1 00:00:08,883 --> 00:00:10,510 [Milo] Hey, Roman, are you sleeping? 2 00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:12,762 Yes. 3 00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:15,056 [Milo] Okay, cool. 4 00:00:15,765 --> 00:00:16,850 Hey, Roman? 5 00:00:17,767 --> 00:00:20,228 - What? [sighs] - Is the monster gone? 6 00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:23,648 [sighs] We've talked about this, okay? 7 00:00:23,773 --> 00:00:26,568 There is no monster! 8 00:00:28,653 --> 00:00:30,739 Why'd you scream? You scared me. 9 00:00:31,322 --> 00:00:35,075 I scared you? [scoffs] Look, tha-- that's it, okay? 10 00:00:35,076 --> 00:00:37,787 I'm too old to be living with a kid who believes in monsters. 11 00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:40,290 Remember what Gladys at the dry cleaners said? 12 00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:42,207 That's the most ketchup she's ever cleaned out 13 00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:43,334 of a young man's pants? 14 00:00:44,335 --> 00:00:46,421 Exactly. "A young man." 15 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,506 And a young man, needs his own room. 16 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,550 N-- I'm talking to Mom and Dad. 17 00:00:56,264 --> 00:00:57,432 Well, that's new. 18 00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:03,396 Oh, hey, kid. Is this the Russo house? 19 00:01:03,813 --> 00:01:05,231 What are you doing in my mirror? 20 00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:07,484 That's how we get places. I'm a wizard. 21 00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:09,194 Where's your robe and pointy hat? 22 00:01:09,652 --> 00:01:12,322 [chuckles] Let me clarify. I'm a wizard with style. 23 00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:20,038 [female voice] Billie, we can't go in that way. 24 00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:23,041 Wait! Who else is in there? 25 00:01:23,958 --> 00:01:25,376 Should I be changing in the bathroom? 26 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,630 - Okay, Milo. - Roman. 27 00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:29,923 There's something I gotta tell you. 28 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:33,718 Me first, okay? [inhales] Maybe I flew off the handle. 29 00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,428 Not gonna move out. 30 00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:38,848 But promise me, no more crazy made-up stories. 31 00:01:38,973 --> 00:01:43,228 - There's a wizard in our mirror! - Dad, I need my own room! 32 00:01:45,688 --> 00:01:46,815 [theme song playing] 33 00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:49,858 {\an8}♪ Everything is not what it seems ♪ 34 00:01:49,859 --> 00:01:51,694 {\an8}♪ When you can have what you want ♪ 35 00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:53,488 {\an8}♪ By the simplest of means ♪ 36 00:01:53,696 --> 00:01:56,574 {\an8}♪ Be careful not to mess with the balance of things ♪ 37 00:01:56,741 --> 00:02:01,286 {\an8}♪ Because everything is not what it seems ♪ 38 00:02:01,287 --> 00:02:03,413 ♪ You might run into trouble if you go to extremes ♪ 39 00:02:03,414 --> 00:02:06,292 ♪ Because everything is not what it seems ♪ 40 00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:08,086 ♪ Yes, please ♪ 41 00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:11,798 - ♪ What it seems ♪ - [theme song concludes] 42 00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:20,098 {\an8}Oh! Hey there, good looking. 43 00:02:21,432 --> 00:02:22,475 {\an8}[exhales] Why, yes. 44 00:02:22,642 --> 00:02:26,354 {\an8}It is my birthday today. Yeah, 34. 45 00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:27,814 [grunts] 46 00:02:29,607 --> 00:02:31,776 Oh, you think the J-Man's still got it? [exhales] 47 00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:35,904 {\an8}- I think you still got it. - [gasps, laughs] Giada. 48 00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:38,241 [inhales] You're awake. That's fun. 49 00:02:39,784 --> 00:02:41,327 Happy birthday, J-Man. 50 00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:43,912 You remembered my birthday. 51 00:02:43,913 --> 00:02:45,038 {\an8}How could I forget? 52 00:02:45,039 --> 00:02:47,125 {\an8}You sent me four calendar invites. 53 00:02:48,042 --> 00:02:50,044 {\an8}Well, you do know that coordinating family logistics 54 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,921 {\an8}- is my love language. - [laughs] 55 00:02:52,463 --> 00:02:54,966 Gross! Get a room! 56 00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:56,718 This is our room. 57 00:02:57,594 --> 00:03:00,221 Hey, guys! Anything you wanna say to me today? 58 00:03:00,346 --> 00:03:03,308 Oh, thank you for asking. I need my own room. 59 00:03:03,808 --> 00:03:06,394 No, like anything you want to, uh, wish me? 60 00:03:06,769 --> 00:03:09,314 I wish you would give me my own room. 61 00:03:11,274 --> 00:03:13,234 {\an8}Look what I woke up to this morning. 62 00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:15,235 {\an8}It's so the monster in the closet will think 63 00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:17,197 {\an8}I'm a monster and go after Roman. 64 00:03:17,947 --> 00:03:19,782 Savage. Gets that from my side. 65 00:03:21,409 --> 00:03:24,077 {\an8}Mom, don't encourage him. You should be telling him 66 00:03:24,078 --> 00:03:25,747 {\an8}there's no such thing as monsters. 67 00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:27,248 {\an8}Back me up on this, Dad. 68 00:03:27,373 --> 00:03:28,624 {\an8}Absolutely, buddy. 69 00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:30,667 {\an8}There is no such thing as monsters. 70 00:03:30,668 --> 00:03:32,128 {\an8}And I should know, 'cause I was not 71 00:03:32,253 --> 00:03:33,546 {\an8}a monster hunter when I was your age. 72 00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:35,131 {\an8}You were a monster hunter? 73 00:03:35,298 --> 00:03:38,300 {\an8}No! No, I was very clear when I said I was not 74 00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:40,178 {\an8}a monster hunter, okay? I couldn't have been, 75 00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:41,346 because I'm not a wizard. 76 00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:44,015 [chuckles, inhales deeply] What are we even talking about? 77 00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:49,312 Is Dad having a midlife crisis? Are you getting a tattoo? 78 00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:50,647 Ooh, are you? 79 00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:53,191 - No, and I am not midlife-- - M'kay. 80 00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:54,859 Guys, I turned 34 today. 81 00:03:55,109 --> 00:03:56,110 It's your birthday? 82 00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:58,446 Be honest with me, does no one check the family calendar? 83 00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:02,157 We all love the calendar, big fans of the calendar. Okay. 84 00:04:02,158 --> 00:04:05,119 Boys, go get dressed. I think your dad needs a moment. 85 00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:08,247 Listen, don't freak out, 86 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,874 but I got you a little surprise for your birthday. 87 00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:11,751 But... I don't like surprises. 88 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,127 Oh, you're gonna like this one. 89 00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:16,588 Okay, I can handle this. Maybe liking surprises 90 00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:18,465 will be a new thing for me. Yeah, yeah. 91 00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:20,468 [inhales] Oh, who am I kidding? Giada! 92 00:04:25,306 --> 00:04:26,474 Let's just go in this way. 93 00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:28,726 [female voice] No, we have to use the front door. 94 00:04:29,018 --> 00:04:32,188 [scoffs] Like a mortal? Aw, man, nobody better see me. 95 00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:38,987 Giada! Hey, um, uh, yeah... 96 00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:42,072 Giada, why-- why don't you tell me what it is, okay? 97 00:04:42,073 --> 00:04:43,448 And you'll be like, "Surprise!" 98 00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:46,076 And then I'll be like, "No freaking way!" [chuckles] 99 00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:48,079 - Gia-- Huh? - [doorbell rings] 100 00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:53,418 Look who's using the front door just like one of you people. 101 00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:56,546 Surprise! 102 00:05:02,176 --> 00:05:03,594 No freaking way. 103 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,597 I know, I look fantastic, don't I? 104 00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:09,934 Alex, [stammers] are you here for my birthday? 105 00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:13,771 It's your... It-- uh... It's your birthday! That's why... 106 00:05:13,938 --> 00:05:15,439 - That's why I came, you know? - [Justin] Aw. 107 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,066 That's why we're here. We came for your birthday. 108 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:21,404 You dragged me here for your brother's birthday? 109 00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:22,863 No, I brought you here, 110 00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:24,532 so you can meet your new wizard teacher. 111 00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:27,243 I don't need a new teacher. They never believe in me anyway. 112 00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:30,413 [inhales] Well, this one will. He's the best I've ever known. 113 00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:32,165 - [sighs] - Annoyingly. But... 114 00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:33,915 I just have to find a way to ask him. 115 00:05:33,916 --> 00:05:35,418 He can be a little high-strung. 116 00:05:35,626 --> 00:05:37,003 Did you guys track this dirt in? 117 00:05:40,131 --> 00:05:41,632 Okay, a lot high-strung. 118 00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:46,220 So, you're the guy who owns all the sandwich shops? 119 00:05:46,387 --> 00:05:47,388 Like, the billionaire? 120 00:05:47,638 --> 00:05:49,432 Uh, no. That would be Max. 121 00:05:49,557 --> 00:05:51,183 I'm a middle school vice principal, which some 122 00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:53,311 would say is much cooler than being a billionaire. 123 00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:54,812 - Nobody says that. - I would never say that. 124 00:05:56,814 --> 00:05:58,983 Uh, and Alex, who is this? 125 00:05:59,275 --> 00:06:02,987 Oh, um, this is Billie. She's... with me. 126 00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:05,573 Well, that clears everything up. 127 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,576 - Aunt Alex! - Oh, my gosh! Hi, guys! 128 00:06:09,577 --> 00:06:12,621 How are you? I bought you presents. 129 00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:14,082 Because I'm the coolest aunt, like ever. 130 00:06:14,248 --> 00:06:15,666 - [Roman] Oh! Shirts. - So... 131 00:06:16,834 --> 00:06:18,544 - [Roman] Straight outta WizTech. - Alex. 132 00:06:19,128 --> 00:06:20,546 Can I speak with you in private? 133 00:06:24,258 --> 00:06:26,219 That's the wizard girl from our mirror. 134 00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:27,720 Dude, you're gonna weird her out. 135 00:06:27,970 --> 00:06:29,597 Hey, what kind of mileage does this thing get? 136 00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:34,060 Okay, maybe she's gonna weird us out. 137 00:06:36,437 --> 00:06:37,647 Uh, what are these? 138 00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:39,857 Uh, hilarious novelty tees. 139 00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:42,235 About wizards. 140 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:45,862 - Well, we are wizards. - [shushes] 141 00:06:45,863 --> 00:06:47,907 Okay, we're talking over here now. 142 00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:51,327 Remember how the last time we talked, 143 00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:53,496 you asked me when I was going to tell Giada and the kids 144 00:06:53,621 --> 00:06:55,081 that I was from a family of wizards? 145 00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:58,376 - Yeah. - Well, I kinda sort of haven't. 146 00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:01,379 You're still lying to your family, Justin? I'm... 147 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,381 I'm so proud of you. 148 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:07,427 I'm not lying, Alex. Technically, I'm not a wizard. 149 00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:09,719 Okay? Anymore. I haven't picked up a wand 150 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:10,972 since I got fired from WizTech. 151 00:07:11,389 --> 00:07:13,306 Oh... Yeah. The unicorn incident. 152 00:07:13,307 --> 00:07:15,142 - That was hilarious-- Awful. - Awful! 153 00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:17,687 It was so awful. That's what I was trying to say. 154 00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:22,150 Uh, but don't you miss it? You know, teaching wizards? 155 00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:25,862 [scoffs] No. I don't even think about it every day. 156 00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:29,782 - You just said every day. - Yes, I didn't. 157 00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:34,454 Look, okay? Just while you're here, 158 00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:37,582 no talk about magic and no wizard talk, okay? 159 00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:41,461 Fine. What exactly does your family think I do for a living? 160 00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:42,837 Professional dog walker. 161 00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:48,217 I want to be offended, but I do love dogs, so... 162 00:07:49,051 --> 00:07:50,636 All right, fine. I won't blow your cover. 163 00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:53,347 Thank you. And what about Billie? Is she cool? 164 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:54,514 I promise. 165 00:07:54,515 --> 00:07:57,477 Billie definitely won't say anything about being a wizard. 166 00:07:57,768 --> 00:07:58,811 I'm a wizard! 167 00:08:01,230 --> 00:08:03,941 - I told you. - Milo, she's not a wizard. 168 00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:05,485 I know you didn't just say that. 169 00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:07,570 There's no such thing as wizards. 170 00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:09,238 And I know you did not just say that. 171 00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,073 It's not personal. He doesn't believe me 172 00:08:12,074 --> 00:08:13,825 about the monster in our closet either. 173 00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:15,495 Uh-- Because monsters aren't real, 174 00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:17,246 just like wizards aren't real. 175 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,499 Okay, smart guy, show me your closet then. 176 00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:22,417 Fine, but all that's gonna prove is that I have 177 00:08:22,418 --> 00:08:23,711 great taste in cardigans. 178 00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:29,592 There it is. There's the closet. 179 00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:30,843 Open it up. 180 00:08:30,968 --> 00:08:33,304 This is your dumb thing. You open it. 181 00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:36,224 I'm not opening it. I like being alive. 182 00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:39,185 Well, guess you're both too scared to open it. 183 00:08:39,435 --> 00:08:41,437 I am. Thought I was clear about that. 184 00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:43,940 Hey, fine, I'll open it. 185 00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:47,318 [softly] From the place where dark beasts dwell, 186 00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:49,529 I summon a floogie with this spell. 187 00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:53,156 Get ready to not see... [screams] 188 00:08:53,157 --> 00:08:55,618 - [growls] - [screams] 189 00:08:58,371 --> 00:08:59,497 Why are you laughing?! 190 00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:02,542 Because, you said monsters aren't real, 191 00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:05,795 so I conjured one, 'cause I'm a wizard, ahwandra. 192 00:09:06,879 --> 00:09:08,798 [growling and grumbling] 193 00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:12,385 Please tell me there's a spell to make it go away. 194 00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:14,929 There is, I just don't know it. 195 00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:18,891 You don't know how to send it back? 196 00:09:19,141 --> 00:09:20,560 Then why did you conjure it? 197 00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:22,853 - 'Cause you said I couldn't. - You can't argue with the logic. 198 00:09:24,772 --> 00:09:26,190 - [growls] - [shushes] 199 00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:29,026 I don't hear anything. 200 00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:34,407 See? Uh, maybe the monster went away on its own? 201 00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:37,034 Yeah, that definitely happens. Go check it out. 202 00:09:40,204 --> 00:09:41,872 - [growls] - [screams] 203 00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:45,960 [laughs] You checked it out? What is wrong with you? 204 00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:48,087 Me? We didn't have a monster 205 00:09:48,212 --> 00:09:50,046 in the closet until you came along! 206 00:09:50,047 --> 00:09:52,174 - Actually-- - Not now, Milo! 207 00:09:56,721 --> 00:09:57,847 My dad cannot find out 208 00:09:57,972 --> 00:09:59,181 there's a monster running around the house. 209 00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:00,600 - It'll-- - Ruin his birthday. 210 00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:04,729 His birthday? If Justin Russo finds out wizards are real, 211 00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:07,064 - his head's gonna explode! - Cool. 212 00:10:08,065 --> 00:10:09,775 Why did you bring that... that... 213 00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:11,402 - Floogie. - ...that floogie here, 214 00:10:11,527 --> 00:10:12,569 if you couldn't get rid of it? 215 00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:14,155 'Cause I didn't know I couldn't get rid of it 216 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:15,364 until I brought it here. 217 00:10:16,657 --> 00:10:18,951 You need to go back to... wizard school. 218 00:10:19,368 --> 00:10:20,786 Well, I can't, 'cause I got kicked out. 219 00:10:22,371 --> 00:10:24,582 It's not my fault my teachers don't believe in me. 220 00:10:24,832 --> 00:10:26,834 But I don't need them. I don't need anyone. 221 00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:28,502 We definitely need someone. 222 00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:33,549 No, we don't. I can fix this. 223 00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:35,259 I'll get rid of the floogie myself. 224 00:10:36,260 --> 00:10:37,261 Please. 225 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,554 All right, fine. But if that thing 226 00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:40,848 poops in the house, you're cleaning it up. 227 00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:43,601 Oh, they don't poop. They flarf. It's way worse. 228 00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:50,232 So, hypothetically, yeah, I use words like hypothetically now, 229 00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:53,401 what would you say if someone were to ask you 230 00:10:53,402 --> 00:10:54,612 to go back to teaching magic? 231 00:10:54,945 --> 00:10:56,530 Alex, what is this all about? 232 00:10:57,073 --> 00:11:00,533 Oh! Sorry I took so long. Mr. Kopecky from next door 233 00:11:00,534 --> 00:11:02,828 forced me to look at pictures of his grandson. 234 00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:05,373 Now, I would never say that a baby is ugly, 235 00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,333 but this baby, it looks like a foot. 236 00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:10,920 - Alex! [scoffs] - Hey, Giada. 237 00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:12,171 What are you doing here? 238 00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:15,466 Giada, come on. I know that Alex is my birthday surprise. 239 00:11:15,591 --> 00:11:16,883 Whoa, babe, I would never ambush you 240 00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:18,177 with family and call it a present. 241 00:11:18,761 --> 00:11:20,388 So, Alex, how's work? 242 00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:22,807 Uh, work's great. I'm on the Tribunal now. 243 00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:26,769 - You're on the Tribunal? - There's a dog-walking tribunal? 244 00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:29,438 Yeah. Yeah, they were like, 245 00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:33,942 "Alex, there are some pretty bad dogs out there, and... 246 00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:36,278 and you're the only one that can help." 247 00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:39,365 Oh, you're the only one, huh? You? 248 00:11:40,616 --> 00:11:42,409 Yeah. Why is it so hard to believe? 249 00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:43,786 I mean, I am the family... 250 00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:45,705 dog walker. 251 00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:49,041 But I practically taught you how to walk those dogs. 252 00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,627 If anyone should have been on the Tribunal, we both know 253 00:11:51,752 --> 00:11:53,045 that it should have been moi. 254 00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:56,464 Okay. Well, if you wanted to make the Tribunal so badly, 255 00:11:56,465 --> 00:11:57,967 maybe you shouldn't have hung up your leash. 256 00:11:58,300 --> 00:11:59,926 Okay, you know, well, this is getting awkward. 257 00:11:59,927 --> 00:12:02,221 Is anybody thirsty? I'm not, but I'm gonna leave anyway. 258 00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:05,474 Dude, what's your problem? 259 00:12:05,599 --> 00:12:07,810 I thought you were happy you left wizarding behind. 260 00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:11,856 I am, okay? I like my quiet, predictable, no surprises life. 261 00:12:12,231 --> 00:12:14,900 Then why are you acting like you have flarf for brains? 262 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:18,028 First, we don't use that kind of language in this house. 263 00:12:20,030 --> 00:12:22,533 And second, if you're not my birthday surprise, 264 00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:24,076 what are you doing here, Alex? 265 00:12:24,660 --> 00:12:29,164 Okay fine. Um, Billie is one of the most extraordinary wizards 266 00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:30,916 - I've ever met. But she needs... - [glass shattering] 267 00:12:32,209 --> 00:12:33,210 What was that? 268 00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:37,006 [gasps] Giada! 269 00:12:39,508 --> 00:12:42,178 [gasps, grunts] 270 00:12:43,220 --> 00:12:44,513 This looks like a floogie freeze. 271 00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:47,557 Oh, look at you remembering your class-three monsters. 272 00:12:47,558 --> 00:12:48,558 Just like old times. 273 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:49,852 - When we were little, I used-- - Oh, no. 274 00:12:49,977 --> 00:12:52,772 No, no, no, no, no. No. You said you wouldn't do magic. 275 00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:54,523 - I didn't do this. It... - [sighs] 276 00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:57,151 - Billie... - This is classic Alex. 277 00:12:57,568 --> 00:12:59,445 You're here for five minutes and I got a floogie infestation, 278 00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:01,030 and just look at my beautiful wife! 279 00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:07,119 I'll handle this. After all, I am the family dog walker. 280 00:13:09,163 --> 00:13:12,041 The only way to unfreeze her is to banish the floogie back where it came from. 281 00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:16,128 I know, but thank you for the refresher because... I forgot. 282 00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:21,424 Whatever you do, do not look the floogie 283 00:13:21,425 --> 00:13:23,093 right in the eye, or he'll freeze you. 284 00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:25,971 Which one? The thing's 90 percent eyes! 285 00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:28,891 - [groans, chews loudly] - It's over there! 286 00:13:32,978 --> 00:13:34,230 He's eating the couch! 287 00:13:34,438 --> 00:13:36,065 Dad won't even let us eat on the couch! 288 00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:38,192 [growls] 289 00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:42,571 - [Milo] Roman, look out! - [growls, grumbles] 290 00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:47,451 - Milo! - He saved you. 291 00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:50,788 Well, we're Russos. Russos always have each other's backs. 292 00:13:51,872 --> 00:13:53,666 So, you would have done the same thing for him? 293 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:57,294 I would have... strongly considered it. 294 00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:00,923 [sighs] We should hide him until I can banish the floogie. 295 00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:03,008 I think if your parents saw their son frozen solid, 296 00:14:03,133 --> 00:14:04,176 it'd be pretty upsetting. 297 00:14:04,468 --> 00:14:05,970 Do you? Do you think that? 298 00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:08,430 What are we gonna do about the couch? 299 00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:12,351 - Oh, nice. - Let's go. 300 00:14:16,772 --> 00:14:19,066 [whispers indistinctly] Where are we hiding the kid? 301 00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:21,401 An infinity pocket? Bottomless bag? 302 00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:23,487 You know, I can open a portal to the Nowhere Zone. 303 00:14:23,904 --> 00:14:25,196 I'm not sending my little brother 304 00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:27,199 to the Nowhere Zone. He's got a field trip tomorrow. 305 00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:29,702 Help me put him on the bike. 306 00:14:39,336 --> 00:14:41,755 - A helmet? Really? - It's the law! 307 00:14:45,509 --> 00:14:48,304 All right, Giada, we're almost there. [pants] 308 00:14:48,762 --> 00:14:52,098 [whispers] There we go. [grunts] Okay. Sorry. 309 00:14:52,099 --> 00:14:56,562 that's... [pants] Oh! Hey, g-- guys. 310 00:14:57,313 --> 00:14:59,398 I didn't know you were... [pants] ...out here. 311 00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:04,445 Oh, yeah, I was just showing Billie the water heater. 312 00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,572 - Yeah. - And I was just... 313 00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:09,617 I was just carrying whatever's under this blanket. 314 00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:13,495 [laughs awkwardly] Well, that is some very 315 00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:16,582 normal behavior from the both of us. 316 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:18,709 - [chuckles] - [inhales sharply] Ta-ta. 317 00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:22,880 Uh, Roman, just real quick, bud. 318 00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:25,590 You haven't seen anything, like, weird going on 319 00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:26,967 around here today, have you? 320 00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:32,348 Uh... No, no, no, no, nothing weird. 321 00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:34,767 Just the regular old boring Russos. 322 00:15:35,225 --> 00:15:37,269 No reason for you to get worked up, Dad. 323 00:15:37,811 --> 00:15:39,772 Wait, wait, wait, you're saying we're boring? You think we're boring? 324 00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:41,941 Oh, yeah, totally, totally the boring-est. 325 00:15:42,816 --> 00:15:44,777 Maybe I could stand to use a little excitement in life. 326 00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:47,528 Well, well, you are not gonna find it here, 327 00:15:47,529 --> 00:15:50,699 because our house is boring central. 328 00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:54,912 [yawns] See, I'm getting bored just talking about it. 329 00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:57,373 [sniffs] See ya. 330 00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:04,463 Not there. Not there. 331 00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:09,802 Not there. [gasps] There you are. 332 00:16:12,763 --> 00:16:15,015 I guess I could start looking for the floogie now. 333 00:16:19,603 --> 00:16:22,147 - Oh, hi, Alex. Bye, Alex. - No, no. 334 00:16:23,190 --> 00:16:26,610 I knew it. You had something to do with the floogie. 335 00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:28,277 This is just like when you put a curse 336 00:16:28,278 --> 00:16:29,863 on Professor Dinklebot's toothbrush. 337 00:16:30,864 --> 00:16:33,993 [laughs] He was shaving his tongue for a month. 338 00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:35,618 - [laughs] That was hilarious. - I know! 339 00:16:35,619 --> 00:16:38,664 But no! This is not a laughing matter. 340 00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:41,709 Oh, you made me sound like my mother. Billie, 341 00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:45,087 Justin is not gonna teach you if he thinks that you're trouble. 342 00:16:45,754 --> 00:16:48,298 - Sounds like a win-win to me. - You don't get it. 343 00:16:49,299 --> 00:16:50,843 This is your last chance. 344 00:16:51,635 --> 00:16:53,386 The Tribunal thinks that you're dangerous 345 00:16:53,387 --> 00:16:54,637 and they wanna take your wand. 346 00:16:54,638 --> 00:16:56,765 But that's not fair. I'm a great wizard. 347 00:16:56,890 --> 00:16:59,601 You're a powerful wizard. There's a difference. 348 00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:02,730 I'm not dangerous, and I'll prove it. I can fix this. 349 00:17:02,896 --> 00:17:06,525 Just stay out of the way. You've done quite enough, young lady. 350 00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:08,861 Who am I right now? 351 00:17:12,364 --> 00:17:13,866 Hey, where are you going? 352 00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:15,909 I'm going upstairs to find that floogie. 353 00:17:17,161 --> 00:17:18,245 What do you think you're doing? 354 00:17:18,537 --> 00:17:21,123 Going with you. You mess everything up! 355 00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:23,792 - You clearly need help! - No, I don't! 356 00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:27,253 With magic cast by me alone, I send thee to the Nowhere Zone. 357 00:17:27,254 --> 00:17:28,380 [screams] 358 00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:32,718 Here, floogie, floogie! 359 00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:43,228 Levitatus sofitus. Wow, it's clean under here. 360 00:17:43,353 --> 00:17:45,354 [scoffs] What am I talking about? We're at Justin's house. 361 00:17:45,355 --> 00:17:47,107 Of course he vacuums under the couch. 362 00:17:49,693 --> 00:17:51,820 - [sofa thuds] - I wasn't using magic! 363 00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:57,451 Listen, Alex. I'm sorry that I snapped at you, okay? 364 00:17:57,576 --> 00:18:00,078 It's just, you were talking about all the great stuff 365 00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:02,498 you're doing, and I got jealous. 366 00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:04,333 Really? Of me? 367 00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:08,629 Yeah. You know, maybe I do miss being a wizard. 368 00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:12,132 I'm so happy to hear you say that. 369 00:18:13,258 --> 00:18:16,929 - Why? - Okay, Billie is an incredibly 370 00:18:17,054 --> 00:18:19,556 powerful wizard, but she's rebellious, 371 00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:23,143 and stubborn and sarcastic. She has no discipline. 372 00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:24,645 [smacks lips] Sounds like someone else I know. 373 00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:26,188 [laughs mockingly] Like me, I get it. 374 00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:29,023 - [chuckles softly] - But I had Dad. 375 00:18:29,024 --> 00:18:32,486 and I had you. Billie has no one. 376 00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:35,405 Every teacher she's ever had has given up on her. 377 00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:40,244 - It's kinda why I'm here. I'm-- - No, Alex. No. 378 00:18:40,494 --> 00:18:43,580 I mean, I... I... I... I don't teach wizards anymore. 379 00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:46,125 Justin, you were the youngest headmaster 380 00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:47,793 of WizTech in history. 381 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,628 Yeah, and then I got fired. 382 00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:52,505 So, what? You just hide out here 383 00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:54,758 in Staten Island and deny who you are? 384 00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:58,554 I don't want my family to know anything about my past. 385 00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:02,099 So, you're ashamed of being a wizard? 386 00:19:02,724 --> 00:19:05,769 No. A failure. 387 00:19:07,062 --> 00:19:08,647 - [audience sighs] - [sighs] 388 00:19:13,902 --> 00:19:16,113 You only fail if you give up, Justin. 389 00:19:18,282 --> 00:19:20,659 Billie needs a teacher who believes in her. 390 00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:25,372 She needs you, like I needed you. 391 00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:30,961 [clears throat] I don't know if I have it in me to try again. 392 00:19:34,381 --> 00:19:35,465 [sighs] 393 00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:40,012 This couch feels two inches further to the left. 394 00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:44,141 - [roars, grumbles] - Billie! 395 00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:47,227 [grumbles] 396 00:19:51,523 --> 00:19:54,109 Alex, there's a gigantic floogie in my kid's room! 397 00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:58,405 Really? Where? Billie, what did you do? 398 00:19:58,780 --> 00:20:01,408 I tried banishing it, but I only made it bigger. Alex, please! 399 00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:05,120 I thought I could do it, but I can't. I was wrong. 400 00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:08,081 Alex, what are you doing!? Banish it for her! 401 00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:11,168 [roars] 402 00:20:15,339 --> 00:20:17,132 - Alex! - [Justin] Don't! Come here! 403 00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:19,468 [roars] 404 00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:22,763 [roars] 405 00:20:23,555 --> 00:20:26,225 What are we gonna do? Alex is the only wizard 406 00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:28,476 strong enough to banish that thing. You do it. 407 00:20:28,477 --> 00:20:29,770 I... I can't do it. 408 00:20:30,145 --> 00:20:32,231 But Alex said you were the best she's ever known. 409 00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:33,857 Would've been nice to hear that from her. 410 00:20:33,982 --> 00:20:36,068 [growls] 411 00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:39,321 Listen to me. You have to do this, okay? Only you can. 412 00:20:39,446 --> 00:20:41,155 I already tried, but I failed. 413 00:20:41,156 --> 00:20:42,658 [breathes heavily] 414 00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:46,078 A wise wizard once told me, you only fail if you give up. 415 00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:48,746 Now, what were you thinking when you summoned it? 416 00:20:48,747 --> 00:20:50,498 Guess I just thought of the floogie, the closet, 417 00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:52,209 and then I said the spell, and it was there. 418 00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:53,961 - [roars] - [Billie screams] 419 00:20:54,836 --> 00:20:56,838 Just focus, okay? Clear your mind. 420 00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:58,715 I told you, I can't. 421 00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:01,718 My teachers were right not to believe in me. 422 00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:07,099 No. No, no, no. [stammers] You just had the wrong teachers. 423 00:21:07,224 --> 00:21:10,227 Okay? Hey, you got this, all right? 424 00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:12,521 I believe in you, okay? 425 00:21:13,605 --> 00:21:15,023 Think of the place you wanna send the floogie. 426 00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:17,901 And repeat after me. [inhales, exhales sharply] 427 00:21:18,902 --> 00:21:20,779 With magic strong and words of power. 428 00:21:20,904 --> 00:21:22,405 With magic strong and words of power. 429 00:21:22,406 --> 00:21:25,534 - [growls] - [grunts, groans] 430 00:21:25,909 --> 00:21:27,494 [growls] 431 00:21:27,661 --> 00:21:29,162 We banish you, floogie, at this hour. 432 00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:30,329 [growls] 433 00:21:30,330 --> 00:21:31,956 We banish you, floogie, at this hour. 434 00:21:31,957 --> 00:21:33,375 [growls] 435 00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:37,045 - [growls] - Now, together. 436 00:21:37,421 --> 00:21:38,921 Back to the road from whence you came, 437 00:21:38,922 --> 00:21:40,299 and never ever more remain. 438 00:21:43,677 --> 00:21:45,095 [grumbles] 439 00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:52,144 - [gasps happily] - [gasps] We did it! 440 00:21:54,271 --> 00:21:57,357 - You did it. - And I knew that you could. 441 00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:00,360 Justin taught me. 442 00:22:00,736 --> 00:22:02,571 Oh, thought you don't teach anymore. 443 00:22:03,530 --> 00:22:05,323 Wait, did you let yourself get frozen on purpose 444 00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:06,782 so I'd have to step in and instruct her, 445 00:22:06,783 --> 00:22:08,243 thus rediscovering my love of teaching? 446 00:22:09,369 --> 00:22:11,537 That would've been a really smart plan. [laughs] 447 00:22:11,538 --> 00:22:13,289 Well, and I don't know if you did or you didn't. 448 00:22:13,290 --> 00:22:15,083 [smacks lips] That's just the way I want it. 449 00:22:19,629 --> 00:22:21,339 I was hanging on my bike forever. 450 00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:23,967 I'm gonna have to put lotion on my tender parts. 451 00:22:25,093 --> 00:22:26,970 She trapped me in the Nowhere Zone. 452 00:22:27,429 --> 00:22:28,972 I saw things I can't forget. 453 00:22:29,514 --> 00:22:31,933 They don't have a lotion for your brain, Milo. 454 00:22:32,851 --> 00:22:33,935 Actually, they do. 455 00:22:34,311 --> 00:22:35,811 But the worm that makes it has to crawl in 456 00:22:35,812 --> 00:22:36,980 through your earhole. 457 00:22:38,648 --> 00:22:41,109 But for real, thanks for trying to help me. 458 00:22:41,693 --> 00:22:43,320 Thanks for saving my family. 459 00:22:44,321 --> 00:22:45,989 I mean, you are the one that put them in danger, 460 00:22:46,114 --> 00:22:48,075 but... thanks. 461 00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:51,328 It was so weird. I-- I'm in the kitchen, 462 00:22:51,536 --> 00:22:52,536 and the next thing I know, 463 00:22:52,537 --> 00:22:54,456 I'm in the garage with a blanket over my head. 464 00:22:54,623 --> 00:22:56,917 [scoffs] That is weird. 465 00:22:58,335 --> 00:22:59,460 You know, it's probably best 466 00:22:59,461 --> 00:23:01,004 to just forget about it and move on. 467 00:23:03,423 --> 00:23:05,592 You know, I could hit her with a little cerebellum erasus 468 00:23:05,717 --> 00:23:06,760 and erase her memory. 469 00:23:06,885 --> 00:23:08,178 Keep your wand out of my wife's head. 470 00:23:11,181 --> 00:23:13,058 So, Milo, I've been thinking. 471 00:23:13,517 --> 00:23:15,476 Um, now that we know that wizards are real, 472 00:23:15,477 --> 00:23:16,602 and monsters are real... 473 00:23:16,603 --> 00:23:18,480 I already knew that, but continue. 474 00:23:20,857 --> 00:23:22,984 I've, uh, I've decided to stay in our room. 475 00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:25,237 You know, for when you get scared. 476 00:23:25,529 --> 00:23:27,114 When he gets scared or when you get scared? 477 00:23:28,073 --> 00:23:31,451 When are you leaving? Hey, Dad, when is she leaving? 478 00:23:31,827 --> 00:23:34,537 Actually, I was thinking she could, uh, stay with us 479 00:23:34,538 --> 00:23:35,622 for a little while. 480 00:23:36,706 --> 00:23:38,667 - Are you sure? - Yeah, Dad, are you sure? 481 00:23:40,544 --> 00:23:41,586 What do you think? 482 00:23:42,462 --> 00:23:46,299 [sighs] I think I could learn a lot here. 483 00:23:47,634 --> 00:23:49,010 - [chuckles lightly] - And Giada's cool with this? 484 00:23:49,177 --> 00:23:50,470 - Totally. - You didn't ask her. 485 00:23:50,679 --> 00:23:52,097 - I didn't. - [audience laughs] 486 00:23:53,348 --> 00:23:55,225 Can't believe you're staying. 487 00:23:56,852 --> 00:23:58,227 You know, I thought the face you made 488 00:23:58,228 --> 00:24:00,105 when you saw the floogie was my favourite. 489 00:24:00,522 --> 00:24:01,898 But now it's this one. 490 00:24:02,065 --> 00:24:03,942 This one is definitely my favorite. 491 00:24:05,527 --> 00:24:07,154 Happy birthday, J-Man. 492 00:24:07,279 --> 00:24:08,572 - Aw. - Happy birthday! 493 00:24:08,780 --> 00:24:10,657 Oh, right, it's your birthday. [chuckles] 494 00:24:15,036 --> 00:24:17,288 If I'm gonna train you, it can't be here. 495 00:24:17,289 --> 00:24:18,372 - Why not? - [clicks tongue] 496 00:24:18,373 --> 00:24:20,208 His family doesn't know about wizards. 497 00:24:21,168 --> 00:24:24,171 Right! [laughs] Yes, they do not know about wizards, 498 00:24:24,296 --> 00:24:26,464 'cause I didn't tell them. So, unless you told them-- 499 00:24:26,465 --> 00:24:28,467 You know, that is a really nice cardigan. 500 00:24:30,469 --> 00:24:31,595 Thank you. [chuckles] 501 00:24:32,762 --> 00:24:35,307 [clears throat] Alex, will you do the honors? 502 00:24:35,557 --> 00:24:37,476 - Mm-hm. - [mystical whooshing] 503 00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:48,820 The old lair, this takes me back. [chuckles] 504 00:24:48,987 --> 00:24:50,822 [exhales] Oh! 505 00:25:00,749 --> 00:25:03,877 Hello, Wandy. My old friend. 506 00:25:05,504 --> 00:25:06,922 [audience claps and cheers] 507 00:25:08,006 --> 00:25:09,798 You know, I thought you were just bringing me 508 00:25:09,799 --> 00:25:11,092 to another teacher who doesn't care. 509 00:25:11,635 --> 00:25:14,638 But, I was wrong. Thanks for believing in me. 510 00:25:14,846 --> 00:25:17,681 Of course. Us rebels, we gotta stick together. 511 00:25:17,682 --> 00:25:19,433 - [chuckles softly] - Look, I have to go back 512 00:25:19,434 --> 00:25:20,810 to the Tribunal. Are you good? 513 00:25:21,144 --> 00:25:22,812 Don't worry. I'll be okay here. 514 00:25:23,188 --> 00:25:25,232 Zippo zap, zippo zee, zippo zeria! 515 00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:29,903 [laughs, blows] Still got it. 516 00:25:31,238 --> 00:25:34,032 Okay, good, good, because there's one thing I, um, 517 00:25:34,157 --> 00:25:35,950 kind of sort of forgot to mention. 518 00:25:35,951 --> 00:25:38,161 Nothing big, just this teeny tiny, 519 00:25:38,286 --> 00:25:40,538 but very real prophecy about the end of the world, 520 00:25:40,539 --> 00:25:42,290 and Billie being the only one who can save us. 521 00:25:43,625 --> 00:25:45,125 The fate of the world is in her hands? 522 00:25:45,126 --> 00:25:46,503 [electricity zaps] 523 00:25:46,711 --> 00:25:48,255 Well, technically, it's in your hands. 524 00:25:49,923 --> 00:25:51,173 You make sure she's ready, 525 00:25:51,174 --> 00:25:53,552 and I'll figure out what she needs to be ready for. 526 00:25:54,344 --> 00:25:55,554 - Thank you. - [sighs] 527 00:25:57,055 --> 00:25:58,056 For everything. 528 00:25:59,015 --> 00:26:00,725 Russos always have each other's backs. 529 00:26:01,309 --> 00:26:03,311 - Well, don't blow it, J-Man. - [sighs] 530 00:26:08,650 --> 00:26:10,485 I've missed this. [chuckles softly] 531 00:26:16,074 --> 00:26:18,285 "Don't blow it, J-Man." What'd she mean by that? 532 00:26:19,327 --> 00:26:20,745 Uh, well, I, uh... 533 00:26:21,705 --> 00:26:23,081 I think we should get started. [chuckles] 534 00:26:23,748 --> 00:26:28,044 ♪ Everything is not what it seems ♪