Don't forget the celebrant. I won't forget the celebrant.
And then no turning back.
I don't want to turn back.
You're the best. Cheers.
The best man.
You're joking.
(LAUGHS) Brilliant!
I've got to get cracking on a bucks night.
You're not going to run out of air.
Let's get on the floor. Let's get on the floor.
Let's get down here, OK?
MAN: Hello? WOMAN: Hello?
You should probably take Frankie permanently
so she's not pulled between two people.
Well, I'd dismember them with a rusty old circular saw.
I mean, you know.
One of those serrated blade jobbies, you know.
Really fire it up.
Start with their arms and legs.
(MIMICS CIRCULAR SAW)
(LAUGHTER, CHATTER, GROANING)
Crime fiction bestseller Brendan Trapmore
starting our festival with a bang.
Thank you.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
Um, Bill Pereira,
author of the critically acclaimed Alex Thorn Mysteries,
what's your perfect murder?
If I had to choose, it would be something silent, untraceable.
Bore them to death?
I was going to suggest the pillow over the face.
Leaves no evidence, almost foolproof.
Gripping stuff.
Lena, you had us all gasping for breath
with the latest instalment of your mermaid-themed romantasy series,
The Siren's Conch.
(MUTTERING)
How would you do away with your victim?
Well, murder isn't something that I turn my mind to very often.
I think that my readers prefer drowning in desire.
Whoo! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
Whoo!
(BABY FUSSES)
Brendan, you've always said that when you're writing Johnny Fox,
you had to live his life.
Wasn't it dangerous immersing yourself in the criminal underworld?
I mean, there's no other way to get inside a story.
That's why Johnny Fox feels so real.
What about Lena's work? Hmm?
Do you expect her to breathe underwater
or to commune with Poseidon for her...
Sorry, what's the genre again, Lena?
It's mermaid smut?
Right? (SIGHS)
Romantasy.
I think that the true appeal of my work is the celebration of women
unashamedly owning and satisfying their desires.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
Maybe the idea of a satisfied woman is foreign to you, Brendan.
(LAUGHTER)
Well, in the words of Johnny Fox,
there's nothing as lethal as a woman's love.
But hey, you know, whatever floats your boat.
I mean, who cares if the critics call it thinly disguised pornography?
Well, they also called your novels airport pulp, as I recall.
(LAUGHTER) (BABY FUSSES)
Oh, there you go, Will.
Here's your latest review.
Aren't you officially retired... (CLEARS THROAT) ..writer's block?
Wrong.
Coming soon, my new novel,
Branded - A Johnny Fox Mystery.
MEN IN AUDIENCE: Yes!
A bikey gang is cutting a murderous swathe across the country,
leaving a slew of bodies in their wake,
each victim branded on their wrist.
Please tell me you didn't brand yourself.
I told you, I've got to live Johnny Fox's life.
OK, but you killed him off in your last book. He's dead.
It's going to take more than death to stop Johnny Fox.
Mm!
So, just, if you could... We just... We haven't even started the Q&A.
Here, make yourself useful.
We have questions. We have questions.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
OK, well, I'm his publisher, ladies and gentlemen,
and not even I knew about that one.
(LAUGHS)
(SNIFFS)
And that was our last question.
Please thank our panellists,
Lena Shaw, Will Pereira,
and who knows where he's gone, Brendan Trapmore.
Um, don't miss our next panel, Wave of Hormones, Coastal YA.
(APPLAUSE)
We need to talk.
We will.
He slipped me this before the panel started.
Summoned.
"Whisky and cigars with my girls after the panel."
Good, because he's got some explaining to do.
You were brilliant.
I'm going to go find a quiet place for this one.
I love you. I love you too.
(BEEPS)
Did you really not know about Brendan's new book?
If he wasn't a guaranteed bestseller, I'd kill him.
Brendan, you owe me details.
Look.
Brendan?
No, no.
He's dead!
Blimey. Brendan Trapmore.
I read three of his Johnny Fox books on the plane back from the UK once.
Big mistake.
Oh, yeah, they're terrible. Oh, I couldn't put them down.
Didn't sleep a wink.
The brutality.
(BEEPS)
Guest access only.
Do we have a list of who was staying here?
The only other ones that checked in
were the two panellists and the moderator.
OK.
Reggie, can you tip off the area
and, Felix, get statements from all the attendees?
Yeah, sure. Will do.
Killer dropped the knife then.
Looks like it.
Oh, Glenn.
You're already here.
Morning, mate.
Stab wound to the upper chest.
Uh, any defence wounds?
Not that I can see, no.
Hm.
A writer who died with his pen in his hand.
How poetic.
"The Patch Means Death."
"A Johnny Fox Mystery."
That is absolutely savage.
There's a scene in there with a pillowcase full of broken glass.
(LAUGHS) Gave me nightmares.
"Branded."
The new Johnny Fox.
(CHORTLES) Get in!
Hm.
A few bits of broken gold chain.
Someone must have ripped the chain from around his neck.
Mm-hm. Did you check his pockets?
Was there a wallet?
Nothing in there.
A broken gold chain, no wallet, signs of forced entry here.
Robbery gone wrong?
Brendan came in through the back, didn't see them.
They got startled?
He's still holding his pen.
So clearly he was at the desk signing when the killer came in.
The intruder broke the lock on the front door with...
With what? With what?
With... that.
But it's already unlocked.
It's snipped to the right, so...
So why smash it?
Unless you wanted it to look like a robbery gone wrong.
A horrible accident with no premeditation.
Ha.
The killer didn't exit through the front door.
They dropped the knife here as they left.
We're surrounded by cliffs.
There's only one way in, the guest-only gate.
So the killer had to be someone with access.
Mm-hm.
How's Frankie?
Ah, driving me nuts.
Barking at every surfer that walks past.
She misses you.
You could take her for a run if you wanted to.
I think a clean break's easier.
Victim's a walking pharmacy.
Bathroom is full of prescription drugs.
We'll get them tested.
Hey, don't work too late.
You've got to be at the surf club for seven.
Our bucks night.
"Our bucks"?
There's going to be debauchery and chaos.
I've, uh...
I've booked a magician.
(STAMMERS) Glenn.
Mackenzie.
So...
Uh, so...so who found the body?
Miranda East.
I'm Brendan's publisher.
I was, um, hosting the panel for Brendan and my other writers,
Will Pereira and Lena here.
The panel was from 10 till 11am?
Yes, but Brendan, um, walked out early, about 10:30.
Not for the first time either.
He hates the Q&A.
We have questions. We have questions.
Typical Brendan.
Made his big announcement and then waltzed off.
What was this announcement?
His first book in five years, Branded.
The manuscript was in his room.
Oh, so it exists? Hm.
Shouldn't his publisher know about his new novel?
Well, you would think.
I had no idea it was even happening.
He sprung it on us while we were on the panel.
Loved to keep me and everyone on their toes. Nightmare, really.
Mm. Sounds like he was quite difficult to work with.
No, no, not at all.
I mean,
he could be a bit erratic.
You knew him pretty well?
I used to be his assistant.
Brendan always encouraged me to write.
Even when I didn't know what I was doing, he saw something in me.
So Brendan left the panel. The rest of you stayed for the Q&A?
Why go to his villa afterwards?
Oh, he slipped me this note.
"Whisky and cigars with my girls after the panel. B."
"With my girls."
Mm. I know. Only slightly patronising.
What happened when you got there?
Um, so we... we went inside
and he was, um...
..you know, covered in blood,
still holding his pen.
And I, um, I tried to call the police,
but I couldn't get any reception at the villa.
So I had to run back out.
In those?
Oh... I broke a heel on the stupid drain.
Do you know if Brendan had any enemies at all?
Well, according to him,
he had enemies baying for his blood from Hobart to Cape York.
What about today? Anyone suspicious in the audience?
Ginny would have noticed.
My wife, she was filming the panel.
I'll introduce you.
No, no-one sus. Just your usual book festival crowd.
And you were at the panel the whole time?
Yeah.
Did you see anyone following Brendan when he left?
Arlo was grizzling. I was trying to film it.
We'll need the footage.
Yeah, I'll send it when I get a chance.
Now... please.
Fine.
But my camera's in the room.
Oop!
When Miranda left, what did you do?
Well, I was right behind her.
That's when we ran into Will.
Brendan's dead.
He was coming up the path.
(MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY)
Will Pereira.
Sorry, I'm not signing anything right now.
Oh, I was so hoping you could make one out
to Detective Sergeant Mackenzie Clarke.
Hello, Detective Sergeant.
Was he really stabbed?
Miranda said something about a knife.
Yeah, but perhaps if I asked the questions?
Of course.
When did you last see Brendan?
When he walked off.
And you didn't leave the panel at all?
No.
What about after the Q&A?
I signed some books and then headed back to my villa.
Where did you bump into Miranda and Lena?
In the garden.
They were very shaken.
I told them not to go back into Brendan's villa.
Why?
They'd already disturbed the crime scene once.
Not great for forensics if they kept going back in.
Expert, are you?
No, Detective.
I've written a lot of crime novels.
I know the basics.
I've read them. You don't.
Hm.
Ah, yes.
Now, this is interesting.
I wonder who did the cover art?
Now, that one, that's boring.
Hm. Hang on.
Hm?
Oh.
(SCOFFS) Yeah.
A copy of Will's book has been placed in front of all of Brendan's.
Hmm.
So, nobody's reported a robbery or anything suspicious.
Staff accounted for.
They were all at a meeting nowhere near the villas.
I just got to chase up a couple but they'll get back to me soon.
Who else had access?
Ah, just the four people on the panel.
Ah, and Ginny, who was filming.
One of them must have snuck out.
Doesn't look like it.
I've just skimmed through Ginny's footage.
They were present the whole time.
Brendan surprises everyone with the announcement of a new book.
And then 35 minutes later, he's dead.
One of the enemies that Miranda and Lena mentioned?
They couldn't have got in.
The only people who could have killed Brendan had guest access.
And they were all on that panel.
I saw them in the footage. (LAUGHS)
It's impossible.
Yet somehow it's not.
Lena Shaw, author of mermaid-themed... erotica?
What are we calling it?
Romantasy.
Yeah, not my thing.
Romance, absolutely. But elves and fairies? Yeah, no thanks.
OK. She is the former assistant to Brendan.
Miranda East, his publisher.
And Will Pereira, who's a, yes, another crime fiction author.
Yes, that is the panel.
And then Ginny Shaw, Lena's wife.
She was filming the whole thing. Mm-hm.
Just, um... Can I, why, what, what?
Oh! (LAUGHS) It's for the books.
Has that been airbrushed?
No, it has not.
Mackenzie, I've been reviewing the footage from the panel
and Will is no fan of Brendan, I can tell you that.
But listen to this.
LENA: My heroine, Elka, isn't based on myself.
She's more of a combination. (BABY CRYING)
Is that a baby crying?
Oh, uh, Lena and Ginny's baby. Uh...
Arlo. (BABY CONTINUES CRYING)
..transitioned into the human world... (GROWS FAINTER)
Oh, it's getting fainter.
Ginny said she was at the panel the whole time,
but it sounds like she left with the baby.
Wait, I also just got an email from one of the staff that left early.
He said he saw Brendan arguing with a woman holding a baby
before the panel.
She said, "You have no idea who you're dealing with."
Mm!
Well, we need to speak to Ginny again.
Colin, I want that out of here.
Oh.
So sorry.
Did you leave the panel this morning at any point?
I took Arlo outside to change him.
I was gone like five minutes?
Yeah. Six minutes, actually.
We can hear your return on the footage.
I wasn't trying to hide it.
I just forgot.
I'm so sleep deprived.
I nearly brushed my teeth with nappy cream this morning.
Did you have an altercation with Brendan prior to the panel?
A small one.
I'd just gotten Arlo to sleep and Brendan bumped into us, woke him up.
"You have no idea who you're dealing with."
That sounds like a threat.
Did I say that?
Mm-hm.
I didn't mean to threaten him.
I'm just on a very short fuse at the moment.
I haven't slept more than a few hours
in the three months since we had him.
And we went to so much trouble to have him.
Wasn't smooth sailing?
(ARLO CRIES) Putting it lightly.
But he was worth it. (LAUGHS)
Actually, do you mind?
No.
Ahh!
Oh, hello.
Hey.
You're OK. Yeah.
Must be tough travelling with a baby.
Wouldn't you rather stay at home?
Oh, no.
Lena's worked so hard to get away from Brendan to focus on her career.
I just want to be as supportive as I can.
Uh...
Get away from him?
I thought he encouraged her.
She'd say that.
But back when she was his assistant, she did everything for him.
His cleaning.
His research. Signed his books for him. The works.
(ARLO VOMITS)
Sorry.
He's a bit of a spewer.
The Brendan Trapmore Branded manuscript?
Oh, gosh.
Inconsistent tenses.
Spelling all over the shop.
And the women?
The characters aren't well-rounded at all.
I mean, they're well-rounded, if you know what I mean.
But their personalities are... Prrt!
Like you could do better.
That is uncanny that you should say that, Felix.
The Rocco Files -
sophisticated crime fiction from a mature female perspective.
Now, this little baby, she's ready for her first review.
So, either of you keen to give it a go?
Yeah?
Yeah.
Felix! Good.
Thank you so much.
(LAUGHS) I cannot wait to hear your thoughts.
Bickies?
Good on you, Felix.
Whoa! Watch him!
Oh, come on.
All this space and they parked this close?
I think that's Miranda's car.
This old bomb?
Did you not see her high heels?
That's a week's wages right there.
And that broken heel - what a waste.
Why do you think it's hers?
Loafers, under the steering wheel.
You shouldn't drive a car in stilettos.
(PHONE RINGS)
Felix.
A fight? Who?
This is you and Brendan.
BRENDAN: Now, what else am I supposed to do?
BILL: Shut up!
I swear to God, Brendan... Or what, big fella?
You're jealous.
Keep dreaming, mate.
Anyway, Alex Thorne, he comes...
Ow! Ah!
(BOTH GRUNTING AND GROANING)
Last year's festival.
Looks like you took a real swing at Brendan there.
Almost took out Lena as well.
Not my finest hour.
What was the fight about?
Brendan harangued Miranda for an advance copy of my book
and decided to use this very public forum to spoil the ending.
But no-one was hurt.
I wasn't.
And nothing stopped Brendan when he was in the mood.
He took a fan back to his villa that night.
Probably some poor moon-eyed aspiring writer
who thought he was the real deal.
You're saying he wasn't?
He was very good at selling a certain image.
Especially to people he wanted to sleep with.
Your image is very different though, isn't it?
I mean, you know, I've read the Alex Thorne novels.
So you said.
What did you think?
Mm. Yeah.
I guessed the killer in the first one.
When? Page 20?
Mm, 15.
The serviette.
Mmm.
I mean, where else is the powder gonna come from?
Of course.
Well, you should read the new one.
It's out now
and there's a red herring in it that I'm very proud of.
Pointing the reader one way so they don't look the other.
I've improved, Detective.
Well, your sales have at least.
A huge jump in the last five years since Brendan stopped writing.
Almost as well as Brendan in his prime.
It's not a competition.
So why did you put your book in front of his
on the display table this morning?
No idea what you're talking about.
Mmm.
I think you were livid that he was back with a new novel,
because you knew it would eat into your sales.
Branded - A Johnny Fox Mystery.
You're suggesting I killed Brendan over a book?
Not just absurd.
Impossible.
I was on the panel, on camera, while he was being murdered.
Well, Brendan took his research seriously.
Miranda's financials -
absolute shambles.
She's deep in the red with debts.
Everywhere.
Brendan announcing a new Johnny Fox novel
must have been very good news for her.
It's a shame he didn't put the same effort into his prose
as he did his handwriting.
Funnel Webs.
Who are they?
A local bikey gang.
He must have been talking to them about his book.
Hang on.
Huh!
Brendan used biro in all of these.
Until his most recent one.
He switched pens?
Yes.
Huh.
To this rather expensive-looking fountain pen.
Going by his journals, he'd never used it before.
A gift, maybe?
I'll chase it up.
Stationery is my thing, so...
Oh.
How did you go with the Branded manuscript?
Oh, God, where do I start?
You know what? I'll just read it myself.
I'll read it myself tonight.
(FRANKIE WHINES)
Frankie!
It's not him!
I'm sorry.
How's Branded?
Do we know how Johnny survives being chopped up into a thousand pieces
by that propeller in the last book?
No.
All he said about it is that
no helicopter blade is as lethal as the love of a treacherous woman.
He's not wrong.
(FRANKIE BARKING)
(YELPS)
Frankie?
(FRANKIE WHIMPERS)
Snake. Uh, did it get her? Was she bitten?
Um...
Oh, Colin, I've got to get her to the vet.
Um, shall I... uh, shall I call Glenn?
No, no, no, just let him enjoy his night.
(LAUGHTER)
That's actually my body photoshopped onto his head.
I believe that, I believe that.
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
Alright, team, the fun bus is arriving out front,
so finish your drinks and let's go!
(CHEERING)
So, which of the two bars are we going to? Sticky floor or the other?
O ye of little faith. I know you better than that.
You're a legend, Cole.
You are the best man!
Oh, well, I don't know... (CHEERING)
The night's not started yet.
Let's go, people!
(CHEERING)
I mean it, mate.
You've had some knocks lately, but you always come through.
Come on, mate.
Alright, let's do it.
How is she?
Uh, uh, mm, yeah, they, um... they gave her the antivenom, and...
..um, they've put her on an IV drip.
Can I see her? Mm.
Uh, Glenn?
Um, uh, they said that we should prepare ourselves.
No change.
Hmm.
Colin told you?
Yeah, I'm glad he did.
I yelled at her earlier.
She was barking and barking.
She was barking at the snake.
She was trying to warn you, Mack.
Why would you let her go off like that?
(SCOFFS)
No, that's not fair.
No, ever since she was a puppy, she's been running around at Mum's place.
And at your place.
This was an accident.
This is not my fault.
I'm not saying it's your fault.
I'm saying that since you've come back,
these things, they just keep happening.
What are you talking about?
Come on, Mack.
You know exactly what I'm talking about.
And since you've come home, everything is harder.
Oh, your life, it would just be so much easier if I'd never come back.
Yeah, I guess it would be.
Uh-huh.
I'm gonna go.
Yeah, you let me know if there's a change.
(CLEARS THROAT)
How's Frankie?
Um, it could go either way.
Poor thing.
Um, how are you?
Colin, can we...
Can we just...
..work?
How's Johnny Fox?
Well, he's heartbroken because he found out his lover, Calypso,
has found love with someone else
because, well, she thought he was dead.
Well, fair play to her.
Found love with a woman.
Go on.
Do you know who Calypso is in Greek mythology?
Uh, would it surprise you if I told you I didn't?
The one who conceals.
And...
she's a mermaid.
A mermaid?
I was in love with him.
I mean, it felt like love, but then everything does when you're 25.
Eventually, I realized that what I really wanted was his approval,
which is part of why I had to stop working for him,
to make my own way as a writer and a person.
You were tempted back to him though, weren't you?
You talk quite a lot about giving into your desires.
Is that what happened last year...
when he took a fan back to his room?
With some poor moon-eyed aspiring writer
who thought he was the real deal?
Once.
A moment of weakness.
Ginny and I had been going through hell with IVF
and Brendan could be very... charismatic.
Ginny doesn't know.
She always had a thing about Brendan.
She thought that he mistreated me when I was his assistant.
Did he?
Maybe.
He was a terrible boss.
But he was an amazing writing teacher.
And now he's dead.
The man who holds a secret that could ruin your relationship.
(LAUGHS)
You're wrong.
Ginny and I went through the ringer to have Arlo.
Years of IVF.
If we can survive that,
then me having a one-nighter with Brendan isn't going to make a dent.
You look up to someone for years.
They take advantage of you, then sell you out in their book.
Yeah, but would you kill for it?
She's right. Her and Ginny have been through a lot.
Mm.
Mackenzie, a little word with you.
(WHIMPERS)
(SIGHS)
Is there any news on Frankie?
Oh, uh, no.
Well, if you need some time off, you need to go to the vet...
Um, they'll update me if anything changes.
Or... or Glenn.
(SOFTLY) Or Glenn.
(GROANS)
Glenn.
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
He's very upset about this.
(WHISPERS) You know, he was crying.
Is everything OK there?
Professionally?
Yeah, of course.
It's fine. Yeah, of course.
Oh. Well, then. Off you go.
Mm-hm.
Uh, are you glad I came back?
Am I glad?
Hmm.
Is me being here something that's...
..made your life easier?
You mean professionally?
Yes, I do, of course.
Absolutely.
(LAUGHS)
What about on any other level?
Don't you have something that you have to be doing?
Yeah. I do. Yep.
(CLEARS THROAT)
What are you up to there? Nothin'.
No, no.
It's Reggie's book.
I told her I'd give it a read and give her my thoughts.
Is it good?
Good?
Uh, look, not my thing.
Generally, I prefer something a little less...
..adult.
Oh, my days.
I mean, people can read and write whatever they want.
Who am I to judge?
But she was my teacher.
Yeah, well, um... (CLEARS THROAT) ..good luck with that.
Mamma mia! (LAUGHS)
Enzo, potrei essere tua madre.
Si! (LAUGHS)
Allora, se me dovessi venire in Australia, chiamami.
Si. (LAUGHS)
Ciao, ciao.
(LAUGHS)
Ah! What a lovely bloke.
What?
Oh, oh, I've been learning Italian on my phone for the last few months.
I'm on a 200-day streak.
Anyway, that was the charming Enzo from the Gresta company in Milano.
That's Milan.
That is where Brendan's pen comes from.
Expensive?
Ooh, yeah!
So, why would a killer wanting to sell us a robbery gone wrong
leave it behind?
Maybe they didn't know it was expensive.
Uh, did, um, Enzo...
Enzo.
Yep, did they tell us who bought it?
Si, a company called 43 Global.
And, uh, what do they do?
They're Brendan's new publisher.
Signed contract from 43 Global,
a massive media company
with exclusive rights to the new Johnny Fox series,
starting with, uh, Branded.
Not just the book.
Film adaptations, television rights, graphic novels, the works.
43 are such sharks, they would have promised him the world.
You knew?
Uh, I had an idea, people talk.
Losing your best-selling author -
tough break for a, uh, struggling publisher.
Money and fame were all that mattered to him.
Not loyalty, and sure as hell not friendship.
Do you know his first book was rejected nine times
before I took it on?
I mean, I built him up from nothing, and this is how he repays me.
A writer of brutal crime novels gets brutally murdered.
That's a story that guarantees his old bestsellers keep selling for you.
Oh, yeah.
I'd kill him, alright.
But he was already dead when I found him.
Ah, Glenn.
Autopsy results are in.
I haven't heard anything. Have you?
No.
I'm gonna go there after this.
Uh, autopsy then.
Fatal wound to the right lung, and the knife and the blood is a match.
Any prints? No.
No sign of struggle either, which I think I can explain.
Stab wound was what killed him,
but I've done a basic tox and, well...
There were a lot of drugs in his room.
And he took all of them.
He would have been, let's just say, slow.
Yep.
That explains why he was stabbed in the chest
but there was no sign of a struggle.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Um, his inner...
..his inner left wrist,
was there any branding or scarification?
No.
No tattoos, no scars.
For a supposed tough guy, he didn't have much to show for it.
Right.
He had nothing to do with the Funnel Webs.
Wasn't living Johnny Fox's life.
Doesn't look like it.
But someone was.
(SIGHS) What do you want now?
Lena told me about Brendan, if that's why you're here.
It was a dumb mistake that meant nothing.
Actually, we're here about your tattoo.
You've covered it in vine leaves, but it's a funnel web spider, isn't it?
So?
The symbol of the Funnel Webs bikey gang, right?
Can we please see your wrist?
They call it 'the exit fee'.
Punishment for leaving?
You hold out your arm, grit your teeth,
and once it's done, you're free.
When I was working for Brendan, I told him Ginny's story.
Showing off, I suppose.
Wanted him to think that I was cool and dangerous.
I never thought that he'd use it.
So, you knew about Brendan before the announcement?
Well, sort of.
I mean, he rang me, trying to get my permission to use Ginny's story.
I said no.
You have no idea who you're dealing with.
It was a threat.
Yeah.
It was.
And I assumed that was the end of it.
But then he announced it on the panel.
Branded - A Johnny Fox Mystery.
MEN IN AUDIENCE: Yeah!
He didn't even change the name of the gang.
The connection to me is so obvious.
The Funnel Webs would think you've spoken to Brendan?
Yeah.
And the one thing they don't like is publicity.
You think they'd come after you in retribution?
I know they would.
It... (SIGHS)
It's a pretty good reason to want to take Brendan out of the picture.
Exposing you to danger like that.
I have a dodgy past.
I was born into it.
My dad was in it.
My brothers.
But it was never by choice.
I'm not a killer.
Not even to protect your family?
I'd do anything to protect my family.
But I told him he couldn't use my story, and assumed that was it.
You're the only one that had opportunity.
I had a baby strapped to me all day.
I couldn't have killed anyone.
Ginny had good reason to hate Brendan.
Putting her family in danger like that.
And having a thing with Lena.
Lena said Ginny didn't know beforehand, but maybe she did.
But she only had a six-minute window during that Q&A.
Not a lot of time.
And hard to imagine her doing anything with Arlo there.
Where are we going?
Fruit shop.
Baby Arlo.
Straps.
Wow, impressive skills, Felix.
Yeah, I don't have a 'World Best Uncle' mug for nothing.
OK, right.
So, Ginny left the panel at 10:46, back at 10:52.
Mm-hm. Ready?
Wah, wah! Baby crying.
Go!
(BEEPS)
Oh, no, leave it.
Oh. Oh. No, leave 'em.
Don't pick 'em up.
I'm Brendan, writing in my notebook with my expensive, beautiful pen.
And... stabbed.
(GROANING)
OK, yep, stop.
And you're back at the panel.
Even if you legged it, you wouldn't have made it.
Then how did it happen?!
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
You...
You dropped your pen.
Which makes sense, doesn't it?
Uh, does it?
If someone attacked you with a knife,
you would drop your pen, wouldn't you?
But Brendan didn't.
Maybe he didn't see them.
The killer surprised him.
How could they surprise him when he was stabbed in the chest?
There were no defensive wounds on his body.
It's like he didn't fight back at all.
Why not?
Um, freeze response?
It happens.
Well, he didn't freeze when Will hit him at last year's Writers Festival.
It's almost like he didn't see his killer coming at all, but...
(GASPS)
He didn't see them because it hadn't happened yet.
(GRUMBLES)
I got ya.
(GRUNTS) Here we go.
What are you doing?
The knife had to go somewhere.
Uh, yeah, in an evidence bag. Yeah.
(GASPS) Ooh.
And this one?
Brendan Trapmore, best-selling crime writer, murdered in his villa.
But, much like his infamous rogue detective, Johnny Fox,
the story of his murder wasn't what it seemed.
Act 1. Brendan returns to his villa.
Act 2. Lena and Miranda find his body.
But the twist -
Brendan wasn't actually murdered until Act 3.
Our killer crafted the story of a robbery gone wrong.
The smashed lock on the front door.
The gold chain ripped from his neck.
The bloodied knife on the deck.
But I found some plot holes.
I did. Mm.
Including that expensive pen.
Not just a gift from Brendan's new publisher, no.
This pen was the unexpected complication in our killer's plot.
Why would a killer who wanted to sell us a robbery
not take it?
I mean, it was such a dead giveaway.
(GASPS)
Because you had to leave the scene exactly as it looked
when you discovered Brendan's body.
Isn't that right, Lena?
(CHUCKLES WRYLY) What?
The lock on the front door, that was easy enough to fudge.
You just lead Miranda around the back
to see the knife that you'd planted there earlier.
Look!
And you pointed it out to her, setting your scene.
A knife covered in fake blood,
just like your hands when you discovered Brendan's body.
It really is just such a lovely shade of red, that lip gloss.
Why would I put a knife there?
To sell the fiction that Brendan had already been stabbed
and the fleeing killer had dropped the knife.
A knife Brendan didn't see because he came in through the front door.
So, what other conclusion could there be other than Brendan was dead?
But he was dead.
No, Miranda, he just looked it.
He had fallen down there after struggling to sign his books
because he had been drugged by a former assistant who knew his habits.
All you had to do was slip a mix of the barbiturates and sedatives
that he had on him into his whisky before the panel.
You knew that he never went to the Q&A,
but he would go back for his usual smoke and drink.
(SNIGGERS)
When the drugs took effect,
Brendan tried to stand to get help or to get to his bed.
I don't know, but the important thing is
he was holding that pen when he slid to the floor and fell unconscious.
Which brings me to the note.
Ginny said as his assistant you did everything for Brendan.
She signed his books for him, the works.
It's a pretty good copy of Brendan's handwriting.
He slipped me this note.
Why would I do that?
Invite myself and Miranda there?
To make sure you had a witness.
Someone to say Brendan was dead when you found him.
And then when Miranda left to call the police,
that's when you took your chance.
And then you quickly staged the scene to look like a robbery,
smashing the lock...
(LOCK CLANGS ON FLOOR)
..ripping the chain, lifting his wallet.
But you couldn't take that pen.
Miranda had already seen it.
(GASPS, BREATHES RAGGEDLY)
Robbery scene set.
You swapped the real murder weapon
for the knife covered in your lip gloss
that you had planted there earlier.
Then there was only one thing left to do.
Drop the decoy knife down the drain.
The same drain that Miranda broke her designer heel on.
Your prints were all over it, Lena.
Brendan Trapmore put your family at risk from the Funnel Webs.
But as it so happens, he put your family at risk in more ways than one.
As we all know, in Greek mythology, Calypso...
A mermaid whose name translates as "she who conceals".
I had a one-night stand. So what?
With Brendan at this venue at last year's festival, that's what.
That is how you knew there was no phone reception in Brendan's villa
and Miranda would need to leave to call the police.
Giving you your chance to shut him up for good.
(SCOFFS)
Why would she do that?
And in your room, we found...
Lactation medication.
To help Ginny breastfeed.
Because you're Arlo's birth mother.
Aren't you, Lena? Not Ginny.
(INHALES SHARPLY)
Fine.
I did the IVF.
I carried Arlo.
Ginny breastfeeds.
That doesn't prove anything.
Are you going to tell her?
Or am I?
Oh.
Arlo is Brendan's son.
No.
No, that's not possible. Uh-uh.
Conceived a year ago at last year's Writers Festival.
He's three months old, isn't he?
You can't prove that.
I already have.
Sorry.
He's a bit of a spewer.
The DNA's a match.
Brendan was Arlo's father.
You knew he would hold that over you forever.
You knew that even though you and Ginny have survived so much,
that was the one threat that could break your family apart.
After everything we've been through.
(SOBS)
I couldn't risk losing our family.
I couldn't.
And now you have.
Lena Shaw, you're under arrest for the murder of Brendan Trapmore.
Please. Please.
You don't have to say or do anything,
but anything you do say or do may be used in evidence.
Oh, no. Nup.
Stealing someone else's story.
I am all for artistic inspiration,
but my writing comes from my own life.
The real storytelling is about going deep into your own experiences.
So, your imagination and maybe your fantasies, yeah?
And then spinning a yarn out of that.
You know what I mean, Felix? (CLEARS THROAT)
Yeah.
How did you go with the Rocco Files there?
Yeah, Felix. How did you go with the Rocco Files?
Uh...
Very, uh, interesting.
Love,
"very interesting"
would only get you a 4 out of 10 for a book report in my class.
You can do better than that. Mm.
Look, I just don't think it was quite for me.
Oh.
So you don't like well-plotted with complex characters
and... "he gently touches her lips..."
Oh, no.
Oh!
Oh. (LAUGHS)
I gave you the wrong one.
I didn't mean to give you this.
This is not crime fiction at all.
No, it's not.
Oh, it's like a personal story.
A, uh...
an exploration of...
Yeah, I got that part.
You actually read it?
Well, most of it.
I had to stop myself at the hot tub bit.
You should have kept going.
That's where the narrative really reaches its climax.
Wow, power of literature.
Oh, speaking of power...
Hang on.
I still have the real Rocco Files here.
If anybody's keen. Cole?
(CLEARS THROAT, STAMMERS) I've... I've got, uh, jiu jitsu.
Uh, same.
I mean, I have, uh, washing.
Washing?
Overdue for the eye check.
Everything's a little bit... blurry.
Blurry. Mm.
Always an excellent student, that one.
Oh, Frankie!
Hello. Oh, my goodness.
Oh, Frankie.
She's not supposed to run.
You're not supposed to run.
Oh, you're such a naughty girl.
Thought you'd want to see her the moment she got out.
Ah...
(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)
So, um, what, she's gonna be OK?
Yeah. Keep an eye on her, keep her fluids up, and she should be fine.
Oh!
Oh, you're so clever.
And make sure you keep her out of...
And keep her out of the garden? Yeah. Oh, I know.
Look, at the vet last night, it was a really stressful situation.
Yeah.
I might have said some things about it being easier if you weren't here.
She's OK?
Yeah, she's OK. Oh!
So, uh, we're good to do the box?
Like, properly this time?
If we must.
Sorry, I interrupted.
You finish what you were saying and, uh, we'll go.
Uh, nothing important.
Just to say...
..it's not true.
What's not true?
Uh, um, that once a dog is bitten by a snake, it's immune.
Right.
It's not true.
And, uh, it's a myth.
And it is a dangerous one. Mm.
Lesson learned.
We're good to go?
Gotta get this box on the road. Wedding's only around the corner.
(CHORTLES)
Alright, let's do it.
See you, Mack.
(WHISTLES)
Professional?
Always.
(WHISTLES)
Welcome to, uh, Daisy and Glenn's wedding.
Awkward.
No, you look...
REGGIE: Don't panic, everyone!
Contact poison.
The chances are the killer is still here.
Stop! Police!
You're in a criminal conspiracy with her.
Not a crime.
Yes, yes, it is.
I think everyone's having a really good time.
You know the foot I found on the beach?
She is a bit annoying, though.
Glenn and Daisy are more than a couple to me.
They're the family that found me and made me feel at home.
CELEBRANT: If there are no objections, I will proceed.
Captions by Red Bee Media
Copyright Australian Broadcasting Corporation