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Hello, and welcome back
to Dueling Pencils,
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00:00:11,578 --> 00:00:14,872
the only podcast where one
story always has two sides.
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00:00:14,873 --> 00:00:18,960
Today, filling in for my usual
co-host is Esmeralda Grand,
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00:00:18,961 --> 00:00:21,003
editor of TTT Online.
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Thank you, Ned. [screaming]
Ciao, Toledo, I love you.
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Today's topic is fragrances.
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Are they a must
or are they a bust?
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Let's find out.
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I say if I can smell you
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before I can see you,
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you're making a big mistake.
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Same. Agree. Good point, Ned.
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You're also welcome
to offer a counterpoint.
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Oh, I thought because
they were both pencils...
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No, they're dueling pencils.
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Of course they're doodling,
they're pencils.
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Not doodling, dueling pencils.
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- What's "dueling"?
- Dueling is fighting.
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Your people invented it.
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Did you listen to the episodes
that I sent you?
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Or read the name of the podcast?
It's on the mug.
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Why not call it "Pen and
Pencil"? Those are opposites.
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Just disagree with me.
I say, "Fragrances are bad."
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- You say...
- Fragrances are good
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and you smell like shit.
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I win. Next topic.
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Welcome to Dueling Pencils.
My usual co-host is out today,
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so I am joined by local
radio legend, Salty Peanuts.
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It's Salty Peanuts,
WBRT, the Bert.
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We're not on that right now.
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Fragrances is the topic
of the day,
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and Salty, I don't like 'em.
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Yeah, fragrances, you know what,
fragrances and rights.
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Women have too many
of both of them, eh?
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These opinions, by the way,
are mine alone,
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and are not shared by
WBRT, the Bert.
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Ned: You're an awful person.
- I know.
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I know.
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Welcome to Dueling Pencil.
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I am your host Ned Sampson,
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and today's topic is:
fragrances.
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Listener, I don't like 'em.
But also, I get it.
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[sighs]
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{\an8}[The Scrantone's "Song From The
Ninth Floor" playing]
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Ned: I haven't felt great
the last two weeks.
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00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:24,627
I'm not sure what it is.
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[sneezes]
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{\an8}Might be connected to
the flu shot
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{\an8}that Ann made us all get
to protect Marv.
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{\an8}I mean, I'll feel bad
if that's what it is
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00:02:32,636 --> 00:02:35,638
{\an8}because it seems
kind of anti-vaxx.
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{\an8}My body is usually
very pro-science.
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A parasite
from the cat that I got
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00:02:41,228 --> 00:02:43,562
to make my apartment feel
less lonely. [blows nose]
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That's been
the worst part, though.
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Everyone in the office
finding out about me and Mare
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at the same time we broke up.
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- How long have you been there?
- As long as you need me.
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- You're gonna get through this.
Adelola: Father God,
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I just commit Ned Sampson
in your hands.
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[laughing] No.
I'm not praying for him.
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He just patted me
on the back yesterday,
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and I hate that,
so this is payback.
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Okay. You're good.
And you will get through this.
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You are strong.
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Mare: Yeah, the rumors
died down. Which is nice.
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Except for the Joe Burrow one,
but I don't really mind that.
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It's been okay.
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Yeah,
I talked to Ned a week ago?
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Week and a half?
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Um...
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So I've been working with Todd
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on this big investigative story
that should be front page,
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so it's kind of hard to think
about anything else.
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You know,
I think it's for the best.
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Things were just getting
so weird.
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[chuckles]
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Ooh! Look at you
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handing off files
like a little badass.
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It's just paperwork.
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I bet you could lift
so much paper.
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[H.R. Lisa giggles]
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It's 8:45 in the morning.
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I'm so bad.
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Detrick.
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Detrick:
I see. Everyone sees.
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00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:10,250
[H.R. Lisa giggles]
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These last couple of weeks
have been incredible.
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Ned and I,
we've been going really hard
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on this Glass Club
railing story.
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Ned: Oh, yeah,
Detrick's kicking butt.
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00:04:18,784 --> 00:04:21,952
We show the final draft
to the lawyers today
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00:04:21,953 --> 00:04:23,412
and then it hits the stands.
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Turns out, Desmond Sandoval
was serving tables
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00:04:26,583 --> 00:04:28,000
on the day of the tornado.
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00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:30,669
But it wasn't a tornado
or murder that got him.
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A gust of wind grabbed a napkin
from his tray,
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- threw it off the roof.
- [blows]
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00:04:34,716 --> 00:04:36,592
- He chased it and fell...
- [clatters]
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00:04:36,593 --> 00:04:38,594
...because the railing
was too low.
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Ned said
it was better than murder.
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He said it was
pervasive bribery
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00:04:41,932 --> 00:04:43,974
in the City Building
Inspection Department.
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And that's our story.
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- [H.R. Lisa laughs]
- Okay, stop it. Stop it.
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- [elevator dings]
- [humming]
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Nicole. Everything okay?
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Mm-hmm! [laughs,
continues humming]
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Barry: I don't know
who New Cole is...
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Phew...
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00:05:04,579 --> 00:05:06,789
But she is a contender.
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Esmeralda: I recently
started a relationship
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with one of the wealthiest
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and most powerful men
in Toledo, Dustin Bonacker.
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It's not romantic yet.
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And so the hours are
from 7 p.m. to midnight,
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turning down his bed,
giving him a bath.
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And the best part
is that I can bring Matteo.
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And he has a nice, quiet place
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where he can have dinner
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and do his homework
in the laundry room.
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Travis: Hey.
- Hey.
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Can we talk about what happened
during the tornado?
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{\an8}Travis: Sorry. Sorry.
Adelola: It's okay.
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It's okay. It's okay.
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00:05:45,996 --> 00:05:48,038
I don't think
we need to talk about it.
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- Like never--?
- I don't think we ever
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need to talk about it.
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- Never.
- Never.
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- Okay. All right.
- Okay then. Mm-hmm.
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[keyboard clacking]
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Shit.
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That's ridiculous.
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00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:06,032
Matteo got a C-minus in math.
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There is so much unfairness
to boys in the school system.
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I think I need to do
an Esmeralda Undercover
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about this horrible
social problem.
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[laptop snaps shut,
keys rattle]
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Oscar:
Oh. Esmeralda Undercover.
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[laughs] Every now and then,
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Esmeralda likes
to put on a disguise
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to expose prejudice
of various kinds.
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She first tried one
about weight discrimination.
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Everyone should be able to play.
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00:06:32,959 --> 00:06:34,728
Slides are for everyone.
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- [fat suit squeaks on slide]
- [grunts]
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See? Fat-phobic architecture.
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Then she took on the plight
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00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:44,303
of the unattractive man
in the dating world.
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Hello, girls, I'm Frank.
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- Just because...
- [chair scrapes]
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...I'm not Marlon Brando,
what should I do?
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Hide in a hole and die?
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Why are you pointing
your deodorant at me?
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Needless to say, these pieces
were never published.
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She has a new one,
and I'm very excited.
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All right, class, uh...
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I don't completely understand
the situation,
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00:07:08,912 --> 00:07:13,624
but Principal Bourla says that
a man named Dustin Bonacker
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has offered
a financial donation
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if we host a special visitor
to our classroom this afternoon.
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It seems
a confused woman believes
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that she's a boy your age.
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So I expect all of you
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- to behave with your usual...
- [sighs]
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...politeness and kindness.
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- Okay.
- Yo, bros.
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- Hello.
- Oh, God.
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I'm Jayden. I'm transferring in
from another school.
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Moving sucks, right? No cap.
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I hope I'll be treated fairly,
even if I'm a boy.
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I hope so too.
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- Can I sit next to you, man?
- Please, no.
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[chair rattles]
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I appreciate you, man.
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Ned: Wait, wait,
that's your legal advice?
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What do you mean we have to cut
the parts about the Glass Club?
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The headline is "Glass Club
Bribes City Inspectors."
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What should we change that to?
"No One Bribes City Inspectors"?
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- That would work. Perfect.
Ned: That would not make sen--
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I'm mocking you. Tell him.
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- He's mocking you, Dante, Jesus.
- No, I see that now.
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00:08:15,103 --> 00:08:19,106
The thing is, Marv, that you
told the Glass Club in an email
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that TTT would write no
hostile stories about them
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in order to ensure
their continued advertising,
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and that could be viewed
as an implied contract.
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That was to do with
my misguided crusade, okay?
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This is to do with
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00:08:30,994 --> 00:08:33,037
our correctly guided
crime reporting.
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But it doesn't matter.
A promise is a promise
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00:08:35,206 --> 00:08:36,957
and you made them a promise.
In writing.
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It's an implied contract.
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But an implied contract
has the same legal strength.
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Marv:
You know what, Dante,
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00:08:42,464 --> 00:08:44,173
stick to toilet paper.
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00:08:44,174 --> 00:08:45,841
Landlord:
You get one parking space...
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- [cell phone dings, buzzes]
- ...that's uncovered,
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00:08:47,510 --> 00:08:48,677
- in the front...
- Sorry.
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00:08:48,678 --> 00:08:50,054
...and it comes with
in-unit laundry.
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00:08:50,055 --> 00:08:50,954
No need for coins.
201
00:08:50,955 --> 00:08:53,265
Uh, the laundromat's
a little sketchy.
202
00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:55,100
I am literally outraged.
203
00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:57,936
We made so many sacrifices
to get the truth out there.
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00:08:57,937 --> 00:09:00,773
My best reporter was sent
to another city.
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00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:02,858
This is-- It's so hot in here.
Are you hot?
206
00:09:02,859 --> 00:09:05,027
Nice job, Dante.
You worried the man sick.
207
00:09:05,028 --> 00:09:07,404
No, I didn't. I did
absolutely nothing of the kind.
208
00:09:07,405 --> 00:09:11,033
Listen to your tone. You deliver
bad news with such zeal.
209
00:09:11,034 --> 00:09:12,701
Dante: Oh! Oh, no! Ooh!
- Oh!
210
00:09:12,702 --> 00:09:13,869
Marv:
Call an ambulance.
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00:09:13,870 --> 00:09:15,370
- Ned. Elevate his legs.
Dante: Oh! Uh...
212
00:09:15,371 --> 00:09:17,122
Dante: That doesn't look good.
I wouldn't touch him
213
00:09:17,123 --> 00:09:18,266
- if I were you.
- [Ned grunts]
214
00:09:21,419 --> 00:09:23,754
- [sighs] Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
215
00:09:23,755 --> 00:09:25,648
[voice on PA
speaking indistinctly]
216
00:09:27,092 --> 00:09:28,425
- [sighs] Hey.
Ned: Hey.
217
00:09:28,426 --> 00:09:30,469
Mare: I came as soon
as I got your call.
218
00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:32,304
Ned: I don't know
what's going on here,
219
00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:33,639
but if it's the worst,
220
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:34,932
I want you to write
my obituary.
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00:09:34,933 --> 00:09:36,201
Ned, what's happening?
222
00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:38,852
Whoa. [sighs]
223
00:09:38,853 --> 00:09:40,771
- I know.
- What's going on?
224
00:09:40,772 --> 00:09:43,666
They don't know.
They think it might be my heart.
225
00:09:54,285 --> 00:09:56,912
I just-- I'm so sorry
that we had a fight.
226
00:09:56,913 --> 00:09:58,038
That was all my fault.
227
00:09:58,039 --> 00:09:59,373
Everything was all my fault,
228
00:09:59,374 --> 00:10:01,458
and I'm just so happy...
[breathes deeply]
229
00:10:01,459 --> 00:10:03,710
...that I get to die
looking at your face.
230
00:10:03,711 --> 00:10:05,254
- Don't talk like that.
- Listen to me.
231
00:10:05,255 --> 00:10:07,923
If I come back
as somebody else,
232
00:10:07,924 --> 00:10:09,925
- I will come and find you, okay?
- Okay.
233
00:10:09,926 --> 00:10:12,302
If you get a call
from a college-aged guy
234
00:10:12,303 --> 00:10:14,763
when you're in your fifties,
take the call.
235
00:10:14,764 --> 00:10:16,682
- Ned...
- Answer all your calls.
236
00:10:16,683 --> 00:10:18,684
Okay. Let's just focus
237
00:10:18,685 --> 00:10:20,435
- on getting you better.
Ned: Mm-hmm.
238
00:10:20,436 --> 00:10:21,979
God, I can't believe
the timing on this.
239
00:10:21,980 --> 00:10:24,481
I was just about to sign
a six-month lease.
240
00:10:24,482 --> 00:10:25,667
Really?
241
00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:28,277
But you won't now?
242
00:10:28,278 --> 00:10:31,113
- Mr. Sampson?
- Oh... Yes, Doctor.
243
00:10:31,114 --> 00:10:33,615
Glad you're awake.
As we suspected,
244
00:10:33,616 --> 00:10:36,743
tests confirm
exposure to toxic mold.
245
00:10:36,744 --> 00:10:39,163
Ned. Jesus.
246
00:10:39,164 --> 00:10:41,748
No, no.
Just a simple allergy to mold.
247
00:10:41,749 --> 00:10:45,169
I see you're responding well
to the medication we gave you.
248
00:10:45,170 --> 00:10:47,713
Um, Doctor,
what meds is he on?
249
00:10:47,714 --> 00:10:48,714
Benadryl.
250
00:10:48,715 --> 00:10:50,007
- Oh...
- Oh...
251
00:10:50,008 --> 00:10:52,384
We're sure it's not
a heart blockage?
252
00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:54,094
I think there was
some talk of that.
253
00:10:54,095 --> 00:10:56,180
No, no,
that was just from you.
254
00:10:56,181 --> 00:10:57,156
Ned:
Oh.
255
00:10:59,434 --> 00:11:02,519
Hey, Ned, I-I think I found
what was making you sick.
256
00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:04,688
- Oh.
- Nurse?
257
00:11:04,689 --> 00:11:06,190
- Smells kind of funky.
258
00:11:06,191 --> 00:11:07,524
Doctor: Ooh.
- [nurse sighs]
259
00:11:07,525 --> 00:11:09,377
- My God.
doctor: Thank you.
260
00:11:14,449 --> 00:11:16,384
[wrapping crinkling]
261
00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:21,788
Doctor: Hm...
- [socffs]
262
00:11:21,789 --> 00:11:23,373
Doctor:
What was it, I wonder.
263
00:11:23,374 --> 00:11:25,918
It was a blueberry muffin
from The Granary.
264
00:11:25,919 --> 00:11:27,711
It's a present
I left on your desk.
265
00:11:27,712 --> 00:11:29,314
Monday after the awards.
266
00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:34,384
Doctor:
Ah. Yep, mold.
267
00:11:34,385 --> 00:11:35,510
Ned:
Oh.
268
00:11:35,511 --> 00:11:38,305
- With a cute note.
- Right.
269
00:11:38,306 --> 00:11:40,408
- What did it say?
- Doesn't matter.
270
00:11:46,856 --> 00:11:48,315
What's this for?
271
00:11:48,316 --> 00:11:50,752
I'm not supposed
to talk about it.
272
00:11:54,739 --> 00:11:56,031
[Travis clears throat]
273
00:11:56,032 --> 00:11:58,092
[Adelola clears throat, sighs]
274
00:11:59,202 --> 00:12:01,745
So, when you have, like,
what you have,
275
00:12:01,746 --> 00:12:03,247
are you allowed
to drive yourself?
276
00:12:03,248 --> 00:12:06,124
No, of course not.
I'm not 16. Yet.
277
00:12:06,125 --> 00:12:09,795
In the place where you live,
are there other people like you?
278
00:12:09,796 --> 00:12:12,673
Oh, you're asking
if I have a bro-bro?
279
00:12:12,674 --> 00:12:15,259
Yeah, he just turned 47.
280
00:12:15,260 --> 00:12:18,428
He's cool, I guess.
We could be closer.
281
00:12:18,429 --> 00:12:19,846
Do you drink beer?
282
00:12:19,847 --> 00:12:22,516
Of course not,
I'm a woman. I drink wine.
283
00:12:22,517 --> 00:12:26,270
Yeah, no, I-I drink juice.
I'm a kid, you know?
284
00:12:26,271 --> 00:12:27,070
[straw slurps]
285
00:12:27,071 --> 00:12:29,982
Guys, we all drink juice.
Dudes.
286
00:12:29,983 --> 00:12:31,733
Let me get this straight.
287
00:12:31,734 --> 00:12:33,193
- I left you a gift...
- Mm-hmm.
288
00:12:33,194 --> 00:12:34,778
- ...on your desk...
- Mm-hmm.
289
00:12:34,779 --> 00:12:38,407
...that you never opened,
then obviously forgot about.
290
00:12:38,408 --> 00:12:40,367
Because you don't want anyone
to know I was your girlfriend?
291
00:12:40,368 --> 00:12:42,995
- I intended to open it.
- Who does that?
292
00:12:42,996 --> 00:12:44,871
To be fair, it was behind
some stuff on a shelf.
293
00:12:44,872 --> 00:12:46,081
- Detrick...
- Very easy to miss.
294
00:12:46,082 --> 00:12:47,541
Do not defend him right now.
295
00:12:47,542 --> 00:12:49,459
- Thank you, Detrick.
- This is all you, Ned, okay.
296
00:12:49,460 --> 00:12:51,211
This, this is
the mold of indecision.
297
00:12:51,212 --> 00:12:53,714
Ned [stammers]: That is
very well put, but I disagree.
298
00:12:53,715 --> 00:12:55,257
It is the mold of restraint.
299
00:12:55,258 --> 00:12:56,842
- That's a noble mold.
- Restraint?
300
00:12:56,843 --> 00:12:59,428
You were just worrying how
dating me would make you look.
301
00:12:59,429 --> 00:13:01,096
Just admit it.
- No, I was worried about
302
00:13:01,097 --> 00:13:02,973
how dating me
would make you look.
303
00:13:02,974 --> 00:13:05,434
- What?
- I've dated plenty of nurses.
304
00:13:05,435 --> 00:13:07,102
- It always works out.
- [nurse scoffs]
305
00:13:07,103 --> 00:13:09,479
- Thank you.
- Jesus Christ.
306
00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:10,714
If I was important to you,
307
00:13:10,715 --> 00:13:14,002
you would've opened my gift
that day instead of ignoring me.
308
00:13:15,945 --> 00:13:17,779
All right, give me the muffin.
309
00:13:17,780 --> 00:13:18,864
Mare: No, Ned.
Doctor: No. Sir, no.
310
00:13:18,865 --> 00:13:20,198
Ned:
Step back! Step back!
311
00:13:20,199 --> 00:13:21,658
Mare: Don't eat the muffin.
Don't eat--
312
00:13:21,659 --> 00:13:22,659
Ned:
I'm happy to eat it.
313
00:13:22,660 --> 00:13:23,910
I'm happy to eat the muffin.
314
00:13:23,911 --> 00:13:25,162
Mare:
Don't eat it now. Don't eat it.
315
00:13:25,163 --> 00:13:26,413
- No. [screams] Ned!
- [all scream]
316
00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:28,206
- Oh, that is awful.
Detrick: Stop!
317
00:13:28,207 --> 00:13:31,084
- You're being an asshole.
- Ned, you're insane.
318
00:13:31,085 --> 00:13:32,544
- Just cough it up.
Detrick: Put two fingers in.
319
00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:34,087
Doctor [sighs]:
There we go, there we go.
320
00:13:34,088 --> 00:13:35,339
[sighs] My jaws are weak.
321
00:13:35,340 --> 00:13:37,299
What did you put
in that Benadryl?
322
00:13:37,300 --> 00:13:38,675
Yo, bros.
323
00:13:38,676 --> 00:13:40,177
Tell me about the teacher.
324
00:13:40,178 --> 00:13:43,305
I'm just asking as a kid,
not some dumb journalist.
325
00:13:43,306 --> 00:13:45,766
Is she unfair to all boys?
326
00:13:45,767 --> 00:13:48,119
Or just that squirt
with a big head?
327
00:13:49,270 --> 00:13:52,689
Hey, guys, sorry my mom's nuts.
328
00:13:52,690 --> 00:13:57,569
Your mom's not nuts,
she just has problems, you know?
329
00:13:57,570 --> 00:13:59,279
Matteo: One second.
Esmeralda [sighs]: Bullshit.
330
00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:00,697
Just trying to stop this.
331
00:14:00,698 --> 00:14:02,699
That's bullshit, man. [sighs]
332
00:14:02,700 --> 00:14:04,368
Hey, Mom? Mom.
333
00:14:04,369 --> 00:14:07,496
Maybe you could just
chill out a little bit?
334
00:14:07,497 --> 00:14:08,997
Esmeralda:
Who are you, huh?
335
00:14:08,998 --> 00:14:11,291
You can't call
another boy "Mom"...
336
00:14:11,292 --> 00:14:13,710
- Stop pushing me.
- ...and not get pounded.
337
00:14:13,711 --> 00:14:15,212
- Stop.
- He calls the mom.
338
00:14:15,213 --> 00:14:18,840
- Hey, Jayden. Chill out.
- Do you miss your mom so much?
339
00:14:18,841 --> 00:14:20,884
- You little punk. You little...
- Son.
340
00:14:20,885 --> 00:14:22,177
- [whistle tweeting]
- Enough.
341
00:14:22,178 --> 00:14:23,804
Oscar: Okay...
Matteo: Stop!
342
00:14:23,805 --> 00:14:25,806
You're the one who volunteered
to move to a different city.
343
00:14:25,807 --> 00:14:28,975
Oh, come on. That was something
I blurted out in the moment.
344
00:14:28,976 --> 00:14:31,061
You're the one
whose thoughtlessness
345
00:14:31,062 --> 00:14:33,289
has literally
hospitalized you.
346
00:14:34,323 --> 00:14:37,192
All right, look, I didn't forget
about your gift...
347
00:14:37,193 --> 00:14:39,694
- Then what?
- ...or not care about it, okay?
348
00:14:39,695 --> 00:14:41,655
I was saving it.
349
00:14:41,656 --> 00:14:43,091
Until I really earned it.
350
00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:45,534
It was gonna be my reward.
351
00:14:45,535 --> 00:14:48,346
For when we finished
the Glass Club crusade.
352
00:14:50,164 --> 00:14:52,999
I just... Anyone else,
I would think, is full of shit,
353
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:54,376
but I weirdly believe you
354
00:14:54,377 --> 00:14:57,230
for how specific and insane
that logic is.
355
00:14:58,005 --> 00:14:59,440
[sighs]
Mare: Um...
356
00:15:01,342 --> 00:15:03,176
- I gotta go. [sighs]
- No.
357
00:15:03,177 --> 00:15:04,553
- I--
- You just got here.
358
00:15:04,554 --> 00:15:06,221
I know, I have
a long drive home, though.
359
00:15:06,222 --> 00:15:07,264
Don't-- Don't leave.
360
00:15:07,265 --> 00:15:08,557
I-I have a lease to sign.
361
00:15:08,558 --> 00:15:10,183
Ned: Please.
No, don't sign the lease.
362
00:15:10,184 --> 00:15:12,036
Please don't sign the lease.
363
00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:14,729
[sighs]
364
00:15:14,730 --> 00:15:16,189
[mouths]
Fuck!
365
00:15:16,190 --> 00:15:19,293
Don't get comfortable.
We need the bed back now.
366
00:15:25,241 --> 00:15:26,384
Adelola:
Nope.
367
00:15:31,581 --> 00:15:33,039
[Ned sighs]
368
00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:34,249
Should you be back at work?
369
00:15:34,250 --> 00:15:35,542
Ned:
I have dry mouth, dizziness,
370
00:15:35,543 --> 00:15:37,586
and blurred vision,
but I feel alive.
371
00:15:37,587 --> 00:15:39,337
- What's happening?
- Nothing good.
372
00:15:39,338 --> 00:15:40,839
Lawyer's still not budging.
373
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:43,341
We can still give the police
everything we know.
374
00:15:43,342 --> 00:15:44,801
And if they arrest
the Glass Club members
375
00:15:44,802 --> 00:15:47,387
who made the bribes,
we can write about it then.
376
00:15:47,388 --> 00:15:49,473
Anybody
could write about it then.
377
00:15:49,474 --> 00:15:52,100
Look, Marv, I worked
really hard on this piece.
378
00:15:52,101 --> 00:15:54,769
I know.
But you heard Dante.
379
00:15:54,770 --> 00:15:56,521
Things don't always work out.
380
00:15:56,522 --> 00:15:58,523
Sometimes you start
in second place,
381
00:15:58,524 --> 00:16:01,776
and you stay in second place,
and you never get the girl.
382
00:16:01,777 --> 00:16:02,712
Ned:
Wait.
383
00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:07,824
Wait, Marv. What did you
promise The Glass Club?
384
00:16:07,825 --> 00:16:08,950
What exactly?
385
00:16:08,951 --> 00:16:10,202
I told them they can expect
386
00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:11,745
no more negative articles
387
00:16:11,746 --> 00:16:13,163
from The Truth Teller.
388
00:16:13,164 --> 00:16:15,123
Did you say anything
about The Chronicle?
389
00:16:15,124 --> 00:16:16,267
No.
390
00:16:17,585 --> 00:16:18,561
No, I didn't.
391
00:16:19,587 --> 00:16:21,505
- I didn't.
- Let's get in the car.
392
00:16:21,506 --> 00:16:25,693
Yes. Go make those
Glass-holes pay. Yes.
393
00:16:26,677 --> 00:16:28,362
[elevator dings]
394
00:16:32,308 --> 00:16:33,934
- Bye.
- Bye.
395
00:16:33,935 --> 00:16:35,185
- Bye.
- Have fun.
396
00:16:35,186 --> 00:16:36,770
- Yeah.
- Thank you. I'll see you later.
397
00:16:36,771 --> 00:16:38,438
- Bye.
- See you. You're rolling it up.
398
00:16:38,439 --> 00:16:40,941
Ned: Sorry.
H.R. Lisa: Whee! [laughs]
399
00:16:40,942 --> 00:16:42,776
- Just go.
- [gasps] Bye.
400
00:16:42,777 --> 00:16:44,170
Miss you already.
401
00:16:44,904 --> 00:16:46,297
Whoo! See ya.
402
00:16:46,998 --> 00:16:50,801
So, you're seeing that HR lady?
403
00:16:52,078 --> 00:16:54,180
Um... A little bit.
404
00:16:54,622 --> 00:16:55,598
Hm.
405
00:16:56,749 --> 00:17:00,752
You don't find her to be
a little bit...
406
00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:02,104
of a psycho?
407
00:17:03,339 --> 00:17:04,756
Yeah, a little bit.
408
00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:07,425
But you know,
a little bit's okay.
409
00:17:07,426 --> 00:17:08,569
Ned:
I guess so...
410
00:17:09,604 --> 00:17:12,615
I mean, obviously,
it's none of my business, but...
411
00:17:13,891 --> 00:17:15,409
Nicole's nice too.
412
00:17:16,727 --> 00:17:20,272
Yeah, I know. I know.
413
00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:22,941
Ned: Yeah. Maybe she has
her head screwed on
414
00:17:22,942 --> 00:17:24,168
a little tighter.
415
00:17:28,406 --> 00:17:30,574
Okay, dude, I don't even
drink coffee, okay?
416
00:17:30,575 --> 00:17:33,159
And you should know this
about me, so I'm sorry.
417
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:35,513
That's a chai tea latte.
418
00:17:36,455 --> 00:17:38,915
Oh. Well, damn.
I love chai tea.
419
00:17:38,916 --> 00:17:40,792
And it's cold now.
420
00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:42,794
You should have told me,
you know? [chuckles]
421
00:17:42,795 --> 00:17:44,462
Now I have to like nuke it
in the microwave
422
00:17:44,463 --> 00:17:45,964
like some kind
of freaking heathen.
423
00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:48,133
And you know that when
you nuke it in a microwave,
424
00:17:48,134 --> 00:17:49,551
it doesn't even taste as good
425
00:17:49,552 --> 00:17:51,803
because it's got all these
cold spots, which suck.
426
00:17:51,804 --> 00:17:53,305
Travis:
And it's with coconut milk,
427
00:17:53,306 --> 00:17:54,639
and you're welcome.
428
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:56,349
Adelola: Thank you.
- [microwave beeps]
429
00:17:56,350 --> 00:17:58,476
Okay, we can have
one conversation about it.
430
00:17:58,477 --> 00:18:00,562
For the time it takes
for this tea to heat up.
431
00:18:00,563 --> 00:18:02,314
- You set it for a minute?
- I hit quick start.
432
00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:04,399
Okay, well, I guess
first thing up on my end
433
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,985
is that I enjoy
working with you.
434
00:18:06,986 --> 00:18:08,278
- Thank you.
- And I've liked
435
00:18:08,279 --> 00:18:09,487
- becoming friendly with you.
- Mm.
436
00:18:09,488 --> 00:18:10,864
I like your clothes, everything.
437
00:18:10,865 --> 00:18:12,991
- Thank you.
- And a second thing is, um,
438
00:18:12,992 --> 00:18:15,493
you know, I was being tossed
around by that tornado, right?
439
00:18:15,494 --> 00:18:17,537
- Uh-huh.
- And I couldn't have done that
440
00:18:17,538 --> 00:18:19,515
with my body,
even if I wanted to.
441
00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:21,499
- Okay?
- Mm-hmm.
442
00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:23,394
And I couldn't have stopped.
443
00:18:24,962 --> 00:18:26,355
Even if I wanted to.
444
00:18:28,633 --> 00:18:31,944
- Even if you wanted to?
- Yeah.
445
00:18:34,513 --> 00:18:36,473
- [microwave beeps]
- Oh. Okay.
446
00:18:36,474 --> 00:18:38,058
Okay, well,
I think we're leaving
447
00:18:38,059 --> 00:18:41,478
some things on the table,
but let's call that progress.
448
00:18:41,479 --> 00:18:42,646
- Sure.
- Okay.
449
00:18:42,647 --> 00:18:44,522
- All right.
- [clears throat]
450
00:18:44,523 --> 00:18:49,295
I, uh, believe
tornadoes are real now...
451
00:18:50,529 --> 00:18:53,716
I get why people chase them.
452
00:19:01,374 --> 00:19:02,767
[Travis clears throat]
453
00:19:03,584 --> 00:19:04,501
[sighs]
454
00:19:04,502 --> 00:19:05,960
Jayden, you're new here,
455
00:19:05,961 --> 00:19:10,632
but Matteo knows we have
a strict no fighting policy.
456
00:19:10,633 --> 00:19:11,900
Esmeralda:
Yeah, he knows, man.
457
00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:18,014
But I think it's really unfair
of the teacher to narc on us.
458
00:19:18,015 --> 00:19:21,559
Because we were barely fighting,
and it was my fault.
459
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:26,106
So I think Matteo should get
a boost to his grades
460
00:19:26,107 --> 00:19:29,526
for all the trouble that
we're putting him through, man.
461
00:19:29,527 --> 00:19:34,489
Yeah. Jayden, what the teachers
have observed today
462
00:19:34,490 --> 00:19:37,867
is that you are too smart
for middle school.
463
00:19:37,868 --> 00:19:41,162
Uh, we all think
you belong in college.
464
00:19:41,163 --> 00:19:42,747
- Really?
Principal Bourla: Yeah.
465
00:19:42,748 --> 00:19:45,750
I couldn't be kept
in middle school for long.
466
00:19:45,751 --> 00:19:47,627
I'm too smart.
467
00:19:47,628 --> 00:19:51,798
So... off to college you go.
468
00:19:51,799 --> 00:19:55,051
- Oh. I see it now.
Principal Bourla: Yeah.
469
00:19:55,052 --> 00:19:56,636
I'm a genius, man.
470
00:19:56,637 --> 00:19:57,929
Teacher:
We gotta say goodbye
471
00:19:57,930 --> 00:20:00,890
to our new
very special friend, Jayden.
472
00:20:00,891 --> 00:20:03,685
- Bye, Jayden.
- It was nice meeting you.
473
00:20:03,686 --> 00:20:05,228
Allan: I hope you get
the help you need.
474
00:20:05,229 --> 00:20:06,563
Caleb:
We all think you're a kid.
475
00:20:06,564 --> 00:20:08,106
[teary]
Thank you, bro.
476
00:20:08,107 --> 00:20:09,315
[sighs]
477
00:20:09,316 --> 00:20:11,192
I will never forget you,
my dudes.
478
00:20:11,193 --> 00:20:12,193
[sniffles]
479
00:20:12,194 --> 00:20:13,361
Bye, Jacob.
480
00:20:13,362 --> 00:20:14,696
Allan:
I like this school.
481
00:20:14,697 --> 00:20:16,156
We have cool projects
482
00:20:16,157 --> 00:20:17,490
that really make you think.
483
00:20:17,491 --> 00:20:18,867
My brother.
484
00:20:18,868 --> 00:20:21,828
The one today really had
an impact on us kids.
485
00:20:21,829 --> 00:20:25,599
Liam, I know we had issues,
but you are cool.
486
00:20:27,168 --> 00:20:29,502
Allan: It taught us
something about sensitivity
487
00:20:29,503 --> 00:20:31,880
towards the mentally ill.
488
00:20:31,881 --> 00:20:33,882
I really wanted
to judge her at first.
489
00:20:33,883 --> 00:20:35,300
Text me!
490
00:20:35,301 --> 00:20:36,801
Allan:
But then it made me feel
491
00:20:36,802 --> 00:20:39,387
I should apologize
to my stepdad.
492
00:20:39,388 --> 00:20:41,890
I really take him for granted.
493
00:20:41,891 --> 00:20:43,183
[horn honks]
494
00:20:43,184 --> 00:20:44,660
[laughing] Hey, bud.
495
00:20:45,478 --> 00:20:46,895
- Hey.
Allan: Hey.
496
00:20:46,896 --> 00:20:49,564
- How was your day?
- It was good, Dad.
497
00:20:49,565 --> 00:20:52,025
- How was yours?
- Yeah.
498
00:20:52,026 --> 00:20:53,067
Allan: Good.
499
00:20:53,068 --> 00:20:54,420
[sighs]
500
00:20:58,491 --> 00:21:00,283
Detrick:
This place is fancy.
501
00:21:00,284 --> 00:21:01,969
Ned: Do you see her?
Detrick: No.
502
00:21:02,828 --> 00:21:04,287
[Ned clicks tongue, sighs]
503
00:21:04,288 --> 00:21:05,431
Ned:
Mare?
504
00:21:07,458 --> 00:21:08,684
[shouts] Mare!
505
00:21:09,919 --> 00:21:10,895
[whispers] Sorry.
506
00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:14,464
Sorry... it's family.
507
00:21:14,465 --> 00:21:16,299
Ned: Hey.
- Hi.
508
00:21:16,300 --> 00:21:17,634
- Missed you.
- How you doing?
509
00:21:17,635 --> 00:21:19,052
- Can I talk to him really quick?
Ned: Sure. Yeah.
510
00:21:19,053 --> 00:21:21,429
- What's going on?
- Yeah. Oh, so, um, I just--
511
00:21:21,430 --> 00:21:23,348
I need to talk to you
about something.
512
00:21:23,349 --> 00:21:25,892
- So...
- Um, I don't think I was clear.
513
00:21:25,893 --> 00:21:28,102
Um... [chuckles]
514
00:21:28,103 --> 00:21:30,355
I don't want some big,
romantic gesture.
515
00:21:30,356 --> 00:21:32,232
- I don't think--
- Stop. Stop.
516
00:21:32,233 --> 00:21:33,542
This is not about that.
517
00:21:34,902 --> 00:21:36,945
Okay. S--
518
00:21:36,946 --> 00:21:37,812
[sighs]
519
00:21:37,813 --> 00:21:39,572
Then what are you doing here?
[laughs]
520
00:21:39,573 --> 00:21:41,741
You liked our new
Glass Club piece, right?
521
00:21:41,742 --> 00:21:43,910
Yeah.
It was one in a million.
522
00:21:43,911 --> 00:21:46,621
It made me, honestly,
very jealous.
523
00:21:46,622 --> 00:21:49,165
Yeah, so we can't
put it out in Toledo.
524
00:21:49,166 --> 00:21:54,104
So I-I want you to take it
and put it out here instead.
525
00:21:55,631 --> 00:21:56,816
In The Chronicle.
526
00:21:58,259 --> 00:22:00,343
[sighing] Okay. Um...
527
00:22:00,344 --> 00:22:02,613
With one condition.
528
00:22:03,889 --> 00:22:04,889
[laughs]
529
00:22:04,890 --> 00:22:06,933
Come on, dude,
I'm not getting back with you
530
00:22:06,934 --> 00:22:08,852
- over a byline.
- Not that, no.
531
00:22:08,853 --> 00:22:10,311
You have to share credit.
532
00:22:10,312 --> 00:22:13,106
With Detrick. Okay?
He worked really hard on it,
533
00:22:13,107 --> 00:22:16,025
but we both agree
that if you took a pass on it,
534
00:22:16,026 --> 00:22:17,211
it could be next level.
535
00:22:17,945 --> 00:22:18,878
Um...
536
00:22:18,879 --> 00:22:23,366
- Say yes.
- Yeah, let me talk to Dan. Okay?
537
00:22:23,367 --> 00:22:25,553
- Tell him I said hi.
- That's...
538
00:22:34,044 --> 00:22:35,813
[snapping fingers]
539
00:22:38,340 --> 00:22:40,025
- Hi, Detrick.
- Oh, shit.
540
00:22:41,218 --> 00:22:42,552
What are you doing here?
541
00:22:42,553 --> 00:22:44,470
Well, I saw
you were leaving from work,
542
00:22:44,471 --> 00:22:45,990
so I followed you.
543
00:22:46,974 --> 00:22:49,058
- Two hundred miles?
- Yeah.
544
00:22:49,059 --> 00:22:51,537
I just wanted
to give you this.
545
00:22:52,438 --> 00:22:54,564
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait...
Nicole.
546
00:22:54,565 --> 00:22:55,565
What are you doing?
547
00:22:55,566 --> 00:22:57,167
[shouts] Oh, shit!
548
00:22:58,152 --> 00:23:00,236
Bang, bang. [laughs]
549
00:23:00,237 --> 00:23:01,547
[laughs sarcastically]
550
00:23:02,990 --> 00:23:06,844
Salted nuts, your favorite.
In case you get hungry.
551
00:23:08,495 --> 00:23:10,580
Thank you. Um...
552
00:23:10,581 --> 00:23:12,683
I'm not sure I understand
what this is.
553
00:23:14,293 --> 00:23:17,420
I saw that you started
hanging out with Lisa.
554
00:23:17,421 --> 00:23:18,981
I'm super happy for you.
555
00:23:20,466 --> 00:23:23,301
Thank you.
I really appreciate you.
556
00:23:23,302 --> 00:23:26,387
I mean this. Appreciate
you bringing me this.
557
00:23:26,388 --> 00:23:28,699
[chuckles] Okay. Good.
558
00:23:29,475 --> 00:23:31,744
Um... See you at work?
559
00:23:32,519 --> 00:23:33,561
Maybe.
560
00:23:33,562 --> 00:23:36,439
See you. [giggles]
561
00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:38,358
Whoo! Go get it. Have fun.
562
00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:39,692
[engine revs]
563
00:23:39,693 --> 00:23:40,902
[metallic crunch]
- Hey!
564
00:23:40,903 --> 00:23:42,779
- That's my car.
- [tires squeal]
565
00:23:42,780 --> 00:23:45,823
That's my car,
you crazy little bitch!
566
00:23:45,824 --> 00:23:49,261
Maybe not. [laughs] See ya.
567
00:23:54,124 --> 00:23:56,560
[pencil tapping]
568
00:23:58,337 --> 00:24:00,213
Detrick, this is very good.
569
00:24:00,214 --> 00:24:02,048
You have written a story
570
00:24:02,049 --> 00:24:06,344
about a low structural barrier,
and you've made it interesting.
571
00:24:06,345 --> 00:24:07,428
Thank you.
572
00:24:07,429 --> 00:24:08,596
Criminally low.
573
00:24:08,597 --> 00:24:10,056
Dan:
I think it's pretty good.
574
00:24:10,057 --> 00:24:13,327
Just, uh, make those changes
we talked about, but...
575
00:24:14,561 --> 00:24:15,979
[Dan sighs]
- [Mare gasps]
576
00:24:15,980 --> 00:24:17,772
Mare [chuckling]:
Ho...
577
00:24:17,773 --> 00:24:19,148
Looks good to me.
578
00:24:19,149 --> 00:24:21,001
Jeanie:
Oh...
579
00:24:22,069 --> 00:24:23,403
What's "NS"?
580
00:24:23,404 --> 00:24:24,445
Mare: New stuff.
- [Jeanie sighs]
581
00:24:24,446 --> 00:24:25,571
Dan:
Non-story. Not a story.
582
00:24:25,572 --> 00:24:27,532
Ned:
That is perfect.
583
00:24:27,533 --> 00:24:29,367
- Should I send it?
Ned: Yes.
584
00:24:29,368 --> 00:24:30,660
[computer chimes]
585
00:24:30,661 --> 00:24:31,804
Ned:
Done.
586
00:24:33,038 --> 00:24:36,416
- It's good. It's really good.
- Yes, it is.
587
00:24:36,417 --> 00:24:38,102
Oh, boy.
588
00:24:40,170 --> 00:24:43,589
- Thank you.
- Please. It was fun.
589
00:24:43,590 --> 00:24:45,734
Yeah. Yeah.
590
00:24:46,969 --> 00:24:49,029
You still gonna sign
that lease?
591
00:24:50,597 --> 00:24:51,824
[sighs] Maybe.
592
00:24:54,935 --> 00:24:55,994
Don't.
593
00:24:56,854 --> 00:24:59,605
Oh, [laughing] come on.
594
00:24:59,606 --> 00:25:01,315
- What?
- You can't look at me like that.
595
00:25:01,316 --> 00:25:03,836
- You can't do that.
- You got the wrong look.
596
00:25:05,362 --> 00:25:08,614
I'm not looking at you
like an ex-girlfriend.
597
00:25:08,615 --> 00:25:10,634
- [sighs]
- I'm looking at you like...
598
00:25:11,744 --> 00:25:13,303
a great journalist.
599
00:25:14,329 --> 00:25:15,389
And it sucks.
600
00:25:17,583 --> 00:25:19,542
Because you can do that
anywhere.
601
00:25:19,543 --> 00:25:23,463
You can do it here,
or you can do it in Chicago,
602
00:25:23,464 --> 00:25:24,964
you could do it in Washington,
603
00:25:24,965 --> 00:25:27,884
but you will never be
more important to anywhere
604
00:25:27,885 --> 00:25:30,070
than you can be
to your hometown.
605
00:25:31,221 --> 00:25:33,323
So I think
you should come back.
606
00:25:37,853 --> 00:25:40,831
You really want me to come back
as a journalist only?
607
00:25:42,357 --> 00:25:43,834
That's all I'm asking.
608
00:25:47,863 --> 00:25:50,132
Okay. [clicks tongue]
I'll think about it.
609
00:25:51,158 --> 00:25:52,843
[sighs] Okay.
610
00:25:54,369 --> 00:25:56,621
Dude, you look exhausted.
611
00:25:56,622 --> 00:25:57,997
- [laughs]
- Mm!
612
00:25:57,998 --> 00:25:59,749
Oh, come on,
it's like 11 p.m.
613
00:25:59,750 --> 00:26:01,167
By the time you get home,
it'll be like 4.
614
00:26:01,168 --> 00:26:03,044
Do you wanna
just come back to mine?
615
00:26:03,045 --> 00:26:04,313
You can crash on the couch.
616
00:26:05,839 --> 00:26:07,048
No funny business.
617
00:26:07,049 --> 00:26:08,758
I don't want
any funny business.
618
00:26:08,759 --> 00:26:09,884
- Oh.
- I'm on Benadryl.
619
00:26:09,885 --> 00:26:11,177
Wouldn't work anyway.
620
00:26:11,178 --> 00:26:12,821
[chuckles]
621
00:26:14,056 --> 00:26:16,682
Mare: Buddy.
Ned: Dude.
622
00:26:16,683 --> 00:26:18,184
I was actually thinking
that maybe
623
00:26:18,185 --> 00:26:21,020
- because I nearly died today...
- Oh, yeah. No, so close.
624
00:26:21,021 --> 00:26:22,688
...because of your awful gift,
625
00:26:22,689 --> 00:26:24,232
maybe you could crash
on the couch?
626
00:26:24,233 --> 00:26:25,733
I don't know how you did
that logic, but deal.
627
00:26:25,734 --> 00:26:26,859
Ned [laughs]: Deal?
- [Mare laughs]
628
00:26:26,860 --> 00:26:30,047
[upbeat theme playing]
629
00:26:31,782 --> 00:26:33,366
Uh... All right.
630
00:26:33,367 --> 00:26:34,760
[clears throat] So...
631
00:26:36,203 --> 00:26:38,871
I had my own moment of clarity.
632
00:26:38,872 --> 00:26:41,308
{\an8}When she walked into
my hospital room.
633
00:26:42,876 --> 00:26:44,061
{\an8}I love her.
634
00:26:45,045 --> 00:26:46,396
{\an8}Can't live without her.
635
00:26:47,631 --> 00:26:49,006
{\an8}And if that's not something
636
00:26:49,007 --> 00:26:50,591
{\an8}that I can ever tell her,
637
00:26:50,592 --> 00:26:53,112
{\an8}then that'll have to be okay.
638
00:26:54,279 --> 00:26:57,515
{\an8}It'll be torture, but as long
as I can sit at my desk...
639
00:26:57,516 --> 00:26:58,558
{\an8}[breathes deeply]
640
00:26:58,559 --> 00:26:59,892
{\an8}...at our newspaper
641
00:26:59,893 --> 00:27:02,830
{\an8}and see her face
through my office window...
642
00:27:05,107 --> 00:27:06,750
{\an8}I can handle anything.
643
00:27:07,734 --> 00:27:08,734
{\an8}- [horn honks]
Mare: Dude.
644
00:27:08,735 --> 00:27:10,069
{\an8}- Jesus.
- I'm so tired.
645
00:27:10,070 --> 00:27:11,797
{\an8}- Can we go?
- Yes.
646
00:27:14,533 --> 00:27:15,950
{\an8}Ned: Yeah.
- I looked it up.
647
00:27:15,951 --> 00:27:17,827
{\an8}The Best Western's
like 99 bucks.
648
00:27:17,828 --> 00:27:20,055
{\an8}Don't think
I won't drop your ass off.
649
00:27:24,168 --> 00:27:25,751
{\an8}- [horn honking]
Ned: Aah! Okay.
650
00:27:25,752 --> 00:27:27,003
{\an8}Jesus Christ.
651
00:27:27,004 --> 00:27:29,881
{\an8}[horn continues honking]
652
00:27:29,882 --> 00:27:31,150
{\an8}- Stop it!
- [honking ceases]