Please, Akane, I beg you.
You're the only one who can play her.
[Akane] Geez, you senior students never give up, do you?
You have to play the lead role. You just have to.
We're begging you.
Why won't you help them, Akane?
Don't you think performing in a theater competition would be amazing?
Nah. Uh…
- Hey, Ranma. - Hmm?
[screams]
[huffs] What did you do that for, Akane?
- Whoa. No way. - Oh, my. The rumors were true.
Ranma Saotome, be our star cross-dresser.
It's not cross-dressing!
- If it's not that, then what is it? - I don't know.
Ranma's right for the job.
He's so talented, he can learn any skill in less than a day.
Hey!
Why wouldn't you want the role, Akane?
It's the main part after all.
[scoffs] Let me guess.
The role is either a karate champ or wrestler
or a deadly assassin ninja girl.
You were born for those roles.
- [jeering] - Say that again, I dare you!
Are you sure you don't want to be in our play, Akane?
I said no and I mean no! [grunts]
[director] I guess we have no choice. Then it's settled.
As of today, Ranma Saotome will be our new Juliet!
[Akane] Juliet.
"O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?"
Marvelous! So that means you'll do it, Akane?
Ah, my Juliet!
Oh, Kuno, it's you!
[Kuno, muffled] Fair Juliet, you may call me Romeo.
What makes you think you're Romeo?
- Uh-huh! - [Kuno scoffs]
CLUB SIGN-UP FORM
- A sign-up form? [gasps] - [gasps]
Seeing as I just joined the drama club, it's only logical
that I'm cast as the lead!
Well, if you think you're right for the role.
[both exclaim]
[Akane] Oh, Gosunkugi wants it too?
[Gosunkugi] If I play Romeo, then I can finally talk to Akane.
Well, we only need one Romeo.
[grunts]
[all] Happosai!
I can't believe I'm being forced to play Romeo at this age.
The shame!
Although if I get to play Romeo,
I get to do a love scene with Akane!
[laughs] Looks like Juliet's quite popular.
- [sighs] - Well, I'm sure you'll do great.
Yeah, I sure will.
A chance to play Juliet…
I was born great!
Huh?
RANMA1/2
NOT YOUR TYPICAL JULIET
[Kasumi] Oh, how wonderful!
- Akane's playing Juliet this time? - [Ranma] Huh?
- Wait, this time? - Mmm.
Oh, yes. When her elementary school did that play, she was Romeo.
See?
Whoa. Hey, that part suits her.
You really want me to play Romeo?
That's right. You're the only one who can do it.
- Please say yes, Akane. - You'll be amazing!
- [student] Oh, my gosh. - [Akane giggles]
[sighs] I hid my sadness.
[grunting]
- [student 1] Akane, you're amazing! - [student 2] Yeah, you're so good!
- [Akane] Really? - [student 3] You look like a real boy.
[Akane] Uh…
- [student 4] You can do it, Akane! - [Akane] Yeah.
- [student 5 giggles] - [student 2] Wow!
But the truth was all I wanted to do was wear a pretty dress and play Juliet!
But there was no way I could have told them that.
However, this time I can finally play her
and fulfill my lifelong dream!
Yo, Romeo!
[screams]
[Ranma chewing]
[director] We'll now rehearse Juliet's balcony scene.
Wisely and slowly, let's see what you've got.
- Stop chewing in my ear! - [exclaims]
I'm sorry I have to ask.
You all want to play Romeo,
but do any of you really know what this play is about?
Of course! Romeo is a samurai who loves cherry blossoms.
[laughs] Juliet, another drink!
[breathes heavily]
- [chuckling] - [director] This is a disaster!
We'll never be able to win the theater competition with this bunch.
Now nobody will win
- that luxurious China travel invitation. - [Ranma] Huh?
The prize is an invitation to visit China?
[director] Uh, yeah.
If I win, then that means I can travel back to China
and find the spring of the drowned man.
Ranma, there's no way you're taking Juliet away from me!
You idiot! Why would I do that?
- Ah, well that means… - [Gosunkugi, Happosai] Hmm.
[screeching]
[growling]
[whimpering]
All right, then. Let's settle this right here and now.
Fine by me.
[gasps] "Violent delights have violent ends."
Don't.
If this is a play we're doing, let's settle it on stage.
[scoffs] So then, whoever's the last man standing in the show,
will be crowned the one true Romeo.
- So a battle royale? Count me in. - [huffs]
I'll make worms' meat out of you.
- Idiot! - [grunts] Hmm?
You guys, we're doing Romeo and Juliet, not a school fight!
[sobs] This is such a mess!
Oh, Akane. My Juliet!
[Ranma] It was a mess before I got involved.
Was she really looking forward to it that much?
So who's this Romeo guy supposed to be anyway?
We all know he's a samurai who fights the forces of evil.
He also had a poisoned apple. Mmm.
HIGH SCHOOL THEATER COMPETITION SITE
[announcer] Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats.
The high school theater competition is about to begin.
ROMEO WAITING ROOM
What's that? Ranma's nowhere to be found?
I haven't seen him at all since yesterday.
- Really? - I wonder where he could have gone.
[chuckles] Well, that just means…
[sobbing] Juliet.
Ranma has handed the role of Romeo to the great Tatewaki Kuno
without putting up a fight. [laughs]
That Ranma is a most devout coward.
But fear not, my sweet Akane.
I will be your Romeo!
I don't think so, you old perv!
Ranma!
[grunts] So, you survived.
Seriously? Did you really think something like this would slow me down?
[yells]
You fool!
Hurrah, Ranma, I'm so happy. Now you can finally play Romeo.
After all, I'm your number one fan.
Hey, Ranma. I made you this costume with my own two hands.
It'll make you look the part.
Good luck with the show. It'll be a blast. Bye!
[chuckles] I'm such a good actor.
Once Ranma's out of the way, then Romeo is mine.
Sorry, I can't accept this gift.
How could you play with a poor maiden's heart like that?
[Ranma] Idiot.
- [Akane] Ranma, wait! - Hmm?
Are you really sure you can handle this role?
[scoffs] Of course I can.
I've got a trip to China riding on this Romeo guy.
- [gasps] - Listen, Akane.
I'll be the perfect Romeo and you will be the perfect Juliet.
Oh, Ranma…
- What is Romeo's relationship to Juliet? - Her dad.
SCRIPT
- Could you at least learn the basic story? - [screams]
[announcer] Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your patience.
CHINA TRAVEL(ER) INVITATION
The final play is about to begin,
Furinkan High School's performance of Romeo and Juliet.
[audience applauds]
O Romeo.
Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?
- [audience member] All right, Akane! - [audience member 2] Yeah, finally!
[director] Romeo and Juliet fell in love at first sight.
But their families were bitter enemies, so Romeo secretly went-- [grunts]
Juliet!
Uh… O Romeo.
- I'm the real Romeo! - Hmm?
No, I'm Romeo!
[all grunting]
- [Ranma] I'm Romeo! - [director sighs]
But there were two impostors, so who do you think is the real Romeo?
WHO IS THE REAL ROMEO?
1. HAPPOSAI 2. TATEWAKI KUNO 3. RANMA SAOTOME
- Hi, Juliet. - [screams]
[laughs] I can't win in a fight, so I disguised myself as the balcony.
[screams]
[Happosai] Hmm? Oh, boy…
- Juliet! - [sighs] O Romeo.
[audience member clears throat]
Wait, aren't they supposed to say something here?
- [audience murmuring] - No. It's a dramatic pause.
You can just feel their love overflowing from the stage.
O Romeo.
[softly] Did you learn your lines?
[chuckles]
- [yelps] - [Tendo] Romeo embraces Juliet tightly.
- [both] Hmm? - [laughs]
I had a feeling this might happen.
[Akane whispers] Dad?
Listen to me, Ranma. All you have to do is repeat what I say.
O-Okay.
[whispering] …Juliet…
- Juliet. - R-Romeo?
- …marry… [whispering] - I will marry you and inherit the dojo.
[audience member] Dojo?
- Now the kiss! - [both stammer] Hmm?
- [all cheering] - Yeah, the best part!
Whoa! I can't believe they're gonna kiss for real!
All right! This play rocks!
- Wait, what? - It's not real. It's acting!
WILL DEFINITELY DO IT!
Idiot! Will you cut that out?
But both families are in total agreement.
So hurry up and kiss!
[audience cheering]
[Ranma] Get outta here!
DESPITE GETTING PARENTS' APPROVAL?
I don't care if it's only acting.
- Nobody's gonna make me kiss Akane! - [scoffs]
We won't kiss. I wont' kiss her!
[shouting] But I'm Romeo, okay?
- [audience member] How ridiculous! - [audience member 2] Absurd!
What kind of Romeo doesn't wanna kiss his Juliet?
[Akane] I've had just about enough.
[laughs]
Not being able to do a love scene with Juliet is a big mistake, Ranma.
Now I will do my best to woo your lady.
- Get thee gone! - [screams]
I'll be revenged, you old perv!
So you don't care if Kuno or Hipposai kiss me then, is that right?
Hmm?
I'm here for you, Juliet.
And I'm here for the kiss.
- [thudding, crashing] - Just get lost!
[groans] Damn it.
Poor Juliet has been struck by grief.
Will her beloved Romeo ever return to her?
Oh, just you wait.
I'll give them all a love scene that they're never gonna forget!
[director gasps]
Stupid Ranma. Everything is such a tragic mess.
- [Kasumi] You've got this, Akane! - [gasps]
Kasumi.
You were so excited about this role!
Don't be disheartened by something like this!
[gasps]
Yes, that's right.
Playing the role of Juliet was my childhood dream.
And Romeo can be anyone!
And I am anyone, fair Juliet!
O Romeo!
O Juliet!
No! I can't do it!
Huh?
[muffled] What the hell is this?
[cackles] Let's skip ahead
- to the wedding chapel scene! - [bells pealing]
[bell tolls]
Poor Juliet has been kidnapped by a creepy yokai!
Who are you calling a yokai?
[Ranma grunts]
O "Ro-me-yokai".
- Here! Let's have a wedding toast! - [gulping]
[audience member] Wait, did they re-cast Juliet mid-show?
[audience member 2] What's going on?
- [Ranma giggles] - [Happosai hums]
- I feel so good! - Oh, Romeo! You drink like a fool so well!
And now… you'll go mad for this reward.
Hooray! [grunts]
- [muffled cries] - [Ranma exclaims]
Right, one down.
- [yelps] - My Juliet. [moans]
I've been looking all over for you, Romeo!
[footsteps scurry]
And I you, fair Juliet.
[coughs, spits]
It's alcohol-free. Do not fret.
It's just the tears of love I have for you.
Gross!
Okay, it's time to duel!
Let's give this play the fight scene that it deserves!
You desire to woo me with your sword has all but proven
- your love is real! - Wait, huh?
That's not what I said!
You should lend me your ears and pay more attention
to what I'm trying to tell you!
- Wait, why are they fighting? - [arguing continues]
I thought they wanted to run away together.
We should marry right now!
Slow down, Romeo. Don't get ahead of yourself.
[grunts] Hmm?
Come. If you value your life, borrow Cupid's wings and fly into my arms…
LOVE DROPS
…Juliet.
[scoffs] You think you can woo me that easy?
Well, I'm not gonna fall for… [shrieks]
[groans]
- Juliet! - [Ranma whimpering]
Alas, poor Juliet! A tragic end at such a young age.
Juliet, you fell for me.
Thus, with a kiss, I die. Mmm…
- Hmm? - [Akane] Hey, Romeo, wrong Juliet!
Ah, Juliet! So you didn't die!
This Juliet is looking for a fight.
All right, but if I win…
- [swords clash] - …then you will be mine!
[grunts]
- [groans] - [Tendo] It's time to wake up.
[coughs]
You're challenging me in a sword fight?
Then you should give up, because you're already mine!
[grunts, gasps]
So, this is where the two kiss, right?
- [grunts] - Romeo, you low-life cheat!
Ranma, no! I'm supposed to be Juliet!
Huh? Then you want a love scene with Kuno?
Uh, well, no, of course I don't.
Right, so step aside.
I need to win this trip to China, and you're gonna help me get there.
[stammers, grunts]
[audience gasping, cheering]
[audience member] Yeah!
[Ranma gags] Even with tape across his mouth, that was still gross!
[Kuno] Did my heart love till now?
[Ranma cackles]
[Kuno] You kiss by the book.
Two down!
All right, now the love scene's over.
We can carry on with the show, Juliet.
[Akane] Do you really dislike me that much?
Huh?
You'll happily kiss Kuno instead.
- [slaps] - Fine! I totally get it now!
- [whimpers] - That's it. I'm going home.
Hey, wait.
- What are you angry about now? - [Akane] I'm not.
- Because I quit. [scoffs] - [director muttering, whimpering]
Are you seriously walking away after I put myself through so much?
I don't care.
- You do know I used tape, right? - [audience murmurs]
Yeah, right.
- Please forgive me, Akane! - [gasps]
For it is true. I did kiss the pigtailed girl.
- No, you didn't. - Did… [grunts]
Then explain to me what this is.
Ha. A tender kiss keepsake.
Do you see now, Akane?
This tape is proof that there is no way--
[whimpers]
[chuckles] What do you think of this powerful medicine?
[Ranma] Gosunkugi!
- [Akane] What the hell, man? - [chuckles]
I did it! I had a conversation with Akane!
[grunts, sighs]
Take one step closer and your precious Juliet will die.
- What the hell? - O Juliet!
[straining] Let's leave together and…
[groans] You're so heavy.
- [Gosunkugi, Ranma shrieking] - Juliet!
Now that I have kissed the pigtailed girl,
The honorable thing will be to kiss you too!
I keep saying you didn't kiss her!
Akane, wake up! You've gotta act!
Although, however, poor Juliet wouldn't wake up.
[audience applauds]
I seemed all hope was lost for our heroine,
as Juliet remained in a deep slumber.
Only a kiss from Romeo would awaken her.
What are you talking about?
This isn't a fairy tale. Why do I have to kiss her?
- [cackling] - It was a request from the judge.
It means you'll get the China travel invitation.
[person] If you kiss her, then you will win for sure.
[Ranma] It's the sponsor.
You have to do it, Ranma.
Do you wanna go back to China or not?
[whimpers] W-Well, of course I do. You know that!
[Tendo] So there shouldn't be any problem, then.
- Fettle your fine joints and go! - [yelps]
[yelps]
[all gulp]
[groans, strains]
If I can get this kiss over with, I can go to China.
[sighs]
I do this and I can be a man again. Here I go.
[groans, whimpers]
- Come on, hurry up. - [whispers] Think about China.
[softly] You guys really aren't helping me here! [winces]
You are fortune's fool, fake Romeo!
If you loved her, then one public kiss means nothing!
Maybe I'm just a bit shy a bout PDA, okay!
To think, he still refuses to kiss her, even though a trip to China depends on it.
[distorted] Do you really detest my Juliet that much, Romeo?
Or should I say, Ranma?
Shut up, fool!
- [sighs] If I didn't like her… - [groans]
…then it wouldn't be this difficult!
[gasps, sighs]
- Hey, Romeo. - Huh?
[gasps] Akane, when did you wake up?
Listen, I'll help you win this.
[squeals]
That's not why I… If it wasn't that, I would've…
It's not the only reason I… It's because… You know what I mean!
Yeah?
[winces]
What if you… just pretend?
[Ranma] She's… cute!
[all gasping]
- [pops] - [audience cheering]
CHINA TRAVEL INVITATION
And with the touching of lips, they have secured victory!
[audience cheering]
MAN AMONG MEN
[cheering continues]
[Ranma] Hmm? [grunts]
All right. Was that realistic enough for ya?
[chuckles]
[Akane] What are you sulking about now?
Nothing.
She tricked me.
That girl really isn't--
[Akane] Although,
I do wish we could've kissed without the tape.
Uh? [screams]
[strains]
[Akane] I'm only joking!
Wow, you're such an idiot.
Well, you're not cute, so…
[Akane] Anyway, you should be grateful.
If it weren't for me, you wouldn't be going to China.
[Ranma] Yeah, yeah, I know. Drop it already!
[people laughing]
- [door slides open] - [Akane] We're back!
[Kasumi] It's about time. You two are late!
It's already started, you know.
- The China Traveler Invitation. - [Ranma] Hmm?
What do you mean by "started"?
[laughter continues]
LUXURIOUS CHINA TRAVELER INVITATION
[Tendo] Oh, Ranma!
Let me introduce you to Ryoko, the traveler from China you invited.
It's nice to have such a luxurious invitation.
It appears this mix-up was a real comedy of errors.
[Tendo] Ryoko, would you like another top-up?
[Ryoko] Let us eat and drink as friends.
[Akane grunts]
[laughter continues]
I think all that acting took it out of him.
Maybe he'll wake up if you give him a kiss, Akane.
I think it's kinder to just let him stay like this.
[stammering]
[yelps]
RANMA1/2