1
00:00:06,715 --> 00:00:10,135
快點，我們要趕快
距離登機只剩七分鐘

2
00:00:10,218 --> 00:00:12,345
好，親愛的，慢一點，嘿…

3
00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:14,139
-嘿
-喘口氣

4
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:15,974
好

5
00:00:16,474 --> 00:00:17,976
-對
-抱歉，我只是…

6
00:00:18,059 --> 00:00:22,272
我很期待這次旅行
我們從沒去過巴貝多

7
00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:25,233
我知道，但我們可以冷靜一點吧？

8
00:00:25,316 --> 00:00:26,776
-好
-這裡沒什麼人

9
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:28,069
我們應該不用急

10
00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:30,905
對，你說得對，抱歉

11
00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:34,451
我們來得及的

12
00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:36,036
各位乘客請注意…

13
00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:37,746
-下一位
-嗨

14
00:00:37,829 --> 00:00:39,748
你好，請出示護照

15
00:00:43,084 --> 00:00:45,503
-謝謝，祝你旅途平安
-謝謝

16
00:00:46,629 --> 00:00:47,547
你好

17
00:00:49,090 --> 00:00:50,175
先生，請稍等

18
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,218
-抱歉
-嘿，派翠西亞

19
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,597
怎麼了，姐妹？準備換班了嗎？

20
00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:57,140
是的

21
00:00:57,223 --> 00:00:58,641
好

22
00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:01,728
-你這白妞快過來
-我來了，真是的

23
00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:05,315
-嘿，寶貝
-你容光煥發的

24
00:01:05,815 --> 00:01:08,568
-等我回來再告訴你
-天啊

25
00:01:08,651 --> 00:01:10,403
凱文把你操得很累吧？

26
00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:12,030
操得可凶了

27
00:01:14,824 --> 00:01:16,493
-天啊
-給你

28
00:01:17,118 --> 00:01:19,412
先生，我還有30秒的休息時間

29
00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:22,624
抱歉，女士，我快遲到了

30
00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:24,626
我得趕去登機門，不好意思

31
00:01:24,709 --> 00:01:27,545
你這樣說好像幫你設鬧鐘的是我
又不關我的事

32
00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:30,924
天啊，我真希望
今天早上幫忙叫醒我的人是你

33
00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:34,636
拜託，我才不想叫醒你咧

34
00:01:34,719 --> 00:01:38,098
-搔你的蛋蛋嗎？我才不要
-不，我不是那個意思

35
00:01:38,181 --> 00:01:39,349
好，下一位

36
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,937
不好意思，你平常
都這樣遞東西給你太太嗎？

37
00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:46,356
輕輕地遞給我

38
00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:47,690
輕輕地？

39
00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:48,733
對，輕輕地

40
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:58,034
謝謝

41
00:01:58,827 --> 00:01:59,953
看鏡頭

42
00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:04,707
-可以把你的蠢帽子拿下來嗎？
-當然，抱歉

43
00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:07,252
天啊，你的頭好大

44
00:02:08,002 --> 00:02:12,215
對啊，據說這是聰明的象徵

45
00:02:12,298 --> 00:02:15,093
聽說愛因斯坦的腦袋瓜也很大

46
00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:18,096
是那個有一座變態島的傢伙吧？

47
00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:21,307
不，你想到的是傑佛瑞艾普斯坦

48
00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:22,308
天啊

49
00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:24,894
嘿，大頭艾普斯坦來了

50
00:02:25,854 --> 00:02:27,647
-謝謝
-下一位

51
00:02:27,730 --> 00:02:30,441
提醒一下，鞋子不用脫

52
00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:31,901
皮帶要拿掉

53
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:34,988
大型電子產品單獨放進另一個托盤

54
00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:37,574
你為什麼穿著鞋子？

55
00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:42,787
我剛才聽到那個人說不用脫鞋子

56
00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:45,832
-哪個人？
-應該就是這位先生

57
00:02:45,915 --> 00:02:47,917
我聽到他這麼說

58
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,627
你剛叫我黑鬼嗎？

59
00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:52,797
沒有，我只是聽到你說…

60
00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:54,174
我什麼都沒說

61
00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:55,925
不好意思，所以鞋子要脫嗎？

62
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,635
-少在那邊胡說
-聽好了

63
00:02:57,719 --> 00:02:58,803
鞋子脫掉

64
00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:00,555
-鞋子不用脫
-皮帶不用拿掉

65
00:03:00,638 --> 00:03:03,016
-皮帶拿掉、外套穿著
-好吧，我道歉

66
00:03:03,099 --> 00:03:04,726
-我把鞋子脫掉
-他以為自己是大明星

67
00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:05,894
踏進去

68
00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:08,563
雙手舉過頭

69
00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:10,690
保持這個姿勢

70
00:03:10,773 --> 00:03:11,900
出來

71
00:03:14,068 --> 00:03:16,905
機器顯示我必須進行二次安檢

72
00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:19,574
你同意進行二次安檢嗎？

73
00:03:19,657 --> 00:03:22,577
好吧，你先過去
我在登機門跟你會合

74
00:03:22,660 --> 00:03:23,745
好

75
00:03:23,828 --> 00:03:25,955
先生，這只要幾分鐘就好

76
00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:29,292
-你這樣肯定會有人跟你回家
-沒錯

77
00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:31,085
呼叫派翠西亞做二次安檢

78
00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:32,503
收到，我得過去了

79
00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:33,630
再見，賤人

80
00:03:35,131 --> 00:03:36,424
你剛呼叫派翠西亞嗎？

81
00:03:36,507 --> 00:03:37,592
崔西

82
00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:40,136
-你好嗎？
-我喝了你的無糖百事

83
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,638
-沒關係
-天啊

84
00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:43,431
-你還在這裡？
-你好嗎？

85
00:03:43,514 --> 00:03:45,892
-太扯了
-就是說啊

86
00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:47,602
好吧，腿張開

87
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,356
好

88
00:03:52,106 --> 00:03:53,399
這是什麼鬼東西？

89
00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:56,611
你下面肉太厚了吧

90
00:03:56,694 --> 00:04:00,281
可能有問題喔
去給看老二和蛋蛋的醫生檢查一下吧

91
00:04:00,365 --> 00:04:02,075
看前列腺的，對，謝謝提醒

92
00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:06,955
這裡面有什麼？

93
00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:09,499
女士，還需要檢查多久？

94
00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:10,959
我得趕上這班飛機

95
00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:13,336
我手放這裡的時候
你可以不要變大嗎？

96
00:04:13,419 --> 00:04:14,879
我應該沒有變大

97
00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:16,256
我剛有看到你太太

98
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:19,175
她應該不會喜歡你這樣亂看別的女人

99
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,219
-我怎樣看你？
-像那樣

100
00:04:21,302 --> 00:04:22,845
好像你想上我一樣

101
00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:25,431
人家都說我長得像蕾哈娜

102
00:04:27,642 --> 00:04:29,018
對

103
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:30,436
她是個美女

104
00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:33,022
-幹
-怎麼了？

105
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,440
靠

106
00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:36,651
你的爛腿弄斷我的指甲了

107
00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:37,652
是喔

108
00:04:39,028 --> 00:04:40,238
我可以走了嗎？

109
00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:41,906
可以，快滾吧

110
00:04:42,573 --> 00:04:44,742
-很高興認識你
-走這邊啦

111
00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:47,203
-去拿你的包包
-幹

112
00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:52,208
快點…

113
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:53,626
天啊

114
00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:55,503
泰迪，你看看這個

115
00:04:55,586 --> 00:04:58,673
你看這個人直接被一台大聯結車撞飛

116
00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:00,633
拜託

117
00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:03,469
派翠西亞，那不是真的，那是AI影片

118
00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:04,387
你怎麼知道？

119
00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:07,432
卡車司機是葛痞德

120
00:05:07,515 --> 00:05:09,392
他原本是卡通人物

121
00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:11,894
那是個真人，AI到底是什麼鬼？

122
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,396
糟了

123
00:05:13,479 --> 00:05:16,024
派翠西亞，你在那邊鬧
害我漏掉一個包包

124
00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:17,817
我得再掃一次

125
00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:20,236
是我的錯，我會處理
別擔心，我來處理

126
00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:23,031
這是誰的破包？

127
00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:27,035
這包包好臭

128
00:05:27,118 --> 00:05:29,287
-儘管看吧
-好

129
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,372
開始了

130
00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:35,501
看看裡面裝了什麼噁心的東西

131
00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:42,216
這台相機裝鋰電池嗎？

132
00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:44,260
知道嗎？你把相機留著吧

133
00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:46,512
好，泰迪

134
00:05:47,096 --> 00:05:49,682
-你喜歡拍照，對吧？
-沒錯

135
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:51,934
我就知道你有這種變態嗜好，拿去

136
00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:55,855
你這混蛋提早過聖誕節了

137
00:05:56,731 --> 00:05:58,441
你知道我很會照顧自己人

138
00:05:58,524 --> 00:05:59,692
謝謝

139
00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:01,194
好，幫我拍幾張照

140
00:06:01,277 --> 00:06:03,863
重申，這是最後登機廣播…

141
00:06:03,946 --> 00:06:05,740
我轉身讓你拍

142
00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:08,159
我想要看起來像索蘭芝

143
00:06:08,242 --> 00:06:10,912
-很像，你很美
-謝謝

144
00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:15,666
-你看起來很棒
-泰迪，我知道你喜歡什麼

145
00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:17,377
你別鬧了，好嗎？

146
00:06:20,171 --> 00:06:21,464
你說什麼？

147
00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:26,052
女士，你對我有什麼意見？

148
00:06:26,135 --> 00:06:27,970
你刻意針對我

149
00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:31,891
讓我經歷了地獄般的磨難

150
00:06:31,974 --> 00:06:33,726
而且讓我覺得…

151
00:06:35,603 --> 00:06:37,438
覺得我快爆炸了

152
00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:41,359
他有炸彈

153
00:06:42,318 --> 00:06:44,404
（快訊）

154
00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:47,698
亞特蘭大機場
成功阻止了一起恐怖攻擊

155
00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:49,283
嫌犯馬克威克

156
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:51,119
被運輸安全管理局人員攔下

157
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:55,498
並發現他的隨身行李與直腸裡
藏有多個爆裂物

158
00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:59,502
若不是資深運輸安全管理局人員
派翠西亞芬奇，他可能就會得逞

159
00:06:59,585 --> 00:07:03,047
她因英勇無畏的舉動而受到表揚

160
00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:05,633
首先，我要感謝耶穌

161
00:07:05,716 --> 00:07:07,593
我所做的一切都是為了耶穌

162
00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:08,845
我不信聖人

163
00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:10,138
和那類的狗屁

164
00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:12,682
身為在亞特蘭大長大的白人女孩

165
00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:15,268
我向來很會看人

166
00:07:15,351 --> 00:07:18,312
能判斷誰是大爛人

167
00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:21,023
如果你的眉毛太粗，滾

168
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:24,152
如果你的眼神呆滯，再見

169
00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:26,112
如果你身上有怪味

170
00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:28,489
就滾去灰狗巴士站

171
00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:30,324
你這混蛋根本不配去機場

172
00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:31,617
好了，幫我拍照吧

173
00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:33,453
嘿

174
00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:34,871
轉過身來

175
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:36,914
-我受訪有錢拿嗎？
-沒有

176
00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:38,749
好吧，我不玩了

177
00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:40,710
好，再見

178
00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:48,176
《我的歪腦筋》

179
00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:50,261
（強力重擊製片廠）

180
00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:55,641
我的兄弟

181
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:57,018
我沒遲到吧？

182
00:07:57,101 --> 00:07:58,394
沒有

183
00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:01,856
讓我看看你，對，你看起來棒極了

184
00:08:01,939 --> 00:08:03,858
你現在身材真好

185
00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:04,984
這件外套很好看

186
00:08:05,067 --> 00:08:07,612
你看起來苗條、有自信
準備大展身手了

187
00:08:07,695 --> 00:08:09,280
-謝了
-不客氣

188
00:08:10,239 --> 00:08:12,200
這是個大好機會，對吧？

189
00:08:14,452 --> 00:08:15,328
沒錯

190
00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:20,875
太好了…因為我必須說

191
00:08:20,958 --> 00:08:22,335
我不想拍《我的歪腦筋》了

192
00:08:23,127 --> 00:08:25,254
我很感激有這個機會，你知道的

193
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:29,425
我只是不想再弄
奇怪的特效妝和假髮了

194
00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:34,430
我想讓大家知道
我很認真看待演戲這件事

195
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:35,765
我想拍…

196
00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:36,807
卡車

197
00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:40,102
-什麼？
-大卡車

198
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:41,479
18輪卡車

199
00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:44,607
你為什麼老是提到卡車？

200
00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:48,277
我也不知道
我為什麼提到卡車，你繼續說

201
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,905
好，我的意思是我想拍長片

202
00:08:50,988 --> 00:08:53,950
好，那就是我們來這裡的原因，兄弟

203
00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:57,662
有個號稱亞洲克里斯多福諾蘭的傢伙

204
00:08:57,745 --> 00:08:59,580
即將邀你出演一部巨片

205
00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:04,043
這表示這部片會非常深奧且發人深省

206
00:09:04,126 --> 00:09:07,088
你現在應該要興奮得射在內褲裡了

207
00:09:07,171 --> 00:09:10,174
我想看你爽到噴出來的樣子

208
00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:11,133
好

209
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:14,303
我要你褲襠濕成一片走進去

210
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:17,682
像個13歲的小怪胎一樣渾身精臭味

211
00:09:17,765 --> 00:09:18,766
湯姆？

212
00:09:18,849 --> 00:09:20,017
可以進去了

213
00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:25,565
這是高級瓶裝水

214
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,441
這些人很懂喔

215
00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:29,986
嘿

216
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:32,905
你看起來很有型

217
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:34,407
謝了

218
00:09:35,199 --> 00:09:37,660
湯姆塞古拉

219
00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:40,913
天啊，你看起來真苗條

220
00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:43,124
如果我不是女同志
早就直接跟你開幹了

221
00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:45,835
別被這指甲騙了，我真的是女同志

222
00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:47,336
讚喔，我愛女同志

223
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,463
我看過很多女同志的東西

224
00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:51,382
湯姆，我要介紹一個人給你認識

225
00:09:51,465 --> 00:09:54,885
他對強力重擊來說非常重要

226
00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:58,306
這位是增本義先生

227
00:09:58,389 --> 00:10:01,142
世界上僅存的天才之一

228
00:10:01,225 --> 00:10:03,227
你一定很熟悉他的作品

229
00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:07,189
增本先生創作出

230
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:11,027
有史以來最暢銷的圖像小說

231
00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:12,445
-太厲害了
-對

232
00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:13,779
你好

233
00:10:17,366 --> 00:10:19,452
增本先生深感榮幸能邀請到您

234
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:21,495
謝謝

235
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:29,670
他還說你很風趣又禿頭

236
00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:32,381
-是
-而且他很喜歡你的藍眼睛

237
00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:35,301
我總說他的眼睛在鏡頭前非常亮眼

238
00:10:37,219 --> 00:10:39,096
謝謝，您過獎了

239
00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:42,933
太好了

240
00:10:43,017 --> 00:10:44,935
好，坐吧

241
00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:45,895
好

242
00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:49,607
湯姆，你一定想知道你來這裡做什麼

243
00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:52,693
對，我們剛還在說這一切都好保密

244
00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:55,029
保密又刺激到不行

245
00:10:55,112 --> 00:10:58,824
好，我們也有同感

246
00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:01,702
增本先生的傑作

247
00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:03,412
標題名為《汝等野郎》

248
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:04,789
-《汝等野郎》
-沒錯

249
00:11:04,872 --> 00:11:05,998
《汝等野郎》

250
00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:07,708
琅琅上口

251
00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:11,170
經過多年，我們終於

252
00:11:11,253 --> 00:11:14,924
要把他精彩的圖像小說

253
00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:18,969
改編成高成本的真人長片

254
00:11:19,053 --> 00:11:21,180
太棒了，我愛長片

255
00:11:21,263 --> 00:11:22,765
我可以替他背書

256
00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:25,434
湯姆的確很愛長片

257
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:26,560
好了，別太超過

258
00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:29,313
湯姆，你之所以會來這裡

259
00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:33,609
是因為增本先生指定

260
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:36,404
由你來擔綱演出主角

261
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,281
-真的嗎？
-就是說啊

262
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:41,617
我們的反應跟你一樣

263
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:45,538
明明有很多其他適合的人選

264
00:11:45,621 --> 00:11:48,582
而且他們還是電影明星，對吧？

265
00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:51,752
但他清楚表示

266
00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:53,504
他就是要你

267
00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:56,382
我覺得我快射了

268
00:11:57,883 --> 00:11:59,051
找他準沒錯

269
00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:00,386
我們要在哪裡簽名？

270
00:12:01,345 --> 00:12:04,515
我的意思是，我們想了解更多

271
00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:05,641
對

272
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:08,644
我受寵若驚，謝謝你們

273
00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:12,606
聽起來很棒
但可以多告訴我一點細節嗎？

274
00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:14,734
當然可以…

275
00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:17,027
來詳談整個計畫吧，好的

276
00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:20,156
請看

277
00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:21,615
新東京城

278
00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:27,246
在化災汙染後的廢土上
這是人類最後的避風港

279
00:12:27,329 --> 00:12:30,958
然而邊境周圍危機四伏

280
00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:35,629
叛變的生化人正從四面八方步步進逼

281
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:39,175
但在暗影之中，一個身影悄然浮現…

282
00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:41,552
武士道

283
00:12:42,344 --> 00:12:46,432
沒錯，這位在流亡中淬煉

284
00:12:46,515 --> 00:12:47,933
順應天命而生的離群戰士

285
00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:50,853
注定要剷除世間邪惡

286
00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:56,358
並拯救瀕臨滅絕的人類文明

287
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:57,610
那就是你的角色

288
00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:01,864
哇

289
00:13:03,073 --> 00:13:05,117
噴啦，我剛射了

290
00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:06,619
我警告過你們了

291
00:13:07,369 --> 00:13:09,038
所以他要演一個超級狠角色？

292
00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:12,041
可能連演都不用演

293
00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:14,376
嘿…你收斂一點

294
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:17,797
其實這角色有點像個隱士

295
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:20,049
對，他住在下水道裡

296
00:13:21,008 --> 00:13:23,052
下水道裡？

297
00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:26,722
對，他從城市的廢棄物中獲得力量

298
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:29,141
但會把力量用在正途上

299
00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:31,143
-對
-我就說吧，很有深度

300
00:13:32,019 --> 00:13:34,563
很有趣，這部片叫什麼名字？

301
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,524
-汝等…
-《汝等野郎》

302
00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:38,150
《汝等野郎》

303
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:42,321
對，但我們當然會用英文譯名

304
00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:43,989
《豬乳屎獸》

305
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:47,451
《豬乳屎獸》

306
00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:50,246
哇，很有衝擊性

307
00:13:50,996 --> 00:13:52,498
《豬乳屎獸》？

308
00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:55,876
對，因為他有豬的乳房

309
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,711
同時是隻在屎裡打滾的野獸

310
00:13:57,795 --> 00:14:00,214
有點在玩文字遊戲

311
00:14:00,297 --> 00:14:02,007
很屌，我懂

312
00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:03,717
有異國風情、很前衛

313
00:14:03,801 --> 00:14:05,427
我超喜歡的

314
00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:07,471
你喜歡這東西？

315
00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:09,765
他需要你增重大約70…

316
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,433
以你現在的身材，要增重超過90公斤

317
00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:14,186
你必須變胖

318
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,982
一定要是真的，不能用電腦特效

319
00:14:18,065 --> 00:14:21,735
你當初之所以會引起增本先生的注意

320
00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:26,532
是因為你2014年的
爆笑喜劇秀《完全正常》

321
00:14:26,615 --> 00:14:28,158
爆笑喜劇秀

322
00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:29,535
很好笑

323
00:14:29,618 --> 00:14:31,203
謝謝你的收看

324
00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:35,624
他一看到你的臉就說
「那就是我的豬乳屎獸」

325
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:38,878
你簡直是他腦海中那個角色的化身

326
00:14:38,961 --> 00:14:43,632
事實上，你最近減重一事
讓他心碎不已

327
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:47,678
跟他看到胖愛黛兒瘦下來時一樣難過

328
00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:52,016
對，保持身材很難，但…

329
00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:58,606
你以前也胖過

330
00:14:58,689 --> 00:15:02,693
你這頭小豬
拚命往嘴裡塞食物就對了

331
00:15:02,776 --> 00:15:04,778
是他說的，不是我

332
00:15:06,071 --> 00:15:08,574
那從他胸部噴出來的是什麼東西？

333
00:15:08,657 --> 00:15:10,951
那些是乳頭，噴出來的是血

334
00:15:11,785 --> 00:15:14,246
他透過殺戮來補充流失的能量

335
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:16,457
所以他才生活在墮胎診所的地下

336
00:15:16,540 --> 00:15:20,377
他會一個一個吃掉胎兒

337
00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:24,298
當他吃光時，就會噴發出穢物

338
00:15:24,381 --> 00:15:25,549
從他的奶子噴出來

339
00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:26,926
-乳頭
-對

340
00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:28,052
他的乳頭，沒錯

341
00:15:28,135 --> 00:15:30,012
當然，非常合理

342
00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:32,723
我已經替你準備好合約了

343
00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:34,892
所有細節都列在上面

344
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,021
這實在…

345
00:15:39,521 --> 00:15:42,483
我不知道，我覺得我不太懂

346
00:15:42,566 --> 00:15:44,652
也許這個能幫助你理解

347
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:52,284
-那是…
-對，這是便當盒

348
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:53,744
這只是雛形

349
00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:57,247
但想像一下
其中一孔噴出牛奶、另一孔噴出果汁

350
00:15:57,331 --> 00:16:00,084
如果你的小孩有乳糖不耐症
也可以噴燕麥奶

351
00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:02,962
我滿喜歡奶子的，可以捏捏看嗎？

352
00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:04,254
親愛的，儘管捏

353
00:16:07,257 --> 00:16:09,593
哇，這摸起來就像真的奶子

354
00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:11,512
-乳頭
-乳頭

355
00:16:11,595 --> 00:16:13,389
毛髮的細節不錯

356
00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:18,018
是啊，我腦袋轉不太過來

357
00:16:19,186 --> 00:16:21,981
資訊量有點太大了
能不能給我們一點時間…

358
00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:23,941
好，你們快速討論一下

359
00:16:24,024 --> 00:16:25,025
好

360
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,277
搞什麼啊？

361
00:16:28,696 --> 00:16:30,280
這都是談判的過程

362
00:16:30,364 --> 00:16:33,325
聽著，我知道你很努力在維持身材

363
00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:35,452
真的很了不起，但現實是

364
00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:38,747
你的個人形象就是噁心的邋遢鬼

365
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,582
大眾就是這樣看待你的

366
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:43,669
這部片是你的《黑豹》

367
00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:45,879
《肥豹》

368
00:16:49,216 --> 00:16:50,426
各位

369
00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:53,345
雖然我很感激

370
00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:55,597
你們給我的大部分評價

371
00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:59,852
但我實在無法想像自己演這個角色

372
00:16:59,935 --> 00:17:04,189
先生，我真的希望
你能找到適合的人選

373
00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:06,567
但那個人不會是我

374
00:17:06,650 --> 00:17:07,818
不要嗎？

375
00:17:07,901 --> 00:17:12,948
因為我能想到大約80萬個

376
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,491
你應該接演這個角色的理由

377
00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:17,453
對我來說，錢不是重點

378
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:21,749
很遺憾，這不符合我現在的定位

379
00:17:21,832 --> 00:17:25,878
我必須禮貌地跟各位致謝
但我沒辦法出演這部片

380
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:35,304
1400萬

381
00:17:39,475 --> 00:17:41,602
我們有討價還價的空間

382
00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:43,771
老天啊

383
00:17:44,855 --> 00:17:45,773
幹

384
00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:50,277
來，再多一點

385
00:17:52,362 --> 00:17:54,198
叫出聲音來！嚄…

386
00:17:56,575 --> 00:17:58,452
你是我的喜劇豬

387
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:02,748
喜劇豬

388
00:18:23,685 --> 00:18:24,645
幹

389
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:44,248
幹

390
00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:49,837
字幕翻譯：張貝瑜