1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.BZ 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.BZ 3 00:00:34,998 --> 00:00:37,036 (ELECTRICAL BUZZING) 4 00:00:46,977 --> 00:00:49,147 (PHONE RINGING) 5 00:00:52,213 --> 00:00:53,708 Fuego del Culo. 6 00:00:53,877 --> 00:00:56,019 Girl, if it itches, it's crabs. 7 00:00:56,187 --> 00:00:57,717 ("SHAPESHIFT" BY HAVEMORALS PLAYS) 8 00:00:57,919 --> 00:00:59,350 ♪ I switched the game No time for playing ♪ 9 00:00:59,552 --> 00:01:01,122 ♪ I'm redefined ♪ 10 00:01:01,324 --> 00:01:02,654 ♪ Now I'ma transform ♪ 11 00:01:02,856 --> 00:01:04,926 ♪ Right in front Of all your eyes ♪ 12 00:01:05,129 --> 00:01:06,164 ♪ I shapeshift ♪ 13 00:01:10,499 --> 00:01:12,871 Hey, girl. You want some brown liquor? 14 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:14,902 Brown liquor don't make this pussy pop. 15 00:01:15,071 --> 00:01:17,036 Tequila it is. 16 00:01:17,205 --> 00:01:19,309 Here you go. Mm. 17 00:01:22,178 --> 00:01:23,980 !Viva la revolución! 18 00:01:24,182 --> 00:01:25,378 Now, that shit right there make 19 00:01:25,547 --> 00:01:27,215 my pussy pop on a handstand! 20 00:01:27,384 --> 00:01:28,952 So, what are you doing here anyway? 21 00:01:29,154 --> 00:01:31,087 What do you think I'm doing here? 22 00:01:31,255 --> 00:01:32,748 I'm starring in the opening scene. 23 00:01:32,917 --> 00:01:35,292 Been there, done that. (PHONE BUZZES) 24 00:01:35,460 --> 00:01:37,662 RINGTONE: Pick up the phone! Pick up the pho-- 25 00:01:37,865 --> 00:01:39,922 Richie? Teyana. Hi. 26 00:01:40,091 --> 00:01:41,395 I thought it'd be easier for the audience 27 00:01:41,564 --> 00:01:43,625 if they didn't have to read more texts. 28 00:01:43,827 --> 00:01:45,796 Yeah, that makes sense. 'Cause you know these motherfuckers can't read. 29 00:01:45,998 --> 00:01:49,505 I know who goes to see a Wayans Brothers movie. 30 00:01:49,707 --> 00:01:51,742 RICHIE: Well, it's nice to phone-meet you 31 00:01:51,911 --> 00:01:53,439 in this super awkward way. 32 00:01:53,607 --> 00:01:55,280 Likewise. But I got to be honest. 33 00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:57,980 When I seen your profile pic, a bitch almost swiped left 34 00:01:58,149 --> 00:01:59,584 because you look mad goofy. 35 00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:01,243 But surprisingly, 36 00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:04,021 you know them goofy niggas got big dicks, so here we are. 37 00:02:04,223 --> 00:02:05,688 RICHIE: I take you for a Jersey girl. 38 00:02:05,890 --> 00:02:06,824 A Jersey girl? 39 00:02:06,993 --> 00:02:09,118 Listen, I love Jersey down. 40 00:02:09,287 --> 00:02:11,663 But I'm a Harlem girl. Born and motherfucking raised. 41 00:02:11,866 --> 00:02:13,622 Real niggas only. Yeah. 42 00:02:13,791 --> 00:02:15,629 RICHIE: Oh, so you're Black. 43 00:02:17,463 --> 00:02:18,770 No, motherfucker! 44 00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:20,638 I'm BLACK! (DINERS GASP) 45 00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,101 TEYANA: All caps. 46 00:02:22,270 --> 00:02:24,774 No cap, but caps. 47 00:02:24,942 --> 00:02:26,475 Fuck all y'all! 48 00:02:27,709 --> 00:02:29,580 Bitch, spit them pearls back out. 49 00:02:29,749 --> 00:02:30,539 (WOMAN GAGS) 50 00:02:30,741 --> 00:02:32,382 I ain't want your shit. 51 00:02:33,414 --> 00:02:35,152 Hello. So tell me, 52 00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:37,286 what's your favorite scary movie? 53 00:02:37,455 --> 00:02:39,517 Mm... I don't really do them, you know. 54 00:02:39,686 --> 00:02:40,949 All the stupid tropes and shit. 55 00:02:41,118 --> 00:02:42,656 Why is it always the white bitch at the end? 56 00:02:42,825 --> 00:02:44,759 Because they know it is too hard to kill a sista. 57 00:02:44,928 --> 00:02:46,823 Y'know what I'm sayin'? Cause if the sista can survive 58 00:02:46,992 --> 00:02:49,425 government cheese, we can survive anything. 59 00:02:49,594 --> 00:02:51,129 (RICHIE CHUCKLES) 60 00:02:51,298 --> 00:02:53,169 RICHIE: You know, it might help if you met me outside. 61 00:02:53,338 --> 00:02:55,405 Met you outside? Boy, you is needy! 62 00:02:56,474 --> 00:02:58,139 What's your sign? You must be a Scorpio. 63 00:02:58,308 --> 00:02:59,373 RICHIE: How'd you know? 64 00:02:59,542 --> 00:03:01,346 Good dick though. But toxic as hell. 65 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,344 RICHIE: Hey, is the restaurant near an alley? 66 00:03:03,513 --> 00:03:06,147 Yes, hurry before they rob your ass. 67 00:03:06,316 --> 00:03:07,885 Roses? Ah! Not today. 68 00:03:08,087 --> 00:03:09,850 Cheap bitch. Heard you, ho. 69 00:03:10,019 --> 00:03:12,485 RICHIE: Okay, I'm-- I'm coming down the alley now. 70 00:03:12,654 --> 00:03:14,688 I'm here. Can you see me? I'm waving. 71 00:03:15,355 --> 00:03:16,886 RICHIE: No. 72 00:03:17,055 --> 00:03:19,096 The person I'm looking at is not waving. 73 00:03:19,298 --> 00:03:21,095 In fact, they're just staring at me. 74 00:03:21,298 --> 00:03:23,197 Well, stare at his ass back! 75 00:03:23,366 --> 00:03:24,862 And don't blink. Never blink. 76 00:03:25,031 --> 00:03:26,864 You got to scrunch your lips and be like, "What?" 77 00:03:27,033 --> 00:03:28,831 RICHIE: No, they're walking towards me now. 78 00:03:28,999 --> 00:03:31,107 Hold on. Oh no, they have a knife! 79 00:03:31,309 --> 00:03:33,168 Well, don't lead his ass over here. 80 00:03:33,336 --> 00:03:34,270 RICHIE: And that's not the worst part. 81 00:03:34,473 --> 00:03:35,875 (BEEP, TONE) 82 00:03:36,044 --> 00:03:38,676 (VOICE DISTORTS) The worst part is you know so much 83 00:03:38,845 --> 00:03:41,082 about horror movies and yet you still 84 00:03:41,285 --> 00:03:44,053 walked into the alley alone. 85 00:03:44,222 --> 00:03:46,289 Yeah, well the worst part is, 86 00:03:46,491 --> 00:03:49,494 you fucking with a New York bitch. Cuckoo! 87 00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:50,860 Yeah! 88 00:03:51,029 --> 00:03:53,162 (TEYANA WHOOPING) 89 00:03:53,331 --> 00:03:55,395 TEYANA: Cuckoo, cuckoo! 90 00:03:55,564 --> 00:03:57,060 (GRUNTS) TEYANA: Cuckoo! 91 00:03:58,903 --> 00:04:00,365 (GRUNTS) 92 00:04:00,533 --> 00:04:02,604 (HELICOPTER WHIRRING) 93 00:04:06,346 --> 00:04:08,445 GHOSTFACE: Damn! She's on some Avengers shit! 94 00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:14,077 (BELL DINGS) 95 00:04:16,747 --> 00:04:18,213 (BELL DINGING) 96 00:04:18,924 --> 00:04:20,017 (BELL DINGS) 97 00:04:22,027 --> 00:04:23,226 Seriously, Larry? 98 00:04:23,394 --> 00:04:24,591 I ain't recognize your bird call. 99 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:26,595 Thought you was going more with a-- (COOS) 100 00:04:26,764 --> 00:04:29,166 That's a pigeon, nigga! Supposed to be, "Cuckoo!" 101 00:04:29,368 --> 00:04:32,403 Cuckoo! A hawk swooping in an attack! 102 00:04:33,300 --> 00:04:34,300 My bad. 103 00:04:34,469 --> 00:04:35,769 GHOSTFACE: Are you done? 104 00:04:37,602 --> 00:04:38,467 What the hell? 105 00:04:38,669 --> 00:04:40,772 (GROUP CHUCKLES) 106 00:04:40,941 --> 00:04:44,208 Bitch, I'm Teyana Taylor. My abs got abs. 107 00:04:44,377 --> 00:04:45,647 Get him! 108 00:04:45,815 --> 00:04:47,443 GHOSTFACE: Ow! My arm! My arm! (GLASS SHATTERS) 109 00:04:47,612 --> 00:04:48,946 Get in there! 110 00:04:49,115 --> 00:04:50,721 GHOSTFACE: Come on, guys, we can work this out. 111 00:04:50,890 --> 00:04:51,721 (MEN JEERING) 112 00:04:51,890 --> 00:04:52,987 (GRUNTS) 113 00:04:53,156 --> 00:04:54,882 (GRUNTING) 114 00:04:55,051 --> 00:04:56,651 GHOSTFACE: Somebody help me! 115 00:04:56,820 --> 00:04:58,162 MAN: Do it, Larry! 116 00:04:58,365 --> 00:04:59,991 GHOSTFACE: No, no, no-- (GRUNTS) 117 00:05:01,066 --> 00:05:02,263 MAN 2: Hi-yah! 118 00:05:02,432 --> 00:05:04,125 GHOSTFACE: Ow! Oh, God! 119 00:05:04,294 --> 00:05:05,829 All right, all right, all right, all right! 120 00:05:06,031 --> 00:05:07,867 We out. Get your hardheaded ass on. 121 00:05:08,900 --> 00:05:10,765 Welcome to New York, sucker! 122 00:05:10,934 --> 00:05:12,174 GHOSTFACE: Hey, Teyana. 123 00:05:12,343 --> 00:05:13,738 You might have kicked my ass, 124 00:05:13,907 --> 00:05:16,540 but you still didn't win that Oscar. 125 00:05:16,743 --> 00:05:18,446 What you say about my Oscar? 126 00:05:18,614 --> 00:05:21,345 GHOSTFACE: Did I stutter? You lost! 127 00:05:21,547 --> 00:05:22,813 You right. 128 00:05:22,982 --> 00:05:24,884 But I won that Golden Globe, bitch. 129 00:05:25,785 --> 00:05:27,489 GIRL: Oh, my God! Really? 130 00:05:27,658 --> 00:05:29,025 That's why I never watched Horror Movie. 131 00:05:29,227 --> 00:05:30,593 It's fucking terrible. 132 00:05:30,761 --> 00:05:33,126 Just a bunch of celebrity cameos and fart gags. 133 00:05:33,295 --> 00:05:34,595 (SIGHS) 134 00:05:34,764 --> 00:05:35,957 GIRL ON PHONE: So, you don't like parodies? 135 00:05:36,126 --> 00:05:37,825 I'm more into Judd Apatow films. 136 00:05:37,994 --> 00:05:40,534 You know, elevated comedy. 137 00:05:40,702 --> 00:05:42,797 GIRL: And what is elevated comedy? 138 00:05:42,966 --> 00:05:44,366 Mm. (INHALER CLATTERS) 139 00:05:44,534 --> 00:05:45,672 The kind that doesn't actually make anyone laugh, 140 00:05:45,841 --> 00:05:47,306 but makes white people feel smart. 141 00:05:47,474 --> 00:05:48,380 (DOORBELL RINGS) 142 00:05:49,647 --> 00:05:50,882 GIRL: Tuesday, don't answer that! 143 00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:52,476 It could be Ghostface. 144 00:05:52,645 --> 00:05:54,219 Oh, come on, Elle! 145 00:05:54,421 --> 00:05:56,355 Stuff like that only happens in the movies. 146 00:05:59,124 --> 00:06:00,456 GHOSTFACE: Oh, hey. 147 00:06:00,625 --> 00:06:02,854 I wasn't expecting you to answer the door. 148 00:06:03,023 --> 00:06:06,028 What the fuck? Now where is my knife? 149 00:06:06,197 --> 00:06:07,997 Ah, here it is. 150 00:06:08,166 --> 00:06:10,734 Hello, Tuesday. 151 00:06:10,903 --> 00:06:12,998 (SCREAMS) 152 00:06:14,206 --> 00:06:16,232 ("MESSY" BY REDD. PLAYS) 153 00:06:19,577 --> 00:06:21,637 ♪ I really wanna get messy ♪ 154 00:06:21,806 --> 00:06:23,338 (PEOPLE SCREAMING) 155 00:06:23,540 --> 00:06:25,845 ♪ Don't care what I'm doing Next week ♪ 156 00:06:26,047 --> 00:06:28,916 ♪ You really don't wanna Test me ♪ 157 00:06:29,118 --> 00:06:31,586 ♪ Just pass the drinks And get sexy ♪ 158 00:06:31,789 --> 00:06:34,390 ♪ Get messy Baby, get messy ♪ 159 00:06:34,559 --> 00:06:37,594 (PEOPLE SCREAMING) Hey, miss. 160 00:06:38,657 --> 00:06:39,821 What'd you take? 161 00:06:39,990 --> 00:06:41,690 Just Ritalin for my ADHD. 162 00:06:41,859 --> 00:06:43,266 Adderall for PTSD. 163 00:06:43,468 --> 00:06:45,532 A couple of Xanax for my anxiety. 164 00:06:45,701 --> 00:06:47,538 And your boner pills. (GIGGLES) 165 00:06:47,707 --> 00:06:50,934 So good luck getting it up now. (DENIM STRAINS) 166 00:06:51,137 --> 00:06:53,740 JACK: Jesus, Sara, how many did you take? 167 00:06:53,909 --> 00:06:55,670 I don't know. How many come in a bottle? 168 00:06:55,839 --> 00:06:57,410 (PHONE RINGS) 169 00:06:57,579 --> 00:06:59,084 Hey, Jess. Sara, 170 00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:00,608 Tuesday's in the hospital. 171 00:07:00,777 --> 00:07:04,054 She was stabbed. By a killer-- you know, Ghostface. 172 00:07:04,223 --> 00:07:05,556 Wait. From Wu-Tang? 173 00:07:05,724 --> 00:07:07,853 Why would Ghostface Killah aka Pretty Toney 174 00:07:08,022 --> 00:07:10,153 aka Starky Love want to stab my sister? 175 00:07:10,355 --> 00:07:12,429 JESS: God, Sara, it wasn't Ghostface Killah. 176 00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:14,260 It was somebody in a Ghostface mask. 177 00:07:14,429 --> 00:07:15,461 Oh! (CHUCKLES) 178 00:07:15,664 --> 00:07:17,430 Okay, that makes more sense. 179 00:07:17,598 --> 00:07:20,036 (SCREAMS) (GRUNTS) 180 00:07:20,205 --> 00:07:21,001 (SARA GRUNTING) 181 00:07:21,203 --> 00:07:22,067 Hah! 182 00:07:23,066 --> 00:07:25,337 I ain't the one! (HOCKS) 183 00:07:25,539 --> 00:07:26,975 (GRUNTS) Oh! 184 00:07:27,178 --> 00:07:28,075 Jesus, Jack! 185 00:07:28,244 --> 00:07:29,579 What? 186 00:07:29,748 --> 00:07:31,711 I was thinking about wearing this for Halloween. 187 00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:33,308 My estranged flat-chested half-sister 188 00:07:33,477 --> 00:07:35,381 was nearly killed by a psycho in a ghost mask. 189 00:07:35,550 --> 00:07:36,817 (DISTANT SCREAMING) 190 00:07:36,986 --> 00:07:39,718 I got to go see her and make up for the past. 191 00:07:39,887 --> 00:07:41,519 Whoa-- Hey, hey, hey. (GASPS) 192 00:07:41,721 --> 00:07:42,920 I'm going with you. 193 00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:44,527 Not because I'm the obvious killer 194 00:07:44,729 --> 00:07:46,088 trying to lure you back to your hometown. 195 00:07:46,256 --> 00:07:47,823 I'm just the supportive boyfriend. 196 00:07:47,991 --> 00:07:49,263 Yeah. That's all. 197 00:07:49,432 --> 00:07:50,498 (PEOPLE SCREAMING) 198 00:07:50,700 --> 00:07:52,296 Okay, let's go. Get in the car. 199 00:07:52,465 --> 00:07:55,474 SARA: Listen, we just have to make one stop on the way. 200 00:07:56,339 --> 00:07:58,268 I survived. 201 00:07:58,436 --> 00:08:00,342 All thanks to my lucky penny. (PEOPLE SCREAMING) 202 00:08:00,511 --> 00:08:01,909 ("HOES" BY LIZZO PLAYS) 203 00:08:02,111 --> 00:08:04,044 ♪ The world would be Boring as fuck ♪ 204 00:08:04,246 --> 00:08:06,212 ♪ Without big booty Real hoochie mamas like me ♪ 205 00:08:06,414 --> 00:08:08,553 ♪ Grabbing ankles Throwing ass on ATVs ♪ 206 00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:10,754 ♪ Make 'em say "uh" I got Master P ♪ 207 00:08:10,956 --> 00:08:13,085 ♪ Doggy-style, look here, That's masterpiece ♪ 208 00:08:13,287 --> 00:08:14,989 ♪ I don't wanna be In no sausage fest ♪ 209 00:08:15,192 --> 00:08:17,529 ♪ Where my ladies at? Throw it east to west ♪ 210 00:08:17,731 --> 00:08:19,561 ♪ Wow, wow, wow, wow I'm impressed ♪ 211 00:08:19,763 --> 00:08:20,823 ♪ Booty up down, up down... ♪ 212 00:08:20,992 --> 00:08:23,029 (MUSIC CONTINUES, MUFFLED) 213 00:08:25,803 --> 00:08:29,464 I hate when y'all leave! Come give me a hug. 214 00:08:29,633 --> 00:08:32,707 Ma, come on, turn off this ratchet-ass music. 215 00:08:32,910 --> 00:08:35,343 It's embarrassing, especially for Black women. 216 00:08:35,511 --> 00:08:36,745 It's not embarrassing. 217 00:08:36,947 --> 00:08:38,544 I'm the cool ma everybody wish they had. 218 00:08:38,746 --> 00:08:40,011 I'm lit! Don't forget, 219 00:08:40,180 --> 00:08:41,949 I got practice later so I'll be home late. 220 00:08:42,117 --> 00:08:43,511 You only made the team because you're Black 221 00:08:43,680 --> 00:08:45,649 and those racist fucks assumed you could play. 222 00:08:45,818 --> 00:08:47,852 Mm. It's 2026. 223 00:08:48,021 --> 00:08:49,390 I don't think race is an issue. 224 00:08:49,592 --> 00:08:50,926 Do you read Black Twitter? 225 00:08:51,128 --> 00:08:52,322 No. 226 00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:53,857 Ugh, Brad, 227 00:08:54,026 --> 00:08:55,691 are you still dating that ho? 228 00:08:55,860 --> 00:08:56,695 GIRL: Okay. 229 00:08:56,864 --> 00:08:58,227 Stop ho-shaming her, heiffa. 230 00:08:58,396 --> 00:08:59,900 (SCOFFS) Just because Darrel and them 231 00:09:00,069 --> 00:09:01,900 ran a train on her doesn't make her a ho. 232 00:09:02,103 --> 00:09:04,803 She's not a "ho", she's "sex positive". 233 00:09:04,972 --> 00:09:06,875 Well, I'm positive she is a ho. 234 00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:09,872 Hey, girl! Look at you! 235 00:09:10,041 --> 00:09:11,416 Early for Halloween, huh? 236 00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:13,378 What you this year? Slutty schoolgirl? 237 00:09:13,547 --> 00:09:14,348 Ho-ey ho? 238 00:09:14,517 --> 00:09:16,417 Hi, Ms. Meeks. 239 00:09:16,586 --> 00:09:18,319 Love the hair. Very... 240 00:09:18,487 --> 00:09:19,915 Octavia Spencer. 241 00:09:20,117 --> 00:09:21,191 Well, thank you very much. 242 00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:22,726 I got to invite you over 243 00:09:22,894 --> 00:09:25,226 and make you a little shit pie. Ooh. (CHUCKLES) 244 00:09:25,395 --> 00:09:28,089 You know what? I got to get to African American History class. 245 00:09:28,291 --> 00:09:29,367 We're learning about slavery. 246 00:09:29,535 --> 00:09:31,894 Come to find out, it was a choice. 247 00:09:32,063 --> 00:09:33,099 You see that right there? 248 00:09:34,033 --> 00:09:35,704 That's Kanye? That's right. 249 00:09:35,873 --> 00:09:38,306 They've been teaching us wrong all this time. 250 00:09:38,508 --> 00:09:39,474 Mm-hmm. Stay Black! 251 00:09:39,677 --> 00:09:42,443 Bye, Ma. All right. Bye, baby. 252 00:09:42,645 --> 00:09:43,712 Bye, Ms. Meeks. Bye. 253 00:09:43,881 --> 00:09:45,878 Son, I put some condoms in your bag! 254 00:09:46,047 --> 00:09:47,610 You know how they try to trap y'all. 255 00:09:47,779 --> 00:09:48,884 Ma! 256 00:09:51,052 --> 00:09:52,985 Okay, seriously, "Sheriff Greg", 257 00:09:53,188 --> 00:09:54,789 you don't have to walk me to class. I'm fine. 258 00:09:54,958 --> 00:09:57,762 Jess, there's a serial killer on the loose. 259 00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:00,461 I'm not gonna let anything happen to my baby girl. 260 00:10:00,630 --> 00:10:02,559 Boy! Okay? I'm a baby boy! 261 00:10:02,728 --> 00:10:04,064 I'm sorry! 262 00:10:04,233 --> 00:10:05,969 I'm having a hard time with this transition. 263 00:10:06,171 --> 00:10:09,434 Okay, it's really simple. Treat me like one of the guys. 264 00:10:09,603 --> 00:10:10,804 Okay? 265 00:10:10,973 --> 00:10:13,311 All right. I-I can do that. Yeah. 266 00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:15,673 Slap fight. (CHUCKLES) (SCOFFS) Oh. 267 00:10:15,875 --> 00:10:16,848 You call that a slap? 268 00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:18,245 (GROANS) 269 00:10:18,414 --> 00:10:19,450 Whew. 270 00:10:19,618 --> 00:10:21,078 What the hell did you do that for? 271 00:10:21,247 --> 00:10:24,121 Don't act like such a bitch. (GRUNTS) 272 00:10:24,289 --> 00:10:25,783 (LAUGHS) Bitch. 273 00:10:25,951 --> 00:10:28,253 (STUDENTS CHATTERING) 274 00:10:28,955 --> 00:10:31,157 (CHUCKLES) Yeah, not bad. 275 00:10:33,963 --> 00:10:35,491 JACK: Who the hell lives like this? 276 00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:50,447 Oh, honey, it is so good to see you! 277 00:10:50,616 --> 00:10:52,340 Come in! Do you want some tea? 278 00:10:52,543 --> 00:10:55,209 Oh, my God, Mother. You look like shit! 279 00:10:55,411 --> 00:10:56,952 (SIGHS) JACK: Babe, please. 280 00:10:57,121 --> 00:10:58,580 This is clearly a woman who's run out of conditioner. 281 00:10:58,749 --> 00:11:00,751 Oh, be careful where you walk. The whole place 282 00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:02,354 is booby-trapped. 283 00:11:02,523 --> 00:11:04,557 You never know when that psycho's gonna come back. 284 00:11:04,759 --> 00:11:06,458 (GROANS) Come in. 285 00:11:06,627 --> 00:11:07,798 Okay. 286 00:11:10,928 --> 00:11:11,967 (SCREAMS) 287 00:11:14,230 --> 00:11:16,768 (YELPS, GRUNTS) 288 00:11:16,937 --> 00:11:19,469 (WEAKLY) I hate this job. 289 00:11:21,710 --> 00:11:23,044 JACK: Mrs. Campbell, 290 00:11:23,846 --> 00:11:25,977 I'm Jack, Sara's boyfriend. 291 00:11:26,146 --> 00:11:27,877 I've heard so much about you... 292 00:11:28,046 --> 00:11:29,215 Uh, none of it good. 293 00:11:30,250 --> 00:11:32,489 I have heard nothing about you, Jack. 294 00:11:32,658 --> 00:11:34,354 I assume you're a piece of shit. 295 00:11:34,523 --> 00:11:37,492 But how would I know when I haven't heard from my daughter 296 00:11:37,660 --> 00:11:39,493 in, what, six months? 297 00:11:39,662 --> 00:11:41,331 Six years, Mother. 298 00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:43,198 And whose fault is that? 299 00:11:43,367 --> 00:11:45,968 "And whose fault is that?" I don't know, maybe it's yours! 300 00:11:46,602 --> 00:11:47,870 That's fair. 301 00:11:48,039 --> 00:11:50,766 We want to learn from the horror you survived. 302 00:11:50,968 --> 00:11:51,737 Look... 303 00:11:51,973 --> 00:11:53,743 Scary Movie 3 and 4 304 00:11:53,945 --> 00:11:55,545 paid me a lot of money for a girl-- 305 00:11:55,714 --> 00:11:57,673 There is nothing to learn there. 306 00:11:57,842 --> 00:12:00,448 But if you want to talk about The House Bunny, shoot. 307 00:12:00,650 --> 00:12:02,215 It's happening again! 308 00:12:02,384 --> 00:12:05,686 Some asshole in a mask. We have to stop him. 309 00:12:05,855 --> 00:12:07,790 You're not ready, lovebug. 310 00:12:07,992 --> 00:12:11,152 I have been preparing for this for years. 311 00:12:11,321 --> 00:12:12,894 Sacrificed everything. 312 00:12:13,063 --> 00:12:16,026 You were a terrible mother. Come on, honey 313 00:12:16,195 --> 00:12:17,892 we had some good times. 314 00:12:18,061 --> 00:12:21,932 Like that Christmas I took you to meet Santa at the mall. 315 00:12:22,101 --> 00:12:23,299 ("JINGLE BELLS" PLAYS) 316 00:12:23,501 --> 00:12:25,643 ♪ Dashing through the snow ♪ 317 00:12:25,845 --> 00:12:28,913 ♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪ 318 00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:31,279 ♪ O'er the fields we go... ♪ Your turn, Sara. 319 00:12:31,448 --> 00:12:32,344 Move! 320 00:12:32,977 --> 00:12:34,375 Hi, Santa. 321 00:12:34,544 --> 00:12:37,716 Sorry if I don't sit in your lap. 322 00:12:37,885 --> 00:12:39,319 You creep me out. 323 00:12:39,522 --> 00:12:41,892 ♪ How fun it is To ride and sing... ♪ 324 00:12:46,958 --> 00:12:47,898 SARA: Mom? 325 00:12:48,700 --> 00:12:50,697 Santa gave me a severed arm! 326 00:12:50,865 --> 00:12:52,595 Be sure to thank him. 327 00:12:53,538 --> 00:12:55,873 (CHILDREN CHEERING) 328 00:12:57,674 --> 00:12:58,667 (CHILDREN CLAMORING) 329 00:12:59,302 --> 00:13:01,278 GIRL: Is that a foot? 330 00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:03,007 Ew, that's gross. 331 00:13:03,210 --> 00:13:04,247 ♪ One horse open... ♪ 332 00:13:04,416 --> 00:13:05,546 What the fuck? 333 00:13:05,715 --> 00:13:07,618 (CHILDREN SCREAMING) 334 00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,820 (SCREAMS FADING) CINDY: I am sorry 335 00:13:09,989 --> 00:13:12,721 if that's how you found out Santa doesn't exist. 336 00:13:12,890 --> 00:13:14,816 Ugh, Mother, I need your help! 337 00:13:14,985 --> 00:13:18,153 To heal our emotional wounds and put the past behind us? 338 00:13:18,321 --> 00:13:19,961 (SNORTS) Oh, God, no. 339 00:13:20,130 --> 00:13:22,630 (CHUCKLES) No, to kill Ghostface! 340 00:13:22,798 --> 00:13:24,299 Do you have any guns? 341 00:13:24,468 --> 00:13:25,502 (SCOFFS) 342 00:13:25,671 --> 00:13:28,295 I am Cindy fucking Campbell. 343 00:13:28,464 --> 00:13:30,074 I've got millions of guns! 344 00:13:30,243 --> 00:13:31,101 But, um, 345 00:13:31,270 --> 00:13:32,840 none of them are registered 346 00:13:33,009 --> 00:13:35,111 due to my mental health issues. 347 00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:38,943 So, if you could just keep that on the low-- (YELPS) 348 00:13:39,112 --> 00:13:41,044 JACK: Okay. CINDY: Oh! 349 00:13:41,246 --> 00:13:42,611 Yeah, I'm gonna be fine. 350 00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:44,314 I didn't hurt myself on any of these spikes. 351 00:13:44,483 --> 00:13:45,346 ("KISS OR KILL" BY STELA COLE PLAYS) 352 00:13:45,548 --> 00:13:49,794 ♪ K-I-S-S-I-N-G ♪ 353 00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:52,520 ♪ Me and you We're sitting in a tree ♪ 354 00:13:52,722 --> 00:13:54,531 Oh, hey, so I spoke to Sara earlier. 355 00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:55,994 Oh, is she coming? You know, 356 00:13:56,163 --> 00:13:57,533 I did hear a buzzing sound. 357 00:13:57,735 --> 00:13:59,334 So it's possible. No. 358 00:13:59,503 --> 00:14:02,240 I meant to Woodsville, dumbass. Oh. Yeah, I forgot to ask. 359 00:14:02,442 --> 00:14:03,970 Hey, Jimbo! Go deep! 360 00:14:04,139 --> 00:14:04,900 Yeah, yeah! Throw it, throw it! 361 00:14:05,102 --> 00:14:06,871 Oh! 362 00:14:07,073 --> 00:14:08,209 Sweet! (CHUCKLES) 363 00:14:08,977 --> 00:14:10,307 Speaking of going deep... 364 00:14:10,476 --> 00:14:12,343 Uh, I don't know if it's a good time. 365 00:14:12,512 --> 00:14:14,118 Everyone knows what happens to teenagers 366 00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:15,718 who try to make love when there's a killer on the loose. 367 00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:17,414 Brad's right about one thing, guys. 368 00:14:17,616 --> 00:14:20,016 Okay, Ghostface is back. We need to arm up. 369 00:14:20,185 --> 00:14:22,616 Pepper spray, check. 370 00:14:22,785 --> 00:14:24,493 Taser, check. (ELECTRICITY CRACKLES) 371 00:14:24,662 --> 00:14:26,189 (POP) Butt plug, 372 00:14:26,358 --> 00:14:27,726 double check. (SQUELCHES) 373 00:14:27,895 --> 00:14:28,996 BRAD: Goddamn! 374 00:14:29,164 --> 00:14:30,830 You just carry that thing around? 375 00:14:30,998 --> 00:14:32,497 It's easy to hide. 376 00:14:35,707 --> 00:14:38,074 In your butt. (SIGHS) 377 00:14:38,709 --> 00:14:40,208 I'm impressed. 378 00:14:49,546 --> 00:14:52,915 What's up, y'all? I'm back! 379 00:14:53,117 --> 00:14:54,389 (GIGGLES) 380 00:14:54,558 --> 00:14:55,526 Shit, son! 381 00:14:55,695 --> 00:14:57,619 Hey, what's up, Unc? "Unc"? 382 00:14:57,821 --> 00:15:00,324 I'm tired of you little Gen Z Alpha niggas 383 00:15:00,493 --> 00:15:02,524 using terms like "unc" and "auntie". 384 00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:05,098 Gaslighting and glazing and glamping, 385 00:15:05,267 --> 00:15:07,131 trying to make my generation sound old. 386 00:15:07,333 --> 00:15:08,762 I ain't your damn unc, nigga! 387 00:15:08,965 --> 00:15:11,169 Shorty, you're our mother's brother, so, yeah, 388 00:15:11,338 --> 00:15:12,907 technically, you are our uncle. 389 00:15:13,076 --> 00:15:15,845 Oh. (GIGGLES) My bad. (CACKLES) 390 00:15:16,014 --> 00:15:18,382 Crazy that they let you teach here. 391 00:15:18,551 --> 00:15:20,811 Teach? Nah, nigga. 392 00:15:21,013 --> 00:15:22,382 I attend. 393 00:15:22,550 --> 00:15:25,888 You looking at a proud 25th-year senior. (GIGGLES) 394 00:15:26,057 --> 00:15:27,458 When are you finally gonna graduate? 395 00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:28,883 By the time we do a sequel 396 00:15:29,052 --> 00:15:29,890 and I got to follow you little young niggas 397 00:15:30,059 --> 00:15:30,989 to college to get my check. 398 00:15:31,192 --> 00:15:32,863 Wait, guys. Tuesday's awake! 399 00:15:33,032 --> 00:15:35,259 All right! Tuesday! Who the fuck is Tuesday? 400 00:15:35,428 --> 00:15:36,592 Hey, we gotta go to the hospital. 401 00:15:36,761 --> 00:15:39,193 You gonna take the bus home? No. The PJ. 402 00:15:39,362 --> 00:15:40,866 Private jet? 403 00:15:41,035 --> 00:15:42,034 Yeah. Jealous? 404 00:15:42,203 --> 00:15:43,567 Man, you smoke weed all day. 405 00:15:43,736 --> 00:15:46,108 Just play video games, you live-stream. 406 00:15:46,277 --> 00:15:47,606 You literally got money doing nothing. 407 00:15:47,774 --> 00:15:50,942 Exactly. I leave the hard work for the old heads. 408 00:15:51,111 --> 00:15:52,579 (GIGGLES) Shit, son! 409 00:15:52,748 --> 00:15:53,917 (GIGGLES) 410 00:15:54,086 --> 00:15:56,216 Still the same Shorty. Aight. (CHUCKLES) 411 00:15:56,385 --> 00:15:57,954 Check my crypto, nigga. (PHONE CHIMES) 412 00:15:58,123 --> 00:15:59,853 Aw, shit, I'm up three million dollars! 413 00:16:00,056 --> 00:16:01,615 (CACKLES) (PHONE BLEEPS) 414 00:16:01,784 --> 00:16:03,923 Damn, now I'm down five million. 415 00:16:04,091 --> 00:16:06,459 This shit crazy, son. 416 00:16:14,739 --> 00:16:16,766 (ENGINE PUTTERING) 417 00:16:17,939 --> 00:16:18,801 (ENGINE CUTS) 418 00:16:28,987 --> 00:16:30,578 (MUFFLED SINGING AND CLAPPING) 419 00:16:30,780 --> 00:16:33,321 ♪ I'm gonna let it shine ♪ 420 00:16:34,290 --> 00:16:37,420 ♪ This little light of mine ♪ 421 00:16:37,622 --> 00:16:41,055 ♪ I'm gonna let it shine ♪ 422 00:16:41,257 --> 00:16:42,126 Ray! 423 00:16:42,295 --> 00:16:44,099 Sister Brenda, it's okay. 424 00:16:44,268 --> 00:16:46,395 You heard the call of sin, yes, you did. 425 00:16:46,597 --> 00:16:47,795 But the Lord has called on us 426 00:16:47,964 --> 00:16:50,432 to show men such like you the way. 427 00:16:50,601 --> 00:16:53,409 Come on, son! Come with us. 428 00:16:53,612 --> 00:16:54,979 Come on us. 429 00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:57,872 God see you coming. So don't cheat that come. 430 00:16:58,074 --> 00:17:02,050 We need you to come like you never came before. 431 00:17:02,219 --> 00:17:04,021 Come for the Father, come for the Son. 432 00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:06,453 I'ma hold your hand and we gonna come together. 433 00:17:06,622 --> 00:17:09,056 PARISHONER: God is good, man! PARISHONER 2: Yes, sir. 434 00:17:09,225 --> 00:17:10,052 PARISHONER 3: Thank you, Jesus. 435 00:17:10,221 --> 00:17:11,089 Amen. 436 00:17:11,291 --> 00:17:12,057 PARISHONER 4: Hallelujah. 437 00:17:12,226 --> 00:17:13,657 (WHISPERING) There you go. 438 00:17:13,826 --> 00:17:18,833 In the name of God, let it go, Ray! Let it go! 439 00:17:19,002 --> 00:17:19,732 Nigga! (POPS) 440 00:17:19,935 --> 00:17:21,900 Oh, my bad. 441 00:17:22,102 --> 00:17:23,230 Last time. 442 00:17:23,433 --> 00:17:24,432 (HUFFS) 443 00:17:24,634 --> 00:17:26,077 (PASTOR CLEARS THROAT) 444 00:17:26,245 --> 00:17:29,913 Let's welcome a new member to our congre-gay-tion. 445 00:17:30,082 --> 00:17:31,443 (SCATTERED PRAISE) Let the people know 446 00:17:31,645 --> 00:17:33,715 how you feel, brother. There you go. 447 00:17:33,884 --> 00:17:36,054 (SCATTERED CHATTER) 448 00:17:38,350 --> 00:17:40,547 I'm not gay no more. 449 00:17:40,716 --> 00:17:43,551 (CHEERING) Hallelujah! 450 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:44,561 PARISHONER 5: Yes, sir! 451 00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:46,027 I'm not gay no more! 452 00:17:46,196 --> 00:17:47,388 PARISHONER 6: Praise the lord! 453 00:17:47,557 --> 00:17:48,994 I'm not gay no more! 454 00:17:49,163 --> 00:17:50,425 He not gay no more. 455 00:17:50,627 --> 00:17:52,868 RAY: I've been delivered! 456 00:17:53,037 --> 00:17:55,166 I'll no longer date a mans! 457 00:17:55,335 --> 00:17:56,534 Even if he's sexy as hell 458 00:17:56,703 --> 00:17:59,108 with a big old chesteses and perky areolas! 459 00:17:59,277 --> 00:18:00,703 Oh, yeah, you still got a secret. 460 00:18:00,872 --> 00:18:04,373 I'll no longer carry a purse, put on makeup, 461 00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:05,447 walk around in high heels. 462 00:18:05,650 --> 00:18:06,942 What? 463 00:18:07,144 --> 00:18:09,347 Red bottoms. The one with the cute little buckle 464 00:18:09,516 --> 00:18:11,054 on the side. Those is my shoes. 465 00:18:11,223 --> 00:18:14,955 I'll no longer go on Grindr and swipe right 466 00:18:15,124 --> 00:18:16,759 at Black mens... Hmm? 467 00:18:16,928 --> 00:18:18,920 ...white mens, Asian mens. 468 00:18:19,089 --> 00:18:21,394 You been on Grindr? I'll no longer take trips 469 00:18:21,563 --> 00:18:24,297 to the Philippines looking for ladyboys. 470 00:18:24,499 --> 00:18:27,502 To Phuket. Ko Samui. Back to Phuket. 471 00:18:27,704 --> 00:18:29,833 Then to Vietnam to see if I can get them any cheaper. 472 00:18:30,035 --> 00:18:32,107 I thought that was for our anniversary, Ray. 473 00:18:32,275 --> 00:18:34,112 Oh, this nigga got a lot of miles. 474 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,409 I'll no longer stand butt naked in a mirror 475 00:18:36,578 --> 00:18:38,549 with my penis tucked between my legs... 476 00:18:38,717 --> 00:18:41,375 (ALL GASP) ...dancing like the dude from Silence of the Lambs. 477 00:18:41,544 --> 00:18:43,514 (AS BUFFALO BILL) "It puts the lotion in the basket, Precious." 478 00:18:43,716 --> 00:18:46,348 I'm a changed man! I've been delivered! 479 00:18:46,550 --> 00:18:48,185 Shit. I will! 480 00:18:48,387 --> 00:18:50,092 I said I will! 481 00:18:50,261 --> 00:18:52,726 I will love a woman! (SCATTERED PRAISE) 482 00:18:52,895 --> 00:18:54,096 (EXCLAIMS) 483 00:18:54,265 --> 00:18:55,260 RAY: Womans, womans, womans! 484 00:18:55,429 --> 00:18:57,162 You can take that "W-O" off. 485 00:18:57,365 --> 00:18:58,526 Womans, womans, womans! 486 00:18:58,728 --> 00:19:00,836 Mens-es, mens-es, mens-es. 487 00:19:01,004 --> 00:19:03,031 Womans-- (BABBLES) 488 00:19:04,005 --> 00:19:05,506 (BABBLES) 489 00:19:06,539 --> 00:19:08,236 No, no. No, no, Ray. No, no. 490 00:19:08,405 --> 00:19:10,172 (MOANING) 491 00:19:10,374 --> 00:19:11,778 (BABBLING) 492 00:19:11,947 --> 00:19:13,608 (MUMBLING) 493 00:19:13,777 --> 00:19:14,783 (HIGH-PITCHED BABBLING) 494 00:19:14,952 --> 00:19:16,311 Gulp, gulp, gulp. 495 00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:18,779 Whoa, nigga. 496 00:19:18,948 --> 00:19:20,657 Hawk tuah, hawk tuah, hawk tuah! 497 00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:22,591 You hocking on it? 498 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,624 ("TWERK FOR JESUS" BY NOVA VYBE PLAYS) I've been delivered! 499 00:19:24,826 --> 00:19:26,725 ♪ Work, work, working it For Jesus ♪ 500 00:19:26,927 --> 00:19:29,996 ♪ No, the devilry is gonna Stay beneath us ♪ 501 00:19:30,198 --> 00:19:32,834 ♪ The good praise Really bumping Out your speakers ♪ 502 00:19:33,036 --> 00:19:35,095 ♪ I'ma dance 'Cause His glory Make me feel some type of way ♪ 503 00:19:35,297 --> 00:19:37,108 ♪ So we be Twerk, twerk, twerkin' it ♪ 504 00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:39,034 ♪ For Jesus ♪ I've been delivered! 505 00:19:39,236 --> 00:19:41,803 ♪ No, the devilry is gonna Stay beneath us ♪ 506 00:19:42,005 --> 00:19:43,208 ♪ Who make it happen? ♪ 507 00:19:43,411 --> 00:19:44,942 ♪ That's Jesus ♪ 508 00:19:45,145 --> 00:19:46,844 ♪ Who have us clapping? That's Jesus ♪ 509 00:19:47,046 --> 00:19:50,179 ♪ And the devil can't ever Come between us ♪ 510 00:19:50,381 --> 00:19:53,352 ♪ We out here clap, clap Clapping it for Jesus ♪ 511 00:19:53,521 --> 00:19:56,216 (SING-SONGY) Tuesday, Tuesday. 512 00:19:57,019 --> 00:19:58,795 (GRUNTING) SARA: Oh, my God. 513 00:19:58,964 --> 00:20:00,864 Her face. All contorted. 514 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,666 Oh, my God, and the moaning. 515 00:20:02,835 --> 00:20:04,701 (GROANS, SHUSHES) 516 00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:07,403 (GRUNTS, SIGHS) 517 00:20:09,101 --> 00:20:11,203 I've been trying to get that out for an hour. (SIGHS) 518 00:20:11,372 --> 00:20:13,376 How you feeling, Tues? 519 00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:15,904 Hey, what are they giving you for the pain? Is that-- 520 00:20:16,073 --> 00:20:18,078 Is that morphine or...? (TUESDAY GRUNTS) 521 00:20:18,247 --> 00:20:20,177 Bitch. Let's see. 522 00:20:20,346 --> 00:20:21,285 (SARA GROANS) 523 00:20:22,149 --> 00:20:24,216 Oh, yeah! 524 00:20:24,385 --> 00:20:27,386 Oh, this that good, good. 525 00:20:27,555 --> 00:20:28,883 This that Britney Spears shit. 526 00:20:29,052 --> 00:20:30,324 Makes me want to get half-naked, 527 00:20:30,493 --> 00:20:32,921 dance around and juggle some knives. 528 00:20:33,090 --> 00:20:35,295 Sara, who's that Jeffrey Dahmer look-a-like? 529 00:20:35,497 --> 00:20:38,131 Oh. This is my boyfriend, Jack. 530 00:20:38,333 --> 00:20:40,271 Really nice to meet you. 531 00:20:41,304 --> 00:20:42,666 Looks like Ted Bundy to me. 532 00:20:42,834 --> 00:20:45,070 But that ain't none of my business. 533 00:20:45,239 --> 00:20:47,134 Mm-hmm. Mm! 534 00:20:47,336 --> 00:20:49,307 This little stabbed-up bitch here needs some rest. 535 00:20:49,509 --> 00:20:51,615 So y'all get the fuck out! 536 00:20:51,784 --> 00:20:52,745 Yes, ma'am. 537 00:20:53,781 --> 00:20:55,348 (GRUNTS) Oh, not you, Sara. (DOOR SHUTS) 538 00:20:55,517 --> 00:20:57,684 (SLURRING) Why? What did I do? 539 00:20:58,582 --> 00:21:00,617 I'm so scared. 540 00:21:00,819 --> 00:21:04,225 (SIGHS) Oh, Tues, you should be. 541 00:21:04,394 --> 00:21:06,954 You've been stabbed nine times. 542 00:21:07,123 --> 00:21:09,333 And the killer knows where you live. 543 00:21:09,535 --> 00:21:12,095 I would invite you to come stay at my place, but 544 00:21:12,264 --> 00:21:14,728 I don't really want that kind of juju in my house. 545 00:21:14,897 --> 00:21:16,106 (SIGHS) For all we know, 546 00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:18,342 he's standing right outside that door. 547 00:21:21,881 --> 00:21:23,671 (SMOOCHES, CHUCKLES) 548 00:21:23,873 --> 00:21:25,981 That's comforting, Sara. 549 00:21:26,183 --> 00:21:27,377 I thought I was gonna die. 550 00:21:27,545 --> 00:21:29,580 I know, me too! 551 00:21:29,749 --> 00:21:32,080 I planned your funeral. (GASPS) 552 00:21:32,249 --> 00:21:34,749 What the hell? And I wrote your obituary. 553 00:21:34,918 --> 00:21:36,827 More like ChatGPT wrote it. 554 00:21:36,996 --> 00:21:38,161 But you're still here. 555 00:21:38,330 --> 00:21:40,661 And I will never let anyone hurt you. 556 00:21:42,297 --> 00:21:44,768 Oh, yum! Ice chips! 557 00:21:44,937 --> 00:21:46,335 (SCREAMING) Oh, God! 558 00:21:46,538 --> 00:21:48,101 (PAINED SHOUT) Get off me! (SUSTAINED BEEP) 559 00:21:48,270 --> 00:21:49,936 (PAINED GROANING) 560 00:21:50,105 --> 00:21:51,306 Help! 561 00:21:51,475 --> 00:21:53,139 This white girl can't die on my shift! 562 00:21:53,307 --> 00:21:54,675 I'm a DEI hire! 563 00:21:54,843 --> 00:21:57,445 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! She was fine a second ago. 564 00:21:57,614 --> 00:21:59,684 No! No, I'm good! I'm good! Clear! 565 00:21:59,886 --> 00:22:01,649 (GRUNTS) Again! 566 00:22:01,818 --> 00:22:04,152 Come on, white bitch, I need this job! Clear! 567 00:22:04,321 --> 00:22:06,055 It's not working! Clear! 568 00:22:06,258 --> 00:22:08,724 We're losing her. (GRUNTS) 569 00:22:08,927 --> 00:22:10,284 Harder! 570 00:22:11,028 --> 00:22:11,828 (BOTH GRUNTING) 571 00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:13,590 (GRUNTS) (GASPS) 572 00:22:13,759 --> 00:22:14,856 (SUSTAINED BEEP) Oh, boy. 573 00:22:15,058 --> 00:22:16,960 Look like there ain't nothing left 574 00:22:17,129 --> 00:22:19,260 but thoughts, prayers and pork rinds. 575 00:22:20,234 --> 00:22:21,303 Dear Lord. 576 00:22:21,472 --> 00:22:23,373 Nurse Ratchett, check out the wire! 577 00:22:23,542 --> 00:22:25,733 The Wire was the shit, baby. That's my show. 578 00:22:25,935 --> 00:22:27,740 Drugs and that Idris Elba 579 00:22:27,942 --> 00:22:30,044 make this coochie want to pop, pop, pop! 580 00:22:30,246 --> 00:22:32,447 Dear Lord, please 581 00:22:32,616 --> 00:22:33,948 accept this white bitch's-- (MONITOR BEEPS) 582 00:22:34,117 --> 00:22:35,812 (GASPS) Oh! 583 00:22:35,980 --> 00:22:38,048 The Lord works in mysterious ways. 584 00:22:38,991 --> 00:22:40,052 I'm going on break. 585 00:22:40,221 --> 00:22:41,849 Oh, Tues. 586 00:22:42,018 --> 00:22:43,487 I will never let anyone 587 00:22:43,656 --> 00:22:46,160 hurt you again. Mm-mm. 588 00:22:46,328 --> 00:22:48,366 (BUZZES) (SCREAMS) 589 00:22:49,836 --> 00:22:51,362 Ooh! My bad. 590 00:22:51,531 --> 00:22:53,767 (TUESDAY RASPING) 591 00:22:59,374 --> 00:23:01,511 (PHONE RINGING) 592 00:23:03,178 --> 00:23:04,344 Hello? 593 00:23:04,513 --> 00:23:06,816 GHOSTFACE: Hello, Sara. 594 00:23:06,985 --> 00:23:08,419 Who is this? 595 00:23:08,588 --> 00:23:12,080 GHOSTFACE: Someone who knows your little secret. 596 00:23:12,249 --> 00:23:14,749 No, no, I swear that wasn't a Nazi salute! 597 00:23:14,951 --> 00:23:16,318 Okay? I won Prom Queen 598 00:23:16,487 --> 00:23:18,418 and I was-- I was throwing my heart to the crowd! 599 00:23:18,620 --> 00:23:23,128 GHOSTFACE: No, I'm talking about your family secret. 600 00:23:23,331 --> 00:23:24,565 (GASPS) 601 00:23:24,734 --> 00:23:27,604 Oh, you're the fuck who hurt my sister. 602 00:23:27,772 --> 00:23:29,934 GHOSTFACE: Well, I had to get you to come back here. 603 00:23:30,103 --> 00:23:32,569 Listen, if you want to fuck with me, asshole, 604 00:23:32,737 --> 00:23:34,175 then come and get me! 605 00:23:34,344 --> 00:23:35,679 GHOSTFACE: With pleasure. 606 00:23:35,848 --> 00:23:37,412 (SCREAMS) 607 00:23:37,581 --> 00:23:39,080 (SARA SCREAMS) (AGONIZED WAIL) 608 00:23:39,249 --> 00:23:41,943 (GRUNTS) Help! 609 00:23:42,112 --> 00:23:43,987 Somebody help! (GRUNTS) 610 00:23:44,189 --> 00:23:47,018 Please, somebody help! 611 00:23:47,717 --> 00:23:49,255 Bitch! 612 00:23:49,424 --> 00:23:50,718 This the break room. 613 00:23:50,887 --> 00:23:51,729 WOMAN: Mm-hmm. 614 00:23:51,898 --> 00:23:52,930 We on break. 615 00:23:53,099 --> 00:23:54,555 Oh, God. MAN: Preach. 616 00:23:54,724 --> 00:23:55,598 (GRUNTS) 617 00:24:01,038 --> 00:24:02,600 Take that! 618 00:24:02,769 --> 00:24:04,532 (GRUNTS) GHOSTFACE: Oof! 619 00:24:04,701 --> 00:24:05,575 (GRUNTS) 620 00:24:06,176 --> 00:24:07,540 Please, save me! 621 00:24:07,709 --> 00:24:10,276 I've been saving people all day! 622 00:24:10,445 --> 00:24:12,147 So you handle yours. 623 00:24:12,316 --> 00:24:13,977 I'll be right over here 624 00:24:14,146 --> 00:24:17,077 eating my falafel and my pork rinds. 625 00:24:17,246 --> 00:24:19,116 I look like your mama? (WHIMPERS) 626 00:24:20,955 --> 00:24:23,824 Try me now! GHOSTFACE: Break's over. 627 00:24:26,593 --> 00:24:27,465 (GHOSTFACE GRUNTS) 628 00:24:30,333 --> 00:24:31,667 You're welcome. 629 00:24:34,633 --> 00:24:37,798 It really looks like you got hit with something hard. Like metal. 630 00:24:37,967 --> 00:24:40,271 I told you, I fell. 631 00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:44,273 Now where exactly are we going? (SIGHS) To talk to an expert. 632 00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:57,360 MAN: Go away! 633 00:24:57,529 --> 00:24:59,155 I'm so sorry to bother you. We just-- 634 00:24:59,324 --> 00:25:00,694 We just want to ask you a few questions. 635 00:25:00,863 --> 00:25:02,461 (THUDS) Give me one good reason 636 00:25:02,630 --> 00:25:03,932 why I should talk to you. 637 00:25:04,101 --> 00:25:05,201 I'm white. 638 00:25:05,403 --> 00:25:06,970 How white? Oh, I'm talking 639 00:25:07,139 --> 00:25:08,605 Candace Owens white. 640 00:25:09,735 --> 00:25:11,298 Oh. Six feet. 641 00:25:11,467 --> 00:25:12,639 When you said expert, I assumed you meant 642 00:25:12,807 --> 00:25:13,977 more like Neil deGrasse Tyson or-- 643 00:25:14,146 --> 00:25:15,044 Shut up. (MOANS) 644 00:25:15,213 --> 00:25:16,647 I'm Sara Campbell. 645 00:25:16,816 --> 00:25:19,145 I was attacked last night. I think you should leave. 646 00:25:19,314 --> 00:25:21,813 I don't want to get stabbed. And I don't want Covid, okay? 647 00:25:21,981 --> 00:25:23,344 Please, come on. Just-- Let's go. 648 00:25:23,513 --> 00:25:24,546 Just two minutes, that's all I'm asking. 649 00:25:24,749 --> 00:25:25,947 No. No. 650 00:25:26,116 --> 00:25:27,481 I'll give you eight minutes. 651 00:25:29,227 --> 00:25:30,493 And another thing. 652 00:25:30,662 --> 00:25:33,055 (BOTH GASP) I got to test you for Covid. 653 00:25:33,223 --> 00:25:34,654 (SWABS SQUEAKING) (BOTH GROANING) 654 00:25:34,823 --> 00:25:36,129 Ohh! 655 00:25:36,298 --> 00:25:37,330 Ahh... 656 00:25:37,499 --> 00:25:38,966 You guys are good. 657 00:25:39,135 --> 00:25:40,868 When did the work week become the "woke week"? 658 00:25:41,037 --> 00:25:44,033 We've got Black Friday. What's next, Mulatto Monday? 659 00:25:44,202 --> 00:25:45,772 I mean, Yellow Thursday? (DOOR CREAKS) 660 00:25:45,975 --> 00:25:48,340 GAIL ON TV: Tan Tuesday? Come on. 661 00:25:48,509 --> 00:25:49,547 (TV CLICKS) 662 00:25:50,846 --> 00:25:52,213 Let me get this out of your way. 663 00:25:52,382 --> 00:25:53,749 SARA: Oh! Sorry. 664 00:25:54,549 --> 00:25:55,547 (TIMER DINGS) Oh! 665 00:25:55,715 --> 00:25:57,148 Covid tests are done. 666 00:25:57,948 --> 00:25:59,252 Yup! You're good. 667 00:25:59,421 --> 00:26:01,258 (BOTH SIGHING) 668 00:26:01,427 --> 00:26:02,783 You're Cindy's daughter, right? 669 00:26:02,985 --> 00:26:04,518 Yeah. Yeah. 670 00:26:04,687 --> 00:26:08,196 I don't know him. This is Jack. My love interest. 671 00:26:08,364 --> 00:26:09,733 No! No, no, no. 672 00:26:09,901 --> 00:26:13,061 Rule Number One of surviving a horror movie is, 673 00:26:13,230 --> 00:26:15,367 "Never trust the love interest." 674 00:26:15,536 --> 00:26:16,869 Look at him! 675 00:26:17,038 --> 00:26:20,610 He's got that weird lazy eye, poking one way 676 00:26:20,779 --> 00:26:23,839 and then he's drooling like a psychopath. 677 00:26:24,008 --> 00:26:25,745 He's got that stump leg. 678 00:26:25,914 --> 00:26:28,243 Makes him all walk weird and creepy. 679 00:26:28,412 --> 00:26:31,121 I don't have a stump. Well, that guy does. 680 00:26:31,289 --> 00:26:34,489 Oh I'm looking at me. 681 00:26:34,691 --> 00:26:37,925 Special Officer Doofy. Retired. 682 00:26:38,094 --> 00:26:41,090 Listen, Doofy, we could really use your help. 683 00:26:41,258 --> 00:26:43,292 No. I can't go back to that life. 684 00:26:43,494 --> 00:26:45,896 Plus, we're in the middle of a global pandemic! 685 00:26:46,065 --> 00:26:47,328 Okay, I hate to break it to you, 686 00:26:47,530 --> 00:26:50,073 but Covid has been over for, like, years. 687 00:26:50,241 --> 00:26:52,132 Hmm. Really? 688 00:26:52,301 --> 00:26:53,534 JACK: Yeah. SARA: Yeah. 689 00:26:56,114 --> 00:26:57,571 Damn it! 690 00:26:57,740 --> 00:27:00,442 What am I gonna do with all this canned meat? 691 00:27:01,985 --> 00:27:04,747 DOOFY: Get out! I don't want Ghostface to find me. 692 00:27:04,916 --> 00:27:06,184 And don't come back! 693 00:27:15,928 --> 00:27:17,701 (IMITATING POLICE SIREN) 694 00:27:18,965 --> 00:27:20,367 It's the sound of the police. 695 00:27:20,569 --> 00:27:22,299 (IMITATING SIREN) 696 00:27:25,711 --> 00:27:29,076 Special Officer Doofy, reporting for duty. 697 00:27:29,245 --> 00:27:31,840 Okay, just because he showered doesn't mean that-- 698 00:27:32,009 --> 00:27:33,142 No, I didn't shower. 699 00:27:33,311 --> 00:27:35,650 I just take water from my mouth and-- 700 00:27:35,819 --> 00:27:37,685 You want some? Okay. No, that's okay. 701 00:27:37,853 --> 00:27:40,120 Come on, Doofy. Yeah, let's do it. 702 00:27:40,288 --> 00:27:41,955 DEI: Sara, is your ghetto-ass mom coming 703 00:27:42,124 --> 00:27:43,457 or can we start talking about this plot? 704 00:27:43,625 --> 00:27:45,454 Uh... (DOOR OPENS) 705 00:27:46,429 --> 00:27:47,358 (DOOR SLAMS) 706 00:27:47,527 --> 00:27:48,723 Hi. 707 00:27:48,925 --> 00:27:50,058 You came. 708 00:27:50,261 --> 00:27:51,994 Not in, like, 15 years, honey. 709 00:27:52,163 --> 00:27:54,629 But I did buy this new rose, 710 00:27:54,797 --> 00:27:56,432 so fingers crossed. (CHUCKLES) (PILL BOTTLE POPS) 711 00:27:58,671 --> 00:27:59,866 (SIGHS) 712 00:28:00,068 --> 00:28:01,372 CINDY: Oh. 713 00:28:01,574 --> 00:28:02,772 Oh! 714 00:28:02,941 --> 00:28:05,040 Oh, my old friend! 715 00:28:05,209 --> 00:28:07,549 You taught me how to dance. 716 00:28:07,718 --> 00:28:10,311 How to make a high N-word pie. 717 00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,681 Nigga, I'm right in back of you. 718 00:28:12,850 --> 00:28:13,618 Shorty! 719 00:28:13,787 --> 00:28:15,016 What's up, Cindy? 720 00:28:15,185 --> 00:28:17,218 How you doing? My nigga. 721 00:28:17,420 --> 00:28:19,525 BOTH: (GIGGLE) Shit, son! 722 00:28:19,694 --> 00:28:20,926 (BOTH LAUGHING) 723 00:28:21,129 --> 00:28:22,830 I can't believe you thought I was dead. 724 00:28:22,999 --> 00:28:25,601 Well, between cancer from the weed smoke 725 00:28:25,803 --> 00:28:28,064 your love of the McRib and racist cops, 726 00:28:28,266 --> 00:28:29,639 I didn't think you had a chance. 727 00:28:29,808 --> 00:28:31,808 Yeah, that's a terrible combination. 728 00:28:32,610 --> 00:28:34,737 Hi, Cin. Stop smiling at me! 729 00:28:34,906 --> 00:28:36,178 (CINDY GRUNTS) 730 00:28:36,347 --> 00:28:37,510 (ALL GASPING) 731 00:28:37,678 --> 00:28:39,105 Shit! WorldStar! 732 00:28:39,307 --> 00:28:41,210 WorldStar! WorldStar! 733 00:28:41,378 --> 00:28:43,686 Hey, he's intellectually disabled! 734 00:28:43,855 --> 00:28:45,717 That's just how he looks, you drunk honky. 735 00:28:45,886 --> 00:28:47,051 SHORTY: Hey, hey, hey! 736 00:28:47,220 --> 00:28:48,687 Don't call that white bitch a honky. 737 00:28:48,856 --> 00:28:50,022 C'mon, have some respect. 738 00:28:50,191 --> 00:28:52,889 I keep seeing people smiling everywhere. 739 00:28:53,057 --> 00:28:54,421 I'm not very likable, 740 00:28:54,589 --> 00:28:56,600 so it must be some kind of curse. 741 00:28:56,769 --> 00:28:58,498 Hey, everybody! (WHISPERING) She's high. 742 00:28:58,666 --> 00:28:59,863 Look what I got. 743 00:29:00,032 --> 00:29:01,704 Non-branded gelatin shots 744 00:29:01,873 --> 00:29:04,100 made with grain alcohol and GHB. 745 00:29:04,302 --> 00:29:05,465 So ain't nobody sipping nothing 746 00:29:05,667 --> 00:29:07,102 they didn't consent to like last time, 747 00:29:07,271 --> 00:29:08,302 which I apologize. Mm-hmm. 748 00:29:08,504 --> 00:29:10,079 Take one. I love roofying myself. 749 00:29:10,248 --> 00:29:11,273 (LAUGHS) 750 00:29:11,441 --> 00:29:12,147 No, Ma. No, Mama. You sure, baby? 751 00:29:12,350 --> 00:29:13,574 Hi, Brenda. 752 00:29:13,743 --> 00:29:15,582 Please do not call me by my government name. 753 00:29:15,751 --> 00:29:17,513 Call me Ma. (GASPS) 754 00:29:18,553 --> 00:29:19,354 Cindy! 755 00:29:19,523 --> 00:29:20,857 (GASPS) Oh, my God! 756 00:29:21,855 --> 00:29:22,720 You dropped the tray. 757 00:29:22,889 --> 00:29:24,090 Oh, my God, Cindy, 758 00:29:24,259 --> 00:29:26,058 I haven't seen you in forever! (GASPS) 759 00:29:26,227 --> 00:29:28,859 My God, look at you! You look the same! 760 00:29:29,027 --> 00:29:30,399 Minus the crow's feet. 761 00:29:30,568 --> 00:29:32,635 And your hair is so dry. 762 00:29:32,837 --> 00:29:35,638 Oh, and your titties dropped so far. 763 00:29:35,841 --> 00:29:38,506 Other than that, you look the exact same. 764 00:29:38,708 --> 00:29:40,401 What have you been up to? 765 00:29:40,570 --> 00:29:42,605 Oh, you know, neglecting my children 766 00:29:42,774 --> 00:29:45,975 so I can prepare to kill Ghostface should he ever return. 767 00:29:46,178 --> 00:29:47,611 What about you? (SLURPS) 768 00:29:47,780 --> 00:29:49,817 Well, I been mostly just getting high school kids drunk 769 00:29:50,019 --> 00:29:51,387 in a desperate attempt to stay young 770 00:29:51,556 --> 00:29:52,688 and keep my kids at home. 771 00:29:52,890 --> 00:29:54,291 I always knew you'd be a great mom. 772 00:29:54,459 --> 00:29:55,658 (CHUCKLING) Oh, Cindy! 773 00:29:55,827 --> 00:29:58,026 Should we hug? Oh, I really want to, 774 00:29:58,228 --> 00:30:01,295 but I'm a Republican now so I'm supposed to be racist. 775 00:30:01,464 --> 00:30:03,926 Oh, girl, I think all white people are racist anyway. 776 00:30:04,095 --> 00:30:05,234 Come here. Okay. 777 00:30:05,403 --> 00:30:07,134 Mm! Oh! 778 00:30:07,302 --> 00:30:10,135 You want a shot? Yeah? Here. Oh, yes, yes, please. 779 00:30:10,304 --> 00:30:12,470 You know, Ma, this place could be so cool 780 00:30:12,639 --> 00:30:15,105 if you had, like, a-a beer pong table over there, 781 00:30:15,274 --> 00:30:16,571 and maybe, like, a snack wall. 782 00:30:16,740 --> 00:30:18,243 What you know about cool? When I was your age, 783 00:30:18,412 --> 00:30:20,678 I was popping bottles with Puffy, Puff Daddy, 784 00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:22,111 P. Diddy, Diddy. 785 00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:23,845 All the Seans. (GIGGLES) 786 00:30:24,014 --> 00:30:26,520 (SCOFFS) That didn't age well. Your momma was the freak 787 00:30:26,689 --> 00:30:27,622 in the freak-offs. 788 00:30:27,791 --> 00:30:29,284 (GIGGLES) Shit, son! (SMACKS) 789 00:30:29,453 --> 00:30:30,694 You want to see something cool? 790 00:30:30,863 --> 00:30:33,428 I'ma show you something cool. (MUMBLING) 791 00:30:33,597 --> 00:30:34,832 (DRAWERS SCRAPING) 792 00:30:37,460 --> 00:30:40,061 (GUN COCKS) (ALL EXCLAIMING) 793 00:30:40,263 --> 00:30:41,403 God, that's cool. 794 00:30:41,605 --> 00:30:42,566 What are you doing? 795 00:30:42,769 --> 00:30:43,504 What? 796 00:30:43,673 --> 00:30:44,639 No, not like that. 797 00:30:44,808 --> 00:30:45,739 Like this. (ALL GASP) 798 00:30:45,942 --> 00:30:47,337 (WHIMPERING) BRENDA: Oh, yeah. 799 00:30:47,506 --> 00:30:49,974 I don't know why y'all acting so scared. 800 00:30:50,143 --> 00:30:51,215 The gun ain't even loaded. 801 00:30:51,417 --> 00:30:52,645 (GRUNTS) Shit! 802 00:30:52,814 --> 00:30:54,918 Oh, shit, son! 803 00:30:55,718 --> 00:30:57,252 Uh-oh. I did it again. 804 00:30:57,454 --> 00:30:59,014 (GIGGLES) 805 00:30:59,182 --> 00:31:00,483 (BOTH LAUGHING) 806 00:31:00,652 --> 00:31:02,315 I always forget that last one in the chamber. 807 00:31:02,484 --> 00:31:03,392 Help me move this body. 808 00:31:03,594 --> 00:31:04,524 Yeah, you got it. 809 00:31:04,693 --> 00:31:06,057 That was fun. 810 00:31:06,259 --> 00:31:07,621 BRENDA: Oh, so, what are you doing 811 00:31:07,790 --> 00:31:09,993 after this? CINDY: I want to go to Cabo. 812 00:31:10,162 --> 00:31:11,696 BRENDA: Oh, I love Cabo! 813 00:31:11,865 --> 00:31:13,667 You know what? 814 00:31:13,836 --> 00:31:15,939 I used to put cocaine up my hoo-hah and travel there all the time. 815 00:31:16,141 --> 00:31:18,535 Well, that's because you're so smart. Yeah. (GRUNTS) 816 00:31:19,708 --> 00:31:20,570 (CINDY SIGHS) 817 00:31:24,007 --> 00:31:24,915 Oh. 818 00:31:26,643 --> 00:31:29,411 All right. Let's get back to the plot. 819 00:31:29,580 --> 00:31:31,247 I'm looking at you, Ted Bundy eyes. 820 00:31:31,416 --> 00:31:32,588 Looking like a school shooter. 821 00:31:32,757 --> 00:31:33,688 I think you the killer. 822 00:31:33,857 --> 00:31:35,022 JACK: Oh, me? DEI: Mm-hmm. 823 00:31:35,191 --> 00:31:36,916 Okay, what about Deputy Doofy over there? 824 00:31:37,118 --> 00:31:40,225 I-I don't have a motive. You know, what's my motive? 825 00:31:40,394 --> 00:31:42,030 You were the killer in the first movie. 826 00:31:42,199 --> 00:31:44,628 Shouldn't you be locked up? No, I got pardoned. 827 00:31:44,831 --> 00:31:47,799 Mostly because of the storming the Capitol, you know. 828 00:31:48,001 --> 00:31:49,872 Oh. I got proof. 829 00:31:50,041 --> 00:31:52,441 This is me. And it's framed. JESS: Oh. 830 00:31:52,643 --> 00:31:53,739 That's a cool hat. 831 00:31:53,907 --> 00:31:55,572 What about Jess? 832 00:31:56,371 --> 00:31:57,304 What about me? 833 00:31:57,506 --> 00:31:58,705 If anybody here has issues 834 00:31:58,874 --> 00:31:59,943 that could lead to murder... (JESS SCOFFS) 835 00:32:00,112 --> 00:32:01,618 Okay, I get it! 836 00:32:01,787 --> 00:32:03,652 Trans-shaming is not cool, okay? 837 00:32:03,855 --> 00:32:05,779 They-- He's just a dude. Yeah. 838 00:32:05,981 --> 00:32:08,749 Minus the upper body strength and the dick part. 839 00:32:08,918 --> 00:32:10,954 Hey, you don't know what I got down here, okay? 840 00:32:11,156 --> 00:32:12,990 I do. Hey, hey. 841 00:32:13,193 --> 00:32:14,928 Listen, what we know so far 842 00:32:15,097 --> 00:32:16,590 is everyone who's been attacked 843 00:32:16,759 --> 00:32:19,227 is related to the original characters. 844 00:32:19,396 --> 00:32:20,527 He wants to kill the kids. 845 00:32:20,696 --> 00:32:24,465 Aha! He's making a rebootequel. 846 00:32:24,667 --> 00:32:26,134 A what now? DEI: Yeah. It's like, 847 00:32:26,336 --> 00:32:27,571 a reboot and a sequel. 848 00:32:27,740 --> 00:32:29,846 Mixes legacy characters with new characters 849 00:32:30,048 --> 00:32:32,816 in an attempt to feed into bullshit nostalgia 850 00:32:32,985 --> 00:32:34,778 and bring more fans to the theaters. 851 00:32:34,947 --> 00:32:36,748 Just like last year's I Know What You Did Last Summer. 852 00:32:36,917 --> 00:32:38,482 (DOOR SHUTS) 853 00:32:38,684 --> 00:32:41,156 That's a movie? What did I do last summer? 854 00:32:41,358 --> 00:32:43,460 I think you're talking about The Summer I Turned Pretty. 855 00:32:43,628 --> 00:32:44,959 Yeah. BRENDA: Ray, 856 00:32:45,128 --> 00:32:46,956 when did you get here? Oh, I been here. 857 00:32:47,125 --> 00:32:48,926 I was just hanging out by the men's room. (PHONE LOCKS, BUZZES) 858 00:32:49,094 --> 00:32:50,159 Oh. My room? 859 00:32:50,328 --> 00:32:52,059 DEI: Okay, so that means 860 00:32:52,228 --> 00:32:55,333 that our killer is writing his own version of Horror Movie. 861 00:32:55,536 --> 00:32:59,101 Okay, so according to the re-booty-call rules, 862 00:32:59,270 --> 00:33:00,300 who's the killer? 863 00:33:00,469 --> 00:33:01,501 (SCOFFS, CHUCKLES) 864 00:33:01,670 --> 00:33:03,541 I think it's pretty obvious. 865 00:33:06,274 --> 00:33:07,417 Who? 866 00:33:07,586 --> 00:33:09,475 You, bitch. Me? 867 00:33:09,644 --> 00:33:11,483 Guys, I am not the killer. 868 00:33:11,652 --> 00:33:14,617 Ghostface attacked Tues to lure me back here. 869 00:33:14,786 --> 00:33:17,957 I think he attacked Tuesday to get you back here 870 00:33:18,126 --> 00:33:19,991 so he could get me back here. 871 00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:22,222 He wants to kill the OGs. 872 00:33:22,424 --> 00:33:23,632 That was a flex. 873 00:33:23,801 --> 00:33:24,863 Yeah, that sounds better. 874 00:33:25,065 --> 00:33:26,495 Aw, fuck this! 875 00:33:26,664 --> 00:33:29,472 And fuck you, Mother! (SHORTY GASPS) 876 00:33:29,641 --> 00:33:31,004 To your mother? 877 00:33:31,173 --> 00:33:34,575 Hey! Don't be so disrespectful! 878 00:33:34,777 --> 00:33:36,070 And call me Mom! 879 00:33:36,272 --> 00:33:37,373 Or Mommy. 880 00:33:37,542 --> 00:33:39,775 Or whatever's more comfortable. 881 00:33:41,614 --> 00:33:42,849 DISPATCH: All units, be advised: 882 00:33:43,018 --> 00:33:44,444 Suspect is still at large. 883 00:33:44,613 --> 00:33:46,020 Black cloak, white mask... 884 00:33:46,188 --> 00:33:47,653 (SIGHS) ...big-ass knife. 885 00:33:47,822 --> 00:33:48,658 (SNIFFS) 886 00:33:48,827 --> 00:33:50,753 (DISPATCH CHATTERS FAINTLY) 887 00:33:53,490 --> 00:33:55,131 (BABY WAILS DISTANTLY) 888 00:33:56,196 --> 00:33:57,831 (BABY CRYING) (SIGHS) 889 00:33:57,999 --> 00:34:00,233 (PHONE RINGS, CHIMES) 890 00:34:00,435 --> 00:34:03,198 Talk to me. GHOSTFACE: Hello, Sheriff. 891 00:34:03,366 --> 00:34:04,665 Agent Underwood? 892 00:34:04,834 --> 00:34:06,503 GHOSTFACE: I'll give you one hint. 893 00:34:06,672 --> 00:34:09,043 What's your favorite scary movie? 894 00:34:09,212 --> 00:34:11,071 Well, I'm gonna go with Saltburn. 895 00:34:11,273 --> 00:34:14,009 I mean, the member on that English guy was terrifying. 896 00:34:14,178 --> 00:34:17,245 Ken Jeong's junk in The Hangover was a much better depiction 897 00:34:17,414 --> 00:34:19,184 of the male anatomy. 898 00:34:19,353 --> 00:34:20,848 Now what do you want, fuckface? 899 00:34:21,017 --> 00:34:22,419 GHOSTFACE: Well, I'm just calling to tell you 900 00:34:22,587 --> 00:34:24,191 that by the time you get home, 901 00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:26,459 I'll have gutted your baby girl! 902 00:34:27,227 --> 00:34:30,092 Hey, asshole, she's a boy! 903 00:34:30,261 --> 00:34:33,268 (SIREN WAILS) 904 00:34:37,368 --> 00:34:38,372 (TIRES SQUEAL) 905 00:34:39,203 --> 00:34:40,176 Jess! 906 00:34:40,974 --> 00:34:41,837 (GROANS) 907 00:34:42,571 --> 00:34:45,214 (HEARTBEAT THUMPING) 908 00:34:48,048 --> 00:34:49,783 (DISTANT SIRENS) 909 00:34:49,951 --> 00:34:51,451 (BIRDS TWEETING) 910 00:34:55,454 --> 00:34:56,951 GHOSTFACE: Looking for this? 911 00:34:58,190 --> 00:34:59,963 Let me help you. 912 00:35:00,132 --> 00:35:04,200 I got your baby dick. Winky, winky, winky. 913 00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:11,570 (PHONE RINGING) 914 00:35:13,375 --> 00:35:15,272 All right. (CLEARS THROAT) Here we go. 915 00:35:15,441 --> 00:35:17,046 What do you want, fuckface? 916 00:35:17,215 --> 00:35:20,449 GHOSTFACE: Well, like father, like, uh, son? 917 00:35:20,618 --> 00:35:22,185 Uh-- 918 00:35:22,387 --> 00:35:23,746 I understand you're home alone. (PLATE CLINKS) 919 00:35:23,915 --> 00:35:27,121 Well, Dad's out, but the pool guy, the gardener 920 00:35:27,290 --> 00:35:30,125 and the plumber are all here, asshole. 921 00:35:30,294 --> 00:35:31,788 GHOSTFACE: Look out your window. 922 00:35:33,428 --> 00:35:34,796 (WHISTLE BLOWS) (MEN YELLING) 923 00:35:34,965 --> 00:35:36,563 (SIREN WHOOPING) ICE! 924 00:35:36,732 --> 00:35:39,432 No! But they're the backbone of the American workforce! 925 00:35:39,601 --> 00:35:41,971 (WHIMPERS) And I'm too white to do those jobs. 926 00:35:42,140 --> 00:35:43,673 GHOSTFACE: Let's cut to the chase. 927 00:35:43,875 --> 00:35:45,800 I'll ask you one question. 928 00:35:45,969 --> 00:35:48,738 If you answer correctly, you live. 929 00:35:48,907 --> 00:35:52,478 Who was the killer in Horror Movie? 930 00:35:52,647 --> 00:35:55,710 Oh, that's easy. It was Bobby and then Gay Ray 931 00:35:55,912 --> 00:35:57,711 the guy who was totally into dudes, 932 00:35:57,913 --> 00:35:59,018 even though he claimed he wasn't. 933 00:35:59,187 --> 00:36:01,119 Classic 2000s homophobia. 934 00:36:01,287 --> 00:36:02,720 But I got you, bitch. 935 00:36:02,922 --> 00:36:05,653 GHOSTFACE: Wrong! You forgot Special Officer Doofy. 936 00:36:05,822 --> 00:36:08,528 Now you die. (DOORBELL RINGS) 937 00:36:16,135 --> 00:36:17,805 Bumbaclot! 938 00:36:17,973 --> 00:36:19,342 (DOORBELL RINGS) 939 00:36:19,511 --> 00:36:21,101 GHOSTFACE: You should probably answer that. 940 00:36:21,270 --> 00:36:24,739 I can literally see you trying to steal my package. 941 00:36:24,941 --> 00:36:27,307 (PACKAGE FIZZLES) GHOSTFACE: Oh, shit! 942 00:36:27,476 --> 00:36:28,508 (GAGS) 943 00:36:28,677 --> 00:36:30,080 Ah, that was easy. 944 00:36:30,282 --> 00:36:32,682 (DOORBELL RINGS) 945 00:36:32,851 --> 00:36:34,690 GHOSTFACE: Uh, someone order steaks? 946 00:36:34,859 --> 00:36:36,725 It's GoPuff. Hmm. 947 00:36:36,894 --> 00:36:38,620 (FLOORBOARD CREAKS) 948 00:36:38,789 --> 00:36:40,788 Wait a sec. GHOSTFACE: Careful. 949 00:36:40,957 --> 00:36:42,966 You wouldn't want to let in a killer. 950 00:36:43,134 --> 00:36:47,501 You are about to identify as dead. 951 00:36:48,937 --> 00:36:49,833 (GURGLES) 952 00:36:50,367 --> 00:36:51,533 You... 953 00:36:51,702 --> 00:36:54,170 stab like-- (CHOKES) a girl. 954 00:36:54,339 --> 00:36:55,441 (THUDS) 955 00:36:55,644 --> 00:36:57,280 (FAINT POLICE CHATTER) (DISTANT SIRENS) 956 00:37:01,847 --> 00:37:04,219 Come on, girl, hit that Ghostface Shuffle. 957 00:37:04,388 --> 00:37:06,749 Try the Ghostface Killah Collection Bundle. 958 00:37:06,918 --> 00:37:09,322 This is Keke West for OnlyFans Rapid News. 959 00:37:09,491 --> 00:37:11,026 "Rapid News". You mean "Vapid News". 960 00:37:11,195 --> 00:37:13,196 You don't even have a cameraman! 961 00:37:13,365 --> 00:37:14,561 (GASPS) My equipment! (EQUIPMENT CLATTERS) 962 00:37:15,964 --> 00:37:17,157 Excuse me. 963 00:37:18,968 --> 00:37:19,997 Oh, my. You're-- 964 00:37:20,166 --> 00:37:21,430 Yes, yes. 965 00:37:21,632 --> 00:37:23,065 Three-time Emmy nominee 966 00:37:23,234 --> 00:37:25,735 for Outstanding Achievement in Sensational Reporting. 967 00:37:25,904 --> 00:37:27,801 I was gonna say the lady from Friends, 968 00:37:28,003 --> 00:37:30,211 but shorter and with less Botox. 969 00:37:30,380 --> 00:37:31,540 Oh. (CHUCKLES) Is that what you were 970 00:37:31,709 --> 00:37:33,082 "gonna say"? (LAUGHS) Yeah. 971 00:37:33,250 --> 00:37:34,645 You seriously don't know who I am? 972 00:37:34,847 --> 00:37:37,079 Babygirl, I am Gail-- DOOFY: Gail swallows! 973 00:37:37,248 --> 00:37:38,215 Hey. 974 00:37:38,384 --> 00:37:39,483 Hailstorm. Gail-- 975 00:37:39,685 --> 00:37:41,790 Get the hell out of my way! Oh. 976 00:37:41,992 --> 00:37:43,117 (POLICE SIREN WHOOPS) 977 00:37:46,095 --> 00:37:49,458 Doofus. Hey, Gail. 978 00:37:49,661 --> 00:37:51,896 Wow. You haven't aged a day. 979 00:37:52,065 --> 00:37:55,070 You've aged like a million days. That's this many. Five-- 980 00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:56,800 Your fingers smell like genitals. 981 00:37:56,969 --> 00:37:58,971 What are you doing in that ridiculous uniform? 982 00:37:59,140 --> 00:38:02,611 Uh, I-I'm back on the case. Yeah, I'm gonna bust Ghostface. 983 00:38:02,780 --> 00:38:04,004 Well, um, 984 00:38:04,207 --> 00:38:06,442 tell me, Special Needs Officer Doofy... 985 00:38:06,610 --> 00:38:08,346 (DOOFY GROANS) Um. 986 00:38:08,548 --> 00:38:09,946 Wow. Are there any suspects 987 00:38:10,115 --> 00:38:12,712 in this tragic yet completely predictable incident? 988 00:38:12,881 --> 00:38:14,322 I-I'm not allowed to say. 989 00:38:14,525 --> 00:38:16,649 No, no, okay, no. Yes, you can. Yes, you can. 990 00:38:16,851 --> 00:38:18,455 Not-- Yeah-- (MOANS) 991 00:38:18,624 --> 00:38:19,589 (MUMBLES) You can tell me. 992 00:38:19,758 --> 00:38:20,930 Um, ah, oh, my God. (CHUCKLES) 993 00:38:21,099 --> 00:38:22,157 What the f-- (DOOFY CHUCKLES) 994 00:38:22,359 --> 00:38:23,727 Hey! 995 00:38:23,896 --> 00:38:25,627 Remember when you used to give blowjobs 996 00:38:25,796 --> 00:38:27,602 for sensitive information? 997 00:38:27,771 --> 00:38:31,102 I don't give blowjobs anymore, okay? Not since MeToo. 998 00:38:31,271 --> 00:38:32,639 Okay. Sorry. 999 00:38:32,807 --> 00:38:35,169 I give handjobs now, but the story better be good. 1000 00:38:35,337 --> 00:38:38,678 Okay, I'll do a handjob. Let's do it. Let's do it. 1001 00:38:42,217 --> 00:38:43,782 (INHALING SHARPLY) 1002 00:38:49,585 --> 00:38:50,657 What the-- 1003 00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:01,233 I'm gonna get you. Uncle Ray-Ray's gonna get you! 1004 00:39:01,435 --> 00:39:02,904 Ray? You got my outfit, 1005 00:39:03,106 --> 00:39:04,231 you little critter. 1006 00:39:07,641 --> 00:39:09,676 Maybe weed shouldn't be legal. 1007 00:39:11,442 --> 00:39:12,243 (SCOFFS) 1008 00:39:12,445 --> 00:39:13,977 Fuck yeah, it should! 1009 00:39:16,018 --> 00:39:17,511 (GIGGLES) 1010 00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:18,553 (DOOR SHUTS) 1011 00:39:21,853 --> 00:39:24,058 (LAMP CLICKS) (SNEAKERS SQUEAK) 1012 00:39:24,260 --> 00:39:26,052 GHOSTFACE: Hello, Shorty. 1013 00:39:26,255 --> 00:39:29,726 You do know that smoking is bad for you. 1014 00:39:29,894 --> 00:39:31,396 Actually, weed ain't bad for you. 1015 00:39:31,565 --> 00:39:34,495 You got Vitamin T, C and H, 1016 00:39:34,664 --> 00:39:36,601 C, B and D. 1017 00:39:36,803 --> 00:39:38,237 GHOSTFACE: What's the matter, Shorty? 1018 00:39:38,406 --> 00:39:41,233 You look a little antsy. 1019 00:39:41,402 --> 00:39:44,804 Maybe because there's a masked serial killer 1020 00:39:44,973 --> 00:39:46,182 sipping tea in my den. 1021 00:39:46,350 --> 00:39:48,017 GHOSTFACE: Shorty, you're my nigga. 1022 00:39:48,186 --> 00:39:50,686 I mean, friend. Please, sit. 1023 00:39:50,855 --> 00:39:52,048 All right. 1024 00:39:53,023 --> 00:39:55,181 (SPOON SCRAPING) 1025 00:39:55,316 --> 00:39:57,083 GHOSTFACE: Do you want to quit smoking? 1026 00:39:57,285 --> 00:39:59,419 Well, to be honest, I tried to quit. 1027 00:39:59,621 --> 00:40:02,861 But my mother said, "I ain't raisin' no quitters." 1028 00:40:03,595 --> 00:40:04,794 So I quit quitting. 1029 00:40:04,997 --> 00:40:07,096 GHOSTFACE: We could try hypnosis. 1030 00:40:07,264 --> 00:40:09,029 Bro, I don't care how many pocket watches 1031 00:40:09,198 --> 00:40:11,031 you try and wave in front of my face 1032 00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:12,770 it ain't gonna work, son. (CHUCKLES) 1033 00:40:12,939 --> 00:40:15,542 You can't magmetize me. GHOSTFACE: Sleep. 1034 00:40:15,711 --> 00:40:18,340 (SNORING) ("ROCKABYE BABY" PLAYS) 1035 00:40:18,509 --> 00:40:20,376 Shorty. 1036 00:40:20,545 --> 00:40:22,411 (SLURPS) Hmm? 1037 00:40:22,580 --> 00:40:23,879 What's up? 1038 00:40:24,048 --> 00:40:26,383 GHOSTFACE: Tell me about your mother. 1039 00:40:26,552 --> 00:40:27,856 (SOFT SCRAPING) 1040 00:40:28,025 --> 00:40:29,259 Damn, nigga. 1041 00:40:29,428 --> 00:40:30,950 Let's start with something light, like: 1042 00:40:31,119 --> 00:40:33,060 "Do you lick ass, yes or no?" 1043 00:40:33,229 --> 00:40:35,056 The answer's yes. 1044 00:40:35,225 --> 00:40:37,766 GHOSTFACE: So what happened to her, Shorty? 1045 00:40:37,935 --> 00:40:39,667 (SCRAPING) 1046 00:40:40,599 --> 00:40:42,395 She was coming home. 1047 00:40:43,431 --> 00:40:45,468 Her car was parked to the side of the road. 1048 00:40:45,637 --> 00:40:47,576 Someone was in it. 1049 00:40:48,446 --> 00:40:49,973 And something bad was happening. 1050 00:40:50,175 --> 00:40:52,207 (WOMAN MOANING) (MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR RADIO) 1051 00:40:54,375 --> 00:40:55,917 GHOSTFACE: Why didn't you call anyone? 1052 00:40:56,086 --> 00:40:56,919 I couldn't. 1053 00:40:57,088 --> 00:40:58,450 I had warrants. 1054 00:40:58,619 --> 00:41:00,089 GHOSTFACE: You were 11. 1055 00:41:00,258 --> 00:41:02,085 I started young, nigga. 1056 00:41:03,225 --> 00:41:04,120 GHOSTFACE: Oh. 1057 00:41:04,721 --> 00:41:06,529 What do you see? 1058 00:41:08,063 --> 00:41:09,195 I... 1059 00:41:09,397 --> 00:41:11,190 (WOMAN MOANING) 1060 00:41:11,393 --> 00:41:14,262 SHORTY: I see a big explosion of water. 1061 00:41:16,068 --> 00:41:17,672 It was like a Civil Rights hose. 1062 00:41:22,073 --> 00:41:24,173 Police said it was a murder/suicide. 1063 00:41:25,380 --> 00:41:26,914 She killed that man. 1064 00:41:27,083 --> 00:41:30,685 When they opened the car door, his limp body just slid out. 1065 00:41:34,020 --> 00:41:36,853 Like the green nigga in Shape of Water. 1066 00:41:37,021 --> 00:41:38,660 I just didn't want it to be real. 1067 00:41:38,828 --> 00:41:40,959 GHOSTFACE: What don't you want to be real? 1068 00:41:41,993 --> 00:41:43,992 That my mother was a squirter! 1069 00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:46,468 (CRYING) Okay! She was a squirter. 1070 00:41:46,637 --> 00:41:48,965 All the floors in her bedroom was warped. 1071 00:41:49,134 --> 00:41:52,172 I can't move. GHOSTFACE: You're paralyzed. 1072 00:41:52,341 --> 00:41:54,102 Now... (SCRAPING) 1073 00:41:54,271 --> 00:41:56,342 ...sink into the chair. Wait, no. 1074 00:41:56,511 --> 00:41:57,606 Wait. GHOSTFACE: Sink! 1075 00:41:57,775 --> 00:41:58,781 (ECHOING CLANG) 1076 00:41:58,950 --> 00:42:00,541 (SCREAMS) 1077 00:42:00,743 --> 00:42:03,280 (GROANS) 1078 00:42:03,449 --> 00:42:06,050 Nigga! 1079 00:42:09,621 --> 00:42:11,594 (INAUDIBLE) 1080 00:42:14,391 --> 00:42:18,832 SHORTY: (ECHOING) I'm in a K-hole, son! 1081 00:42:20,263 --> 00:42:23,837 GHOSTFACE: No, you're in a K-pop hole. 1082 00:42:24,769 --> 00:42:26,807 (BUZZING, WARBLING) 1083 00:42:37,155 --> 00:42:39,050 Oh, shit, son! 1084 00:42:45,052 --> 00:42:46,222 Nigga, I'm numb. 1085 00:42:49,995 --> 00:42:51,898 That's what they do in the hood. 1086 00:42:54,963 --> 00:42:56,672 (SQUEALING) 1087 00:43:00,970 --> 00:43:02,502 Luke Skywalker! 1088 00:43:11,187 --> 00:43:12,413 (SCREAMS) 1089 00:43:17,691 --> 00:43:19,123 ♪ Ohh ♪ 1090 00:43:26,701 --> 00:43:29,865 (SHORTY COUGHS, CHOKES) 1091 00:43:30,034 --> 00:43:31,733 That's some good shit, son. 1092 00:43:31,902 --> 00:43:33,306 (GASPS, PANTS) 1093 00:43:33,508 --> 00:43:34,969 That dream was wild. 1094 00:43:35,172 --> 00:43:37,079 I must've been Elon Musk high. 1095 00:43:37,247 --> 00:43:39,275 (WOMEN GIGGLING) 1096 00:43:41,648 --> 00:43:43,147 (SPEAKING KOREAN) 1097 00:43:45,584 --> 00:43:46,856 (CHUCKLES) 1098 00:43:47,058 --> 00:43:48,658 (SQUEALS) 1099 00:43:51,427 --> 00:43:52,629 CINDY: Tuesday? 1100 00:43:53,229 --> 00:43:54,455 Tuesday? 1101 00:43:57,629 --> 00:43:58,833 Bobby? 1102 00:44:01,063 --> 00:44:02,903 Bobby, what the...? 1103 00:44:04,241 --> 00:44:05,998 She's gonna die. 1104 00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:07,572 Our daughter, Sara? 1105 00:44:07,740 --> 00:44:09,372 You're probably right. 1106 00:44:09,575 --> 00:44:11,641 She's tough, but let's see her get stabbed in the gut. 1107 00:44:11,810 --> 00:44:13,172 I'm gonna die. 1108 00:44:13,341 --> 00:44:15,484 Bobby, you're already dead. 1109 00:44:15,653 --> 00:44:17,278 This hallucination is a manifestation 1110 00:44:17,447 --> 00:44:19,479 of my own guilt for being an awful mom. 1111 00:44:19,648 --> 00:44:22,120 Or it could be the shrooms I just popped. 1112 00:44:23,261 --> 00:44:24,491 You're gonna die. 1113 00:44:24,660 --> 00:44:27,763 Bitch, you ain't killing me. 1114 00:44:28,662 --> 00:44:30,090 (SNARLS) (GRUNTS) 1115 00:44:30,259 --> 00:44:32,097 (PANTS, GAGS) (CLATTER) 1116 00:44:33,403 --> 00:44:34,528 You're gonna die. 1117 00:44:35,272 --> 00:44:37,601 Stop smiling! 1118 00:44:37,770 --> 00:44:40,142 I can't. Botox. 1119 00:44:40,311 --> 00:44:41,644 MAN: Hey! Oh. 1120 00:44:41,813 --> 00:44:44,672 This is the mental ward. Everyone smiles in here. 1121 00:44:44,841 --> 00:44:45,880 What? 1122 00:44:46,447 --> 00:44:48,508 How-- Um-- 1123 00:44:48,677 --> 00:44:50,649 Could you point me in the direction of the ICU? 1124 00:44:50,818 --> 00:44:52,321 Is it that way or that way? 1125 00:44:52,490 --> 00:44:53,985 Uh, visiting hours are over. 1126 00:44:54,154 --> 00:44:56,352 Oh, yes, of course. (CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY) 1127 00:44:57,487 --> 00:44:58,991 GAIL ON TV: The network wants me to clarify 1128 00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:01,455 that Black Friday has nothing to do with race. 1129 00:45:01,624 --> 00:45:03,563 Well, just tell that to my Black friend Benita 1130 00:45:03,765 --> 00:45:05,031 who's probably clocking someone 1131 00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:07,027 over the head at Target as we speak! 1132 00:45:07,195 --> 00:45:08,133 Right, Benita? 1133 00:45:19,744 --> 00:45:20,717 (SQUEAK) 1134 00:45:23,682 --> 00:45:25,178 Shamone! 1135 00:45:25,347 --> 00:45:26,850 Man, you ain't Michael. 1136 00:45:27,019 --> 00:45:28,854 Michael got that Jheri curl. 1137 00:45:29,022 --> 00:45:30,817 What is that, son? Is that shellac? 1138 00:45:30,986 --> 00:45:33,891 See, people think it's shellac, but it's actually Sharpie. 1139 00:45:34,060 --> 00:45:35,525 Boy, your hair looks like fondue. 1140 00:45:35,694 --> 00:45:36,895 Indoo-dy. 1141 00:45:37,064 --> 00:45:38,768 Michael's got a monkey. I got a llama. 1142 00:45:39,698 --> 00:45:40,498 (BLEATS) 1143 00:45:40,667 --> 00:45:42,066 Fuck Michael! 1144 00:45:42,235 --> 00:45:44,270 You can't dance, boy. I've been practicing. 1145 00:45:44,439 --> 00:45:46,142 Oh! Whoa! 1146 00:45:46,344 --> 00:45:47,570 Jeez. (WHOOPING) 1147 00:45:47,739 --> 00:45:48,804 (CRASHING) 1148 00:45:49,006 --> 00:45:50,213 Yeah! (GRUNTING) 1149 00:45:50,381 --> 00:45:51,908 Bong! Ow! (GROANS) 1150 00:45:52,077 --> 00:45:54,807 I can moonwalk. Ooh, ooh. 1151 00:45:55,009 --> 00:45:56,044 Ooh. 1152 00:45:56,213 --> 00:45:57,948 Where is this nigga goin'? 1153 00:45:58,117 --> 00:45:59,880 (BABBLING) (FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING) 1154 00:46:00,049 --> 00:46:00,783 Ow! (GRUNTS) 1155 00:46:00,985 --> 00:46:02,951 (GRUNTING) Whoo! 1156 00:46:03,153 --> 00:46:04,723 NARRATOR: "Jermaine". 1157 00:46:04,892 --> 00:46:06,628 (FUNKY MUSIC CONTINUES) 1158 00:46:06,831 --> 00:46:10,195 Coming Juneteenth, only on Tubi. 1159 00:46:12,530 --> 00:46:14,469 (MUSIC STOPS) I'ma bootleg that shit. 1160 00:46:14,638 --> 00:46:15,970 (DOOR CLOSES DISTANTLY) 1161 00:46:16,867 --> 00:46:18,005 Hello? 1162 00:46:19,309 --> 00:46:20,238 Fuck this. 1163 00:46:25,583 --> 00:46:27,278 I'm gonna miss you all. 1164 00:46:32,851 --> 00:46:34,318 Oh, hell no! 1165 00:46:34,520 --> 00:46:36,617 Think Black, don't die. Think Black, don't die. 1166 00:46:46,799 --> 00:46:47,831 (GRUNTS) Oh! 1167 00:46:47,999 --> 00:46:50,100 Goddamn it! Jack? 1168 00:46:50,269 --> 00:46:51,934 Did Sara tell you to come? Um... 1169 00:46:52,103 --> 00:46:54,777 Yeah! That's why I'm here. 1170 00:46:54,946 --> 00:46:57,977 Not to murder you or anything like that. 1171 00:46:58,146 --> 00:46:59,508 Then why are you wearing gloves? 1172 00:47:00,474 --> 00:47:02,348 Would you believe I... 1173 00:47:02,551 --> 00:47:05,748 am thinking about dressing up as O.J. Simpson for Halloween? 1174 00:47:05,917 --> 00:47:07,351 But those fit. 1175 00:47:08,215 --> 00:47:09,516 Look out! 1176 00:47:09,718 --> 00:47:11,623 Not cool, bro, you almost hit a vein. 1177 00:47:11,792 --> 00:47:13,328 I-I mean-- Help! 1178 00:47:13,497 --> 00:47:14,457 (GHOSTFACE GRUNTS) 1179 00:47:15,223 --> 00:47:17,125 (BOTH GRUNTING) 1180 00:47:17,294 --> 00:47:18,362 JACK: (WHIMPERS) Oh, yes! 1181 00:47:19,495 --> 00:47:20,731 (GRUNTS) (PHONE CLANGS) 1182 00:47:20,933 --> 00:47:22,170 (GHOSTFACE GRUNTS) 1183 00:47:22,339 --> 00:47:23,537 Oh... 1184 00:47:23,705 --> 00:47:25,164 (MOANS) (HISSING) 1185 00:47:25,333 --> 00:47:27,702 (COUGHS, WHEEZES) 1186 00:47:27,870 --> 00:47:32,013 GHOSTFACE: Whew. (COUGHS) I'm gonna gut you like a pig! 1187 00:47:35,077 --> 00:47:36,377 (SNICKERS) 1188 00:47:36,580 --> 00:47:38,387 (ECHOING) I'm gonna... (TUESDAY GIGGLES) 1189 00:47:38,589 --> 00:47:40,523 I'm gonna... (LAUGHING) 1190 00:47:40,692 --> 00:47:42,291 (ECHOING) What a stupid line. 1191 00:47:42,460 --> 00:47:44,185 (BOTH CACKLING) 1192 00:47:44,354 --> 00:47:45,818 GHOSTFACE: That is so true! 1193 00:47:45,986 --> 00:47:48,726 What are you gonna do? Turn me into bacon? 1194 00:47:48,895 --> 00:47:50,057 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1195 00:47:50,226 --> 00:47:51,894 (IMITATES GNAWING) 1196 00:47:52,063 --> 00:47:53,196 (BOTH CACKLING) 1197 00:47:53,365 --> 00:47:54,703 GHOSTFACE: I got to get better writers. 1198 00:47:54,872 --> 00:47:57,334 I'm laughing so hard, my ribs hurt. 1199 00:47:57,503 --> 00:48:00,705 GHOSTFACE: Wait until I stick my knife in them! 1200 00:48:00,874 --> 00:48:02,945 (DISTORTED LAUGHTER) 1201 00:48:05,312 --> 00:48:07,341 (GHOSTFACE BABBLES) (DISTORTED LAUGHING) 1202 00:48:07,510 --> 00:48:09,681 GHOSTFACE: I'm crying over here. 1203 00:48:09,849 --> 00:48:11,251 I got to go 1204 00:48:11,453 --> 00:48:13,348 before you really kill me. (BREATHLESS) Here I come. 1205 00:48:13,517 --> 00:48:15,982 Oh, God, I might die laughing first! 1206 00:48:16,151 --> 00:48:17,683 (CACKLES) 1207 00:48:17,852 --> 00:48:20,930 Oh. Oh, shit. He's really gonna kill me. 1208 00:48:37,241 --> 00:48:39,113 (TUESDAY STRAINING) 1209 00:48:39,682 --> 00:48:41,874 (WHEELS SQUEAKING) 1210 00:48:42,544 --> 00:48:44,679 I want what they're on. 1211 00:48:45,246 --> 00:48:46,847 (GRUNTS) 1212 00:48:47,015 --> 00:48:49,554 GHOSTFACE: I'm gonna turn you into bacon, little piggy. 1213 00:48:49,723 --> 00:48:50,751 (SCREAMS) 1214 00:48:52,356 --> 00:48:54,425 (TUESDAY WHIMPERING, SOBBING) 1215 00:48:55,961 --> 00:48:57,631 No, no. 1216 00:48:57,800 --> 00:48:59,463 No. (ELEVATOR DINGS) 1217 00:49:01,631 --> 00:49:03,134 I'm sorry. Excuse me. Excuse me. 1218 00:49:03,302 --> 00:49:04,432 I'm so sorry. Out of our way! 1219 00:49:04,601 --> 00:49:06,769 Step aside. Official police business. 1220 00:49:06,938 --> 00:49:07,940 Doofy! 1221 00:49:08,109 --> 00:49:10,541 (CROWD GROANS) I like doing that. 1222 00:49:10,710 --> 00:49:11,574 Ooh! 1223 00:49:12,540 --> 00:49:14,642 Smile, you son of a bitch. 1224 00:49:14,844 --> 00:49:17,881 GHOSTFACE: What the f...? My psycho mother said 1225 00:49:18,050 --> 00:49:19,956 always keep a strap. 1226 00:49:21,592 --> 00:49:22,824 Go! Go! Okay. 1227 00:49:22,993 --> 00:49:24,356 I'm gonna go get your love interest. 1228 00:49:24,558 --> 00:49:25,923 I'll get your love interest. (TUESDAY MOANING) 1229 00:49:26,092 --> 00:49:29,190 Ow, the pain, the agony. 1230 00:49:29,393 --> 00:49:31,460 Sara, if I don't make it... 1231 00:49:31,629 --> 00:49:33,968 Seriously, Tues, stop trying to win an Oscar. 1232 00:49:34,137 --> 00:49:36,332 It's a horror movie, it'll never happen. 1233 00:49:36,501 --> 00:49:38,572 Just ask Demi Moore. (ELEVATOR DINGS) 1234 00:49:38,740 --> 00:49:41,439 (GROANS) No! No! 1235 00:49:41,607 --> 00:49:43,003 (TUESDAY WHIMPERING) I got him. I got Jack. 1236 00:49:43,206 --> 00:49:44,079 (JACK SIGHS) 1237 00:49:45,445 --> 00:49:47,441 (PEOPLE CLAMORING) Doofy! What the fuck? 1238 00:49:47,610 --> 00:49:49,447 The fuck? I can't help myself. 1239 00:49:51,988 --> 00:49:54,222 It's just me and you now, Ghosty. 1240 00:49:54,424 --> 00:49:55,354 Hm. 1241 00:49:56,751 --> 00:49:58,619 You got to shoot them in the head. 1242 00:49:58,788 --> 00:50:00,326 (WHISPERING) Shoot them in the head. 1243 00:50:02,690 --> 00:50:05,133 (GHOSTFACE GRUNTS) Oof. Ow. 1244 00:50:08,300 --> 00:50:10,498 GHOSTFACE: Die! (WAILS) 1245 00:50:10,667 --> 00:50:12,340 GHOSTFACE: Die, you little dumb dunce. 1246 00:50:12,509 --> 00:50:13,703 Smell... 1247 00:50:13,906 --> 00:50:14,934 my... 1248 00:50:15,678 --> 00:50:16,804 finger. 1249 00:50:17,681 --> 00:50:18,680 GHOSTFACE: Oh, God! 1250 00:50:18,849 --> 00:50:21,317 What the fuck was that? Ugh. 1251 00:50:21,486 --> 00:50:23,180 My ass. 1252 00:50:23,349 --> 00:50:25,380 GHOSTFACE: Fuck your ass! Pause. 1253 00:50:25,549 --> 00:50:27,649 (GASPS, GRUNTS) (STRAINS) 1254 00:50:27,818 --> 00:50:29,320 DOOFY: Oh, God, that's-- that's my ass. 1255 00:50:29,489 --> 00:50:31,987 Oh, God. (GROANS) GHOSTFACE: Any last words? 1256 00:50:32,156 --> 00:50:33,858 I go poopy. 1257 00:50:34,027 --> 00:50:35,257 (FARTS LOUDLY) 1258 00:50:35,459 --> 00:50:37,090 (DOOR CLICKS, CREAKS OPEN) 1259 00:50:37,293 --> 00:50:38,562 (GASPS) 1260 00:50:38,730 --> 00:50:41,293 Oh, hell no. I ain't cleaning up that shit! 1261 00:50:41,462 --> 00:50:43,031 I'm on break. 1262 00:50:43,200 --> 00:50:46,565 GHOSTFACE: Come on, I do the killing, not the cleaning. Ugh. 1263 00:50:46,767 --> 00:50:48,743 What you say? Never mind. 1264 00:50:48,946 --> 00:50:50,337 (AIRHORN) Yo, what's up, chat? 1265 00:50:50,505 --> 00:50:51,971 This your boy Shorty. 1266 00:50:52,140 --> 00:50:53,576 That's right, it's another Halloween-a-thon. 1267 00:50:53,778 --> 00:50:56,685 And it's another day of me getting paid mad money 1268 00:50:56,854 --> 00:50:59,020 for doing absolutely nothing 1269 00:50:59,189 --> 00:51:00,780 while you stupid motherfuckers watch. 1270 00:51:00,982 --> 00:51:03,455 (ALL CACKLING) And they call me dumb! 1271 00:51:03,657 --> 00:51:06,628 I want to give a smooth shout-out to my sponsor: 1272 00:51:06,830 --> 00:51:09,026 Angry Orchard Hard Cider. 1273 00:51:09,195 --> 00:51:10,324 (CRACKS CAN) (SLURP) 1274 00:51:10,493 --> 00:51:12,893 They got mad apples, son. 1275 00:51:14,705 --> 00:51:16,028 (YELLING, LAUGHING) 1276 00:51:16,197 --> 00:51:19,040 We created a slogan! I'm a marketing genius! 1277 00:51:19,209 --> 00:51:21,071 Aight. It wouldn't be a Halloween-a-thon 1278 00:51:21,239 --> 00:51:22,406 without a dope guest. 1279 00:51:22,575 --> 00:51:23,678 He's a legend in the streaming game. 1280 00:51:23,847 --> 00:51:26,773 Give it up for Kai Cenat! 1281 00:51:26,942 --> 00:51:29,212 We gonna break the internet! (CHEERING) 1282 00:51:29,381 --> 00:51:31,278 ALL: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! 1283 00:51:31,447 --> 00:51:33,049 Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! 1284 00:51:33,218 --> 00:51:35,249 (CHEERING, LAUGHING) 1285 00:51:35,418 --> 00:51:36,450 Let's get serious. 1286 00:51:36,619 --> 00:51:38,487 What brings you to the chat? 1287 00:51:38,690 --> 00:51:40,258 You promised I was gonna be in the movie. 1288 00:51:40,427 --> 00:51:43,199 I've been calling you. You ghosted me. 1289 00:51:43,367 --> 00:51:45,964 Bro, I thought that was one of my crazy-ass baby mamas. 1290 00:51:46,167 --> 00:51:47,462 That's-- That's my bad. 1291 00:51:47,664 --> 00:51:49,695 And speaking of ghosted-- (SCOFFS) 1292 00:51:49,864 --> 00:51:51,606 Somebody wants to talk to you. 1293 00:51:51,775 --> 00:51:53,198 (MOUTHING) Hello? 1294 00:51:53,367 --> 00:51:55,071 GHOSTFACE: What's your favorite scary movie? 1295 00:51:55,240 --> 00:51:56,942 (ALL HOLLERING) 1296 00:51:57,110 --> 00:51:58,812 (LAUGHS) Nah! Oh! 1297 00:51:58,981 --> 00:52:01,315 Oh, whoa, whoa! Ah! 1298 00:52:02,049 --> 00:52:04,582 (ALL CHEERING) 1299 00:52:05,382 --> 00:52:07,955 (EXCITED CHATTER) 1300 00:52:08,124 --> 00:52:09,855 We breaking the internet, son! 1301 00:52:10,057 --> 00:52:11,124 What's up, my guy? 1302 00:52:11,293 --> 00:52:12,456 GHOSTFACE: You got some Angry Orchard 1303 00:52:12,625 --> 00:52:13,752 Hard Cider in the house? You damn right. 1304 00:52:13,921 --> 00:52:15,496 GHOSTFACE: They got mad apples. 1305 00:52:15,698 --> 00:52:17,092 ALL: Oh! 1306 00:52:17,261 --> 00:52:18,323 Wassup? 1307 00:52:18,526 --> 00:52:19,998 Wassup? 1308 00:52:20,201 --> 00:52:22,171 (ALL YELLING EXCITEDLY) 1309 00:52:23,205 --> 00:52:24,773 We about to do my favorite thing: 1310 00:52:24,942 --> 00:52:28,535 Spin the... wheel! (CHEERING) 1311 00:52:28,737 --> 00:52:30,640 GROUP: Extreme Noodle Game! 1312 00:52:30,809 --> 00:52:32,339 We gonna go back there with these noodles 1313 00:52:32,508 --> 00:52:33,441 and we gonna smack 1314 00:52:33,610 --> 00:52:34,608 the fuck out you! (CHUCKLES) 1315 00:52:34,777 --> 00:52:36,018 Then you gotta guess who did it. 1316 00:52:36,187 --> 00:52:36,783 GHOSTFACE: That doesn't even make sense. 1317 00:52:36,951 --> 00:52:37,885 (GROUP CHANTING) 1318 00:52:38,088 --> 00:52:38,781 GHOSTFACE: This is a dumb game. 1319 00:52:40,651 --> 00:52:41,719 (CHEERING) GHOSTFACE: Oh! 1320 00:52:41,922 --> 00:52:42,851 Uh... 1321 00:52:43,653 --> 00:52:44,451 Kai. Kai. Man, what? 1322 00:52:44,620 --> 00:52:45,351 Yeah. (MEN CACKLING) 1323 00:52:45,553 --> 00:52:48,454 (GROUP CHANTING) 1324 00:52:48,623 --> 00:52:50,324 (GHOSTFACE GRUNTS) 1325 00:52:50,493 --> 00:52:51,460 (METALLIC SCRAPE) 1326 00:52:51,629 --> 00:52:53,833 Wait-- No, no, no-- (ALL YELL) 1327 00:52:54,002 --> 00:52:56,105 (GHOSTFACE CHANTING) 1328 00:52:56,274 --> 00:53:00,301 You just killed Kai Cenat. On the chat. 1329 00:53:00,470 --> 00:53:01,567 (FIREWORKS BURSTING) 1330 00:53:01,770 --> 00:53:03,205 We making history, son! 1331 00:53:03,374 --> 00:53:04,308 (ALL CHEERING) 1332 00:53:04,477 --> 00:53:05,577 (SINGING) Money, money, money! 1333 00:53:13,715 --> 00:53:15,686 (DISTANT SIRENS WAILING) 1334 00:53:25,165 --> 00:53:26,565 Oh, thank God. 1335 00:53:29,630 --> 00:53:30,830 (SIRENS STOP) 1336 00:53:30,999 --> 00:53:32,505 MAN: It's about time you guys got here! 1337 00:53:33,174 --> 00:53:35,002 Now you're gonna get it. 1338 00:53:35,736 --> 00:53:36,843 (COPS GRUNT) Oof! 1339 00:53:37,011 --> 00:53:38,077 (COPS GRUNTING) 1340 00:53:38,246 --> 00:53:39,710 COP: Hold still! (BLOWS LAND) 1341 00:53:39,878 --> 00:53:41,577 So that's our suspect. (BEATING CONTINUES, MUFFLED) 1342 00:53:41,746 --> 00:53:44,244 Goes by the name "Shorthand". Hmm. 1343 00:53:44,413 --> 00:53:48,323 Was the handyman at a house reputed to be haunted in 2001. 1344 00:53:49,459 --> 00:53:50,891 Is there anything you're not telling me? 1345 00:53:51,060 --> 00:53:52,894 That your wife hates you 1346 00:53:53,063 --> 00:53:54,657 you believe the Earth is flat 1347 00:53:54,826 --> 00:53:56,761 and you voted for Trump three times. 1348 00:53:56,964 --> 00:53:59,159 (STAMMERS) What, I was supposed to vote for the woman? 1349 00:53:59,328 --> 00:54:00,664 Huh? 1350 00:54:00,833 --> 00:54:04,138 I believe Shorthand is the notorious Ghostface. 1351 00:54:04,340 --> 00:54:05,597 (BEATING, SHOUTING CONTINUES, MUFFLED) 1352 00:54:05,766 --> 00:54:07,799 What that mouth do? 1353 00:54:08,001 --> 00:54:09,408 Stop resisting! (COP GRUNTS) 1354 00:54:09,577 --> 00:54:11,647 He did look pretty sketchy. (BLOWS LANDING) 1355 00:54:11,849 --> 00:54:13,772 (BEATING CONTINUES) 1356 00:54:13,941 --> 00:54:15,216 (GROANING) (THUDS) 1357 00:54:15,385 --> 00:54:17,285 They got the wrong guy. (BEATING CONTINUES) 1358 00:54:17,487 --> 00:54:19,219 And you know that because you're psychic? 1359 00:54:19,387 --> 00:54:21,356 No, says so on the arrest warrant. 1360 00:54:23,820 --> 00:54:25,050 I don't know. (BEATING CONTINUES) 1361 00:54:25,219 --> 00:54:27,355 That guy's Black. Nah, he's kinda... 1362 00:54:27,524 --> 00:54:28,790 not that Black. 1363 00:54:28,992 --> 00:54:30,523 (COP SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY) Like gravy brown. 1364 00:54:30,691 --> 00:54:32,094 (GRUNTS) Ugh! 1365 00:54:32,263 --> 00:54:33,765 Get him! 1366 00:54:33,934 --> 00:54:35,462 Hit him with your strong hand! (BEATING CONTINUES) 1367 00:54:35,631 --> 00:54:37,065 (GRUNTS) Boom! 1368 00:54:37,234 --> 00:54:39,935 Arrest him anyways. Probably did something, right? 1369 00:54:40,868 --> 00:54:42,476 Turn off your body cams! 1370 00:54:43,245 --> 00:54:45,238 Miss Hailstorm, welcome back. 1371 00:54:45,407 --> 00:54:48,283 Doc, I'm begging you. You got to help me look younger. 1372 00:54:48,452 --> 00:54:49,941 These little bitches are killing me out there. 1373 00:54:50,110 --> 00:54:51,151 They're wearing nothing but a-- 1374 00:54:51,353 --> 00:54:53,279 a sausage casing and a ring light. 1375 00:54:53,448 --> 00:54:57,749 Trust me with this withered, decrepit, age-ravaged body, 1376 00:54:57,918 --> 00:54:59,995 and I will make you whole. 1377 00:55:00,197 --> 00:55:01,457 One Middle-Aged White Lady Special 1378 00:55:01,626 --> 00:55:03,129 coming right up. Thanks. 1379 00:55:03,298 --> 00:55:04,429 I'm gonna play a quick video 1380 00:55:04,598 --> 00:55:05,795 on the ins and outs of the procedure, 1381 00:55:05,964 --> 00:55:08,161 and then we'll get started. (CHUCKLES) 1382 00:55:10,130 --> 00:55:11,703 (HEAVY ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING) 1383 00:55:11,905 --> 00:55:14,670 NARRATOR: Do you wish you weren't so old and saggy? 1384 00:55:14,839 --> 00:55:17,339 Do you wish you were younger? Sexier? 1385 00:55:17,508 --> 00:55:19,038 Fuckable again? 1386 00:55:19,241 --> 00:55:22,510 One single injection unlocks your DNA, 1387 00:55:22,713 --> 00:55:25,453 creating a new, better you. 1388 00:55:26,154 --> 00:55:28,350 This is The Stuff. 1389 00:55:28,552 --> 00:55:29,785 (MUSIC BLARES, CUTS) 1390 00:55:29,954 --> 00:55:32,084 Doc, this isn't that Gwyneth Paltrow crap 1391 00:55:32,253 --> 00:55:34,187 that makes you smell like her vag, is it? 1392 00:55:36,631 --> 00:55:38,127 ("BRAND NEW" BY ALIYA'S INTERLUDE PLAYS) 1393 00:55:38,296 --> 00:55:39,159 I like it. 1394 00:55:42,103 --> 00:55:42,965 (YELPS) 1395 00:55:44,502 --> 00:55:45,869 (PAINED SHOUT) 1396 00:55:47,341 --> 00:55:48,639 ♪ I feel... ♪ 1397 00:55:48,841 --> 00:55:50,439 (LIPS POP) ♪ Brand fucking new ♪ 1398 00:55:50,641 --> 00:55:51,374 ♪ New ♪ 1399 00:55:51,576 --> 00:55:52,607 ♪ New ♪ 1400 00:55:52,810 --> 00:55:54,306 ♪ Brand fucking new ♪ 1401 00:55:55,647 --> 00:55:57,551 Wow, that's a lot of Stuff. 1402 00:55:59,319 --> 00:56:00,554 Oh, a mask on a mask. 1403 00:56:01,256 --> 00:56:02,787 Safety first, right, Doc? 1404 00:56:03,488 --> 00:56:04,683 (PAINED SHOUT, GASPS) 1405 00:56:04,852 --> 00:56:06,826 (WHIMPERS) Oh, no! 1406 00:56:06,995 --> 00:56:07,996 (GASPS) 1407 00:56:08,165 --> 00:56:09,923 I'm having second thoughts! 1408 00:56:10,126 --> 00:56:12,258 I'm gonna love and accept myself as I am. 1409 00:56:13,067 --> 00:56:14,100 (SCREAMS) 1410 00:56:14,303 --> 00:56:15,633 ("BRAND NEW" CONTINUES) 1411 00:56:15,836 --> 00:56:17,162 (GASPS, GRUNTS) ♪ I feel ♪ 1412 00:56:17,331 --> 00:56:19,038 ♪ Brand fucking new ♪ (GRUNTS) 1413 00:56:19,207 --> 00:56:20,832 (AGONIZED GROANING) 1414 00:56:21,001 --> 00:56:24,171 (WHIMPERING, GROANING) 1415 00:56:26,113 --> 00:56:28,076 (BURBLING) 1416 00:56:30,680 --> 00:56:32,245 (LOW GURGLING) 1417 00:56:33,320 --> 00:56:34,885 (PAINED GROAN) 1418 00:56:46,367 --> 00:56:47,297 (DISTANT ECHOING SCREAM) 1419 00:56:47,499 --> 00:56:49,471 (REVERBERATING TONES) 1420 00:56:51,399 --> 00:56:53,442 (HIGH-PITCHED RINGING) (MUFFLED BREATHING) 1421 00:57:15,758 --> 00:57:17,589 Oops. Wrong movie. 1422 00:57:17,758 --> 00:57:19,765 (GIGGLES) 1423 00:57:19,934 --> 00:57:22,262 You were thinking it. GHOSTFACE: But you said it. 1424 00:57:23,471 --> 00:57:25,331 White Chicks 2, my ass. 1425 00:57:25,533 --> 00:57:26,937 ("BRAND NEW" CONTINUES) ♪ I feel ♪ 1426 00:57:27,106 --> 00:57:28,277 ♪ Brand fucking new ♪ (NEEDLE CLATTERS) 1427 00:57:28,446 --> 00:57:29,508 ♪ New ♪ (SNEAKERS SQUEAKING) 1428 00:57:29,710 --> 00:57:32,481 ♪ I feel brand fucking new ♪ 1429 00:57:33,908 --> 00:57:35,583 CINDY: Hey, Sara. 1430 00:57:36,713 --> 00:57:38,217 (SIGHS) Tuesday, I-- 1431 00:57:38,385 --> 00:57:40,252 I tried to visit you. 1432 00:57:40,421 --> 00:57:42,682 I am sorry for everything. 1433 00:57:42,884 --> 00:57:44,655 Especially your name. 1434 00:57:44,824 --> 00:57:47,353 It was Taco Tuesday. I was super drunk. 1435 00:57:47,555 --> 00:57:51,192 But I promise you, I will kill this motherfucker! 1436 00:57:51,394 --> 00:57:52,664 It's fine, really, we're cool. JACK: I'm gonna-- 1437 00:57:52,833 --> 00:57:54,026 I'll pull the car around. We're good. 1438 00:57:54,228 --> 00:57:55,733 I'm going to take you to the car! 1439 00:57:55,902 --> 00:57:58,229 I got stabbed. I'm not deaf, you dumbass! 1440 00:57:58,398 --> 00:58:00,938 I'm taking Tues away from all of this! 1441 00:58:01,904 --> 00:58:03,105 Oh... Come on, Cindy. 1442 00:58:03,940 --> 00:58:05,979 I tried to run, too, but... 1443 00:58:06,148 --> 00:58:08,507 it follows! 1444 00:58:08,709 --> 00:58:11,312 Now you're probably expecting a flashback to that movie, 1445 00:58:11,480 --> 00:58:13,819 but it's too obscure. Yeah, and the plot is weird. 1446 00:58:13,987 --> 00:58:16,181 You have sex with someone, give them a STD 1447 00:58:16,350 --> 00:58:17,487 and then it haunts them in the form 1448 00:58:17,656 --> 00:58:18,488 of their naked grandma. 1449 00:58:18,657 --> 00:58:20,789 It's like a STD biopic. 1450 00:58:20,958 --> 00:58:22,130 Ugh, the killer is taunting me. 1451 00:58:22,299 --> 00:58:23,691 Why doesn't he just kill us? 1452 00:58:23,860 --> 00:58:25,233 Uh, speak for yourself. 1453 00:58:25,435 --> 00:58:27,128 Like, what are you waiting for? 1454 00:58:27,297 --> 00:58:30,429 Oh, no, no, no, sweetie, sweetie. It's like this. 1455 00:58:31,738 --> 00:58:34,933 What are you waiting for, huh? 1456 00:58:35,102 --> 00:58:37,804 What are you waiting for? 1457 00:58:37,973 --> 00:58:40,510 What are you waiting for? 1458 00:58:40,679 --> 00:58:42,241 What are you waiting for? 1459 00:58:42,443 --> 00:58:43,975 God, I wish you weren't my mother! 1460 00:58:44,144 --> 00:58:46,755 What are you waiting for? 1461 00:58:46,957 --> 00:58:48,188 (GROANS) 1462 00:58:48,356 --> 00:58:49,349 SHORTY: Candyman. 1463 00:58:50,224 --> 00:58:51,483 Candyman. 1464 00:58:52,325 --> 00:58:53,991 Candyman. 1465 00:58:54,160 --> 00:58:57,192 You sure about this? FRIEND: Yeah, keep saying it. 1466 00:58:58,331 --> 00:58:59,491 Candyman. 1467 00:59:00,700 --> 00:59:02,669 Candyman! (GASPS) (BOOM) 1468 00:59:02,838 --> 00:59:05,166 (THUNDER RUMBLING) (SHORTY YELPS, WHIMPERS) 1469 00:59:05,335 --> 00:59:07,367 (THUNDER ROLLING) (ELECTRICITY BUZZES SOFTLY) 1470 00:59:14,248 --> 00:59:16,211 (WHIMPERS) 1471 00:59:19,721 --> 00:59:21,854 So what's up? You got that candy, man? 1472 00:59:22,757 --> 00:59:25,016 I got weed gummies. SHORTY: Yeah. 1473 00:59:25,185 --> 00:59:26,518 K-nuts. SHORTY: Yeah. 1474 00:59:26,686 --> 00:59:28,220 Shroom chocolates. SHORTY: (GIGGLES) Shit, son! 1475 00:59:28,389 --> 00:59:30,322 And what take you so long to show up? 1476 00:59:30,491 --> 00:59:33,266 Come on, Clarence. I called you five times. 1477 00:59:33,468 --> 00:59:34,898 Nigga, show up in three. 1478 00:59:35,067 --> 00:59:36,863 You ain't even call me on the phone. 1479 00:59:37,032 --> 00:59:38,398 Luckily I was walking by 1480 00:59:38,567 --> 00:59:40,542 and heard y'all through the hole in this wall. 1481 00:59:40,711 --> 00:59:43,273 And fix that shit. You shut your ass up. 1482 00:59:43,475 --> 00:59:45,975 You need to go to a proctologist and get your skin looked at. 1483 00:59:46,177 --> 00:59:49,310 Having acne over the age of 40 is wild work. 1484 00:59:49,512 --> 00:59:51,546 I look better than this nigga. Maybe on this side. 1485 00:59:51,715 --> 00:59:54,148 Hey, ain't no time for beefing. We about to be high as fuck. 1486 00:59:54,350 --> 00:59:56,423 We gonna party, son! (CACKLES, SCREAMS) 1487 00:59:56,592 --> 00:59:58,721 ("WORK" BY JAKOB CAMPBELL PLAYS) 1488 00:59:58,890 --> 01:00:00,820 ♪ Coming in hot They better watch it... ♪ Happy Halloween, y'all. 1489 01:00:01,022 --> 01:00:02,364 Watch out for Ghostface. ♪ If they come For my spot... ♪ 1490 01:00:02,532 --> 01:00:05,057 That's right. Drink up! GIRL: Hey! 1491 01:00:05,226 --> 01:00:07,926 Hey! I love it. Look at that. 1492 01:00:08,095 --> 01:00:09,401 You're looking good. 1493 01:00:09,569 --> 01:00:10,902 You seen your sister? 1494 01:00:11,071 --> 01:00:13,032 ♪ You always better ♪ (SIGHS) 1495 01:00:13,201 --> 01:00:15,302 ♪ When you at the top But I had... ♪ BRENDA: Ray, you seen Dei? 1496 01:00:15,504 --> 01:00:17,470 I-I can't find her since she went to that protest. 1497 01:00:18,148 --> 01:00:19,846 No. (SIGHS) 1498 01:00:21,081 --> 01:00:24,483 Ray, let me guess. You are Woody from Toy Story! 1499 01:00:24,652 --> 01:00:26,653 Nah, Brenda, that's gay. Oh. 1500 01:00:26,822 --> 01:00:29,647 Jake Gyllenhaal from Brokeback Mountain. 1501 01:00:29,816 --> 01:00:32,892 "I wish I knew how to quit you, but I can't." 1502 01:00:33,758 --> 01:00:35,921 You love that movie! 1503 01:00:36,090 --> 01:00:37,489 Hey, Brenda! Huh? 1504 01:00:37,691 --> 01:00:39,600 (STAMMERS) Have you seen my big old bag of candy? 1505 01:00:39,769 --> 01:00:42,737 It had chocolates, gummies, lollipops. 1506 01:00:43,405 --> 01:00:44,338 I-It's gone missing. 1507 01:00:44,540 --> 01:00:45,738 No, no, no, it's not missing. 1508 01:00:45,907 --> 01:00:47,673 I passed it out to the trick-or-treaters. 1509 01:00:47,842 --> 01:00:51,036 Brenda, that's my stash! (GASPS) 1510 01:00:51,239 --> 01:00:53,473 (DRAMATIC ROCK MUSIC PLAYS) 1511 01:01:00,455 --> 01:01:01,818 (CHILD LAUGHS) 1512 01:01:01,987 --> 01:01:05,661 (ECHOING) I'm so fucking high! 1513 01:01:08,725 --> 01:01:09,694 Whoo-hoo! 1514 01:01:09,896 --> 01:01:12,624 (ECHOING) I can't feel my face! 1515 01:01:14,901 --> 01:01:18,806 (ECHOING) I'm on that Naruto shit! 1516 01:01:19,675 --> 01:01:23,369 (ECHOING) Six-seven! Six-seven! 1517 01:01:23,538 --> 01:01:25,179 (ENGINE REVS, HORN HONKS) (SCREAMS) 1518 01:01:25,347 --> 01:01:27,148 (ECHOING SCREAM) 1519 01:01:27,316 --> 01:01:29,344 (TRAIN RUMBLING) 1520 01:01:45,202 --> 01:01:46,361 (SOFT GASP) 1521 01:01:48,701 --> 01:01:50,332 (WHISPERING) Fuck. 1522 01:01:54,237 --> 01:01:57,240 (FAINT, ECHOING CHILD'S VOICE) 1523 01:01:58,206 --> 01:01:59,581 Why is she looking at me? 1524 01:01:59,750 --> 01:02:01,178 ("STILL OUTSIDE" BY BIG BOSS VETTE PLAYS) 1525 01:02:01,380 --> 01:02:02,282 ♪ Fucking with a boss, yeah It costs ya ♪ 1526 01:02:02,484 --> 01:02:04,350 A little disturbing. 1527 01:02:04,518 --> 01:02:05,751 I'm here for it. 1528 01:02:05,953 --> 01:02:07,349 ♪ Yeah It's all there ♪ 1529 01:02:07,551 --> 01:02:08,489 ♪ Bend it over Touch your paws, yeah ♪ 1530 01:02:08,691 --> 01:02:09,419 ♪ Make it talk, yeah ♪ 1531 01:02:09,621 --> 01:02:10,955 Oh. Okay. 1532 01:02:11,157 --> 01:02:13,189 ♪ Make that ass jump Uh-huh ♪ 1533 01:02:13,358 --> 01:02:14,186 ♪ Make that ass jump ♪ Hey, hey! 1534 01:02:14,388 --> 01:02:15,697 ♪ You better ♪ 1535 01:02:15,899 --> 01:02:17,492 ♪ You better Make that ass jump ♪ 1536 01:02:17,694 --> 01:02:19,459 ♪ My nigga sleep so you know I'm outside tho ♪ 1537 01:02:19,661 --> 01:02:21,364 ♪ Jet skis ass out Crop top hoe-- ♪ 1538 01:02:21,533 --> 01:02:23,037 Hey! 1539 01:02:23,206 --> 01:02:26,599 Do you know how many baby seals die from microplastics? 1540 01:02:34,283 --> 01:02:35,140 Shit. 1541 01:02:35,342 --> 01:02:36,909 GHOSTFACE: It's Ghostface! 1542 01:02:37,078 --> 01:02:38,377 (GASPS) 1543 01:02:38,545 --> 01:02:40,349 (STABBING) (GRUNTS, YELPS) 1544 01:02:41,657 --> 01:02:43,283 Oh, my God! He stabbed her! 1545 01:02:43,485 --> 01:02:46,425 Not "her". My pronouns are "they/them". 1546 01:02:46,594 --> 01:02:48,227 He stabbed "them"! 1547 01:02:48,396 --> 01:02:50,958 I'm over 40. How am I supposed to keep up with all of this? 1548 01:02:51,161 --> 01:02:52,123 GHOSTFACE: She's not wrong. 1549 01:02:52,292 --> 01:02:53,926 It's Karens like you 1550 01:02:54,095 --> 01:02:57,428 that keep the patriarchy going, with their knees on our necks! 1551 01:02:57,597 --> 01:03:00,139 Now you're playing the race card? 1552 01:03:00,307 --> 01:03:02,910 I've had enough of her shit. "Their" shit, bitch! 1553 01:03:05,040 --> 01:03:05,807 (YELPS) 1554 01:03:05,975 --> 01:03:06,977 And to be clear, 1555 01:03:07,180 --> 01:03:09,716 my real name is Karen! (STABBING) 1556 01:03:09,885 --> 01:03:11,747 GHOSTFACE: Oh, shit. This is too good. 1557 01:03:11,916 --> 01:03:13,447 Ignore the insults. 1558 01:03:13,616 --> 01:03:15,652 "They" don't realize we're here to help "them". 1559 01:03:15,854 --> 01:03:17,383 Toxic masculinity 1560 01:03:17,552 --> 01:03:20,152 and mansplaining doesn't help anybody! 1561 01:03:20,355 --> 01:03:22,088 How is my masculinity toxic? 1562 01:03:22,257 --> 01:03:23,862 I love women and sports. 1563 01:03:24,064 --> 01:03:26,698 Just not together. Come here, bitch. 1564 01:03:26,900 --> 01:03:28,494 (STABS) MAN: My turn! 1565 01:03:28,663 --> 01:03:30,030 MAN 2: Me next! MAN 3: They ain't ready for 1566 01:03:30,232 --> 01:03:31,166 this! (WHIMPERS) 1567 01:03:31,334 --> 01:03:32,298 MAN 4: Let me at them! Me next! 1568 01:03:32,467 --> 01:03:33,264 Fuck your pronouns. Oh, shit. 1569 01:03:33,433 --> 01:03:34,704 Suck knife. (GRUNTS) 1570 01:03:34,906 --> 01:03:36,969 (AGONIZED MOAN) 1571 01:03:37,138 --> 01:03:38,174 (THUDS) 1572 01:03:38,376 --> 01:03:40,045 GHOSTFACE: I blame the manosphere. 1573 01:03:40,247 --> 01:03:41,449 ♪ Hit the bar Rock side-to-side ♪ 1574 01:03:41,652 --> 01:03:43,347 ♪ And lean in a bit ♪ 1575 01:03:43,550 --> 01:03:44,651 ♪ Shining like a star 'Cause every night... ♪ 1576 01:03:44,820 --> 01:03:46,651 Uncle Shorty. What's up, nephew? 1577 01:03:46,820 --> 01:03:48,417 Can I ask you something? 1578 01:03:48,952 --> 01:03:50,188 Yeah, shoot. 1579 01:03:51,253 --> 01:03:53,119 It's about, y-you know 1580 01:03:53,288 --> 01:03:54,852 how to go down on a girl. 1581 01:03:55,655 --> 01:03:56,727 You talking about eating pussy? 1582 01:03:56,930 --> 01:03:59,497 That's so cringe, but yeah. 1583 01:03:59,666 --> 01:04:02,469 Well, maybe if you stop talking like a 14-year-old white girl 1584 01:04:02,638 --> 01:04:04,130 you could learn something. 1585 01:04:04,299 --> 01:04:05,563 All right, so listen up. 1586 01:04:05,765 --> 01:04:07,139 First thing you got to do, you got to-- 1587 01:04:07,307 --> 01:04:08,874 You got to spread them legs. You got to open it up. 1588 01:04:09,042 --> 01:04:10,638 Then you want to use your fingers. 1589 01:04:10,807 --> 01:04:13,609 Sometimes you can use two. Two fingers, like that there. 1590 01:04:13,778 --> 01:04:14,947 Yeah? 1591 01:04:15,116 --> 01:04:16,808 Now, once you get it all in there, now... 1592 01:04:17,621 --> 01:04:18,947 you got to use your tongue. 1593 01:04:19,116 --> 01:04:20,354 You can't be afraid of it. 1594 01:04:20,523 --> 01:04:23,522 (MOANING, GRUNTING) 1595 01:04:23,691 --> 01:04:25,188 Yeah, lean into it. 1596 01:04:25,357 --> 01:04:26,721 Nah, nah, nah, you doing it too fast. 1597 01:04:26,890 --> 01:04:28,056 (GABBLES) 1598 01:04:28,225 --> 01:04:29,490 What are you, a lizard? 1599 01:04:29,659 --> 01:04:31,432 You got to be gentle. You got to talk to it. 1600 01:04:31,635 --> 01:04:33,000 "Hey there, little guy, 1601 01:04:33,168 --> 01:04:34,826 how you doing?" (SOFTLY) Hey there, little guy. 1602 01:04:35,772 --> 01:04:38,198 Boom! Just like rolling a blunt. 1603 01:04:38,367 --> 01:04:40,238 All you got to do, nephew... 1604 01:04:43,846 --> 01:04:45,375 (BREATHLESSLY) Is hit that shit. 1605 01:04:46,043 --> 01:04:47,413 Got it? Mm-hmm. 1606 01:04:47,615 --> 01:04:48,916 All right, now 1607 01:04:49,118 --> 01:04:52,553 if you want to learn to lick ass, ask your mama. 1608 01:04:52,722 --> 01:04:54,752 (ELLE MOANING) (LOUD KISSING) 1609 01:04:54,954 --> 01:04:57,455 ELLE: You feel so good. 1610 01:04:57,657 --> 01:04:58,852 (MOANING) 1611 01:04:59,021 --> 01:05:00,095 Oh, yeah. 1612 01:05:00,264 --> 01:05:01,792 Elle. 1613 01:05:01,994 --> 01:05:03,392 I want to try something. 1614 01:05:03,561 --> 01:05:05,630 I-I thought you said you'd never let me peg you. 1615 01:05:05,832 --> 01:05:07,366 What? No. (SCOFFS) 1616 01:05:07,535 --> 01:05:08,898 Relax. 1617 01:05:09,067 --> 01:05:10,534 I just want to taste you. 1618 01:05:10,703 --> 01:05:12,369 (CHUCKLES) 1619 01:05:13,167 --> 01:05:14,375 Okay. 1620 01:05:14,544 --> 01:05:15,675 (BELL TINKLES) 1621 01:05:15,844 --> 01:05:17,401 Dinner time. (CHUCKLES) 1622 01:05:17,570 --> 01:05:20,080 Oh, yeah, come here, baby. 1623 01:05:21,179 --> 01:05:22,916 (MOANING) (BRAD MOANING) 1624 01:05:23,085 --> 01:05:25,244 Careful. My kitty is gangster. (SLAP) 1625 01:05:25,412 --> 01:05:27,114 Oh! (CHUCKLING) Oh... 1626 01:05:27,282 --> 01:05:29,418 It is gangster. Okay. 1627 01:05:29,587 --> 01:05:32,226 Slapped you so hard, you want some more. Yeah! 1628 01:05:32,395 --> 01:05:34,155 (GASPING) 1629 01:05:34,358 --> 01:05:35,954 (ELLE MOANS) (GRUNTS, GABBLES) 1630 01:05:36,123 --> 01:05:37,427 Oh! 1631 01:05:37,596 --> 01:05:40,325 You feel so much better than Darrel and them. 1632 01:05:40,527 --> 01:05:41,501 Choo-choo! (GRUNTING) 1633 01:05:41,703 --> 01:05:42,635 Get back in there! 1634 01:05:42,838 --> 01:05:44,066 Yeah! Lick it! (SLURPING) 1635 01:05:44,235 --> 01:05:46,471 (ROARING) Yeah! Lick it hard! 1636 01:05:46,673 --> 01:05:47,574 (GRUNTS) 1637 01:05:47,743 --> 01:05:48,935 (DEEP VOICE) Finish her. 1638 01:05:49,104 --> 01:05:50,568 (MOANING) 1639 01:05:50,737 --> 01:05:53,876 Oh, my God! (SLURPING, GABBLING) 1640 01:05:54,045 --> 01:05:56,110 (BOTH PANTING) 1641 01:05:56,279 --> 01:05:57,879 Just like rolling a blunt. 1642 01:05:58,048 --> 01:05:58,917 (ELLE MOANS) 1643 01:05:59,086 --> 01:06:01,022 Now all I got to do is hit it. 1644 01:06:02,252 --> 01:06:03,422 (SIZZLES) (SCREAMS) 1645 01:06:03,591 --> 01:06:05,151 Oh-- Oof! 1646 01:06:05,320 --> 01:06:06,621 Elle! (KNOCKING) 1647 01:06:08,961 --> 01:06:10,261 What the fuck? 1648 01:06:10,430 --> 01:06:12,924 Hey there. We heard tell of a Halloween party. 1649 01:06:13,559 --> 01:06:14,765 You did now, did you? 1650 01:06:14,934 --> 01:06:16,069 We're here to drink, 1651 01:06:16,238 --> 01:06:18,435 play bad music, do some half gay shit. 1652 01:06:19,235 --> 01:06:20,470 Why just half gay? 1653 01:06:21,269 --> 01:06:22,136 Can I help you? 1654 01:06:22,305 --> 01:06:24,402 If you just invite us in. 1655 01:06:24,571 --> 01:06:25,979 Why you need a invitation? 1656 01:06:26,148 --> 01:06:27,742 White folks show up to parties uninvited 1657 01:06:27,911 --> 01:06:30,217 all the time with their little nasty-ass casseroles. 1658 01:06:30,419 --> 01:06:32,613 Bland as shit. Y'all better start using some Lawry's. 1659 01:06:32,782 --> 01:06:35,012 Mm-hmm. And why she got them dirty-ass feet? 1660 01:06:35,181 --> 01:06:37,888 Look like you was walking around porn sets all day. 1661 01:06:38,091 --> 01:06:39,185 Got them trailer park toes. 1662 01:06:39,354 --> 01:06:40,962 (GIGGLES) Shit, son! 1663 01:06:41,131 --> 01:06:43,658 I think you're in the wrong place. Y'all Klan? 1664 01:06:44,766 --> 01:06:45,800 No. (CHUCKLES) 1665 01:06:45,968 --> 01:06:48,668 We believe in music and equality. 1666 01:06:48,837 --> 01:06:50,036 How about we show y'all? 1667 01:06:50,238 --> 01:06:52,229 It's okay, no. (GENTLE COUNTRY MUSIC) 1668 01:06:52,432 --> 01:06:54,604 ♪ Well, we're movin' on up ♪ ♪ Movin' on up ♪ 1669 01:06:54,806 --> 01:06:58,311 ♪ To the East Side ♪ ♪ Movin' on up ♪ 1670 01:06:58,514 --> 01:07:00,510 ♪ To a deluxe apartment ♪ ♪ Ooh ♪ 1671 01:07:00,712 --> 01:07:02,750 ♪ In the sky ♪ ♪ Ooh ♪ 1672 01:07:02,952 --> 01:07:04,411 ♪ We're movin' on up ♪ 1673 01:07:04,613 --> 01:07:06,417 They gentrified the Jeffersons? 1674 01:07:06,619 --> 01:07:08,583 Weezy's rolling around in her grave right now. 1675 01:07:08,785 --> 01:07:11,522 You can't do this to the Black National Anthem. 1676 01:07:11,725 --> 01:07:15,723 ♪ We finally got A piece of the pie! ♪ 1677 01:07:17,425 --> 01:07:18,863 (SIGHS) (PANTS) 1678 01:07:19,032 --> 01:07:20,393 BOTH: Boo! (YELPING) 1679 01:07:20,596 --> 01:07:22,335 Nigga, you suck! Boo your ass! 1680 01:07:22,504 --> 01:07:24,498 We worked hard on this! Take that bullshit out of here! 1681 01:07:24,667 --> 01:07:26,073 We ain't got time for that dumb shit! 1682 01:07:26,275 --> 01:07:27,975 Why won't ya just go to one of those frat parties 1683 01:07:28,144 --> 01:07:29,636 where they drink until they black out 1684 01:07:29,805 --> 01:07:31,211 and wake up with their booties hurting, 1685 01:07:31,380 --> 01:07:33,446 not knowing what someone in a cowboy hat did to them? 1686 01:07:33,649 --> 01:07:34,777 Yeah! What? 1687 01:07:34,980 --> 01:07:36,081 JACK: Okay. 1688 01:07:36,250 --> 01:07:38,016 Well, we will leave you guys alone. 1689 01:07:38,185 --> 01:07:39,381 But we're gonna walk real slow 1690 01:07:39,550 --> 01:07:41,887 just in case y'all change your minds. 1691 01:07:42,056 --> 01:07:42,915 (CLEARS THROAT, SNIFFS) 1692 01:07:44,192 --> 01:07:45,923 Change your minds yet? BOTH: No. 1693 01:07:46,092 --> 01:07:47,022 Not at all. Hell no. 1694 01:07:47,191 --> 01:07:48,386 How about now? 1695 01:07:48,554 --> 01:07:50,191 Fuck no! No! 1696 01:07:50,360 --> 01:07:51,359 Yes? Hell to the nah. 1697 01:07:51,528 --> 01:07:52,691 Definitely not! Keep walking! 1698 01:07:52,860 --> 01:07:54,033 RAY: Now git! SARA: Let's go. 1699 01:07:54,202 --> 01:07:55,365 TUESDAY: Sara, come on! White folks 1700 01:07:55,534 --> 01:07:57,369 is getting weird again. (BRENDA GROANS) 1701 01:07:59,803 --> 01:08:02,103 Guys, I think I saw an open window over here. 1702 01:08:02,305 --> 01:08:03,367 That window's closed. 1703 01:08:03,536 --> 01:08:05,078 Not for long. 1704 01:08:05,247 --> 01:08:09,110 (VOCALIZES "DEFYING GRAVITY" FROM "WICKED") 1705 01:08:09,278 --> 01:08:11,111 (GLASS SHATTERS) 1706 01:08:11,280 --> 01:08:12,312 Wicked. 1707 01:08:12,514 --> 01:08:13,812 Oh, God. Fucking idiots. 1708 01:08:14,014 --> 01:08:15,219 ("BAD TO THE BONE" BY RUBY X PAPATINHO PLAYS) 1709 01:08:15,421 --> 01:08:17,356 ♪ Bad, bad, bad to the bone ♪ 1710 01:08:17,558 --> 01:08:19,322 ♪ We can play But you can't take me home ♪ 1711 01:08:19,524 --> 01:08:20,793 ♪ Bad, bad shows off the... ♪ 1712 01:08:20,996 --> 01:08:24,962 Hey! Tuesday! You came back! 1713 01:08:25,164 --> 01:08:27,096 Yeah, I left my inhaler. 1714 01:08:27,264 --> 01:08:30,102 Honestly, Tuesday, that inhaler is the worst plot device in movie history. 1715 01:08:30,270 --> 01:08:31,798 That's true, should've been a vape. 1716 01:08:32,000 --> 01:08:34,402 But we're here now, so let's make the most of it. 1717 01:08:34,571 --> 01:08:36,735 Now where them White Claws at? 1718 01:08:36,904 --> 01:08:38,608 (SHRIEKS, WHOOPS) (PHONE RINGING) 1719 01:08:41,642 --> 01:08:43,351 CINDY: Sara? Hello. 1720 01:08:43,553 --> 01:08:46,821 Get your sister and get out of there right now. Okay, hon? 1721 01:08:46,990 --> 01:08:49,683 I am a grown-ass woman, Mother. 1722 01:08:49,886 --> 01:08:51,655 I don't have to do anything you tell me to do. 1723 01:08:51,823 --> 01:08:53,628 That's the house where your psycho father 1724 01:08:53,797 --> 01:08:54,963 killed those people. 1725 01:08:55,132 --> 01:08:56,421 Someone wanted to get you there. 1726 01:08:56,590 --> 01:08:58,426 Which means... 1727 01:08:58,595 --> 01:09:01,133 someone wants to get me there. 1728 01:09:01,301 --> 01:09:02,835 Oh, my God, this isn't about you! 1729 01:09:03,004 --> 01:09:04,302 Why are you yelling? 1730 01:09:04,471 --> 01:09:07,305 Because the camera's so fucking far away! 1731 01:09:07,474 --> 01:09:10,341 Wait, hold on. Are you tracking my phone? 1732 01:09:10,543 --> 01:09:11,471 (IMITATES STATIC) You're breaking up. 1733 01:09:11,640 --> 01:09:12,741 Uh-- Yeah. (IMITATES STATIC) 1734 01:09:15,652 --> 01:09:16,844 (ENGINE REVS) 1735 01:09:17,977 --> 01:09:20,616 (ENGINE REVS) Happy Birthday! 1736 01:09:20,785 --> 01:09:23,983 (TIRES SQUEAL, ENGINE ROARS) Hey, that's my car! 1737 01:09:27,323 --> 01:09:28,792 What the fuck? 1738 01:09:28,961 --> 01:09:30,330 Elle! 1739 01:09:31,260 --> 01:09:32,494 I'm sorry! 1740 01:09:32,663 --> 01:09:34,994 I thought I was supposed to smoke it. 1741 01:09:35,770 --> 01:09:36,869 Oh, shit. 1742 01:09:37,038 --> 01:09:39,207 (WHIP CRACKS) (GRUNTS) 1743 01:09:40,838 --> 01:09:43,169 Seriously? With the 12 Years a Slave shit? 1744 01:09:43,338 --> 01:09:46,247 GHOSTFACE: Whoa, whoa, whoa. I didn't see that movie, okay? 1745 01:09:46,449 --> 01:09:48,975 I just found this thing in the shed. Jesus. 1746 01:09:55,351 --> 01:09:56,855 Come on, bro! 1747 01:09:57,024 --> 01:09:58,259 That's even worse. 1748 01:09:59,461 --> 01:10:01,688 GHOSTFACE: (GROANS) I didn't mean it that way. 1749 01:10:01,856 --> 01:10:03,825 Some of my best victims are Black. 1750 01:10:06,900 --> 01:10:10,063 (SCOFFS) And another brother falls victim to gun violence. 1751 01:10:10,966 --> 01:10:13,236 Turns out race is still an issue. 1752 01:10:13,438 --> 01:10:14,903 GHOSTFACE: That's not fair! 1753 01:10:15,105 --> 01:10:17,074 You know, Black guys usually die first in horror movies. 1754 01:10:17,276 --> 01:10:19,478 (CAMERA CLICKS, WHIRS) 1755 01:10:20,511 --> 01:10:21,909 SHORTY: Damn! 1756 01:10:22,111 --> 01:10:24,377 This give whole new meaning to Dead By Daylight. 1757 01:10:24,546 --> 01:10:26,413 (GIGGLES) Yeah. 1758 01:10:26,616 --> 01:10:29,416 Oh. Get them, son. (GRUNTS) 1759 01:10:29,618 --> 01:10:31,888 Goofy ass out of here. 1760 01:10:32,057 --> 01:10:33,186 (GRUNTS) 1761 01:10:33,355 --> 01:10:34,520 (GIGGLES) 1762 01:10:34,689 --> 01:10:36,324 GHOSTFACE: Hello, Shorty. 1763 01:10:36,493 --> 01:10:38,656 Cuckoo! Get him, niggas! 1764 01:10:38,825 --> 01:10:40,191 (AIRHORN) (CACKLES) 1765 01:10:40,359 --> 01:10:44,471 Got your silly ass! You about to be high as fuck. 1766 01:10:44,673 --> 01:10:46,733 ♪ Party ♪ ♪ Aw, yeah, aw, yeah ♪ 1767 01:10:46,935 --> 01:10:47,774 ♪ Ain't nobody standing... ♪ 1768 01:10:47,942 --> 01:10:48,699 (COUGHS) Nigga! 1769 01:10:48,868 --> 01:10:53,212 (ECHOING) Ah, shit, son! 1770 01:10:53,381 --> 01:10:55,577 Bro, why you running backwards, son? 1771 01:10:55,746 --> 01:10:57,247 GHOSTFACE: I don't know. It's not me. 1772 01:10:57,416 --> 01:10:58,449 Something's wrong with this. 1773 01:10:58,618 --> 01:11:00,120 Nigga, your remote is upside-down! 1774 01:11:00,289 --> 01:11:02,421 You're fucking high, son. (GIGGLES) 1775 01:11:02,590 --> 01:11:03,955 GHOSTFACE: Game on, bitches! SHORTY: Yeah. 1776 01:11:04,124 --> 01:11:05,293 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1777 01:11:05,926 --> 01:11:07,562 (SCREAMS) 1778 01:11:07,731 --> 01:11:08,593 (YELPS) 1779 01:11:09,426 --> 01:11:10,761 Oh! Wrong nigga. 1780 01:11:10,929 --> 01:11:12,392 (SARA WHIMPERING) GHOSTFACE: Black Lives Matter! 1781 01:11:12,560 --> 01:11:13,932 Not you, Shorty! 1782 01:11:14,101 --> 01:11:15,135 Oh, my-- I need you. 1783 01:11:15,337 --> 01:11:17,063 Whoa, what is going on? Oh, Jack! 1784 01:11:17,231 --> 01:11:19,730 Oh, thank God you're here! Where were you? 1785 01:11:19,899 --> 01:11:21,274 Ghostface was just here! 1786 01:11:21,443 --> 01:11:23,610 I was just outside getting some fresh air. 1787 01:11:23,779 --> 01:11:24,774 Stop! 1788 01:11:25,740 --> 01:11:28,074 One of you is the killer. 1789 01:11:28,685 --> 01:11:29,713 Elle... 1790 01:11:30,715 --> 01:11:32,210 why do you have blood on your hands? 1791 01:11:33,717 --> 01:11:36,086 (STAMMERS) I found Brad outside. 1792 01:11:36,255 --> 01:11:37,550 She's the killer! 1793 01:11:37,719 --> 01:11:39,787 I am not the killer, okay? 1794 01:11:39,956 --> 01:11:42,696 I'm not even sex positive. I'm a virgin. 1795 01:11:42,898 --> 01:11:44,265 (SCOFFS) No way. 1796 01:11:44,434 --> 01:11:45,698 You've banged, like, every dude in Woodsville. 1797 01:11:45,900 --> 01:11:47,628 Fuck you! 1798 01:11:47,797 --> 01:11:49,299 Whoa! (PANTS) (SCREAMS, GASPS) 1799 01:11:49,468 --> 01:11:52,169 The butt doesn't count. 1800 01:11:52,338 --> 01:11:54,039 Oh! (SCREAMING) 1801 01:11:54,241 --> 01:11:55,206 Shit, she shot Ashton! 1802 01:11:55,409 --> 01:11:58,973 Welcome to Act Three, bitches. 1803 01:12:00,475 --> 01:12:01,349 What? 1804 01:12:02,480 --> 01:12:04,110 What does that even mean? 1805 01:12:05,088 --> 01:12:07,016 It's when the shit goes down. 1806 01:12:07,185 --> 01:12:08,486 Oh. 1807 01:12:08,655 --> 01:12:09,783 I still don't really know what she means, 1808 01:12:09,951 --> 01:12:12,057 but I think we should run! Run! 1809 01:12:12,259 --> 01:12:14,087 (PARTYGOERS SCREAMING) 1810 01:12:25,436 --> 01:12:26,473 (GIRL SCREAMS) 1811 01:12:27,909 --> 01:12:28,767 Cindy! 1812 01:12:28,936 --> 01:12:30,506 (TEENS SCREAMING) Brenda. 1813 01:12:30,675 --> 01:12:32,310 Cindy, they in there shooting! 1814 01:12:32,479 --> 01:12:33,941 These kids are wild! (GUNSHOTS) 1815 01:12:34,110 --> 01:12:35,779 (ALL SCREAMING) I blame it on video games, 1816 01:12:35,947 --> 01:12:38,383 not the liquor or lack of parental supervision. 1817 01:12:38,585 --> 01:12:39,713 You're gonna need this. Oh. 1818 01:12:39,915 --> 01:12:41,987 Do you have one bigger in black? 1819 01:12:42,156 --> 01:12:43,820 Oh, wrong bag. 1820 01:12:44,861 --> 01:12:45,585 Here. Ooh. 1821 01:12:45,787 --> 01:12:47,484 Who are you, Joan Wick? 1822 01:12:47,653 --> 01:12:50,189 I would've said Ballerina, but nobody saw that shit. 1823 01:12:51,197 --> 01:12:52,063 Let's do this. 1824 01:12:52,231 --> 01:12:53,525 (SIGHING) Okay. 1825 01:12:53,694 --> 01:12:55,326 (ELLE WAILS) 1826 01:12:56,401 --> 01:12:58,536 Help! He stabbed me! 1827 01:12:58,705 --> 01:13:01,369 I'm definitely not faking it. Please, help! 1828 01:13:01,538 --> 01:13:02,608 What do you think? 1829 01:13:03,543 --> 01:13:05,008 I think Drake lost to Kendrick. 1830 01:13:05,177 --> 01:13:08,180 I still like Drake, but what was up with that lawsuit? 1831 01:13:08,349 --> 01:13:10,049 That's such a bitch-ass move. 1832 01:13:10,217 --> 01:13:12,450 About this situation. 1833 01:13:12,652 --> 01:13:14,278 Oh, that? That's definitely a trap. 1834 01:13:14,480 --> 01:13:16,220 She don't know we already been here, done that. 1835 01:13:16,388 --> 01:13:17,418 (SQUELCH) (GASPS) 1836 01:13:17,620 --> 01:13:19,486 Brenda! (MOANS) 1837 01:13:19,655 --> 01:13:20,688 Brenda! (GASPS) 1838 01:13:20,857 --> 01:13:23,255 Cindy! It hurts! (GUNSHOTS) 1839 01:13:24,300 --> 01:13:26,593 Am I gonna make it? I doubt it. 1840 01:13:26,795 --> 01:13:29,497 Oh, God, Cindy. Oh, God. 1841 01:13:29,666 --> 01:13:31,597 Bitch, I'm not dead yet! 1842 01:13:31,799 --> 01:13:33,933 Oh. My bad. I'm sorry. 1843 01:13:34,135 --> 01:13:37,877 Now you go back in there and finish it. 1844 01:13:38,046 --> 01:13:39,103 For me, Cindy. 1845 01:13:39,305 --> 01:13:41,608 I would do anything for you, Brenda. 1846 01:13:41,810 --> 01:13:42,945 (SIGHS) (WHIMPERS) 1847 01:13:46,247 --> 01:13:49,049 (GIGGLES) Oh, yes! She bought it. 1848 01:13:49,218 --> 01:13:51,818 That old ketchup trick, it don't fail. 1849 01:13:52,020 --> 01:13:53,261 That bitch is crazy if she thought 1850 01:13:53,430 --> 01:13:55,663 I was taking my Black ass back in there. 1851 01:13:55,865 --> 01:13:56,728 (GRUNTS) 1852 01:13:59,398 --> 01:14:00,732 Attention all killers! 1853 01:14:01,768 --> 01:14:05,000 You have five seconds to show yourselves. 1854 01:14:17,384 --> 01:14:18,147 (MAN YELPS) Shorty! 1855 01:14:18,349 --> 01:14:19,778 Bitch! 1856 01:14:19,947 --> 01:14:21,979 You shot my favorite bong. 1857 01:14:22,181 --> 01:14:24,285 Go find your own damn closet! 1858 01:14:24,454 --> 01:14:25,592 Sorry. 1859 01:14:32,463 --> 01:14:34,730 (PHONE RINGS) 1860 01:14:34,899 --> 01:14:36,768 GHOSTFACE: Hello, Cindy. 1861 01:14:37,566 --> 01:14:38,768 Hello. 1862 01:14:38,937 --> 01:14:40,132 GHOSTFACE: Looks like you forgot 1863 01:14:40,301 --> 01:14:42,834 the first rule of surviving a horror movie. 1864 01:14:43,037 --> 01:14:45,569 Never answer the phone! 1865 01:14:46,872 --> 01:14:50,144 I thought the first rule was never trust the love interest. 1866 01:14:51,484 --> 01:14:52,849 GHOSTFACE: Oh, really? 1867 01:14:53,018 --> 01:14:55,017 Well, I'm changing the rules. How about that? 1868 01:14:55,852 --> 01:14:59,059 New rule: Go fuck yourself. 1869 01:14:59,261 --> 01:15:00,192 GHOSTFACE: Wait, wait! 1870 01:15:00,360 --> 01:15:01,693 (HIGH-PITCHED SCREAM) 1871 01:15:01,862 --> 01:15:04,229 (PAINED WHINE) Why do you hate closets so much? 1872 01:15:04,432 --> 01:15:05,893 I told you to come out. 1873 01:15:06,095 --> 01:15:07,968 Yeah, well, I didn't want to get shot! 1874 01:15:08,137 --> 01:15:09,637 Ironic, isn't it? 1875 01:15:10,640 --> 01:15:12,633 GHOSTFACE: You missed me, bitch. (GRUNTS) 1876 01:15:12,802 --> 01:15:14,503 Oh, God, it's Ghostface! 1877 01:15:14,672 --> 01:15:15,633 Didn't sound believable. 1878 01:15:15,802 --> 01:15:16,676 (GRUNTS) 1879 01:15:17,645 --> 01:15:18,707 GHOSTFACE: You think you're John Wick, 1880 01:15:18,876 --> 01:15:20,145 acting like I killed your dog? 1881 01:15:20,314 --> 01:15:22,715 (BOTH GRUNTING) 1882 01:15:24,186 --> 01:15:25,350 (GHOSTFACE GRUNTS) 1883 01:15:25,519 --> 01:15:27,319 The dog is just a metaphor. 1884 01:15:27,488 --> 01:15:29,215 It was about losing his wife! 1885 01:15:29,417 --> 01:15:31,317 GHOSTFACE: You sure it's not an allegory? (GROANS) 1886 01:15:42,368 --> 01:15:43,664 Let us begin. 1887 01:15:43,832 --> 01:15:45,672 (YELLS) (GRUNTING) 1888 01:15:47,837 --> 01:15:48,702 (YELLS) (GRUNTS) 1889 01:15:48,870 --> 01:15:51,238 (CINDY YELLS, GRUNTS) 1890 01:15:52,909 --> 01:15:54,274 (CASING CLINKS) Oh. 1891 01:15:54,975 --> 01:15:57,013 (BOTH GRUNTING) 1892 01:16:01,487 --> 01:16:02,590 (BOTH GRUNTING) 1893 01:16:04,756 --> 01:16:06,957 Oh, that stunt girl is good. 1894 01:16:10,089 --> 01:16:11,764 (BOTH GRUNTING) 1895 01:16:13,501 --> 01:16:15,295 (GHOSTFACE GRUNTS) (CLICKING) 1896 01:16:19,901 --> 01:16:21,939 (BOTH GRUNTING) 1897 01:16:23,903 --> 01:16:24,704 Whoa. 1898 01:16:24,873 --> 01:16:26,779 (BOTH GRUNTING) 1899 01:16:28,150 --> 01:16:29,348 (CINDY GRUNTING) 1900 01:16:29,517 --> 01:16:31,443 GHOSTFACE: Oh, oh-- (GRUNTS) 1901 01:16:32,516 --> 01:16:33,582 (GRUNTS) 1902 01:16:33,750 --> 01:16:35,618 (GASPING, SHUDDERING) 1903 01:16:35,820 --> 01:16:37,416 (GRUNTS, SIGHS) (POP) 1904 01:16:38,821 --> 01:16:39,620 (CINDY GRUNTS) 1905 01:16:39,822 --> 01:16:41,929 (BOTH GRUNTING) 1906 01:16:42,098 --> 01:16:42,964 (CINDY YELLS) 1907 01:16:43,166 --> 01:16:44,093 (GHOSTFACE GRUNTS) 1908 01:16:45,025 --> 01:16:46,934 (GHOSTFACE CHOKING) 1909 01:16:47,103 --> 01:16:48,427 Eat a dick. 1910 01:16:49,501 --> 01:16:50,964 (SIGHS) 1911 01:16:51,166 --> 01:16:52,633 (SIGHS) (GHOSTFACE GRUNTS) 1912 01:16:52,835 --> 01:16:54,765 (GHOSTFACE GROANING) 1913 01:16:54,934 --> 01:16:56,571 (PANTING) 1914 01:16:56,740 --> 01:16:58,772 (SARA GASPS, PANTS) 1915 01:16:58,941 --> 01:17:00,939 Shoot him, Sara. End this. 1916 01:17:01,108 --> 01:17:02,776 Don't tell me what to do! 1917 01:17:02,945 --> 01:17:04,451 This isn't the best time 1918 01:17:04,620 --> 01:17:06,744 to resolve our mommy-daughter issues, 1919 01:17:06,913 --> 01:17:11,285 but Sara, I am so sorry. I have been a terrible mother. 1920 01:17:11,453 --> 01:17:13,785 I don't even know your sister Wednesday-- 1921 01:17:13,954 --> 01:17:15,154 Oh, Tuesday. 1922 01:17:15,323 --> 01:17:18,288 Have to clarify that for legal reasons. 1923 01:17:18,457 --> 01:17:19,700 But I've prepared you for this. 1924 01:17:20,467 --> 01:17:21,861 So go on, baby. 1925 01:17:22,064 --> 01:17:23,665 You kill him. (EXHALES) 1926 01:17:23,833 --> 01:17:25,139 JACK: Sara? Jack! 1927 01:17:25,307 --> 01:17:26,603 Sara! SARA: Jack! 1928 01:17:26,772 --> 01:17:28,142 JACK: Sara! SARA: Oh, Jack! 1929 01:17:28,310 --> 01:17:29,275 JACK: Sara! Jack! 1930 01:17:29,443 --> 01:17:30,276 Sara! SARA: Jack! 1931 01:17:30,444 --> 01:17:31,343 Sara! SARA: Jack! 1932 01:17:31,546 --> 01:17:32,411 JACK: Thank God you're okay. 1933 01:17:32,580 --> 01:17:33,512 Because I really wanted to be 1934 01:17:33,714 --> 01:17:34,612 the one to kill you! (SCREAMS) 1935 01:17:34,781 --> 01:17:36,248 (GASPS) Ooh, take it, baby. 1936 01:17:36,417 --> 01:17:37,584 (SARA GROANING) 1937 01:17:37,753 --> 01:17:40,285 (GASPS) See, I told you it was about me. 1938 01:17:40,454 --> 01:17:42,184 ELLE: No, Sara. 1939 01:17:43,624 --> 01:17:45,187 You were just the bait. 1940 01:17:45,788 --> 01:17:47,123 It's about her. 1941 01:17:47,791 --> 01:17:48,825 Fuck! CINDY: Aw. 1942 01:17:48,993 --> 01:17:51,256 Sorry, honey. I hate being right. 1943 01:17:51,425 --> 01:17:53,366 JACK: You should've listened to Doofy. 1944 01:17:53,569 --> 01:17:55,636 (WHISPERING) The love interest. 1945 01:17:55,805 --> 01:17:58,065 It just seemed too obvious, you know? 1946 01:17:58,268 --> 01:18:00,734 Which makes you think it is not obvious. 1947 01:18:00,936 --> 01:18:01,669 Same page, honeybunch. 1948 01:18:01,838 --> 01:18:02,804 Right. (MOCKING) 1949 01:18:02,973 --> 01:18:04,574 Yeah, well, that's the twist! 1950 01:18:04,777 --> 01:18:06,070 Now get in the kitchen. Go! 1951 01:18:06,272 --> 01:18:07,578 Hey! (GRUNTS) Move! 1952 01:18:07,780 --> 01:18:10,078 Okay, listen up! (SARA GASPS) 1953 01:18:10,281 --> 01:18:13,351 See, there hasn't been a great Horror Movie 1954 01:18:13,520 --> 01:18:15,220 since the first one. 1955 01:18:15,389 --> 01:18:18,586 We're gonna save the franchise. Go get our special guest star. 1956 01:18:18,788 --> 01:18:20,024 (GIGGLES SOFTLY) 1957 01:18:20,727 --> 01:18:23,256 Hollywood is out of ideas! 1958 01:18:23,458 --> 01:18:25,922 Why else would there be a Scary Movie 6? 1959 01:18:26,125 --> 01:18:28,525 But it wouldn't work with just the new characters, would it? 1960 01:18:28,694 --> 01:18:31,162 We need the legacy characters. Oh-- 1961 01:18:31,331 --> 01:18:32,903 And there wouldn't be a Cindy 1962 01:18:33,105 --> 01:18:36,636 without her sassy Black sidekick, Brenda. 1963 01:18:36,805 --> 01:18:39,906 You ain't have to say "Black" with no hard "b" like that. 1964 01:18:40,109 --> 01:18:42,475 Brenda! Didn't you get shot? 1965 01:18:43,284 --> 01:18:44,708 Did I? 1966 01:18:44,877 --> 01:18:48,518 Oh! Wait, I did! Ooh, look, God done healed me! 1967 01:18:48,686 --> 01:18:50,214 Ooh, what He do? 1968 01:18:50,383 --> 01:18:51,591 Stop dancing! All the time! 1969 01:18:51,793 --> 01:18:53,093 Stop dancing! Everybody stop dancing! 1970 01:18:53,295 --> 01:18:54,185 All the time! 1971 01:18:54,354 --> 01:18:55,360 Oh! (GASP) (KNIFE WITHDRAWS) 1972 01:18:55,528 --> 01:18:57,926 Oh. Mom! No! 1973 01:18:58,095 --> 01:19:00,427 (PANTING) You called me "Mom". 1974 01:19:01,700 --> 01:19:03,230 You care about me. 1975 01:19:03,399 --> 01:19:05,534 Well, I wouldn't go that far, but, I mean, 1976 01:19:05,703 --> 01:19:06,437 sure. Go-- 1977 01:19:06,605 --> 01:19:07,536 Go get Tuesday. 1978 01:19:07,705 --> 01:19:09,202 Okay, ladies, 1979 01:19:09,371 --> 01:19:11,468 (SING-SONGY) time to stage the bodies. 1980 01:19:11,670 --> 01:19:13,943 Let's go, let's go, let's go. Oh! 1981 01:19:14,112 --> 01:19:15,876 (CINDY GASPS) Please don't do this! 1982 01:19:16,045 --> 01:19:17,376 What? Who are you people? 1983 01:19:17,545 --> 01:19:18,651 GHOSTFACE: We're the motherfuckers 1984 01:19:18,853 --> 01:19:21,221 that are taking over this franchise. 1985 01:19:21,390 --> 01:19:22,288 Oh, yeah? You are? 1986 01:19:22,457 --> 01:19:24,550 Okay! Oh, my God. 1987 01:19:24,719 --> 01:19:27,086 That was not part of the plan. (WOMEN GASPING) 1988 01:19:27,255 --> 01:19:29,386 (GROANING) Oh, God. Shit. 1989 01:19:29,555 --> 01:19:31,593 Oh. GHOSTFACE: Neither was this. 1990 01:19:31,762 --> 01:19:33,090 (WOMEN GASP) 1991 01:19:33,259 --> 01:19:34,961 (PLOP, BURBLE) 1992 01:19:35,164 --> 01:19:36,468 Wait, Ray got one of those! 1993 01:19:36,671 --> 01:19:38,868 Whoa! Hot damn! (THUDS) 1994 01:19:39,037 --> 01:19:42,240 (LAUGHING) Anthony Anderson! 1995 01:19:42,409 --> 01:19:43,710 Yeah. 1996 01:19:43,879 --> 01:19:46,277 And I brought my boy Kevin Hart with me. 1997 01:19:46,446 --> 01:19:47,980 (GASPS) 1998 01:19:53,520 --> 01:19:55,152 What? Shaq? 1999 01:19:55,354 --> 01:19:57,950 That's right. On my knees I'm the same height as Kevin. 2000 01:19:58,119 --> 01:19:59,316 And Kevin said no. 2001 01:19:59,518 --> 01:20:00,828 ANTHONY: Kevin Hart said no? 2002 01:20:00,997 --> 01:20:02,690 That little motherfucker says yes to everything. 2003 01:20:02,892 --> 01:20:03,793 Yeah, he does. 2004 01:20:03,962 --> 01:20:05,357 But wait! (METALLIC SCRAPE) 2005 01:20:05,560 --> 01:20:07,925 GHOSTFACE: There's more. (MUFFLED GIGGLE) 2006 01:20:08,094 --> 01:20:10,037 Ta-dah... 2007 01:20:10,239 --> 01:20:11,303 bitches! 2008 01:20:11,472 --> 01:20:12,998 Ray? Shorty? 2009 01:20:13,167 --> 01:20:14,771 Yeah, that's right. 2010 01:20:14,940 --> 01:20:17,973 Four Black killers. Yeah. 2011 01:20:18,142 --> 01:20:19,339 We're making history. (LAUGHS) 2012 01:20:19,508 --> 01:20:22,509 This a new definition of Black excellence. 2013 01:20:23,310 --> 01:20:24,711 But why would you do this? 2014 01:20:24,914 --> 01:20:26,381 Question is: 2015 01:20:26,583 --> 01:20:28,352 Why would you try to make a sequel without us, huh? 2016 01:20:28,521 --> 01:20:29,856 Yeah! 2017 01:20:30,025 --> 01:20:31,685 When the studio wanted to replace these brothers, 2018 01:20:31,888 --> 01:20:33,824 I was there. 2019 01:20:33,993 --> 01:20:35,823 That's facts. What about me? 2020 01:20:35,991 --> 01:20:36,826 What about you? 2021 01:20:36,995 --> 01:20:38,023 CINDY: You were in one scene 2022 01:20:38,225 --> 01:20:39,831 in Part 4. Oh! 2023 01:20:39,999 --> 01:20:40,829 Yes, but I made that motherfucker 2024 01:20:40,998 --> 01:20:42,430 Dr. Phil cut his foot off. 2025 01:20:42,598 --> 01:20:44,271 And he crazy now. SHORTY: Yeah, he got weird. 2026 01:20:44,440 --> 01:20:45,463 Mm. But you-- 2027 01:20:45,631 --> 01:20:46,972 Y-You see what they trying to do? 2028 01:20:47,141 --> 01:20:48,865 They trying to pit us all up against each other. 2029 01:20:49,067 --> 01:20:51,610 They trying to start Black on-- on very Black crime. 2030 01:20:51,779 --> 01:20:52,976 ANTHONY: Oh. That's right! 2031 01:20:53,145 --> 01:20:55,806 Yo, Shaq. Hey. I'm proud of you, bro. 2032 01:20:55,975 --> 01:20:58,345 You've had an amazing career as a sports commentator 2033 01:20:58,514 --> 01:21:00,185 since retiring from basketball. Mm-hmm. 2034 01:21:00,354 --> 01:21:03,881 And I love The Big Podcast. Nigga, I love that shit! 2035 01:21:04,050 --> 01:21:06,055 Even though I don't understand a word you be saying. 2036 01:21:06,224 --> 01:21:07,219 You be on that show talkin' 'bout-- 2037 01:21:07,388 --> 01:21:09,394 (SPEAKING GIBBERISH AS SHAQ) 2038 01:21:09,563 --> 01:21:10,857 (RAY CHUCKLES) 2039 01:21:11,026 --> 01:21:11,758 "Kobe." 2040 01:21:11,960 --> 01:21:13,162 Enough. 2041 01:21:13,331 --> 01:21:16,871 But my point is, nigga, I love your shit. 2042 01:21:17,805 --> 01:21:19,903 But I never got over Kazaam. 2043 01:21:20,072 --> 01:21:21,340 Fuck all that shit! (GASPING) 2044 01:21:21,509 --> 01:21:22,900 Kick his ass! 2045 01:21:23,068 --> 01:21:25,538 Get your big ass over here! I hated that movie, too! 2046 01:21:25,707 --> 01:21:26,944 Why did you leave the Lakers? (RAPID STABBING) 2047 01:21:27,146 --> 01:21:29,779 You and Kobe would've had nine rings! 2048 01:21:29,982 --> 01:21:31,284 That motherfucker traded me! 2049 01:21:31,486 --> 01:21:32,586 Sha-kweel! 2050 01:21:32,755 --> 01:21:35,253 How big is your foot? (STABBING) 2051 01:21:35,455 --> 01:21:36,515 22. 2052 01:21:36,684 --> 01:21:39,054 Then how big is your dick? (STABBING) 2053 01:21:39,223 --> 01:21:40,351 Whoa, whoa, whoa, Ray! (STABBING) 2054 01:21:40,520 --> 01:21:41,929 Pause. SHORTY: What the fuck 2055 01:21:42,131 --> 01:21:43,494 you talking about? I'm doing it for the culture. 2056 01:21:43,663 --> 01:21:45,029 What culture? 2057 01:21:45,198 --> 01:21:47,062 The Culture Club. Nigga! ANTHONY: Bro. 2058 01:21:47,231 --> 01:21:48,328 Come on, Ray, we killing people. 2059 01:21:48,497 --> 01:21:49,393 Stay focused. All right, all right. 2060 01:21:49,562 --> 01:21:51,434 All right. We back. (YELPS) 2061 01:21:51,636 --> 01:21:54,441 Hey, Ant, don't, don't you-- don't you worry. We family. 2062 01:21:54,643 --> 01:21:56,537 Ant, mad respect, y'all. 2063 01:21:56,705 --> 01:21:58,675 (WHIMPERS) Hey, Black-ish nominated 2064 01:21:58,843 --> 01:21:59,776 for eight Emmys! 2065 01:21:59,979 --> 01:22:01,074 My nigga! (WINCES) 2066 01:22:01,243 --> 01:22:02,375 (STAMMERS) Well, actually, 2067 01:22:02,544 --> 01:22:04,110 the show was only nominated for five. 2068 01:22:04,312 --> 01:22:05,977 I was nominated for eight. 2069 01:22:06,180 --> 01:22:07,115 Ooh. Wow. 2070 01:22:07,284 --> 01:22:08,081 Oh, thank you. (WOMEN CLAPPING) 2071 01:22:08,250 --> 01:22:09,249 (GIGGLES) A thespian! 2072 01:22:09,418 --> 01:22:11,954 Is that so? Eight nominations. 2073 01:22:12,123 --> 01:22:14,119 Crazy! (CHUCKLING) Yeah, man. 2074 01:22:14,288 --> 01:22:15,424 (LAUGHTER DIES DOWN) 2075 01:22:16,226 --> 01:22:18,256 But you never won. What? 2076 01:22:18,424 --> 01:22:19,828 (WINCES) (GASPING) 2077 01:22:20,030 --> 01:22:21,263 Et tu, Brute? 2078 01:22:21,432 --> 01:22:23,134 Don't speak Spanish to me, motherfucker. 2079 01:22:23,369 --> 01:22:26,268 This is for doing Scary Movie 3 and 4! 2080 01:22:26,437 --> 01:22:28,475 I didn't know they fired the family! 2081 01:22:28,644 --> 01:22:30,273 And this is for copying 2082 01:22:30,442 --> 01:22:33,239 our Good Times episode on Black-ish! 2083 01:22:33,408 --> 01:22:35,913 But you guys were on The WB! 2084 01:22:36,082 --> 01:22:38,542 (WHIMPERS) Nobody saw that shit! 2085 01:22:38,711 --> 01:22:40,311 (THUDS) (BOTH PANTING) 2086 01:22:40,514 --> 01:22:42,048 SHORTY: Ooh. No, no, no. 2087 01:22:42,217 --> 01:22:44,157 And you, and you-- 2088 01:22:44,360 --> 01:22:47,259 Y'all went and did Scary Movie 3 and 4 without us! 2089 01:22:47,427 --> 01:22:49,956 Nigga, I'm sorry. They offered me so much money! 2090 01:22:50,125 --> 01:22:53,728 I-I got a new house, a new car. I got wigs that don't itch. 2091 01:22:53,897 --> 01:22:54,764 (SNIFFLES) 2092 01:22:54,933 --> 01:22:56,234 And what about you? 2093 01:22:57,301 --> 01:22:59,398 Well, I had a chance to work with 2094 01:22:59,567 --> 01:23:01,899 the incomparable Charlie Sheen. 2095 01:23:03,570 --> 01:23:05,171 That's good. He's a legend. 2096 01:23:05,373 --> 01:23:07,506 And his dick game's crazy. 2097 01:23:07,675 --> 01:23:09,706 You know he slept with 47,000 women? 2098 01:23:09,909 --> 01:23:11,946 And a thousand of them women were dudes. 2099 01:23:12,115 --> 01:23:13,812 (SCOFFS) Lucky guy. 2100 01:23:14,780 --> 01:23:17,149 Wait, so y'all gonna kill us now? 2101 01:23:17,318 --> 01:23:18,682 (SHORTY WHIMPERS) 2102 01:23:18,850 --> 01:23:20,622 Nah. (CHUCKLES) (EXHALES) 2103 01:23:20,791 --> 01:23:23,392 What would Halloween be without Jamie Lee Curtis? 2104 01:23:23,594 --> 01:23:25,229 Or Scream be without Neve Campbell? 2105 01:23:25,431 --> 01:23:26,800 (BRENDA GASPS) That would be Scream VI. 2106 01:23:26,969 --> 01:23:29,400 How did you guys pull all of this off? 2107 01:23:29,603 --> 01:23:30,827 Cindy! 2108 01:23:30,996 --> 01:23:33,739 You know how many Wayanses there are? 2109 01:23:33,941 --> 01:23:35,868 Nigga, billions! Billions! 2110 01:23:36,037 --> 01:23:39,376 I'm just so happy that the old gang is back together. 2111 01:23:40,146 --> 01:23:41,941 Okay, in the middle, on three: 2112 01:23:42,110 --> 01:23:43,342 Core Four. 2113 01:23:43,511 --> 01:23:45,148 What? Nah, nah. We-- That-- 2114 01:23:45,317 --> 01:23:46,520 That-- That's corny shit. That's wack. 2115 01:23:46,689 --> 01:23:48,054 Ooh, uh, w-what about-- 2116 01:23:48,256 --> 01:23:50,722 What about, The Young and The Restless? 2117 01:23:50,924 --> 01:23:52,792 Yeah, or The-- or The Old 2118 01:23:52,961 --> 01:23:54,124 and then The Beautiful. (LAUGHS) 2119 01:23:54,293 --> 01:23:56,192 Or-- or The-- The Cute and The Crusty. 2120 01:23:56,361 --> 01:23:59,059 Yeah, or The Sexy and then The Senile. 2121 01:23:59,261 --> 01:24:01,497 (BOTH LAUGHING) 2122 01:24:02,463 --> 01:24:05,171 (BOTH CRYING, WHIMPERING) 2123 01:24:05,339 --> 01:24:07,232 But we were brought in to take over the franchise! 2124 01:24:07,434 --> 01:24:08,468 That's right. I mean, 2125 01:24:08,636 --> 01:24:10,708 you guys are, like, 70 years old! 2126 01:24:10,876 --> 01:24:12,444 Not in my mouth! 2127 01:24:12,646 --> 01:24:13,613 Aw, fuck! 2128 01:24:13,815 --> 01:24:14,938 (TUESDAY AND SARA SOBBING) 2129 01:24:15,140 --> 01:24:17,346 I just dragged that one from the subway. 2130 01:24:17,515 --> 01:24:19,710 Oh, my back hurts. (GROANS) (BONES POP) 2131 01:24:19,878 --> 01:24:22,614 Guys, guys! They're already dead. 2132 01:24:22,816 --> 01:24:25,053 Nah! Little fuckers always come back. 2133 01:24:25,221 --> 01:24:26,960 Oh, no. Not this time. 2134 01:24:27,163 --> 01:24:29,389 Exactly. Come on, Ray, let's go. Let's go. 2135 01:24:29,558 --> 01:24:30,964 Who got a match? (GIRLS YELLING) 2136 01:24:31,166 --> 01:24:35,228 Got one, got one! Next generation, my ass! 2137 01:24:35,397 --> 01:24:36,800 Yeah, whoo! (WHOOPS) 2138 01:24:37,002 --> 01:24:39,065 (ALL SCREAMING) 2139 01:24:39,234 --> 01:24:41,036 (BOTH YELLING) 2140 01:24:41,205 --> 01:24:42,267 Sara, tell me what do to. 2141 01:24:42,469 --> 01:24:44,441 Blow, bitch, blow! 2142 01:24:49,474 --> 01:24:52,285 (LAUGHTER) 2143 01:24:52,488 --> 01:24:53,516 Yeah. 2144 01:24:55,686 --> 01:24:57,954 Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Should we feel bad? 2145 01:24:58,157 --> 01:24:59,549 I mean, those are our kids. 2146 01:24:59,718 --> 01:25:01,355 Fuck those kids! Yeah! 2147 01:25:01,524 --> 01:25:03,458 This is our franchise. Yeah! 2148 01:25:03,661 --> 01:25:06,260 Besides, we can do all these dramatic walkaways 2149 01:25:06,429 --> 01:25:07,732 with the fire in back of us. 2150 01:25:07,901 --> 01:25:09,561 But, damn, it's hot. 2151 01:25:09,730 --> 01:25:12,370 I don't know. I kind of like it. 2152 01:25:13,306 --> 01:25:14,974 You do, Ray? We should play firemen. 2153 01:25:15,142 --> 01:25:17,109 You wanna dress up like a fireman? 2154 01:25:17,278 --> 01:25:19,011 No. I want you to dress up like a fireman. 2155 01:25:19,213 --> 01:25:21,540 (BRENDA GIGGLES) Y'all feel a draft? 2156 01:25:21,742 --> 01:25:23,443 ("BIGGER THAN EVER (WE BACK)" BY CHRIS PATRICK PLAYS) ♪ Bigger than ever ♪ 2157 01:25:23,645 --> 01:25:24,410 ♪ We back Woo ♪ 2158 01:25:24,612 --> 01:25:26,183 ♪ Okay, okay ♪ 2159 01:25:26,385 --> 01:25:27,611 ♪ We back We back ♪ 2160 01:25:27,813 --> 01:25:29,055 ♪ Okay, okay ♪ 2161 01:25:29,257 --> 01:25:30,618 ♪ Bigger than ever We back ♪ 2162 01:25:30,820 --> 01:25:32,291 ♪ Wait on it Put in pain for it ♪ 2163 01:25:32,493 --> 01:25:34,027 ♪ Every day A day to train for it ♪ 2164 01:25:34,229 --> 01:25:35,787 ♪ We on a whole 'nother level ♪ 2165 01:25:35,989 --> 01:25:37,296 ♪ Bigger than ever We back ♪ 2166 01:25:39,427 --> 01:25:40,758 ♪ Uh-huh ♪ 2167 01:25:40,960 --> 01:25:42,467 ♪ We back We back ♪ 2168 01:25:42,669 --> 01:25:44,204 ♪ Back like respawn ♪ ♪ Respawn ♪ 2169 01:25:44,406 --> 01:25:45,865 ♪ Back like Reversin' out the whip ♪ 2170 01:25:46,067 --> 01:25:47,671 ♪ Forward drive ♪ ♪ Drive ♪ 2171 01:25:47,873 --> 01:25:49,072 ♪ Back like I'm Marty ♪ ♪ Marty ♪ 2172 01:25:49,274 --> 01:25:50,338 ♪ Back like McFly ♪ 2173 01:25:50,540 --> 01:25:52,035 ♪ Double back for dinero ♪ 2174 01:25:52,237 --> 01:25:53,780 ♪ 'Cause it's back Like I slide ♪ 2175 01:25:53,982 --> 01:25:55,411 ♪ We outside ♪ 2176 01:25:55,613 --> 01:25:57,675 ♪ We ain't never really left ♪ 2177 01:25:57,877 --> 01:25:58,919 ♪ Write ambidextrous ♪ 2178 01:25:59,121 --> 01:26:00,579 ♪ Both hands need a check ♪ 2179 01:26:00,781 --> 01:26:02,384 ♪ Whole fam need respect ♪ 2180 01:26:02,586 --> 01:26:04,423 ♪ More bands, nothing less ♪ 2181 01:26:04,625 --> 01:26:07,689 ♪ Tax season 'cause I got The plan to collect ♪ 2182 01:26:09,325 --> 01:26:10,691 ♪ Uh ♪ 2183 01:26:10,893 --> 01:26:12,098 ♪ Look at me now ♪ ♪ Now ♪ 2184 01:26:12,300 --> 01:26:13,829 ♪ We on a whole 'nother level ♪ 2185 01:26:14,032 --> 01:26:15,833 ♪ My foot on the pedal My eyes on the crown ♪ 2186 01:26:16,035 --> 01:26:17,401 ♪ Uh ♪ 2187 01:26:17,603 --> 01:26:18,797 ♪ Look at me now ♪ ♪ Now ♪ 2188 01:26:18,999 --> 01:26:20,403 ♪ We on a whole 'nother level ♪ 2189 01:26:20,605 --> 01:26:21,835 ♪ Bigger than ever We back ♪ 2190 01:26:22,835 --> 01:26:24,436 ♪ Okay, okay ♪ 2191 01:26:24,638 --> 01:26:26,137 ♪ We back ♪ 2192 01:26:26,339 --> 01:26:27,912 ♪ Okay, okay ♪ ♪ Bigger than ever ♪ 2193 01:26:28,114 --> 01:26:29,413 ♪ We back ♪ 2194 01:26:29,615 --> 01:26:30,976 ♪ Wait on it Put in pain for it ♪ 2195 01:26:31,178 --> 01:26:32,415 ♪ Every day A day to train for it ♪ 2196 01:26:32,617 --> 01:26:34,010 ♪ We on a whole 'nother level ♪ 2197 01:26:34,212 --> 01:26:35,684 ♪ Bigger than ever We back ♪ 2198 01:26:36,825 --> 01:26:37,923 ♪ Mm ♪ 2199 01:26:38,125 --> 01:26:39,752 ♪ Look at me now ♪ 2200 01:26:39,954 --> 01:26:41,421 ♪ We on a whole 'nother level ♪ 2201 01:26:41,623 --> 01:26:42,863 ♪ Look at me now ♪ 2202 01:26:43,065 --> 01:26:44,458 ♪ My foot on the pedal ♪ 2203 01:26:44,660 --> 01:26:46,495 ♪ My eyes on the crown ♪ 2204 01:26:46,697 --> 01:26:48,131 ♪ We on a whole 'nother level ♪ 2205 01:26:48,333 --> 01:26:49,463 ♪ Look at me now ♪ 2206 01:26:49,665 --> 01:26:51,267 ♪ Whoo, look at me now ♪ 2207 01:26:51,469 --> 01:26:52,930 ♪ Whoo, look at me now ♪ 2208 01:26:53,132 --> 01:26:54,505 ♪ We on a whole 'nother level ♪ 2209 01:26:58,303 --> 01:27:00,506 ♪ Bigger than ever We back, whoo ♪ 2210 01:27:00,708 --> 01:27:02,276 ♪ Okay, okay ♪ 2211 01:27:02,478 --> 01:27:03,916 ♪ We back ♪ 2212 01:27:04,118 --> 01:27:05,316 ♪ Okay, okay ♪ 2213 01:27:05,518 --> 01:27:06,813 ♪ Bigger than ever We back ♪ 2214 01:27:07,015 --> 01:27:08,420 ♪ Wait on it Put in pain for it ♪ 2215 01:27:08,622 --> 01:27:10,156 ♪ Every day A day to train for it ♪ 2216 01:27:10,358 --> 01:27:11,652 ♪ We on a whole 'nother level ♪ 2217 01:27:11,854 --> 01:27:13,585 ♪ Bigger than ever We back ♪ 2218 01:27:13,787 --> 01:27:15,960 ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪ 2219 01:27:16,162 --> 01:27:16,995 ♪ We back ♪ 2220 01:27:17,197 --> 01:27:19,326 ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪ 2221 01:27:19,528 --> 01:27:20,361 ♪ We back ♪ 2222 01:27:20,563 --> 01:27:22,626 ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪ 2223 01:27:22,828 --> 01:27:24,027 ♪ We back ♪ 2224 01:27:24,229 --> 01:27:25,633 ♪ We on a whole 'nother level ♪ 2225 01:27:25,835 --> 01:27:27,098 ♪ Bigger than ever We back ♪ 2226 01:27:35,044 --> 01:27:37,276 NARRATOR: Coming soon to a theater near you... 2227 01:27:37,445 --> 01:27:39,114 Come to me... 2228 01:27:39,283 --> 01:27:40,584 Count Brolock. 2229 01:27:41,686 --> 01:27:43,047 From the studio that brought you 2230 01:27:43,216 --> 01:27:45,919 every Black version of a white movie... 2231 01:27:48,428 --> 01:27:52,065 I am but an appetite, nothing more. 2232 01:27:52,233 --> 01:27:54,297 That's not what you said last night 2233 01:27:54,499 --> 01:27:56,030 when you were sucking on my chest. 2234 01:27:56,199 --> 01:27:57,634 (SHUSHES) 2235 01:27:58,435 --> 01:27:59,862 The sisters may hear you. 2236 01:28:00,031 --> 01:28:01,698 Too late. (GASPS, SPUTTERS) 2237 01:28:01,866 --> 01:28:02,932 You trifling sellout. 2238 01:28:03,101 --> 01:28:04,641 BROLOCK: I don't know this bitch! 2239 01:28:04,843 --> 01:28:06,243 She's trying to get me! This is entrapment! 2240 01:28:06,412 --> 01:28:08,609 Negro ain't shit. ALL: Mm-hmm. 2241 01:28:08,778 --> 01:28:11,450 NARRATOR: Behold the Black vampire. 2242 01:28:12,117 --> 01:28:13,980 Brosferatu. 2243 01:28:15,056 --> 01:28:16,983 Coming this Kwanzaa. 2244 01:28:18,189 --> 01:28:19,359 (CROW CAWS) 2245 01:29:31,229 --> 01:29:35,001 Cuckoo. Cuckoo. 2246 01:29:35,170 --> 01:29:39,165 Happy Birthday, A.S. Berger. 2247 01:29:39,334 --> 01:29:41,667 Something isn't right here. SHORTHAND: Happy birthday... 2248 01:29:41,836 --> 01:29:43,509 He's definitely Ghostface. 2249 01:29:44,207 --> 01:29:45,104 Sit. 2250 01:29:46,211 --> 01:29:47,746 I agree, Berger. 2251 01:29:47,915 --> 01:29:50,039 That hand should spend the rest of its life in prison. 2252 01:29:50,208 --> 01:29:52,113 That little hand, man. I mean-- 2253 01:29:52,316 --> 01:29:55,813 Respectfully, that thing would probably give a nice handjob. 2254 01:29:55,982 --> 01:29:58,153 Off the chain, guaranteed. 2255 01:29:58,322 --> 01:29:59,390 Tight grip. 2256 01:29:59,559 --> 01:30:00,717 Make your meat look two times bigger. 2257 01:30:00,885 --> 01:30:01,985 (CHUCKLES) Yeah. 2258 01:30:02,154 --> 01:30:03,395 I don't want a handjob from him. 2259 01:30:03,564 --> 01:30:04,824 Let me tell you that, first and foremost. 2260 01:30:04,993 --> 01:30:06,993 I do not want a handjob. Me neither. 2261 01:30:07,162 --> 01:30:09,700 However, when you look at it, like a shotgun-- 2262 01:30:09,869 --> 01:30:11,772 (CLICKS, PUFFS) You're done. (SHOTGUN COCKS, FIRES) 2263 01:30:11,974 --> 01:30:13,197 (MIMICS EXPLOSION) 2264 01:30:13,366 --> 01:30:14,733 Now, listen, we're gonna hold him, okay? 2265 01:30:14,902 --> 01:30:16,404 Okay. It might be a day, 2266 01:30:16,573 --> 01:30:17,738 two weeks, I don't know. 2267 01:30:17,907 --> 01:30:19,003 I don't know how long this movie is. 2268 01:30:19,172 --> 01:30:21,171 Like a Chris Nolan movie with farts. 2269 01:30:21,340 --> 01:30:23,577 But what I want you to do is go in there 2270 01:30:23,746 --> 01:30:25,709 and show him what you got. 2271 01:30:25,878 --> 01:30:26,948 Cock it and rock it. 2272 01:30:27,716 --> 01:30:29,753 (DISTANT SIRENS WAILING) 2273 01:30:30,751 --> 01:30:31,788 Ah. (DOOR UNLOCKS) 2274 01:30:33,525 --> 01:30:35,891 (GASPS) Oh! (DOOR SHUTS) 2275 01:30:36,759 --> 01:30:38,425 SHORTHAND: There she is. 2276 01:30:38,594 --> 01:30:40,731 The birthday girl. 2277 01:30:43,929 --> 01:30:45,065 I brought a cake. 2278 01:30:46,469 --> 01:30:47,672 Make a wish. 2279 01:30:49,442 --> 01:30:51,304 My germs! (SPUTTERS) 2280 01:30:51,473 --> 01:30:52,970 (SPUTTERS) 2281 01:30:53,139 --> 01:30:54,774 (BERGER SPITS) (SMACKS LIPS) 2282 01:30:54,943 --> 01:30:58,080 Finger-licking good. (GIGGLES) 2283 01:30:58,249 --> 01:31:01,647 Agent Berger, I'm just trying to give you my strong hand. 2284 01:31:01,849 --> 01:31:03,981 No! But it's a meme. 2285 01:31:04,183 --> 01:31:07,921 Mr. Shorthand, are you Ghostface? 2286 01:31:08,090 --> 01:31:10,530 (WHOOPS) Here we go-- (GRUNTS, WHIMPERS) 2287 01:31:11,399 --> 01:31:13,263 Whew, that stings. It's sort of-- 2288 01:31:13,431 --> 01:31:14,265 (THUDS) Whoo. 2289 01:31:14,434 --> 01:31:15,960 Okay, that hurts. Stop. 2290 01:31:16,129 --> 01:31:17,232 Can I talk to you for a second? 2291 01:31:17,401 --> 01:31:18,962 Yeah, o-okay. 2292 01:31:19,131 --> 01:31:20,766 (THUDS) (MOANS, GASPS) 2293 01:31:20,935 --> 01:31:22,436 This table needs an airbag. 2294 01:31:22,605 --> 01:31:23,436 It should-- (GRUNTS) 2295 01:31:23,605 --> 01:31:25,140 BOTH: Goddamn! 2296 01:31:25,309 --> 01:31:26,477 Whoo! 2297 01:31:26,646 --> 01:31:28,009 I didn't think it would hurt so bad. 2298 01:31:28,178 --> 01:31:30,682 So we got the wrong guy. Could have told you that. 2299 01:31:31,517 --> 01:31:33,009 Why? 'Cause I'm psychic. 2300 01:31:33,178 --> 01:31:35,021 (SHORTHAND GASPS) Oh, yeah! 2301 01:31:35,189 --> 01:31:36,385 You know, it's what-- 2302 01:31:36,588 --> 01:31:37,818 (THUDS) BOTH: Oh, shit! 2303 01:31:37,987 --> 01:31:39,389 (SIGHS) Oh, God, that's how I feel. 2304 01:31:39,592 --> 01:31:40,857 Let me tell you some-- (GRUNTS) 2305 01:31:41,657 --> 01:31:43,395 What do we do now? 2306 01:31:43,598 --> 01:31:45,191 Back out slowly. (THUDDING CONTINUES) 2307 01:31:45,359 --> 01:31:46,992 Like my neighbor when I caught him inside my wife. 2308 01:31:47,161 --> 01:31:48,634 SHORTHAND: Where are you guys going? 2309 01:31:48,803 --> 01:31:49,860 (THUDS, SHORTHAND GROANS) They're still together? 2310 01:31:50,029 --> 01:31:51,500 (THUDS) Unfortunately. 2311 01:31:51,669 --> 01:31:52,830 SHORTHAND: Ow! (THUDS) 2312 01:31:52,999 --> 01:31:54,901 Sorry, man. It's okay. 2313 01:31:55,104 --> 01:31:56,337 We're a throuple now. (SHORTHAND GROANS) 2314 01:31:56,506 --> 01:32:01,408 (THUDS)