08,710 --> 00:11:10,462 - Alex! [scoffs] - Hey, Giada. 237 00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:11,671 What are you doing here? 238 00:11:13,215 --> 00:11:15,008 Giada, come on. I know that Alex is my birthday surprise. 239 00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,385 Whoa, babe, I would never ambush you 240 00:11:16,385 --> 00:11:17,677 with family and call it a present. 241 00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:19,888 So, Alex, how's work? 242 00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:22,307 Uh, work's great. I'm on the Tribunal now. 243 00:11:22,724 --> 00:11:26,269 - You're on the Tribunal? - There's a dog-walking tribunal? 244 00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:28,939 Yeah. Yeah, they were like, 245 00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:33,443 "Alex, there are some pretty bad dogs out there, and... 246 00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:35,779 and you're the only one that can help." 247 00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:38,865 Oh, you're the only one, huh? You? 248 00:11:40,117 --> 00:11:41,910 Yeah. Why is it so hard to believe? 249 00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:43,286 I mean, I am the family... 250 00:11:44,121 --> 00:11:45,205 dog walker. 251 00:11:46,623 --> 00:11:48,542 But I practically taught you how to walk those dogs. 252 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,169 If anyone should have been on the Tribunal, we both know 253 00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:52,546 that it should have been moi. 254 00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,966 Okay. Well, if you wanted to make the Tribunal so badly, 255 00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:57,467 maybe you shouldn't have hung up your leash. 256 00:11:57,801 --> 00:11:59,428 Okay, you know, well, this is getting awkward. 257 00:11:59,428 --> 00:12:01,721 Is anybody thirsty? I'm not, but I'm gonna leave anyway. 258 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,016 Dude, what's your problem? 259 00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:07,310 I thought you were happy you left wizarding behind. 260 00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:11,356 I am, okay? I like my quiet, predictable, no surprises life. 261 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:14,401 Then why are you acting like you have flarf for brains? 262 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:17,529 First, we don't use that kind of language in this house. 263 00:12:19,531 --> 00:12:22,033 And second, if you're not my birthday surprise, 264 00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:23,577 what are you doing here, Alex? 265 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:28,665 Okay fine. Um, Billie is one of the most extraordinary wizards 266 00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:30,417 - I've ever met. But she needs... - [glass shattering] 267 00:12:31,710 --> 00:12:32,711 What was that? 268 00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,506 [gasps] Giada! 269 00:12:39,009 --> 00:12:41,678 [gasps, grunts] 270 00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:44,014 This looks like a floogie freeze. 271 00:12:45,474 --> 00:12:47,350 Oh, look at you remembering your class-three monsters. 272 00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:49,186 - Just like old times. When we were little, I used-- - Oh, no. 273 00:12:49,186 --> 00:12:52,272 No, no, no, no, no. No. You said you wouldn't do magic. 274 00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:54,024 - I didn't do this. It... - [sighs] 275 00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:56,651 - Billie... - This is classic Alex. 276 00:12:57,068 --> 00:12:58,987 You're here for five minutes and I got a floogie infestation, 277 00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:00,530 and just look at my beautiful wife! 278 00:13:03,074 --> 00:13:06,620 I'll handle this. After all, I am the family dog walker. 279 00:13:08,663 --> 00:13:11,583 The only way to unfreeze her is to banish the floogie back where it came from. 280 00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:15,629 I know, but thank you for the refresher because... I forgot. 281 00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:20,926 Whatever you do, do not look the floogie 282 00:13:20,926 --> 00:13:22,594 right in the eye, or he'll freeze you. 283 00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:25,472 Which one? The thing's 90 percent eyes! 284 00:13:25,722 --> 00:13:28,391 - [groans, chews loudly] - It's over there! 285 00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:33,730 He's eating the couch! 286 00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:35,565 Dad won't even let us eat on the couch! 287 00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:37,692 [growls] 288 00:13:39,110 --> 00:13:42,072 - [Milo] Roman, look out! - [growls, grumbles] 289 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:46,952 - Milo! - He saved you. 290 00:13:47,577 --> 00:13:50,288 Well, we're Russos. Russos always have each other's backs. 291 00:13:51,373 --> 00:13:53,166 So, you would have done the same thing for him? 292 00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:56,795 I would have... strongly considered it. 293 00:13:57,879 --> 00:14:00,423 [sighs] We should hide him until I can banish the floogie. 294 00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:02,551 I think if your parents saw their son frozen solid, 295 00:14:02,551 --> 00:14:03,677 it'd be pretty upsetting. 296 00:14:03,969 --> 00:14:05,470 Do you? Do you think that? 297 00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:07,889 What are we gonna do about the couch? 298 00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:11,851 - Oh, nice. - Let's go. 299 00:14:17,107 --> 00:14:18,858 [whispers indistinctly] Where are we hiding the kid? 300 00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,902 An infinity pocket? Bottomless bag? 301 00:14:20,902 --> 00:14:22,988 You know, I can open a portal to the Nowhere Zone. 302 00:14:23,405 --> 00:14:24,698 I'm not sending my little brother 303 00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:26,700 to the Nowhere Zone. He's got a field trip tomorrow. 304 00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:29,202 Help me put him on the bike. 305 00:14:38,837 --> 00:14:41,256 - A helmet? Really? - It's the law! 306 00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:47,804 All right, Giada, we're almost there. [pants] 307 00:14:48,263 --> 00:14:51,600 [whispers] There we go. [grunts] Okay. Sorry. 308 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:56,062 that's... [pants] Oh! Hey, g-- guys. 309 00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:58,898 I didn't know you were... [pants] ...out here. 310 00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:03,987 Oh, yeah, I was just showing Billie the water heater. 311 00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:06,072 - Yeah. - And I was just... 312 00:15:06,323 --> 00:15:09,117 I was just carrying whatever's under this blanket. 313 00:15:09,367 --> 00:15:13,038 [laughs awkwardly] Well, that is some very 314 00:15:13,038 --> 00:15:16,166 normal behavior from the both of us. 315 00:15:16,166 --> 00:15:18,209 - [chuckles] - [inhales sharply] Ta-ta. 316 00:15:19,961 --> 00:15:22,380 Uh, Roman, just real quick, bud. 317 00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:25,091 You haven't seen anything, like, weird going on 318 00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:26,468 around here today, have you? 319 00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:31,848 Uh... No, no, no, no, nothing weird. 320 00:15:32,015 --> 00:15:34,267 Just the regular old boring Russos. 321 00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:36,770 No reason for you to get worked up, Dad. 322 00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:39,272 Wait, wait, wait, you're saying we're boring? You think we're boring? 323 00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:41,441 Oh, yeah, totally, totally the boring-est. 324 00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:44,319 Maybe I could stand to use a little excitement in life. 325 00:15:44,319 --> 00:15:47,030 Well, well, you are not gonna find it here, 326 00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:50,200 because our house is boring central. 327 00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:54,412 [yawns] See, I'm getting bored just talking about it. 328 00:15:55,163 --> 00:15:56,873 [sniffs] See ya. 329 00:16:00,669 --> 00:16:03,963 Not there. Not there. 330 00:16:05,924 --> 00:16:09,302 Not there. [gasps] There you are. 331 00:16:12,263 --> 00:16:14,516 I guess I could start looking for the floogie now. 332 00:16:19,104 --> 00:16:21,648 - Oh, hi, Alex. Bye, Alex. - No, no. 333 00:16:22,691 --> 00:16:26,194 I knew it. You had something to do with the floogie. 334 00:16:26,194 --> 00:16:27,779 This is just like when you put a curse 335 00:16:27,779 --> 00:16:29,364 on Professor Dinklebot's toothbrush. 336 00:16:30,365 --> 00:16:33,535 [laughs] He was shaving his tongue for a month. 337 00:16:33,535 --> 00:16:35,120 - [laughs] That was hilarious. - I know! 338 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:38,164 But no! This is not a laughing matter. 339 00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:41,209 Oh, you made me sound like my mother. Billie, 340 00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,587 Justin is not gonna teach you if he thinks that you're trouble. 341 00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:47,799 - Sounds like a win-win to me. - You don't get it. 342 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,343 This is your last chance. 343 00:16:51,136 --> 00:16:52,887 The Tribunal thinks that you're dangerous 344 00:16:52,887 --> 00:16:54,139 and they wanna take your wand. 345 00:16:54,139 --> 00:16:56,307 But that's not fair. I'm a great wizard. 346 00:16:56,307 --> 00:16:59,102 You're a powerful wizard. There's a difference. 347 00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:02,313 I'm not dangerous, and I'll prove it. I can fix this. 348 00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:06,025 Just stay out of the way. You've done quite enough, young lady. 349 00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:08,361 Who am I right now? 350 00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:13,408 Hey, where are you going? 351 00:17:13,408 --> 00:17:15,410 I'm going upstairs to find that floogie. 352 00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:17,746 What do you think you're doing? 353 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:20,623 Going with you. You mess everything up! 354 00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:23,293 - You clearly need help! - No, I don't! 355 00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:26,755 With magic cast by me alone, I send thee to the Nowhere Zone. 356 00:17:26,755 --> 00:17:27,881 [screams] 357 00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:32,218 Here, floogie, floogie! 358 00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:42,771 Levitatus sofitus. Wow, it's clean under here. 359 00:17:42,771 --> 00:17:44,856 [scoffs] What am I talking about? We're at Justin's house. 360 00:17:44,856 --> 00:17:46,608 Of course he vacuums under the couch. 361 00:17:49,194 --> 00:17:51,321 - [sofa thuds] - I wasn't using magic! 362 00:17:52,655 --> 00:17:56,993 Listen, Alex. I'm sorry that I snapped at you, okay? 363 00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:59,579 It's just, you were talking about all the great stuff 364 00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,998 you're doing, and I got jealous. 365 00:18:02,665 --> 00:18:03,833 Really? Of me? 366 00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:08,129 Yeah. You know, maybe I do miss being a wizard. 367 00:18:09,714 --> 00:18:11,633 I'm so happy to hear you say that. 368 00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:16,471 - Why? - Okay, Billie is an incredibly 369 00:18:16,471 --> 00:18:19,140 powerful wizard, but she's rebellious, 370 00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:22,644 and stubborn and sarcastic. She has no discipline. 371 00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:24,229 [smacks lips] Sounds like someone else I know. 372 00:18:24,229 --> 00:18:25,688 [laughs mockingly] Like me, I get it. 373 00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:28,525 - [chuckles softly] - But I had Dad. 374 00:18:28,525 --> 00:18:31,986 and I had you. Billie has no one. 375 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,906 Every teacher she's ever had has given up on her. 376 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:39,744 - It's kinda why I'm here. I'm-- - No, Alex. No. 377 00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:43,081 I mean, I... I... I... I don't teach wizards anymore. 378 00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:45,667 Justin, you were the youngest headmaster 379 00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:47,293 of WizTech in history. 380 00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,128 Yeah, and then I got fired. 381 00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:52,006 So, what? You just hide out here 382 00:18:52,006 --> 00:18:54,259 in Staten Island and deny who you are? 383 00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:58,054 I don't want my family to know anything about my past. 384 00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,599 So, you're ashamed of being a wizard? 385 00:19:02,225 --> 00:19:05,270 No. A failure. 386 00:19:06,563 --> 00:19:08,147 - [audience sighs] - [sighs] 387 00:19:13,403 --> 00:19:15,613 You only fail if you give up, Justin. 388 00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:20,159 Billie needs a teacher who believes in her. 389 00:19:21,452 --> 00:19:24,873 She needs you, like I needed you. 390 00:19:27,584 --> 00:19:30,461 [clears throat] I don't know if I have it in me to try again. 391 00:19:33,882 --> 00:19:34,966 [sighs] 392 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:39,512 This couch feels two inches further to the left. 393 00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:43,641 - [roars, grumbles] - Billie! 394 00:19:45,059 --> 00:19:46,728 [grumbles] 395 00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:53,610 Alex, there's a gigantic floogie in my kid's room! 396 00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:57,906 Really? Where? Billie, what did you do? 397 00:19:58,281 --> 00:20:00,909 I tried banishing it, but I only made it bigger. Alex, please! 398 00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:04,621 I thought I could do it, but I can't. I was wrong. 399 00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:07,582 Alex, what are you doing!? Banish it for her! 400 00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:10,668 [roars] 401 00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:16,633 - Alex! - [Justin] Don't! Come here! 402 00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:18,968 [roars] 403 00:20:19,928 --> 00:20:21,763 [roars] 404 00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:25,266 What are we gonna do? Alex is the only wizard 405 00:20:25,266 --> 00:20:27,477 strong enough to banish that thing. You do it. 406 00:20:27,477 --> 00:20:28,770 I... I can't do it. 407 00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:31,230 But Alex said you were the best she's ever known. 408 00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:32,899 Would've been nice to hear that from her. 409 00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:35,151 [growls] 410 00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:38,363 Listen to me. You have to do this, okay? Only you can. 411 00:20:38,363 --> 00:20:40,156 I already tried, but I failed. 412 00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:41,658 [breathes heavily] 413 00:20:43,201 --> 00:20:45,078 A wise wizard once told me, you only fail if you give up. 414 00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:47,747 Now, what were you thinking when you summoned it? 415 00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:49,499 Guess I just thought of the floogie, the closet, 416 00:20:49,499 --> 00:20:51,292 and then I said the spell, and it was there. 417 00:20:51,292 --> 00:20:52,961 - [roars] - [Billie screams] 418 00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:55,880 Just focus, okay? Clear your mind. 419 00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:57,715 I told you, I can't. 420 00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:00,718 My teachers were right not to believe in me. 421 00:21:02,512 --> 00:21:06,140 No. No, no, no. [stammers] You just had the wrong teachers. 422 00:21:06,140 --> 00:21:09,227 Okay? Hey, you got this, all right? 423 00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:11,521 I believe in you, okay? 424 00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:14,023 Think of the place you wanna send the floogie. 425 00:21:14,357 --> 00:21:16,901 And repeat after me. [inhales, exhales sharply] 426 00:21:17,902 --> 00:21:21,406 With magic strong and words of power. 427 00:21:21,406 --> 00:21:24,534 - [growls] - [grunts, groans] 428 00:21:24,909 --> 00:21:26,577 [growls] 429 00:21:26,577 --> 00:21:28,204 We banish you, floogie, at this hour. 430 00:21:28,204 --> 00:21:29,330 [growls] 431 00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:30,957 We banish you, floogie, at this hour. 432 00:21:30,957 --> 00:21:32,375 [growls] 433 00:21:34,127 --> 00:21:36,045 - [growls] - Now, together. 434 00:21:36,421 --> 00:21:37,922 Back to the road from whence you came, 435 00:21:37,922 --> 00:21:39,298 and never ever more remain. 436 00:21:42,677 --> 00:21:44,095 [grumbles] 437 00:21:49,559 --> 00:21:51,144 - [gasps happily] - [gasps] We did it! 438 00:21:53,271 --> 00:21:56,357 - You did it. - And I knew that you could. 439 00:21:58,359 --> 00:21:59,360 Justin taught me. 440 00:21:59,736 --> 00:22:01,571 Oh, thought you don't teach anymore. 441 00:22:02,530 --> 00:22:04,323 Wait, did you let yourself get frozen on purpose 442 00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:05,700 so I'd have to step in and instruct her, 443 00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:07,243 thus rediscovering my love of teaching? 444 00:22:08,369 --> 00:22:10,538 That would've been a really smart plan. [laughs] 445 00:22:10,788 --> 00:22:12,206 Well, and I don't know if you did or you didn't. 446 00:22:12,206 --> 00:22:14,083 [smacks lips] That's just the way I want it. 447 00:22:18,629 --> 00:22:20,339 I was hanging on my bike forever. 448 00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:22,967 I'm gonna have to put lotion on my tender parts. 449 00:22:24,093 --> 00:22:25,970 She trapped me in the Nowhere Zone. 450 00:22:26,429 --> 00:22:27,972 I saw things I can't forget. 451 00:22:28,514 --> 00:22:30,933 They don't have a lotion for your brain, Milo. 452 00:22:31,851 --> 00:22:32,935 Actually, they do. 453 00:22:34,145 --> 00:22:34,812 But the worm that makes it has to crawl in 454 00:22:34,812 --> 00:22:35,980 through your earhole. 455 00:22:37,648 --> 00:22:40,109 But for real, thanks for trying to help me. 456 00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:42,320 Thanks for saving my family. 457 00:22:43,613 --> 00:22:45,031 I mean, you are the one that put them in danger, 458 00:22:45,031 --> 00:22:47,075 but... thanks. 459 00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:50,328 It was so weird. I-- I'm in the kitchen, 460 00:22:50,536 --> 00:22:51,746 and the next thing I know, 461 00:22:51,746 --> 00:22:53,539 I'm in the garage with a blanket over my head. 462 00:22:53,539 --> 00:22:55,917 [scoffs] That is weird. 463 00:22:57,335 --> 00:22:58,461 You know, it's probably best 464 00:22:58,461 --> 00:23:00,004 to just forget about it and move on. 465 00:23:02,423 --> 00:23:04,634 You know, I could hit her with a little cerebellum erasus 466 00:23:04,634 --> 00:23:05,802 and erase her memory. 467 00:23:05,802 --> 00:23:07,178 Keep your wand out of my wife's head. 468 00:23:10,181 --> 00:23:12,058 So, Milo, I've been thinking. 469 00:23:12,517 --> 00:23:14,477 Um, now that we know that wizards are real, 470 00:23:14,477 --> 00:23:15,603 and monsters are real... 471 00:23:15,603 --> 00:23:17,480 I already knew that, but continue. 472 00:23:19,857 --> 00:23:21,984 I've, uh, I've decided to stay in our room. 473 00:23:22,360 --> 00:23:24,237 You know, for when you get scared. 474 00:23:24,529 --> 00:23:26,114 When he gets scared or when you get scared? 475 00:23:27,073 --> 00:23:30,451 When are you leaving? Hey, Dad, when is she leaving? 476 00:23:30,827 --> 00:23:33,538 Actually, I was thinking she could, uh, stay with us 477 00:23:33,538 --> 00:23:34,622 for a little while. 478 00:23:35,790 --> 00:23:37,667 - Are you sure? - Yeah, Dad, are you sure? 479 00:23:39,544 --> 00:23:40,586 What do you think? 480 00:23:41,796 --> 00:23:45,299 [sighs] I think I could learn a lot here. 481 00:23:46,634 --> 00:23:48,094 - [chuckles lightly] - And Giada's cool with this? 482 00:23:48,094 --> 00:23:49,470 - Totally. - You didn't ask her. 483 00:23:49,679 --> 00:23:51,097 - I didn't. - [audience laughs] 484 00:23:52,348 --> 00:23:54,225 Can't believe you're staying. 485 00:23:55,852 --> 00:23:57,228 You know, I thought the face you made 486 00:23:57,228 --> 00:23:59,105 when you saw the floogie was my favourite. 487 00:23:59,522 --> 00:24:00,982 But now it's this one. 488 00:24:00,982 --> 00:24:02,942 This one is definitely my favorite. 489 00:24:04,527 --> 00:24:06,195 Happy birthday, J-Man. 490 00:24:06,195 --> 00:24:07,572 - Aw. - Happy birthday! 491 00:24:07,780 --> 00:24:09,657 Oh, right, it's your birthday. [chuckles] 492 00:24:14,036 --> 00:24:16,289 If I'm gonna train you, it can't be here. 493 00:24:16,289 --> 00:24:17,415 - Why not? - [clicks tongue] 494 00:24:17,415 --> 00:24:19,208 His family doesn't know about wizards. 495 00:24:20,168 --> 00:24:23,212 Right! [laughs] Yes, they do not know about wizards, 496 00:24:23,212 --> 00:24:25,464 'cause I didn't tell them. So, unless you told them-- 497 00:24:25,464 --> 00:24:27,466 You know, that is a really nice cardigan. 498 00:24:29,468 --> 00:24:30,595 Thank you. [chuckles] 499 00:24:31,888 --> 00:24:34,307 [clears throat] Alex, will you do the honors? 500 00:24:34,557 --> 00:24:36,475 - Mm-hm. - [mystical whooshing] 501 00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:47,904 The old lair, this takes me back. [chuckles] 502 00:24:47,904 --> 00:24:49,822 [exhales] Oh! 503 00:24:59,749 --> 00:25:02,877 Hello, Wandy. My old friend. 504 00:25:04,503 --> 00:25:05,922 [audience claps and cheers] 505 00:25:07,006 --> 00:25:08,799 You know, I thought you were just bringing me 506 00:25:08,799 --> 00:25:10,092 to another teacher who doesn't care. 507 00:25:10,635 --> 00:25:13,638 But, I was wrong. Thanks for believing in me. 508 00:25:13,846 --> 00:25:16,682 Of course. Us rebels, we gotta stick together. 509 00:25:16,682 --> 00:25:18,434 - [chuckles softly] - Look, I have to go back 510 00:25:18,434 --> 00:25:19,810 to the Tribunal. Are you good? 511 00:25:20,144 --> 00:25:21,812 Don't worry. I'll be okay here. 512 00:25:22,188 --> 00:25:24,232 Zippo zap, zippo zee, zippo zeria! 513 00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:28,903 [laughs, blows] Still got it. 514 00:25:30,238 --> 00:25:33,074 Okay, good, good, because there's one thing I, um, 515 00:25:33,074 --> 00:25:34,951 kind of sort of forgot to mention. 516 00:25:34,951 --> 00:25:37,203 Nothing big, just this teeny tiny, 517 00:25:37,203 --> 00:25:39,538 but very real prophecy about the end of the world, 518 00:25:39,538 --> 00:25:41,290 and Billie being the only one who can save us. 519 00:25:42,625 --> 00:25:44,126 The fate of the world is in her hands? 520 00:25:44,126 --> 00:25:45,503 [electricity zaps] 521 00:25:45,711 --> 00:25:47,255 Well, technically, it's in your hands. 522 00:25:48,923 --> 00:25:50,174 You make sure she's ready, 523 00:25:50,174 --> 00:25:52,551 and I'll figure out what she needs to be ready for. 524 00:25:53,344 --> 00:25:54,553 - Thank you. - [sighs] 525 00:25:56,055 --> 00:25:57,056 For everything. 526 00:25:58,015 --> 00:25:59,725 Russos always have each other's backs. 527 00:26:00,309 --> 00:26:02,311 - Well, don't blow it, J-Man. - [sighs] 528 00:26:07,650 --> 00:26:09,485 I've missed this. [chuckles softly] 529 00:26:15,074 --> 00:26:17,285 "Don't blow it, J-Man." What'd she mean by that? 530 00:26:18,327 --> 00:26:19,745 Uh, well, I, uh... 531 00:26:20,705 --> 00:26:22,081 I think we should get started. [chuckles] 532 00:26:22,748 --> 00:26:27,044 ♪ Everything is not what it seems ♪