1
00:00:46,881 --> 00:00:48,859
<i>I mean, I'm 30,000 feet
in the air, right?</i>

2
00:00:48,883 --> 00:00:50,235
<i>They're saying, Kevin,
come on, please.</i>

3
00:00:50,259 --> 00:00:51,653
Kev, you got to put
on the parachute.

4
00:00:51,677 --> 00:00:53,029
Everybody's going,
please, please, Kev.

5
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:54,740
At this point,
they're begging me.

6
00:00:54,764 --> 00:00:56,324
Tell me that the story ends

7
00:00:56,348 --> 00:00:57,701
with you wearing the parachute.

8
00:00:57,725 --> 00:01:01,246
Absolutely fucking not, no! No!

9
00:01:01,270 --> 00:01:02,998
No, I wanted to be authentic.
Right?

10
00:01:03,022 --> 00:01:04,541
- It's got to be real.
- Yeah.

11
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,793
You know what Tom Cruise
calls parachutes? Diapers.

12
00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:08,545
Is that because they fill up
when you're falling?

13
00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:11,339
No. Tom told me, he said, Kevin,
they put me in a parachute,

14
00:01:11,363 --> 00:01:13,800
they might as well put a diaper
on me and send me to pasture.

15
00:01:13,824 --> 00:01:16,261
Look, Kevin... you know,

16
00:01:16,285 --> 00:01:18,138
based on the success
of the first one,

17
00:01:18,162 --> 00:01:21,683
we see massive franchise
potential with The Jefferson's.

18
00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:23,769
And you know, your agent just
keeps saying that you might

19
00:01:23,793 --> 00:01:25,604
be waffling on doing a sequel.

20
00:01:25,628 --> 00:01:27,147
And I'm just here to ask,
is it about the money?

21
00:01:27,171 --> 00:01:30,192
Look, Deb, The Jefferson's
is amazing, right?

22
00:01:30,216 --> 00:01:31,610
We did amazing work there.

23
00:01:31,634 --> 00:01:33,820
But I'll be honest,
when I walk on that set,

24
00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:35,405
I feel like I'm being babysat.

25
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:38,325
I mean, they give me
goddamn stunt coordinators.

26
00:01:38,349 --> 00:01:42,746
I have... I have stage managers,
wires, green screens.

27
00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:45,081
Yes, a... and somehow,
you still manage to jump out

28
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:47,918
of an airplane without a chute.

29
00:01:47,942 --> 00:01:49,795
I wasn't telling the truth
when I told you that,

30
00:01:49,819 --> 00:01:51,254
but I forgot to say I was lying.

31
00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:53,048
So let's take a pause, right?

32
00:01:53,072 --> 00:01:54,549
Put a pin in that,
so you understand

33
00:01:54,573 --> 00:01:56,551
that wasn't the truth.
I had to make that up.

34
00:01:56,575 --> 00:01:57,761
I was pretending.

35
00:01:57,785 --> 00:01:59,262
But you know why
I got to pretend?

36
00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:01,556
Because I'm not a
real action star, Deb.

37
00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:03,934
Kevin, you took a sitcom
about a dry cleaner,

38
00:02:03,958 --> 00:02:06,144
and you turned him into
motherfucking Jason Bourne.

39
00:02:06,168 --> 00:02:08,980
Okay? You are
a real action star.

40
00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:11,107
- No, not yet.
- Not yet?

41
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:14,611
No. But I will be.

42
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,502
When you fund my next project.

43
00:02:17,346 --> 00:02:18,949
Okay.

44
00:02:18,973 --> 00:02:20,325
Deb, now, look, what
I'm about to tell you is going

45
00:02:20,349 --> 00:02:21,660
to seem crazy at first,
but I promise you,

46
00:02:21,684 --> 00:02:23,745
if you give it a chance,
you'll get it.

47
00:02:23,769 --> 00:02:26,039
- Close your eyes.
- Okay.

48
00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:29,181
Deb, I want you to picture
yourself going up a mountain.

49
00:02:32,570 --> 00:02:34,853
On the ground!
Let's go!

50
00:02:36,031 --> 00:02:37,351
Alright, you rich assholes!

51
00:02:39,368 --> 00:02:42,222
Wallets, Rolexes, jewelry!

52
00:02:42,246 --> 00:02:43,765
All your fancy shit!

53
00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:45,392
- What is taking so long?
- Put it in the bag!

54
00:02:45,416 --> 00:02:46,768
Let's go!

55
00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:48,270
Just stay calm. Stay calm.

56
00:02:48,294 --> 00:02:50,327
Everything shiny!
Let's go!

57
00:02:51,380 --> 00:02:52,774
Get it in the bag!
Let's go!

58
00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:54,818
They're coming this way.

59
00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:56,403
I don't have all day here!

60
00:02:56,427 --> 00:02:58,627
Shit, shit!
Shit, shit, shit!

61
00:03:00,389 --> 00:03:02,005
Trying to hide, little man?

62
00:03:04,602 --> 00:03:06,218
The fuck did you just call me?

63
00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:10,166
Bet you got a big wallet
for such a little man.

64
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,099
Now, put it in the bag!

65
00:03:14,153 --> 00:03:16,965
You want my wallet?

66
00:03:16,989 --> 00:03:18,091
Get back. I got this.

67
00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:19,815
You got what?

68
00:03:21,827 --> 00:03:23,930
- I want your gun!
- Shit!

69
00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:26,113
You believe this fucking clown?

70
00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:29,783
Give me your gun!

71
00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:35,455
Whoa.

72
00:03:36,759 --> 00:03:38,069
You're just going to be
the first man in history

73
00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:39,779
to shoot somebody
with a safety on?

74
00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:42,045
What?

75
00:03:51,357 --> 00:03:53,001
I don't like guns.

76
00:03:53,025 --> 00:03:54,808
Shit!

77
00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:57,339
- Not enough.
- God damn it.

78
00:03:57,363 --> 00:03:58,854
Shit.

79
00:04:12,878 --> 00:04:16,038
Nice to beef you, motherfucker.

80
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:25,116
Hey, it's not about me.
It's about you.

81
00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:27,077
I'm glad everybody's safe.

82
00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:28,870
It's a crazy world
that we're living in.

83
00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:31,331
- A lot of nut jobs out here.
- Kevin!

84
00:04:31,355 --> 00:04:33,722
Kevin?
What just happened?

85
00:04:35,109 --> 00:04:38,088
Real goddamn action!

86
00:04:38,112 --> 00:04:39,255
That's what just happened.

87
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,591
- Okay.
- Real fucking action.

88
00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,301
That's the adrenaline
that I want audiences

89
00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:45,553
across the globe to feel, Deb.

90
00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:47,472
This... this was all staged?

91
00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:49,891
Yeah! All of it.
They're actors.

92
00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:51,101
I just wanted to give you
a little taste of what

93
00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:52,560
our movie was about, right?

94
00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:54,104
This is the movie that
we're going to make.

95
00:04:54,128 --> 00:04:56,773
So what I did was,
I brought an outline, right?

96
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,566
A little rough outline
to give you a little idea

97
00:04:58,590 --> 00:04:59,734
about what we're going to do.

98
00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,695
- Boy.
- Right?

99
00:05:01,719 --> 00:05:03,363
The world of our movie lives

100
00:05:03,387 --> 00:05:05,323
in improvised action.

101
00:05:05,347 --> 00:05:08,118
It's spontaneous ass-whoopins.
That's what this is about.

102
00:05:08,142 --> 00:05:10,620
That guy spontaneously
hit you with a gun.

103
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:11,788
You're talking about Larry?

104
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,915
Larry! Hey!
You got me good.

105
00:05:13,939 --> 00:05:15,834
- I'm gonna feel that one.
- Yeah, you are.

106
00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:18,128
You goddamn right.
Fucking Larry.

107
00:05:18,152 --> 00:05:20,380
You're not well.
No, you're not well.

108
00:05:20,404 --> 00:05:21,840
This is about me
getting a respect

109
00:05:21,864 --> 00:05:24,273
that I deserve
as an action star, Deb!

110
00:05:27,161 --> 00:05:29,556
What is it that
you want me to say here?

111
00:05:29,580 --> 00:05:30,807
What do I want you to say?

112
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:33,448
Deb, I want you to say,
I'll do it!

113
00:05:34,585 --> 00:05:37,022
My answer is no. Never.

114
00:05:37,046 --> 00:05:38,356
This is never going to happen,

115
00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:39,899
not at my studio
or anyone else's. No.

116
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,443
- Please?
- No.

117
00:05:41,467 --> 00:05:42,986
- Can you just give it a...
- No, no, no, no.

118
00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:45,030
Deb, can you just...

119
00:05:45,054 --> 00:05:47,741
Can you just please
give it a... give it a read?

120
00:05:47,765 --> 00:05:50,869
Okay? Here.

121
00:05:50,893 --> 00:05:53,079
There you go.
That's all... that's all I want.

122
00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:54,803
Can you just...

123
00:05:56,607 --> 00:05:58,223
I'll read it.

124
00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:02,853
We did it! Yeah!

125
00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:23,818
Hello, Mr. Greenlight!
She loved it, right?

126
00:06:23,842 --> 00:06:25,612
I told you she was
going to love it!

127
00:06:25,636 --> 00:06:27,572
What's the budget she
gave you? $300 million?

128
00:06:27,596 --> 00:06:29,783
$400... $500 million for this?

129
00:06:29,807 --> 00:06:31,506
Just drive.

130
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:37,373
I am so sorry, Kevin.
That's not... that is not fair.

131
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,793
You are a king, and this town
doesn't deserve you.

132
00:06:39,817 --> 00:06:41,669
Do you hear me?
You are a king!

133
00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:44,005
You are my king! Praise!

134
00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:45,924
Praise!

135
00:06:45,948 --> 00:06:47,801
Wait a second.
Is that her right there?

136
00:06:47,825 --> 00:06:49,219
Is that her, the one
throwing away the script?

137
00:06:49,243 --> 00:06:51,679
Is that her right there?
Excuse me, ma'am!

138
00:06:51,703 --> 00:06:54,265
Excuse me, ma'am, in
the red jacket! How are you?

139
00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:56,726
Kevin Darnell Hart
is a national treasure!

140
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,394
- A national treasure!
- Just drive the car!

141
00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,146
We're going to drive the car!

142
00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:01,815
But honestly,
get your shit together!

143
00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:03,233
Nice to meet you!

144
00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:05,832
Drive the fucking car, Andre!

145
00:07:15,561 --> 00:07:17,872
Today is gonna be the most
amazing day of your life.

146
00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:19,290
Your papers.

147
00:07:19,314 --> 00:07:20,917
You say the same thing
every day, Andre.

148
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:23,044
- And every day, you're wrong.
- Well, come on.

149
00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:24,546
You're just cranky,
because you haven't

150
00:07:24,570 --> 00:07:26,172
had your tofu tahini smoothie.

151
00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:28,633
I'll get that for you right now.
Sophie! His TT!

152
00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:29,968
I really hate that
you call it that.

153
00:07:29,992 --> 00:07:31,886
Here we go.
Big gulps.

154
00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:33,847
- There you go.
- No.

155
00:07:33,871 --> 00:07:37,350
I'm cranky, because the movie
of my dreams just flamed. Okay?

156
00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:39,102
Now, I don't know what
I'm going to do with my life.

157
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:41,563
Well, I mean, come on, man.
You still have us.

158
00:07:41,587 --> 00:07:42,897
That's amazing, right?
You have us.

159
00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:44,524
What the hell does that mean?
Ooh.

160
00:07:44,548 --> 00:07:48,319
Hannah, Sophie, me,
your man TJ right over here!

161
00:07:48,343 --> 00:07:50,155
I'm talking about your village!

162
00:07:50,179 --> 00:07:51,573
I know what you need.
I know what you need.

163
00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:53,116
A massage.

164
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:54,909
Nina, these are all set up
for the new hot stones?

165
00:07:54,933 --> 00:07:56,119
I can be in about ten minutes.

166
00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:58,329
She can be in about ten minutes.

167
00:07:58,353 --> 00:08:00,540
Kevin, the crew
are ready whenever you are.

168
00:08:00,564 --> 00:08:02,083
Yeah. I'm ready.

169
00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:03,168
You got this!

170
00:08:03,192 --> 00:08:04,586
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

171
00:08:04,610 --> 00:08:06,129
There you go.

172
00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:07,547
God.
How you doing?

173
00:08:07,571 --> 00:08:09,340
Good. Great.

174
00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:13,178
Kev, now just pretend you're
biking through the Swiss Alps.

175
00:08:13,202 --> 00:08:15,722
We'll CG the Alps in later.

176
00:08:15,746 --> 00:08:17,265
What is that?

177
00:08:17,289 --> 00:08:18,725
I'm on foot, though.
I need a bike, right?

178
00:08:18,749 --> 00:08:20,991
We'll CG that in, too.
Action!

179
00:08:24,338 --> 00:08:25,565
You just want me to...

180
00:08:25,589 --> 00:08:27,150
Just go for it.

181
00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:28,902
Act like I'm riding a bike?

182
00:08:28,926 --> 00:08:31,112
- Exactly.
- Straight arms.

183
00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:33,907
Kevin, look at this.
Kevin, look at this.

184
00:08:33,931 --> 00:08:36,451
Hey, man.
Not... No!

185
00:08:36,475 --> 00:08:39,495
I can't... can't do this shit!
I can't.

186
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:44,584
I... I cannot do
this shit any more! Alright?

187
00:08:44,608 --> 00:08:48,338
I'm tired of the CGI and
the goddamn green screens,

188
00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:50,506
all this fake shit!

189
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:51,799
No...

190
00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:53,384
I want real fucking action!

191
00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:55,192
Kevin, no!

192
00:08:57,788 --> 00:09:00,780
Nina? What's the ETA
on those hot stones?

193
00:09:05,754 --> 00:09:07,232
<i>It appears A-list actor</i>

194
00:09:07,256 --> 00:09:09,192
<i>Kevin Hart is back
in the news again.</i>

195
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:12,737
<i>Star of the high-octane reboot
of The Jefferson's,</i>

196
00:09:12,761 --> 00:09:16,074
{\an8}Hart has spent his own money
destroying a high-end Hollywood

197
00:09:16,098 --> 00:09:18,743
{\an8}restaurant in an
attempt to woo a studio

198
00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:20,745
{\an8}boss into financing what
he refers to

199
00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:23,957
{\an8}as a cinema verité-style
action film.

200
00:09:23,981 --> 00:09:26,834
<i>This comes just a year
after the actor famously</i>

201
00:09:26,858 --> 00:09:30,213
<i>fired his long-time
stuntman Doug Eubanks</i>

202
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:31,965
<i>in the middle of production,
a decision</i>

203
00:09:31,989 --> 00:09:33,967
<i>that left insiders dumbfounded.</i>

204
00:09:33,991 --> 00:09:35,565
Bring me this man.

205
00:09:36,702 --> 00:09:40,181
Bring me this Kevin Hart.

206
00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:42,239
<i>Also known as Mr. 206.</i>

207
00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:46,771
<i>Wow.
This is big, man.</i>

208
00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:48,690
No, like, this is really big.

209
00:09:48,714 --> 00:09:50,400
Andre, I don't think
you understand!

210
00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:53,194
I cast my dream out into
the universe, and guess what?

211
00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:54,779
Karl Stromberg comes running!

212
00:09:54,803 --> 00:09:57,615
Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah.

213
00:09:57,639 --> 00:10:00,201
But I got to say, boss.
I don't like it.

214
00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:02,412
I mean, you don't even know
this guy, right?

215
00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:04,539
I tried to look him up,
and nothing came up on Google.

216
00:10:04,563 --> 00:10:07,250
Duh.
It's because he's European.

217
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:09,669
They got their own Google.
Everybody knows that. Alright?

218
00:10:09,693 --> 00:10:12,213
Listen, the guy is loaded,
got tons of money.

219
00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:14,841
And if his desire is to make
my movie, then so be it.

220
00:10:14,865 --> 00:10:16,676
- I'm good.
- I can't do it, boss.

221
00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:18,469
I am so sorry.
I can't do it.

222
00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:20,471
My job is to look out for your
best interest, and I don't...

223
00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:22,390
What did you just say?

224
00:10:22,414 --> 00:10:23,474
It's my job
to look out for your...

225
00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:25,268
It's not your job.

226
00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:28,104
As a matter of fact, that's the
complete opposite of your job.

227
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,940
You know who
looks out for me, Andre? Me.

228
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,400
That's who looks out for me.
Me!

229
00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:33,651
Okay?

230
00:10:33,675 --> 00:10:35,236
- You know what? Pull over.
- What?

231
00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:36,529
Pull over. I'm driving myself.
I don't want you...

232
00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:37,947
Kevin, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no.

233
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,240
Kevin, you can't drive yourself.
You need me!

234
00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:41,242
- You need me!
- I do not need you.

235
00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:43,578
Correction!
I don't need you!

236
00:10:43,602 --> 00:10:44,954
I didn't need my stunt man!

237
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,414
I damn sure don't
need an assistant

238
00:10:46,438 --> 00:10:47,623
telling me how to live my life.

239
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:49,055
Pull over!

240
00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:53,087
Don't... don't hold the wheel
in the middle!

241
00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:55,840
Shut up, Andre!
I said shut up!

242
00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:57,467
- I know how to drive!
- We know!

243
00:10:57,491 --> 00:10:59,052
We all know!
He knows how to drive a car!

244
00:10:59,076 --> 00:11:01,512
We know! But let's say you
put your hand down.

245
00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:03,514
- You pop it in D.
- Pop it in first!

246
00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:05,391
Nope, that's reverse!
Whoa! You know what?

247
00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:07,060
Why don't I help you out?

248
00:11:07,084 --> 00:11:09,062
I'll get in there, I'll start
her up, I'll roll out,

249
00:11:09,086 --> 00:11:10,271
and everybody will
think it was you.

250
00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:11,731
I don't want your help!

251
00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:13,274
Good, good, good! Good!

252
00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:14,567
Good! Good, good, good!

253
00:11:14,591 --> 00:11:16,152
Yeah, smooth!
Very smooth!

254
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:18,321
- You're leaving!
- Yeah! Fuck off!

255
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:20,253
I'll drive all the way home!

256
00:11:40,659 --> 00:11:42,929
So, Karl...

257
00:11:42,953 --> 00:11:46,363
Karl, what is it, what is
that you do for a living, man?

258
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:51,743
I made my fortune
mining precious metals.

259
00:11:53,255 --> 00:11:57,402
Now, I finance films,
primarily in the Balkans,

260
00:11:57,426 --> 00:11:58,945
once in North Korea.

261
00:11:58,969 --> 00:12:01,030
It's probably hard
to get permits over there?

262
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:04,367
Permits are for cowards.

263
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:08,830
Your outline... is dangerous.

264
00:12:08,854 --> 00:12:10,373
It's violent.

265
00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:11,958
It's almost no narrative
that makes

266
00:12:11,982 --> 00:12:14,919
sense to a regular human being.

267
00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:17,852
I am not
the regular human being. No.

268
00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:22,927
- I am Karl Stromberg.
- Yeah.

269
00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:24,859
And that is why...

270
00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:28,863
I will finance
this film for you.

271
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,769
What did you just say to me?

272
00:12:31,793 --> 00:12:33,229
You're telling me
that you're going

273
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:36,149
to finance my goddamn movie?

274
00:12:36,173 --> 00:12:39,152
Dude, you just made my day, man!

275
00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:41,070
And I don't have to do my pitch!
Because my pitch is expensive.

276
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:42,780
I ain't going to
break all this glass

277
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:44,407
and stuff in here, because
I know I got to pay for it.

278
00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:45,700
Dude! You just...

279
00:12:45,724 --> 00:12:47,243
I was in a dark place, Karl.

280
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,078
I was in a real dark place, man.

281
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:51,247
You just pulled me
out of a dark place.

282
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,707
Because people
underestimate you.

283
00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:53,958
Yeah.

284
00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:56,502
When you left comedy
for the action,

285
00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:58,045
they said you'd fail.

286
00:12:58,069 --> 00:12:59,630
Did they?

287
00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:02,564
When you fired your stuntman
to do your own stunts...

288
00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:04,594
they said you would fail.

289
00:13:04,618 --> 00:13:05,887
You heard about that?

290
00:13:05,911 --> 00:13:07,638
Everyone heard about that.

291
00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:09,640
It's only you and Tom Cruise
who do your own stunts now.

292
00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:11,893
That's... that's a fact.

293
00:13:11,917 --> 00:13:14,187
Two peas in a pod, man.
What's going on?

294
00:13:14,211 --> 00:13:16,397
What you doing?

295
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:17,996
This film, Kevin...

296
00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:23,863
will put you
in your own category.

297
00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:29,452
One pea in one pod.

298
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:30,995
Yes, right.

299
00:13:31,019 --> 00:13:33,052
That's right.
One pea, one pod.

300
00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:36,501
Hell, yeah.

301
00:13:36,525 --> 00:13:38,002
That's what
it's supposed to be, Karl.

302
00:13:38,026 --> 00:13:39,462
You know what, man?
I know we just met,

303
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:42,089
but I feel like
I've known you for a long time,

304
00:13:42,113 --> 00:13:43,549
because you get me.

305
00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:45,426
I'm so sick of this...

306
00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:49,639
this CG and this
green screen shit!

307
00:13:49,663 --> 00:13:51,724
So what'd you think of
the story, Karl? About me...

308
00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:54,310
No one watches movies
for the story.

309
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:55,728
Yeah.

310
00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:57,619
They watch it for the action.

311
00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:00,955
And the nudity.

312
00:14:02,968 --> 00:14:04,737
I don't really...

313
00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:07,698
I don't really have
any dick in my script.

314
00:14:07,722 --> 00:14:09,158
But if you want some,
if you feel like people want

315
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,869
to see dick,
I can add some dick.

316
00:14:11,893 --> 00:14:13,955
I can... I'm not afraid
to go full frontal.

317
00:14:13,979 --> 00:14:15,957
I'll do it. Right?

318
00:14:15,981 --> 00:14:17,542
If that's what the people want.

319
00:14:17,566 --> 00:14:19,544
My biggest thing, though,
is the action, man.

320
00:14:19,568 --> 00:14:21,170
I just don't...
I don't want to see it coming.

321
00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:22,880
Right?
I want to be caught off guard.

322
00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:24,757
- You will shit your pants!
- What you talkin' about?

323
00:14:24,781 --> 00:14:27,677
We will have a change of pants
available at all times

324
00:14:27,701 --> 00:14:31,097
for when you shit your pants.

325
00:14:31,121 --> 00:14:33,057
Because I'm scared.

326
00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:34,725
- You will shit.
- I... I will shit.

327
00:14:34,749 --> 00:14:36,394
- You will shit...
- Yeah.

328
00:14:36,418 --> 00:14:37,895
- Your pants.
- I'll shit my goddamn pants.

329
00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:39,855
You will shit!

330
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,607
- I want to shit!
- You will shit.

331
00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:42,984
Alright! I wanna shit!

332
00:14:43,008 --> 00:14:45,069
- You wanna shit?
- Yeah! I will shit!

333
00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:47,154
You shit your pants!

334
00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:49,824
I'm ready
to shit my pants, Karl!

335
00:14:49,848 --> 00:14:53,995
I want to shit my pants!
Right now!

336
00:14:54,019 --> 00:14:56,706
When... when do we start
so I can shit!

337
00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:58,749
We already have.

338
00:14:58,773 --> 00:15:00,890
There's a camera hidden
right behind you.

339
00:15:05,030 --> 00:15:07,883
I think I see it!

340
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:10,567
The little... the black...
the space with the black, right?

341
00:16:02,837 --> 00:16:04,357
Back up!

342
00:16:04,381 --> 00:16:06,067
Get your ass back!

343
00:16:06,091 --> 00:16:07,276
I don't know who you think
you messing with,

344
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:08,569
but I tell you, you got...

345
00:16:08,593 --> 00:16:10,279
Shit!

346
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:12,823
He going to fucking eat my ass!

347
00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:15,076
He going to eat my ass and
set me on fire or some shit,

348
00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:16,619
ain't you?

349
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:19,288
Who are you?

350
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:21,624
Where am I?
Tell me... tell me where I'm at!

351
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:23,834
Who...
Wait a minute.

352
00:16:23,858 --> 00:16:26,142
Do you work,
you work for Karl Stromberg?

353
00:16:30,740 --> 00:16:32,899
I said, do you work
for Karl Stromberg?

354
00:16:38,039 --> 00:16:39,489
Okay.

355
00:16:41,084 --> 00:16:43,604
Okay. Okay, we in it.

356
00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:45,731
This is it.
We're doing it.

357
00:16:45,755 --> 00:16:48,192
Okay, Karl!
I like it! I like it!

358
00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:50,236
Um, okay, shit.

359
00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:52,238
Okay, let me see. Where...
where are we in the script?

360
00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:54,198
God, my adrenaline's
flowing so much.

361
00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:57,410
You got me! I thought you was
really trying to eat my ass!

362
00:16:57,434 --> 00:16:59,829
Alright.
Okay, three, two, one.

363
00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:01,247
Okay.

364
00:17:01,271 --> 00:17:03,888
Rice, peas, carrots, let's go.

365
00:17:08,987 --> 00:17:12,133
You know, I've been searching
the globe for you.

366
00:17:12,157 --> 00:17:15,191
You're a hard man to find,
Mr. Bartholomew.

367
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:22,977
I think you got a line.

368
00:17:23,001 --> 00:17:25,271
You got a line!

369
00:17:25,295 --> 00:17:28,232
You say your part,
and I'll react off of that.

370
00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:30,943
Because what you say
sets me up to now have my...

371
00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:34,655
Unless you're not union. Or...
Is he union or no?

372
00:17:34,679 --> 00:17:37,074
Guys?
Can you not just...

373
00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:38,492
Okay.

374
00:17:38,516 --> 00:17:40,536
Rewrite.
There must have been pink pages.

375
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,635
Okay.
Let me get back in.

376
00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:47,543
What you going to do with those?

377
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:49,879
Chop off my finger?

378
00:17:49,903 --> 00:17:51,894
Cut off my leg?
My foot?

379
00:17:53,364 --> 00:17:56,441
Newsflash, I only need
one foot to kick your ass.

380
00:17:57,702 --> 00:18:01,724
That is a trailer moment!
Guys! I only...

381
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:04,185
<i>Good evening.</i>

382
00:18:04,209 --> 00:18:07,605
<i>Do not use the shears
on this man.</i>

383
00:18:07,629 --> 00:18:09,190
Is that...
is that the producer?

384
00:18:09,214 --> 00:18:10,900
Is that Karl? Karl!

385
00:18:10,924 --> 00:18:14,278
<i>He must atone for his sins.</i>

386
00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:16,697
What is that?
Atone for my... I don't know...

387
00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:18,616
<i>He must feel the pain</i>

388
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:20,673
<i>he has made others feel.</i>

389
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,915
Yeah, I'm lost, guys.
I don't know where we are.

390
00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:28,042
Um, if we're going
to do rewrites,

391
00:18:28,066 --> 00:18:29,960
you guys got to
give me the pages.

392
00:18:29,984 --> 00:18:31,744
I'll stay in it.
I'll stay in it.

393
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,092
Okay, alright. Okay.

394
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:38,844
Why don't we... why don't we
take it easy?

395
00:18:38,868 --> 00:18:40,304
Because I know why you're mad?

396
00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:41,555
You're mad because...
Stop right there.

397
00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:43,098
Let's stop right there.
No, no, no.

398
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:45,434
Let's make that your mark.
Nope, stop right there.

399
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:48,729
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa! Hey!

400
00:18:48,753 --> 00:18:49,980
<i>Count to ten.</i>

401
00:18:50,004 --> 00:18:51,398
No, fuck you! Wait!

402
00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:53,943
Hey, hey, hey!
Hey, hey! Hey, man!

403
00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:56,529
Hey!
No, no, don't cut my dick!

404
00:18:56,553 --> 00:18:58,948
Don't cut my dick!
That's not... Okay, use it.

405
00:18:58,972 --> 00:19:00,922
I'mma use it!
Stay in it.

406
00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:05,426
Yeah!

407
00:19:13,987 --> 00:19:15,561
<i>Two.</i>

408
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,592
Come on!

409
00:19:18,616 --> 00:19:19,856
Come on!

410
00:19:33,298 --> 00:19:34,859
Damn it!

411
00:19:34,883 --> 00:19:36,541
No, not today.

412
00:19:37,594 --> 00:19:39,196
Yeah!

413
00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:41,031
Did we get it?

414
00:19:41,055 --> 00:19:43,826
Spin it!
We got it!

415
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:46,008
Yeah!

416
00:19:49,397 --> 00:19:51,305
Comin' to beat
your ass, Montoya.

417
00:19:52,483 --> 00:19:55,393
This set's incredible.
So good.

418
00:19:57,864 --> 00:19:59,758
Shit!

419
00:19:59,782 --> 00:20:01,607
It's Montoya's men.

420
00:20:14,172 --> 00:20:16,038
Jordan?
The hell are you doing here?

421
00:20:19,928 --> 00:20:21,697
Son of a bitch!

422
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:23,949
Did they hurt you? Did they hurt you?

423
00:20:23,973 --> 00:20:26,285
Kevin, what the hell
is going on?

424
00:20:26,309 --> 00:20:28,746
The uranium heist.
That's what's going on.

425
00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:31,498
- Wait, what?
- I already handled Bartholomew.

426
00:20:31,522 --> 00:20:35,711
But General Montoya, he's not
going to let us off as easy.

427
00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:38,339
What the hell
are you talking about?

428
00:20:38,363 --> 00:20:39,423
Shit!

429
00:20:39,447 --> 00:20:41,175
I was walking my dog,

430
00:20:41,199 --> 00:20:42,843
and someone hit me
in the fucking neck

431
00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:44,511
with a tranquillizer dart!

432
00:20:44,535 --> 00:20:46,639
And I ended up here.

433
00:20:46,663 --> 00:20:48,307
What are you talking about?

434
00:20:48,331 --> 00:20:49,934
You didn't talk
to Karl Stromberg?

435
00:20:49,958 --> 00:20:51,310
Who?

436
00:20:51,334 --> 00:20:53,646
Karl Stromberg about the movie?

437
00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:56,065
Right now, we're in it!
This is the movie!

438
00:20:56,089 --> 00:20:57,441
It's a live-action movie!

439
00:20:57,465 --> 00:20:59,777
We're improving
all the action scenes!

440
00:20:59,801 --> 00:21:02,321
No green screen,
no fucking cables.

441
00:21:02,345 --> 00:21:04,073
It's real, raw.

442
00:21:04,097 --> 00:21:05,532
He's going to take
my acting career

443
00:21:05,556 --> 00:21:07,201
and my action status
to the next level.

444
00:21:07,225 --> 00:21:08,911
So this is all your fault?

445
00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:10,704
Well, I mean, it's my script.

446
00:21:10,728 --> 00:21:12,665
It took me I don't know how
long to develop it. But Karl...

447
00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:14,333
- What the hell is your problem!
- Stop!

448
00:21:14,357 --> 00:21:15,709
What is wrong with you?

449
00:21:15,733 --> 00:21:17,169
Shit! Annoying!

450
00:21:17,193 --> 00:21:19,296
Stop. Shit!
That's sharp!

451
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:21,256
How long were you
laying on that?

452
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:22,758
Damn it!

453
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:24,593
Now, why you got an attitude?

454
00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:27,888
This is a simple outline!
It's a layup!

455
00:21:27,912 --> 00:21:30,099
Okay?
I'm a triple agent.

456
00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:32,685
MI-7.
I'm the highest of high, right?

457
00:21:32,709 --> 00:21:34,353
Like, you can't get higher
than where I am.

458
00:21:34,377 --> 00:21:36,313
But you... you're
my love interest.

459
00:21:36,337 --> 00:21:37,690
They took you hostage because
they knew that's the only way

460
00:21:37,714 --> 00:21:39,108
to get to me.

461
00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:40,901
So now, I'm here,
and I got to get you.

462
00:21:40,925 --> 00:21:42,486
- You understand what...
- You're pathetic.

463
00:21:42,510 --> 00:21:45,364
And I'm pretty sure
that kidnapping is a felony.

464
00:21:45,388 --> 00:21:47,616
Well, I'm pretty sure
that when you're an adult,

465
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,118
they don't call it kidnapping.

466
00:21:49,142 --> 00:21:51,203
So that's...
That's pathetic.

467
00:21:51,227 --> 00:21:52,705
Fuck you, Kevin.

468
00:21:52,729 --> 00:21:54,832
What do you mean fuck me?
Why are you at me?

469
00:21:54,856 --> 00:21:56,625
You should be mad at
Karl Stromberg! Not me!

470
00:21:56,649 --> 00:21:58,544
I do not know who that is!

471
00:21:58,568 --> 00:22:00,476
Shh!

472
00:22:04,198 --> 00:22:05,843
You don't want him to hear you.

473
00:22:05,867 --> 00:22:07,761
Who?
Who will hear me?

474
00:22:07,785 --> 00:22:10,639
There's no one here!
And do not say Karl Stromberg.

475
00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:12,558
Are you saying Strum or Strom?

476
00:22:12,582 --> 00:22:14,143
Is it Strum or Stromberg?
Because I don't know.

477
00:22:14,167 --> 00:22:16,395
Okay, hey, hey, hey.

478
00:22:16,419 --> 00:22:18,272
There are cameras everywhere.

479
00:22:18,296 --> 00:22:20,149
We're filming a movie!

480
00:22:20,173 --> 00:22:21,567
Where?

481
00:22:21,591 --> 00:22:24,862
Where?
There are no cameras anywhere!

482
00:22:24,886 --> 00:22:27,990
Will you look around?
There's cameras everywhere!

483
00:22:28,014 --> 00:22:29,742
Okay, listen. Listen.

484
00:22:29,766 --> 00:22:32,828
All I need you to do is
just grasp what's going on.

485
00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:35,164
This is a big opportunity
for both of us.

486
00:22:35,188 --> 00:22:37,958
Okay? Just get in character.

487
00:22:37,982 --> 00:22:39,890
Please?

488
00:22:43,696 --> 00:22:46,175
They got this place locked down
tighter than Fort Knox.

489
00:22:46,199 --> 00:22:48,802
God.
You wrote this dialogue?

490
00:22:48,826 --> 00:22:52,014
Those motherfuckers knew
I would come rescue you.

491
00:22:52,038 --> 00:22:54,739
Beautiful damsel in distress
like yourself.

492
00:22:56,292 --> 00:23:00,022
Yep.
Thank you for rescuing me.

493
00:23:00,046 --> 00:23:04,193
Just like any woman,
I wouldn't know what to do

494
00:23:04,217 --> 00:23:08,238
if a man didn't show up
to save me and tell me to eat

495
00:23:08,262 --> 00:23:11,033
so I don't starve and breathe
oxygen, so I don't suffocate.

496
00:23:11,057 --> 00:23:13,368
Let's cut. Let's cut.

497
00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:15,079
Can we cut?

498
00:23:15,103 --> 00:23:16,677
Can you work with me?

499
00:23:17,688 --> 00:23:21,001
- I'd rather not.
- Please.

500
00:23:21,025 --> 00:23:22,878
- Thank you.
- Okay.

501
00:23:22,902 --> 00:23:25,005
Alright, guys, we're
going to go again. Alright?

502
00:23:25,029 --> 00:23:26,270
Self-action.

503
00:23:27,907 --> 00:23:30,427
Do you have any idea what's on
the other side of that door?

504
00:23:30,451 --> 00:23:32,805
There are some dangerous men
on the other side of that door.

505
00:23:32,829 --> 00:23:36,225
I'm talking mercenaries,
killers, ninjas,

506
00:23:36,249 --> 00:23:37,893
failed karate school
instructors,

507
00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:39,353
people that want
to do bad things to me

508
00:23:39,377 --> 00:23:41,271
just because they can.

509
00:23:41,295 --> 00:23:44,538
There's a bounty
on my fucking head.

510
00:23:46,551 --> 00:23:48,626
I'll tell you what, Esmeralda.

511
00:23:50,304 --> 00:23:52,533
I'll pay that bounty.

512
00:23:52,557 --> 00:23:56,328
And I will give them my head...
if it meant saving your life

513
00:23:56,352 --> 00:23:58,038
so that you can
finish med school

514
00:23:58,062 --> 00:23:59,832
and open up that clinic that
you always wanted to...

515
00:23:59,856 --> 00:24:01,708
Shit!

516
00:24:01,732 --> 00:24:03,669
Open up that clinic
that you always wanted...

517
00:24:03,693 --> 00:24:05,309
Esmeralda, wait.

518
00:24:06,863 --> 00:24:09,939
Esmeralda! Hey!

519
00:24:12,285 --> 00:24:15,055
You fucking piece of shit!

520
00:24:15,079 --> 00:24:17,266
You leave her out of it,
you hear me?

521
00:24:17,290 --> 00:24:19,643
She's got nothing
to do with this.

522
00:24:19,667 --> 00:24:24,787
This is between me, you, and the
78,000 kilos of stolen uranium.

523
00:24:25,882 --> 00:24:28,610
Alright.
That's how you want to have it?

524
00:24:28,634 --> 00:24:31,488
Let's have at it.

525
00:24:31,512 --> 00:24:33,407
I'm so over this.

526
00:24:33,431 --> 00:24:35,993
Kevin, next time you have
a terrible movie idea,

527
00:24:36,017 --> 00:24:37,786
leave me out of it, yeah?

528
00:24:37,810 --> 00:24:39,510
Shit!

529
00:24:43,065 --> 00:24:45,502
I'm sorry, but did
this central casting goon

530
00:24:45,526 --> 00:24:48,797
just hit me in the face
with a real fucking ass... Cut.

531
00:24:48,821 --> 00:24:51,091
No, no, no, we need
to cut right now!

532
00:24:51,115 --> 00:24:52,843
I don't know what weird
production this is,

533
00:24:52,867 --> 00:24:54,859
but I need to speak
to a producer!

534
00:25:06,339 --> 00:25:07,997
Is that all you've got?

535
00:25:09,592 --> 00:25:11,792
Jordan.
Let me get in there now.

536
00:25:13,471 --> 00:25:15,880
Slam his ass!

537
00:25:18,559 --> 00:25:20,954
Jordan!
Let my character get some!

538
00:25:20,978 --> 00:25:22,511
Tag me in!

539
00:25:27,985 --> 00:25:29,935
Damn!

540
00:25:36,244 --> 00:25:37,554
Hold it.

541
00:25:37,578 --> 00:25:39,153
Hold it.

542
00:25:42,875 --> 00:25:44,241
Yeah!

543
00:25:45,544 --> 00:25:47,731
Whoa! We got that!

544
00:25:47,755 --> 00:25:49,191
What a scene!

545
00:25:49,215 --> 00:25:51,610
Good job!
Here.

546
00:25:51,634 --> 00:25:52,945
I think I'm the one
that was supposed

547
00:25:52,969 --> 00:25:54,363
to kick his ass, though.

548
00:25:54,387 --> 00:25:55,864
Because I'm the lead.

549
00:25:55,888 --> 00:25:57,157
So I'm quite sure that
was supposed to be me.

550
00:25:57,181 --> 00:25:58,589
But we'll fix it in post...

551
00:26:00,017 --> 00:26:02,676
Go, go, go! Go!

552
00:26:08,192 --> 00:26:09,586
That guy was trying to kill me!

553
00:26:09,610 --> 00:26:11,004
Kevin, not acting!

554
00:26:11,028 --> 00:26:12,839
Not a movie!
Literally trying to kill me!

555
00:26:12,863 --> 00:26:15,259
No. It's cinema verité.

556
00:26:15,283 --> 00:26:16,802
I know it's a little different,
but that's what it is.

557
00:26:16,826 --> 00:26:19,388
Different? A little fucking
different, Kevin?

558
00:26:19,412 --> 00:26:21,098
- Wow, shit!
- Are you okay?

559
00:26:21,122 --> 00:26:23,475
Yeah, I know you're just
trying to get me to apologize.

560
00:26:23,499 --> 00:26:25,852
- Just give me a second. What?
- Kevin.

561
00:26:25,876 --> 00:26:28,953
You've been hit.
With a real fucking bullet!

562
00:26:30,715 --> 00:26:32,526
That's not real blood.

563
00:26:32,550 --> 00:26:34,027
What?

564
00:26:34,051 --> 00:26:35,904
- Of course it's real blood!
- No. Taste it.

565
00:26:35,928 --> 00:26:37,531
I'm not going
to taste your blood, Kevin!

566
00:26:37,555 --> 00:26:39,783
You can! You can!
It's pig's blood!

567
00:26:39,807 --> 00:26:42,202
It's not my blood.

568
00:26:42,226 --> 00:26:43,662
Does that feel fake?

569
00:26:43,686 --> 00:26:47,040
Shit! Shit, shit.

570
00:26:47,064 --> 00:26:48,792
I gotta lay down!

571
00:26:48,816 --> 00:26:50,599
I gotta lay down!

572
00:26:51,861 --> 00:26:53,672
Kevin!

573
00:26:53,696 --> 00:26:55,090
Kevin!

574
00:26:55,114 --> 00:26:56,883
No, no, no, no, no!
Wait, look!

575
00:26:56,907 --> 00:26:59,400
There's a photographer! Look.
He wants your picture! See?

576
00:27:00,161 --> 00:27:03,445
Go on! What the fuck!

577
00:27:05,333 --> 00:27:06,852
If I had what now?

578
00:27:06,876 --> 00:27:08,729
Just an unexpected accident

579
00:27:08,753 --> 00:27:11,565
with a very small,

580
00:27:11,589 --> 00:27:15,319
flying, fast, like projectile
object through his shoulder.

581
00:27:15,343 --> 00:27:16,528
And I just think
some painkillers

582
00:27:16,552 --> 00:27:17,792
would really help him.

583
00:27:18,846 --> 00:27:20,324
I know I don't have
a prescription,

584
00:27:20,348 --> 00:27:22,298
but I can assure you,
this is an emergency.

585
00:27:24,143 --> 00:27:25,801
I see.

586
00:27:28,731 --> 00:27:30,500
You want to score
some good drugs?

587
00:27:30,524 --> 00:27:33,295
Some xannies,
some ox, chuckle heads,

588
00:27:33,319 --> 00:27:35,922
wet Garys, Shriek and
Jimmy's, moon pie, spider pie?

589
00:27:35,946 --> 00:27:37,591
Look, I'm not a drug addict!

590
00:27:37,615 --> 00:27:39,843
I'm an actor!
Don't you recognize me?

591
00:27:39,867 --> 00:27:41,887
Um...

592
00:27:41,911 --> 00:27:43,555
Okay, it doesn't matter.
Alright?

593
00:27:43,579 --> 00:27:45,182
My idiot friend got shot
with a real bullet,

594
00:27:45,206 --> 00:27:47,642
an actual fucking bullet
from an actual fucking gun!

595
00:27:47,666 --> 00:27:49,394
And now, he's bleeding out
in your alleyway!

596
00:27:49,418 --> 00:27:51,730
And if you don't help me
help him,

597
00:27:51,754 --> 00:27:53,871
you're going to have
a body on your hands!

598
00:27:55,925 --> 00:27:58,250
Would I know him from anywhere?

599
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:01,560
<i>You're lucky it just grazed you.</i>

600
00:28:02,890 --> 00:28:05,494
Here.
It's the best I could do.

601
00:28:05,518 --> 00:28:08,455
- The hell is this?
- It's for the pain.

602
00:28:08,479 --> 00:28:11,333
Pharmacist was
a real piece of work.

603
00:28:11,357 --> 00:28:12,542
Well, you're a piece of work
for bringing

604
00:28:12,566 --> 00:28:14,086
this out here to me.

605
00:28:14,110 --> 00:28:16,088
I can't drink this.
This is my competitor!

606
00:28:16,112 --> 00:28:18,382
You got to go back in there
and ask for Grand Cormino.

607
00:28:18,406 --> 00:28:19,716
Are you being serious right now?

608
00:28:19,740 --> 00:28:21,551
Kevin, you've been shot!
I was kidnapped!

609
00:28:21,575 --> 00:28:24,554
- Grown woman acting. Okay.
- You need to fix this!

610
00:28:24,578 --> 00:28:28,517
- You need to fix this now!
- I told you, I can't! Okay?

611
00:28:28,541 --> 00:28:29,810
Even if I wanted to,
I can't do it.

612
00:28:29,834 --> 00:28:31,895
And by the way,
it's all by design.

613
00:28:31,919 --> 00:28:34,147
I gave all the rights
over to Karl Stromberg,

614
00:28:34,171 --> 00:28:37,401
who is a great precious
metals magnate.

615
00:28:37,425 --> 00:28:38,902
You do hear
how that sounds, right?

616
00:28:38,926 --> 00:28:41,238
You... you hear the words?

617
00:28:41,262 --> 00:28:42,920
You know, Andre was right.

618
00:28:43,722 --> 00:28:45,283
Andre, your assistant?

619
00:28:45,307 --> 00:28:49,329
Yes, my assistant.
No, my former assistant.

620
00:28:49,353 --> 00:28:51,706
He was right, though.
You know what we're going to do?

621
00:28:51,730 --> 00:28:54,584
We're going to pay
Karl Stromberg a visit.

622
00:28:54,608 --> 00:28:56,336
Yeah, that's exactly
what we're going to do.

623
00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:58,171
We're going to tell him
he needs to get back on book.

624
00:28:58,195 --> 00:29:02,134
Because right now, he's not
following my guidelines at all.

625
00:29:02,158 --> 00:29:03,552
And we're all over the place.

626
00:29:03,576 --> 00:29:05,303
In order for this movie
to be the best thing

627
00:29:05,327 --> 00:29:08,140
that we know that it can be,
we got to get back on pace.

628
00:29:08,164 --> 00:29:10,197
Okay?
We're paying him a visit.

629
00:29:12,460 --> 00:29:14,646
Well, at least my car
is still here.

630
00:29:14,670 --> 00:29:16,022
Yeah, but it's the only one.

631
00:29:16,046 --> 00:29:17,482
This place is dead.

632
00:29:17,506 --> 00:29:19,818
Yes, because it's the weekend.
That's why.

633
00:29:19,842 --> 00:29:21,834
Kevin, it's Tuesday.

634
00:29:27,016 --> 00:29:28,674
Wait, what the fuck?

635
00:29:30,186 --> 00:29:31,371
Kevin, it doesn't look
like anyone's

636
00:29:31,395 --> 00:29:33,165
been here for weeks.

637
00:29:33,189 --> 00:29:34,583
No, that's not true.

638
00:29:34,607 --> 00:29:36,710
I was just here.
I was just here.

639
00:29:36,734 --> 00:29:38,837
Stromberg was right there.
Okay?

640
00:29:38,861 --> 00:29:40,797
That was the last week, or it
may have been a week before.

641
00:29:40,821 --> 00:29:42,174
I don't know what week
it was, because I

642
00:29:42,198 --> 00:29:44,050
got knocked the fuck out.
But I was here.

643
00:29:44,074 --> 00:29:46,386
He was sitting at a desk,
right here.

644
00:29:46,410 --> 00:29:48,610
This is where he was.
He was...

645
00:29:55,628 --> 00:29:57,731
You will shit your pants!

646
00:29:57,755 --> 00:29:59,441
I'm not crazy.

647
00:29:59,465 --> 00:30:01,151
I knew he was here.

648
00:30:01,175 --> 00:30:02,861
Would I have this
if he wasn't here?

649
00:30:02,885 --> 00:30:04,613
It's the butt to his cigar.

650
00:30:04,637 --> 00:30:06,072
You know what he was doing?

651
00:30:06,096 --> 00:30:08,617
He was doing real weird
stuff with the cigar,

652
00:30:08,641 --> 00:30:11,995
licking it, putting it in his
nose, slobbering all on it.

653
00:30:12,019 --> 00:30:13,872
I was watching him
while he was doing it.

654
00:30:13,896 --> 00:30:15,081
Closing his eyes.

655
00:30:15,105 --> 00:30:17,055
All of a sudden...

656
00:30:19,860 --> 00:30:21,213
<i>Why did you have to drag me</i>

657
00:30:21,237 --> 00:30:24,090
into your stupid fantasy
death wish movie?

658
00:30:24,114 --> 00:30:25,634
What are you talking about?

659
00:30:25,658 --> 00:30:27,511
All I said was think
somebody like Jordan King.

660
00:30:27,535 --> 00:30:29,346
Keyword, "think."
It was a suggestion.

661
00:30:29,370 --> 00:30:31,056
Great.
Thanks for the suggestion.

662
00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:32,641
He probably wanted you
because you're one

663
00:30:32,665 --> 00:30:34,267
of the biggest stars in Sweden.
What if that's the case?

664
00:30:34,291 --> 00:30:36,019
I'm pretty sure Greta Thunberg

665
00:30:36,043 --> 00:30:37,479
is the biggest star in Sweden.

666
00:30:37,503 --> 00:30:38,855
The environmental activist?

667
00:30:38,879 --> 00:30:40,759
Yeah, they have
their priorities straight.

668
00:30:41,715 --> 00:30:43,248
Hey, whoa.

669
00:30:44,468 --> 00:30:46,460
Wait a minute. Come here.
What's this?

670
00:30:47,263 --> 00:30:48,503
Look.

671
00:30:49,390 --> 00:30:50,798
Look, will you just look?

672
00:30:59,483 --> 00:31:01,225
The hell is this?

673
00:31:03,279 --> 00:31:06,091
Whoa. It's the VHS.

674
00:31:06,115 --> 00:31:08,148
I haven't seen one
of these in years.

675
00:31:14,290 --> 00:31:17,352
Hey, it's Brian Penn from
Buchwald Associates reading fo...

676
00:31:17,376 --> 00:31:19,729
Um, I'm sorry,
is it Stromberg or...

677
00:31:19,753 --> 00:31:21,856
- That's Karl Stromberg!
<i>- It's Stromberg.</i>

678
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:23,817
It's him! I mean, he...

679
00:31:23,841 --> 00:31:25,318
It's different hair,
but it's him!

680
00:31:25,342 --> 00:31:29,864
Bring me this man,
this... Kevin Hart.

681
00:31:29,888 --> 00:31:31,866
I... I'm actually going
to go thicker.

682
00:31:31,890 --> 00:31:34,160
Kevin, it's an audition tape.

683
00:31:34,184 --> 00:31:37,080
Yeah, well, obviously.
I can see that.

684
00:31:37,104 --> 00:31:38,707
I see that
it's an audition tape.

685
00:31:38,731 --> 00:31:40,625
The question is, why?
Why is it an audition tape?

686
00:31:40,649 --> 00:31:43,587
My god. Wait a minute,
is Karl Stromberg even real?

687
00:31:43,611 --> 00:31:45,422
What, you didn't
Google him before the meeting?

688
00:31:45,446 --> 00:31:47,090
He's from Sweden.

689
00:31:47,114 --> 00:31:48,883
You want me to go all the
way to Sweden and Google?

690
00:31:48,907 --> 00:31:50,969
That's ridiculous. Stop.

691
00:31:50,993 --> 00:31:52,484
Are you on drugs?

692
00:31:57,791 --> 00:31:59,533
Quick, answer it!

693
00:32:08,218 --> 00:32:09,571
Hello?

694
00:32:09,595 --> 00:32:11,781
<i>Hello, Mr. Action Star.</i>

695
00:32:11,805 --> 00:32:13,742
<i>Congratulations.
You escaped.</i>

696
00:32:13,766 --> 00:32:16,244
Do you know
you shot me with a real bullet?

697
00:32:16,268 --> 00:32:17,621
<i>Of course I know.</i>

698
00:32:17,645 --> 00:32:19,331
<i>That bullet was
meant to kill you.</i>

699
00:32:19,355 --> 00:32:20,790
That's stupid.

700
00:32:20,814 --> 00:32:22,459
You kill me, and then
you don't have a movie.

701
00:32:22,483 --> 00:32:24,336
<i>You moron.
There is no movie.</i>

702
00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:25,712
<i>There never was.</i>

703
00:32:25,736 --> 00:32:27,047
What do you mean
there's no movie?

704
00:32:27,071 --> 00:32:28,465
You'd better stop
talking like that.

705
00:32:28,489 --> 00:32:30,175
That's blasphemy,
and you know it.

706
00:32:30,199 --> 00:32:32,302
There is a movie.
Okay, who is this?

707
00:32:32,326 --> 00:32:33,845
Are you the producer?

708
00:32:33,869 --> 00:32:35,680
<i>You have forgotten who you are,</i>

709
00:32:35,704 --> 00:32:37,641
<i>where you came from.</i>

710
00:32:37,665 --> 00:32:39,643
I didn't... didn't anybody
forget where they came from.

711
00:32:39,667 --> 00:32:41,353
<i>Then what was the name</i>

712
00:32:41,377 --> 00:32:43,744
<i>of your first elementary
school teacher?</i>

713
00:32:47,424 --> 00:32:49,110
Ms. Foxen.

714
00:32:49,134 --> 00:32:51,613
No, Ms. Clarkson... Clarkson...
Clarkson.

715
00:32:51,637 --> 00:32:53,365
Yeah, Ms. Clarkson.

716
00:32:53,389 --> 00:32:54,949
<i>And the hospital
where you were born?</i>

717
00:32:54,973 --> 00:32:56,368
What does that have to do
with anything?

718
00:32:56,392 --> 00:32:58,008
<i>The name.</i>

719
00:32:59,728 --> 00:33:01,790
Go on.

720
00:33:01,814 --> 00:33:05,585
Saint Falkenstein.

721
00:33:05,609 --> 00:33:08,129
- That sounds wrong.
- Saint Falkenstein Hospital.

722
00:33:08,153 --> 00:33:10,173
What... Hey!
Enough of this shit!

723
00:33:10,197 --> 00:33:12,008
Cut the shit!
Who are you?

724
00:33:12,032 --> 00:33:13,551
Who the fuck are you?

725
00:33:13,575 --> 00:33:15,220
<i>I'm the person who's brought</i>

726
00:33:15,244 --> 00:33:16,596
<i>an end to your life.</i>

727
00:33:16,620 --> 00:33:18,181
<i>You are no longer cared for.</i>

728
00:33:18,205 --> 00:33:20,308
<i>- You're worth nothing.</i>
- Excuse me.

729
00:33:20,332 --> 00:33:22,783
Can I ask why I've been
dragged into this?

730
00:33:24,503 --> 00:33:27,065
Great, Kevin! You took all
the phone time with him!

731
00:33:27,089 --> 00:33:28,608
I'm sorry.

732
00:33:28,632 --> 00:33:30,193
Excuse the fuck out of me
for trying to figure out

733
00:33:30,217 --> 00:33:32,320
what was going on with my life,
trying to hear

734
00:33:32,344 --> 00:33:34,197
a serial killer voice out.

735
00:33:34,221 --> 00:33:35,865
I'm sorry that
I inconvenienced you!

736
00:33:35,889 --> 00:33:38,118
- Shh! Shh!
- Goddamn it, Jordan!

737
00:33:38,142 --> 00:33:40,050
Shh! Do you hear that?

738
00:33:43,230 --> 00:33:45,250
It's the VCR.

739
00:33:45,274 --> 00:33:47,140
What the fuck?

740
00:33:48,444 --> 00:33:50,547
Fuck, it's a bomb.

741
00:33:50,571 --> 00:33:52,632
- What?
- It's a fucking bomb.

742
00:33:52,656 --> 00:33:54,008
Well, disarm it!

743
00:33:54,032 --> 00:33:55,427
You fucking disarm it!

744
00:33:55,451 --> 00:33:57,011
Yeah, 'cause
I know how to disarm a bomb.

745
00:33:57,035 --> 00:33:59,097
I do 'cause I'm Black?
That's what you think?

746
00:33:59,121 --> 00:34:00,598
Every Black man know
how to disarm a bomb?

747
00:34:00,622 --> 00:34:01,933
That is not a thing, Kevin.

748
00:34:01,957 --> 00:34:03,309
I bet it's not a thing.

749
00:34:03,333 --> 00:34:05,367
Get your racist ass back.
Move, move!

750
00:34:06,378 --> 00:34:07,981
Quick, quick, quick. Come on.

751
00:34:08,005 --> 00:34:11,359
My God.
Open it, open it.

752
00:34:11,383 --> 00:34:13,417
Pull, pull!

753
00:34:16,555 --> 00:34:18,296
Hold it, hold it, hold it.

754
00:34:22,311 --> 00:34:24,456
Back.
Get back, get back, get back!

755
00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:25,929
Shit.

756
00:34:32,029 --> 00:34:33,965
Okay.

757
00:34:33,989 --> 00:34:35,884
Well, I guess it
is just a movie.

758
00:34:35,908 --> 00:34:37,733
Yeah, and that was a fake bomb...

759
00:34:38,786 --> 00:34:40,360
Whoa!

760
00:34:48,796 --> 00:34:50,190
Where's my keys?

761
00:34:50,214 --> 00:34:51,608
- My god!
- You're okay.

762
00:34:51,632 --> 00:34:53,067
You're okay.
What was that sound?

763
00:34:53,091 --> 00:34:54,861
Andre? What the hell are
you doing here?

764
00:34:54,885 --> 00:34:56,321
- Come on, go.
- What are you talking about?

765
00:34:56,345 --> 00:34:57,572
- We gotta go.
- I'll get the door for you.

766
00:34:57,596 --> 00:34:59,073
Go now!

767
00:34:59,097 --> 00:35:01,034
Kevin, that was
a real fucking bomb.

768
00:35:01,058 --> 00:35:02,744
A real fucking bomb!

769
00:35:02,768 --> 00:35:04,496
Okay, Jordan, well, can you
put yourself in my shoes?

770
00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:05,997
I will not, no. No.

771
00:35:06,021 --> 00:35:07,415
I do not have to do that.
Do you know what?

772
00:35:07,439 --> 00:35:10,001
Just shut up.
Shut the fuck up.

773
00:35:10,025 --> 00:35:12,712
Hey, Jordan. I'm Andre.
I don't know if you remember me.

774
00:35:12,736 --> 00:35:14,005
Hey, man,
put your hand on the wheel.

775
00:35:14,029 --> 00:35:15,340
You got it.

776
00:35:15,364 --> 00:35:17,091
I'm actually...
I'm Kevin's protege.

777
00:35:17,115 --> 00:35:21,095
Sorry, I'm Kevin's assistant...
Former assistant. Fuck me.

778
00:35:21,119 --> 00:35:24,224
Of course I remember you,
Andre. So what?

779
00:35:24,248 --> 00:35:26,059
Kevin kicked you out in the
middle of the street, did he?

780
00:35:26,083 --> 00:35:28,603
No, pish-posh.
No, of course not.

781
00:35:28,627 --> 00:35:32,065
Technically, it was the sidewalk
and I love Skid Row.

782
00:35:32,089 --> 00:35:33,608
Everybody's got a story to tell.

783
00:35:33,632 --> 00:35:35,527
So many teachable moments.

784
00:35:35,551 --> 00:35:37,153
Wait, you... you didn't go home?

785
00:35:37,177 --> 00:35:38,863
You just waited here
this whole time?

786
00:35:38,887 --> 00:35:40,657
Well, yeah. I mean, I always
carry a spare key, right?

787
00:35:40,681 --> 00:35:42,826
That's what I do.
And I don't mind waiting.

788
00:35:42,850 --> 00:35:46,538
- It was a quick 25, 30 hours.
- Thirty hours?

789
00:35:46,562 --> 00:35:49,207
I would wait a lifetime
to make sure Kevin is okay.

790
00:35:49,231 --> 00:35:51,668
Stop it. Stop it.
I didn't ask you to do that.

791
00:35:51,692 --> 00:35:54,087
- Don't act like I did.
- I know, I know.

792
00:35:54,111 --> 00:35:55,672
And I know you fired me.

793
00:35:55,696 --> 00:35:57,465
Right, you fired him

794
00:35:57,489 --> 00:36:00,134
because he tried to warn you
about the Swedish mobster that

795
00:36:00,158 --> 00:36:02,387
was actually a shitty actor
who was working

796
00:36:02,411 --> 00:36:03,972
for someone trying to murder us.

797
00:36:03,996 --> 00:36:05,223
Okay, I don't understand
what's happening.

798
00:36:05,247 --> 00:36:06,766
I really don't.
And Jordan,

799
00:36:06,790 --> 00:36:08,017
I'm just gonna throw this
out there right now.

800
00:36:08,041 --> 00:36:09,644
I feel like you're still
mad at me.

801
00:36:09,668 --> 00:36:12,230
I will never not be mad at you
for the rest of my life.

802
00:36:12,254 --> 00:36:14,816
I am so sorry to interrupt,
but where am I going?

803
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:16,359
Because I've just been driving.

804
00:36:16,383 --> 00:36:17,652
Hey, hey,
we're going to my house.

805
00:36:17,676 --> 00:36:18,987
- You got it.
- Okay, go to my house.

806
00:36:19,011 --> 00:36:20,405
No, I'm not going to your house.

807
00:36:20,429 --> 00:36:21,781
- I'm going to my house.
- Your house it is.

808
00:36:21,805 --> 00:36:23,199
No, you're not going
to your house,

809
00:36:23,223 --> 00:36:24,492
because I need to know
that you're safe.

810
00:36:24,516 --> 00:36:26,619
Right, yeah,
just like Andre wanted

811
00:36:26,643 --> 00:36:28,288
to make sure you were safe.

812
00:36:28,312 --> 00:36:31,207
You know what?
I know what you're doing.

813
00:36:31,231 --> 00:36:32,625
I know exactly
what you're doing.

814
00:36:32,649 --> 00:36:34,335
You're trying to do
one of those things

815
00:36:34,359 --> 00:36:37,797
where you make me evaluate
who I am as a person, right?

816
00:36:37,821 --> 00:36:39,591
That's what you're trying to do.
But guess what?

817
00:36:39,615 --> 00:36:41,259
I'm not gonna do that,
because who I am as a person

818
00:36:41,283 --> 00:36:44,067
is who I'm okay with,
and I'm settled in.

819
00:36:45,913 --> 00:36:48,474
It's not working.
I'm gonna try one more time.

820
00:36:48,498 --> 00:36:49,809
Are you sure you're
punching in the right code?

821
00:36:49,833 --> 00:36:51,519
Of course, man.
It's your birthday,

822
00:36:51,543 --> 00:36:53,479
like I'd ever forget that.
It's tattooed on my inner thigh.

823
00:36:53,503 --> 00:36:55,356
I rub it every morning.

824
00:36:55,380 --> 00:36:56,649
- See what I'm dealing with?
- Okay.

825
00:36:56,673 --> 00:36:58,526
All the time,
this is what it is.

826
00:36:58,550 --> 00:37:00,403
- It's not working.
- Wait, wait, wait.

827
00:37:00,427 --> 00:37:02,196
Maybe the person who's
behind all of this

828
00:37:02,220 --> 00:37:03,698
changed the gate code.

829
00:37:03,722 --> 00:37:06,284
Wait, and they think I'm dead.

830
00:37:06,308 --> 00:37:07,869
So maybe this is to
our advantage, right?

831
00:37:07,893 --> 00:37:09,287
Maybe.

832
00:37:09,311 --> 00:37:11,414
Yeah, no, there's...
Shit, security.

833
00:37:11,438 --> 00:37:12,874
It's security, Jordan.
Get in the back. Hide.

834
00:37:12,898 --> 00:37:14,459
Dude, maybe we just exit now.
Should I go now?

835
00:37:14,483 --> 00:37:15,752
No, no, no. Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.

836
00:37:15,776 --> 00:37:17,086
I should just...
I'm gonna leave.

837
00:37:17,110 --> 00:37:18,671
You have to leave.
Stop, stop, stop.

838
00:37:18,695 --> 00:37:20,506
Are you sure? He's huge.
He doesn't like me.

839
00:37:20,530 --> 00:37:22,050
- Sir...
- Hey, what's going on?

840
00:37:22,074 --> 00:37:23,635
How are you, my man?
Nice to meet you.

841
00:37:23,659 --> 00:37:25,470
Are you aware you're trespassing
on private property?

842
00:37:25,494 --> 00:37:28,514
I did not.
I... I was not aware, no.

843
00:37:28,538 --> 00:37:30,516
Please reverse out
and have a nice day.

844
00:37:30,540 --> 00:37:32,644
- You got it, my man.
- No, do not reverse.

845
00:37:32,668 --> 00:37:33,895
- You can't reverse.
- You know what?

846
00:37:33,919 --> 00:37:35,521
I'm not... I can't...

847
00:37:35,545 --> 00:37:37,732
My boss actually
lives inside there.

848
00:37:37,756 --> 00:37:40,109
So if I can just jump in there
real quick, it'd be great.

849
00:37:40,133 --> 00:37:41,945
Reverse out now,
and no one has to get

850
00:37:41,969 --> 00:37:43,321
pumped full of electricity.

851
00:37:43,345 --> 00:37:45,198
Of course.
I'm positive no one needs that.

852
00:37:45,222 --> 00:37:48,534
No, do not reverse.
Do not reverse.

853
00:37:48,558 --> 00:37:50,161
- Do not reverse.
- I'm not gonna reverse.

854
00:37:50,185 --> 00:37:51,927
Do not fuck with me.

855
00:37:53,397 --> 00:37:55,291
- He's bluffing.
- You're bluffing.

856
00:37:55,315 --> 00:37:57,515
I assure you, I'm not bluffing.

857
00:37:58,568 --> 00:38:00,296
He's fucking bluffing.

858
00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:02,914
- Fuck with him. He's bluffing.
- Fuck you. You're full of...

859
00:38:07,619 --> 00:38:09,277
Compliments of Mr. H.

860
00:38:10,706 --> 00:38:12,100
Well, I didn't tell him
to do that.

861
00:38:12,124 --> 00:38:13,476
- Andre?
- Is he okay?

862
00:38:13,500 --> 00:38:15,158
Andre? Andre?

863
00:38:20,841 --> 00:38:23,277
Hey, Andre, m... maybe
one of us should just drive.

864
00:38:23,301 --> 00:38:25,279
No, you don't have
to worry about that. I got it.

865
00:38:25,303 --> 00:38:27,907
- I got you, my man.
- Damn it.

866
00:38:27,931 --> 00:38:29,951
I got a crook in my neck
that's a bitch.

867
00:38:29,975 --> 00:38:32,620
I... I swear, I gotta get to
Nina so she can fix this.

868
00:38:32,644 --> 00:38:34,247
- Who's Nina?
- Kevin's full-time masseuse.

869
00:38:34,271 --> 00:38:35,623
She's my full-time masseuse.

870
00:38:35,647 --> 00:38:37,625
Of course.

871
00:38:37,649 --> 00:38:39,252
Okay, well,
I'm glad that my life

872
00:38:39,276 --> 00:38:40,795
getting destroyed amuses you.

873
00:38:40,819 --> 00:38:42,588
Well, didn't you basically
ask for all of this?

874
00:38:42,612 --> 00:38:43,965
No, I didn't
basically ask for all of this.

875
00:38:43,989 --> 00:38:46,175
I did not do that.
I asked for a movie.

876
00:38:46,199 --> 00:38:47,552
There's a big difference.

877
00:38:47,576 --> 00:38:49,387
A movie has cameras
and sound, lights.

878
00:38:49,411 --> 00:38:50,763
That's what that has in it.

879
00:38:50,787 --> 00:38:53,141
This is not the same,
not the same.

880
00:38:53,165 --> 00:38:54,726
We need to go to the police.

881
00:38:54,750 --> 00:38:56,728
No, no, we do not
need to go to police.

882
00:38:56,752 --> 00:38:59,522
Whoever this guy is, he thinks
that we're dead, right?

883
00:38:59,546 --> 00:39:02,525
So we use that to
our advantage, okay?

884
00:39:02,549 --> 00:39:04,318
We make him think
th... that we're not here.

885
00:39:04,342 --> 00:39:06,404
We disappear. We just gotta
figure out where to go.

886
00:39:06,428 --> 00:39:08,448
Man, this is where Natasha
would come in handy,

887
00:39:08,472 --> 00:39:10,074
'cause she would know exactly
where we should go.

888
00:39:10,098 --> 00:39:11,743
- And who the hell is Natasha?
- She handles...

889
00:39:11,767 --> 00:39:14,412
She's Kevin's Airbnb consultant.

890
00:39:14,436 --> 00:39:16,039
- This is getting ridiculous.
- My God.

891
00:39:16,063 --> 00:39:17,582
I know exactly where we can go

892
00:39:17,606 --> 00:39:19,389
where no one would
ever search for us.

893
00:39:20,567 --> 00:39:22,170
Who's in?

894
00:39:22,194 --> 00:39:24,380
Who's in?

895
00:39:24,404 --> 00:39:26,132
Okay, make yourself at home.

896
00:39:26,156 --> 00:39:27,884
Do you guys want
anything to drink?

897
00:39:27,908 --> 00:39:29,218
Kombucha, coffee, tea?

898
00:39:29,242 --> 00:39:31,387
Yes, yes,
kombucha would be great.

899
00:39:31,411 --> 00:39:32,638
I don't have it.
You called my bluff.

900
00:39:32,662 --> 00:39:34,348
I don't have kombucha.
I'm sorry.

901
00:39:34,372 --> 00:39:36,017
- No, water would be brilliant.
- Water is gonna be great.

902
00:39:36,041 --> 00:39:37,310
- Thank you, Andre.
- Fantastic.

903
00:39:37,334 --> 00:39:38,728
And you? You want some water?

904
00:39:38,752 --> 00:39:40,188
I'm not putting my mouth
on a cup of this house.

905
00:39:40,212 --> 00:39:41,606
Nice, nice.

906
00:39:41,630 --> 00:39:44,984
Jesus Christ,
you actually live here?

907
00:39:45,008 --> 00:39:46,986
Yeah, my little slice of heaven.

908
00:39:47,010 --> 00:39:49,447
What was that?

909
00:39:49,471 --> 00:39:51,199
- I said.
- I love it.

910
00:39:51,223 --> 00:39:53,993
- It's actually really charming.
- Thank you.

911
00:39:54,017 --> 00:39:55,411
You know, my mom and I
are kind of always

912
00:39:55,435 --> 00:39:56,829
messing with the motif in here.

913
00:39:56,853 --> 00:39:58,623
Went through a huge
Southwestern phase.

914
00:39:58,647 --> 00:40:00,555
So much turquoise.

915
00:40:01,650 --> 00:40:03,252
So your mom helped you decorate?

916
00:40:03,276 --> 00:40:05,518
Yeah, big-time.
She's my roommate.

917
00:40:06,947 --> 00:40:08,883
- She's right there.
- You gotta be shitting me.

918
00:40:08,907 --> 00:40:10,384
No, no, no, don't be afraid.

919
00:40:10,408 --> 00:40:11,969
Don't be afraid.
Watch this.

920
00:40:11,993 --> 00:40:13,179
- You want to meet her?
- No, I don't have to.

921
00:40:13,203 --> 00:40:14,764
Here we go.
Mom, you're okay?

922
00:40:14,788 --> 00:40:17,068
- Your mouth was open real wide.
- My God.

923
00:40:18,708 --> 00:40:21,312
- My. My.
- Don't charge me.

924
00:40:21,336 --> 00:40:23,481
- My God.
- Fix your bra.

925
00:40:23,505 --> 00:40:28,277
It's... it's Kevin Hart,
America's treasure.

926
00:40:28,301 --> 00:40:30,102
It's a family...
No, you don't have to...

927
00:40:31,304 --> 00:40:33,616
And... and Jordan King.

928
00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:35,409
Or should I call you Wheezy?

929
00:40:35,433 --> 00:40:37,245
No, that's just a role

930
00:40:37,269 --> 00:40:39,247
I'm not paid
nearly enough to play.

931
00:40:39,271 --> 00:40:40,665
"Jordan" is fine.

932
00:40:40,689 --> 00:40:42,625
Come here.
I gotta squeeze ya.

933
00:40:42,649 --> 00:40:44,460
Come here.

934
00:40:44,484 --> 00:40:47,213
You two gotta eat.
We're gonna have a feast.

935
00:40:47,237 --> 00:40:48,631
Andre, go to the freezer.

936
00:40:48,655 --> 00:40:50,341
We're gonna defrost
the Christmas pork chop.

937
00:40:50,365 --> 00:40:52,385
We're doing
the Christmas pork chops?

938
00:40:52,409 --> 00:40:53,803
We've been waiting
for this for, like, six years.

939
00:40:53,827 --> 00:40:55,638
I don't think
we have that much time.

940
00:40:55,662 --> 00:40:57,390
You don't have to do that. We
don't want to steal your meat.

941
00:40:57,414 --> 00:40:58,641
- We have plenty of time.
- You gotta save that meat.

942
00:40:58,665 --> 00:41:00,059
You're eating my meat.

943
00:41:00,083 --> 00:41:01,602
Tell him, mom.
Tell him!

944
00:41:01,626 --> 00:41:03,062
- No, no, no, no.
- You're gonna want my meat.

945
00:41:03,086 --> 00:41:04,355
No, we don't want your meat.

946
00:41:04,379 --> 00:41:05,731
People talk about it
all the time.

947
00:41:05,755 --> 00:41:07,316
- Well, we don't...
- Did you hurt yourself?

948
00:41:07,340 --> 00:41:08,568
- This is not...
- Did you know there was...

949
00:41:08,592 --> 00:41:10,570
Shit, woman!

950
00:41:10,594 --> 00:41:12,655
Did you know
there was blood there?

951
00:41:12,679 --> 00:41:14,949
Yeah... And up here?

952
00:41:14,973 --> 00:41:17,201
- Stop.
- God, you are Kevin Hart.

953
00:41:17,225 --> 00:41:19,704
You can't walk around
with bloody clothes on.

954
00:41:19,728 --> 00:41:21,998
You're too sophisticated.
Take your shirt off.

955
00:41:22,022 --> 00:41:23,374
- Come on, I'm gonna wash it.
- That's alright.

956
00:41:23,398 --> 00:41:25,084
I'm already doing a bloody load.

957
00:41:25,108 --> 00:41:26,794
Come on, take it off. Come on.

958
00:41:26,818 --> 00:41:28,129
Take it off, Kevin.
What are we doing?

959
00:41:28,153 --> 00:41:29,755
- Yeah.
- Come on.

960
00:41:29,779 --> 00:41:31,659
- So nice of you.
- Somebody's got a cute tummy.

961
00:41:32,699 --> 00:41:34,260
- Come on, that's a lie.
- Mom, look at him.

962
00:41:34,284 --> 00:41:35,553
Remember, I was telling you
about his belly button?

963
00:41:35,577 --> 00:41:36,762
It's right there, mom.
You got it.

964
00:41:36,786 --> 00:41:38,264
Take my chance.

965
00:41:38,288 --> 00:41:40,391
God. Let me just...
Please, let me get it.

966
00:41:40,415 --> 00:41:42,310
Stop it, please.
My goodness.

967
00:41:42,334 --> 00:41:44,312
- Thank you. You got...
- That's...

968
00:41:44,336 --> 00:41:46,564
- You gotta be kidding me.
- Well, that hit my eyes.

969
00:41:46,588 --> 00:41:48,816
That is... that is...

970
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:50,693
- That's a man right there.
- Yeah, we were filming.

971
00:41:50,717 --> 00:41:52,320
- That is good.
- We're doing an improv action...

972
00:41:52,344 --> 00:41:53,988
I can't believe he's in
our house. I love you so much.

973
00:41:54,012 --> 00:41:56,332
Movie where
basically all of the action...

974
00:41:58,058 --> 00:42:00,369
- Such nice people.
- Nice people?

975
00:42:00,393 --> 00:42:02,246
- Who?
- You're so mean.

976
00:42:02,270 --> 00:42:04,498
How can you be mean to this guy?
Look at him.

977
00:42:04,522 --> 00:42:08,961
He might be the nicest, sweetest
person I've ever encountered.

978
00:42:08,985 --> 00:42:11,589
How could you fire him?

979
00:42:11,613 --> 00:42:13,049
You want me to start
at the beginning? I don't know.

980
00:42:13,073 --> 00:42:15,551
Maybe because he doesn't
respect boundaries.

981
00:42:15,575 --> 00:42:18,971
- He cares about you.
- You just stop it.

982
00:42:18,995 --> 00:42:21,404
The man clipped my goddamn
toenails one time...

983
00:42:22,624 --> 00:42:25,742
while I was in bed...
with a woman.

984
00:42:27,045 --> 00:42:30,566
Exactly. Struggling, by the way,
to perform.

985
00:42:30,590 --> 00:42:33,444
Had a lot on my mind,
a lot on my mind.

986
00:42:33,468 --> 00:42:35,279
Brown gummy worm
was in full effect.

987
00:42:35,303 --> 00:42:37,031
- I don't want to know this.
- Loose noodle.

988
00:42:37,055 --> 00:42:38,574
Call it what you want.
I looked down.

989
00:42:38,598 --> 00:42:40,785
I see his face looking up at me.
Now I got no shot.

990
00:42:40,809 --> 00:42:43,412
Okay, thank you for the context.

991
00:42:43,436 --> 00:42:45,665
Just giving you...
giving you a play-by-play.

992
00:42:45,689 --> 00:42:50,670
But listen, when I go to set,
it's me acting, right?

993
00:42:50,694 --> 00:42:55,883
But to get there, I've got reps,
my dialect coach, my assistant.

994
00:42:55,907 --> 00:42:57,510
And then there's
personal trainer,

995
00:42:57,534 --> 00:43:00,888
hair stylists, makeup artists.
The... the list goes on.

996
00:43:00,912 --> 00:43:04,392
And then there's family and
friends who have supported me

997
00:43:04,416 --> 00:43:06,811
and sacrificed for me.

998
00:43:06,835 --> 00:43:08,396
I'm sorry. I got lost
in what you were saying

999
00:43:08,420 --> 00:43:09,939
'cause I felt it was bullshit.

1000
00:43:09,963 --> 00:43:12,566
You have that, too, Kevin,
and then some, okay?

1001
00:43:12,590 --> 00:43:13,985
It's why you're a star.

1002
00:43:14,009 --> 00:43:15,528
No, that's not true.

1003
00:43:15,552 --> 00:43:19,282
I'm a star because I made
myself a star with this.

1004
00:43:19,306 --> 00:43:22,702
Sure, yeah, that's the story
you keep telling yourself,

1005
00:43:22,726 --> 00:43:24,203
but you had help.

1006
00:43:24,227 --> 00:43:26,289
Okay.

1007
00:43:26,313 --> 00:43:28,040
Hey, how are you guys doing?

1008
00:43:28,064 --> 00:43:30,001
The pork chops are smelling

1009
00:43:30,025 --> 00:43:32,253
so much like shrimp right now,
it's amazing.

1010
00:43:32,277 --> 00:43:33,629
I got you a shirt, my man.

1011
00:43:33,653 --> 00:43:35,923
I think it'll fit perfectly,
okay?

1012
00:43:35,947 --> 00:43:37,591
- Do you see it?
- Nice.

1013
00:43:37,615 --> 00:43:39,218
Yeah, I made that myself.

1014
00:43:39,242 --> 00:43:41,609
Okay, thank you for that.

1015
00:43:43,246 --> 00:43:46,058
I wanted to ask you earlier,
but I didn't get a chance to.

1016
00:43:46,082 --> 00:43:47,601
Who's... who's that?

1017
00:43:47,625 --> 00:43:49,061
- This one?
- Yeah.

1018
00:43:49,085 --> 00:43:51,786
That's my dad.
He's been gone a long time.

1019
00:43:53,173 --> 00:43:54,525
- Really?
- Yeah.

1020
00:43:54,549 --> 00:43:56,277
Same.

1021
00:43:56,301 --> 00:43:57,611
Hey, you know, my mom raised me.

1022
00:43:57,635 --> 00:43:59,530
I know.

1023
00:43:59,554 --> 00:44:02,074
Did your dad, get a little afraid

1024
00:44:02,098 --> 00:44:03,909
of parenthood and run off?

1025
00:44:03,933 --> 00:44:05,286
It wasn't anything
like that, actually.

1026
00:44:05,310 --> 00:44:07,371
He was amazing.
He was kind.

1027
00:44:07,395 --> 00:44:08,831
He was gentle.

1028
00:44:08,855 --> 00:44:11,584
By the way,
Richard Pryor's assistant.

1029
00:44:11,608 --> 00:44:13,336
Your dad is Rich...

1030
00:44:13,360 --> 00:44:14,628
I guess you could say assisting

1031
00:44:14,652 --> 00:44:15,963
just runs in the family, right?

1032
00:44:15,987 --> 00:44:17,757
Wow. That's legendary, man.

1033
00:44:17,781 --> 00:44:19,342
- It is, right?
- That's huge.

1034
00:44:19,366 --> 00:44:22,053
It's huge, until it killed him.

1035
00:44:22,077 --> 00:44:23,929
What do you mean?

1036
00:44:23,953 --> 00:44:28,142
It's a big show, and crazy fan
got through security.

1037
00:44:28,166 --> 00:44:31,270
So my dad jumped in
the way of a knife

1038
00:44:31,294 --> 00:44:32,772
that was meant
for Richard Pryor.

1039
00:44:32,796 --> 00:44:34,690
- You're playing.
- No.

1040
00:44:34,714 --> 00:44:36,150
- Cut him from the stomach...
- What?

1041
00:44:36,174 --> 00:44:37,568
Right up, back down.

1042
00:44:37,592 --> 00:44:39,070
- What?
- Killed my dad on the spot.

1043
00:44:39,094 --> 00:44:41,072
My God, man.

1044
00:44:41,096 --> 00:44:42,865
I can't.
I can't process that.

1045
00:44:42,889 --> 00:44:44,867
Neither could I. It was enormous
for our whole family.

1046
00:44:44,891 --> 00:44:47,759
Why would somebody
want to kill Richard Pryor?

1047
00:44:50,814 --> 00:44:53,376
- Who?
- Well, yeah, why?

1048
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:55,378
That's crazy, right?

1049
00:44:55,402 --> 00:44:57,004
Yeah.
I bet, by the way...

1050
00:44:57,028 --> 00:44:59,006
I bet my dad, when he
was dying, was looking up

1051
00:44:59,030 --> 00:45:01,342
and was like, Why would you do
this, or something like that.

1052
00:45:01,366 --> 00:45:03,427
- Has to be, right?
- Maybe, maybe. Maybe not.

1053
00:45:03,451 --> 00:45:05,054
I mean, at that point,
that's not what's important.

1054
00:45:05,078 --> 00:45:06,263
Somebody tried to kill Richard.

1055
00:45:06,287 --> 00:45:07,640
Right, my dad was already dead.

1056
00:45:07,664 --> 00:45:09,016
The thing we gotta
worry about is...

1057
00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:10,309
- Who is this guy?
- God's gonna do...

1058
00:45:10,333 --> 00:45:11,644
Are there more of 'em?
Yeah.

1059
00:45:11,668 --> 00:45:13,354
- Okay? You can't rewrite that.
- No.

1060
00:45:13,378 --> 00:45:14,897
No, we can't.
I tried to.

1061
00:45:14,921 --> 00:45:16,607
God, I've been
to so much therapy

1062
00:45:16,631 --> 00:45:19,110
trying to rewrite that moment.
What could I have done?

1063
00:45:19,134 --> 00:45:20,903
I was a child, but maybe I
could have jumped in the way,

1064
00:45:20,927 --> 00:45:23,614
or something like that.
Yeah.

1065
00:45:23,638 --> 00:45:25,574
On the bright side, though,
if you think about it,

1066
00:45:25,598 --> 00:45:29,328
he died doing what he
loved the most, assisting.

1067
00:45:29,352 --> 00:45:31,580
He was so happy
that he brought joy

1068
00:45:31,604 --> 00:45:35,376
to someone who brought joy
to so many people.

1069
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:37,517
He taught me every
single thing I knew.

1070
00:45:40,405 --> 00:45:42,925
You know, man, maybe...

1071
00:45:42,949 --> 00:45:45,594
Maybe I didn't mean to fire you.

1072
00:45:45,618 --> 00:45:49,515
I think your exact words were,
I didn't need a stunt man.

1073
00:45:49,539 --> 00:45:51,892
I sure as hell
don't need an assistant.

1074
00:45:51,916 --> 00:45:53,519
You said it to me.
You yelled it.

1075
00:45:53,543 --> 00:45:56,772
And then you told me
to get out of your car, right?

1076
00:45:56,796 --> 00:45:58,941
No, you're absolutely...
You're... you're right.

1077
00:45:58,965 --> 00:46:01,193
But I'm just saying,
now, looking back,

1078
00:46:01,217 --> 00:46:03,779
I'm saying, maybe I do...

1079
00:46:03,803 --> 00:46:07,867
Maybe I still do
need an assistant.

1080
00:46:07,891 --> 00:46:10,007
God. Alright?

1081
00:46:11,227 --> 00:46:12,955
- I need you, too.
- No...

1082
00:46:12,979 --> 00:46:15,499
- I need you, too.
- Not the same.

1083
00:46:15,523 --> 00:46:17,960
- Fuck.
- Yeah.

1084
00:46:17,984 --> 00:46:19,962
I have never been this hard.

1085
00:46:19,986 --> 00:46:21,422
Alright, I'm gonna tell my mom.

1086
00:46:21,446 --> 00:46:23,591
Mom, you'll never believe it!

1087
00:46:23,615 --> 00:46:25,273
Congratulations.

1088
00:46:27,410 --> 00:46:29,235
Something else?

1089
00:46:35,001 --> 00:46:36,784
- I'm proud of you.
- Shut up.

1090
00:46:38,630 --> 00:46:40,316
You know, if you start
treating everyone

1091
00:46:40,340 --> 00:46:42,443
in the Kevin Hart universe
with that level of respect,

1092
00:46:42,467 --> 00:46:45,196
I think you'll be happy
with your life.

1093
00:46:45,220 --> 00:46:47,072
You really are something else.

1094
00:46:47,096 --> 00:46:48,991
I mean, you paint me out
to be such a monster.

1095
00:46:49,015 --> 00:46:52,745
Name one other person that
I have disrespected, just one.

1096
00:46:52,769 --> 00:46:54,385
Give me one.

1097
00:46:56,022 --> 00:46:58,097
I can absolutely name someone.

1098
00:47:01,945 --> 00:47:03,422
- Hey, Jordan.
- Yeah, hi.

1099
00:47:03,446 --> 00:47:04,924
I just looked at the call sheet.

1100
00:47:04,948 --> 00:47:06,300
I didn't see your
stunt double on there.

1101
00:47:06,324 --> 00:47:08,719
- I sent her home.
- Why?

1102
00:47:08,743 --> 00:47:10,971
Well, I grew up on motorcycles,
and it's a simple one today.

1103
00:47:10,995 --> 00:47:12,515
I just have to drive
through the glass

1104
00:47:12,539 --> 00:47:13,933
of a dry-cleaning business
before it explodes.

1105
00:47:13,957 --> 00:47:15,893
Hold on, hold on, hold on.

1106
00:47:15,917 --> 00:47:19,063
Simple for who? Who?
Who's it simple for, you?

1107
00:47:19,087 --> 00:47:21,023
Well, that's what
you have Doug for?

1108
00:47:21,047 --> 00:47:22,483
Do you know what
this would look like if you go

1109
00:47:22,507 --> 00:47:24,527
do all your own stunts
and I don't do mine?

1110
00:47:24,551 --> 00:47:26,445
Do you know what people
will think of me?

1111
00:47:26,469 --> 00:47:28,364
They'll think you're an actor?

1112
00:47:28,388 --> 00:47:29,907
And listen, I'm not jumping
off the cliff.

1113
00:47:29,931 --> 00:47:31,367
I'm not jumping out of a plane,

1114
00:47:31,391 --> 00:47:32,785
and I ain't fighting no
alligator for anyone.

1115
00:47:32,809 --> 00:47:34,411
You don't think
I can do my own stunts.

1116
00:47:34,435 --> 00:47:36,038
You don't think
I'm tough enough?

1117
00:47:36,062 --> 00:47:38,749
That's what Doug is for,
for exactly this thing.

1118
00:47:38,773 --> 00:47:40,709
You think I need Doug?

1119
00:47:40,733 --> 00:47:42,461
Absolutely.

1120
00:47:42,485 --> 00:47:44,004
Maybe I don't.

1121
00:47:44,028 --> 00:47:45,853
Maybe I don't need Doug.

1122
00:47:47,365 --> 00:47:49,023
I think he just heard you.

1123
00:47:52,287 --> 00:47:54,515
Hey, Doug.

1124
00:47:54,539 --> 00:47:56,280
I'm gonna go talk to Doug.

1125
00:47:57,584 --> 00:47:58,852
Kevin.

1126
00:47:58,876 --> 00:48:02,481
Hey, there he is, my guy.

1127
00:48:02,505 --> 00:48:04,400
Ooh, ooh, ooh!

1128
00:48:04,424 --> 00:48:07,778
You ain't gonna
believe this shit.

1129
00:48:07,802 --> 00:48:09,363
I'm talking to Jordan.

1130
00:48:09,387 --> 00:48:11,365
I just found out Jordan
sent her stunt double home.

1131
00:48:11,389 --> 00:48:12,783
You know what she trying to do.

1132
00:48:12,807 --> 00:48:14,493
You know exactly what
she trying to do.

1133
00:48:14,517 --> 00:48:16,412
She trying to show me up,
and I'm not gonna have that.

1134
00:48:16,436 --> 00:48:19,303
I can't have that.
I'm Kevin Hart, right?

1135
00:48:21,316 --> 00:48:23,294
So, here's the thing, right?

1136
00:48:23,318 --> 00:48:25,129
Let's get into this relationship

1137
00:48:25,153 --> 00:48:26,630
'cause it's one of the best
that I've ever had.

1138
00:48:26,654 --> 00:48:28,299
How long you been with me, man?

1139
00:48:28,323 --> 00:48:29,717
Damn, that long?

1140
00:48:29,741 --> 00:48:31,594
It's been a long time.

1141
00:48:31,618 --> 00:48:32,970
I know you gonna be fine,

1142
00:48:32,994 --> 00:48:34,513
and it's time for you
to fly, right?

1143
00:48:34,537 --> 00:48:38,100
So with that being said,
we're done.

1144
00:48:38,124 --> 00:48:40,102
I... I'm gonna go ahead and...

1145
00:48:40,126 --> 00:48:43,188
Is "fired" the word, I guess?
I guess it is "fired."

1146
00:48:43,212 --> 00:48:45,107
So I'mma fire you, but in a,

1147
00:48:45,131 --> 00:48:48,152
but in a dope way
to where we still cool.

1148
00:48:48,176 --> 00:48:50,167
I... I'm gonna go on
and get ready.

1149
00:48:51,554 --> 00:48:53,240
My guy!

1150
00:48:53,264 --> 00:48:55,618
- It's stunt time.
- Kevin, this is a terrible...

1151
00:48:55,642 --> 00:48:57,536
It's stunt time!

1152
00:48:57,560 --> 00:48:59,413
Listen, I'm not
trying to show you up.

1153
00:48:59,437 --> 00:49:01,582
Hey!
Enough, Jordan.

1154
00:49:01,606 --> 00:49:05,141
It's all good,
Mr. Action Star.

1155
00:49:09,864 --> 00:49:11,800
Now, you listen to me, alright?

1156
00:49:11,824 --> 00:49:13,761
I've been in this
business for goddamn...

1157
00:49:13,785 --> 00:49:15,638
goddamn, how long?

1158
00:49:15,662 --> 00:49:17,306
How long?

1159
00:49:17,330 --> 00:49:19,433
You telling me that
my goddamn reputation

1160
00:49:19,457 --> 00:49:21,560
doesn't speak for myself?

1161
00:49:21,584 --> 00:49:23,326
It fucking should!

1162
00:49:25,046 --> 00:49:27,191
When... when does Cap Four shoot?

1163
00:49:27,215 --> 00:49:29,360
Does Mackie have a guy?

1164
00:49:29,384 --> 00:49:30,944
He does. He gets it.

1165
00:49:30,968 --> 00:49:32,613
Everybody's got a fucking guy?

1166
00:49:32,637 --> 00:49:36,158
What about Adam Driver?
Now, you said he's billed.

1167
00:49:36,182 --> 00:49:38,077
Listen, I can do work for him.

1168
00:49:38,101 --> 00:49:41,163
I... I can be Adam's driver,
right?

1169
00:49:41,187 --> 00:49:43,207
Yeah, no, listen,
I'm serious about that.

1170
00:49:43,231 --> 00:49:45,959
I don't give a fuck.
I'll drive.

1171
00:49:45,983 --> 00:49:49,672
I... I'll be Adam's driver
driver driver if I have to.

1172
00:49:49,696 --> 00:49:52,591
God damn it Scott!
Fuck you!

1173
00:49:52,615 --> 00:49:55,608
I've been in the goddamn
business for years.

1174
00:50:30,945 --> 00:50:32,506
<i>You know what?</i>

1175
00:50:32,530 --> 00:50:34,508
<i>This is my me time.
I really enjoy working.</i>

1176
00:50:34,532 --> 00:50:37,428
<i>I find a lot of peace,
happiness,</i>

1177
00:50:37,452 --> 00:50:40,264
<i>and, solace in creating.</i>

1178
00:50:40,288 --> 00:50:43,559
<i>And now my creating is
about putting other people</i>

1179
00:50:43,583 --> 00:50:46,937
<i>in positions to win,
um, amplifying other careers</i>

1180
00:50:46,961 --> 00:50:48,439
<i>and opportunities, not just me.</i>

1181
00:50:48,463 --> 00:50:50,858
<i>So, hopefully,
it continues to grow.</i>

1182
00:50:50,882 --> 00:50:52,192
I can't believe that my stuntman

1183
00:50:52,216 --> 00:50:53,861
would do this to me.

1184
00:50:53,885 --> 00:50:55,362
Ex-stuntman.

1185
00:50:55,386 --> 00:50:58,240
No, I gotta do
something about this...

1186
00:50:58,264 --> 00:50:59,575
Whoa, whoa, Kevin.

1187
00:50:59,599 --> 00:51:01,994
No.
Let mom look at this.

1188
00:51:02,018 --> 00:51:03,370
Hold on.

1189
00:51:03,394 --> 00:51:04,872
We gotta change this dressing.

1190
00:51:04,896 --> 00:51:06,165
Take him to the bedroom.

1191
00:51:06,189 --> 00:51:07,583
- Prop him up.
- Here we go.

1192
00:51:07,607 --> 00:51:09,001
- Get some wet towels.
- Here we go.

1193
00:51:09,025 --> 00:51:10,461
Shouldn't he go to a hospital?

1194
00:51:10,485 --> 00:51:12,337
No.
I'll get him back on track.

1195
00:51:12,361 --> 00:51:14,256
It's what I do.

1196
00:51:14,280 --> 00:51:15,841
Wait, you're a doctor?

1197
00:51:15,865 --> 00:51:17,676
I'm better than a doctor.

1198
00:51:17,700 --> 00:51:19,803
I'm a mom.

1199
00:51:19,827 --> 00:51:21,569
Left, right, left, right.

1200
00:51:23,581 --> 00:51:24,892
He's gonna be fine.

1201
00:51:24,916 --> 00:51:27,144
My mom is a miracle-worker.

1202
00:51:27,168 --> 00:51:28,896
How about you?
Are you okay?

1203
00:51:28,920 --> 00:51:31,899
Well, not really.
This is my problem, too.

1204
00:51:31,923 --> 00:51:34,693
Doug probably blames me
for losing his job.

1205
00:51:34,717 --> 00:51:37,154
That's why he's put me in
this deadly little game of his,

1206
00:51:37,178 --> 00:51:38,530
just for payback.

1207
00:51:38,554 --> 00:51:40,365
Yeah.
Okay, that's fine, then.

1208
00:51:40,389 --> 00:51:41,992
When Kevin gets back
to full health,

1209
00:51:42,016 --> 00:51:43,952
he will think of an
incredible plan for all of us.

1210
00:51:43,976 --> 00:51:45,788
No, no, fuck that.
We can't just sit here.

1211
00:51:45,812 --> 00:51:48,540
We need to do something. We need
to get to the bottom of this.

1212
00:51:48,564 --> 00:51:50,334
Who is the person
Kevin trusts the most?

1213
00:51:50,358 --> 00:51:52,002
- His agent.
- Really?

1214
00:51:52,026 --> 00:51:53,921
Yeah.

1215
00:51:53,945 --> 00:51:55,589
Let's pay them a visit.

1216
00:51:55,613 --> 00:51:57,424
Right now?
We can't go right now.

1217
00:51:57,448 --> 00:51:59,927
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Jordan, we can't go right now.

1218
00:51:59,951 --> 00:52:01,345
But what about this?
What about this?

1219
00:52:01,369 --> 00:52:02,888
You're famous, Jordan.
You get in there,

1220
00:52:02,912 --> 00:52:04,723
they're gonna recognize you.
That's a problem.

1221
00:52:04,747 --> 00:52:07,851
Second is, Doug actually thinks
that you're dead, right?

1222
00:52:07,875 --> 00:52:10,284
- You blew up.
- Shit, you're right.

1223
00:52:11,754 --> 00:52:13,524
My God, I just thought
of something amazing.

1224
00:52:13,548 --> 00:52:15,776
Thank me.
Thank me now.

1225
00:52:15,800 --> 00:52:17,110
Let me hear it first?

1226
00:52:17,134 --> 00:52:18,529
Smart.
That's a smart move, okay?

1227
00:52:18,553 --> 00:52:20,197
In the back, there's a disguise.

1228
00:52:20,221 --> 00:52:21,657
I always keep a spare disguise
for Kevin in the back.

1229
00:52:21,681 --> 00:52:23,116
Grab that bag real quick.

1230
00:52:23,140 --> 00:52:25,869
- You have spare disguises?
- Yes.

1231
00:52:25,893 --> 00:52:28,872
I mean, sometimes Kevin likes
to live anonymously, right?

1232
00:52:28,896 --> 00:52:32,042
Whether he wants to go grocery
shopping, feed the ducks,

1233
00:52:32,066 --> 00:52:33,808
heckle a stranger.

1234
00:52:35,486 --> 00:52:39,132
Yeah, I'm not wearing this.

1235
00:52:39,156 --> 00:52:41,385
Come on. Did you see
all of them real quick?

1236
00:52:41,409 --> 00:52:43,178
Like this one right here, okay?
This one right here...

1237
00:52:43,202 --> 00:52:44,972
- Andre, the road!
- I'm doing it.

1238
00:52:44,996 --> 00:52:46,640
It's a hard left
with my knees, baby.

1239
00:52:46,664 --> 00:52:48,531
Look at this.

1240
00:52:54,714 --> 00:52:57,401
This is so embarrassing.

1241
00:52:57,425 --> 00:52:59,403
We're lucky that
you and Kevin are the same size,

1242
00:52:59,427 --> 00:53:01,071
you know what I mean?

1243
00:53:01,095 --> 00:53:03,282
Think about this as your
greatest acting role to date.

1244
00:53:03,306 --> 00:53:05,464
You got this.
You got this!

1245
00:53:08,102 --> 00:53:09,760
That's fantastic.
Okay, and...

1246
00:53:11,480 --> 00:53:15,586
We're here to see, Scott Hayman.

1247
00:53:15,610 --> 00:53:17,101
Okay.

1248
00:53:19,113 --> 00:53:21,049
And you are?

1249
00:53:21,073 --> 00:53:23,927
Ronald Mondolvia III!

1250
00:53:23,951 --> 00:53:25,846
A pleasure to meet you.

1251
00:53:25,870 --> 00:53:28,320
And this is the
wickedly talented...

1252
00:53:29,707 --> 00:53:31,991
Bill.
My name is Bill.

1253
00:53:33,836 --> 00:53:36,773
Bill Mondolvia.
We're both Mondolvians.

1254
00:53:36,797 --> 00:53:40,485
This is my uncle
on my mama's side.

1255
00:53:40,509 --> 00:53:43,377
Shit-fuck, can this man
cook a goose.

1256
00:53:47,224 --> 00:53:48,619
What was all that before?

1257
00:53:48,643 --> 00:53:50,329
Mondolvia...
That's nobody's surname.

1258
00:53:50,353 --> 00:53:51,914
What do you expect, okay?

1259
00:53:51,938 --> 00:53:54,708
I couldn't concentrate.
Your accent was fucking insane.

1260
00:53:54,732 --> 00:53:57,628
- My accent?
- Yes. "Blah, blah, blah."

1261
00:53:57,652 --> 00:53:59,838
Okay, it wasn't great,
but I mean...

1262
00:53:59,862 --> 00:54:01,465
- My accent? I nailed my accent.
- It doesn't matter.

1263
00:54:01,489 --> 00:54:03,175
It doesn't matter,
because there's no way

1264
00:54:03,199 --> 00:54:05,636
they're letting us go back
to see Kevin's agent, okay?

1265
00:54:05,660 --> 00:54:07,137
They've probably
already called security.

1266
00:54:07,161 --> 00:54:08,847
So if security comes,

1267
00:54:08,871 --> 00:54:11,141
we just pretend to
be Ronald and Bill Mondolvia,

1268
00:54:11,165 --> 00:54:13,143
the very famous
Instagram influencers

1269
00:54:13,167 --> 00:54:14,895
who make unboxing videos.

1270
00:54:14,919 --> 00:54:16,355
What is this?

1271
00:54:16,379 --> 00:54:17,856
We unbox it, and it's
a smaller box, okay?

1272
00:54:17,880 --> 00:54:20,275
No, no, no.
She's going to the loo.

1273
00:54:20,299 --> 00:54:22,069
I don't think that Bill
would call it the loo.

1274
00:54:22,093 --> 00:54:23,570
I feel like
he's more old-school.

1275
00:54:23,594 --> 00:54:25,628
I feel like she's
about to take a shit.

1276
00:54:27,682 --> 00:54:29,256
Play it cool.

1277
00:54:30,685 --> 00:54:32,718
Like and subscribe, please!

1278
00:54:35,189 --> 00:54:37,167
Stop, stop, stop.
Right there, right there.

1279
00:54:37,191 --> 00:54:39,127
Right there,
that's Kevin's agent.

1280
00:54:39,151 --> 00:54:41,018
Who is he talking to?

1281
00:54:42,822 --> 00:54:44,967
How are you doing, man?

1282
00:54:44,991 --> 00:54:47,107
It's not Kevin.

1283
00:54:52,707 --> 00:54:55,018
Try not to move.

1284
00:54:55,042 --> 00:54:57,326
Mr. Kevin Hart needs
to regain his strength.

1285
00:54:58,754 --> 00:55:04,569
As long as it takes,
you'll be here in my house,

1286
00:55:04,593 --> 00:55:10,214
listening to my stories,
eating my Christmas pork chops.

1287
00:55:16,230 --> 00:55:21,044
When my husband was wounded
years ago, I couldn't save him,

1288
00:55:21,068 --> 00:55:24,172
but now I've got a
second chance with you,

1289
00:55:24,196 --> 00:55:27,523
Kevin Hart, America's treasure.

1290
00:55:29,577 --> 00:55:31,443
Cynthia's treasure.

1291
00:55:35,416 --> 00:55:36,518
<i>Hello?</i>

1292
00:55:36,542 --> 00:55:38,061
Mom, mom, put Kevin on.

1293
00:55:38,085 --> 00:55:39,730
<i>I can't.
He's sleeping.</i>

1294
00:55:39,754 --> 00:55:41,356
It's an emergency.
Put him on right now, mom.

1295
00:55:41,380 --> 00:55:43,442
Come on, wake him up.

1296
00:55:43,466 --> 00:55:45,152
<i>Hello?</i>

1297
00:55:45,176 --> 00:55:47,446
Are you here to rescue me?
I think I've been poisoned.

1298
00:55:47,470 --> 00:55:49,281
Kevin, listen up
very closely, okay?

1299
00:55:49,305 --> 00:55:50,824
We've just been on a deep-cover

1300
00:55:50,848 --> 00:55:52,492
reconnaissance mission,
and we fucking nailed it.

1301
00:55:52,516 --> 00:55:54,453
Doug is you.
You've been replaced by Doug.

1302
00:55:54,477 --> 00:55:56,830
<i>Wait, what?
Replaced? I don't understand.</i>

1303
00:55:56,854 --> 00:55:58,415
That's because my mommy
just gave you

1304
00:55:58,439 --> 00:56:00,751
a very low-dose narcotic.
Don't worry about it.

1305
00:56:00,775 --> 00:56:03,045
But when you come to,
you have to understand

1306
00:56:03,069 --> 00:56:05,589
that Doug is trying to convince
people that he's you.

1307
00:56:05,613 --> 00:56:07,424
He's fixed his teeth.
He's changed his hair.

1308
00:56:07,448 --> 00:56:11,678
I mean, his mannerisms...
My God, he's... he's you.

1309
00:56:11,702 --> 00:56:13,972
Yeah, well,
he can't fool my staff.

1310
00:56:13,996 --> 00:56:15,557
They'll know it's not me.

1311
00:56:15,581 --> 00:56:17,406
They're my village.

1312
00:56:19,001 --> 00:56:20,771
You get a raise.
You get a raise.

1313
00:56:20,795 --> 00:56:22,481
You get a raise.
You get a raise.

1314
00:56:22,505 --> 00:56:23,857
You get a raise.

1315
00:56:23,881 --> 00:56:26,443
That's right, everybody
gets a raise?

1316
00:56:26,467 --> 00:56:28,612
You know why?
'Cause I'm Kevin.

1317
00:56:28,636 --> 00:56:30,655
I'm Kevin!

1318
00:56:30,679 --> 00:56:32,574
Sorry, Kevin
is suddenly very tired.

1319
00:56:32,598 --> 00:56:34,159
- He needs his rest.
<i>- No, no, no, no.</i>

1320
00:56:34,183 --> 00:56:35,734
<i>- Mom, no...</i>
- Bye.

1321
00:56:41,607 --> 00:56:43,794
If Kevin wants
to get through to Doug,

1322
00:56:43,818 --> 00:56:48,340
there's only one man
he can talk to, Mr. 206.

1323
00:56:48,364 --> 00:56:50,217
I don't...
Who's... who's Mr. 206?

1324
00:56:50,241 --> 00:56:51,802
He's a pretty famous stuntman,

1325
00:56:51,826 --> 00:56:53,470
and he's Doug's mentor.

1326
00:56:53,494 --> 00:56:55,806
Okay. Okay, fine,
then this is easy.

1327
00:56:55,830 --> 00:56:57,891
We just take Kevin
to see Mr. 206.

1328
00:56:57,915 --> 00:56:59,726
We?
Nope, no way.

1329
00:56:59,750 --> 00:57:02,687
I will not be going to see 206.

1330
00:57:02,711 --> 00:57:04,648
He is a complete psychopath.

1331
00:57:04,672 --> 00:57:06,233
He nearly killed me
in a stunt rehearsal

1332
00:57:06,257 --> 00:57:07,901
and then tried to
make me apologize.

1333
00:57:07,925 --> 00:57:09,611
Jordan, Jordan,
Kevin needs you right now.

1334
00:57:09,635 --> 00:57:11,196
- He needs me?
- He does, right now.

1335
00:57:11,220 --> 00:57:12,989
I thought Kevin
doesn't need anyone,

1336
00:57:13,013 --> 00:57:15,325
until he needs everyone.

1337
00:57:15,349 --> 00:57:18,954
Okay, fine, then
I'll take him to see Mr. 206.

1338
00:57:18,978 --> 00:57:20,413
Why?
This is Kevin's problem.

1339
00:57:20,437 --> 00:57:21,957
You should just let him
go on his own.

1340
00:57:21,981 --> 00:57:25,140
No. As long as
I'm Kevin's assistant...

1341
00:57:26,318 --> 00:57:28,352
he'll never drive
himself anywhere.

1342
00:57:31,031 --> 00:57:32,551
- It's in neutral.
- I am so sorry.

1343
00:57:32,575 --> 00:57:34,845
We're slowing down.
I was trying to go faster.

1344
00:57:34,869 --> 00:57:36,568
We did the opposite.

1345
00:57:49,508 --> 00:57:52,404
I am so happy my mom was able
to nurse you back to health.

1346
00:57:52,428 --> 00:57:53,947
What did you just say to me?

1347
00:57:53,971 --> 00:57:56,408
The woman put drugs
in my goddamn pork chop.

1348
00:57:56,432 --> 00:57:59,119
- She tried to poison me.
- She's amazing, right?

1349
00:57:59,143 --> 00:58:01,913
Look at you now.
Okay, come on, come on.

1350
00:58:01,937 --> 00:58:03,915
So tell me,
why do they call him 206?

1351
00:58:03,939 --> 00:58:06,209
'Cause there's 206 bones
in the human body.

1352
00:58:06,233 --> 00:58:08,128
They say, before he became
a mentor in the stunt game,

1353
00:58:08,152 --> 00:58:09,504
that he broke every
single one of 'em.

1354
00:58:09,528 --> 00:58:11,089
Actually, no, it was 205.

1355
00:58:11,113 --> 00:58:12,299
But then, on his
last day of filming,

1356
00:58:12,323 --> 00:58:13,967
they say he broke the 206th one.

1357
00:58:13,991 --> 00:58:15,427
What?
Which one was that?

1358
00:58:15,451 --> 00:58:17,095
Pinky toe, right foot, snapped.

1359
00:58:17,119 --> 00:58:18,610
Goddamn.

1360
00:58:21,957 --> 00:58:24,658
Hello?

1361
00:58:26,462 --> 00:58:28,398
206?

1362
00:58:28,422 --> 00:58:30,984
Hey, M... Mr. Two Hundred
And Six?

1363
00:58:31,008 --> 00:58:33,403
- It's 2-0-6.
- Right.

1364
00:58:33,427 --> 00:58:36,489
Sign says
no soliciting. Go away.

1365
00:58:36,513 --> 00:58:38,909
Yeah, no, we... we didn't see
a sign. There's no sign.

1366
00:58:38,933 --> 00:58:40,327
Who took my fucking sign?

1367
00:58:40,351 --> 00:58:41,703
We didn't take it.

1368
00:58:41,727 --> 00:58:43,580
Hey, either way,
we're not here to solicit.

1369
00:58:43,604 --> 00:58:46,249
We... we're not selling anything.

1370
00:58:46,273 --> 00:58:48,210
You don't even recognize
my voice.

1371
00:58:48,234 --> 00:58:49,920
You know who's
at the door right now?

1372
00:58:49,944 --> 00:58:53,131
This is Kevin Hart,
comedian, actor.

1373
00:58:53,155 --> 00:58:58,053
I just told you... to go...

1374
00:58:58,077 --> 00:58:59,221
Okay, okay, okay, okay.

1375
00:58:59,245 --> 00:59:01,097
The fuck away!

1376
00:59:01,121 --> 00:59:03,433
Hey! Shit!

1377
00:59:03,457 --> 00:59:05,852
Come on, baby, it's me.

1378
00:59:05,876 --> 00:59:07,743
- It's me.
- It's Kevin Hart.

1379
00:59:10,256 --> 00:59:11,566
Give me one good reason
why I shouldn't

1380
00:59:11,590 --> 00:59:13,401
kill the both of you right now.

1381
00:59:13,425 --> 00:59:15,028
Kevin's about to have a movie
that's gonna get him an Oscar.

1382
00:59:15,052 --> 00:59:17,948
Well, okay.
Wait, wait, wait. Your protege.

1383
00:59:17,972 --> 00:59:19,824
We're here because of your
protege, Doug Eubanks.

1384
00:59:19,848 --> 00:59:21,451
What about him?

1385
00:59:21,475 --> 00:59:24,454
Well, we... we're here
'cause he's losing his shit.

1386
00:59:24,478 --> 00:59:26,164
Yeah, no, he's absolute...

1387
00:59:26,188 --> 00:59:28,792
That's not true, 'cause
you don't deserve a lie.

1388
00:59:28,816 --> 00:59:30,168
I'm not here to lie to you.

1389
00:59:30,192 --> 00:59:31,934
I'm gonna be honest
with you, man.

1390
00:59:33,070 --> 00:59:34,881
I screwed him over.

1391
00:59:34,905 --> 00:59:36,466
I screwed him over,
and I'm here because

1392
00:59:36,490 --> 00:59:37,801
I want to make things right,
and I can't do that

1393
00:59:37,825 --> 00:59:40,275
without you, Mr. 206.

1394
00:59:47,626 --> 00:59:49,576
Well, how do you like your tea?

1395
01:00:05,436 --> 01:00:07,038
Do I make you uncomfortable?

1396
01:00:07,062 --> 01:00:09,040
No. I... I'm just so nervous
for you, sir,

1397
01:00:09,064 --> 01:00:11,293
because you got really hot tea,
and it's just

1398
01:00:11,317 --> 01:00:14,045
right above your balls, so...

1399
01:00:14,069 --> 01:00:17,771
What are you doing?
What are you...

1400
01:00:18,907 --> 01:00:20,427
My God, what the fuck?

1401
01:00:20,451 --> 01:00:21,886
- Man, come on.
- What the fuck?

1402
01:00:21,910 --> 01:00:23,096
Come, on man.

1403
01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:24,514
The ancient Babylonians believed

1404
01:00:24,538 --> 01:00:26,655
that undergarments
were a sign of weakness.

1405
01:00:28,709 --> 01:00:30,325
I tend to agree.

1406
01:00:31,170 --> 01:00:32,703
I respect that.

1407
01:00:33,839 --> 01:00:35,734
I respect that.

1408
01:00:35,758 --> 01:00:38,333
I just...

1409
01:00:41,638 --> 01:00:44,075
I just want to,
I wanna thank you

1410
01:00:44,099 --> 01:00:45,744
for taking the time,
'cause I know you didn't...

1411
01:00:45,768 --> 01:00:48,038
Cut the compliments.
Tell me why you're here.

1412
01:00:48,062 --> 01:00:53,460
I, um, I know
you're Doug's mentor, right?

1413
01:00:53,484 --> 01:00:55,045
If there's anyone
who knows how he operates,

1414
01:00:55,069 --> 01:00:57,589
how he thinks, it's...

1415
01:00:57,613 --> 01:00:59,271
I need your help.

1416
01:01:04,787 --> 01:01:06,570
Watch your eye.
Watch your eye.

1417
01:01:11,168 --> 01:01:12,868
Let's walk.

1418
01:01:14,755 --> 01:01:17,195
Doug Eubanks is more than
just a former student of mine.

1419
01:01:18,175 --> 01:01:20,709
He's my friend, my confidant.

1420
01:01:22,012 --> 01:01:24,046
Briefly, in 2003,
he was my lover.

1421
01:01:25,516 --> 01:01:27,077
Doug is the most
fearless stunt performer

1422
01:01:27,101 --> 01:01:29,371
that I've ever trained.

1423
01:01:29,395 --> 01:01:31,664
One time, he asked me
to stab him with an ice pick

1424
01:01:31,688 --> 01:01:33,291
'cause he needed
to know how it felt so he could

1425
01:01:33,315 --> 01:01:34,959
replicate that reaction
when the cameras are rolling.

1426
01:01:34,983 --> 01:01:37,504
- Did you do it?
- With pleasure.

1427
01:01:37,528 --> 01:01:39,881
As a stuntman, you embrace pain,

1428
01:01:39,905 --> 01:01:41,466
lay your life on the line
for your actor

1429
01:01:41,490 --> 01:01:42,884
every day you step on set.

1430
01:01:42,908 --> 01:01:46,096
And occasionally,
an actor says thanks.

1431
01:01:46,120 --> 01:01:48,223
Sometimes they don't say thanks.

1432
01:01:48,247 --> 01:01:49,933
Sometimes they just fire you
without warning 'cause

1433
01:01:49,957 --> 01:01:51,726
all of a sudden they think
they're John fucking Rambo,

1434
01:01:51,750 --> 01:01:54,354
but they're nothing but a
little bitch with a giant ego.

1435
01:01:54,378 --> 01:01:56,554
Yeah, yeah. So, hey, are you
gonna talk to him for me?

1436
01:01:58,132 --> 01:01:59,748
Actors talk.

1437
01:02:00,384 --> 01:02:02,918
Stuntmen... stunt.

1438
01:02:04,388 --> 01:02:07,923
You're gonna have to fight Doug,
and you're gonna lose.

1439
01:02:09,351 --> 01:02:10,912
Well, shit, then why are you...

1440
01:02:10,936 --> 01:02:12,288
Why are you even
talking to me, then?

1441
01:02:12,312 --> 01:02:13,581
Only reason I'm talking to you

1442
01:02:13,605 --> 01:02:15,458
is 'cause every person
is trapped

1443
01:02:15,482 --> 01:02:17,419
in a story of their own design,
and I know the exact story

1444
01:02:17,443 --> 01:02:18,753
you're trapped in.

1445
01:02:18,777 --> 01:02:20,046
Yeah, it's a revenge story.

1446
01:02:20,070 --> 01:02:21,464
It's not revenge.

1447
01:02:21,488 --> 01:02:23,341
It's redemption.

1448
01:02:23,365 --> 01:02:25,315
No, I'm pretty sure
it's revenge.

1449
01:02:26,660 --> 01:02:28,110
What do you really want?

1450
01:02:29,621 --> 01:02:31,683
I want my life back.
I want to defeat Doug.

1451
01:02:31,707 --> 01:02:34,144
Defeat Doug?
Doug's the enemy.

1452
01:02:34,168 --> 01:02:36,354
Doug's the bad guy?
You're the good guy?

1453
01:02:36,378 --> 01:02:37,856
I just want to make sure
I'm hearing this right.

1454
01:02:37,880 --> 01:02:40,859
Okay, maybe we're both bad guys.

1455
01:02:40,883 --> 01:02:42,541
No, Kevin.

1456
01:02:44,178 --> 01:02:45,919
You're both good guys.

1457
01:02:50,058 --> 01:02:51,578
Did you hear that?

1458
01:02:51,602 --> 01:02:53,885
Yeah, I'm trying
to figure it out.

1459
01:02:55,772 --> 01:02:57,459
He fucked Doug.

1460
01:02:57,483 --> 01:02:59,586
I didn't hear that.
What?

1461
01:02:59,610 --> 01:03:01,045
He fucked Doug.

1462
01:03:01,069 --> 01:03:02,839
I didn't catch that.
I was...

1463
01:03:02,863 --> 01:03:04,257
Right at the top, he said it.
Right over there, he said...

1464
01:03:04,281 --> 01:03:06,092
No. I saw a ladybug.
I gotta...

1465
01:03:06,116 --> 01:03:07,635
So that means he's kind
of fucked you before.

1466
01:03:07,659 --> 01:03:09,943
No, no.
Wait a minute, no, he hasn't.

1467
01:03:13,081 --> 01:03:15,991
This is my dojo.

1468
01:03:18,253 --> 01:03:19,731
Well, it kind of
looks like a bunch of trees

1469
01:03:19,755 --> 01:03:21,649
if you ask me, but alright.

1470
01:03:21,673 --> 01:03:24,444
- Goodness gracious.
- Excuse me.

1471
01:03:24,468 --> 01:03:25,987
- Sorry.
- Coming through.

1472
01:03:26,011 --> 01:03:28,364
- Yep. Yep. Sorry.
- Coming through.

1473
01:03:28,388 --> 01:03:29,782
You've really
gotta share the trail, guys.

1474
01:03:29,806 --> 01:03:31,409
- It's our fault.
- Sorry.

1475
01:03:31,433 --> 01:03:32,869
We didn't even know
it was a trail, to be honest.

1476
01:03:32,893 --> 01:03:35,413
I had no idea.

1477
01:03:35,437 --> 01:03:38,291
So this is where you're gonna
train me to face Doug?

1478
01:03:38,315 --> 01:03:40,126
Let me explain something to you.

1479
01:03:40,150 --> 01:03:43,463
Stuntman's Creed, be thy actor.

1480
01:03:43,487 --> 01:03:46,341
Every role you ever trained
for, Doug trained harder.

1481
01:03:46,365 --> 01:03:48,218
Every martial art
you supposedly learn,

1482
01:03:48,242 --> 01:03:49,886
Doug learned it for real.

1483
01:03:49,910 --> 01:03:52,096
He had to, 'cause when
the cameras were rolling,

1484
01:03:52,120 --> 01:03:54,557
it was his ass on the line,
not yours, sitting

1485
01:03:54,581 --> 01:03:56,518
in video village,
sipping lattes,

1486
01:03:56,542 --> 01:03:58,102
eating sushi off of nude models.

1487
01:03:58,126 --> 01:04:00,438
Hey. First of all,
I got a bad case of pinkeye.

1488
01:04:00,462 --> 01:04:02,148
I learned my lesson.

1489
01:04:02,172 --> 01:04:03,650
Hasn't happened since.

1490
01:04:03,674 --> 01:04:05,527
You never appreciated Doug.

1491
01:04:05,551 --> 01:04:06,958
Actors never do.

1492
01:04:07,803 --> 01:04:09,531
Anyway, I recently learned that

1493
01:04:09,555 --> 01:04:12,035
there's a lot of people that
I may have under appreciated.

1494
01:04:13,267 --> 01:04:15,245
Good, Kevin.

1495
01:04:15,269 --> 01:04:17,455
That's growth.

1496
01:04:17,479 --> 01:04:20,041
- See that branch up there?
- Yeah.

1497
01:04:20,065 --> 01:04:21,668
Climb that tree,
crawl out to that branch,

1498
01:04:21,692 --> 01:04:23,475
and give me a dead
drop to the ground.

1499
01:04:25,779 --> 01:04:28,174
How am I supposed to...

1500
01:04:28,198 --> 01:04:30,218
You want to know
how Doug thinks?

1501
01:04:30,242 --> 01:04:31,553
You want to know
how he operates?

1502
01:04:31,577 --> 01:04:33,805
You must see the world
as he sees it,

1503
01:04:33,829 --> 01:04:36,029
without fear,
without hesitation.

1504
01:04:39,501 --> 01:04:40,770
I'm a little scared, though.

1505
01:04:40,794 --> 01:04:42,397
I'm just gonna throw
that out there.

1506
01:04:42,421 --> 01:04:44,607
- It's not like I'm...
- I volunteer as tribute.

1507
01:04:44,631 --> 01:04:47,402
Damn right you do.

1508
01:04:47,426 --> 01:04:49,237
This is Kevin's journey.
That's his dead-drop branch.

1509
01:04:49,261 --> 01:04:50,697
No, that's what
you don't understand.

1510
01:04:50,721 --> 01:04:52,615
You know why?
Because what's Kevin's is mine.

1511
01:04:52,639 --> 01:04:53,783
- Well...
- Well, right.

1512
01:04:53,807 --> 01:04:55,076
I mean, not your
material wealth.

1513
01:04:55,100 --> 01:04:56,286
- Of course, or your income.
- No.

1514
01:04:56,310 --> 01:04:57,829
- Or your success.
- No.

1515
01:04:57,853 --> 01:04:59,163
Or your rare collection of cars,
which are amazing.

1516
01:04:59,187 --> 01:05:00,498
- No.
- Right, none of that.

1517
01:05:00,522 --> 01:05:03,793
But his pain, his anguish...

1518
01:05:03,817 --> 01:05:05,753
Basically, anything that's bad,
anything that's bad...

1519
01:05:05,777 --> 01:05:07,936
that's mine, too.
That is my journey.

1520
01:05:11,533 --> 01:05:13,066
- What?
- Brother.

1521
01:05:17,414 --> 01:05:19,489
My gosh.

1522
01:05:20,959 --> 01:05:22,895
What's happening, guys?

1523
01:05:22,919 --> 01:05:24,314
Guys, this don't look
good from the back.

1524
01:05:24,338 --> 01:05:25,912
What's going on?

1525
01:05:37,851 --> 01:05:40,747
Kevin, you can't
compete with Doug...

1526
01:05:40,771 --> 01:05:44,055
but you clearly have the one
thing he will never have.

1527
01:05:45,609 --> 01:05:47,545
You have a sidekick.

1528
01:05:47,569 --> 01:05:50,340
Andre?
No, Andre is my...

1529
01:05:50,364 --> 01:05:52,244
Andre's like my...
What would you call it?

1530
01:05:53,575 --> 01:05:54,969
No, no, no. No, no.

1531
01:05:54,993 --> 01:05:56,929
- I'm his...
- Hey, hey, hey. No, no, no.

1532
01:05:56,953 --> 01:05:58,765
Andre's your what?
I want you to say it.

1533
01:05:58,789 --> 01:06:00,266
Well, he was gonna say it, too.

1534
01:06:00,290 --> 01:06:01,893
No, no, he's right there.
Andre's your what?

1535
01:06:01,917 --> 01:06:03,269
You don't have to do this, man.

1536
01:06:03,293 --> 01:06:04,562
He's your what?

1537
01:06:04,586 --> 01:06:05,938
Well, he's my assistant,
my assistant.

1538
01:06:05,962 --> 01:06:07,982
He's your...

1539
01:06:08,006 --> 01:06:09,275
- He's...
- Say it.

1540
01:06:09,299 --> 01:06:10,818
Andre's my...
He's my sidekick.

1541
01:06:10,842 --> 01:06:12,779
- Say it.
- He's... Andre's my sidekick.

1542
01:06:12,803 --> 01:06:14,197
- Say it.
- He's my sidekick.

1543
01:06:14,221 --> 01:06:15,531
Yeah, I need you to say it.

1544
01:06:15,555 --> 01:06:17,241
Okay.
Andre... Andre is my sidekick.

1545
01:06:17,265 --> 01:06:18,576
God damn it, Kevin,
I need you to

1546
01:06:18,600 --> 01:06:20,036
fucking say it!

1547
01:06:20,060 --> 01:06:21,371
And I need you to believe it

1548
01:06:21,395 --> 01:06:22,872
deep down in your fucking bones.

1549
01:06:22,896 --> 01:06:26,250
Andre... Andre is my sidekick!

1550
01:06:26,274 --> 01:06:28,670
I said, Andre is my sidekick!

1551
01:06:28,694 --> 01:06:30,088
Who's your sidekick?

1552
01:06:30,112 --> 01:06:31,756
I said, Andre is my sidekick!

1553
01:06:31,780 --> 01:06:35,635
- I'm your sidekick!
- Andre is my si...

1554
01:06:35,659 --> 01:06:38,596
I'm your sidekick!

1555
01:06:38,620 --> 01:06:40,640
What's happening to me, man?

1556
01:06:40,664 --> 01:06:42,892
It's growth, Kevin.

1557
01:06:42,916 --> 01:06:45,186
Growth hurts.

1558
01:06:45,210 --> 01:06:48,119
That's a pain that no double
can take for you.

1559
01:06:50,048 --> 01:06:54,584
You see, Kevin, you came here
seeking a mentor, but it's you.

1560
01:06:55,971 --> 01:06:57,587
You are the mentor.

1561
01:06:59,015 --> 01:07:00,674
Hell yeah.

1562
01:07:03,729 --> 01:07:04,997
You know what?
You know what?

1563
01:07:05,021 --> 01:07:08,014
You two... take this moment,
talk.

1564
01:07:08,942 --> 01:07:10,600
Talk over your new bond.

1565
01:07:11,945 --> 01:07:14,604
I'm gonna go get my tea.

1566
01:07:17,868 --> 01:07:19,679
What a fucking day.

1567
01:07:19,703 --> 01:07:22,473
I mean,
now that I'm essentially,

1568
01:07:22,497 --> 01:07:24,225
I've been deputized
as your sidekick,

1569
01:07:24,249 --> 01:07:26,436
I have an idea for Doug.
We could work together on this.

1570
01:07:26,460 --> 01:07:28,020
We gotta get close to him, okay?

1571
01:07:28,044 --> 01:07:29,981
We don't have to record him
or anything like...

1572
01:07:30,005 --> 01:07:31,705
What's wrong?
What's wrong?

1573
01:07:32,924 --> 01:07:34,444
That scar on his hand.

1574
01:07:34,468 --> 01:07:36,654
Yeah?

1575
01:07:36,678 --> 01:07:38,753
I think I recognize that scar.

1576
01:08:15,008 --> 01:08:16,402
<i>We don't
have any scheduled deliveries.</i>

1577
01:08:16,426 --> 01:08:17,695
<i>Please turn around.</i>

1578
01:08:17,719 --> 01:08:19,489
Hey, pal, I got a hot date

1579
01:08:19,513 --> 01:08:22,700
with my old lady in 30 minutes,
meatball sub night,

1580
01:08:22,724 --> 01:08:25,119
and all's I knows is
I got a package

1581
01:08:25,143 --> 01:08:27,371
from Debra Simon at the studio.

1582
01:08:27,395 --> 01:08:29,916
Now, I can either leave it here,
or I can take it home,

1583
01:08:29,940 --> 01:08:32,223
but you gotta tell me
what you want me to do.

1584
01:08:34,486 --> 01:08:36,130
<i>Go ahead.</i>

1585
01:08:36,154 --> 01:08:39,189
That's what I thought.
I'll see you in a bit. Up, up!

1586
01:08:40,951 --> 01:08:42,720
Okay.

1587
01:08:42,744 --> 01:08:48,017
Hey, Ronald Mondolvia, Mondolvia
Plumbing, license and bonded.

1588
01:08:48,041 --> 01:08:49,685
You know, some guys
are licensed, not bonded.

1589
01:08:49,709 --> 01:08:51,312
Other guys, they're bonded,
not licensed.

1590
01:08:51,336 --> 01:08:53,606
Me, I'm both licensed
and bonded.

1591
01:08:53,630 --> 01:08:55,107
Debra Simon sent a plumber?

1592
01:08:55,131 --> 01:08:57,360
Not a plumber, my man.
The plumber.

1593
01:08:57,384 --> 01:08:59,237
I can plumb anything with pipes.
Fuck it.

1594
01:08:59,261 --> 01:09:00,613
Sometimes I don't
even need pipes.

1595
01:09:00,637 --> 01:09:02,490
One time I plumbed
a manila envelope.

1596
01:09:02,514 --> 01:09:04,325
Water was spouting
fucking everywhere.

1597
01:09:04,349 --> 01:09:05,743
- It was insane.
- So what's in the van?

1598
01:09:05,767 --> 01:09:07,286
My God.

1599
01:09:07,310 --> 01:09:09,872
Hold on to your fucking
beautiful, beautiful balls

1600
01:09:09,896 --> 01:09:11,513
because this, my man...

1601
01:09:12,482 --> 01:09:13,918
It's a commode.

1602
01:09:13,942 --> 01:09:16,546
Imported Italian marble,
beautiful one-piece

1603
01:09:16,570 --> 01:09:18,381
construction, 12-speed bidet.

1604
01:09:18,405 --> 01:09:20,174
We got a little
air fryer on the right.

1605
01:09:20,198 --> 01:09:21,968
You want to cook, eat,
circle of life, shitting,

1606
01:09:21,992 --> 01:09:23,427
eating at the same time,
there's only a couple

1607
01:09:23,451 --> 01:09:24,971
of these in the entire world.

1608
01:09:24,995 --> 01:09:26,264
This, my friend,
probably one of the best

1609
01:09:26,288 --> 01:09:27,557
presents in the universe.

1610
01:09:27,581 --> 01:09:30,323
So can you, you know?

1611
01:09:39,384 --> 01:09:40,987
You gonna help me fucking
bring it in, or no?

1612
01:09:41,011 --> 01:09:42,905
- Alright, fuck it, whatever.
- Yeah, okay.

1613
01:09:42,929 --> 01:09:45,366
I'll supervise.
Pick it up.

1614
01:09:45,390 --> 01:09:47,326
Use your back.

1615
01:09:47,350 --> 01:09:48,619
Whoa, big boy.
Big boy coming through.

1616
01:09:48,643 --> 01:09:50,162
Big boy coming through.
Big boy.

1617
01:09:50,186 --> 01:09:51,914
Okay, Andre has
the guard's attention.

1618
01:09:51,938 --> 01:09:53,207
Okay.

1619
01:09:53,231 --> 01:09:54,876
You sure you're ready for this?

1620
01:09:54,900 --> 01:09:57,295
In our family, if an
A-list actor is in trouble,

1621
01:09:57,319 --> 01:09:59,797
we don't stand quietly by.

1622
01:09:59,821 --> 01:10:02,647
We fight,
and if we must, we die.

1623
01:10:05,035 --> 01:10:08,472
Wow, well, the world
could use more people like...

1624
01:10:08,496 --> 01:10:09,849
Wait, what is your last name?

1625
01:10:09,873 --> 01:10:11,406
Mondolvia.

1626
01:10:15,921 --> 01:10:17,440
Where the hell
does this thing go?

1627
01:10:17,464 --> 01:10:20,735
That is the
million-dollar question?

1628
01:10:20,759 --> 01:10:22,528
Let me think about this.

1629
01:10:22,552 --> 01:10:25,740
Well, you could powder-room it,
show it off like a prize pony,

1630
01:10:25,764 --> 01:10:28,618
or you put it in the main bath.

1631
01:10:28,642 --> 01:10:30,620
Keep all that for yourself?

1632
01:10:30,644 --> 01:10:32,580
Now, there's a
third option, alright?

1633
01:10:32,604 --> 01:10:35,416
Listen up closely 'cause
this one's fucking insane.

1634
01:10:35,440 --> 01:10:37,835
You can put the commode
right here,

1635
01:10:37,859 --> 01:10:40,171
smack dab in the middle
of the living room,

1636
01:10:40,195 --> 01:10:43,049
and you take a big,
greasy shit right here,

1637
01:10:43,073 --> 01:10:44,425
look everybody
right in the eyes,

1638
01:10:44,449 --> 01:10:46,636
make them wonder
what your deal is.

1639
01:10:46,660 --> 01:10:48,429
And I know what
you're thinking, holy shit,

1640
01:10:48,453 --> 01:10:50,514
that's aggressive, right?

1641
01:10:50,538 --> 01:10:51,849
But they'll respect
the shit out of you.

1642
01:10:51,873 --> 01:10:53,184
Wait a minute, don't I know you?

1643
01:10:53,208 --> 01:10:55,478
Don't you know?
Don't you know?

1644
01:10:55,502 --> 01:10:57,271
Yeah, boop, boop, boop, boop.

1645
01:10:57,295 --> 01:10:59,190
Yeah, yeah.
You know what it is?

1646
01:10:59,214 --> 01:11:00,650
Isn't this the place
you took a shit

1647
01:11:00,674 --> 01:11:01,901
so big up there
that people thought there

1648
01:11:01,925 --> 01:11:03,486
was a dog loose in the pipes?

1649
01:11:03,510 --> 01:11:04,946
How the hell am
I gonna take a shit...

1650
01:11:04,970 --> 01:11:06,364
Man, what are you talking about?
No.

1651
01:11:06,388 --> 01:11:07,865
- Wasn't that you?
- No.

1652
01:11:07,889 --> 01:11:09,450
- No?
- A dog in the pipes?

1653
01:11:09,474 --> 01:11:10,701
Maybe it was a dachshund.

1654
01:11:10,725 --> 01:11:12,193
Looked like a dachshund,
your big...

1655
01:11:13,478 --> 01:11:14,664
- No, is that the dog?
- Wait right here.

1656
01:11:14,688 --> 01:11:16,207
I'll deal with you in a minute.

1657
01:11:16,231 --> 01:11:18,459
Yeah, I'm gonna wait right here
in New York City,

1658
01:11:18,483 --> 01:11:20,016
you know what I mean?

1659
01:11:21,111 --> 01:11:23,047
Kevin?
Kevin, are you okay, baby?

1660
01:11:23,071 --> 01:11:24,465
Everything went
incredible up here.

1661
01:11:24,489 --> 01:11:25,967
- You alright?
- Yeah, I'm alright.

1662
01:11:25,991 --> 01:11:28,094
Sweating my goddamn
ass off, though.

1663
01:11:28,118 --> 01:11:30,179
Jesus Christ, how you
ain't cut no holes in here?

1664
01:11:30,203 --> 01:11:31,889
Let's get you out of here
and kick some fucking ass.

1665
01:11:31,913 --> 01:11:33,474
- What do you say?
- Alright, come on.

1666
01:11:33,498 --> 01:11:35,073
- Let's go.
- Yes!

1667
01:11:49,264 --> 01:11:51,534
- What are you doing?
- Funny story.

1668
01:11:51,558 --> 01:11:52,994
You're gonna lose
your goddamn mind.

1669
01:11:53,018 --> 01:11:56,414
I drilled this puppy
a little bit too hard.

1670
01:11:56,438 --> 01:11:58,916
I can't get it out without
the aid of some tools.

1671
01:11:58,940 --> 01:12:00,501
So give me a second.
I'm gonna grab some tools.

1672
01:12:00,525 --> 01:12:02,503
I'll be right back.
Okay, talk soon.

1673
01:12:02,527 --> 01:12:04,130
Hey, Andre,
you better stop playing.

1674
01:12:04,154 --> 01:12:06,924
Seriously, man.
Andre?

1675
01:12:06,948 --> 01:12:08,690
Andre?

1676
01:12:16,666 --> 01:12:19,937
Hey, were those fireworks?

1677
01:12:19,961 --> 01:12:22,940
I live next door,
at the Mondolvia estate.

1678
01:12:22,964 --> 01:12:25,651
Did you set those off?
You know that that is illegal.

1679
01:12:25,675 --> 01:12:28,320
They're not ours.
I don't know who set these off.

1680
01:12:28,344 --> 01:12:30,656
Well, it scared
the bejesus out of me,

1681
01:12:30,680 --> 01:12:32,616
and I have a pacemaker.

1682
01:12:32,640 --> 01:12:34,577
What do you have to
say for yourself?

1683
01:12:34,601 --> 01:12:36,287
Look, lady, I told you,
they're not my fireworks,

1684
01:12:36,311 --> 01:12:38,164
and I didn't shit in any pipes!

1685
01:12:38,188 --> 01:12:39,554
What?

1686
01:12:44,819 --> 01:12:46,561
That's for Andre.

1687
01:12:52,994 --> 01:12:54,360
Andre?

1688
01:12:55,455 --> 01:12:57,363
Andre?
Come on, man, I'm serious.

1689
01:12:59,292 --> 01:13:00,811
There you go.
What took you so long?

1690
01:13:00,835 --> 01:13:03,105
Where you go?
Leaving me in this box

1691
01:13:03,129 --> 01:13:05,455
with all that goddamn quiet.
Don't do that.

1692
01:13:07,634 --> 01:13:09,653
The fuck is that?

1693
01:13:09,677 --> 01:13:11,002
Hey.

1694
01:13:12,305 --> 01:13:13,824
Andre, that's a chainsaw?
Okay, hold on.

1695
01:13:13,848 --> 01:13:15,465
Wait, wait, wait.

1696
01:13:17,393 --> 01:13:19,580
Okay, okay, okay,
okay, okay, okay.

1697
01:13:19,604 --> 01:13:22,083
Slow it down.
Slow it down. Slow it down!

1698
01:13:22,107 --> 01:13:23,834
You're gonna cut
my fucking head!

1699
01:13:23,858 --> 01:13:25,503
You're gonna cut my head!

1700
01:13:25,527 --> 01:13:29,131
No more chainsaw.
No more chainsaw!

1701
01:13:29,155 --> 01:13:31,258
No more chainsaw, okay?

1702
01:13:31,282 --> 01:13:33,260
Jesus Christ.

1703
01:13:33,284 --> 01:13:35,888
Shit.
What the fuck, Andre?

1704
01:13:35,912 --> 01:13:38,821
Shit.
Shit.

1705
01:13:40,041 --> 01:13:42,144
On behalf
of stunt actors everywhere,

1706
01:13:42,168 --> 01:13:47,330
I'm excited to say,
this is your day of reckoning!

1707
01:13:49,259 --> 01:13:51,237
Hold up!

1708
01:13:51,261 --> 01:13:52,863
Trying to tell me a big old
stunt legend like yourself

1709
01:13:52,887 --> 01:13:55,838
need a chainsaw?

1710
01:13:59,060 --> 01:14:01,622
That's what the fuck
I'm talking about. Two men.

1711
01:14:01,646 --> 01:14:04,430
How about two dogs in a bowl?
I want to eat.

1712
01:14:06,317 --> 01:14:08,462
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1713
01:14:08,486 --> 01:14:10,047
You got a knife.

1714
01:14:10,071 --> 01:14:13,342
Big old man like yourself,
stunt legend,

1715
01:14:13,366 --> 01:14:15,344
you need a knife
for little old me?

1716
01:14:15,368 --> 01:14:16,762
That's what you need?

1717
01:14:16,786 --> 01:14:18,264
Fuck it.

1718
01:14:18,288 --> 01:14:20,089
- I'll kill you with my hands.
- What?

1719
01:14:25,962 --> 01:14:27,940
Yeah, you know this
ain't go too good for you

1720
01:14:27,964 --> 01:14:30,151
in that little, shitty hallway.

1721
01:14:30,175 --> 01:14:32,570
Man, Jordan whooped your ass.

1722
01:14:32,594 --> 01:14:36,031
Mask I was wearing was 100
percent polyester, unbreathable.

1723
01:14:36,055 --> 01:14:37,491
Sweating into my contacts.

1724
01:14:37,515 --> 01:14:38,909
Hell, a child could
have kicked my ass.

1725
01:14:38,933 --> 01:14:40,286
That's a real elaborate excuse,

1726
01:14:40,310 --> 01:14:42,051
don't you think?
Superman punch!

1727
01:14:45,440 --> 01:14:46,889
Shit!

1728
01:14:47,984 --> 01:14:49,475
Shit.

1729
01:14:55,700 --> 01:14:57,678
Shit. Andre!

1730
01:14:57,702 --> 01:14:59,722
Andre, do the sidekick stuff!

1731
01:14:59,746 --> 01:15:02,308
I made all that shit up
about your sidekick.

1732
01:15:02,332 --> 01:15:04,143
You think I'd help you?

1733
01:15:04,167 --> 01:15:07,688
You think I'd put a greedy,
unappreciative,

1734
01:15:07,712 --> 01:15:09,773
overrated actor over a stuntman?

1735
01:15:09,797 --> 01:15:12,818
I just thought
it'd be fun to give you

1736
01:15:12,842 --> 01:15:15,529
some false hope before you died.

1737
01:15:15,553 --> 01:15:18,324
Shit!
Yo, you gonna break my arm!

1738
01:15:18,348 --> 01:15:20,326
Yeah, and every other
one of the 206 bones

1739
01:15:20,350 --> 01:15:23,370
in your body,
and then I'm gonna eat your ass.

1740
01:15:23,394 --> 01:15:26,012
I knew it.
I knew you were a ass-eater.

1741
01:15:32,237 --> 01:15:33,631
- Hey.
- I'll stab you.

1742
01:15:33,655 --> 01:15:35,007
Cute knife.
What are you gonna do with that?

1743
01:15:35,031 --> 01:15:38,135
You gonna hurt me with that?

1744
01:15:38,159 --> 01:15:40,776
No, but she is.

1745
01:15:43,539 --> 01:15:45,114
Shit.

1746
01:15:46,209 --> 01:15:47,478
You got him.

1747
01:15:47,502 --> 01:15:48,854
It's...
Okay.

1748
01:15:48,878 --> 01:15:51,190
Um, holy shit.

1749
01:15:51,214 --> 01:15:53,192
Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, hey, hey.

1750
01:15:53,216 --> 01:15:55,361
Okay, hey, hey, hey, hey,
look at me. Look at me.

1751
01:15:55,385 --> 01:15:58,280
Eyes. You good.

1752
01:15:58,304 --> 01:16:00,324
Thirsty.

1753
01:16:00,348 --> 01:16:02,868
- You what?
- Th... thirsty.

1754
01:16:02,892 --> 01:16:05,134
Well, get you
something to drink.

1755
01:16:06,938 --> 01:16:08,666
You fucking threw
a knife in his head.

1756
01:16:08,690 --> 01:16:11,627
I didn't know what else to do.
I meant for his shoulder.

1757
01:16:11,651 --> 01:16:13,212
How did you mean
for his shoulder?

1758
01:16:13,236 --> 01:16:14,880
Fucking size of the fireplace.

1759
01:16:14,904 --> 01:16:16,729
That's him.

1760
01:16:19,200 --> 01:16:20,970
He's awake.
It's a good sign.

1761
01:16:20,994 --> 01:16:22,972
It's a good thing.
Look, he's fine. He's fine.

1762
01:16:22,996 --> 01:16:24,265
What are you talking, he's fine?

1763
01:16:24,289 --> 01:16:26,100
I mean, he's...

1764
01:16:26,124 --> 01:16:28,978
He's a fucking zombie.
What do you mean, he's fine?

1765
01:16:29,002 --> 01:16:31,313
God, he's gonna burn himself.

1766
01:16:31,337 --> 01:16:33,065
He's gonna get a burn on
his hand or something.

1767
01:16:33,089 --> 01:16:34,400
It's not really the worst thing

1768
01:16:34,424 --> 01:16:35,567
that could happen to him
at this point.

1769
01:16:35,591 --> 01:16:37,194
That's true.

1770
01:16:37,218 --> 01:16:38,988
Hey!
There he is.

1771
01:16:39,012 --> 01:16:40,461
How you doing, man?

1772
01:16:41,222 --> 01:16:43,214
Jesus Christ.

1773
01:16:44,517 --> 01:16:46,245
- He's okay.
- He's just taking a nap.

1774
01:16:46,269 --> 01:16:47,871
He's not dead.
He's fine.

1775
01:16:47,895 --> 01:16:49,248
- He's okay?
- Yeah.

1776
01:16:49,272 --> 01:16:51,834
Wait, where's Andre?

1777
01:16:51,858 --> 01:16:53,752
Where's my sweet boy?

1778
01:16:53,776 --> 01:16:56,630
Don't you worry,
'cause I found him.

1779
01:16:56,654 --> 01:16:58,799
Alright, I'm sorry.

1780
01:16:58,823 --> 01:17:01,093
I made an oopsie-daisy.
I got captured.

1781
01:17:01,117 --> 01:17:03,220
I thought I heard your voice,
but it wasn't your voice.

1782
01:17:03,244 --> 01:17:05,014
It was his voice. I'm the worst
sidekick in the world.

1783
01:17:05,038 --> 01:17:06,557
- Hey, shut up.
- I'm gonna shut up.

1784
01:17:06,581 --> 01:17:07,891
- Shut up.
- I'm gonna shut up.

1785
01:17:07,915 --> 01:17:10,060
You hurt one hair
on my son's head,

1786
01:17:10,084 --> 01:17:12,271
I swear to God, motherfucker,

1787
01:17:12,295 --> 01:17:16,150
I will split you
from chin to balls.

1788
01:17:16,174 --> 01:17:17,860
- Who the fuck are you?
- That's my mom.

1789
01:17:17,884 --> 01:17:20,029
I love you, mom.
If I die, I love you in heaven.

1790
01:17:20,053 --> 01:17:21,739
What the hell is
your mother doing here, boy?

1791
01:17:21,763 --> 01:17:24,658
I'm here for moral support,
and I love him.

1792
01:17:24,682 --> 01:17:26,118
I love you, mom.

1793
01:17:26,142 --> 01:17:28,120
But I will fuck you up!

1794
01:17:28,144 --> 01:17:29,621
- Try me!
- Mom...

1795
01:17:29,645 --> 01:17:31,457
I love you.

1796
01:17:31,481 --> 01:17:33,459
How come y'all
don't have no guns?

1797
01:17:33,483 --> 01:17:35,044
'Cause we're not here
to kill anybody, Doug.

1798
01:17:35,068 --> 01:17:37,880
Is that right?

1799
01:17:37,904 --> 01:17:40,549
Then where's Mr. 206 at?

1800
01:17:40,573 --> 01:17:43,482
He's... making breakfast.

1801
01:17:47,872 --> 01:17:49,947
This is a fucking joke to you.

1802
01:17:51,417 --> 01:17:53,576
It's a fucking joke to you.

1803
01:17:55,505 --> 01:17:57,941
Shut your ass up.
Fuck you crying for?

1804
01:17:57,965 --> 01:18:02,571
- 'Cause I can feel your...
- That man was my mentor.

1805
01:18:02,595 --> 01:18:06,116
He was my muse, my rock.

1806
01:18:06,140 --> 01:18:07,993
And in 2003, for a brief period

1807
01:18:08,017 --> 01:18:10,371
where I was confused about
my sexuality, he was my lover.

1808
01:18:10,395 --> 01:18:12,247
- Okay.
- Sounds like a very special...

1809
01:18:12,271 --> 01:18:13,582
Shut your ass up. Don't...

1810
01:18:13,606 --> 01:18:15,501
Hey, hey, hey, listen to me.

1811
01:18:15,525 --> 01:18:17,753
Doug, we are sorry
for your loss, man.

1812
01:18:17,777 --> 01:18:19,296
- So sorry.
- We're sorry.

1813
01:18:19,320 --> 01:18:23,300
You're sorry?

1814
01:18:23,324 --> 01:18:25,761
See, y'all are
a bunch of brainiacs.

1815
01:18:25,785 --> 01:18:27,096
I thought I had all you dead

1816
01:18:27,120 --> 01:18:29,515
in that goddamn
business offices, I did.

1817
01:18:29,539 --> 01:18:30,974
Alright, Doug.

1818
01:18:30,998 --> 01:18:33,602
Doug, listen to me.
Don't you hurt him, man.

1819
01:18:33,626 --> 01:18:35,562
You hear me?
Don't hurt him.

1820
01:18:35,586 --> 01:18:38,315
'Cause you care all of a sudden?

1821
01:18:38,339 --> 01:18:41,527
All of a sudden, you got
a fucking heart, Tin Man?

1822
01:18:41,551 --> 01:18:43,529
You don't care about nothing.

1823
01:18:43,553 --> 01:18:46,532
This man ain't nothing
but an employee of yours,

1824
01:18:46,556 --> 01:18:49,410
Which means he's disposable.
Ain't that right?

1825
01:18:49,434 --> 01:18:51,328
That's not true.

1826
01:18:51,352 --> 01:18:53,302
The man is the complete
opposite of that.

1827
01:18:54,689 --> 01:18:57,584
- Andre is 34 years old.
- 35.

1828
01:18:57,608 --> 01:18:59,044
He's left-handed.

1829
01:18:59,068 --> 01:19:00,629
Right-handed.

1830
01:19:00,653 --> 01:19:01,964
Afraid of scorpions.

1831
01:19:01,988 --> 01:19:03,757
I love scorpions.

1832
01:19:03,781 --> 01:19:05,217
He won a sixth-grade
spelling bee.

1833
01:19:05,241 --> 01:19:06,760
I got fourth place.

1834
01:19:06,784 --> 01:19:08,345
He memorized every
single line of House Party,

1835
01:19:08,369 --> 01:19:09,638
both Kid's and Play's.

1836
01:19:09,662 --> 01:19:10,973
- You did that.
- I did do that.

1837
01:19:10,997 --> 01:19:12,558
That is me.

1838
01:19:12,582 --> 01:19:15,853
Andre is the one man
that I cannot live without.

1839
01:19:15,877 --> 01:19:17,855
I'm with you, ride or die,

1840
01:19:17,879 --> 01:19:19,189
although I was hoping
for a little bit

1841
01:19:19,213 --> 01:19:20,607
more ride and a little less die.

1842
01:19:20,631 --> 01:19:22,359
I think I'm gonna die,
like, really soon.

1843
01:19:22,383 --> 01:19:23,569
- Enough, enough.
- I'm gonna shut up.

1844
01:19:23,593 --> 01:19:26,071
Doug, now stop it.

1845
01:19:26,095 --> 01:19:27,865
You don't even want him, man.

1846
01:19:27,889 --> 01:19:30,200
You want me.
I'm the one who messed up.

1847
01:19:30,224 --> 01:19:33,370
I'm the one that threw you out
like Tuesday's trash

1848
01:19:33,394 --> 01:19:35,831
and left you on the side
of the goddamn curb

1849
01:19:35,855 --> 01:19:38,083
without the blink of an eye.
I did that.

1850
01:19:38,107 --> 01:19:42,296
You want me,
not him, so let him go.

1851
01:19:42,320 --> 01:19:44,882
Let him go and take me.

1852
01:19:44,906 --> 01:19:46,967
That's what you want?
You want me to let him go?

1853
01:19:46,991 --> 01:19:48,635
Say it.
Say it again.

1854
01:19:48,659 --> 01:19:50,220
I want you to let him go.

1855
01:19:50,244 --> 01:19:52,473
- Mama, how about you?
- Please let him go.

1856
01:19:52,497 --> 01:19:53,599
- Let him go?
- Will you let me go?

1857
01:19:53,623 --> 01:19:54,850
You want me to let you go?

1858
01:19:54,874 --> 01:19:56,185
Please, Doug.
That'd be so nice.

1859
01:19:56,209 --> 01:19:57,895
Everybody telling me
to let you go.

1860
01:19:57,919 --> 01:19:59,313
I should just let you go.
Hey, mama, I'm gonna let him go.

1861
01:19:59,337 --> 01:20:01,523
- Thank you.
- Make sure you watch?

1862
01:20:01,547 --> 01:20:02,900
- You watching?
- Thank you.

1863
01:20:02,924 --> 01:20:04,985
Now get your ass...

1864
01:20:05,009 --> 01:20:06,737
- Shit!
- No.

1865
01:20:06,761 --> 01:20:09,615
My, he let go.
He literally let go.

1866
01:20:09,639 --> 01:20:12,618
- Yeah, I let him go good.
- Doug, this ends now.

1867
01:20:12,642 --> 01:20:17,094
Well, that's okay
with me, Little Boots.

1868
01:20:18,022 --> 01:20:20,709
You want to do it the hard way?

1869
01:20:20,733 --> 01:20:24,213
Then let's do it the hard way,
motherfucker.

1870
01:20:24,237 --> 01:20:25,936
I got your ass.

1871
01:20:28,449 --> 01:20:30,344
Honey...

1872
01:20:30,368 --> 01:20:31,803
My baby's alive!

1873
01:20:31,827 --> 01:20:33,138
- He's alive.
- He's alive.

1874
01:20:33,162 --> 01:20:34,848
I'm okay.
I'm fine, I'm fine.

1875
01:20:34,872 --> 01:20:37,434
The table actually
broke my fall. Did you see me?

1876
01:20:37,458 --> 01:20:40,646
That was the dead drop
I never got to do in the woods.

1877
01:20:40,670 --> 01:20:41,939
That was my tribute
to you, Kevin.

1878
01:20:41,963 --> 01:20:43,412
Hey, come on.
Let's get you up.

1879
01:20:44,966 --> 01:20:46,443
Take it easy.

1880
01:20:46,467 --> 01:20:47,861
Okay, we gotta get him...
My God.

1881
01:20:47,885 --> 01:20:48,904
What happened?
What's going on?

1882
01:20:48,928 --> 01:20:50,447
Nothing.

1883
01:20:50,471 --> 01:20:52,950
A tiny, tiny bit
of the table just...

1884
01:20:52,974 --> 01:20:54,340
Where is it?
What part of it?

1885
01:20:55,268 --> 01:20:56,453
Don't touch it.

1886
01:20:56,477 --> 01:20:58,080
- Listen, listen.
- Why, why, why?

1887
01:20:58,104 --> 01:20:59,915
Don't touch it. It's nothing.
It's nothing crazy.

1888
01:20:59,939 --> 01:21:01,333
It's a little splinter.
It's fine.

1889
01:21:01,357 --> 01:21:03,502
Get the tweezers.
Let's get it out.

1890
01:21:03,526 --> 01:21:05,087
Why are you holding me back?

1891
01:21:05,111 --> 01:21:06,672
- Get it out!
- Stop fiddling with it.

1892
01:21:06,696 --> 01:21:07,965
- Yeah, stop for us.
- Come on.

1893
01:21:07,989 --> 01:21:09,508
Let's go get him to a hospital.

1894
01:21:09,532 --> 01:21:11,260
It feels like something's
in my kidney, right?

1895
01:21:11,284 --> 01:21:12,942
- When I walk, at least.
- Come on.

1896
01:21:14,078 --> 01:21:15,903
Okay. Jesus.

1897
01:21:17,290 --> 01:21:19,268
What the hell is that?

1898
01:21:19,292 --> 01:21:21,270
I installed
customizable lights in here,

1899
01:21:21,294 --> 01:21:23,146
but you never had time
to learn how to use 'em.

1900
01:21:23,170 --> 01:21:27,665
All them years
I was your stuntman, Kevin.

1901
01:21:29,343 --> 01:21:30,737
Get him to the hospital, mom.

1902
01:21:30,761 --> 01:21:32,656
- Jordan, come with me.
- Okay, be careful.

1903
01:21:32,680 --> 01:21:34,116
Come on, honey.
Help me out.

1904
01:21:34,140 --> 01:21:35,701
See, Kevin, it wasn't

1905
01:21:35,725 --> 01:21:38,954
just taking falls
and getting kicked in the face

1906
01:21:38,978 --> 01:21:41,623
And getting set on fire.

1907
01:21:41,647 --> 01:21:44,751
That's not all I was doing
to make you look good.

1908
01:21:44,775 --> 01:21:48,589
You remember
Justice Squad Part Two?

1909
01:21:48,613 --> 01:21:52,301
You decided to gain
30 pounds for the part.

1910
01:21:52,325 --> 01:21:56,096
That meant that I had to gain
30 pounds, too, Kevin.

1911
01:21:56,120 --> 01:21:58,223
I'm a freaking diabetic,
you selfish fuck.

1912
01:21:58,247 --> 01:22:00,350
- I almost put myself in a coma.
- Okay, hey.

1913
01:22:00,374 --> 01:22:03,979
Hey, Doug, easy, alright?

1914
01:22:04,003 --> 01:22:05,397
I'm sorry, man.
I made a mistake.

1915
01:22:05,421 --> 01:22:07,316
- Shut your ass up.
- Mom, no.

1916
01:22:07,340 --> 01:22:09,860
Mom, no. Mom, no.
Mom, I can't leave.

1917
01:22:09,884 --> 01:22:11,778
No, I'm not gonna let you die.

1918
01:22:11,802 --> 01:22:14,114
- I'm not losing another.
- Mom, mom, listen, okay?

1919
01:22:14,138 --> 01:22:15,991
Look at me.

1920
01:22:16,015 --> 01:22:18,243
I... I know you wish
you could have saved dad.

1921
01:22:18,267 --> 01:22:19,953
Yeah.

1922
01:22:19,977 --> 01:22:21,747
I know, I know,
but this is different.

1923
01:22:21,771 --> 01:22:23,832
I'm not just Kevin's assistant.

1924
01:22:23,856 --> 01:22:26,335
I'm his sidekick,
and you want to know

1925
01:22:26,359 --> 01:22:28,670
the first rule of sidekick?

1926
01:22:28,694 --> 01:22:30,255
- Do no harm?
- No.

1927
01:22:30,279 --> 01:22:32,132
That's doctor's, mom.

1928
01:22:32,156 --> 01:22:34,468
The first rule of sidekick
is there is no sidekick.

1929
01:22:34,492 --> 01:22:35,761
That's "Fight Club," mom.

1930
01:22:35,785 --> 01:22:36,928
You know that.
Brad Pitt's in that.

1931
01:22:36,952 --> 01:22:38,263
Ed Norton's in that, Mom!

1932
01:22:38,287 --> 01:22:39,890
Just tell me, then.

1933
01:22:39,914 --> 01:22:42,059
Okay, listen to me,
and listen good, man.

1934
01:22:42,083 --> 01:22:44,144
Back when I was a sidekick,
I was always jealous

1935
01:22:44,168 --> 01:22:46,897
of the lead actor
and all the glory they got.

1936
01:22:46,921 --> 01:22:48,231
And I told myself, Doug,

1937
01:22:48,255 --> 01:22:50,067
I said, when I become
a lead actor,

1938
01:22:50,091 --> 01:22:51,985
I'm gonna get that same glory.
I want it.

1939
01:22:52,009 --> 01:22:55,155
I want to taste that.
And I did.

1940
01:22:55,179 --> 01:22:56,657
But when I tasted it,
I handled it wrong.

1941
01:22:56,681 --> 01:22:59,910
I was selfish.
I was stupid, man.

1942
01:22:59,934 --> 01:23:01,620
And now I realize how much
I need my village.

1943
01:23:01,644 --> 01:23:05,248
And, Doug, you're a part
of that village, okay?

1944
01:23:05,272 --> 01:23:07,918
I need you.
I fucking need you, man.

1945
01:23:07,942 --> 01:23:10,796
Give me a chance
to make it up to you.

1946
01:23:10,820 --> 01:23:14,466
Give me a chance to prove to you
that this is what I want,

1947
01:23:14,490 --> 01:23:17,260
that... that I want you,
I need you.

1948
01:23:17,284 --> 01:23:18,512
How about I give you the chance

1949
01:23:18,536 --> 01:23:20,847
to suck my dick?

1950
01:23:20,871 --> 01:23:22,891
I'm living the life, boy.

1951
01:23:22,915 --> 01:23:25,185
I'm in your goddamn mansion.

1952
01:23:25,209 --> 01:23:27,604
I live here.

1953
01:23:27,628 --> 01:23:29,356
I got your career.

1954
01:23:29,380 --> 01:23:31,191
Your agents love me.

1955
01:23:31,215 --> 01:23:34,027
Them boys love me good, got me a
part in a movie and everything.

1956
01:23:34,051 --> 01:23:35,404
I'm about to be Chucky
in the new Child's Play.

1957
01:23:35,428 --> 01:23:36,988
- You took that shit?
- Step back.

1958
01:23:37,012 --> 01:23:39,533
Get back before I goddamn
skin your fucking lip.

1959
01:23:39,557 --> 01:23:42,494
And I signed up
for a new Woody Allen movie.

1960
01:23:42,518 --> 01:23:44,677
Can't wait to see
the press around that.

1961
01:23:45,938 --> 01:23:48,208
No, no, no, no.
Come on, come on, come on.

1962
01:23:48,232 --> 01:23:50,001
Come on, wake up. Wake up.
Come on.

1963
01:23:50,025 --> 01:23:53,463
What?
What's happening?

1964
01:23:53,487 --> 01:23:55,424
I think what you were

1965
01:23:55,448 --> 01:23:58,218
about to do was to try
to convince me that even though

1966
01:23:58,242 --> 01:24:02,222
you've been impaled by
a large piece of

1967
01:24:02,246 --> 01:24:05,308
restoration hardware,
you want to go back in there

1968
01:24:05,332 --> 01:24:07,853
and fight some lunatic

1969
01:24:07,877 --> 01:24:12,357
who is physically superior
to you in every possible way

1970
01:24:12,381 --> 01:24:15,235
because you're not
just his sidekick.

1971
01:24:15,259 --> 01:24:17,418
You're his best friend.

1972
01:24:19,472 --> 01:24:21,158
You're goddamn right I am.

1973
01:24:21,182 --> 01:24:23,160
So why go through
all this trouble?

1974
01:24:23,184 --> 01:24:26,163
The Swedish actor,
the torture chamber.

1975
01:24:26,187 --> 01:24:29,708
You think it's easy stealing
a man's identity?

1976
01:24:29,732 --> 01:24:31,168
You think it's as easy
as stealing his face?

1977
01:24:31,192 --> 01:24:33,086
Well, it's not, Little Pretty.

1978
01:24:33,110 --> 01:24:34,880
It's much harder than that.

1979
01:24:34,904 --> 01:24:37,382
Had to get his goddamn
fingerprints first.

1980
01:24:37,406 --> 01:24:40,260
After that, I had to take
all your goddamn passwords.

1981
01:24:40,284 --> 01:24:43,597
Once I got that, I said,
we get your voice ID.

1982
01:24:43,621 --> 01:24:45,432
All the other secrets
that you hold, I got it.

1983
01:24:45,456 --> 01:24:47,017
I got it good.

1984
01:24:47,041 --> 01:24:49,811
So now you have everything
you need to be Kevin.

1985
01:24:49,835 --> 01:24:52,272
You even removed your mole,
you sick son of a bitch.

1986
01:24:52,296 --> 01:24:53,732
Yeah, I did.

1987
01:24:53,756 --> 01:24:55,275
You know why?

1988
01:24:55,299 --> 01:24:57,277
'Cause I'm Kevin Hart.
I'm Kevin Hart.

1989
01:24:57,301 --> 01:24:58,820
I got all the money
in the world.

1990
01:24:58,844 --> 01:25:00,363
I got the best dermatologist
in the world

1991
01:25:00,387 --> 01:25:02,073
'cause I'm Kevin Hart.

1992
01:25:02,097 --> 01:25:03,700
Dr. Sanchez would
never touch

1993
01:25:03,724 --> 01:25:04,910
that rough-ass skin of yours.

1994
01:25:04,934 --> 01:25:06,703
But she did, motherfucker.
She did!

1995
01:25:06,727 --> 01:25:08,343
Shit!

1996
01:25:22,076 --> 01:25:23,804
No, boy.

1997
01:25:23,828 --> 01:25:26,306
Smack your ass.
No, no!

1998
01:25:26,330 --> 01:25:28,113
- Hold on.
- What?

1999
01:25:29,208 --> 01:25:30,991
Superman punch!

2000
01:25:35,673 --> 01:25:37,748
No, not today.

2001
01:25:40,553 --> 01:25:43,031
- I told you.
- You stupid little bitch.

2002
01:25:43,055 --> 01:25:45,951
Wasn't done with you?

2003
01:25:45,975 --> 01:25:49,788
Yeah. Yeah.

2004
01:25:49,812 --> 01:25:51,081
See, I got your body.

2005
01:25:51,105 --> 01:25:52,541
Doug, you ain't got
to do this, man.

2006
01:25:52,565 --> 01:25:53,959
- Give me a chance.
- But now...

2007
01:25:53,983 --> 01:25:55,252
Doug, no!

2008
01:25:55,276 --> 01:25:56,795
Now I want your soul.

2009
01:25:56,819 --> 01:25:58,046
Don't take my soul.

2010
01:25:58,070 --> 01:25:59,756
I'm gonna get your fucking soul.

2011
01:25:59,780 --> 01:26:03,260
What's happened to me?
What the fuck you just do to me?

2012
01:26:03,284 --> 01:26:05,887
Shit.

2013
01:26:05,911 --> 01:26:07,848
Just stab me in my
goddamn scapula, boy?

2014
01:26:07,872 --> 01:26:09,349
Hey!

2015
01:26:09,373 --> 01:26:11,393
That's a wrap on Doug.

2016
01:26:11,417 --> 01:26:14,563
Got me good.

2017
01:26:14,587 --> 01:26:16,245
Motherfucker!

2018
01:26:25,139 --> 01:26:27,784
Hold on, Andre,
is that the piece of wood

2019
01:26:27,808 --> 01:26:29,494
that was lodged in your side?

2020
01:26:29,518 --> 01:26:31,246
Sidekick for life.

2021
01:26:31,270 --> 01:26:33,790
No, Andre, that was supposed
to stay in to stop the bleeding.

2022
01:26:33,814 --> 01:26:35,500
I told him it was a dumb idea,

2023
01:26:35,524 --> 01:26:37,210
but does he listen to his mom?

2024
01:26:37,234 --> 01:26:38,461
I'd do anything for you, man.

2025
01:26:38,485 --> 01:26:40,380
Hey, hey, look at me.

2026
01:26:40,404 --> 01:26:42,437
You're the best damn sidekick
I ever seen.

2027
01:26:43,449 --> 01:26:44,843
Alright, guys, call the cops.

2028
01:26:44,867 --> 01:26:48,013
Stay with Doug
until they get here, okay?

2029
01:26:48,037 --> 01:26:50,181
I've gotta get you
to the hospital.

2030
01:26:50,205 --> 01:26:52,239
This time, I'm driving.

2031
01:26:54,627 --> 01:26:56,897
You know, actually,
I will drive. I'm gonna drive.

2032
01:26:56,921 --> 01:26:58,273
I saw the way
you drove last time,

2033
01:26:58,297 --> 01:27:00,358
so I think
I'll take it from here.

2034
01:27:00,382 --> 01:27:01,568
- Why don't we just...
- We'll figure it out.

2035
01:27:01,592 --> 01:27:02,903
We'll figure it out.

2036
01:27:02,927 --> 01:27:04,279
Yeah, but I'll use
my feet and hands,

2037
01:27:04,303 --> 01:27:05,530
and you can sit on
my lap or some shit.

2038
01:27:05,554 --> 01:27:07,449
He's in shock.
I got you, buddy.

2039
01:27:07,473 --> 01:27:09,284
Keep an eye on Doug.

2040
01:27:09,308 --> 01:27:11,008
I got you, buddy.

2041
01:27:12,937 --> 01:27:15,248
<i>I mean, I was foolish.</i>

2042
01:27:15,272 --> 01:27:18,960
I let my ego run the show,
and I'm honestly,

2043
01:27:18,984 --> 01:27:21,922
I'm lucky to be alive.
We both are.

2044
01:27:21,946 --> 01:27:23,798
Why is he here with us again?

2045
01:27:23,822 --> 01:27:26,927
'Cause he's a
vital part of my team.

2046
01:27:26,951 --> 01:27:28,428
Okay.

2047
01:27:28,452 --> 01:27:30,096
Hi, hi, hi. Sorry.

2048
01:27:30,120 --> 01:27:32,529
- Sorry I'm late.
- And so is she.

2049
01:27:33,999 --> 01:27:35,532
And so are they.

2050
01:27:38,170 --> 01:27:40,774
Alright.
Who is the older lady?

2051
01:27:40,798 --> 01:27:42,734
Are you talking
about that gorgeous woman

2052
01:27:42,758 --> 01:27:44,778
in the back?
That's my mama.

2053
01:27:44,802 --> 01:27:47,072
Mama, how's the food?

2054
01:27:47,096 --> 01:27:49,032
It's so confusing.

2055
01:27:49,056 --> 01:27:50,700
- Yeah.
- I love it, though.

2056
01:27:50,724 --> 01:27:52,744
I'm not really sure
what her role is yet.

2057
01:27:52,768 --> 01:27:54,829
We're still trying
to iron out the kinks.

2058
01:27:54,853 --> 01:27:56,790
But what I do know is
it takes a village

2059
01:27:56,814 --> 01:27:58,083
to operate the world
of Kevin Hart,

2060
01:27:58,107 --> 01:27:59,709
and she's a villager.

2061
01:27:59,733 --> 01:28:01,086
What's a villager?

2062
01:28:01,110 --> 01:28:03,046
Wow, Kevin, I gotta say,

2063
01:28:03,070 --> 01:28:04,589
you certainly have changed.

2064
01:28:04,613 --> 01:28:06,383
No, I just learned
to appreciate the people

2065
01:28:06,407 --> 01:28:09,733
that matter the most in my life.

2066
01:28:11,912 --> 01:28:16,309
Well, does that mean that
you're in for Jefferson's 2?

2067
01:28:16,333 --> 01:28:19,534
Yeah. Just gotta check
with my stuntman first.

2068
01:28:20,963 --> 01:28:22,704
Isn't he in prison now?

2069
01:28:24,717 --> 01:28:28,279
He is.

2070
01:28:28,303 --> 01:28:31,032
Yeah, I don't know.
It slipped my mind.

2071
01:28:31,056 --> 01:28:32,798
I forgot.

2072
01:28:34,560 --> 01:28:36,385
Forgot?

2073
01:28:42,443 --> 01:28:44,295
Hey. Hey, guard.

2074
01:28:44,319 --> 01:28:47,048
Guard!
Hey, let me out of here.

2075
01:28:47,072 --> 01:28:48,591
I'm telling you,
you got the wrong guy.

2076
01:28:48,615 --> 01:28:51,511
- Shut the fuck up!
- I'm Kevin Hart.

2077
01:28:51,535 --> 01:28:54,111
I'm Kevin Hart!