1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:29,160 Throw your hands together like you just don't care 4 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:30,960 for the one and only 5 00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:34,320 Udom Taephanich. 6 00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:19,240 Thank you very much. 7 00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:21,680 Thank you very much. 8 00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:51,160 Okay, thank you very much. Thank you. 9 00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:59,240 If you're happy and you know it Clap your hands 10 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:05,720 When someone walks onto a stage 11 00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:08,800 and people scream and clap, 12 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:11,000 that person must be pretty famous. 13 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:14,640 So I know I'm famous. 14 00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:20,880 To tell you the truth, I know I'm famous. I'm kind of popular. 15 00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:23,920 But if you asked me to put a number to it? I'd have no idea. 16 00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:28,440 I don't know because there are no measurements for fame 17 00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:31,920 in the same way decibels measure sound. 18 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:33,720 I can't know how famous I am. 19 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:37,040 Celebrities, actors, and singers know when they step outside, 20 00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:39,760 and people ask them for photos and autographs. 21 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:42,800 They know they're famous, but they don't know how much. 22 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:46,240 I realized how famous I am 23 00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:49,440 when Vinij Lertratanachai 24 00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:52,200 called to invite me to play soccer. 25 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:54,120 You know him, right? 26 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:57,600 He organized Liverpool vs. Man United. Okay. 27 00:02:57,680 --> 00:02:59,640 This was the sixth time he'd called. 28 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:01,120 I said I couldn't go 29 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:06,160 because he was all the way in Bang Pa-In, and I was in Bang Kapi. 30 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:07,760 It's a long drive. 31 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:10,880 By the time I played and made it back, it would've been late. 32 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:13,320 I told him, "I'm busy." 33 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:16,080 "My knees hurt. I just had surgery." 34 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:18,600 "I haven't played since my time as a monk." 35 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,560 But he called again one night, for the sixth time. 36 00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:23,480 "Let's go play football." 37 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:26,160 As usual, I made an excuse. 38 00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:30,160 "I'm drawing right now. I don't have time." 39 00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:33,400 "Come. You won't regret it. Tomorrow at four." 40 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:38,080 "Who's playing? I don't want to go. I don't even have shoes." 41 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:39,800 "Jackson Wang." 42 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:45,600 "Playing with Jackson Wang? Are you serious?" 43 00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:50,000 "Yeah, he's in the country. He likes to play when he has time off." 44 00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:51,440 "He's really coming?" 45 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:55,040 At that point, I'd have gone to Betong. 46 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:58,480 It's Jackson Wang, damn it! 47 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:00,920 You guys would have to buy a ticket, 48 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,880 an expensive one, and go even farther away to see him. 49 00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:07,280 My niece Ratsamee is a die-hard fan. 50 00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:10,440 She's paid thousands to see him way out there like a little dot, 51 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:14,520 while I had the chance to play on the same team as him. 52 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:15,480 So I went. 53 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:18,320 Early the next morning, I went and bought shoes, 54 00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:22,360 and then he told me it was super VIP. 55 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:24,160 It's an exclusive group. 56 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:28,160 I felt special, you know? So I planned to drive myself. 57 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:29,880 But my niece Ratsamee 58 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:33,040 did her hair before dawn. 59 00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:37,920 She showed up all dressed up. "Oh, please, can I come with you. Please?" 60 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:39,440 "No, it's a private game." 61 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:42,240 "Please. I just wanna see Jackson Wang." 62 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:44,440 "When I saw him before, he was so far away." 63 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:47,120 I said, "I don't know how close you'll get." 64 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,680 "His bodyguards are tough." 65 00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:52,200 You've heard about them, right? 66 00:04:52,280 --> 00:04:55,640 "Please? I'll watch from outside the fence. Please." 67 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:57,480 So I had her drive. 68 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:00,560 When we got there, 69 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:02,880 the field was at RCA. 70 00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:07,600 There were tons of bodyguards, like the news had gotten out. 71 00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:11,560 Hundreds of fans were waiting outside the fence 72 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:13,400 to catch a glimpse of Jackson Wang. 73 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:15,320 I was thinking 74 00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:20,080 it would be cruel to leave her outside, 75 00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:22,880 so I said, "Ratsamee, I'll get you in." 76 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:25,200 It was supposed to just be me. 77 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:27,480 She asked, "How do we do it?" 78 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:30,520 "If they ask, say you're my masseuse." 79 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,360 "But I don't know how to give massages." 80 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:37,880 "Well, you're gonna need to." 81 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:41,360 "If you're lucky, Jackson might get a cramp, 82 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:43,440 and you can give him an inguinal massage." 83 00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:48,480 Suddenly, she was motivated to go in. 84 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:52,400 A guard asked who I was. "Ah, you're Nose. Who's that?" 85 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:54,080 "This is my masseuse." 86 00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:56,360 "Head over there to the VIP zone." 87 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:58,240 We parked in the VIP zone. 88 00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:03,360 I said, "Carry my stuff. My shoes too. That way you'll look like my masseuse." 89 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:07,400 We walked about 15 meters 90 00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:11,720 to this gym with glass walls, like this room. We went in. 91 00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:16,160 Jackson Wang was right there doing Muay Thai dance with Tony Jaa. 92 00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:20,320 Have you seen the TikTok clip? They're dancing, and he turns to me. 93 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:23,120 Then Tony Jaa takes me to show me around. 94 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:26,520 My niece was too close. She'd never imagined! 95 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:29,920 Normally, she'd be told, "Go over there. Get out." 96 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:31,960 "Back off. You're not VIP." 97 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:34,480 But now it was, "Come on. Come with us." 98 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:36,600 Jackson Wang was standing right there. 99 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:37,680 And she… 100 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:41,680 I told her, "Take a photo. Use your phone." 101 00:06:42,280 --> 00:06:43,280 "Uncle, 102 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:45,600 my hands are weak." 103 00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:48,960 I've never seen someone get weak hands. 104 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:50,640 "My hands are weak." 105 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:53,800 "They can't be weak now. This is your chance." 106 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:54,840 "He's…" 107 00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:57,760 "Oh, wow." 108 00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:00,560 "Go ahead. Get the picture." 109 00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:03,240 "I don't wanna bother him." 110 00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:04,960 "This is not the time." 111 00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:08,440 Finally, 112 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:14,080 he finished dancing with Tony Jaa, and we were taken to get changed. 113 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:18,040 I followed Jackson Wang into the locker room 114 00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:21,960 where there were these models and actors 115 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:23,960 of the new generation. 116 00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:29,920 From what I remember, Golf Pichaya was there. 117 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:32,120 And Kem Hussawee. 118 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:36,360 They were all at least 175 centimeters tall with fair skin. 119 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:39,720 And they were changing their shirts. There were so many. 120 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:42,760 Oat Pramote recognized me. "Nose, hi." 121 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:45,360 I greeted him and went to sit with them. 122 00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:48,560 There were benches and jerseys. Socks had been laid out. 123 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:51,320 I pulled out my shoes, then put on a black kit 124 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:54,920 because Jackson Wang was on the black team. So I put that on. 125 00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:59,960 Then Oat said to me, "You're on the other team." 126 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:03,840 "What? I'm not… I didn't realize." 127 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:05,160 "That's your team." 128 00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:09,440 Guess who was on the other team. Vinij Lertratanachai. 129 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:17,240 Vinij introduced me to another guy. "This is the Nepalese ambassador." 130 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:20,400 The Nepalese ambassador. Super old guy. 131 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:24,680 "And the one next to him is the nephew of the king of Bhutan." 132 00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:28,160 The nephew of King Jigme. I didn't know how to act. 133 00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:31,440 There's Jackson Wang. Here's King Jigme's nephew. 134 00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:35,560 Should I bow? What should I do when I pass him the ball? 135 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:40,280 "Your Highness, please take the free kick"? 136 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:45,120 I didn't know how to act. 137 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:47,800 And I didn't want to be on that team. 138 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:51,360 I'd come to play with Jackson Wang. 139 00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:55,520 I wanted to pass to him. You feel me? Brush up with him. Talk. 140 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:58,760 Be a team. Put our hands together before we compete. 141 00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:01,240 It would've been an honor. But damn it. 142 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:03,960 I was on the old guy team. 143 00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:06,000 And you know where? I was a striker. 144 00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:08,400 A striker's job is to score goals. 145 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:10,920 Jackson Wang was a striker for the black team. 146 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:13,800 We were so far apart. 147 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:18,160 The whole game, we only saw each other from afar. 148 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:21,840 I hadn't played in so long. 149 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:24,000 I got cramps after five minutes. 150 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:26,560 It was 4:00 p.m. and so hot. Damn. 151 00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:29,840 I was struggling, but the fans in the stadium, 152 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:31,600 excluding the ones outside… 153 00:09:31,680 --> 00:09:35,600 There were about 100 fans in the VIP zone. 154 00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:39,760 They came with the Thai actors, like the managers of the actors, 155 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:43,360 and the managers of the foreign team. 156 00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:45,600 About a hundred of them. 157 00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:49,520 They were next to the pitch, behind a row of bushes. 158 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:51,600 They couldn't cross the white line. 159 00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:54,000 They're on the outside with cameras and lenses. 160 00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:55,080 A herd of them. 161 00:09:56,960 --> 00:10:00,080 I played for five minutes, then asked to sub. 162 00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:05,360 I couldn't do it. I didn't care anymore because I couldn't see him. 163 00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:06,360 I wanted to leave. 164 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,720 But the old guy team didn't have any subs. 165 00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:12,600 I was just walking around. I couldn't focus on the game. 166 00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:14,160 I wanted an umbrella. 167 00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:16,320 What the fuck was I doing there? 168 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:18,800 The game wasn't broadcasted. 169 00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:21,560 If there were TV cameras, I'd have been like… 170 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:26,360 But no one saw. I looked terrible. 171 00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:29,560 In the end, I couldn't take it. I had to go out. I was so hot. 172 00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:32,480 There weren't trees by the pitch, so I had to… 173 00:10:32,560 --> 00:10:35,560 There was a gymnasium. I stood in its shade. 174 00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:38,840 That's when I realized how famous I was. 175 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:42,400 Fans were standing by the bushes to watch Jackson Wang, 176 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:47,120 and they turned to look at me standing about ten meters away. 177 00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:49,880 I walked from the pitch to the bushes. 178 00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:51,000 "Hey." 179 00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:52,400 "Hey, you. Hey." 180 00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:57,680 "That's Nose. It's Nose! Let's take a picture with him." 181 00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:00,960 Two or three of them came over. "Do you want a picture with him?" 182 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:02,720 Someone yelled, 183 00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:05,360 "Yeah, sure." 184 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:12,160 That's how famous I am. 185 00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:16,760 "Yeah, sure" level famous. 186 00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:17,920 Oh, man. 187 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,160 It was like a knife 188 00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:22,000 had been driven into my heart. 189 00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:24,080 I was already looking rough in football shorts 190 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:26,680 with my bowed legs and dark, splotchy skin. 191 00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:27,640 Then… 192 00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:31,000 "Yeah, sure," and they came and took photos. 193 00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:33,720 They took them to kill time. 194 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:37,200 When the game was over, they took us 195 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:41,720 back to the locker room to shower. 196 00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:47,040 I was one of the first to leave the pitch. Jackson Wang and his team were behind me. 197 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:49,040 They were all so good-looking. 198 00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:51,960 I wasn't brave enough to join them. 199 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:54,040 I walked ahead of them. 200 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:55,920 I remember this clearly. 201 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,800 Three people in dark-colored shirts 202 00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:00,280 came up to me. 203 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:01,920 "Nose?" 204 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:05,280 They were my age, like we had grown up together. 205 00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:07,560 Like they've been to my early shows. 206 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:09,640 "Could we please get a picture?" 207 00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:12,640 Oh, man. I was so happy someone wanted a photo. 208 00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:15,600 I told them, "Wait a second. I have to pee." 209 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:18,080 I couldn't hold it anymore. 210 00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:21,200 "I'm going to run to the restroom. I'll be right back." 211 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:24,320 So I went to take a leak. 212 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:26,360 I went in. 213 00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:30,520 Jackson Wang and his team were there. 214 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:32,720 They were changing. 215 00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:38,520 If I went out for photos, I'd miss Jackson Wang topless. 216 00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:40,400 If it were you in that room 217 00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:43,080 with a topless Jackson Wang, would you leave? 218 00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:45,640 I wanted to stay and see. 219 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:47,320 They were all changing. 220 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:51,760 They all had six packs, of course. But their auras. Their glow. 221 00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:56,360 I've seen people with fair skin, but glowing skin like this 222 00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:57,960 you don't see often. 223 00:12:58,040 --> 00:13:01,640 I feel like Jackson Wang must eat neon lights for dinner. 224 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:03,720 He just had something about him. 225 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:07,400 The players and the old guys were changing and showering. 226 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:11,440 I was loitering in front of Jackson Wang's stall, 227 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:14,440 just hoping to get a glimpse of him. 228 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:18,600 For real. So I would have a story to tell my grandkids. 229 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,520 Okay, let's say I did my business. 230 00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:25,920 I finished up and left, as promised, 231 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,680 because I'm a grown-up. I keep my word. 232 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:30,880 I went outside, 233 00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:35,680 and there were a hundred people waiting out front 234 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:38,480 for Jackson Wang to shower. 235 00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:39,560 I… 236 00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:41,440 came out. 237 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:44,920 The bodyguards came up to me. 238 00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:48,800 "Nose, who are you looking for?" 239 00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:56,960 "Yeah, about three people my age." 240 00:13:57,520 --> 00:14:02,240 "They wanted a picture, but I was in the restroom for a while." 241 00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:06,480 "You're looking for three people?" He whispered into his collar. 242 00:14:06,560 --> 00:14:10,120 Why do these bodyguards love talking into their collars? 243 00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:16,600 Some people were talking into their sleeves. 244 00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:19,480 "Don't worry. I'll find them." 245 00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:23,680 "Who wanted a photo with Nose?" 246 00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:30,520 And you know what? 247 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:31,920 It was silent. 248 00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:35,560 Completely. 249 00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:36,960 I pulled on his shirt. 250 00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:38,080 "Damn it." 251 00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:43,000 "Don't do this, shithead. It's…" 252 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:45,480 "I have nowhere to hide, fucker." 253 00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:47,720 When he realized I was embarrassed, 254 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:49,280 he doubled down hard. 255 00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:52,400 "Hey, everyone!" 256 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:53,600 Oh, shit. 257 00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:56,080 "Who wants a photo with Nose?" 258 00:14:57,280 --> 00:14:58,880 Silence. 259 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:02,280 It happened in front of everyone. It was so embarrassing. 260 00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:03,240 Silence. 261 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:06,440 And amid the silence, someone stepped out. 262 00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:10,120 "Whatever. Why not?" 263 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,440 Fuck. 264 00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:17,160 I'm "Yeah, sure" level, 265 00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:18,720 "Whatever" level famous. 266 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:21,160 That's how famous I am these days. 267 00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:27,520 I felt like I'd completely lost my confidence. 268 00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:29,240 Completely. 269 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:31,320 I got in my car to go home. 270 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:36,400 Usually, there's an after-party, but I didn't want to stay. 271 00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:38,000 We're different castes. 272 00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:40,160 I went in for just a second, 273 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:44,840 and the fair-skinned, good-looking guys were speaking a Western language. 274 00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:47,720 I felt like I didn't fit in. 275 00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:52,240 Really, if we had castes, they'd be the ruling caste, 276 00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:54,440 and I would be the untouchables. 277 00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:59,240 So I got in my car to go home. 278 00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:04,080 Ratsamee was driving and singing and whistling his songs. 279 00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:05,040 Bitch. 280 00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:07,360 I was so depressed. 281 00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:09,560 I had lost my confidence. 282 00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:12,520 I felt like… I honestly felt this. I was crushed. 283 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:13,680 I was outdated. 284 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:15,320 I'm an outdated person. 285 00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:17,320 I shouldn't have gone. Damn it. 286 00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:21,800 While I was still feeling hurt, 287 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:23,520 more things kept happening. 288 00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:25,440 When people ask to interview me 289 00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:30,440 for this or that page or for a university, 290 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:33,240 they love to ask, 291 00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:35,080 and it's usually the last question, 292 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:38,880 "Lastly, do you have anything you'd like to tell the new generation?" 293 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:43,560 Me? 294 00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:45,600 Someone like me? 295 00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:50,520 What could I say to the new generation? I'm outdated. 296 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:51,480 Who are they? 297 00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:54,760 They're the generations after me. They are new, right? 298 00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:55,760 I'm Gen X. 299 00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:57,880 After me, there's 300 00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:00,560 Y, Z, 301 00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:02,240 Alpha, right? 302 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:04,680 Before that, there's the baby boomers. 303 00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:08,160 Who's a baby boomer? That's Prayut. 304 00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:10,960 There's Prayut, Prawit, 305 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:13,280 and Bird Thongchai. 306 00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:15,360 In Gen X, 307 00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:17,200 there's 308 00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:18,840 Uncle Phol 309 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:20,880 and Shaman Pla. 310 00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:23,680 Just look. That's the state of my generation. 311 00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:30,200 In Gen Y, there's 312 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:31,840 Nont Tanont, 313 00:17:32,360 --> 00:17:33,760 Gun Napat, 314 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:35,600 and Bella. She's Y. 315 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:38,320 Bella is Y. 316 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:40,000 There's BOWKYLION too. 317 00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:41,440 Next, 318 00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:45,680 there's Gen Z with 4EVE, right? 319 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:46,640 4EVE. 320 00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:48,800 The Alphas are the celebrities' kids. 321 00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:51,920 Saifah's kid, Chompu's kid, and others. 322 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:55,480 So think, to the next generation, meaning those after me, 323 00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:57,400 what could I have to say? 324 00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:00,000 You know how Gen X grew up? 325 00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:03,280 Later generations like Y, 326 00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:04,720 let's simplify this, 327 00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:06,320 you grew up 328 00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:09,800 eating condensed milk from tubes. 329 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,600 You had it all your lives. It was in tubes. 330 00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:14,480 But Gen X didn't have that. 331 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:15,880 We didn't. 332 00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:18,000 My generation had condensed milk 333 00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:19,880 from tin cans only. 334 00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:21,640 Cans. 335 00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:23,880 And to drink milk from a can, 336 00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:27,560 you'd have to open it like you were a plumber. 337 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:30,840 It took so many tools to open that can. 338 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:34,640 Knife, cleaver, hammer, screwdriver. 339 00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:40,360 It was hard to do alone. 340 00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:44,560 Of course there were can openers then. 341 00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:47,120 They looked like Shiva's trident. 342 00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:49,640 But 95% of them were rusty. 343 00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:53,480 They were rickety and worn out. 344 00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:56,120 There were parts sticking out all over. 345 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:59,520 Don't know what the fuck they're for, but they're useless! 346 00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:03,240 You couldn't open anything, not even a can of fish. 347 00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:06,560 I'd have to steal my mom's cleaver and use the pointy end. 348 00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:11,480 And if she sees me, she'd scold me for ruining her cleaver. 349 00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:12,600 And I'd… 350 00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:14,000 And when I… 351 00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:17,280 It was so hard to do alone. You'd put it between your legs. 352 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,400 Just bang on. You'd be sweating. 353 00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:25,360 -If you made a hole, did milk come out? -No. 354 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:27,280 You had to do the other side too. 355 00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:29,360 Make another hole on that side. 356 00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:31,840 After that, 357 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:36,520 you'd go to pour some on some fried breadstick 358 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,520 and have it with Ovaltine, 359 00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:39,800 but does it come out? 360 00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:41,080 No! What to do? 361 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:42,880 Blow on it. 362 00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:44,920 Blow on it. 363 00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:50,720 If they had Covid then, we all would have died. 364 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:56,920 What's more, after you consumed it, 365 00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,440 no one could finish the can in one sitting. 366 00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:00,840 You had to store it. 367 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:01,840 But how? 368 00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:04,760 You had to put it on a plate filled with water. 369 00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:06,840 Plate with water. 370 00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:08,360 But then it gets damp. 371 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:10,960 Then it gets rusty. 372 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:14,240 The rim where the milk comes out 373 00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:18,000 would dry up and look like a herpes rash. 374 00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:20,360 Like it had herpes. 375 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:24,520 Then it wouldn't be so appetizing anymore. The label gets mushy. 376 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:27,560 So, yeah. That's how we lived. 377 00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:30,200 What could I teach the young people? 378 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:32,760 That's what I know. 379 00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:37,120 When I was a kid, how did I grow up? 380 00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:39,160 My mom wanted me to have bushy eyebrows. 381 00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:41,680 Butterfly pea flower. 382 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:45,840 We didn't take supplements. 383 00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:49,000 No vitamin E for hair growth. 384 00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:50,440 Butterfly pea flower. 385 00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:54,360 Gen X put butterfly pea flower on our eyebrows. 386 00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:56,000 Shin-chan's still looked better. 387 00:20:56,640 --> 00:21:00,200 We put it on with no form. 388 00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:02,480 Did it work? 389 00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:06,280 They studied it. It doesn't work. The flowers didn't affect it. 390 00:21:06,360 --> 00:21:11,600 If it did, would you need eyebrow tattoos? Why would people draw them on? 391 00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:15,280 Indians and Latinos don't need to use it, 392 00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:16,560 and theirs are thick. 393 00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:19,280 This is how I grew up. 394 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:23,960 We haven't even talked about a higher nose bridge. 395 00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:26,360 Back then, when Westerners started coming, 396 00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:28,360 moms wanted kids to have higher noses. 397 00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:29,840 So they pulled our noses. 398 00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:34,440 Everyone in the neighborhood did it. 399 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:37,320 But my mom didn't get all the information first. 400 00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:43,640 Normally, you need to pull from the bridge to the tip. 401 00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:46,400 But my mom started at the tip. 402 00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:53,040 That's how I ended up with this. Who can I sue for this? 403 00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:58,880 There was also a mumps myth. 404 00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:01,600 Yep, mumps. 405 00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:03,800 Instead of going to a doctor, 406 00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:06,880 I got traditional Chinese medicine. 407 00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:07,800 What did he do? 408 00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:09,480 He wrote "tiger." 409 00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:13,400 I had mumps, and he wrote "tiger" 410 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:15,480 in purple. 411 00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:16,760 He wrote "tiger." 412 00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:18,920 I really wanted to know why. 413 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:22,160 So I asked one. I asked the originator. 414 00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:27,120 He said the Chinese believe when we have mumps, we're like pigs. 415 00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:29,720 It's called a pig's chin. It's like a pig's. 416 00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:31,720 You write "tiger" 417 00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:34,160 to scare the pig. 418 00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:37,120 Have you ever heard of this? 419 00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:38,880 Shit. 420 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,560 And when we had mouth ulcers as kids, 421 00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:44,080 we'd be taken to these places for a mouth swab. 422 00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:47,160 When we'd have mouth issues, we'd get a mouth swab. 423 00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:49,520 They'd rub this purple medicine in there. 424 00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:52,800 It didn't stay in your mouth. 425 00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:57,080 It was purple liquid without anything sticky in it. 426 00:22:57,880 --> 00:23:00,280 They'd swab it, and right after you'd see… 427 00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:04,920 only drool. No medicine in there whatsoever. 428 00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,440 That "tiger" treatment really irritated me. 429 00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:13,920 If writing "tiger" could make it smaller, you'd be writing it 430 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,400 on your calves. Right? 431 00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:18,640 You wouldn't need liposuction. 432 00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:23,640 Guys who feel manhood-challenged, 433 00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:25,120 just write "horse." 434 00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:27,520 It might puff up. 435 00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:28,880 Want it bigger? Anaconda. 436 00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:36,240 That's how I grew up. 437 00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:40,480 Gen X grew up 438 00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:43,800 with just two kinds of coffee. 439 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:46,280 O-liang. 440 00:23:46,360 --> 00:23:47,280 O-yua. 441 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:49,160 "O" means "black." 442 00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:51,040 "Liang" is "cold." 443 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:53,360 O… "black cold" 444 00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:54,800 O-yua is "black hot." 445 00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:57,600 Adding milk was special. It's called yoklor. 446 00:23:57,680 --> 00:23:58,720 That was all. 447 00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:01,640 But nowadays, Gen X like me, 448 00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:04,600 we stand at the counter at Starbucks 449 00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:06,640 like we're uneducated. 450 00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:16,000 Everything is in English. 451 00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:18,360 Okay, espresso, 452 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:20,600 cappuccino, 453 00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:22,080 mocha, 454 00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:24,280 latte, 455 00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:26,680 caramel macchiato. 456 00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:29,120 There's this… Frapp… 457 00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:30,920 Frappuccino. 458 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:34,760 And what else? You have to know which beans you want. 459 00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:36,920 What? I have to know what they are? 460 00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:41,120 There are dark, medium, or light roasts. 461 00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:44,160 There are beans from… Ethiopia. 462 00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:46,760 From all these countries. I need to know this? 463 00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:49,960 Why does Ethiopia grow coffee? I heard they were really poor. 464 00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:53,040 Why? I thought they had nothing to eat. 465 00:24:53,120 --> 00:24:55,520 I have no clue about any of this. 466 00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:57,080 Shit. And, like… 467 00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:00,000 And then the cups. 468 00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:02,760 The cups? It's not small, medium, and large? 469 00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:04,920 It's Ariana Grande and whatnot. 470 00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:07,760 What is this? 471 00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:10,240 Venti schmenti. 472 00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:14,920 There's tall too. Shit! Too much. 473 00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:17,720 I like the beans they call "fruity." 474 00:25:18,360 --> 00:25:21,480 They ask, "Do you want fruity?" 475 00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:23,160 It reminds me of the old bands, 476 00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:25,280 Fruity and Kiriboon. 477 00:25:25,360 --> 00:25:26,760 I'm so outdated. 478 00:25:27,360 --> 00:25:29,480 I felt pressured. "Nose Udom is ordering." 479 00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:31,840 I can't look dumb for the people behind me. 480 00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:35,240 "I've had a lot of coffee already, so I'll take an apple juice." 481 00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:48,720 That's how my generation grew up. What could I teach these kids? 482 00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:53,200 The things Gen X or older know, 483 00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:59,520 I feel like they don't matter to young people. 484 00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:04,200 It's like, you gain all this wisdom to pass on to later generations, 485 00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:07,960 but how do you know that it won't be like… 486 00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:10,360 Lomotil. 487 00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:15,240 Lomotil. If you know it, it means we're the same age. 488 00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:21,480 Lomotil was diarrhea medication for Gen X and baby boomers. 489 00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:23,400 If you weren't well… 490 00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:28,120 Whenever you had diarrhea, the first name you'd think of was Lomotil. 491 00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:31,960 Or for that time of the month, the pad was called a Kotex. 492 00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:34,080 Even if we didn't use that brand. 493 00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:36,960 Instant noodles were what? 494 00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:40,560 We call them Mama noodles even when they might be Yum Yum. 495 00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:44,920 Lomotil too. All diarrhea meds were Lomotil. 496 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:49,760 But Lomotil was eventually banned. 497 00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:51,840 It's a medicine that… 498 00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:53,040 They call it… 499 00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:55,360 It… 500 00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:58,320 decreases bowel movements. 501 00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:01,560 It stops pooping, but the bacteria is still in there. 502 00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:08,560 What you really need to do is release it. 503 00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:12,360 Just taking electrolytes is enough. 504 00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:13,800 But then you took Lomotil. 505 00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:17,120 Imagine you're around then, and you've got all this Lomotil. 506 00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:19,400 Enough to sell like PIMRYPIE. 507 00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:22,320 And then you give it to younger generations. 508 00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:24,640 That's what it is. 509 00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:28,880 What they'd get would be expired. They couldn't use it anyway. 510 00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:31,800 That's why I'm not trying to tell them anything. 511 00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:34,600 They've got more going for them than I do in every way. 512 00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:38,400 Information and knowledge. You don't need a master to teach you. 513 00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:41,440 You don't need to beg anyone to teach you any secrets. 514 00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:46,440 Everything is on the internet. I'm not trying to tell them anything. 515 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:49,240 Older generations, all you need to do 516 00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:52,640 is behave so they still respect you. 517 00:28:04,120 --> 00:28:06,840 The things you tried to stop them from doing, 518 00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:10,480 they can do it and prosper. 519 00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:12,640 "Don't be an entertainer." 520 00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:14,080 Look at Lisa. 521 00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:16,680 Look at BamBam. 522 00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:18,480 They can make it at those things. 523 00:28:20,360 --> 00:28:22,520 "Don't wear makeup. You're too young for it." 524 00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:25,480 Look at Nesty, 525 00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:28,320 the teenage trans woman. 526 00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:31,840 She bought her mom a house before she was 15. 527 00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:35,520 And Eclaire Juepak from the Khlong Toei slum. 528 00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:39,200 She bought a 30-million-baht house next to Opal. 529 00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:42,680 Look? How are they not thriving? 530 00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:44,800 I was told not to do art. 531 00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:48,000 "If you do cartoons, what will you grow up to be?" 532 00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:50,480 They told me I'd be a starving artist. 533 00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:53,240 Do you know Crybaby? 534 00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:54,680 The cartoonist? 535 00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:57,720 The first two days of her exhibition made over a hundred million. 536 00:28:57,800 --> 00:28:59,160 Over a hundred million. 537 00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:01,560 The old artists, even the big ones, 538 00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:04,000 never made that much in their whole lives. 539 00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:07,360 So don't think that you have anything to teach young people. 540 00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:08,800 Just be quiet. 541 00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:12,160 Especially all the old people working in parliament. 542 00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:18,440 Don't cheer. I won't go into it. 543 00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:22,920 Whenever I'm in trouble, I never see any of you. 544 00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:26,800 If I say anything more, Srisuwan is gonna file a complaint. 545 00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:29,840 That bastard has too much free time. 546 00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:39,360 Don't clap. It's useless. I don't care. 547 00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:52,520 What I'd like to share with the younger generations isn't really knowledge. 548 00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:54,600 It's a mistake I made. 549 00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:56,880 Older people 550 00:29:58,080 --> 00:30:00,920 have the advantage of having made more mistakes. 551 00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:03,880 There's been more opportunity for it. 552 00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:06,360 So we can take those mistakes 553 00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:09,200 and learn from them to make fewer mistakes. 554 00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:12,760 Those who say they're experienced are those who have made mistakes. 555 00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:14,000 It's true. 556 00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:19,720 So what I would tell young people is an example of a mistake I've made. 557 00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:22,160 I once messed something up 558 00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:26,000 badly enough to get me almost killed. 559 00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:27,960 I was 20-something at the time. 560 00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:32,760 I acted like a typical vocational school kid. 561 00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:33,840 Like 4 Kings. 562 00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:36,400 Because I was in vocational school. 563 00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:39,320 I wore shop clothes from school. 564 00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:42,960 I wore sunglasses and all that kind of stuff. 565 00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:45,880 I didn't know why I did it then. 566 00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:48,840 I mimicked the way the older guys walked. 567 00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:53,640 We moved in a pack with our shoulders up like we were cold. 568 00:30:53,720 --> 00:30:55,880 Or like our hips were dislocated. 569 00:30:55,960 --> 00:30:56,880 We walked like… 570 00:30:58,280 --> 00:31:02,600 I don't know. It was like there was gravel in our shoes. 571 00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:07,560 We'd go out like that, like we were disabled. 572 00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:09,360 We had no idea why we did it. 573 00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:12,320 We'd walk around with the attitude 574 00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:16,200 that anyone who looked at us wanted a fight. 575 00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:17,520 They were asking for it. 576 00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:19,560 But really, 577 00:31:19,640 --> 00:31:23,240 if you want to get to know someone, you look at them. 578 00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:24,200 You know? 579 00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:27,320 You can't just stare at their boobs and say nothing. 580 00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:28,720 That won't work. 581 00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:30,440 You can't look at their knees. 582 00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:33,120 I don't know where we got it from. 583 00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:35,520 We'd move in a group, wearing our shop clothes. 584 00:31:36,040 --> 00:31:38,640 I was a troubled kid. I was influenced by my friends. 585 00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:41,680 If we ran into high school kids, we'd beat them up, pick on them. 586 00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:43,760 We'd take the belts from their uniforms. 587 00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:45,840 Did they even fit? 588 00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:47,840 Nope. They had different sizes. 589 00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:51,000 We'd beat vocational kids and take their uniforms. 590 00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:52,400 Could we wear them? Nope. 591 00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:54,320 We'd take buckles, this and that. 592 00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:58,560 Just doing what our friends were doing. And we'd say it's for our school. 593 00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:02,760 It's for the honor of our school that we love so much. 594 00:32:02,840 --> 00:32:04,360 We haven't been back since. 595 00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:08,400 I haven't worn my shop clothes. There was no real bond. 596 00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:10,120 I just followed the crowd. 597 00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:13,400 In the 4 Kings days, there was a time when 598 00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:17,240 we all read the book Mad Dogs & Co. 599 00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:22,160 If you weren't born then, it's a story about an adventurous life. 600 00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:23,400 We went to the beach. 601 00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:26,840 I went with my best buddies, Ueng and Peera. 602 00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:30,720 Those two had the idea. I just followed. There was also Wilai. 603 00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:34,280 So four in total. We went to Samet. 604 00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:36,920 This is Samet from 30 years ago. 605 00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:41,280 There were no resorts. We stayed on Sai Kaew beach. 606 00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:45,480 In a bungalow made from natural materials. 607 00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:48,360 There were coconut trees. 608 00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:51,040 Stuff was made from coconuts and wood. 609 00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:52,520 It was all stuff from nature. 610 00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:54,400 And right on the beach. 611 00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:57,440 We stayed there two nights. The first night was okay. 612 00:32:57,520 --> 00:33:00,360 The second night, we were drinking at a bar on the beach. 613 00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:04,120 It was a late-night establishment with reggae and such. 614 00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:05,720 We were drinking beer. 615 00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:10,640 There was our table and then another next to us with eight people. 616 00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:13,840 One of the guys asks me, "Hey, Dom, you want a beer?" 617 00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:16,480 "Nah." "You're not phat, man." 618 00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:18,920 "Phat" was a cool word back then. 619 00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:20,400 "You're not phat." 620 00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:21,720 "I'm not phat?" 621 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:24,840 "I am a phat kid, and virtuous too." 622 00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:26,400 The whole place heard me. 623 00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:28,600 The table next to us 624 00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:31,200 got up, all eight of them, 625 00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:35,080 "Oh, virtuous phat kid." 626 00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:38,800 They were mocking me, I knew it. 627 00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:41,560 Insulting me. 628 00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:44,880 I don't know what was going through my head. 629 00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:46,560 I stood up, 630 00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:51,840 took the bottle my friend was still drinking from, 631 00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:54,080 and smashed it on a rock beside me. 632 00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:56,560 There are rocks on the beach. I smashed it 633 00:33:56,640 --> 00:33:58,720 to make an edge with it, like a shark tooth. 634 00:33:58,800 --> 00:34:01,680 I'm not sure why I was trying to fight though. 635 00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:02,920 What was the point? 636 00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:06,640 All I knew was I just wanted to show off to my friends. 637 00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:08,960 I wasn't myself. I smashed it. 638 00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:13,240 To anyone who wants to be a bad boy, 639 00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:17,200 you have to practice smashing bottles first 640 00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:19,120 to make them sharp. 641 00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:23,520 This was my first time. 642 00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:25,880 I hit it and bang! 643 00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:29,080 All that was left was the neck. 644 00:34:29,720 --> 00:34:31,040 It was a bit pointed, 645 00:34:31,760 --> 00:34:34,640 but more of a tuna tooth than a shark tooth. 646 00:34:34,720 --> 00:34:37,280 I couldn't have stabbed anyone, just scratched them. 647 00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:40,680 I was screwed as soon as I smashed it. 648 00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:43,520 The other group all stood up. 649 00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:47,120 Tensions were high. Everyone was grunting. 650 00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:49,960 I was terrified, but what's done is done. 651 00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:52,760 My friends hadn't been paying attention. 652 00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:55,600 Finally, though, they stood up too. 653 00:34:56,960 --> 00:35:00,280 And the bar owner came over. "No fighting! That's enough." 654 00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:02,240 "Leave! Go to bed." 655 00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:04,440 They got up and walked out. 656 00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:05,440 For us, 657 00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:08,840 the mood was ruined, so we paid our tab. 658 00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:11,000 I said, "I need to use the bathroom first." 659 00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:12,200 But I didn't. 660 00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:17,200 It was dark. The eight were walking through the trees. 661 00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:20,760 I didn't go to the bathroom. I followed them. 662 00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:22,920 I followed them in fear 663 00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:25,720 of where they were going. 664 00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:28,440 Where they'd go. 665 00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:30,400 I walked around the trees, like this, 666 00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:32,720 and past the restrooms, 667 00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:34,680 about 20 meters past the bar. 668 00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:36,200 Shit. 669 00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:38,280 They brought the whole block. 670 00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:42,120 The eight of them were just part of a bigger group. 671 00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:45,200 They had a campfire and were playing music. 672 00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:49,120 It looked like a spring break trip. 673 00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:51,320 Like a reunion or a farewell trip or something. 674 00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:53,680 They were doing like us, but with more people. 675 00:35:53,760 --> 00:35:57,160 The eight walked back to their group. 676 00:35:57,240 --> 00:36:00,040 I was sure they were going to tell their friends, 677 00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:03,360 so I told my group, "I'm tired. Let's go back." 678 00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:05,560 They didn't know what I had seen. 679 00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:10,160 Back at ours, I said, "Tomorrow, let's get out of here early." 680 00:36:10,240 --> 00:36:13,240 "Which ferry?" "The first one at seven." 681 00:36:14,160 --> 00:36:15,480 "Let's stay longer." 682 00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:20,520 "Nah, let's go. My mom probably misses me." 683 00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:24,720 I was trying to find reasons to go early. They still had no clue we were in danger. 684 00:36:25,240 --> 00:36:26,720 We got up early that morning. 685 00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:29,240 I packed my bags. 686 00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:30,880 They went out to gather shells. 687 00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:34,040 Kids those days gathered shells 688 00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:36,520 to put in glass jars. 689 00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:39,640 You'd put sand in it with a message as a souvenir. 690 00:36:39,720 --> 00:36:42,120 They were out. I didn't know what to do. 691 00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:43,560 There was a shoe 692 00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:48,040 that had been washed ashore and buried in the sand. 693 00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:50,040 I took it and cleaned it off. 694 00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:53,560 I drew something while I waited for them and for the ferry. 695 00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:55,440 While I was drawing, 696 00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:03,360 I could see that halfway down the beach, 697 00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:05,560 about 80 meters, 698 00:37:06,240 --> 00:37:07,200 there was 699 00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:09,800 a group walking closer. 700 00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:11,560 When they were 50 meters away, 701 00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:13,680 it was like the movie Armageddon. 702 00:37:15,720 --> 00:37:19,480 There were 40 of them covering the whole beach. 703 00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:21,960 They were all carrying something. 704 00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:23,240 As they got closer, 705 00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:25,880 I could hear, "Fucker." "Asshole." "Motherfucker." 706 00:37:25,960 --> 00:37:27,480 "Don't let me find that punk." 707 00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:32,680 I just heard bits and pieces, but then it got clearer 708 00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:34,480 until they were 20 meters away. 709 00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:39,080 "They must be the guys I got in trouble with last night." 710 00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:40,920 "They're here. Shit." 711 00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:42,600 At 15 meters, I said, 712 00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:45,440 "Peera, Ueng, Wilai, look!" 713 00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:49,560 "It's the guys from last night." 714 00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:53,360 "Dom, stay here. Don't worry." 715 00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:56,720 "Wilai, Peera, come here." 716 00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:58,680 "Go grab sticks." 717 00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:02,600 They went up to find sticks in the mound of rocks. 718 00:38:02,680 --> 00:38:04,600 "I'm gonna go find sticks. Stay here." 719 00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:07,040 But I wasn't looking at my friends. 720 00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:10,680 I was looking at those guys getting closer. Ten meters now. 721 00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:12,920 Until they were just five meters away. 722 00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:16,840 There were more than 40 of them surrounding me like this. 723 00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:20,440 They surrounded me. All of them had something in their hands. 724 00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:25,120 It really was like 4 Kings. Can you imagine? 725 00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:27,880 Brutes. Walking around with their shoulders raised. 726 00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:29,880 There was the instigator. 727 00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:31,680 He had Jazz Chuanchuen's mannerism. 728 00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:33,800 He walked up. 729 00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:35,480 "Fuck." 730 00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:37,160 "This fucking guy." 731 00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:38,960 "Motherfucker!" 732 00:38:40,720 --> 00:38:42,280 "Who is this punk?" 733 00:38:44,720 --> 00:38:46,080 What could I do? 734 00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:47,520 I just froze. 735 00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:49,600 It's not like I could fight them. 736 00:38:49,680 --> 00:38:51,600 One against forty. What do I have? 737 00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:54,760 I had that shoe from the beach. 738 00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:58,680 Should I have offered to fan them? 739 00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:02,200 Wow. He circled me. 740 00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:04,880 "Hey, asshole." 741 00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:08,160 The others were poking me with sticks like I was a turd. 742 00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:10,040 Poking me. 743 00:39:10,120 --> 00:39:12,920 "You think you're hot shit, punk? 744 00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:14,640 What are you gonna do?" 745 00:39:14,720 --> 00:39:17,240 They were moving like they'd hit me but hadn't yet. 746 00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:18,680 They still hadn't actually. 747 00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:22,080 They were swearing at me. 748 00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:24,760 It was like a frat hazing. 749 00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:29,640 They were cussing at me and flipping me off. 750 00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:32,560 Here we say "flipping a bick." 751 00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:35,160 That day I got four boatloads of bicks. 752 00:39:36,080 --> 00:39:38,200 More than I'd need in four lifetimes. 753 00:39:38,800 --> 00:39:43,720 So many bicks. I have more bicks than anyone in Asia and the Arctic. 754 00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:45,880 Tons of bicks. Drowning in bicks. 755 00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:48,160 "Asshole." 756 00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:50,240 "Little bitch. Scumbag." 757 00:39:51,640 --> 00:39:54,240 I got it all. 758 00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:57,840 They were still throwing their hands in my face. 759 00:39:57,920 --> 00:39:59,880 I was scared. I didn't know what to do. 760 00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:03,640 So I wet myself. 761 00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:09,160 I was so freaked out, I peed my pants. 762 00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:12,360 I thought they wouldn't see because the waves were hitting me. 763 00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:14,240 I'd just act smooth. 764 00:40:15,720 --> 00:40:17,280 But their leader saw. 765 00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:19,200 He was a tough-looking guy. 766 00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:21,880 "Oh shit, enough. He's pissed himself!" 767 00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:24,880 "If I see you in Bangkok, asshole, 768 00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:27,160 I'll beat the shit out of you." 769 00:40:27,920 --> 00:40:29,080 "You looking at me?" 770 00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:32,600 I wasn't supposed to, I guess, but I couldn't avoid it. 771 00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:34,160 What was I gonna do? 772 00:40:34,240 --> 00:40:36,040 They cussed at me some more, 773 00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:40,120 threw what they had been carrying, sticks and bottles, and walked off. 774 00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:43,280 Once they had gone, 775 00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:48,280 I collapsed onto the sand like I had been raped. 776 00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:52,560 It was the worst experience of my life. 777 00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:57,280 I can't describe it with words as to how I should feel. 778 00:40:57,360 --> 00:41:00,560 Not many people will go through something like that. 779 00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:04,000 I collapsed there on the beach. Forgot everything else. 780 00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:05,600 Forgot about my friends. 781 00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:09,160 I got my bag. The ferry was in the middle of the beach. 782 00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:10,640 I walked over. 783 00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:14,080 I was the first person on. 784 00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:17,080 I waited for it to leave. I didn't really care when. 785 00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:21,520 If anyone ever gets this ferry at the Ban Phe pier, 786 00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:24,960 the back of it is very hot. 787 00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:27,840 There's a lot of exhaust. 788 00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:29,360 I didn't sit in the back. 789 00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:30,400 I sat in the middle 790 00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:32,560 to get out of the sun. 791 00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:36,800 In this horror story, there's still a silver lining. 792 00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:41,360 It was time for the ferry to leave. The crew was boarding. 793 00:41:43,160 --> 00:41:44,520 Those 40 guys 794 00:41:45,600 --> 00:41:47,080 also got on. 795 00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:51,360 Shit. 796 00:41:52,360 --> 00:41:53,840 Could this get any worse? 797 00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:59,080 They got on and chased me off like a dog. 798 00:41:59,160 --> 00:42:03,760 "You again. Get to the back of the boat. Move, or I'll stomp your face!" 799 00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:05,720 They ran me off back by the exhaust. 800 00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:09,400 I had to sit in the sun 801 00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:12,760 for almost an hour. There were no express boats in those days. 802 00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:16,080 They started playing music again. 803 00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:17,840 Singing and dancing. 804 00:42:17,920 --> 00:42:21,480 They flipped me some more bicks when they had the time. 805 00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:25,520 I was so full from bicks, I wouldn't need any more for many lives to come. 806 00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:29,080 Jeez. When we got to the Ban Phe pier, 807 00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:30,920 I hurried off. 808 00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:33,800 I scrambled along the pier. Jumped off. 809 00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:37,960 I had to catch the Klaeng-Rayong-Bangkok bus. 810 00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:39,200 It was red. 811 00:42:39,280 --> 00:42:41,040 I hurried onto it. 812 00:42:42,400 --> 00:42:45,160 The hellish experience was over. 813 00:42:45,240 --> 00:42:47,720 Finally! Shit! 814 00:42:49,760 --> 00:42:51,000 Every misfortune 815 00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:53,520 has a silver lining. 816 00:42:54,280 --> 00:42:55,720 They were on that bus. 817 00:42:56,560 --> 00:42:57,920 It was full of them. 818 00:42:58,000 --> 00:42:59,800 Packed. 819 00:42:59,880 --> 00:43:02,280 Again they chased me off. 820 00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:05,320 The 40 of them filled the whole bus. 821 00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:09,160 Just like before, they cussed and jeered at me 822 00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:13,040 until we got to Bangkok. I squeezed off the bus 823 00:43:13,120 --> 00:43:16,120 while they cussed at me some more. 824 00:43:17,760 --> 00:43:20,600 And at that moment that I stepped off, 825 00:43:21,440 --> 00:43:24,560 I stopped being a thug completely. 826 00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:27,560 I started walking normally again, 827 00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:30,440 with my feet and shoulders like normal. 828 00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:32,680 It was over. I went back to normal. 829 00:43:32,760 --> 00:43:34,720 I never get into any altercations now. 830 00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:39,320 I never think about hitting anyone. It's done. It's over. 831 00:43:40,120 --> 00:43:44,040 When I got off, they were still yelling at me 832 00:43:44,120 --> 00:43:45,600 and flipping me bicks. 833 00:43:45,680 --> 00:43:48,600 I was over it. After that, I was just a normal guy. 834 00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:52,560 I'm telling you this 835 00:43:55,120 --> 00:43:56,440 as a lesson. 836 00:43:56,520 --> 00:43:58,520 I guess I liked to run my mouth. 837 00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:00,520 Why? I don't know. 838 00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:04,480 Now, if I could see those guys, 839 00:44:05,280 --> 00:44:06,320 the 40 of them, 840 00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:08,840 I would tell them, 841 00:44:08,920 --> 00:44:11,920 "I want to thank you 842 00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:15,400 for… sparing my life." Let's be honest. 843 00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:19,280 Otherwise, I wouldn't be here. Thanks for sparing me. 844 00:44:19,360 --> 00:44:24,800 I ran my mouth off without knowing why. I smashed a bottle without knowing why. 845 00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:27,240 It wasn't me then. I was following the crowd. 846 00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:29,800 I wanted to be in the group. 847 00:44:29,880 --> 00:44:32,440 Honor meant nothing to me. 848 00:44:32,520 --> 00:44:34,320 It was all in my head. 849 00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:38,760 I'm sorry to everyone I hurt. 850 00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:39,960 I want to say that. 851 00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:44,520 I'm not like that anymore. I don't want to be like that anymore. 852 00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:46,160 That message was for them. 853 00:44:47,080 --> 00:44:50,520 As for my three friends, who, from that day, 854 00:44:51,600 --> 00:44:52,880 I haven't seen since… 855 00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:55,000 I haven't seen them in… 856 00:44:55,080 --> 00:44:55,960 I… 857 00:44:56,480 --> 00:44:57,520 My mind went blank. 858 00:44:57,600 --> 00:44:59,360 I don't know how they got back. 859 00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:01,720 We stopped talking. It's been over 30 years. 860 00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:03,520 If I saw them, 861 00:45:04,040 --> 00:45:06,160 it would be like, 862 00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:08,520 um… 863 00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:11,880 I just want 864 00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:14,240 to say one thing. 865 00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:19,160 Wilai, Peera, Ueng. 866 00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:20,840 All of you. 867 00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:23,800 You found those sticks yet, assholes? 868 00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:35,960 What kind of sticks were you looking for? Rosewood? 869 00:45:37,080 --> 00:45:39,520 Were you waiting for a permit to cut down the tree? 870 00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:42,000 Fuck you, scumbags! 871 00:45:45,880 --> 00:45:47,560 No matter where I see them, 872 00:45:47,640 --> 00:45:51,640 it could be Paragon or Chatuchak Park, 873 00:45:52,800 --> 00:45:54,280 I remember him. 874 00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:56,080 "You found those damn sticks yet?" 875 00:45:57,160 --> 00:45:59,840 With no provocation. I've held on to this a long time. 876 00:46:06,240 --> 00:46:07,120 Does it hurt? 877 00:46:09,240 --> 00:46:12,720 I like girls who, when they laugh, they massage their cheeks. So cute. 878 00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:18,040 Do you want me to write "tiger"? 879 00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:31,720 Gen X'ers who are near retirement age like me. 880 00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:33,560 Once you get to this age, 881 00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:35,400 you'll get this feeling. 882 00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:37,920 And I think this happens to everyone 883 00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:39,760 in this generation. 884 00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:42,600 You crave nature. 885 00:46:43,240 --> 00:46:45,600 You want to go back to nature, 886 00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:47,800 wake up to nature, 887 00:46:47,880 --> 00:46:51,160 grow your own vegetables, raise chickens and pigs, 888 00:46:51,240 --> 00:46:52,520 this and that. 889 00:46:52,600 --> 00:46:56,720 You see Nam Rapeepat raising pigs and buffaloes, 890 00:46:56,800 --> 00:46:59,200 living with nature, and you want to do the same. 891 00:47:00,440 --> 00:47:01,280 Me too. 892 00:47:02,840 --> 00:47:04,720 I want to do it so badly. 893 00:47:04,800 --> 00:47:06,240 I want to be in nature. 894 00:47:06,320 --> 00:47:10,360 I was in Chiang Mai for a while, 895 00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:12,440 but nowadays, it's overrun with tourists. 896 00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:15,040 I bought a house in Nimman. 897 00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:18,520 I can't even get my car out of the house. 898 00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:21,200 So that's not enough nature. 899 00:47:21,280 --> 00:47:22,520 That wasn't it. 900 00:47:22,600 --> 00:47:25,640 So I went looking for somewhere with more nature. 901 00:47:25,720 --> 00:47:29,560 At the time, I had the opportunity to vacation in Kanchanaburi. 902 00:47:29,640 --> 00:47:30,760 Sai Yok Noi. 903 00:47:31,320 --> 00:47:32,440 I slept on a raft 904 00:47:33,800 --> 00:47:35,200 in Sai Yok Noi. 905 00:47:35,720 --> 00:47:38,120 On the first day, I was so happy. 906 00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:41,040 I woke up to fog over the water. 907 00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:44,480 At night, the sound of the water under the raft… 908 00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:47,920 Damn. Now this is the life. 909 00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:49,560 This is real greenery. 910 00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:52,400 If you go during rainy season, 911 00:47:52,480 --> 00:47:56,960 you'll hear soft rain running down the roof. 912 00:47:57,040 --> 00:48:01,520 That's what people my age want. We want to be in places like that. 913 00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:04,920 I was there three days but wasn't sure about it, so I went back to work. 914 00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:10,000 Went back for another three days. I decided to move to Sai Yok Noi. 915 00:48:10,080 --> 00:48:15,240 I didn't need much information. All I needed was running water and a raft. 916 00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:17,840 I needed to make a raft first. 917 00:48:18,520 --> 00:48:20,720 I didn't know how to though. 918 00:48:20,800 --> 00:48:23,960 Just went for it. I knew diddly-squat. 919 00:48:24,040 --> 00:48:26,080 Where was there land for sale? 920 00:48:26,160 --> 00:48:28,600 I walked all around to look for some. 921 00:48:29,160 --> 00:48:35,280 And you know what? I met a local on a motorbike named Kaek. 922 00:48:36,440 --> 00:48:37,960 He drove past me, 923 00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:40,680 and he did a double take like he recognized me. 924 00:48:43,960 --> 00:48:45,840 "Are you Nose?" 925 00:48:47,480 --> 00:48:49,240 He must have thought it was strange 926 00:48:49,320 --> 00:48:51,640 that I was walking on the path in the woods. 927 00:48:51,720 --> 00:48:54,560 I, who was walking, was like, "Yep, that's me." 928 00:48:54,640 --> 00:48:55,920 "What are you doing?" 929 00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:59,080 "I'm looking for property." 930 00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:01,200 "What are you gonna find like this?" 931 00:49:01,280 --> 00:49:05,920 "What you should do is go ask the head of the village." 932 00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:07,960 "But I know a place. What is it for?" 933 00:49:08,040 --> 00:49:09,520 I told him I wanted a raft. 934 00:49:09,600 --> 00:49:14,000 I wanted to build a raft, and then I would dock it on someone's land. 935 00:49:14,760 --> 00:49:16,600 "Who's going to let you do that?" 936 00:49:18,360 --> 00:49:20,680 "If you dock it to a tree, and it rains, 937 00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:23,200 and it winds up in another province, what will they do?" 938 00:49:23,280 --> 00:49:27,320 "You need land first. It's about land." 939 00:49:27,400 --> 00:49:30,240 "Then I want land close to my resort." 940 00:49:30,320 --> 00:49:33,640 "Along here it's really expensive. It's next to the road." 941 00:49:33,720 --> 00:49:38,000 "If you want cheaper land, you need to go over to the other side." 942 00:49:38,760 --> 00:49:42,440 To get over there I had to drive over a bridge. 943 00:49:42,520 --> 00:49:44,280 It was almost ten kilometers. 944 00:49:44,360 --> 00:49:46,240 But I was determined. 945 00:49:46,320 --> 00:49:48,520 I had no knowledge, just pure desire. 946 00:49:49,720 --> 00:49:52,480 I got a piece of land, not even a rai, 947 00:49:52,560 --> 00:49:54,640 where I could tie a raft. 948 00:49:54,720 --> 00:49:58,240 Kaek called the raft builder for me. 949 00:49:58,320 --> 00:50:01,640 I went to Kanchanaburi a lot until the raft was finished. 950 00:50:02,960 --> 00:50:07,080 I could go be close to true nature now. 951 00:50:07,160 --> 00:50:09,960 My land had no neighbors. 952 00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:11,800 There were two entrances. 953 00:50:11,880 --> 00:50:15,240 One way was to come in through the Wang Krachae temple. 954 00:50:15,320 --> 00:50:18,600 You had to go into the temple, past the crematorium, 955 00:50:18,680 --> 00:50:22,360 pavilion, and all those things for a kilometer to get to my land. 956 00:50:22,440 --> 00:50:24,680 Or go through the Khao Phang Charoenphol temple, 957 00:50:24,760 --> 00:50:29,440 through the gate, past the crematorium, past the 30 dogs, the monks' house, 958 00:50:30,320 --> 00:50:33,520 where they cremate bodies, for a kilometer. 959 00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:35,760 I was between them. No other way in. 960 00:50:35,840 --> 00:50:38,360 None, other than by floating down the river. 961 00:50:39,080 --> 00:50:39,960 No other way. 962 00:50:40,040 --> 00:50:43,680 I love nature. I wanted to be alone out there. 963 00:50:43,760 --> 00:50:46,760 I thought it would be a cool way to live. 964 00:50:46,840 --> 00:50:49,600 To be alone. I could read and write a book. 965 00:50:49,680 --> 00:50:51,760 Just be in nature. 966 00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:53,840 I could grow my own food. 967 00:50:53,920 --> 00:50:56,240 The first night, it rained. 968 00:50:56,800 --> 00:50:59,320 Not a big deal. It creates a nice atmosphere. 969 00:50:59,400 --> 00:51:03,640 It rained. The raft I built had a veranda. 970 00:51:03,720 --> 00:51:05,680 From here to over there. 971 00:51:06,600 --> 00:51:09,040 Just a veranda and then my room. 972 00:51:09,120 --> 00:51:10,720 The raft was about ten by ten. 973 00:51:11,240 --> 00:51:13,800 The veranda was there. This was my bedroom. 974 00:51:14,880 --> 00:51:16,760 I hadn't made any curtains yet. 975 00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:20,240 So it was just a window with brown film on it. 976 00:51:21,120 --> 00:51:22,520 It was raining outside. 977 00:51:22,600 --> 00:51:25,600 For me to sleep, there can't be any light. 978 00:51:26,480 --> 00:51:27,800 But if it's too dark, 979 00:51:28,880 --> 00:51:30,600 I get anxious 980 00:51:30,680 --> 00:51:34,520 because when it's dark, it's pitch black, 981 00:51:35,080 --> 00:51:36,840 since there were no neighbors. 982 00:51:37,920 --> 00:51:40,120 The closest light was way out there. 983 00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:44,360 A Burmese could come slit my throat, 984 00:51:44,440 --> 00:51:46,080 and no one would ever know. 985 00:51:46,160 --> 00:51:49,360 I could be eaten by a python, and no one would know. 986 00:51:49,440 --> 00:51:50,440 It was so dark. 987 00:51:52,200 --> 00:51:54,320 But I had to endure because I love nature. 988 00:51:56,760 --> 00:51:58,000 I turned out the lights, 989 00:51:58,760 --> 00:52:00,760 except for the veranda light. 990 00:52:01,760 --> 00:52:02,720 And I thought, 991 00:52:03,800 --> 00:52:04,720 "Nose, 992 00:52:05,400 --> 00:52:07,400 don't look around." 993 00:52:09,640 --> 00:52:11,280 Only look where you have to. 994 00:52:12,720 --> 00:52:16,560 I knew that at 2:00 a.m., I would have to get up to pee. 995 00:52:16,640 --> 00:52:19,480 "So don't go looking for anything because you're gonna find it." 996 00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:21,360 "Just look at your feet." 997 00:52:21,960 --> 00:52:23,880 Then at 2:00 a.m., I got up to pee. 998 00:52:23,960 --> 00:52:25,640 I walked to the bathroom. 999 00:52:25,720 --> 00:52:28,760 I did my business and went back. 1000 00:52:28,840 --> 00:52:31,320 When I laid down again… 1001 00:52:31,400 --> 00:52:32,600 This is the mirror. 1002 00:52:32,680 --> 00:52:35,000 The bed, the mirror, then the veranda. 1003 00:52:35,840 --> 00:52:37,280 I went to lie down, 1004 00:52:37,360 --> 00:52:41,000 but as soon as my head touched the pillow, 1005 00:52:41,920 --> 00:52:43,840 out of the corner of my eye… 1006 00:52:46,080 --> 00:52:47,120 Shit. 1007 00:52:49,320 --> 00:52:51,520 An old woman was sitting there in a sarong, 1008 00:52:52,320 --> 00:52:53,680 brushing her hair like this. 1009 00:52:54,440 --> 00:52:56,640 She brushed her gray hair like this. 1010 00:52:56,720 --> 00:52:58,560 I just saw her for a second, 1011 00:52:58,640 --> 00:52:59,800 just a split second. 1012 00:52:59,880 --> 00:53:00,800 I rolled over. 1013 00:53:02,920 --> 00:53:03,920 Shit. 1014 00:53:05,400 --> 00:53:06,800 "Why'd you look over there?" 1015 00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:09,120 I was scolding myself. 1016 00:53:09,200 --> 00:53:10,640 "If you hadn't looked 1017 00:53:10,720 --> 00:53:14,920 and had just laid down… But then you'd have hit your head 1018 00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:17,720 or walked into the bed. You had to look." 1019 00:53:17,800 --> 00:53:22,720 "Shit! It's your fault. You looked. What now?" 1020 00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:24,120 I was arguing with myself. 1021 00:53:24,200 --> 00:53:25,280 I prayed. 1022 00:53:26,160 --> 00:53:28,040 I prayed and prayed, 1023 00:53:28,600 --> 00:53:33,360 every prayer I knew, Bahum, even love and kindness. 1024 00:53:33,440 --> 00:53:35,960 After a bit, I realized that 1025 00:53:37,880 --> 00:53:39,280 I was a grown-up, 1026 00:53:40,200 --> 00:53:43,480 and I had to stay here a long time. Am I giving up? 1027 00:53:43,560 --> 00:53:45,440 If I lose, I'd lose forever. 1028 00:53:45,520 --> 00:53:49,400 Why don't I face it? Stand up to it. 1029 00:53:50,080 --> 00:53:51,120 Starting with 1030 00:53:51,200 --> 00:53:52,960 did my merit get to her? 1031 00:53:53,040 --> 00:53:54,280 If so, she'd be gone. 1032 00:53:54,360 --> 00:53:57,720 We could be done. Maybe she was just asking for merit. 1033 00:53:58,400 --> 00:54:02,000 Anyway, I tried to man up. I took a deep breath. 1034 00:54:02,080 --> 00:54:04,160 I braced myself, turned, 1035 00:54:05,440 --> 00:54:06,520 and looked. 1036 00:54:07,680 --> 00:54:08,800 Still there. 1037 00:54:10,640 --> 00:54:13,800 Still sitting there with legs folded to one side. 1038 00:54:13,880 --> 00:54:16,440 It was a stray dog scratching its ear. 1039 00:54:24,160 --> 00:54:26,360 What the fuck? 1040 00:54:28,720 --> 00:54:30,280 An old lady in a sarong? 1041 00:54:30,880 --> 00:54:32,160 Stupid. 1042 00:54:32,240 --> 00:54:35,240 It was a mangy dog with matted fur, like… 1043 00:54:37,720 --> 00:54:40,640 I felt so ridiculous and pathetic. Jeez. 1044 00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:43,800 And you want to be in nature? 1045 00:54:45,160 --> 00:54:48,200 After that, I went back to sleep. 1046 00:54:48,720 --> 00:54:50,320 But what if the dog was a ghost? 1047 00:54:51,280 --> 00:54:53,160 Maybe it shifts into dog form. 1048 00:54:53,240 --> 00:54:54,520 Whatever. Go to sleep. 1049 00:54:54,600 --> 00:54:56,720 In the morning, I'll ask the locals. 1050 00:54:56,800 --> 00:55:00,080 I went to ask the locals how the dog got onto the raft. 1051 00:55:00,160 --> 00:55:03,800 "It's probably a temple dog. No need to be surprised." 1052 00:55:03,880 --> 00:55:05,600 "Because of the rain." 1053 00:55:06,200 --> 00:55:11,240 "It rained. The dog probably went into the light to stay warm." 1054 00:55:11,320 --> 00:55:15,280 "Ignore it. It will leave eventually. If you're scared, build a fence." 1055 00:55:15,800 --> 00:55:17,200 All rafts need 1056 00:55:17,880 --> 00:55:21,640 to have planks to the raft. So I should put a fence up top. 1057 00:55:21,720 --> 00:55:22,560 Then it won't come. 1058 00:55:22,640 --> 00:55:24,400 No more dogs. That's a relief. 1059 00:55:24,480 --> 00:55:25,920 But so many geckos. 1060 00:55:27,360 --> 00:55:28,360 The geckos had come. 1061 00:55:28,440 --> 00:55:32,000 How did they get on? Did they jump? 1062 00:55:32,080 --> 00:55:36,080 "They must have crawled under the plank." 1063 00:55:36,160 --> 00:55:38,040 "You're scared of everything." 1064 00:55:38,680 --> 00:55:40,560 The geckos came 1065 00:55:41,480 --> 00:55:43,000 because of the insects. 1066 00:55:43,080 --> 00:55:46,160 Insects come and geckos follow. It's a cycle. 1067 00:55:46,240 --> 00:55:50,400 They used to live in the trees. But lights attracted insects, then geckos. 1068 00:55:50,480 --> 00:55:52,320 Then what next? Snakes came. 1069 00:55:52,400 --> 00:55:53,920 I had snakes, folks. 1070 00:55:54,000 --> 00:55:56,200 All these different animals. 1071 00:55:56,280 --> 00:55:57,880 Nature is coming for me. 1072 00:55:58,480 --> 00:56:01,520 Normally, in Bangkok, you take off your shoes 1073 00:56:01,600 --> 00:56:03,840 and then later just slip them on again. 1074 00:56:03,920 --> 00:56:07,040 Not here. Once I put my foot in, it felt like there was a sock. 1075 00:56:08,800 --> 00:56:10,400 It's either a toad or a frog. 1076 00:56:11,800 --> 00:56:13,920 And I wouldn't know when snakes would come. 1077 00:56:15,200 --> 00:56:17,240 Geckos, snakes, rove beetles. 1078 00:56:17,320 --> 00:56:19,200 Do you know rove beetles? 1079 00:56:19,280 --> 00:56:21,080 They come after it rains. 1080 00:56:21,160 --> 00:56:24,960 Stripes on their butts. If you touch one, it's like touching acid. 1081 00:56:25,040 --> 00:56:28,320 All kinds of animals came to my raft. Pigeons. 1082 00:56:29,960 --> 00:56:31,120 Thought it was a ghost. 1083 00:56:32,120 --> 00:56:34,520 On the roof. When did they get there? 1084 00:56:34,600 --> 00:56:36,600 Fuck. Why are there so many? 1085 00:56:37,920 --> 00:56:38,880 Fruit flies. 1086 00:56:39,440 --> 00:56:41,040 They come in the summer. 1087 00:56:41,120 --> 00:56:42,440 Not alone or in pairs. 1088 00:56:42,520 --> 00:56:45,040 They come in the hundreds of thousands. 1089 00:56:45,120 --> 00:56:46,720 I thought I was going to be 1090 00:56:46,800 --> 00:56:50,720 next to open water, reading books I haven't read in a while. 1091 00:56:50,800 --> 00:56:52,480 Writing scripts. 1092 00:56:52,560 --> 00:56:55,000 No chance. They flew around my eyes. 1093 00:56:55,960 --> 00:56:59,000 They got in my eyes and walked around. 1094 00:56:59,080 --> 00:57:02,000 I tried wearing my glasses closer to my eyes, 1095 00:57:02,080 --> 00:57:05,440 but they got together and crawled low into my eyes. 1096 00:57:06,320 --> 00:57:09,560 They usually swarm buffaloes, but there weren't buffaloes there. 1097 00:57:15,040 --> 00:57:17,800 I have to learn to live with them. 1098 00:57:18,320 --> 00:57:21,800 I Googled, "How to get rid of fruit flies." 1099 00:57:21,880 --> 00:57:23,800 I tried to look it up, but 1100 00:57:24,680 --> 00:57:25,640 the internet… 1101 00:57:25,720 --> 00:57:28,360 I can't even. 1102 00:57:28,440 --> 00:57:30,800 I wanted to be in nature. 1103 00:57:30,880 --> 00:57:31,760 No internet. 1104 00:57:31,840 --> 00:57:35,680 Took a long time to find out to use peacock flower leaves. 1105 00:57:37,320 --> 00:57:39,360 They can deter fruit flies. 1106 00:57:39,440 --> 00:57:42,680 Luckily, there was a tree on my land, 1107 00:57:42,760 --> 00:57:45,320 so I climbed it and got a bunch. 1108 00:57:45,400 --> 00:57:49,880 I picked a bunch, and I set them near me while I was writing. 1109 00:57:49,960 --> 00:57:52,920 They didn't help. The flies kept getting in my eyes. 1110 00:57:54,520 --> 00:57:56,240 I tied the leaves to my glasses. 1111 00:57:58,720 --> 00:58:02,080 Like a crazy person. I looked like a bush. 1112 00:58:04,240 --> 00:58:08,720 I'm telling you right now. Don't believe Google. It didn't do shit! 1113 00:58:08,800 --> 00:58:10,640 They kept coming like before. 1114 00:58:10,720 --> 00:58:13,400 What's worse is the leaves smelled terrible. 1115 00:58:14,200 --> 00:58:16,600 They made me dizzy and sneezy. 1116 00:58:16,680 --> 00:58:21,280 I had allergies. My nose was running. How could I be with nature? 1117 00:58:22,040 --> 00:58:24,920 It was so hard to get through each night. 1118 00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:26,480 Some especially so. 1119 00:58:26,560 --> 00:58:27,520 I'd be in bed, 1120 00:58:28,480 --> 00:58:32,480 and all I could think about, because this is just what I know… 1121 00:58:33,560 --> 00:58:35,000 I'd be in bed… ghost? 1122 00:58:36,200 --> 00:58:38,240 I'm being attacked by a ghost. 1123 00:58:38,320 --> 00:58:40,000 "How dare you be on my land?" 1124 00:58:43,640 --> 00:58:46,640 I went and asked Kaek if there were ghosts there. 1125 00:58:46,720 --> 00:58:48,600 My land is in between two temples. 1126 00:58:48,680 --> 00:58:50,240 Was there a funeral lately? 1127 00:58:50,320 --> 00:58:53,560 "Jeez. When it rains, 1128 00:58:54,360 --> 00:58:56,960 logs and bamboo come down the river." 1129 00:58:57,040 --> 00:58:59,720 "They get under the raft and hit the pontoons." 1130 00:59:02,960 --> 00:59:04,640 I looked defeated. 1131 00:59:06,760 --> 00:59:08,880 I admit I can't cook. 1132 00:59:09,440 --> 00:59:12,120 I don't know how. When night came around, 1133 00:59:13,720 --> 00:59:15,480 I wanted to go to 7-Eleven. 1134 00:59:16,080 --> 00:59:20,200 The nearest 7-Eleven was at least eight kilometers away. 1135 00:59:20,840 --> 00:59:24,760 But that wasn't the issue. I had to go through the temple. 1136 00:59:25,680 --> 00:59:30,240 Rural temples, for some reason, try to save money by shutting off the lights. 1137 00:59:30,320 --> 00:59:31,880 I took my car out. 1138 00:59:31,960 --> 00:59:34,840 Here's the raft. I had to climb the hill, 1139 00:59:34,920 --> 00:59:36,960 and then up onto the road. 1140 00:59:37,640 --> 00:59:41,720 It was pitch black. Mine were the only lights. 1141 00:59:42,240 --> 00:59:44,040 Outside, it was completely dark. 1142 00:59:44,120 --> 00:59:47,920 I tried turning off my headlights, and I was one with the dark. 1143 00:59:48,720 --> 00:59:50,120 I went a little ways. 1144 00:59:51,240 --> 00:59:53,360 Almost at the temple. About a kilometer. 1145 00:59:53,440 --> 00:59:55,280 As soon as I saw the crematorium, 1146 01:00:00,320 --> 01:00:01,560 I wasn't hungry anymore. 1147 01:00:02,720 --> 01:00:04,640 I went home and made instant noodles. 1148 01:00:06,320 --> 01:00:07,960 Things were never easy. 1149 01:00:08,040 --> 01:00:11,240 Those vegetables I wanted to grow? The worms ate them. 1150 01:00:11,320 --> 01:00:15,400 Don't be so naive. Don't ever think wood vinegar can get rid of worms. 1151 01:00:15,480 --> 01:00:17,440 It can't. 1152 01:00:17,520 --> 01:00:20,840 I talked to farmers. Using wood vinegar is just a myth. 1153 01:00:20,920 --> 01:00:23,280 It makes them feel disoriented, 1154 01:00:23,360 --> 01:00:25,520 but it doesn't deter them. 1155 01:00:25,600 --> 01:00:27,280 "So how do you all do it?" 1156 01:00:27,800 --> 01:00:29,320 "Pesticides, kid." 1157 01:00:31,640 --> 01:00:35,240 I'd figured out the truth in my time 1158 01:00:35,760 --> 01:00:39,360 living in nature and wanting to be self-sufficient. 1159 01:00:40,400 --> 01:00:42,000 I'll tell you. 1160 01:00:43,000 --> 01:00:44,440 Nothing is sufficient for me. 1161 01:00:50,080 --> 01:00:51,440 I couldn't stay. 1162 01:00:52,320 --> 01:00:53,760 It's not for me. 1163 01:00:53,840 --> 01:00:58,160 I was just pretending to want to be self-sufficient and grow vegetables. 1164 01:00:58,240 --> 01:01:03,840 It wasn't really me. It was all for show. I just wanted to be that person. 1165 01:01:03,920 --> 01:01:06,000 It wasn't easy. 1166 01:01:06,080 --> 01:01:10,560 I was just following celebrities and influencers. 1167 01:01:10,640 --> 01:01:13,560 I saw them harvesting rice. 1168 01:01:13,640 --> 01:01:15,320 Dummy. It came from a van. 1169 01:01:16,840 --> 01:01:19,600 They slather on a bunch of sunscreen, 1170 01:01:19,680 --> 01:01:22,400 get off, pose for the Gram, 1171 01:01:22,480 --> 01:01:23,920 and go back to the A/C. 1172 01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:25,160 People who really do it 1173 01:01:26,240 --> 01:01:27,480 are the farmers. 1174 01:01:27,560 --> 01:01:30,160 Don't pretend to be one. I know that now. 1175 01:01:30,920 --> 01:01:32,160 I'm not a farmer. 1176 01:01:32,880 --> 01:01:36,240 As a kid, I was poor enough. I don't need to pretend to be poor now. 1177 01:01:36,320 --> 01:01:38,440 Right? I want air conditioning, 1178 01:01:38,960 --> 01:01:43,600 high-speed internet to watch Netflix all day, and no fruit flies in my eyes. 1179 01:01:45,560 --> 01:01:46,960 I'm a consumer. 1180 01:01:52,840 --> 01:01:55,320 Other people can produce. I'll be a buyer. 1181 01:01:55,400 --> 01:01:56,920 That's a balanced society. 1182 01:01:57,000 --> 01:01:59,800 Otherwise, everyone would grow their own vegetables. 1183 01:01:59,880 --> 01:02:02,680 I went to the Sai Yok Noi market. 1184 01:02:02,760 --> 01:02:07,000 The sellers said that sales were low because it was all farmers in the area. 1185 01:02:07,080 --> 01:02:09,760 They all grew food. There was no one to buy. 1186 01:02:09,840 --> 01:02:13,840 If you grow food, you know that once you harvest, you can't eat it in time. 1187 01:02:13,920 --> 01:02:15,520 I had too much to eat. 1188 01:02:15,600 --> 01:02:19,520 Who do I give it to? I didn't have any neighbors. 1189 01:02:23,200 --> 01:02:24,080 You know? 1190 01:02:31,160 --> 01:02:32,200 Whose phone is that? 1191 01:02:35,080 --> 01:02:36,240 Ding-dong. 1192 01:02:37,480 --> 01:02:40,080 Is that Bella's phone? Leave it on, then! 1193 01:02:40,160 --> 01:02:41,600 Let's listen. I like it. 1194 01:02:41,680 --> 01:02:45,600 When I'm on stage, a ringtone like that is soothing. 1195 01:02:46,360 --> 01:02:48,080 Put three of them on. 1196 01:02:49,520 --> 01:02:51,680 Anyone who has a problem can leave. 1197 01:02:59,480 --> 01:03:02,480 During Deaw #12, 1198 01:03:05,080 --> 01:03:06,400 I actually 1199 01:03:07,040 --> 01:03:08,440 announced my engagement. 1200 01:03:09,960 --> 01:03:11,240 That was five years ago. 1201 01:03:13,600 --> 01:03:16,280 People have asked me if it's happened yet. 1202 01:03:17,760 --> 01:03:20,040 "What about the bride's house?" 1203 01:03:20,120 --> 01:03:22,040 The house was finished back then. 1204 01:03:22,120 --> 01:03:23,200 Five years later, 1205 01:03:23,880 --> 01:03:25,280 I'm still alone. 1206 01:03:26,320 --> 01:03:30,040 They ask, "Are you not lonely?" 1207 01:03:31,440 --> 01:03:33,480 "I'm fine." "How?" 1208 01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:35,800 Because of escorts. 1209 01:03:37,480 --> 01:03:39,360 You didn't know about these? 1210 01:03:40,240 --> 01:03:41,840 I'm getting by because of them. 1211 01:03:44,560 --> 01:03:49,840 I've gotten to know them very well only recently. 1212 01:03:49,920 --> 01:03:52,080 I wasn't so naive I hadn't heard of them. 1213 01:03:52,160 --> 01:03:55,400 I knew about them, but I'd never been to one. 1214 01:03:56,120 --> 01:03:58,200 Not long ago, a friend invited me 1215 01:03:58,800 --> 01:04:02,120 to a business meeting at a Japanese restaurant in Sathorn. 1216 01:04:02,200 --> 01:04:05,360 It was a bougie place with a huge VIP area. 1217 01:04:05,440 --> 01:04:08,800 I thought we were actually going to talk business. 1218 01:04:08,880 --> 01:04:12,040 Everyone at the table was a big businessman. 1219 01:04:12,120 --> 01:04:15,480 I thought they wanted me as a presenter or something. 1220 01:04:15,560 --> 01:04:17,880 I had dressed up. And then we sat down. 1221 01:04:17,960 --> 01:04:19,840 There were six or seven of them. 1222 01:04:19,920 --> 01:04:23,400 I joined them and we chatted for a bit. Made small talk. 1223 01:04:23,480 --> 01:04:25,760 They said more people would be joining us. 1224 01:04:26,280 --> 01:04:29,320 I thought they meant more businessmen. Then the door opened. 1225 01:04:31,960 --> 01:04:33,080 Gorgeous. 1226 01:04:34,160 --> 01:04:35,680 Four of them. 1227 01:04:35,760 --> 01:04:39,960 They came in and sat down at the places that had been set for them. 1228 01:04:40,600 --> 01:04:42,080 There was one named 1229 01:04:42,760 --> 01:04:46,160 Joy, let's say, sitting next to me. 1230 01:04:46,240 --> 01:04:49,320 This is how professional they are. 1231 01:04:49,400 --> 01:04:51,120 They act very familiar. 1232 01:04:52,000 --> 01:04:53,080 Like a school friend. 1233 01:04:53,760 --> 01:04:55,000 "Nose this, Nose that." 1234 01:04:55,080 --> 01:04:58,960 They just fit right in. So this is what they call "professional." 1235 01:04:59,040 --> 01:05:01,720 But they don't do anything sexual. 1236 01:05:01,800 --> 01:05:04,200 They just entertain. 1237 01:05:04,800 --> 01:05:07,960 We were having fun. Talking dirty. 1238 01:05:08,040 --> 01:05:10,520 But Joy beside me, 1239 01:05:10,600 --> 01:05:13,440 I noticed that she wasn't saying much. 1240 01:05:13,960 --> 01:05:17,160 So I thought I'd… be a gentleman 1241 01:05:18,840 --> 01:05:20,240 and take some food… 1242 01:05:20,320 --> 01:05:23,440 I'll be honest. I was trying to flirt. 1243 01:05:24,440 --> 01:05:27,920 I took some sushi and put it on her plate. 1244 01:05:30,880 --> 01:05:34,960 She turned and looked, "You only give me one bite." 1245 01:05:35,600 --> 01:05:38,720 "But when I eat you, I'll take two bites." 1246 01:05:47,400 --> 01:05:48,840 That's a real escort. 1247 01:05:52,560 --> 01:05:53,800 I gave her wasabi. 1248 01:05:53,880 --> 01:05:57,240 "Careful, honey. It's spicy. This is fresh wasabi. Here." 1249 01:05:59,200 --> 01:06:00,240 "But 1250 01:06:00,880 --> 01:06:01,800 I'm spicier." 1251 01:06:08,880 --> 01:06:14,840 After that, I saw that she was wearing one of those jackets women like to wear. 1252 01:06:15,560 --> 01:06:18,120 It's like a blazer, but the arms don't go in. 1253 01:06:18,200 --> 01:06:20,800 I didn't understand why she was wearing it. 1254 01:06:21,440 --> 01:06:22,800 It had to… 1255 01:06:23,760 --> 01:06:26,760 It had to be hard to lift her arms or pick things up. 1256 01:06:26,840 --> 01:06:30,160 It was like she was carrying a rod with things hanging on each end. 1257 01:06:31,800 --> 01:06:35,080 I asked her, "Are you cold?" 1258 01:06:35,160 --> 01:06:39,440 "If you're cold, I'll tell the staff to turn down the A/C." 1259 01:06:39,520 --> 01:06:41,640 She said, "I'm not cold." 1260 01:06:41,720 --> 01:06:43,480 "If I take this off, 1261 01:06:45,120 --> 01:06:48,400 everyone will see my breasts." 1262 01:06:49,320 --> 01:06:50,680 "Could you handle it?" 1263 01:06:54,120 --> 01:06:56,560 She took it off before I could answer. 1264 01:06:58,520 --> 01:07:02,480 She draped it over a chair and then turned to face me. 1265 01:07:03,200 --> 01:07:04,400 I was right here. 1266 01:07:05,440 --> 01:07:07,240 And the first thing she said was, 1267 01:07:08,400 --> 01:07:10,000 "Do you think they're big?" 1268 01:07:11,400 --> 01:07:14,920 My whole life, I've never had this kind of conversation. 1269 01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:17,560 A woman just asked me, "Do you think they're big?" 1270 01:07:18,400 --> 01:07:21,000 If this is universally accepted, I'll use it. 1271 01:07:21,080 --> 01:07:25,280 On the train, could I ask a woman, "Does my dick look big?" 1272 01:07:33,760 --> 01:07:34,920 Very entertaining. 1273 01:07:35,000 --> 01:07:37,600 It was a new conversation for me. Livened me right up. 1274 01:07:39,120 --> 01:07:42,640 "Um, well… they're nice and proportioned." 1275 01:07:44,600 --> 01:07:48,360 She said, "I'm going to get a boob job to make them E cups." 1276 01:07:49,240 --> 01:07:52,400 I asked, "Why? These are good already." 1277 01:07:52,480 --> 01:07:56,200 "You don't get it. There's a lot of competition in this job." 1278 01:07:56,280 --> 01:07:58,160 "I have to have a selling point." 1279 01:07:58,240 --> 01:07:59,880 "These look natural." 1280 01:07:59,960 --> 01:08:04,600 "Natural is also a selling point and hard to find these days." 1281 01:08:06,800 --> 01:08:07,920 "You're too late." 1282 01:08:08,000 --> 01:08:10,360 "My surgery is in four days." 1283 01:08:11,720 --> 01:08:13,040 "Really?" 1284 01:08:14,280 --> 01:08:18,360 She sighed. "But I can't get it done anyway." 1285 01:08:18,440 --> 01:08:19,640 "Why not?" 1286 01:08:20,760 --> 01:08:21,720 "I'm 40,000 short." 1287 01:08:26,840 --> 01:08:29,760 I told her to postpone the surgery. 1288 01:08:34,680 --> 01:08:36,880 She said, "I can't." 1289 01:08:36,960 --> 01:08:40,320 "The surgeon is famous." She listed some of the celebrity clients. 1290 01:08:40,400 --> 01:08:43,880 "They're really good. It's hard to get an appointment." 1291 01:08:43,960 --> 01:08:46,520 "Most importantly, I need them quick." 1292 01:08:47,120 --> 01:08:48,280 "Need them quick?" 1293 01:08:48,360 --> 01:08:52,320 I was confused. Was there a waiting list to suck on them? 1294 01:08:53,000 --> 01:08:56,000 I didn't know what to say. "Ah, yes." 1295 01:08:56,080 --> 01:08:58,640 I started eating again to avoid having to talk. 1296 01:08:58,720 --> 01:09:01,360 I had a sip of green tea. 1297 01:09:01,440 --> 01:09:04,800 There was an awkward silence, and she said to me, 1298 01:09:05,520 --> 01:09:06,400 "Nose?" 1299 01:09:07,600 --> 01:09:09,000 "If you helped me out 1300 01:09:10,720 --> 01:09:11,840 with the 40,000, 1301 01:09:12,600 --> 01:09:15,520 after the surgery, you'll be the first to see them." 1302 01:09:19,520 --> 01:09:21,600 Wait. I wasn't born yesterday. 1303 01:09:21,680 --> 01:09:24,840 I'm a grown man. I've seen a lot. 1304 01:09:24,920 --> 01:09:28,880 We've just met, and she asks me for 40k for a boob job? 1305 01:09:28,960 --> 01:09:30,880 You know what I said to her? 1306 01:09:30,960 --> 01:09:32,360 "Joy… 1307 01:09:35,160 --> 01:09:36,320 give me your bank info." 1308 01:09:41,720 --> 01:09:42,800 Got her Line ID? 1309 01:09:42,880 --> 01:09:46,480 I transferred her the money right away. 1310 01:09:46,560 --> 01:09:47,720 Sent. 1311 01:09:47,800 --> 01:09:50,000 In four days, I'll be the first to see them. 1312 01:09:51,040 --> 01:09:52,720 I didn't have to wait four days. 1313 01:09:52,800 --> 01:09:56,120 At about 2:00 a.m., she blocked my Line account. 1314 01:10:02,680 --> 01:10:05,040 I know this will be on Netflix. 1315 01:10:05,560 --> 01:10:06,640 So at least 1316 01:10:08,080 --> 01:10:11,120 if she's watching… I'll talk to the camera. 1317 01:10:12,720 --> 01:10:13,760 Joy, 1318 01:10:16,440 --> 01:10:17,560 that 40,000 1319 01:10:19,400 --> 01:10:20,480 is no problem. 1320 01:10:21,480 --> 01:10:23,600 I'm not asking for it back. 1321 01:10:25,400 --> 01:10:27,000 It was worth the money 1322 01:10:27,080 --> 01:10:29,880 for such a professional entertaining service. 1323 01:10:30,440 --> 01:10:32,400 But… 1324 01:10:33,800 --> 01:10:37,000 well… if I could ask for just one small thing. 1325 01:10:37,080 --> 01:10:41,480 That night, next to each other, I saw that she had very nice tattoos. 1326 01:10:41,560 --> 01:10:44,080 They were here and there. Graphic-style tattoos. 1327 01:10:44,160 --> 01:10:47,400 I would like to ask you, Joy, 1328 01:10:48,080 --> 01:10:49,080 to get a tattoo 1329 01:10:50,120 --> 01:10:51,440 of my name 1330 01:10:52,840 --> 01:10:53,840 under your breast. 1331 01:10:57,360 --> 01:10:58,720 The name of your donor. 1332 01:11:08,160 --> 01:11:10,520 Like when you go to temples, 1333 01:11:10,600 --> 01:11:13,360 there are names engraved on trays, plates, chairs, 1334 01:11:13,440 --> 01:11:15,640 and the base of some sort of tombstone. 1335 01:11:18,280 --> 01:11:22,480 So when people use her breasts, 1336 01:11:22,560 --> 01:11:26,440 rubbing them, 1337 01:11:27,560 --> 01:11:30,560 pushing them up, sucking, 1338 01:11:30,640 --> 01:11:33,080 sniffing, licking, whatever… 1339 01:11:34,400 --> 01:11:35,320 "Hey, wait." 1340 01:11:36,000 --> 01:11:39,480 "'Donated by Nose Udom Taephanich.'" 1341 01:11:39,560 --> 01:11:40,880 "Wait a second." 1342 01:11:41,800 --> 01:11:43,480 "I rejoice in his merit." 1343 01:11:59,360 --> 01:12:01,680 It's not that I'm not looking for a partner. 1344 01:12:02,200 --> 01:12:03,200 It's not that. 1345 01:12:03,280 --> 01:12:04,960 I date like everyone else. 1346 01:12:05,040 --> 01:12:08,920 When you want love, you go out and find someone you're into, 1347 01:12:09,000 --> 01:12:11,000 and you date and get to know them. 1348 01:12:11,080 --> 01:12:12,680 But the thing is, 1349 01:12:12,760 --> 01:12:14,720 love is not enough. 1350 01:12:14,800 --> 01:12:18,640 Relationships aren't just between two people either. 1351 01:12:18,720 --> 01:12:22,240 Love involves many people around those two people. 1352 01:12:22,320 --> 01:12:25,120 Parents, siblings, relatives, coworkers. 1353 01:12:25,200 --> 01:12:29,960 Love involves lots of people and the little details about that person. 1354 01:12:31,080 --> 01:12:33,520 About eating, pooping, sex, sleeping. 1355 01:12:34,040 --> 01:12:35,480 Eating, pooping, sex, sleeping. 1356 01:12:35,560 --> 01:12:36,400 Eating. 1357 01:12:37,000 --> 01:12:38,400 Imagine that 1358 01:12:39,720 --> 01:12:41,920 someone loves to eat. 1359 01:12:42,000 --> 01:12:44,280 They eat and eat, and it makes them happy. 1360 01:12:44,360 --> 01:12:48,600 But the other doesn't care for it. They're picky. Not this or that. 1361 01:12:48,680 --> 01:12:52,000 They're vegan or don't eat things for cult reasons. 1362 01:12:52,080 --> 01:12:53,600 It's harder, you see? 1363 01:12:54,160 --> 01:12:57,400 I'm not saying what's good or bad, but it's a mismatch. 1364 01:12:57,480 --> 01:12:59,320 We eat several times a day. 1365 01:12:59,400 --> 01:13:02,440 You have breakfast, and then three hours later, you eat. 1366 01:13:02,520 --> 01:13:04,920 What to eat is always an issue. 1367 01:13:05,000 --> 01:13:06,560 Do you eat the same? 1368 01:13:06,640 --> 01:13:07,600 Pooping. 1369 01:13:08,200 --> 01:13:09,360 I once had a friend. 1370 01:13:10,520 --> 01:13:12,120 We're still friends, actually. 1371 01:13:12,680 --> 01:13:15,360 We went abroad together for ten days. She didn't poop. 1372 01:13:15,960 --> 01:13:18,320 This woman did not poop. 1373 01:13:18,840 --> 01:13:21,040 I was worried. How do you do it? 1374 01:13:21,120 --> 01:13:22,360 She said it wouldn't come. 1375 01:13:22,440 --> 01:13:26,440 She drank water, ate this and that, whatever would help, but nothing came out. 1376 01:13:26,520 --> 01:13:31,080 In those ten days, I learned what the face of someone who can't poop looks like. 1377 01:13:31,160 --> 01:13:33,240 Nothing looked good to her. 1378 01:13:33,320 --> 01:13:37,040 She didn't want to shop or do anything. She looked depressed. 1379 01:13:37,680 --> 01:13:41,360 We'd walk around and her sweat would be sticky like watery diarrhea. 1380 01:13:44,160 --> 01:13:45,280 We were miserable. 1381 01:13:45,360 --> 01:13:46,840 We weren't happy at all. 1382 01:13:46,920 --> 01:13:50,080 This is what happens when there's a pooping incompatibility. 1383 01:13:50,160 --> 01:13:53,200 Is my partner the jealous type? Do they cheat? 1384 01:13:54,040 --> 01:13:55,440 Are they an alcoholic? 1385 01:13:56,200 --> 01:13:59,920 Lazy? There are lots of things to consider. 1386 01:14:01,400 --> 01:14:03,640 Eating, pooping, sex. 1387 01:14:04,280 --> 01:14:06,520 We're all adults. We know it's important. 1388 01:14:07,240 --> 01:14:08,400 Are you compatible? 1389 01:14:09,760 --> 01:14:13,600 For men, I'll compare it to food so you can understand. 1390 01:14:13,680 --> 01:14:14,560 Sex… 1391 01:14:14,640 --> 01:14:17,040 Some men are in a hurry. 1392 01:14:18,320 --> 01:14:20,440 If it's like food, they're impatient. 1393 01:14:21,000 --> 01:14:25,080 Say, when they eat instant noodles, the noodles aren't even fully cooked. 1394 01:14:26,000 --> 01:14:28,360 When they're done, they go to sleep. 1395 01:14:30,240 --> 01:14:32,360 But their partner has more delicate tastes. 1396 01:14:33,040 --> 01:14:34,680 They prefer omakase dining. 1397 01:14:35,840 --> 01:14:39,480 There's got to be an appetizer to stimulate the taste buds, 1398 01:14:40,080 --> 01:14:43,920 then other dishes in a specific order until you get to the main course. 1399 01:14:44,000 --> 01:14:46,480 Then dessert to finish things off. 1400 01:14:46,560 --> 01:14:49,320 There has to be an atmosphere and music. 1401 01:14:49,400 --> 01:14:52,120 The scent… everything must be perfect. 1402 01:14:52,200 --> 01:14:53,760 It's all very delicate. 1403 01:14:53,840 --> 01:14:56,040 But this guy just does it and is out. 1404 01:14:56,120 --> 01:14:58,200 Doesn't make an effort. 1405 01:14:58,280 --> 01:15:00,160 It's a mismatch. 1406 01:15:02,160 --> 01:15:03,400 Some people like 1407 01:15:05,160 --> 01:15:06,200 to stuff themselves. 1408 01:15:07,280 --> 01:15:09,000 Maybe they watch too much porn. 1409 01:15:09,600 --> 01:15:11,400 Chomp, chomp, chomp. 1410 01:15:11,480 --> 01:15:14,800 It's all quantity over quality. They love a buffet. 1411 01:15:15,920 --> 01:15:19,280 They gorge themselves. Rimming, blowing, muff diving. 1412 01:15:20,960 --> 01:15:23,920 Toe sucking. All this weird stuff they see in pornos. 1413 01:15:30,520 --> 01:15:32,920 Some people are like hermits 1414 01:15:34,640 --> 01:15:35,600 living in a cave. 1415 01:15:36,320 --> 01:15:38,040 They come out once a year. 1416 01:15:41,760 --> 01:15:44,760 If you're not compatible, it won't work out. Trust me. 1417 01:15:46,520 --> 01:15:48,520 Eating, pooping, sex, sleeping. 1418 01:15:48,600 --> 01:15:51,360 Sleeping. This is super important. 1419 01:15:51,440 --> 01:15:52,960 I once dated this woman. 1420 01:15:53,880 --> 01:15:56,920 After several months, we wanted to know each other better, 1421 01:15:57,000 --> 01:15:58,760 so we went on a trip abroad. 1422 01:15:58,840 --> 01:15:59,800 So we went. 1423 01:16:00,360 --> 01:16:02,920 That was our first night together, 1424 01:16:03,000 --> 01:16:04,520 on the same bed. 1425 01:16:04,600 --> 01:16:08,400 We had not had any sexual relations before. 1426 01:16:09,000 --> 01:16:10,000 We get into bed. 1427 01:16:10,640 --> 01:16:13,080 It was king-sized, and to show my pure intentions, 1428 01:16:13,160 --> 01:16:15,800 I put a pillow between us. 1429 01:16:15,880 --> 01:16:17,120 I was a gentleman. 1430 01:16:18,440 --> 01:16:22,480 Deep down, I wanted to cross that line, but I kept it together 1431 01:16:23,480 --> 01:16:25,760 because adult relationships are serious. 1432 01:16:25,840 --> 01:16:31,520 I wanted a serious relationship, someone to spend the rest of my life with. 1433 01:16:31,600 --> 01:16:35,120 So that night we're in bed, and I'm trying to be cool. 1434 01:16:35,200 --> 01:16:39,160 I'm a middle-aged man. I can't have soda before bed, or at all. 1435 01:16:39,240 --> 01:16:40,240 I'll be farting. 1436 01:16:41,400 --> 01:16:44,840 Poot, poot. Braap! I'll lose points with her. 1437 01:16:45,360 --> 01:16:46,840 I can't be snoring. 1438 01:16:46,920 --> 01:16:49,400 Don't snore. I fluffed my pillow up 1439 01:16:49,480 --> 01:16:51,640 so that I couldn't roll over 1440 01:16:51,720 --> 01:16:53,920 or wind up in any strange positions. 1441 01:16:54,000 --> 01:16:55,160 This was how I slept. 1442 01:16:55,960 --> 01:16:57,960 If my neck turns, I'll snore. 1443 01:16:58,640 --> 01:17:00,600 Then I tried to sleep. 1444 01:17:01,720 --> 01:17:02,960 I shut off the lights. 1445 01:17:04,880 --> 01:17:05,960 We fell asleep. 1446 01:17:06,040 --> 01:17:07,640 In the middle of the night, 1447 01:17:08,400 --> 01:17:10,240 about 1:00 or 2:00 a.m., 1448 01:17:10,840 --> 01:17:11,960 I heard snoring. 1449 01:17:14,320 --> 01:17:18,720 I was jolted awake. "Shit. Don't do this." 1450 01:17:18,800 --> 01:17:21,560 "Don't screw this up." 1451 01:17:22,720 --> 01:17:25,400 Have you ever been woken up by your own snoring? 1452 01:17:25,480 --> 01:17:27,400 You hear it, and it startles you? 1453 01:17:28,640 --> 01:17:31,520 I sat up in bed. "Come on. Keep it together." 1454 01:17:31,600 --> 01:17:36,120 While I was rearranging my pillows, I still heard the snoring. 1455 01:17:40,880 --> 01:17:42,240 It was like this. 1456 01:17:57,480 --> 01:17:59,240 Like a pig being crushed in a doorway. 1457 01:18:00,240 --> 01:18:01,440 For real. 1458 01:18:01,520 --> 01:18:03,160 I had to practice that sound a lot 1459 01:18:04,720 --> 01:18:06,960 because I wanted it to be accurate for you. 1460 01:18:08,440 --> 01:18:09,880 Every chord. 1461 01:18:26,240 --> 01:18:27,560 I was not the snorer. 1462 01:18:31,800 --> 01:18:33,160 It was her. 1463 01:18:34,280 --> 01:18:36,120 What could I do? 1464 01:18:36,200 --> 01:18:39,280 I need complete darkness and quiet to sleep. 1465 01:18:39,360 --> 01:18:41,640 She snored. 1466 01:18:42,160 --> 01:18:45,640 I didn't know her well enough yet. If she were a friend, I could kick her, 1467 01:18:46,400 --> 01:18:49,040 or roll her head to the other side to change the station. 1468 01:18:49,120 --> 01:18:50,160 Put on the B-side. 1469 01:18:50,240 --> 01:18:53,600 Different music. Because I've never heard this one before. 1470 01:18:56,920 --> 01:18:59,880 How does it work? Was it the way her neck was bent? 1471 01:19:01,040 --> 01:19:03,680 I'd never heard these notes before. 1472 01:19:04,840 --> 01:19:05,960 She kept on snoring. 1473 01:19:06,040 --> 01:19:09,560 From 2:00 a.m. until morning, I didn't sleep a wink. 1474 01:19:10,320 --> 01:19:12,040 I just laid there. 1475 01:19:12,560 --> 01:19:13,480 Oh, man. 1476 01:19:15,920 --> 01:19:17,680 Come morning, everything was normal. 1477 01:19:17,760 --> 01:19:21,480 You know what you ask when you start seeing someone? 1478 01:19:21,560 --> 01:19:25,000 We went down to have breakfast at the hotel. 1479 01:19:26,600 --> 01:19:27,880 "How'd you sleep?" 1480 01:19:31,240 --> 01:19:33,440 I'm a considerate person. 1481 01:19:34,240 --> 01:19:36,440 I told her, "Not well at all." 1482 01:19:38,240 --> 01:19:39,880 "Why? Were the pillows too firm?" 1483 01:19:39,960 --> 01:19:42,840 "Nah, they were fine." It was a five-star hotel. 1484 01:19:43,360 --> 01:19:45,480 "Was the bed too firm?" 1485 01:19:45,560 --> 01:19:47,440 "Nah, it was better than at home." 1486 01:19:48,720 --> 01:19:49,640 "Then 1487 01:19:51,000 --> 01:19:52,560 why couldn't you sleep?" 1488 01:19:56,000 --> 01:19:58,240 I was trying to be considerate by saying, 1489 01:19:59,040 --> 01:20:00,560 "You were snoring." 1490 01:20:02,360 --> 01:20:05,280 Any good humor she had just left her face. 1491 01:20:08,040 --> 01:20:09,200 "That's not funny." 1492 01:20:09,920 --> 01:20:11,560 She told me it wasn't funny. 1493 01:20:11,640 --> 01:20:14,000 "Don't mess around like that." 1494 01:20:14,080 --> 01:20:18,040 "I broke up with my ex because he snored, and I couldn't sleep." 1495 01:20:19,200 --> 01:20:22,120 "My friends told me to break up with him." 1496 01:20:22,200 --> 01:20:24,920 "We couldn't figure out what to do." 1497 01:20:25,000 --> 01:20:28,440 "Then one night we were out of town, and I took a clip of him doing it." 1498 01:20:28,520 --> 01:20:31,960 "I sent it to my friends to show them what I was dealing with." 1499 01:20:32,040 --> 01:20:34,960 "They told me to break it off. So this isn't funny at all." 1500 01:20:35,680 --> 01:20:37,200 Then I got the cold shoulder. 1501 01:20:37,280 --> 01:20:40,240 We went out, and she was all mopey. 1502 01:20:40,320 --> 01:20:41,640 She was acting… you know? 1503 01:20:42,360 --> 01:20:45,800 I took her shopping to make her feel better. 1504 01:20:46,560 --> 01:20:48,080 Her mood improved at dinner. 1505 01:20:48,160 --> 01:20:51,000 Then we got back into the same bed. 1506 01:20:51,960 --> 01:20:53,200 And, I mean, 1507 01:20:53,280 --> 01:20:56,560 when we're tired, we might snore. 1508 01:20:56,640 --> 01:20:57,920 I do it too. 1509 01:20:58,000 --> 01:21:00,640 If you're tired or in the wrong position, you might snore. 1510 01:21:00,720 --> 01:21:04,280 Maybe it had happened because she was tired from traveling. 1511 01:21:04,360 --> 01:21:06,760 So we slept. It was about the same time of night. 1512 01:21:38,720 --> 01:21:41,000 Like a pig was being tortured. 1513 01:21:41,680 --> 01:21:44,800 I didn't know what to do. I couldn't sleep. 1514 01:21:44,880 --> 01:21:47,760 I sat up quietly so I wouldn't wake her. 1515 01:21:48,680 --> 01:21:51,480 My phone was charging next to the bed. 1516 01:21:53,160 --> 01:21:54,920 I unplugged it. 1517 01:21:56,000 --> 01:21:57,640 I didn't know what else to do, 1518 01:21:58,480 --> 01:22:00,600 so I took a video. 1519 01:22:17,320 --> 01:22:18,760 A long one. 1520 01:22:18,840 --> 01:22:21,240 I didn't know what else to do until morning. 1521 01:22:21,320 --> 01:22:22,560 I had a lot of footage. 1522 01:22:23,200 --> 01:22:26,120 The next morning at breakfast, she asked again, 1523 01:22:26,680 --> 01:22:27,520 "Nose, 1524 01:22:28,240 --> 01:22:29,600 how did you sleep?" 1525 01:22:30,120 --> 01:22:32,240 I really am a considerate person. 1526 01:22:38,720 --> 01:22:39,840 I showed her the video. 1527 01:22:45,960 --> 01:22:47,080 She watched it. 1528 01:22:50,200 --> 01:22:51,080 It looked like 1529 01:22:51,800 --> 01:22:54,480 she was going to drop my phone. 1530 01:22:56,120 --> 01:22:57,080 "Nose, 1531 01:22:58,480 --> 01:22:59,560 is this for real?" 1532 01:23:00,080 --> 01:23:02,360 "It's not a fake. That would have taken ages." 1533 01:23:03,400 --> 01:23:05,040 "It can't be real." 1534 01:23:05,800 --> 01:23:06,800 "It can't be." 1535 01:23:06,880 --> 01:23:09,560 She was bawling. 1536 01:23:09,640 --> 01:23:12,800 There, in the restaurant. 1537 01:23:12,880 --> 01:23:14,960 She was really crying her eyes out. 1538 01:23:15,040 --> 01:23:19,200 I didn't know how to console her. I didn't think it would be this bad. 1539 01:23:19,880 --> 01:23:22,240 I had to tell her 1540 01:23:22,320 --> 01:23:26,160 that we all snore. We all have stuff. 1541 01:23:26,240 --> 01:23:28,080 We went back. 1542 01:23:28,160 --> 01:23:31,720 We cut the trip short. She didn't speak to me on the plane. 1543 01:23:32,360 --> 01:23:35,120 Afterwards, I wanted to help. 1544 01:23:35,200 --> 01:23:37,600 I said, "Let's go see a doctor 1545 01:23:38,200 --> 01:23:42,440 to get a sleep test at Samitivej Srinakarin." 1546 01:23:43,360 --> 01:23:44,960 We had to sleep at the hospital. 1547 01:23:45,600 --> 01:23:50,160 The doctors and nurses stuck things on our heads, temples, chests, 1548 01:23:50,240 --> 01:23:52,800 all the way down to our toes. 1549 01:23:52,880 --> 01:23:56,320 We slept and let the doctors and nurses monitor 1550 01:23:56,400 --> 01:23:58,480 if we were breathing or tossing and turning. 1551 01:23:58,560 --> 01:24:01,400 All this stuff they measured with a computer. 1552 01:24:01,480 --> 01:24:03,000 Then they looked over it. 1553 01:24:03,600 --> 01:24:06,640 She has to sleep with a mask for the rest of her life. 1554 01:24:07,600 --> 01:24:11,320 There's no way to cure it. You can't cure snoring. 1555 01:24:12,000 --> 01:24:13,160 It's too complicated. 1556 01:24:13,240 --> 01:24:16,400 The cause could be allergies, being overweight, 1557 01:24:16,480 --> 01:24:19,760 muscular weakness in the tongue, 1558 01:24:19,840 --> 01:24:24,920 or a constricted airway that causes a lack of oxygen. 1559 01:24:25,000 --> 01:24:27,280 It's like when you drink boba tea. 1560 01:24:27,360 --> 01:24:29,520 Usually, the liquid comes up easily, 1561 01:24:29,600 --> 01:24:31,600 but the boba can plug up the straw. 1562 01:24:32,600 --> 01:24:33,720 It's like that. 1563 01:24:35,000 --> 01:24:38,160 Our bodies need oxygen. They don't want to die. 1564 01:24:40,480 --> 01:24:41,520 That's the cause. 1565 01:24:41,600 --> 01:24:44,720 It was time to choose a mask. 1566 01:24:44,800 --> 01:24:46,480 It was a big decision. 1567 01:24:46,560 --> 01:24:48,160 The masks were like care models. 1568 01:24:48,680 --> 01:24:52,280 There were the Chinese ones, and then there were the supercars. 1569 01:24:52,360 --> 01:24:54,080 Lighter ones were expensive 1570 01:24:54,160 --> 01:24:59,200 because the machine releases oxygen mixed with moisture into your nose. 1571 01:25:01,920 --> 01:25:02,760 It's loud. 1572 01:25:05,120 --> 01:25:08,240 It won't fit your face right 1573 01:25:08,760 --> 01:25:12,520 unless it's custom-made, so you have to try different models. 1574 01:25:12,600 --> 01:25:14,240 There are ones with three straps 1575 01:25:14,840 --> 01:25:18,240 that cover your nose and mouth. 1576 01:25:18,320 --> 01:25:19,560 There's a long tube 1577 01:25:20,680 --> 01:25:22,840 that connects to a machine beside the bed. 1578 01:25:22,920 --> 01:25:25,480 The machine was on the side I like to sleep, 1579 01:25:25,560 --> 01:25:27,200 but the plug was there. 1580 01:25:28,040 --> 01:25:28,960 She plugged it in. 1581 01:25:37,720 --> 01:25:38,600 Picture it. 1582 01:25:39,120 --> 01:25:42,680 The mask and three straps across her face. Headband like a tennis player. 1583 01:25:42,760 --> 01:25:45,160 Straps right down the middle and under the chin. 1584 01:25:45,240 --> 01:25:47,040 Otherwise, it would slip off. 1585 01:25:57,320 --> 01:26:00,920 Don't think you could get turned on with it. 1586 01:26:04,200 --> 01:26:05,760 Like sleeping with Darth Vader. 1587 01:26:10,200 --> 01:26:14,080 You think you'd be down for some hanky-panky with Darth Vader? 1588 01:26:14,160 --> 01:26:16,440 "Hey, baby." 1589 01:26:16,520 --> 01:26:17,560 Then she turns around… 1590 01:26:26,560 --> 01:26:27,840 There goes my lightsaber. 1591 01:26:33,800 --> 01:26:35,160 I wondered to myself 1592 01:26:35,760 --> 01:26:39,360 if I could stand being with… 1593 01:26:39,440 --> 01:26:42,240 It was like she was a patient, and I was her caregiver. 1594 01:26:42,320 --> 01:26:46,520 Could I sleep with this invalid for the rest of my life? 1595 01:26:47,120 --> 01:26:49,480 You know what I mean? In real life… 1596 01:26:49,560 --> 01:26:51,520 Relationships require choices. 1597 01:26:51,600 --> 01:26:54,320 And you have to take responsibility for those choices. 1598 01:26:55,080 --> 01:26:57,040 There's no right or wrong. But you choose. 1599 01:26:57,120 --> 01:26:59,360 Imagine your husband drinks too much. 1600 01:26:59,440 --> 01:27:01,120 You're choosing to be with him. 1601 01:27:01,200 --> 01:27:02,400 Or if he gambles. 1602 01:27:02,480 --> 01:27:03,720 You're choosing to stay. 1603 01:27:03,800 --> 01:27:05,520 He's a game addict. 1604 01:27:05,600 --> 01:27:09,240 Did you choose him? Yes? Then that's on you. 1605 01:27:09,320 --> 01:27:10,440 That's how it is. 1606 01:27:12,240 --> 01:27:13,720 Being with Darth Vader? 1607 01:27:16,000 --> 01:27:16,920 Are you into it? 1608 01:27:17,920 --> 01:27:19,680 You won't get to use the lightsaber. 1609 01:27:22,560 --> 01:27:26,080 I've told ghost stories a lot lately. 1610 01:27:26,160 --> 01:27:28,840 People ask me if it's true. 1611 01:27:29,360 --> 01:27:31,640 I don't know, but it's still in my house. 1612 01:27:33,080 --> 01:27:34,040 Yeah. 1613 01:27:34,120 --> 01:27:37,960 A lot of my elders are worried for me. 1614 01:27:38,760 --> 01:27:41,560 They call me and say, "Nose, do you still have that ghost?" 1615 01:27:41,640 --> 01:27:43,360 I say, "I don't know, 1616 01:27:43,440 --> 01:27:46,480 but I've gotten braver. I feel like we can live with one another." 1617 01:27:46,560 --> 01:27:49,320 They ask, "Have you been making merit for them?" 1618 01:27:49,400 --> 01:27:51,120 I say, "Don't worry about that." 1619 01:27:51,200 --> 01:27:54,800 "This has been my number one priority." 1620 01:27:54,880 --> 01:27:56,840 "It's the thing I love doing most." 1621 01:27:57,480 --> 01:27:59,480 "Have you been sharing it?" "Of course." 1622 01:27:59,560 --> 01:28:01,600 "Are they receiving it?" "How would I know?" 1623 01:28:02,680 --> 01:28:04,880 "If they got the merit, it would be over." 1624 01:28:04,960 --> 01:28:07,920 "How do I know? I've been sending it to my karmic partners." 1625 01:28:08,000 --> 01:28:10,400 "No, you have to identify their name." 1626 01:28:11,560 --> 01:28:13,800 "Wait. How am I supposed to know who… 1627 01:28:14,880 --> 01:28:16,080 this belongs to?" 1628 01:28:16,160 --> 01:28:17,160 You know? 1629 01:28:17,240 --> 01:28:19,880 Who sent me this ghost? Where did it come from? 1630 01:28:19,960 --> 01:28:22,760 Someone told me it's black magic. From who? 1631 01:28:23,400 --> 01:28:25,440 "I know a shaman who can help." 1632 01:28:25,520 --> 01:28:26,720 "Where?" 1633 01:28:26,800 --> 01:28:28,200 "Here's his number." 1634 01:28:28,280 --> 01:28:30,520 He gave me the location too. 1635 01:28:31,600 --> 01:28:32,560 "How's he special?" 1636 01:28:33,080 --> 01:28:35,560 "You need to go see him." 1637 01:28:36,080 --> 01:28:39,800 "He'll give you five names." 1638 01:28:39,880 --> 01:28:42,360 "Then you'll need to ask for forgiveness 1639 01:28:42,440 --> 01:28:44,800 with incense, candles, and flowers." 1640 01:28:44,880 --> 01:28:47,320 "It'll be gone by morning." 1641 01:28:48,240 --> 01:28:50,240 "Oh, okay. I'll give it a try." 1642 01:28:50,320 --> 01:28:51,840 So I went to find the shaman. 1643 01:28:51,920 --> 01:28:54,560 He's in the north. I can't say the province. 1644 01:28:54,640 --> 01:28:57,280 I couldn't find him because the roads were complicated, 1645 01:28:57,360 --> 01:28:59,120 so I hired 1646 01:28:59,920 --> 01:29:01,080 a driver named Ad. 1647 01:29:01,160 --> 01:29:03,880 Ad was a young northern guy with fair skin. 1648 01:29:03,960 --> 01:29:05,680 Good-looking man. One kid. 1649 01:29:06,280 --> 01:29:08,280 He took me through all the roads. 1650 01:29:08,360 --> 01:29:11,880 Long story short, we arrived at a Lanna-style house. 1651 01:29:11,960 --> 01:29:13,600 Several people were waiting. 1652 01:29:13,680 --> 01:29:16,600 I waited about an hour and a half for my turn. 1653 01:29:16,680 --> 01:29:20,080 I went inside the house. It was the size of this stage. 1654 01:29:20,160 --> 01:29:23,400 He sat on a bench with a triangular cushion next to him. 1655 01:29:24,720 --> 01:29:27,920 I crawled towards him. "What brings you here?" he asked. 1656 01:29:28,000 --> 01:29:29,760 I told him what was going on. 1657 01:29:29,840 --> 01:29:33,080 "I have a ghost. Someone told me I've been cursed." 1658 01:29:33,160 --> 01:29:35,960 "It's all right. I will… 1659 01:29:37,600 --> 01:29:38,800 give you names." 1660 01:29:38,880 --> 01:29:40,240 "Yes. What do I do?" 1661 01:29:40,840 --> 01:29:42,680 "Visit nine temples to make merit." 1662 01:29:43,320 --> 01:29:46,280 He gave me a list of temples. 1663 01:29:47,280 --> 01:29:51,800 "It has to be these nine because they are connected to your karma." 1664 01:29:52,440 --> 01:29:54,960 "Ah, I see. What do I do after that?" 1665 01:29:55,040 --> 01:29:56,600 "After that, 1666 01:29:56,680 --> 01:30:00,120 send photos or videos of you making merit to my assistant." 1667 01:30:00,200 --> 01:30:01,240 I got his number. 1668 01:30:01,760 --> 01:30:04,080 Once I had visited all nine temples, 1669 01:30:04,160 --> 01:30:08,520 the assistant would take that merit like a fee and then meditate. 1670 01:30:09,040 --> 01:30:10,720 Communicate with some higher power 1671 01:30:10,800 --> 01:30:14,800 and decode that into a list of five names. 1672 01:30:14,880 --> 01:30:15,920 I was done, 1673 01:30:16,000 --> 01:30:20,080 so I thanked the shaman as I was supposed to. 1674 01:30:20,600 --> 01:30:22,000 I walk out the door. 1675 01:30:23,880 --> 01:30:25,480 "Wait," he said. 1676 01:30:26,080 --> 01:30:28,200 "The first can leave. The other must stay." 1677 01:30:28,280 --> 01:30:29,960 The first was me. 1678 01:30:30,040 --> 01:30:32,480 The other was Ad. What? 1679 01:30:33,480 --> 01:30:34,680 "Come to me." 1680 01:30:34,760 --> 01:30:38,040 I figured they were going to talk about me 1681 01:30:38,680 --> 01:30:42,600 because he might have known something life-threatening. 1682 01:30:42,680 --> 01:30:44,720 Didn't want to say it to me. 1683 01:30:44,800 --> 01:30:46,160 So I waited outside. 1684 01:30:47,080 --> 01:30:49,720 Ad was in there for 35 more minutes. 1685 01:30:49,800 --> 01:30:51,640 I waited in the heat for him. 1686 01:30:51,720 --> 01:30:52,840 When he came out, 1687 01:30:52,920 --> 01:30:55,360 I asked him, "Hey, Ad. How was it?" 1688 01:30:56,320 --> 01:30:59,880 "I can't tell you here. Let's get in the car." 1689 01:31:00,560 --> 01:31:01,640 We get in the car. 1690 01:31:02,160 --> 01:31:04,200 We drove some ways. "Just tell me." 1691 01:31:04,280 --> 01:31:07,560 "We're still too close. I don't think I can say it yet." 1692 01:31:07,640 --> 01:31:11,600 "Shit. I need to know now. Tell me." 1693 01:31:11,680 --> 01:31:15,200 "There's a café ten kilometers from here." 1694 01:31:16,480 --> 01:31:18,520 We stopped there. 1695 01:31:19,240 --> 01:31:20,800 We sat down without ordering. 1696 01:31:20,880 --> 01:31:22,960 "Tell me. What's going on?" 1697 01:31:23,040 --> 01:31:24,480 "I went in, 1698 01:31:25,400 --> 01:31:27,400 and the shaman locked the door, 1699 01:31:28,200 --> 01:31:29,560 closed the curtains, 1700 01:31:30,360 --> 01:31:31,400 and walked up to me, 1701 01:31:31,920 --> 01:31:34,200 close enough that I could feel him breathing." 1702 01:31:34,720 --> 01:31:36,120 "He spoke in Northern Thai." 1703 01:31:37,040 --> 01:31:39,200 "Are you having any problems right now?" 1704 01:31:39,280 --> 01:31:41,400 "No, I'm not." 1705 01:31:41,480 --> 01:31:43,960 "You will." 1706 01:31:45,240 --> 01:31:46,120 "But wait, 1707 01:31:46,640 --> 01:31:48,320 I'll give you five names." 1708 01:31:49,080 --> 01:31:50,760 "Where should I go to make merit?" 1709 01:31:50,840 --> 01:31:51,720 "No need." 1710 01:31:52,400 --> 01:31:53,640 "Then what should I do?" 1711 01:31:53,720 --> 01:31:54,600 "Shirt off." 1712 01:31:56,720 --> 01:31:59,600 Ad took off his shirt. "What did he do?" 1713 01:32:00,320 --> 01:32:03,400 "He got very close to me and asked, 'What day of the week were you born?'" 1714 01:32:03,480 --> 01:32:05,880 "I answered, 'Sunday, sir.'" 1715 01:32:07,480 --> 01:32:10,360 "He tapped me with his hand in ascendant signs." 1716 01:32:11,680 --> 01:32:13,880 "Monday, Tuesday, 1717 01:32:14,720 --> 01:32:15,600 Wednesday, 1718 01:32:16,120 --> 01:32:17,040 Thursday, 1719 01:32:17,840 --> 01:32:18,720 Friday, 1720 01:32:19,320 --> 01:32:21,320 Saturday, Sunday." 1721 01:32:25,960 --> 01:32:27,640 "Ad! What did you do?" 1722 01:32:27,720 --> 01:32:28,920 "I didn't know what to do." 1723 01:32:29,000 --> 01:32:32,040 "I didn't know if it was a ritual. I just let him grope me." 1724 01:32:33,360 --> 01:32:36,360 "And then what?" "He asked me what month I was born." 1725 01:32:36,440 --> 01:32:38,520 "I said September." 1726 01:32:39,880 --> 01:32:43,080 "January, February, March, April… 1727 01:32:45,840 --> 01:32:46,840 September." 1728 01:32:49,880 --> 01:32:51,400 "What is your birth year sign?" 1729 01:32:51,480 --> 01:32:55,280 "I was born in the Year of the Pig." 1730 01:32:57,040 --> 01:33:00,360 "The Rat. The Ox. The Tiger. The Rabbit." 1731 01:33:00,440 --> 01:33:02,240 "The Monkey. The Rooster. The Dog." 1732 01:33:02,320 --> 01:33:03,320 "The Pig." 1733 01:33:05,920 --> 01:33:06,800 "And then what?" 1734 01:33:06,880 --> 01:33:09,000 "He told me he couldn't see yet." 1735 01:33:09,080 --> 01:33:10,760 "The list was still unclear." 1736 01:33:10,840 --> 01:33:14,080 "They weren't complete. Sometimes with just first or last names." 1737 01:33:15,920 --> 01:33:16,920 "What should I do?" 1738 01:33:17,000 --> 01:33:18,120 "Pants off." 1739 01:33:19,120 --> 01:33:20,640 He had Ad take off his pants 1740 01:33:20,720 --> 01:33:24,360 and lie down on the bench where he was sitting. 1741 01:33:24,440 --> 01:33:27,000 Sat on that bench. The shaman got close. 1742 01:33:27,520 --> 01:33:28,640 He asked him again, 1743 01:33:28,720 --> 01:33:31,320 "What day were you born?" "I already told you." 1744 01:33:31,400 --> 01:33:32,960 "The list is still unclear." 1745 01:33:33,840 --> 01:33:35,560 Again, Rat, Ox, grope. 1746 01:33:35,640 --> 01:33:38,440 He groped him through the whole set. 1747 01:33:38,520 --> 01:33:39,360 Then Ad left. 1748 01:33:39,880 --> 01:33:43,200 He showed me the paper. "These are the five names I got." 1749 01:33:44,000 --> 01:33:45,720 I looked at it. "Shit!" 1750 01:33:45,800 --> 01:33:48,680 I said it so loud, people in the café looked at me. 1751 01:33:48,760 --> 01:33:52,760 "What the fuck is wrong with him? Why did he do that?" 1752 01:33:52,840 --> 01:33:56,080 "Don't worry about it. I'm a guy, so it wasn't a big deal." 1753 01:33:56,680 --> 01:33:58,080 "Yes, it was!" 1754 01:33:58,160 --> 01:34:00,760 I get upset hearing about sexual harassment. 1755 01:34:00,840 --> 01:34:04,040 It doesn't just happen to women. It can happen to men too. 1756 01:34:04,120 --> 01:34:05,200 I felt… 1757 01:34:05,280 --> 01:34:07,480 "I brought you there." 1758 01:34:07,560 --> 01:34:09,160 "I took you into that." 1759 01:34:09,240 --> 01:34:10,240 "We're going back." 1760 01:34:10,320 --> 01:34:12,720 "We gotta teach that scumbag a lesson." 1761 01:34:13,320 --> 01:34:14,280 "It's no big deal." 1762 01:34:15,240 --> 01:34:17,440 "No, he can't get away with it." 1763 01:34:17,960 --> 01:34:19,480 "What are you going to do?" 1764 01:34:19,560 --> 01:34:22,640 "I'm going to confront him with everyone around." 1765 01:34:22,720 --> 01:34:24,840 "Shaman, how could you do this?" 1766 01:34:27,240 --> 01:34:28,880 "What's wrong with my dick?" 1767 01:34:31,120 --> 01:34:33,280 "Why do I have to go to nine temples?" 1768 01:34:35,200 --> 01:34:36,480 "Travel all over." 1769 01:34:36,560 --> 01:34:40,600 "I have to go to Phitsanulok, into the mountains, Bangkok." 1770 01:34:40,680 --> 01:34:42,680 "To go to all nine, it'll take me 1771 01:34:42,760 --> 01:34:45,200 almost a month and 100,000 baht in plane tickets." 1772 01:34:45,280 --> 01:34:47,240 "I could've just had my dick squeezed." 1773 01:34:47,880 --> 01:34:49,080 "What did I do wrong?" 1774 01:34:52,400 --> 01:34:54,200 "Get over here and grope me." 1775 01:34:55,360 --> 01:34:56,640 "I'll get undressed." 1776 01:35:07,160 --> 01:35:09,840 This is life for my generation. 1777 01:35:12,200 --> 01:35:16,560 It's… being over the hill. It's retirement age. 1778 01:35:18,160 --> 01:35:20,880 People around this age will think the same way. 1779 01:35:20,960 --> 01:35:23,160 We want to complete our bucket list. 1780 01:35:23,240 --> 01:35:26,040 We get excited to do things we've never done. 1781 01:35:26,120 --> 01:35:27,720 Some people want to 1782 01:35:29,200 --> 01:35:31,440 skydive, jump out of a plane. 1783 01:35:31,520 --> 01:35:33,920 Others want to climb mountains 1784 01:35:34,480 --> 01:35:35,800 or swim with sharks. 1785 01:35:35,880 --> 01:35:37,520 Some people travel the world. 1786 01:35:37,600 --> 01:35:40,440 You know? I never really cared about those. 1787 01:35:40,520 --> 01:35:42,240 I never wanted to do all that. 1788 01:35:42,320 --> 01:35:44,640 They aren't a big draw for me. 1789 01:35:44,720 --> 01:35:46,600 I like things that make me 1790 01:35:47,720 --> 01:35:48,680 feel energized. 1791 01:35:48,760 --> 01:35:50,240 But not like that. 1792 01:35:50,320 --> 01:35:53,200 I just did something very energizing. 1793 01:35:54,840 --> 01:35:56,160 I saw an exotic dance. 1794 01:35:58,000 --> 01:36:00,560 Yep. 1795 01:36:01,200 --> 01:36:04,320 You may think exotic dancers aren't that special. 1796 01:36:04,400 --> 01:36:05,560 Why would you go there? 1797 01:36:05,640 --> 01:36:09,160 It wasn't my idea. A foreign friend of mine came up with it. 1798 01:36:09,240 --> 01:36:10,960 He was visiting. I asked him his plans. 1799 01:36:11,040 --> 01:36:14,120 He said eating at Jay Fai's, Wat Phra Kaew. 1800 01:36:14,200 --> 01:36:15,520 For his last stop, 1801 01:36:15,600 --> 01:36:18,920 he was going to a go-go bar on Bangla Street in Phuket. 1802 01:36:19,000 --> 01:36:21,360 I asked why. He said, "You've never heard of it?" 1803 01:36:21,880 --> 01:36:23,440 "I'm not gonna say." 1804 01:36:23,520 --> 01:36:26,760 "You need to see for yourself. You're Thai!" 1805 01:36:27,680 --> 01:36:29,400 I couldn't let him look down on me, 1806 01:36:30,720 --> 01:36:31,880 so I had to go. 1807 01:36:31,960 --> 01:36:33,640 These kinds of things are 1808 01:36:34,440 --> 01:36:35,520 important to me. 1809 01:36:35,600 --> 01:36:36,760 The kinds of things 1810 01:36:39,120 --> 01:36:42,840 that seem pointless but actually mean everything to me. 1811 01:36:43,360 --> 01:36:48,120 So I went to Phuket, to Bangla. I found the bar he told me about. 1812 01:36:48,720 --> 01:36:52,360 He told me the show was like nothing I'd ever seen. 1813 01:36:52,440 --> 01:36:57,280 I didn't know anything about it. I stepped onto Bangla and into the alley… 1814 01:36:57,360 --> 01:36:58,760 with people dancing. 1815 01:36:58,840 --> 01:37:00,560 Some saw me and asked for photos. 1816 01:37:00,640 --> 01:37:03,640 It was all good. I asked someone where the bar was. 1817 01:37:04,240 --> 01:37:05,280 They told me, 1818 01:37:06,120 --> 01:37:08,000 "It's a secret bar." 1819 01:37:08,880 --> 01:37:13,760 "It changes its name every month because the police always shut it down." 1820 01:37:14,800 --> 01:37:15,680 "I can't 1821 01:37:16,360 --> 01:37:19,720 tell you where it is right now, but it used to be on that street." 1822 01:37:19,800 --> 01:37:22,880 He pointed at a street, and I walked that way. 1823 01:37:23,800 --> 01:37:26,920 I found the place, but there was another name on it. 1824 01:37:27,440 --> 01:37:30,280 I walked up to a guy standing outside. 1825 01:37:30,360 --> 01:37:31,440 He looked tough. 1826 01:37:31,960 --> 01:37:34,000 "I'm looking for this place." 1827 01:37:35,400 --> 01:37:36,520 "You're Thai?" 1828 01:37:36,600 --> 01:37:39,080 "No Thais. You can't come in." 1829 01:37:39,160 --> 01:37:42,200 Thais couldn't go in. No wonder. 1830 01:37:42,280 --> 01:37:44,120 "Get out of here. Thais aren't allowed." 1831 01:37:44,200 --> 01:37:45,720 He chased me off like a dog. 1832 01:37:45,800 --> 01:37:48,040 Being Nose Udom meant nothing. 1833 01:37:49,440 --> 01:37:52,240 I gave up. I had traveled all this way, 1834 01:37:52,840 --> 01:37:55,400 and I couldn't even get in. Then I saw this guy. 1835 01:37:55,480 --> 01:37:57,920 He had tattoos all over his face. 1836 01:37:58,000 --> 01:38:00,400 I took a photo with him up the alley. 1837 01:38:01,080 --> 01:38:03,360 He said, "Nose, what are you doing?" 1838 01:38:03,440 --> 01:38:06,240 "I wanted to go to this go-go bar." 1839 01:38:07,120 --> 01:38:09,640 He walked through a group of foreigners. 1840 01:38:09,720 --> 01:38:12,280 "You," he said to the guy selling tickets. 1841 01:38:12,360 --> 01:38:13,200 "You." 1842 01:38:21,320 --> 01:38:24,200 "Put your phone away. They don't allow recording." 1843 01:38:27,720 --> 01:38:29,080 He must be the boss man. 1844 01:38:29,600 --> 01:38:31,800 My good deeds were finally paying off. 1845 01:38:31,880 --> 01:38:33,760 This was my reward. 1846 01:38:33,840 --> 01:38:36,360 I was the only Thai in the bar. 1847 01:38:36,440 --> 01:38:38,680 The room was about this big 1848 01:38:39,960 --> 01:38:45,360 and full of Koreans, Chinese, Blacks, Whites. All sorts of people. 1849 01:38:45,440 --> 01:38:47,600 He walked me up to the very front. 1850 01:38:47,680 --> 01:38:49,880 Right here. Right next to the stage. 1851 01:38:49,960 --> 01:38:51,160 It was a bit higher. 1852 01:38:51,760 --> 01:38:52,920 Like this. 1853 01:38:53,000 --> 01:38:55,080 The show had started a while ago. 1854 01:38:55,600 --> 01:38:57,800 As soon as I got there, it was that show. 1855 01:38:57,880 --> 01:38:59,920 Okay. It was… 1856 01:39:01,920 --> 01:39:04,280 a woman who was about 40. 1857 01:39:04,360 --> 01:39:08,880 She came out dancing… these sexy moves, 1858 01:39:08,960 --> 01:39:12,920 but it looked like she hadn't gotten enough sleep. 1859 01:39:13,000 --> 01:39:15,680 Like she was tired and malnourished. 1860 01:39:15,760 --> 01:39:18,240 And perhaps she had financial problems. 1861 01:39:18,320 --> 01:39:21,960 She danced like she had seen a lot in her day. 1862 01:39:22,640 --> 01:39:23,760 So she danced. 1863 01:39:23,840 --> 01:39:25,320 The music was dance music. 1864 01:39:25,400 --> 01:39:27,360 I want to hum it to you, 1865 01:39:27,440 --> 01:39:29,480 but I'd have to pay for the rights. 1866 01:39:29,560 --> 01:39:33,920 If I sing or hum anything in my show, I might get sued. 1867 01:39:34,000 --> 01:39:36,160 Stand-ups are hard these days. 1868 01:39:36,880 --> 01:39:40,240 My staff told me to hum this one instead. 1869 01:39:40,320 --> 01:39:42,280 They'd gotten permission for it. 1870 01:39:42,880 --> 01:39:44,480 It's "Thatthong Sound." 1871 01:39:45,160 --> 01:39:47,240 Imagine her dancing to "Thatthong Sound." 1872 01:39:47,760 --> 01:39:49,800 I don't actually know the lyrics. 1873 01:39:51,480 --> 01:39:53,080 Thatthong Sound 1874 01:39:53,720 --> 01:39:54,960 Looking at the stars… 1875 01:39:59,000 --> 01:40:01,240 It doesn't work! 1876 01:40:01,320 --> 01:40:04,360 Let's say she was dancing. 1877 01:40:04,440 --> 01:40:07,120 After a bit, she walked over to pick up a bowl. 1878 01:40:07,200 --> 01:40:10,640 It was a fishbowl with a ruffled edge. 1879 01:40:11,120 --> 01:40:12,960 About this size. There was water in it. 1880 01:40:13,040 --> 01:40:15,800 She carried it over and set it here. 1881 01:40:15,880 --> 01:40:18,240 Set it right here. 1882 01:40:19,040 --> 01:40:21,960 Then she stood with it between her legs. 1883 01:40:22,040 --> 01:40:23,480 The song was still playing. 1884 01:40:29,160 --> 01:40:32,480 Jeez! Why couldn't you have gotten an easier song? 1885 01:40:34,040 --> 01:40:35,720 Then the song stopped. 1886 01:40:35,800 --> 01:40:36,680 Pop. 1887 01:40:37,840 --> 01:40:41,800 She was completely naked. Not an article of clothing on her. 1888 01:40:41,880 --> 01:40:42,720 Pop. 1889 01:40:43,440 --> 01:40:45,120 She did a little hip flick. 1890 01:40:47,920 --> 01:40:49,080 Something living 1891 01:40:49,720 --> 01:40:50,800 came out of her… 1892 01:40:53,200 --> 01:40:55,280 "snatch." I'll call it a "snatch." 1893 01:40:55,360 --> 01:40:58,240 It's a common term these days. "Snatch." 1894 01:40:58,320 --> 01:41:00,720 This creature came out of her snatch. 1895 01:41:00,800 --> 01:41:01,800 It came out, 1896 01:41:02,480 --> 01:41:04,640 and at first it didn't move. 1897 01:41:05,240 --> 01:41:08,120 It landed in the water and rose to the top. 1898 01:41:09,920 --> 01:41:11,000 I knew it was a fish. 1899 01:41:11,520 --> 01:41:14,480 I knew from the shape. It was wriggling a bit. 1900 01:41:14,560 --> 01:41:16,560 It's a fish. But it didn't swim. 1901 01:41:17,320 --> 01:41:18,240 I'm not sure why. 1902 01:41:19,560 --> 01:41:21,240 Maybe it was in shock. 1903 01:41:22,240 --> 01:41:24,520 Maybe it had hit its head. 1904 01:41:25,120 --> 01:41:27,160 Can you imagine it? The impact. 1905 01:41:27,240 --> 01:41:29,560 After a bit, it got used to the water. 1906 01:41:29,640 --> 01:41:30,560 Its fins were… 1907 01:41:33,000 --> 01:41:34,560 Then it started to swim. 1908 01:41:34,640 --> 01:41:38,280 It swam around the bowl. I was at the front. This close to it. 1909 01:41:38,360 --> 01:41:40,160 I could tell it was a fish. 1910 01:41:40,680 --> 01:41:42,880 But I looked, "What fish is that?" 1911 01:41:42,960 --> 01:41:44,240 What kind of fish? 1912 01:41:44,320 --> 01:41:46,280 I wondered just like everyone. 1913 01:41:48,120 --> 01:41:48,960 Catfish. 1914 01:41:50,240 --> 01:41:52,840 My jaw dropped, just like all of yours. 1915 01:41:52,920 --> 01:41:54,320 It was about this big. 1916 01:41:54,400 --> 01:41:57,160 This big. I was right there. 1917 01:41:57,240 --> 01:41:58,760 A catfish! 1918 01:41:58,840 --> 01:42:03,400 How did a catfish come out of there? I had so many questions. 1919 01:42:03,480 --> 01:42:04,920 How did it work? 1920 01:42:05,000 --> 01:42:06,840 Wouldn't the barbs have stung her? 1921 01:42:07,760 --> 01:42:10,920 When I was a kid, I caught one, and it stung me. It hurt so bad. 1922 01:42:11,000 --> 01:42:13,720 Where did she put the barbs? 1923 01:42:14,760 --> 01:42:17,200 Where did it go? How did the storage work? 1924 01:42:18,280 --> 01:42:21,280 While I was perplexed, she did another flick. 1925 01:42:21,360 --> 01:42:24,440 Three of them were swimming in the bowl. 1926 01:42:24,520 --> 01:42:28,120 I get now why my foreign friend said 1927 01:42:28,200 --> 01:42:30,040 it was sad I hadn't seen this. 1928 01:42:30,120 --> 01:42:32,480 It really broadened my horizons. 1929 01:42:32,560 --> 01:42:34,640 I was enthralled. 1930 01:42:34,720 --> 01:42:36,160 All three of them were out. 1931 01:42:36,240 --> 01:42:38,160 I was really impressed at that moment. 1932 01:42:38,240 --> 01:42:40,520 All I had for her in return was a tip. 1933 01:42:40,600 --> 01:42:43,000 I gave her everything I got. 1934 01:42:43,080 --> 01:42:44,120 Gave her the tip. 1935 01:42:44,200 --> 01:42:46,240 Then she packed up her skit. 1936 01:42:46,320 --> 01:42:47,480 Someone else came up. 1937 01:42:47,560 --> 01:42:50,280 She was carrying a fishbowl too, but it was empty. 1938 01:42:50,360 --> 01:42:51,680 The fish were home, maybe. 1939 01:42:52,600 --> 01:42:53,760 Back with their mother. 1940 01:42:54,560 --> 01:42:56,960 Right? Who had just given birth to them. 1941 01:43:05,120 --> 01:43:06,480 Are you sleepy or laughing? 1942 01:43:07,840 --> 01:43:11,240 Are you leaning over because you're laughing, or are you falling asleep? 1943 01:43:16,560 --> 01:43:18,560 I've just peaked. 1944 01:43:19,520 --> 01:43:21,000 Tell me, what did I do wrong? 1945 01:43:21,800 --> 01:43:22,840 What's the problem? 1946 01:43:27,960 --> 01:43:29,280 I'll be watching you. 1947 01:43:34,800 --> 01:43:37,080 Back to the fishbowl. 1948 01:43:37,160 --> 01:43:39,000 This woman was about 30. 1949 01:43:39,080 --> 01:43:41,360 She set the bowl down. 1950 01:43:42,480 --> 01:43:43,920 The music started. 1951 01:43:44,800 --> 01:43:46,920 Let's avoid issues and keep the same song. 1952 01:43:49,080 --> 01:43:51,680 I'm really forcing myself. 1953 01:43:51,760 --> 01:43:53,840 She was dancing to this sexy music. 1954 01:43:53,920 --> 01:43:57,320 Sexy dance. Then the music stopped. 1955 01:43:58,000 --> 01:44:01,360 She did the hip flick, and out came… 1956 01:44:01,440 --> 01:44:03,840 Do you know what came out? 1957 01:44:06,880 --> 01:44:08,000 It had four legs. 1958 01:44:11,320 --> 01:44:12,280 Turtle. 1959 01:44:14,640 --> 01:44:15,720 A Japanese turtle. 1960 01:44:15,800 --> 01:44:17,520 It was round. About this big. 1961 01:44:18,040 --> 01:44:21,120 A Japanese turtle. It was adorable. 1962 01:44:21,200 --> 01:44:22,400 A Japanese turtle. 1963 01:44:26,840 --> 01:44:31,040 There were three of them again. They were swimming around. 1964 01:44:33,760 --> 01:44:35,240 The mother of turtles. 1965 01:44:36,800 --> 01:44:38,400 So this is what she looks like. 1966 01:44:38,920 --> 01:44:44,040 What could I give her for such a thing? I gave her a huge tip. She left. 1967 01:44:44,120 --> 01:44:46,400 She had been very professional, 1968 01:44:46,480 --> 01:44:49,160 but it seemed like she didn't really enjoy her job. 1969 01:44:49,240 --> 01:44:50,200 I think that 1970 01:44:51,000 --> 01:44:51,880 it's like, 1971 01:44:52,360 --> 01:44:54,400 I don't know, 1972 01:44:55,040 --> 01:44:56,760 her business is her business. 1973 01:44:58,000 --> 01:45:00,240 At least she enjoyed it more than this bitch. 1974 01:45:02,880 --> 01:45:04,600 I'll keep coming back to you. 1975 01:45:04,680 --> 01:45:07,160 I won't let you fall asleep. 1976 01:45:07,240 --> 01:45:10,640 She picked up the bowl and set it aside. 1977 01:45:10,720 --> 01:45:12,560 The third woman came out. 1978 01:45:12,640 --> 01:45:13,960 Not the same as the first one. 1979 01:45:14,040 --> 01:45:17,080 I don't know how old she was. She was older. 1980 01:45:17,160 --> 01:45:19,600 She also danced some. 1981 01:45:19,680 --> 01:45:23,280 They all came on like this. Doing a sexy dance. 1982 01:45:23,800 --> 01:45:25,440 When the music stopped, 1983 01:45:25,520 --> 01:45:27,840 I was anticipating… 1984 01:45:27,920 --> 01:45:30,840 I was anticipating what would come out. 1985 01:45:30,920 --> 01:45:33,080 There was no one there to talk to 1986 01:45:33,160 --> 01:45:35,680 because it was all foreigners. 1987 01:45:36,200 --> 01:45:38,920 I think they didn't expect a Thai in the audience. 1988 01:45:40,440 --> 01:45:42,200 What was going to come out? 1989 01:45:42,280 --> 01:45:43,680 She stood there, 1990 01:45:44,800 --> 01:45:46,720 but nothing came out right then. 1991 01:45:47,240 --> 01:45:49,200 There wasn't a bowl. 1992 01:45:49,280 --> 01:45:51,640 But after a while, something poked its head out. 1993 01:45:54,600 --> 01:45:55,640 Bird. 1994 01:45:57,720 --> 01:46:00,160 A yellow bird stuck its head out. 1995 01:46:02,000 --> 01:46:03,520 And then she went "pop," 1996 01:46:03,600 --> 01:46:07,080 and it flew out of her snatch. 1997 01:46:08,120 --> 01:46:10,080 It flew out of the snatch. 1998 01:46:10,160 --> 01:46:14,000 I'm telling you. This was more exciting 1999 01:46:14,080 --> 01:46:16,640 that jumping out of a plane with no parachute. 2000 01:46:16,720 --> 01:46:18,640 Or swimming with crocodiles. 2001 01:46:18,720 --> 01:46:20,800 Or climbing Everest. 2002 01:46:20,880 --> 01:46:22,960 A bird came out of her snatch. 2003 01:46:23,040 --> 01:46:25,680 Two meters in front of me. 2004 01:46:25,760 --> 01:46:26,600 It was like… 2005 01:46:26,680 --> 01:46:28,720 It was like a scene from a movie, 2006 01:46:28,800 --> 01:46:31,720 but it was real. It flew out. 2007 01:46:32,320 --> 01:46:33,600 The bird flew off. 2008 01:46:34,520 --> 01:46:36,040 It flew around the room. 2009 01:46:36,120 --> 01:46:39,360 It wasn't like in the movies where it would swoop down. 2010 01:46:39,440 --> 01:46:41,760 More like a bird that flew into the house. 2011 01:46:41,840 --> 01:46:43,120 It was startled. 2012 01:46:43,200 --> 01:46:47,040 It had just come out of a cave, and now there were all these people. 2013 01:46:47,120 --> 01:46:51,440 The audience was making a noise like you. It flew into a mirror and a wall. 2014 01:46:51,520 --> 01:46:53,960 The audience was howling. 2015 01:46:54,040 --> 01:46:55,160 It was like 2016 01:46:55,720 --> 01:46:57,520 it had been scripted. 2017 01:46:57,600 --> 01:46:59,520 It flew around, and where did it land? 2018 01:46:59,600 --> 01:47:01,200 In front of me. 2019 01:47:01,280 --> 01:47:04,640 I really wish this was made up, but it's true. 2020 01:47:04,720 --> 01:47:06,280 It didn't land like this. 2021 01:47:06,360 --> 01:47:07,280 Lightly like this. 2022 01:47:07,360 --> 01:47:09,960 It landed here, and then it slid. 2023 01:47:10,480 --> 01:47:14,040 Smack. And it drifted… under the table. 2024 01:47:14,120 --> 01:47:15,440 Went under the table. 2025 01:47:15,520 --> 01:47:17,480 And everyone's eyes 2026 01:47:18,080 --> 01:47:21,680 were right here because they were worried about the bird. 2027 01:47:21,760 --> 01:47:24,080 It went under the table, and I was like… 2028 01:47:24,160 --> 01:47:25,640 I had to lift my legs. 2029 01:47:25,720 --> 01:47:27,360 But I wanted to help catch it. 2030 01:47:27,440 --> 01:47:29,240 I was afraid I would step on it. 2031 01:47:29,320 --> 01:47:31,720 This could have been her legitimate child. 2032 01:47:32,520 --> 01:47:34,720 What would I do if I killed her child? 2033 01:47:34,800 --> 01:47:35,880 Like this. 2034 01:47:37,720 --> 01:47:39,720 The staff came over to get it. 2035 01:47:39,800 --> 01:47:41,040 What do you call them? 2036 01:47:41,120 --> 01:47:43,520 The servers and the bar owner came to help. 2037 01:47:43,600 --> 01:47:45,200 "Lift your legs, please." 2038 01:47:45,280 --> 01:47:46,800 People were gathered around. 2039 01:47:47,560 --> 01:47:49,480 The woman who had released the bird, 2040 01:47:49,560 --> 01:47:52,400 the mother of birds, came up to me. 2041 01:47:52,480 --> 01:47:54,360 This is Nose Udom here. 2042 01:47:54,440 --> 01:47:57,600 "Sit still. Don't step on it." 2043 01:47:58,240 --> 01:48:00,320 While she was in front of me, she… 2044 01:48:03,920 --> 01:48:04,800 "Hey." 2045 01:48:05,400 --> 01:48:08,120 "Is that Nose?" 2046 01:48:08,880 --> 01:48:10,880 "Hey, it's Nose Udom." 2047 01:48:12,680 --> 01:48:14,040 She'd forgotten the bird. 2048 01:48:14,600 --> 01:48:15,520 "Nose Udom." 2049 01:48:15,600 --> 01:48:18,240 "Shit! Nose Udom is here!" 2050 01:48:18,320 --> 01:48:20,160 Her mood completely changed. 2051 01:48:20,240 --> 01:48:21,800 She looked excited. 2052 01:48:21,880 --> 01:48:25,560 "Nose! How did you get in? Who let you in?" 2053 01:48:25,640 --> 01:48:28,760 "I saw you before, but I thought you were Jackie Chan." 2054 01:48:29,560 --> 01:48:32,000 "It's really Nose Udom. Hey, wait." 2055 01:48:32,080 --> 01:48:34,120 She told the server, "Bring a pen and paper." 2056 01:48:34,200 --> 01:48:36,800 "I watched you as a kid. Bring the paper here." 2057 01:48:36,880 --> 01:48:38,160 She crawled closer to me. 2058 01:48:40,360 --> 01:48:43,400 "Could you sign this, please?" 2059 01:48:44,840 --> 01:48:46,440 You have to understand that 2060 01:48:47,240 --> 01:48:48,640 she was stark naked. 2061 01:48:51,160 --> 01:48:54,240 Which is no big deal for her. It's her uniform. 2062 01:48:54,320 --> 01:48:56,200 Right? It's her work uniform. 2063 01:48:56,280 --> 01:48:57,560 Just a normal thing. 2064 01:48:57,640 --> 01:49:00,840 She'd probably been doing this for ten years. 2065 01:49:00,920 --> 01:49:02,200 It was nothing new. 2066 01:49:02,280 --> 01:49:03,600 She squatted. 2067 01:49:03,680 --> 01:49:04,960 "Please sign this." 2068 01:49:06,040 --> 01:49:09,800 While I was doing it, I wasn't sure where to look. 2069 01:49:11,040 --> 01:49:15,120 It was the first time that I didn't feel like a celebrity. 2070 01:49:15,200 --> 01:49:16,760 I felt like an OB-GYN. 2071 01:49:18,560 --> 01:49:21,840 My signature was all over the place. 2072 01:49:21,920 --> 01:49:23,640 It was all… 2073 01:49:23,720 --> 01:49:27,320 There was too much going on for me to process. The bird… 2074 01:49:27,400 --> 01:49:29,960 And then she came and just spread like… 2075 01:49:30,040 --> 01:49:32,280 Her being a fan. So much. 2076 01:49:32,360 --> 01:49:34,040 This was something else. 2077 01:49:34,120 --> 01:49:38,400 "Don't go anywhere. When I'm finished, could I get a photo too?" 2078 01:49:38,480 --> 01:49:40,760 She was talking to me for a while. 2079 01:49:41,680 --> 01:49:42,720 It was like… 2080 01:49:44,000 --> 01:49:48,440 I didn't know what to say. I was floored. I gave her a huge tip. 2081 01:49:48,520 --> 01:49:50,840 Then we found her bird. 2082 01:49:50,920 --> 01:49:55,080 She gathered it up and thanked the crowd. We clapped for her. 2083 01:49:55,160 --> 01:49:57,920 "Since you're here, I'll give you an encore." 2084 01:49:58,600 --> 01:49:59,440 An encore? 2085 01:50:00,600 --> 01:50:02,880 I wanted to know what it would be. 2086 01:50:02,960 --> 01:50:05,800 She disappeared, probably to discuss 2087 01:50:05,880 --> 01:50:08,480 what they would do for me. 2088 01:50:09,600 --> 01:50:11,680 In a little while, three of them came out 2089 01:50:12,400 --> 01:50:14,520 carrying a bunch of bananas. 2090 01:50:15,120 --> 01:50:18,440 They were green bananas. 2091 01:50:18,520 --> 01:50:19,760 They carried them together. 2092 01:50:19,840 --> 01:50:24,120 The music was peppy. They were dancing. And they brought the bananas. 2093 01:50:24,200 --> 01:50:26,720 Then she pulled off a banana 2094 01:50:27,320 --> 01:50:28,520 and peeled it. 2095 01:50:28,600 --> 01:50:29,440 And then 2096 01:50:30,720 --> 01:50:31,680 she 2097 01:50:32,840 --> 01:50:33,960 took that banana 2098 01:50:34,840 --> 01:50:37,480 and stuck it in, in this position. 2099 01:50:37,560 --> 01:50:39,880 I was wondering why. 2100 01:50:39,960 --> 01:50:43,120 She put it all the way up there. 2101 01:50:44,160 --> 01:50:46,920 Then there was an announcement. 2102 01:50:47,000 --> 01:50:47,960 The DJ came on. 2103 01:50:48,040 --> 01:50:51,560 "Would someone like to volunteer to hold the basket?" 2104 01:50:52,400 --> 01:50:53,320 Do you think… 2105 01:50:55,400 --> 01:50:56,960 You think I'd let that pass by? 2106 01:50:58,720 --> 01:51:00,960 Not a chance. She shoved it at me. 2107 01:51:01,040 --> 01:51:04,200 "Come on up." So I went up on that stage. 2108 01:51:04,280 --> 01:51:07,480 Onstage, I had the basket. I didn't know why. 2109 01:51:08,920 --> 01:51:11,240 I didn't know how to act. "What do I do?" 2110 01:51:12,040 --> 01:51:15,200 "Hold it like that. If something comes out, catch it." 2111 01:51:18,560 --> 01:51:20,200 The basket was over there. 2112 01:51:20,960 --> 01:51:24,440 Music came on. They counted, "One, two, three," and pushed, 2113 01:51:25,040 --> 01:51:26,640 and the banana came out. 2114 01:51:27,360 --> 01:51:28,320 It shot over. 2115 01:51:28,400 --> 01:51:32,040 I still didn't know what to do. It was getting away from me. 2116 01:51:32,120 --> 01:51:33,520 What do I do? I dove. 2117 01:51:36,000 --> 01:51:38,120 The people there clapped like you all are. 2118 01:51:42,360 --> 01:51:45,440 I felt like one of those couples who work together. 2119 01:51:48,840 --> 01:51:51,520 I was ecstatic. I loved it. 2120 01:51:51,600 --> 01:51:53,680 When the show was over, 2121 01:51:53,760 --> 01:51:56,360 she wrapped herself in a blanket 2122 01:51:56,440 --> 01:51:59,440 and came to have a long chat with me. 2123 01:51:59,520 --> 01:52:02,480 I felt like I had learned some very interesting things. 2124 01:52:02,560 --> 01:52:04,440 I asked her 2125 01:52:04,520 --> 01:52:07,120 how she got those things up in there. 2126 01:52:07,200 --> 01:52:10,520 For real. I asked her, "Where did they go?" 2127 01:52:13,520 --> 01:52:17,240 I didn't want to push it because she was a woman. 2128 01:52:17,320 --> 01:52:19,160 Her answer was simple. 2129 01:52:19,240 --> 01:52:22,040 "It's a skill, Nose. You have to learn it." 2130 01:52:22,120 --> 01:52:23,920 "This here is my aunt." 2131 01:52:24,000 --> 01:52:28,520 "The skill had been passed down through generations in the same village." 2132 01:52:28,600 --> 01:52:30,440 "Not everyone can do it." 2133 01:52:30,520 --> 01:52:32,880 "It's a special skill." 2134 01:52:32,960 --> 01:52:34,520 And I really believe her. 2135 01:52:34,600 --> 01:52:40,360 "Here, take some more money. I really enjoyed it. Thank you so much." 2136 01:52:40,440 --> 01:52:43,600 We said goodbye, and I headed back to Bangkok. 2137 01:52:43,680 --> 01:52:46,760 I went to the office to tell my underlings. 2138 01:52:47,640 --> 01:52:48,600 I bragged hard. 2139 01:52:48,680 --> 01:52:52,280 "I went to see an exotic dance with birds…" 2140 01:52:53,880 --> 01:52:55,760 One of them said, "Nose." 2141 01:52:56,800 --> 01:52:57,840 "Why so far away?" 2142 01:52:59,280 --> 01:53:00,560 "They have that in Pattaya." 2143 01:53:01,320 --> 01:53:05,160 "Nah, Pattaya is all ping-pong shows. I've seen that." 2144 01:53:05,240 --> 01:53:07,880 "This one is better." 2145 01:53:09,640 --> 01:53:10,840 "It's male strippers." 2146 01:53:12,000 --> 01:53:15,880 "They just strip down. Every gay bar has those." 2147 01:53:15,960 --> 01:53:17,080 "It's not the same." 2148 01:53:18,120 --> 01:53:19,640 "I'm telling you." 2149 01:53:20,960 --> 01:53:23,400 "I just went with some friends." 2150 01:53:23,480 --> 01:53:25,200 "Then I took my parents." 2151 01:53:25,280 --> 01:53:26,800 "My mom cried." 2152 01:53:27,320 --> 01:53:29,160 A dutiful child. I like this. 2153 01:53:30,480 --> 01:53:34,360 I didn't take my mother though. I took the staff from the office. 2154 01:53:34,440 --> 01:53:36,320 There were eight of us in a van. 2155 01:53:36,840 --> 01:53:39,400 Eight of us. Four women, four men. 2156 01:53:40,120 --> 01:53:43,360 In my office, we really prioritize this kind of thing. 2157 01:53:44,080 --> 01:53:45,440 Work? Whatever. 2158 01:53:46,240 --> 01:53:47,440 This is what we do. 2159 01:53:48,280 --> 01:53:51,760 We went to Pattaya. The first show was at 9:00 p.m. 2160 01:53:51,840 --> 01:53:53,520 Tickets were 400 baht. 2161 01:53:53,600 --> 01:53:56,080 I wore a mask, but the others didn't. 2162 01:53:56,160 --> 01:53:58,480 No one recognized me. We sat down. 2163 01:53:58,560 --> 01:54:00,720 I knew the best spot was right in front. 2164 01:54:01,560 --> 01:54:03,320 The eight of us sat in a row. 2165 01:54:04,960 --> 01:54:07,040 The show had both male and female performers. 2166 01:54:07,120 --> 01:54:11,280 I'd seen the women before, so I wasn't that excited about them. 2167 01:54:11,360 --> 01:54:13,320 But there was one where she smoked. 2168 01:54:14,000 --> 01:54:16,440 She used her snatch to smoke. 2169 01:54:17,040 --> 01:54:19,240 She smoked two of them. 2170 01:54:19,320 --> 01:54:21,280 Like it was inhaling and exhaling. 2171 01:54:23,440 --> 01:54:25,640 How did she do it? And blow out? 2172 01:54:28,000 --> 01:54:29,240 Where did it come out of? 2173 01:54:30,040 --> 01:54:32,040 I watched the smoke go in and out. 2174 01:54:32,120 --> 01:54:33,480 The balloon darts 2175 01:54:34,040 --> 01:54:36,440 were nothing special. 2176 01:54:36,520 --> 01:54:39,360 I just watched them. Finally, the men were up. 2177 01:54:39,440 --> 01:54:41,240 This was what I've been waiting for. 2178 01:54:42,120 --> 01:54:44,560 The place and the stage was about this big. 2179 01:54:44,640 --> 01:54:46,520 There was a spiral staircase. 2180 01:54:47,200 --> 01:54:49,760 The lighting was dimmer than this. 2181 01:54:50,320 --> 01:54:51,920 It was lit only right here. 2182 01:54:52,000 --> 01:54:53,320 There was the staircase. 2183 01:54:53,400 --> 01:54:56,600 The lighting was glow-in-the-dark. 2184 01:54:56,680 --> 01:54:58,640 White things really popped. 2185 01:54:59,280 --> 01:55:01,640 The first performers were young men. 2186 01:55:01,720 --> 01:55:05,560 They looked rural, like they came from the jungle. 2187 01:55:05,640 --> 01:55:08,280 They had six-packs and sacred tattoos. 2188 01:55:09,520 --> 01:55:13,560 They came down the stairs in just their underwear. 2189 01:55:13,640 --> 01:55:14,880 The music came on. 2190 01:55:16,400 --> 01:55:18,600 They came down slowly. 2191 01:55:19,280 --> 01:55:20,200 Like this. 2192 01:55:21,400 --> 01:55:24,720 The music was as distracting as the junk in their pants. 2193 01:55:32,320 --> 01:55:33,680 There were four of them. 2194 01:55:34,640 --> 01:55:36,840 From afar, I thought, "Fake." 2195 01:55:37,440 --> 01:55:38,320 "Not real." 2196 01:55:39,960 --> 01:55:41,800 They were too long to be real. 2197 01:55:42,520 --> 01:55:43,560 There's no way. 2198 01:55:43,640 --> 01:55:44,600 They walked out. 2199 01:55:44,680 --> 01:55:47,000 The room was dark, but it was glowing somehow. 2200 01:55:47,080 --> 01:55:48,560 It didn't look like his dick. 2201 01:55:49,800 --> 01:55:51,120 It was an arm in a cast. 2202 01:55:53,160 --> 01:55:55,040 How was it bigger than his underwear? 2203 01:55:56,400 --> 01:55:58,920 That's crazy! He walked like… 2204 01:55:59,440 --> 01:56:00,680 I saw it in the dark. 2205 01:56:02,120 --> 01:56:04,480 There was a bulge like this. 2206 01:56:04,560 --> 01:56:06,440 No way. That's bullshit. 2207 01:56:06,520 --> 01:56:08,680 False advertisement to swindle tourists. 2208 01:56:08,760 --> 01:56:11,320 The four of them stood on stage. 2209 01:56:11,400 --> 01:56:13,600 The Four Heavenly Kings. 2210 01:56:13,680 --> 01:56:15,880 They started doing a sexy dance. 2211 01:56:15,960 --> 01:56:18,440 They were fondling themselves. 2212 01:56:18,520 --> 01:56:21,880 One of them lit a handful of candles, 2213 01:56:21,960 --> 01:56:24,080 and he let the wax drip onto him. 2214 01:56:24,160 --> 01:56:26,040 It was all very sexy. Sexy music. 2215 01:56:27,720 --> 01:56:29,160 At the end of this show, 2216 01:56:29,240 --> 01:56:33,960 the eight of us had questions about whether it was real. 2217 01:56:34,040 --> 01:56:36,040 Because it was still in the pants. 2218 01:56:36,120 --> 01:56:38,800 I thought to myself, "No way. That's a dildo." 2219 01:56:38,880 --> 01:56:41,760 They cut it in half and put it over the real one 2220 01:56:41,840 --> 01:56:43,520 as an extra layer. 2221 01:56:43,600 --> 01:56:47,040 That's a cheap trick. Not even worth the show. 2222 01:56:47,120 --> 01:56:50,560 Then more women came out. Whatever. 2223 01:56:50,640 --> 01:56:54,200 Then the second male show came on. 2224 01:56:55,880 --> 01:56:56,720 Music. 2225 01:57:01,440 --> 01:57:02,280 Wait a second. 2226 01:57:03,680 --> 01:57:06,560 He wasn't bare-handed. He had a gallon of water. 2227 01:57:07,560 --> 01:57:10,040 A water gallon of that size is 2228 01:57:10,800 --> 01:57:11,920 about five liters. 2229 01:57:12,640 --> 01:57:13,800 Five heavy liters. 2230 01:57:13,880 --> 01:57:16,200 Can you give me one? You have a gallon? 2231 01:57:16,280 --> 01:57:19,120 I want them to get the idea. He walked down like this. 2232 01:57:19,920 --> 01:57:21,520 Even like this, it's heavy. 2233 01:57:22,400 --> 01:57:25,560 It was really this big. It was this size. 2234 01:57:25,640 --> 01:57:26,520 Music. 2235 01:57:27,840 --> 01:57:29,200 He walked much cooler. 2236 01:57:37,040 --> 01:57:41,280 He started to dance sexy. I didn't know why he brought the water. 2237 01:57:43,800 --> 01:57:45,280 Attached to it, 2238 01:57:45,360 --> 01:57:48,320 there was a rope made of a strip of cloth. 2239 01:57:48,400 --> 01:57:50,040 It came up like this. 2240 01:57:51,320 --> 01:57:52,800 To about here. 2241 01:57:53,480 --> 01:57:55,320 About eight inches. 2242 01:57:55,400 --> 01:57:56,760 He walked up. 2243 01:57:56,840 --> 01:57:59,480 I thought, "What's going on? What's that for?" 2244 01:57:59,560 --> 01:58:03,120 And then he… went over 2245 01:58:03,760 --> 01:58:06,120 to Naew in the audience. 2246 01:58:06,200 --> 01:58:09,120 Naew is the one who gave me the water just now. 2247 01:58:09,800 --> 01:58:10,680 He asked her, 2248 01:58:11,200 --> 01:58:12,920 "Please hang it up." 2249 01:58:15,240 --> 01:58:16,840 "On what?" 2250 01:58:19,120 --> 01:58:20,400 "Here." 2251 01:58:21,080 --> 01:58:23,520 Then he took off his underwear, 2252 01:58:25,000 --> 01:58:27,800 and it almost hit Naew in the chin. 2253 01:58:31,000 --> 01:58:34,320 If she'd been closer, it could have knocked her out. 2254 01:58:35,000 --> 01:58:37,040 It was erected way out like… 2255 01:58:37,120 --> 01:58:38,760 I was like, "Watch out!" 2256 01:58:40,880 --> 01:58:45,360 She turned to me and asked, "Should I do it?" No one answered. 2257 01:58:45,440 --> 01:58:46,400 "I think I should." 2258 01:58:47,640 --> 01:58:51,320 Didn't want an answer because she wanted to try it. 2259 01:58:51,400 --> 01:58:54,160 She put it on like a garland on a politician. 2260 01:58:54,840 --> 01:58:56,000 As she hung it on, 2261 01:58:56,080 --> 01:58:59,200 you'd expect with that weight of five liters of water 2262 01:58:59,280 --> 01:59:01,600 that the water would slide off. 2263 01:59:02,480 --> 01:59:04,320 It didn't, damn it! 2264 01:59:04,920 --> 01:59:07,040 It held firm. And the… 2265 01:59:07,600 --> 01:59:10,920 That gallon of water was still hanging. 2266 01:59:11,000 --> 01:59:13,120 It was off the ground. 2267 01:59:13,200 --> 01:59:15,680 He used… I don't know what to call it. 2268 01:59:15,760 --> 01:59:17,080 "Dick" doesn't seem right. 2269 01:59:18,520 --> 01:59:21,560 There's not enough respect in it. 2270 01:59:21,640 --> 01:59:23,080 Let's keep saying "bick." 2271 01:59:24,200 --> 01:59:26,440 But it wasn't just any bick. 2272 01:59:26,960 --> 01:59:29,880 If most bicks are "Ah," this one was, 2273 01:59:29,960 --> 01:59:30,920 "ARGH!" 2274 01:59:32,440 --> 01:59:33,520 BICK! 2275 01:59:34,200 --> 01:59:36,560 This is a bick! 2276 01:59:37,680 --> 01:59:39,800 If it gets you on the chin, you're out. 2277 01:59:40,480 --> 01:59:44,000 He lifted the water with his bick! 2278 01:59:44,080 --> 01:59:46,960 The whole place cheered, even the bar owner. 2279 01:59:47,040 --> 01:59:49,400 Koreans, Japanese, all these nationalities. 2280 01:59:49,480 --> 01:59:53,880 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Yay! 2281 01:59:53,960 --> 01:59:55,720 He let go, and it fell. 2282 01:59:56,200 --> 01:59:57,840 I mean, wow. 2283 01:59:57,920 --> 02:00:00,920 I felt like I had before… with the bird. 2284 02:00:02,120 --> 02:00:03,640 He lifted that jug with his bick. 2285 02:00:04,920 --> 02:00:08,680 How is this nation so full of such wonder and I'm only just finding out? 2286 02:00:08,760 --> 02:00:10,800 I made it to this age without knowing. 2287 02:00:11,480 --> 02:00:14,160 After that, I assumed the show had peaked. 2288 02:00:14,240 --> 02:00:17,800 Then he said, "Wait, here's my big brother." 2289 02:00:17,880 --> 02:00:20,520 His name was Arty. He was a fair-skinned guy. 2290 02:00:21,040 --> 02:00:24,040 He's from Isan. Sharp teeth. He seemed to love his work. 2291 02:00:24,120 --> 02:00:25,240 He said, "My turn." 2292 02:00:25,760 --> 02:00:27,360 He picked up two gallons. 2293 02:00:29,000 --> 02:00:31,360 These had longer ropes. Two of them. 2294 02:00:32,000 --> 02:00:34,640 He gave them to Bella's wife, Am. 2295 02:00:35,240 --> 02:00:36,840 Her husband was on one side. 2296 02:00:36,920 --> 02:00:38,080 Bella is a big guy. 2297 02:00:38,640 --> 02:00:41,760 If you watched Kao Kon La Kao, he was the MC. 2298 02:00:41,840 --> 02:00:44,160 Am is a very gracious person. 2299 02:00:44,880 --> 02:00:47,400 She doesn't get impatient. 2300 02:00:47,480 --> 02:00:49,360 The guy says, "Please hang them." 2301 02:00:50,040 --> 02:00:50,920 This was Am. 2302 02:00:54,840 --> 02:00:56,280 In the end, she did. 2303 02:00:56,360 --> 02:00:58,920 Arty's was even bigger. 2304 02:01:00,040 --> 02:01:01,600 Once the rope was in place… 2305 02:01:02,200 --> 02:01:03,880 How was it possible? 2306 02:01:03,960 --> 02:01:07,480 He tensed up. He counted one to ten. 2307 02:01:07,560 --> 02:01:09,440 While she was hanging them on, 2308 02:01:09,520 --> 02:01:12,080 Bella's wife looked like this. 2309 02:01:12,160 --> 02:01:14,120 "I don't like it. I shouldn't." 2310 02:01:14,960 --> 02:01:18,400 But after, it was like something had been awakened in her. 2311 02:01:19,560 --> 02:01:20,840 She was prancing. 2312 02:01:22,160 --> 02:01:24,040 Her jaw was hanging wide open. 2313 02:01:24,120 --> 02:01:25,560 She was teary-eyed. 2314 02:01:29,680 --> 02:01:31,600 For the rest of the night. 2315 02:01:32,440 --> 02:01:33,800 I'm not joking. 2316 02:01:35,880 --> 02:01:37,800 He lifted it one… ten. 2317 02:01:37,880 --> 02:01:41,440 Then put it down. We gave him a huge round of applause. 2318 02:01:41,520 --> 02:01:44,680 Other people were amazed. We saw it and had to bow. 2319 02:01:44,760 --> 02:01:49,280 He left the stage with a cowboy hat to collect his tips. 2320 02:01:50,040 --> 02:01:52,160 Okay. We gave him tips, 2321 02:01:53,160 --> 02:01:54,720 but I was still skeptical. 2322 02:01:55,600 --> 02:01:56,960 Was there some sort of brace? 2323 02:01:57,640 --> 02:01:59,640 Was it real? I'd only seen it. 2324 02:02:00,160 --> 02:02:01,400 I hadn't touched it. 2325 02:02:06,680 --> 02:02:09,560 While he was walking the hat around, 2326 02:02:10,240 --> 02:02:11,560 he came down 2327 02:02:11,640 --> 02:02:14,240 and up to passersby and all around. 2328 02:02:14,320 --> 02:02:17,320 Some gave only a little bit. Not many people tipped. 2329 02:02:17,400 --> 02:02:19,600 So he came to us, and we took the opportunity 2330 02:02:20,480 --> 02:02:21,680 to ask if it was real. 2331 02:02:23,000 --> 02:02:24,760 Could you take the water away? 2332 02:02:26,760 --> 02:02:27,920 Okay. 2333 02:02:28,000 --> 02:02:29,080 Try and lift it. 2334 02:02:32,520 --> 02:02:33,920 "Is it real?" 2335 02:02:34,000 --> 02:02:36,000 He was walking around getting his tips. 2336 02:02:36,080 --> 02:02:36,960 "Is it real?" 2337 02:02:37,480 --> 02:02:38,960 He wouldn't say. 2338 02:02:39,720 --> 02:02:43,200 Instead, he came up from behind and used his bick 2339 02:02:44,840 --> 02:02:46,520 to tap us on the back. 2340 02:02:50,440 --> 02:02:52,240 Little taps on our backs. 2341 02:02:53,520 --> 02:02:56,920 Like a neck and shoulder massage from behind. 2342 02:02:58,680 --> 02:02:59,560 This was Naew. 2343 02:03:03,560 --> 02:03:05,200 "I've got a knot." 2344 02:03:10,880 --> 02:03:14,600 Four of them went to work on her 2345 02:03:14,680 --> 02:03:17,600 like this was a regular service for them. 2346 02:03:17,680 --> 02:03:20,640 They tapped the front of her thighs. She screamed. 2347 02:03:20,720 --> 02:03:22,240 She was howling with joy. 2348 02:03:24,600 --> 02:03:25,840 The four finished up. 2349 02:03:25,920 --> 02:03:27,920 We were so happy, we tipped them. 2350 02:03:28,000 --> 02:03:31,280 We tipped about 10,000 that night. 2351 02:03:31,880 --> 02:03:33,000 I ran out of money. 2352 02:03:33,080 --> 02:03:35,600 I had to change my big bills so I could keep going. 2353 02:03:36,160 --> 02:03:38,960 These are special talents. We need to support them. 2354 02:03:39,040 --> 02:03:42,760 I had to borrow more from my staff. "Go get more money. They deserve more." 2355 02:03:42,840 --> 02:03:44,520 "I've never seen anything like it." 2356 02:03:44,600 --> 02:03:47,680 They knew now we were loving it, so they put in the extra effort. 2357 02:03:47,760 --> 02:03:49,400 They focused on us. 2358 02:03:49,480 --> 02:03:51,080 There were four sides. 2359 02:03:51,160 --> 02:03:52,480 They ignored them. 2360 02:03:52,560 --> 02:03:54,520 The Chinese barely tipped them, 2361 02:03:54,600 --> 02:03:56,600 so they kept coming over to us. 2362 02:03:56,680 --> 02:04:01,240 After their performance, more women came on. 2363 02:04:01,320 --> 02:04:04,840 We were leaving because I already had the greatest time of my life. 2364 02:04:04,920 --> 02:04:08,440 It was the best. I was so happy. She said, "Don't leave yet." 2365 02:04:08,960 --> 02:04:10,960 The owner was like, "Don't go yet." 2366 02:04:11,600 --> 02:04:15,840 "Wait for the final act. It's even better." How is that possible? 2367 02:04:17,720 --> 02:04:19,120 So I waited. 2368 02:04:19,200 --> 02:04:21,160 Then it was time for the finale. 2369 02:04:21,240 --> 02:04:22,120 Music came on. 2370 02:04:25,440 --> 02:04:26,920 Four guys came out 2371 02:04:27,600 --> 02:04:29,280 carrying long drums. 2372 02:04:30,040 --> 02:04:30,960 Long drums. 2373 02:04:40,720 --> 02:04:42,720 They carried the short long drums. 2374 02:04:43,760 --> 02:04:45,840 Can you picture it? The short kind. 2375 02:04:45,920 --> 02:04:48,520 There were two drums and four guys. 2376 02:04:48,600 --> 02:04:50,880 We thought they would entertain us. 2377 02:04:51,400 --> 02:04:56,880 We danced and cheered them on like it was a concert. 2378 02:04:57,840 --> 02:04:59,160 They came down. 2379 02:04:59,240 --> 02:05:02,080 One of them asked me to hit the drum. 2380 02:05:02,160 --> 02:05:06,080 They still didn't know it was me. "Give it a hit," he said. So I did. 2381 02:05:06,720 --> 02:05:08,480 It was a leather skin drum. 2382 02:05:08,560 --> 02:05:11,280 It hurt my hand. There was a black dot in the center. 2383 02:05:11,360 --> 02:05:13,080 "Give it a try." 2384 02:05:13,160 --> 02:05:14,160 He handed me a drum. 2385 02:05:15,160 --> 02:05:16,800 Then he gave one to Naew. 2386 02:05:17,320 --> 02:05:18,920 She took it. 2387 02:05:19,520 --> 02:05:22,040 Imagine you're Naew. You're holding it. 2388 02:05:22,120 --> 02:05:23,800 Take it in your hands. 2389 02:05:23,880 --> 02:05:25,480 The batter head was here. 2390 02:05:26,960 --> 02:05:28,800 Then he asked Naew, 2391 02:05:28,880 --> 02:05:29,920 "How many chas?" 2392 02:05:31,080 --> 02:05:32,800 Naew said, "Cha-cha-cha." 2393 02:05:32,880 --> 02:05:35,080 He got into position. 2394 02:05:36,840 --> 02:05:38,080 Took off his pants. 2395 02:05:41,760 --> 02:05:44,480 He used his bick… to hit the drum. 2396 02:05:54,240 --> 02:05:57,440 Naew didn't know how to react. 2397 02:05:57,520 --> 02:05:58,680 She started to dance. 2398 02:06:03,000 --> 02:06:06,400 He said, "Stop it. Don't dance, please." 2399 02:06:06,480 --> 02:06:07,680 "I hit the rim." 2400 02:06:15,160 --> 02:06:17,760 Then the two drums were played together. 2401 02:06:22,880 --> 02:06:24,600 What kind of beat is this? 2402 02:06:27,760 --> 02:06:29,840 I'm telling you. 2403 02:06:29,920 --> 02:06:31,600 I loved it. 2404 02:06:31,680 --> 02:06:34,720 I fell over on my back while he was doing it. 2405 02:06:34,800 --> 02:06:36,520 I was on the ground. 2406 02:06:36,600 --> 02:06:39,280 I was laughing so hard I fell off my chair. 2407 02:06:39,360 --> 02:06:42,160 The drumming was amazing. People thought I had collapsed. 2408 02:06:42,880 --> 02:06:45,280 We went wild for them. 2409 02:06:45,360 --> 02:06:46,920 They drummed and drummed, 2410 02:06:48,000 --> 02:06:49,560 and then we tipped them. 2411 02:06:49,640 --> 02:06:52,120 We gave them so much in tips. 2412 02:06:53,440 --> 02:06:56,240 But I was still dubious. 2413 02:06:56,320 --> 02:06:58,080 I wasn't convinced it was real. 2414 02:06:58,720 --> 02:07:00,200 So when they were done, 2415 02:07:00,800 --> 02:07:02,400 I stood up and said, "Hey, 2416 02:07:03,080 --> 02:07:04,360 can I touch it?" 2417 02:07:05,680 --> 02:07:06,960 I needed to know. 2418 02:07:07,040 --> 02:07:08,800 He didn't hesitate. "Sure." 2419 02:07:12,280 --> 02:07:14,120 He stood like this. "Go for it." 2420 02:07:15,120 --> 02:07:20,800 That moment right there was one of the most memorable of my life. 2421 02:07:21,520 --> 02:07:22,400 I stood up 2422 02:07:23,040 --> 02:07:24,280 and touched his bick. 2423 02:07:26,760 --> 02:07:30,680 Go ahead and stand for a second. You won't have to touch me. 2424 02:07:30,760 --> 02:07:32,400 I want you all to see how it was. 2425 02:07:32,480 --> 02:07:35,920 Stand up. Reach out your hand. Let's pretend. 2426 02:07:36,000 --> 02:07:37,120 Grab it. 2427 02:07:39,040 --> 02:07:41,160 This is what it was like. 2428 02:07:43,600 --> 02:07:45,200 I grabbed it like that, 2429 02:07:46,280 --> 02:07:49,080 then stroked it from base to tip. 2430 02:07:49,160 --> 02:07:52,720 I gave it a squeeze. I wanted to know if it was a fake. 2431 02:07:52,800 --> 02:07:55,960 Did they inject something? Was it a special effect? 2432 02:07:56,040 --> 02:07:58,520 But no, it was completely real. 2433 02:07:58,600 --> 02:08:02,160 I exclaimed, "Wow. This is what they call a real anaconda." 2434 02:08:06,240 --> 02:08:08,000 It was a handful. 2435 02:08:08,080 --> 02:08:10,160 I don't know what to call it. 2436 02:08:10,240 --> 02:08:13,680 It was like sticky rice stuffed bamboo from Nong Mon. 2437 02:08:14,880 --> 02:08:16,440 Or pork sausage from Ubon. 2438 02:08:16,520 --> 02:08:18,000 What do I call it? 2439 02:08:18,080 --> 02:08:22,720 And I was so mesmerized that I went into a trance. 2440 02:08:22,800 --> 02:08:24,800 So I talked to him with it in my hand. 2441 02:08:25,920 --> 02:08:28,280 "Where are you from?" 2442 02:08:29,240 --> 02:08:31,760 "Sa Kaeo, huh?" 2443 02:08:32,760 --> 02:08:36,520 "Has it always been this big?" 2444 02:08:36,600 --> 02:08:38,160 He told me, 2445 02:08:38,240 --> 02:08:41,320 "I mean, I've never tried to make it bigger." 2446 02:08:42,000 --> 02:08:45,880 "It's a defective trait I've had since birth." What a show-off. 2447 02:08:45,960 --> 02:08:47,920 I wish I was defective like that. 2448 02:08:49,000 --> 02:08:51,880 "Really? I'll say this from the heart." 2449 02:08:51,960 --> 02:08:53,600 "It was nice to meet you." 2450 02:08:55,720 --> 02:08:56,760 For real. 2451 02:08:58,200 --> 02:09:03,280 You know when you meet a foreigner, and you give them a firm handshake? 2452 02:09:03,360 --> 02:09:04,920 But I shook his dick. 2453 02:09:09,760 --> 02:09:12,920 I gave it a good squeeze. "Dang. You're amazing." 2454 02:09:13,000 --> 02:09:15,640 "How is it so firm?" 2455 02:09:15,720 --> 02:09:18,680 "I have a special technique, 2456 02:09:19,200 --> 02:09:20,720 but it's a secret." 2457 02:09:20,800 --> 02:09:24,720 We were talking like this. "How about him? Where is he from?" 2458 02:09:24,800 --> 02:09:27,200 One was from Bueng Kan. 2459 02:09:27,280 --> 02:09:29,080 Another from Savannakhet, from Laos. 2460 02:09:29,160 --> 02:09:30,840 I grabbed each of their mics 2461 02:09:31,640 --> 02:09:33,760 while I talked to them. 2462 02:09:33,840 --> 02:09:36,960 We had a good, long talk. 2463 02:09:37,520 --> 02:09:41,360 After we were done talking, we parted ways. 2464 02:09:42,040 --> 02:09:46,560 I was so impressed and fascinated. 2465 02:09:47,200 --> 02:09:50,320 I have to confess, and I'll have this edited out, 2466 02:09:51,120 --> 02:09:55,480 I went back to my hotel, thinking to myself the whole time, 2467 02:09:56,960 --> 02:09:58,200 "It can't be hard." 2468 02:10:03,960 --> 02:10:05,440 It was almost midnight. 2469 02:10:05,960 --> 02:10:09,240 I'd gone to get some khao tom after the show and got back. 2470 02:10:09,320 --> 02:10:11,080 So then I showered. 2471 02:10:11,600 --> 02:10:13,920 I stood in front of a huge mirror in the hotel. 2472 02:10:15,560 --> 02:10:17,280 First, I tried my glasses. 2473 02:10:20,440 --> 02:10:21,440 This one here. 2474 02:10:29,880 --> 02:10:31,560 You look sleepy. I'll stand here. 2475 02:10:35,280 --> 02:10:36,120 Jeez. 2476 02:10:38,000 --> 02:10:40,200 As soon as I hung it, it fell. 2477 02:10:41,080 --> 02:10:44,080 The arms nearly broke. I only have the one pair. 2478 02:10:44,160 --> 02:10:46,360 My lenses almost shattered. It hit the floor. 2479 02:10:46,440 --> 02:10:49,800 Shit. Oh, maybe it slid off because of the strap. 2480 02:10:51,000 --> 02:10:53,040 I bought Yakult that late afternoon. 2481 02:10:53,760 --> 02:10:56,760 I should start there. I pulled them out of the fridge. 2482 02:10:58,160 --> 02:11:00,040 I'll hang those on. 2483 02:11:01,320 --> 02:11:02,720 I tried two small bottles. 2484 02:11:07,680 --> 02:11:08,520 Jeez. 2485 02:11:10,080 --> 02:11:11,120 Still too heavy? 2486 02:11:12,040 --> 02:11:13,840 Oh, I need to empty them first. 2487 02:11:16,080 --> 02:11:17,280 I drank all of it. 2488 02:11:20,160 --> 02:11:22,000 Only the bottles and foil were left. 2489 02:11:23,960 --> 02:11:25,400 It still won't work. 2490 02:11:26,960 --> 02:11:28,720 You know what I did manage? 2491 02:11:29,600 --> 02:11:30,840 The foil lids. 2492 02:11:32,000 --> 02:11:35,600 I rolled them into semicircles. This I could do. 2493 02:11:39,320 --> 02:11:40,520 That whole event 2494 02:11:41,600 --> 02:11:44,760 has ruined the lives of the husbands of all the attendees. 2495 02:11:45,600 --> 02:11:46,560 Done. 2496 02:11:46,640 --> 02:11:49,000 We were knocked down to size. 2497 02:11:49,080 --> 02:11:51,680 You remember chubby Bella? 2498 02:11:52,200 --> 02:11:55,720 Before the show, he was the only man in his wife's life. 2499 02:11:55,800 --> 02:11:57,560 Then she came across something… 2500 02:12:02,000 --> 02:12:03,880 something better. 2501 02:12:04,520 --> 02:12:08,360 Now he's always complaining to me. "Since you took us to that damn show, 2502 02:12:08,440 --> 02:12:09,720 when we shower, 2503 02:12:10,280 --> 02:12:13,280 and she sees me naked, you know what she does?" 2504 02:12:13,360 --> 02:12:14,200 "Coo." 2505 02:12:15,480 --> 02:12:16,320 "Coo." 2506 02:12:18,400 --> 02:12:21,200 "Like adults do when they see a child naked." 2507 02:12:22,480 --> 02:12:24,440 "That's what she does to me. Coo." 2508 02:12:27,760 --> 02:12:30,760 I feel like this is a special talent. 2509 02:12:31,800 --> 02:12:35,480 They had said they had to hide a bar like that, 2510 02:12:35,560 --> 02:12:38,760 or now and then the police would come shut it down. 2511 02:12:38,840 --> 02:12:40,480 I thought, "Why, damn it?" 2512 02:12:40,560 --> 02:12:43,160 These are special and unique talents. 2513 02:12:43,240 --> 02:12:44,680 They have value. 2514 02:12:45,400 --> 02:12:47,240 Being able to use your dick 2515 02:12:47,320 --> 02:12:50,000 or your snatch this effectively 2516 02:12:50,080 --> 02:12:52,800 is no different from an English footballer 2517 02:12:52,880 --> 02:12:56,040 juggling a ball while walking 48 kilometers. 2518 02:12:56,120 --> 02:12:58,280 That's a skill of the head, right? 2519 02:12:58,880 --> 02:13:01,280 A Danish diver, with just one breath, 2520 02:13:02,040 --> 02:13:05,200 descends 202 meters and breaks the world record. 2521 02:13:05,280 --> 02:13:06,880 He has skillful lungs. 2522 02:13:06,960 --> 02:13:09,640 An American stops fan blades with her tongue. 2523 02:13:09,720 --> 02:13:12,240 In one minute, she removed the front of the fan 2524 02:13:13,280 --> 02:13:14,520 and stopped it. 2525 02:13:14,600 --> 02:13:16,040 With her tongue. 2526 02:13:16,120 --> 02:13:20,080 She went back and forth, stopping it 35 times in a minute. 2527 02:13:20,160 --> 02:13:23,040 She was using her talents. 2528 02:13:23,120 --> 02:13:26,800 If you've got a big bick, go ahead and beat a drum with it. 2529 02:13:27,440 --> 02:13:29,400 Or shoot birds out of your snatch. 2530 02:13:30,760 --> 02:13:34,760 Birds, turtles, fish. 2531 02:13:34,840 --> 02:13:36,520 Like the ultimate animal sanctuary. 2532 02:13:41,480 --> 02:13:45,880 I feel like the government needs to support it instead of hiding it away. 2533 02:13:45,960 --> 02:13:47,960 Don't be so prissy. 2534 02:13:48,040 --> 02:13:52,000 They need to support it and teach it. 2535 02:13:52,080 --> 02:13:56,080 Do it like with Thai massage. This is super soft power. 2536 02:13:56,160 --> 02:13:59,280 It's not soft power. It's super soft power. 2537 02:14:00,000 --> 02:14:03,920 It's the soft power of your soft bits. 2538 02:14:04,680 --> 02:14:06,520 Pass it on, 2539 02:14:06,600 --> 02:14:10,880 so people will know what all a coochy can do. 2540 02:14:10,960 --> 02:14:12,280 How it's like a warehouse. 2541 02:14:15,360 --> 02:14:18,360 The Alcazar and Tiffany shows could do more than lip-syncing. 2542 02:14:18,440 --> 02:14:20,600 All they do is lip-sync and joke. 2543 02:14:20,680 --> 02:14:22,760 They're already doing the surgery. 2544 02:14:23,320 --> 02:14:25,080 Might as well add more space 2545 02:14:25,160 --> 02:14:26,840 for other animals. 2546 02:14:26,920 --> 02:14:29,600 It shouldn't stop with birds. There should be crocodiles. 2547 02:14:30,240 --> 02:14:33,160 Foreigners love crocodiles. Or pufferfish. 2548 02:14:33,240 --> 02:14:35,440 Pufferfish are cute when scared. 2549 02:14:36,200 --> 02:14:40,640 Maybe we keep the lineup secret on some days. Make it a surprise. 2550 02:14:42,120 --> 02:14:44,160 Crybaby or someone comes out. 2551 02:14:44,240 --> 02:14:46,280 You could promote that. 2552 02:14:46,360 --> 02:14:48,760 And why stop at beating drums? 2553 02:14:48,840 --> 02:14:51,400 There are so many musical instruments out there. 2554 02:14:52,240 --> 02:14:55,760 What about a Thai xylophone? They can hug each other's necks? 2555 02:15:18,480 --> 02:15:21,800 Let's compete with the American and stop fans with our bicks. 2556 02:15:26,120 --> 02:15:29,240 This should be supported, not hidden away. 2557 02:15:30,080 --> 02:15:32,080 The tourism authority could promote it. 2558 02:15:32,160 --> 02:15:36,800 No need to blow hundreds of millions hiring a famous actor to be the face. 2559 02:15:36,880 --> 02:15:38,800 Just make TikToks. It's easy. 2560 02:15:38,880 --> 02:15:42,360 Invite people to come see. This is super soft power. 2561 02:15:43,120 --> 02:15:44,840 Take these ideas. I don't mind. 2562 02:15:45,360 --> 02:15:48,520 Have the people in Pattaya or Phuket say… 2563 02:15:51,360 --> 02:15:52,280 Make sense? 2564 02:15:52,360 --> 02:15:56,120 "Hello, welcome. Now show. No charge. Four hundred baht beer." 2565 02:15:57,120 --> 02:16:01,080 "Have show. Have pleasure. Have joy. Have fun. Have energy." 2566 02:16:01,160 --> 02:16:05,480 "Have girl power. Have fish. Have turtles." 2567 02:16:05,560 --> 02:16:08,760 "Have birds. Have crocodiles." 2568 02:16:08,840 --> 02:16:10,160 "Maybe pufferfish." 2569 02:16:10,800 --> 02:16:14,760 "Ping-pong, balloons, smoking, bananas." 2570 02:16:17,120 --> 02:16:19,480 "Have good Superman." 2571 02:16:19,560 --> 02:16:23,160 "Good Superman. Good shake hands. And you can shake dick." 2572 02:16:28,520 --> 02:16:30,400 "Giant dick playing the cha-cha-cha." 2573 02:16:30,480 --> 02:16:32,520 "Giant dick lifting water jugs." 2574 02:16:32,600 --> 02:16:35,680 "Giant dick giving massages. Giant dick superstar." 2575 02:16:35,760 --> 02:16:39,120 "Giant dick giving massages. Our giant dick never dies." 2576 02:16:39,200 --> 02:16:40,920 "Our giant dick is freestyle." 2577 02:16:42,880 --> 02:16:45,520 "Do the poor have rights?" 2578 02:16:45,600 --> 02:16:46,800 "But we've got dick." 2579 02:16:46,880 --> 02:16:48,720 "But we've got snatches." 2580 02:16:48,800 --> 02:16:51,520 "Let it happen, Thailand. Flip the panty switch." 2581 02:16:51,600 --> 02:16:57,640 "For Thai people to live comfortably, let's all stop our bullshitting now!" 2582 02:16:58,840 --> 02:17:00,920 Get home safely! 2583 02:17:01,880 --> 02:17:03,600 Get home safely! 2584 02:17:34,800 --> 02:17:39,120 Wake up! Thank you!