1 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:57,720 -What are you doing? -Changing. 2 00:00:57,800 --> 00:00:59,480 -Changing for what? -Just changing. 3 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,240 Why have you brought wraps? 4 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:19,400 Look, if you're not gonna speak, Ruben, I'm not gonna stick around much longer. 5 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:22,120 You love me, don't you? 6 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:26,600 What? 7 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:29,480 You love me? 8 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:33,440 -Where is this going? -Just answer the question. 9 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:37,479 Well, of course I do. You're my-- 10 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:38,640 No. 11 00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:41,160 No caveats. Stick with the emotion. 12 00:01:44,759 --> 00:01:46,640 -Where do you feel it? -Hmm? 13 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:47,720 Your love for me. 14 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:49,759 Where do you feel it? 15 00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:50,880 Is it here? 16 00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:52,720 Listen, Ruben, I am not sure what this is all about. 17 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:53,920 Just answer the question. 18 00:01:56,039 --> 00:01:57,800 I suppose love is most felt in the heart, right? 19 00:01:57,880 --> 00:01:59,920 No, fuck that fucking mug response. 20 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:01,640 Answer as you. 21 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:04,360 I want to know where Niall Kennedy feels it. 22 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:07,680 -I feel it everywhere. -Everywhere? 23 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:09,560 Yeah, it sort of runs through me in a way. 24 00:02:10,759 --> 00:02:12,840 -Describe it. -I can't! I can't describe it! 25 00:02:12,920 --> 00:02:14,360 Yes, you fucking can! 26 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:18,800 Mr. fucking Poet Laureate, or whatever the fuck it is you've won, 27 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:20,720 your job is putting shit into words. 28 00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:23,680 So come on. Spell it out for me. 29 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:25,240 Clearly. 30 00:02:26,079 --> 00:02:27,440 In a way I can understand. 31 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:31,120 It's like... 32 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:35,640 -dangerous. -Oh, yeah? 33 00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:37,840 It is the best 34 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:41,079 and the worst thing all at once. 35 00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:43,760 It's like the only thing. 36 00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:45,760 It's the only thing I've ever felt. 37 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:49,720 It's like I'm fucking... 38 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:53,320 high off of you or something. 39 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,320 Chemically dependent. I don't know. 40 00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:30,200 So how long did you wait? 41 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,360 -In terms of? -Before you swooped in. 42 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:38,640 Before you took what's mine. 43 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:44,240 I'm not speaking about this. 44 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:00,080 Fuck. 45 00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:02,960 -You ready? -Yeah, sorry. Just coming. 46 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:11,200 Okay. 47 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:15,120 Who has the first question? Yes, madam. 48 00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:18,600 Niall, your book has been heralded as a modern masterpiece. 49 00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:20,399 Can you speak to the room about how you managed 50 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:22,720 to paint such an accurate portrait of male violence? 51 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:24,840 A good novelist never reveals his sources. 52 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:26,160 Reveal your sources, then! 53 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:32,000 Sorry, no can do... 54 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:34,159 compadre. 55 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:39,440 But the book is clearly based on your brother, 56 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:43,480 who's been involved in two high-profile serious assault cases in this country, 57 00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:46,440 the last of which almost cost Benjamin Thompson his life. 58 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:48,920 No, my book had nothing to do with any of that. 59 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:50,560 My brother informed some of the research, yes, 60 00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:52,960 but it's important to remember that this is a work of fiction. 61 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:54,240 It's not a biography. 62 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:56,640 It would have been very easy for me to write a biography. 63 00:04:56,720 --> 00:05:00,280 Yes, but your book follows a violent central character called Cosmo, 64 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:02,040 who, despite everything he does, 65 00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:05,240 is portrayed as a victim of emotions he cannot control. 66 00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:07,720 Were you trying to defend his actions in some way? 67 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:08,960 Not in the slightest. 68 00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:12,080 Let's bring the microphone to the next person, please. 69 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:15,320 Ease up a bit, yeah? You’re stiff as fuck. 70 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,240 Yep, go ahead. 71 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,680 Following on from the last question, 72 00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:25,640 you appear to be a little defensive today in your answers. 73 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:29,080 But to me, your brother's conviction was so in the public domain. 74 00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:31,320 Surely you could see that parallels would be drawn. 75 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:32,960 Yes, but what about the dialogue? 76 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:34,960 The characters, the portrait of mental health? 77 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:37,560 -I mean, those didn't come from him. -My apologies. 78 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:39,880 We're just interested in getting to know the man behind the story. 79 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,320 Well, that's me. I'm the man behind the story. 80 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:44,200 -I understand that, but-- -Look, I'm sorry, 81 00:05:44,280 --> 00:05:46,200 but does anyone here have any questions about me? 82 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:52,400 Seriously? 83 00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:55,520 Call yourselves journalists? 84 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:02,240 So for the remaining 20 minutes, 85 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,920 we will only be taking questions which relate to the author 86 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,320 and the writing process behind this novel. 87 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:10,760 So does anyone have any questions... 88 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:13,560 on that? 89 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:24,560 Oh, mate, mate. This is hilarious. 90 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:27,680 Oh, man. Oh, mate. 91 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:29,720 Mate, what were you thinking? 92 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:31,920 Fucking hell. Hey, check this bit out. 93 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,280 "When all questions were directed at the author, 94 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:35,960 the room fell silent." 95 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:38,360 "One reporter, eventually, shoved up his hand, 96 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:40,960 but he only did to ask where the bathroom was." 97 00:06:42,280 --> 00:06:45,040 That is good. That is good. 98 00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:47,640 I think I might go. 99 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:49,760 Oh, look, don't do that, you surly little bitch. 100 00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:51,840 Come on. I'm in prison. 101 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:54,840 I need to take what I can to cheer myself up. 102 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,000 -You shouldn't enjoy it so much. -Oh, fuck off. 103 00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:00,440 -Why do you care anyway, you penis? -'Cause... 104 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:04,360 -they only ask about you. -Oh, come on, Bambers. 105 00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:06,080 I'm the main character in this relationship. 106 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:07,480 When are you gonna realize that? 107 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:09,080 At best, you're my sidekick. 108 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:11,040 At worst, you're the guy that brings me my lunch. 109 00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:17,160 Look, I get it. 110 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:20,120 I cast a big shadow, even within four walls. 111 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:22,520 But, hey, if you can't handle the questions, 112 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:25,280 why'd you base the book on me in the first place? 113 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:26,440 Because I felt... 114 00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:30,640 I don't know... 115 00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:33,080 something. 116 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:34,960 Guilty? 117 00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:41,840 Why would you say that? 118 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:44,440 You know, for the Mona thing. 119 00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:48,600 I'm sorry? 120 00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:51,240 Not keeping an eye on her properly. 121 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:52,960 Letting that Benji fucker swoop in. 122 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:54,440 Oh, yeah. No. 123 00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:55,960 No, I mean... 124 00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:58,200 Obviously, I couldn't watch her all the time. 125 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,040 She still denies it, you know. 126 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:04,040 That she slept with him. 127 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:05,560 Since when? 128 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:08,080 Since, I don't know, like a week ago, maybe. 129 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:10,520 She visited? 130 00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:13,560 Yeah. First time in, like, three years. 131 00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:15,160 Brought little Baird with her, too. 132 00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:17,480 -Fucking love that little guy. -She brought Baird with her? 133 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:19,200 Yeah. Miracle child. 134 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:21,480 Three years old now. It's crazy. 135 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:24,360 Can you believe it? Us. Fathers. 136 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:27,840 I know you don't get to see yours often, but check us out, eh? 137 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:29,800 Two strapping fucking dads. 138 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:33,280 I don't understand. I thought there were rules in place. 139 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:35,080 -I thought you couldn't see him. -I couldn't. 140 00:08:35,159 --> 00:08:36,960 But she's changed her mind and all that now. 141 00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:38,640 I tell you, 142 00:08:39,159 --> 00:08:41,960 it's the greatest motivation for keeping my nose clean in here, 143 00:08:42,039 --> 00:08:44,240 getting out before he's old enough to realize where I am. 144 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:47,560 But this is so out of the blue, Ruben. I mean, why did she visit? 145 00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:48,960 I thought she was with someone else now. 146 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:50,480 She was, but it's over. 147 00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:52,280 Why? Why is it over? 148 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:54,200 She was calling out my name during sex. 149 00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:57,400 I don't know that for facts. I just assume that's what happened. 150 00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:01,720 But, like, I mean, did she say what she was after? 151 00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:03,040 No. 152 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:04,760 But something was bothering her. 153 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:06,200 I couldn't really say what it was about. 154 00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:08,440 You didn't get it out of her? 155 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:09,600 No. 156 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:12,400 But I will. 157 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:17,480 I will. 158 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:31,760 It's been four years, Mona. 159 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:33,840 I don't understand. Why now? 160 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:35,600 I'm fucking lonely, okay? 161 00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:38,760 Little Baird's at playgroup all day, and Luke's leaving me, 162 00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:40,320 and I fucking miss him, you know? 163 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:41,520 Well, get him back, then. 164 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:44,040 -Fucking Ruben. It's Ruben I miss. -No, no, no. 165 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:45,800 We're not going back over this again. 166 00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:47,480 It's broken. Move on. 167 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:49,880 You can't build a relationship on what we've done. 168 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:52,560 Those kinds of secrets, they'll destroy you from the inside out. 169 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:53,760 They won't if I tell him. 170 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:56,080 If I wipe the slate clean. 171 00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:57,680 Mona, he'll kill us. 172 00:09:57,760 --> 00:09:59,280 -He'll kill you. -Oh, and then what? 173 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:01,840 You'll have a relationship between plastic prison dividers 174 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:04,200 for the rest of your life. You're not thinking straight. 175 00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:06,000 Here, put this down. 176 00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:07,600 Get away from me, you pig! 177 00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:12,240 Mona, come on now. 178 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:14,120 You're not thinking rationally here. 179 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:16,040 I mean, what happened to compartmentalizing? 180 00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:19,360 -You used to be so good at that. -It all catches up with you in the end. 181 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:21,520 Compartmentalizing is just taking something from your mind 182 00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:22,720 and putting it on your soul. 183 00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:25,440 Come on, Mona, that's ridiculous. You're only thinking about yourself. 184 00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:27,880 No, I'm not. This is about little Baird, too. 185 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,200 He is getting to that age now, 186 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:31,520 and he's going to need a masculine role model in his life. 187 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:32,880 Well, I can be that for him. 188 00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:34,440 Didn't you hear what I just said? 189 00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:39,520 The truth is Ruben wants to be a part of his life, 190 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:41,000 and I've agreed to all that now. 191 00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:42,840 And I'll be damned if I'm staring on 192 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:45,080 while the poor bastard raises the kid thinking he's his. 193 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:47,880 The kid is his. 194 00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:49,160 No, he's not. He's yours. 195 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:52,120 Don't say it. Don't even utter it. 196 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:54,440 You'll reinforce it in your head, 197 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:56,360 and it'll come out your stupid mouth one day 198 00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:58,280 when you're steaming fucking drunk. 199 00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:01,960 How did I burn it all down for you, eh? 200 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:05,400 A nasty little ogre of a man. 201 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:09,440 Pull yourself together, okay? 202 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:14,200 Get Luke back, ditch the sauce, and be an example to your kid. 203 00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:16,720 Don't make me come around here again. 204 00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:08,760 There she is. 205 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:12,280 -Hello, darling. -Hey, Butch. 206 00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:13,880 I haven't seen you in a while. 207 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:15,560 No, no, I've been working a lot. 208 00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:17,960 Can't be doing that now. 209 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:24,360 You bring any naughty substances? 210 00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:25,480 No, not tonight. 211 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:27,320 Thinking of having a chilled one. 212 00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:29,520 In here? 213 00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:31,920 Impossible. 214 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:36,200 We'll see how long you last. 215 00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:03,440 Hey, Butch? Wait up. 216 00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:39,200 Oh, shit. 217 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:04,920 Where have you been? 218 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,520 I'm so sorry. I came as soon as I could. 219 00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:08,800 I can't... 220 00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:19,200 -So is she...? -Almost. 221 00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:10,680 I'm so sorry, Mum. 222 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:15,280 She was a nightmare towards the end. 223 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:20,040 Nice to have you both share an ambulance, though. 224 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:24,240 My contribution to a stretched NHS. 225 00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:28,160 So what happens now? 226 00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:31,560 Well, we'll get the death certificate. 227 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:34,000 Then the funeral home will come and take her away 228 00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:35,720 and pump her full of preservative. 229 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:39,600 I imagine it's like basting a chicken. 230 00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:44,080 -Have you told Ruben? -No. 231 00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:47,000 I've decided you're going to. 232 00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:50,680 Oh, and don't even think about skipping the funeral. 233 00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:54,520 It's likely the prison will let him out, and you have to be there for him, okay? 234 00:15:56,680 --> 00:16:00,240 And for God's sake, go get yourself checked out. 235 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:04,400 You've probably got some awful virus from those places you've been going. 236 00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:06,920 Yes, ma'am. 237 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,079 This way, please, Mr. Kennedy. 238 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:28,079 Here. Thank you. 239 00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:32,000 I'm sorry, that guy in the room, across the hall. 240 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:33,200 Is he called Albert? 241 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:35,440 Yeah. That's right. How come? 242 00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:36,600 It's just... 243 00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:38,840 I knew him once. 244 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:41,120 We lived together at university. 245 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:43,320 Wow. Small world. 246 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:44,680 Yes. Yeah. 247 00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:48,480 Please, sit. 248 00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:07,920 -...the exit? -It’s just down the corridor to the left. 249 00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:10,040 Thanks. 250 00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:12,080 How you doing, mate? This guy says he knows you. 251 00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:14,560 -When was he here? -He just left. 252 00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:21,360 Niall! 253 00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:23,440 Niall! 254 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:29,240 Alby! 255 00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:32,800 -What a surprise. -I know you saw me. 256 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:40,080 What are you doing working here? 257 00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:42,680 I thought you studied philosophy. 258 00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:43,880 I did. 259 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:47,240 I went back to uni to make up for lost time. 260 00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:50,000 Nursing was actually my fourth degree in the end. 261 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:52,520 Turns out I have wanderlust. 262 00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:55,800 You look... 263 00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:58,160 good. 264 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,600 Well, it's a couple of facial reconstructions 265 00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:02,080 since the last time you saw me. 266 00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:05,160 Unfortunately, I'm still a bit more Picasso than Da Vinci 267 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:06,680 for my liking, but it's getting there. 268 00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:12,000 I heard about the book, though. That's exciting. 269 00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:14,160 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 270 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:17,200 The details on your clipboard, less so. 271 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:19,840 Oh, isn't that confidential? 272 00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:22,160 Took a little peek. Sorry. 273 00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:25,560 Ladies. 274 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:28,360 Really, Niall? Ladies? 275 00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:33,240 Oh, fuck it! I lied. I'm sorry. I just... I felt vulnerable, I suppose. 276 00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:34,400 You never change, do you? 277 00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:37,280 I know. It's tragic. 278 00:19:38,360 --> 00:19:41,320 Well, the good thing is, we can help. 279 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:44,000 We... 280 00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:49,600 We also offer support for those who partake in chemsex parties. 281 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:51,600 If you're interested. 282 00:19:53,120 --> 00:19:54,920 And what makes you think I need that? 283 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,160 I can tell. 284 00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:58,320 After all, I've been there myself. 285 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:02,360 It is quite the hole to get out of, take it from me. 286 00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:10,920 It is good to see you, old friend. 287 00:20:57,560 --> 00:21:00,840 There he is, Edgar Allan Poe-faced cunt. 288 00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:03,200 Fuck me, man. 289 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:06,480 You should have been here last night. The heat was unreal. 290 00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:10,360 The one day a year where the sun graces us with her presence 291 00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:12,720 and she decides to hotbox our cell. 292 00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,160 Honestly, man, it was fucking sweltering. 293 00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:17,560 I went for a shit and my testicles ended up 294 00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:19,200 about a half inch beneath the water. 295 00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:20,640 Ruben, Maura died. 296 00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:43,680 Was it quick? 297 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,480 -Was what quick? -Her death. 298 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:48,760 Well, no. 299 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:50,480 She was diagnosed, like, 20 years ago. 300 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:52,920 Yeah, but, like, she went peacefully? 301 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,000 Peacefully. Yeah. 302 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:59,640 Obviously, factor in the last few years of considerable decline. 303 00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:01,360 -Just say yes. -Yes. 304 00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:11,160 Were you, like, with her when she passed? 305 00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:13,560 No. 306 00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:16,560 I was in the waiting room. 307 00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:19,760 I felt a little sick looking at her back at the house, so I kept away. 308 00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:22,840 You didn't spew, did you? You always fucking spew. 309 00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:26,320 Well, yeah, I might have, actually. 310 00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:28,120 You didn't spew on her, did you? 311 00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:30,400 -Well, I... -You spewed on my dying mother? 312 00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:34,360 I suppose when you put it like that. 313 00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:40,000 This is not how I expected this to go. 314 00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:48,560 That fucking cunt. 315 00:22:52,360 --> 00:22:54,040 -Who? -Benji. 316 00:22:55,360 --> 00:22:56,600 He took these years from me. 317 00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:58,440 No, Ruben, you can't go there. 318 00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:00,520 You've been learning to let go of your anger, have you not? 319 00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:02,200 -Yeah, but now it's back. -No, no, no. 320 00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:05,120 Process it like they taught you. This is just grief, 321 00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:07,360 and you're shouldering it onto the nearest emotion that you know. 322 00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:10,560 Fuck that! Don't you psychoanalyze me, pup! 323 00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:12,400 You don't know a damn thing about my emotions. 324 00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:15,000 Well, I do a bit. I mean, my dad died too, remember? 325 00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:17,840 Oh, fuck off! At least you got the chance to say goodbye. 326 00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:20,240 Imagine not being there for him on his deathbed 327 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:21,720 because some cunt took it from you. 328 00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:24,800 -No, that'd be horrible. -Yeah, exactly! 329 00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:26,560 So you think about that before you start talking 330 00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:27,840 about my damn emotions! 331 00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:32,120 And you tell that Benji cunt, wherever he is, 332 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:34,520 that when I get out of here, I'm gonna find him. 333 00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,240 And I'm gonna finish what I should've done the first time around. 334 00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:39,000 I'm not gonna do that, Ruben. 335 00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:40,440 You're fucking doing it, yeah? 336 00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:42,520 You’re fucking doing it, Niall Kennedy, yeah! 337 00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:43,680 Say it! Yeah? 338 00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:46,640 I've got your fucking balls! Don't you fucking forget it! 339 00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:49,520 You're fucking doing this! Yeah? You hear me? 340 00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:51,960 You don't fucking say no to me, you little cunt! 341 00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:54,520 You're fucking doing this, yeah? Yeah! 342 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:57,440 You little fucking prick! You fucking little prick! 343 00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:58,680 You're doing this! 344 00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:00,720 You fucking don't say no to me! 345 00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:02,360 You cunt! 346 00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:04,480 You're fucking doing this! 347 00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:16,200 Niall Kennedy? 348 00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:22,680 This way, please. 349 00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:31,640 Oh, sorry. I didn't know you were taking this one. 350 00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:36,440 I thought that my presence here might make it easier 351 00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:38,480 for you to be honest about what you've been doing. 352 00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:48,080 Fill this out. 353 00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:09,640 Wow, you've had half of Glasgow. 354 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:15,480 Right. Okay. 355 00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:20,040 Would you like the bad news or the good news? 356 00:25:20,120 --> 00:25:22,800 -Bad news. -Classic. 357 00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:28,120 So the bad news is you have syphilis and chlamydia. 358 00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:31,600 But the good news is it's curable. 359 00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:36,080 We'll put you on antibiotics. It'll clear up in three to six weeks. 360 00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:37,160 Easy money. 361 00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:40,000 Thank you. 362 00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:45,240 Anything else I can help you with? 363 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:49,760 Yeah. 364 00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:55,120 What time do you finish? 365 00:25:57,200 --> 00:25:58,480 In about ten minutes. 366 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:02,080 You don't... 367 00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:05,880 fancy a drink, do you? 368 00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:11,640 Well, with a sexual history as extensive as this, 369 00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:14,040 how can I say no? 370 00:26:19,360 --> 00:26:22,440 -So he just started screaming? -Yeah, it was terrifying. 371 00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:23,920 He said he was gonna kill the guy. 372 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,640 And did this Benji guy actually sleep with his wife? 373 00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:30,400 Yeah, I think so. 374 00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:32,360 Wow, brave man. 375 00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:37,200 And they have a kid together, Ruben and this Mona girl? 376 00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:39,560 Yeah. 377 00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:41,920 You mean it could be Benji's? 378 00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:46,280 Ruben always had difficulty conceiving. 379 00:26:47,360 --> 00:26:49,520 Surely, he must suspect something, no? 380 00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:50,840 I'm not sure. 381 00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:54,160 I mean, even if he had the thought, I don't think he pays it much attention. 382 00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:55,720 He's wanted a kid for so long. 383 00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:58,240 Tends to override any rational thinking. 384 00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:02,080 Have you told him you're gay? 385 00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:04,960 I'm bi. 386 00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:07,760 -Have you told him you're bi? -No. 387 00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:10,680 -Have you told anyone you're bi? -Not really. 388 00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:11,880 Have you told yourself? 389 00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:18,640 No. 390 00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:21,320 Oh, Niall. 391 00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:24,560 I had such hopes for you. 392 00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:32,120 Have you even opened yourself up enough to have feelings for a man? 393 00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:38,120 Yeah, only once. 394 00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:41,040 What was he like? 395 00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:43,640 He was... 396 00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:46,600 great. 397 00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:51,600 Really quite amazing. 398 00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:58,040 I'm talking about you by the way. 399 00:27:58,120 --> 00:27:59,280 I figured. 400 00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:05,800 Look, you... 401 00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:08,880 You don't... 402 00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:14,000 fancy getting to know one another again, do you? 403 00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:17,960 I mean, you can think about it, if you like. 404 00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:20,680 I mean, you'd probably rather slap me in my face, but... 405 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:23,880 I don't think I could live with myself if I didn't-- 406 00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:29,040 How's Friday? 407 00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:33,040 Sure. 408 00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:35,080 I'll see you then. 409 00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:39,000 And behave now! 410 00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:41,600 I don't want to hear you've been going back to any of those places. 411 00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:51,760 One, please. 412 00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:03,800 So are you into this guy, then? 413 00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:06,680 Yeah, I think so. 414 00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:10,480 Feels like he could be something, you know? 415 00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:13,520 That's great, babe. 416 00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:15,760 I'm really happy for you. 417 00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:23,880 Butch? 418 00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:26,920 What's he about? 419 00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:29,320 People watch, bubby. 420 00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:31,760 You should know that by now. 421 00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:33,520 Yeah, but he's not touching himself or anything. 422 00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:35,120 He's just watching. 423 00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:38,960 Okay. Give me a sec. 424 00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:48,200 Yeah. Yeah. 425 00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:50,800 He's a freak. 426 00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:55,520 -I mean, should I say something? -What would you say? 427 00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:57,280 I dunno. "Why aren't you touching yourself?" 428 00:29:57,360 --> 00:29:59,440 Leaves you open for criticism there, bubs. 429 00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:01,880 Yeah, but I can't carry on like this with him just staring. 430 00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:04,960 He's not moving his face. 431 00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:07,160 Just ignore it, bubby. 432 00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:10,160 Drugs will kick in any moment and you won't care about a thing. 433 00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:12,120 No, I'm gonna say something. 434 00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:18,920 Can I help you, mate? 435 00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:20,880 Yeah. 436 00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:23,400 Do I recognize you? 437 00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:27,920 I fucking hope not. 438 00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:10,520 Don't worry. 439 00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:12,560 I'm the best lawyer in the game. 440 00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:16,280 Just remember to blink for fuck's sake. 441 00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:21,200 So, gents, this place is actually a renowned sex club. 442 00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:25,000 Can you explain your reasons for being here? 443 00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:27,960 It's a naturist spa, actually. 444 00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:31,440 You know, if you turn up in those types of uniforms, 445 00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:32,880 people are gonna get confused. 446 00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:37,160 Deep breath in and out, please. 447 00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:50,520 Back in a moment. 448 00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:53,480 You're not helping. 449 00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:56,040 -Just go. I'll see you later. -No way. 450 00:31:56,120 --> 00:31:58,880 I'm not leaving you to die in a homophobic institution 451 00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:00,920 where they'll do God knows what to you. 452 00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:03,200 This was a car crash, Butch, not a murder. 453 00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:04,680 And Britain, not Chechnya. 454 00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:07,200 Just go, before they arrest the both of us. 455 00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:09,560 Breath is clean. 456 00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:12,480 But we'll have to do bloods, I'm afraid. 457 00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:16,000 No, look, I veered wrong. That's all it was. 458 00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:17,520 Listen, I'm very sorry, 459 00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:19,440 but we're going to have to bring you into the station. 460 00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:20,760 Before you do that, 461 00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:22,680 I'll just have a quick word with my client. 462 00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:28,680 Don't worry, I'll get you down there. Okay? And if you've got anything on you, 463 00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:30,920 I suggest you tuck it under the old ball sack. 464 00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:33,240 They can't do a full-body search for a crime this small. 465 00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:36,320 I'll see you in a bit. 466 00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:37,800 Wait, you're not driving, are you? 467 00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:15,760 Oh, thank fuck. 468 00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:18,040 I have a funeral today and I'm miles from home. 469 00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:19,120 Oh, yeah? 470 00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:21,080 Yeah, it's my mum's friend, but they're... 471 00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:23,200 Well, they're very close. 472 00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:24,640 Sounds like an excuse, kid. 473 00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:26,680 Well, just charge me then! 474 00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:28,720 I was high! Write it up! 475 00:34:02,760 --> 00:34:05,960 Bloods came back positive for meth and crack cocaine. 476 00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:11,120 I didn't know about the second one. 477 00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:17,880 Can you explain your decision to drive whilst under the influence? 478 00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:22,199 Look, my client might have been spiked, 479 00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:24,199 so I suggest you charge him now, 480 00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:26,480 and we will fight this to the very end. 481 00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:29,199 Your client also admitted it to a guard earlier. 482 00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:32,920 Right. Did he? 483 00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:36,120 You don't help yourself, do you? 484 00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:40,480 Niall Brandon Kennedy, 485 00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:43,760 you are hereby charged with driving whilst under the influence of drugs. 486 00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:46,719 -You're not obliged to say anything. -Brandon? 487 00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:48,800 But it may harm your defense if you do not mention 488 00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:51,239 when questioned something which you later rely on in court. 489 00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:53,480 You will be granted bail subject to conditions, 490 00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:55,520 which will be explained to you in due course. 491 00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:21,120 It is never easy to say goodbye. 492 00:35:21,720 --> 00:35:27,200 But we take comfort in knowing that while her earthly journey has ended, 493 00:35:28,240 --> 00:35:34,520 her soul has found comfort in the arms of our merciful God. 494 00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:38,080 Maura was a proud woman, 495 00:35:38,160 --> 00:35:41,200 -not in vanity. -Excuse me. Sorry, guys. 496 00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:43,880 -Or boastfulness. -Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. 497 00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:55,600 She carried herself with dignity. 498 00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:56,840 I'm sorry I'm late. 499 00:35:56,920 --> 00:35:58,720 -And with a strength... -You're a disgrace. 500 00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:00,240 ...that did not demand attention. 501 00:36:01,720 --> 00:36:06,480 She was a kind woman, not just in words, but in deeds. 502 00:36:07,240 --> 00:36:10,600 Whether it was a neighbor in need, a friend in sorrow, 503 00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:13,720 or a stranger who simply crossed her path... 504 00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:26,440 And now, her dearly beloved son, Ruben Pallister, 505 00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:28,240 would like to say a few words. 506 00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:45,240 Thanks everyone for coming. 507 00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:46,840 Can you hear me at the back? 508 00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:53,080 You know, I've... 509 00:36:54,960 --> 00:36:57,280 I've tried so hard to put into words 510 00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:03,120 what my mum means to me, and this is the best I can do. 511 00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:06,800 One side of A4. 512 00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:12,080 I'm not sure what I feel right now, to be honest, though. 513 00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:16,560 I feel a lot of guilt, a lot of anger, 514 00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:18,400 a lot of remorse. 515 00:37:20,240 --> 00:37:22,400 The last thing I feel, in a way... 516 00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:25,680 is grief. 517 00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:32,520 You know, it's funny. 518 00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:37,560 Even though I expected this day to come every day for over ten years now, 519 00:37:38,680 --> 00:37:40,520 nothing can quite prepare you for it. 520 00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:43,160 Every time I get a call in prison... 521 00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:46,160 you think it's her. 522 00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:50,440 "Just joking. Still alive." 523 00:37:52,240 --> 00:37:53,680 Not that she joked very much. 524 00:37:58,080 --> 00:38:02,920 You know, I sometimes think death isn't so much about 525 00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:05,640 missing the person, 526 00:38:05,720 --> 00:38:09,720 but missing the relationship you could have had with them. 527 00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:13,480 And we could have been special, 528 00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:17,760 my mum and I, had I just... 529 00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:21,000 focused a bit. 530 00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:30,080 There was this window in my life where I felt like, 531 00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:33,160 for the first time ever, things might be okay between us. 532 00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:39,400 I passed this exam back at school, and... 533 00:38:41,720 --> 00:38:43,880 she smiled this smile. I don't know. It was like... 534 00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:48,960 her eyes joined her mouth for the first time. 535 00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:54,680 Her face became whole in a way. 536 00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:56,640 I don't... Sorry, I'm... 537 00:38:57,280 --> 00:38:58,840 I'm going off-script a bit here. 538 00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:03,680 I saw relief. 539 00:39:06,240 --> 00:39:07,480 I saw pride. 540 00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:13,800 Well, I cheated that exam. 541 00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:17,240 And when she found out, her face, like, 542 00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:20,760 went back to how it was before. 543 00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:24,880 Smiling with her mouth, but not with her eyes, 544 00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:26,360 only heavier now, and... 545 00:39:27,240 --> 00:39:29,720 by the time she was visiting me in prison every week, she was... 546 00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:32,800 almost unrecognizable. 547 00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:38,200 You see, I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. 548 00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:42,400 Seventeen years in prison. 549 00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:47,160 A third of my life stuck in a fucking box. 550 00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:51,640 When I could have been out there spending time with my mother. 551 00:40:02,720 --> 00:40:04,120 And I promised her, 552 00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:06,520 when I got out the first time, 553 00:40:07,200 --> 00:40:09,120 that I would never go back in again 554 00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:11,320 as long as she was breathing. 555 00:40:14,240 --> 00:40:15,640 Well, I broke that promise. 556 00:40:18,040 --> 00:40:19,640 And soon, she wasn't breathing. 557 00:40:26,720 --> 00:40:27,840 So I'm sorry, Mum. 558 00:40:31,040 --> 00:40:32,360 I'm sorry you've had to wait until now 559 00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:34,960 to hear me accept some sort of responsibility. 560 00:40:39,560 --> 00:40:41,720 And I'm sorry for all the things I put you through. 561 00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:45,960 You know, 562 00:40:47,280 --> 00:40:48,360 in a weird way, 563 00:40:49,760 --> 00:40:52,240 I'm sort of glad the cancer came back to take you... 564 00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:56,680 because it saved me being the cause of your death. 565 00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:01,000 So be at rest now, Mum. 566 00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:05,480 I'll see you in the next life... 567 00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:09,840 where I'll do everything in my power... 568 00:41:11,720 --> 00:41:12,920 to make up for this one. 569 00:41:33,520 --> 00:41:34,880 You okay? 570 00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:36,240 Hey, little fella. 571 00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:47,000 Angry? You're asking me if I'm angry? 572 00:41:47,720 --> 00:41:49,520 Don't know the meaning of the word angry. 573 00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:50,760 I'm fucking furious. 574 00:41:51,280 --> 00:41:54,360 I mean, let's bloody well break down what you did this afternoon. 575 00:41:54,440 --> 00:41:58,000 You arrive late, sweating like a bloody pedophile, 576 00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:00,360 and you spend most of your time in the bathroom sniffing coke. 577 00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:02,760 -I'm sorry, Mum. -Why don't you just admit it? 578 00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:05,240 You wanted to ruin this funeral from the start. 579 00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:07,360 -I didn't. -Oh, come on. 580 00:42:07,440 --> 00:42:09,040 You've always had a problem with her. 581 00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:10,840 This is your way of getting her back. 582 00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:12,640 No, it wasn't. I promise I was just... 583 00:42:12,720 --> 00:42:14,720 Okay? I'll be right back. 584 00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:18,960 Sorry, Mum, will you just excuse me a moment? 585 00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:20,320 No, don't! 586 00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:27,040 What are you doing? 587 00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:30,080 I'm showing solidarity. 588 00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:33,520 The best solidarity you can show is staying the fuck away. 589 00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:34,640 Oh, please. 590 00:42:34,720 --> 00:42:37,080 Only you could put your own selfish needs before a funeral. 591 00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:38,600 Look, I have told you, but-- 592 00:42:43,560 --> 00:42:44,560 Here. 593 00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:47,520 Look, you have done your bit. 594 00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:49,960 And that's lovely, but you need to stay away from him now. 595 00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:51,880 -Why do I? -Because you're only gonna hurt him again. 596 00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:53,720 Coming from you? All you do is hurt him. 597 00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:56,240 That's not true! I've visited him every week for four years now. 598 00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:58,000 I didn't flounce off with some fancy man 599 00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:00,200 and then come back because I couldn't stand the loneliness. 600 00:43:00,280 --> 00:43:02,000 -You are such a prick. -No, I'm not. 601 00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:04,960 I've done a damn sight more than you in all this. 602 00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:06,080 I've honored him in books. 603 00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:08,920 I changed the entire narrative around what he did to that poor bloke. 604 00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:11,440 That makes up for one lousy rotten fuck. 605 00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:12,960 -All of it. -Four years. 606 00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:14,640 That's what I told myself. 607 00:43:14,720 --> 00:43:16,840 If the guilt was still there, after four years, 608 00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:18,120 I was to do something about it. 609 00:43:18,200 --> 00:43:19,720 Well, you know what you can do about it? 610 00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:21,640 Kill yourself. 611 00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:23,440 Because you'd be dead anyway. 612 00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:30,040 Do you want to know the one thing that stops me 613 00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:31,440 from telling him most of all? 614 00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:36,720 It's not fear of how he'll react or how upset he'll be. 615 00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:40,480 It's because I can never quite figure out 616 00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:43,120 whether I want to tell him just to fuck you. 617 00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:47,560 Let him know what a traitorous little worm you are. 618 00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:51,840 Tell me what? 619 00:43:55,840 --> 00:43:57,280 Oh, sorry, Ruben. 620 00:43:57,360 --> 00:43:58,920 I thought you were downstairs with Baird. 621 00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:07,600 I mean, how long you been there for? 622 00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:09,160 Long enough. 623 00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:20,800 Where's your guard? 624 00:44:20,880 --> 00:44:23,280 He's in my pocket, that's where. 625 00:44:24,440 --> 00:44:26,080 Aren't you supposed to be with him at all times? 626 00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:27,160 Shut the fuck up. 627 00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:40,320 Sounds like there's something going on here that I should know about. 628 00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:44,200 No, there's not. 629 00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:48,000 Mona was just leaving, actually. 630 00:44:49,880 --> 00:44:51,120 No, you're fucking not. 631 00:44:57,720 --> 00:44:59,040 Not until you explain. 632 00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:03,720 Explain what? 633 00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:06,440 The hushed whispers, the fucking cupped conversation! 634 00:45:08,600 --> 00:45:10,480 Because last I heard, you weren't in touch. 635 00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:14,840 Now you're arguing like you shared a lifetime together. 636 00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:17,600 So what is it? 637 00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:25,840 What is it? 638 00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:41,560 I'm gonna give you ten seconds... 639 00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:45,200 to explain... 640 00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:50,680 what could be so fucking important 641 00:45:51,880 --> 00:45:54,160 that you'd take a time-out of my mother's funeral 642 00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:57,640 to come up here and chat away from me. 643 00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:06,080 So what is it? 644 00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:13,400 You motherfuckers. 645 00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:20,240 I mean, we can do a countdown if you want. 646 00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:23,040 -Ruben, listen. -Five, four... 647 00:46:23,120 --> 00:46:24,840 -No. -Ruben, please, just... just listen. 648 00:46:24,920 --> 00:46:26,280 -Three... -Ruben, please, it's-- 649 00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:27,360 Ruben! 650 00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:33,040 I-- I thought you were going for a piss. 651 00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:36,760 I was. 652 00:46:38,040 --> 00:46:39,280 I got caught up chatting. 653 00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:42,000 Well, you can't be doing that, son. 654 00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:44,400 I almost phoned you in. Come on. 655 00:46:47,560 --> 00:46:48,680 This isn't over. 656 00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:50,400 I know when you're fucking hiding something, yeah? 657 00:46:50,480 --> 00:46:51,480 Come on! 658 00:46:51,560 --> 00:46:53,200 I know when you're fucking lying to me, you rat. 659 00:46:53,280 --> 00:46:54,880 This is my mother's funeral! 660 00:46:54,960 --> 00:46:56,680 You little fucking lying cunt. 661 00:47:04,320 --> 00:47:05,520 I'll stay away, okay? 662 00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:08,200 I promise. 663 00:47:12,840 --> 00:47:13,840 Yeah. 664 00:47:38,240 --> 00:47:42,400 Here. Medications and some pamphlets. 665 00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:48,280 It's good roach paper, this. 666 00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:54,920 I'm joking. I'll read them. 667 00:47:58,920 --> 00:47:59,920 What happened? 668 00:48:01,440 --> 00:48:03,080 I was arrested and charged today. 669 00:48:05,200 --> 00:48:06,680 Crashed my car outside Bellona's. 670 00:48:06,760 --> 00:48:08,200 Jesus, Niall. 671 00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:10,120 Were you on meth? 672 00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:12,800 Yeah. 673 00:48:13,560 --> 00:48:15,560 My agent called, too. 674 00:48:16,200 --> 00:48:17,840 Someone pictured me outside. 675 00:48:19,600 --> 00:48:21,600 The Sun are gonna run a story on it. 676 00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:24,840 They're likely to mention the car park 677 00:48:26,080 --> 00:48:27,120 and where I was. 678 00:48:30,800 --> 00:48:32,320 Everyone's gonna know. 679 00:48:33,080 --> 00:48:34,240 Oh, Niall. 680 00:48:36,360 --> 00:48:39,040 This burden you carry, it's too much to bear. 681 00:48:40,080 --> 00:48:42,840 Don't you think the universe is pushing you to take action here? 682 00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:47,120 -I don't believe in that kind of stuff. -Well, I do. 683 00:48:48,560 --> 00:48:51,040 Is some article in a shit-rag paper 684 00:48:51,120 --> 00:48:53,600 really the way you want to out yourself to the world? 685 00:48:55,200 --> 00:48:57,600 I mean, what are you scared of exactly? 686 00:48:58,200 --> 00:49:00,160 What people might think. 687 00:49:02,320 --> 00:49:05,000 But don't all the important people in your life already know? 688 00:49:06,720 --> 00:49:07,920 Ruben doesn't. 689 00:49:09,600 --> 00:49:10,920 Oh, why don't you just tell him, Niall? 690 00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:12,160 I can't. 691 00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:15,560 I just... 692 00:49:17,480 --> 00:49:19,560 -I can't. -You can. 693 00:49:21,720 --> 00:49:24,920 It might be uneasy at first, 694 00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:28,320 but trust me, you will tap into a reserve of strength within you 695 00:49:28,400 --> 00:49:29,840 that you didn't even know you had. 696 00:49:31,360 --> 00:49:34,760 Use this as a chance to open yourself up to the world. 697 00:49:35,440 --> 00:49:37,840 It's that, or let a pigeon-brained journalist 698 00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:39,480 decide how to tell your story. 699 00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:43,160 Let's be honest, after your last two books, 700 00:49:43,240 --> 00:49:44,680 you can't really afford any more bad writing 701 00:49:44,760 --> 00:49:45,880 out there associated with you. 702 00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:47,320 Fuck you. 703 00:49:53,720 --> 00:49:54,720 Look, just... 704 00:49:55,880 --> 00:49:57,600 go down to the prison tomorrow, 705 00:49:57,680 --> 00:50:01,080 look him straight in the eye, and say, "This is me." 706 00:50:04,400 --> 00:50:06,960 Or else maybe you're not man enough to admit you fuck blokes. 707 00:50:13,360 --> 00:50:14,360 Cup of tea? 708 00:50:51,360 --> 00:50:53,080 I didn't think I'd see you again. 709 00:50:58,360 --> 00:51:00,240 Last time I put that kind of fear in you, 710 00:51:01,400 --> 00:51:02,800 we went over a decade. 711 00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:05,920 Yeah. 712 00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:11,480 So do you want to tell me what was going on between the two of you then? 713 00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:14,920 -Nothing. -Bullshit. 714 00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:17,560 -Fucking nothing. -Easy, Ruben. 715 00:51:17,640 --> 00:51:19,760 -I know something went down. -I'm gay. 716 00:51:23,720 --> 00:51:25,360 Well, I'm bi, but... 717 00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:29,600 maybe it's cleaner to say gay. 718 00:51:33,720 --> 00:51:35,560 -You're bi? -That's right. 719 00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:38,720 That's what me and Mona were arguing about. 720 00:51:38,800 --> 00:51:40,160 She wanted to tell you. 721 00:51:40,240 --> 00:51:42,280 To get me back for snitching about Benji. 722 00:51:47,960 --> 00:51:48,960 You're bi. 723 00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:51,000 Yeah. 724 00:51:51,080 --> 00:51:53,080 You? Bi? 725 00:51:53,160 --> 00:51:54,440 No, I-- 726 00:51:55,480 --> 00:51:56,920 I think I'm gay. Sorry. 727 00:51:57,640 --> 00:51:58,640 Let me retract. 728 00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:02,320 -I'm gay. -You're gay. 729 00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:03,400 I'm gay. 730 00:52:20,400 --> 00:52:22,400 -Well, you surprised, then? -Yeah. 731 00:52:22,480 --> 00:52:23,760 At you admitting it. 732 00:52:26,160 --> 00:52:28,560 Come on, Bambers, I've always had my suspicions. 733 00:52:29,120 --> 00:52:31,320 -Since when? -Since fucking forever. 734 00:52:31,400 --> 00:52:34,720 Since I found all that Doctor Who shit in your wardrobe, you nugget. 735 00:52:37,680 --> 00:52:38,680 Wait, so you're... 736 00:52:40,040 --> 00:52:41,600 -you're not annoyed? -Annoyed? 737 00:52:41,680 --> 00:52:43,160 What the fuck's it got to do with me? 738 00:52:43,240 --> 00:52:46,160 Well, you don't shy away from slurs, Ruben, at the best of times. 739 00:52:46,240 --> 00:52:48,120 -They're just words. -No, they're not just words. 740 00:52:48,200 --> 00:52:49,880 -They do damage. -Only if you let them. 741 00:52:49,960 --> 00:52:51,000 Well, I let them! 742 00:52:53,480 --> 00:52:56,080 I let them every day of my fucking life, Ruben! 743 00:53:01,440 --> 00:53:02,960 What do you mean, you're not annoyed? 744 00:53:03,960 --> 00:53:05,120 I'm not anything. 745 00:53:05,680 --> 00:53:08,160 I don't give a fuck who you stick it in. I mean, why would I? 746 00:53:08,240 --> 00:53:09,320 Our mums are bent. 747 00:53:09,400 --> 00:53:11,840 Yeah, but lesbians are cool. You said that all the time growing up. 748 00:53:12,640 --> 00:53:14,160 When I was like 17. 749 00:53:15,040 --> 00:53:16,400 If our mums had proved anything, 750 00:53:16,480 --> 00:53:18,400 it's that they're actually pretty fucking uncool. 751 00:53:21,720 --> 00:53:24,600 This is all your shit, son. This has got nothing to do with me. 752 00:53:24,680 --> 00:53:25,880 No chance, Ruben. 753 00:53:26,400 --> 00:53:28,000 You called me a faggot all the time. 754 00:53:28,080 --> 00:53:31,280 Yeah. I also called you ugly and thick, 755 00:53:31,360 --> 00:53:33,720 but you're not sitting here being all insecure about that. 756 00:53:37,520 --> 00:53:39,600 Do you want to know who the real homophobe was 757 00:53:40,320 --> 00:53:41,840 in your life? 758 00:53:44,360 --> 00:53:45,360 Come here. 759 00:53:47,080 --> 00:53:48,120 I'll tell you. 760 00:53:53,920 --> 00:53:55,000 You. 761 00:54:00,320 --> 00:54:02,000 You were the only one who cared, Niall. 762 00:54:03,440 --> 00:54:05,040 -You always have been. -No, not really. 763 00:54:05,120 --> 00:54:06,400 I was bullied pretty bad in school. 764 00:54:06,480 --> 00:54:08,640 You wouldn't believe the type of shit that they would say to me. 765 00:54:08,720 --> 00:54:10,040 Yeah, but you listened. 766 00:54:10,680 --> 00:54:13,400 March to the beat of your own drum, tends to drown out the other noise, 767 00:54:13,480 --> 00:54:14,640 that's what I say. 768 00:54:14,720 --> 00:54:18,400 -Yeah, but it's not that easy, Ruben. -It is, Niall. It is. 769 00:54:21,280 --> 00:54:22,760 You've wasted your whole life 770 00:54:23,560 --> 00:54:25,560 dancing to other people's tunes. 771 00:54:26,760 --> 00:54:29,080 But you've never had the rhythm, let's be honest. 772 00:54:29,160 --> 00:54:31,880 But I'll be fucked if I'm sitting here 773 00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:34,440 while you make out that I'm to blame for all your problems. 774 00:54:34,520 --> 00:54:36,800 I'll accept 10 to 15%, no more than that. 775 00:54:48,720 --> 00:54:49,880 So you're not annoyed? 776 00:54:50,600 --> 00:54:51,600 No. 777 00:54:53,240 --> 00:54:56,000 Proud, if anything. 778 00:54:59,560 --> 00:55:01,400 They can call us gay and proud. 779 00:55:09,920 --> 00:55:11,040 Wow, I... 780 00:55:15,920 --> 00:55:19,000 -I don't know what to say. -You don't have to say anything. 781 00:55:25,040 --> 00:55:26,240 Thank you. 782 00:55:38,960 --> 00:55:40,960 Can I tell you something, Niall? 783 00:55:42,800 --> 00:55:44,080 In the spirit of sharing. 784 00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:53,120 It's about my dad. 785 00:55:55,440 --> 00:55:56,440 Yeah. 786 00:55:58,560 --> 00:55:59,560 I hated him. 787 00:56:01,040 --> 00:56:02,200 I know. 788 00:56:05,280 --> 00:56:07,200 I hated him 'cause of what he did to me. 789 00:56:11,200 --> 00:56:12,360 He hit you and stuff? 790 00:56:16,960 --> 00:56:18,280 That was the best of it. 791 00:56:18,960 --> 00:56:20,040 Yeah? 792 00:56:32,880 --> 00:56:34,280 That was the best of it. 793 00:56:38,320 --> 00:56:40,160 Oh my God, Ruben, I'm so sorry. 794 00:56:44,400 --> 00:56:45,720 Fucks you up, man. 795 00:56:46,800 --> 00:56:49,320 -Makes you a fucking half-man. -No, mate. 796 00:56:50,360 --> 00:56:52,320 Mate, you're anything but a half-man. 797 00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:56,320 If you're a half-man, I hate to think what I am. 798 00:56:56,400 --> 00:56:59,080 A fucking quarter-man. A bloody dot-man. 799 00:56:59,160 --> 00:57:01,320 Yeah, but I spent my life proving it. 800 00:57:02,000 --> 00:57:04,440 You know, filling myself back up to the top. 801 00:57:04,520 --> 00:57:07,200 Well, you succeeded. No doubt about it. 802 00:57:10,400 --> 00:57:11,600 You know... 803 00:57:13,560 --> 00:57:14,920 My body would... 804 00:57:17,560 --> 00:57:19,160 respond sometimes, you know? 805 00:57:26,520 --> 00:57:27,600 Right. 806 00:57:30,400 --> 00:57:33,080 In a lot of ways, it's the closest I've ever been with someone. 807 00:57:40,040 --> 00:57:41,040 Is this too much? 808 00:57:42,360 --> 00:57:43,360 No. 809 00:57:45,160 --> 00:57:46,240 No, it's fine. 810 00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:52,080 You know, I would... 811 00:57:56,960 --> 00:57:58,840 I would cum sometimes. 812 00:57:59,800 --> 00:58:00,840 You know? 813 00:58:07,680 --> 00:58:08,760 It is too much. 814 00:58:09,520 --> 00:58:10,520 Sorry. 815 00:58:11,600 --> 00:58:12,600 It is too much. 816 00:58:19,400 --> 00:58:20,880 Do you think less of me? 817 00:58:25,040 --> 00:58:26,440 What? Of course not. 818 00:58:27,200 --> 00:58:28,800 Don't be ridiculous. You're... 819 00:58:29,920 --> 00:58:31,080 You're my hero. 820 00:58:32,160 --> 00:58:34,760 More so now that I know where you get your armor from. 821 00:58:38,520 --> 00:58:40,000 I'm so sorry. 822 00:58:40,080 --> 00:58:41,880 Hey, look, you don't need to be sorry, all right? 823 00:58:41,960 --> 00:58:44,720 You felt like you couldn't be honest with me. 824 00:58:44,800 --> 00:58:46,640 It was all me, all right? I'm so sorry. 825 00:58:46,720 --> 00:58:49,480 -I fucking love you, brother, yeah? -I fucking love you, man. 826 00:58:49,560 --> 00:58:52,240 -I fucking love you, yeah? -I fucking love you, brother. 827 00:58:52,320 --> 00:58:55,720 I fucking love you, brother, yeah? Fucking love you too, yeah? 828 00:58:56,440 --> 00:58:57,840 I fucking love you. 829 00:59:06,880 --> 00:59:07,920 Oh, fuck me. 830 00:59:08,440 --> 00:59:10,920 We definitely look like a couple of homosexuals now, eh? 831 00:59:17,000 --> 00:59:18,560 Oh, fucking hell. 832 00:59:20,560 --> 00:59:21,560 Oh, man. 833 00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:29,200 Fuck me. I feel lighter. Is there... 834 00:59:29,920 --> 00:59:31,800 Is there anything else you want to get off your chest? 835 00:59:33,560 --> 00:59:35,520 Yeah, I might as well get them all out now, eh? 836 00:59:35,600 --> 00:59:38,600 Yeah. Go on, go on. 837 00:59:40,640 --> 00:59:41,880 Oh, fuck. 838 00:59:43,560 --> 00:59:44,880 Do you see Alby? 839 00:59:45,800 --> 00:59:47,840 Yeah, the fucking bloke I mashed. 840 00:59:47,920 --> 00:59:49,000 -Yeah? -Yeah. 841 00:59:50,200 --> 00:59:52,960 -I'm seeing him. -What? No way! 842 00:59:53,840 --> 00:59:55,360 Yeah. 843 00:59:55,960 --> 00:59:57,840 -I think he's the one. -What? 844 00:59:57,920 --> 00:59:59,560 How long have you been together for? 845 00:59:59,640 --> 01:00:01,680 A week. Not even. 846 01:00:01,760 --> 01:00:03,560 What? You fucking mad cunt. 847 01:00:03,640 --> 01:00:04,880 You know when you know, right? 848 01:00:05,800 --> 01:00:06,880 I suppose. 849 01:00:07,360 --> 01:00:08,360 Wait, wait, hold on. 850 01:00:08,440 --> 01:00:10,440 Was that what he wanted to tell me in the kitchen that time? 851 01:00:10,520 --> 01:00:12,360 -Yeah. -You fucking cunt. 852 01:00:12,440 --> 01:00:14,920 I went to prison for over a decade because of that. 853 01:00:15,000 --> 01:00:16,440 I wouldn't have given a shit! 854 01:00:16,960 --> 01:00:19,440 You fucker. You fucking cunt. 855 01:00:20,920 --> 01:00:22,120 I'm sorry. 856 01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:28,560 Wait, you go! You go! 857 01:00:31,840 --> 01:00:33,080 You see Celeste? 858 01:00:33,160 --> 01:00:35,000 What, as in my ex-flatmate, Celeste? 859 01:00:35,080 --> 01:00:36,080 -Yeah. -Yeah. 860 01:00:36,160 --> 01:00:39,200 -I fucked her when I got out of prison. -What? No way! 861 01:00:39,280 --> 01:00:41,120 -Made it my mission. -What? She went for it? 862 01:00:41,200 --> 01:00:42,680 Like a dog to a boner. 863 01:00:45,200 --> 01:00:46,760 Didn't she fucking hate you? 864 01:00:46,840 --> 01:00:48,200 She fucking did, yeah. 865 01:00:48,280 --> 01:00:50,720 Fucking frog bitch almost broke my pelvis. 866 01:00:56,640 --> 01:00:58,520 Go on, you tell me something. 867 01:00:58,600 --> 01:01:00,920 -Go on, go on. -I fucking hated your mum. 868 01:01:01,000 --> 01:01:02,760 Yeah, I fucking hated yours too. 869 01:01:08,440 --> 01:01:11,440 You see how your gym kit would always go missing back at school? 870 01:01:11,520 --> 01:01:12,680 -Yeah. -That was me. 871 01:01:12,760 --> 01:01:14,640 Fuck. You fucker. 872 01:01:16,120 --> 01:01:18,360 Yeah, I just couldn't resist seeing you slipping 873 01:01:18,440 --> 01:01:20,880 around the football pitch in your awful fucking brogues. 874 01:01:21,480 --> 01:01:23,960 Yeah, I looked like a fucking tit every bastard week. 875 01:01:27,400 --> 01:01:29,760 You fucking cunt. You cunt. 876 01:01:40,160 --> 01:01:41,360 Okay. 877 01:01:43,200 --> 01:01:44,280 Anything else? 878 01:01:45,800 --> 01:01:48,560 Yeah, I fucked Mona while you were away. 879 01:01:55,120 --> 01:01:56,480 Baird's my child. 880 01:02:49,840 --> 01:02:51,800 He’s got some fucking fight in him, has he? 881 01:02:51,880 --> 01:02:53,280 -Come on! -No! 882 01:02:59,320 --> 01:03:00,360 Fuck! 883 01:03:30,520 --> 01:03:35,280 No! No! No! No! No! No! No! 884 01:03:48,480 --> 01:03:50,000 I fucking love you, brother, yeah? 885 01:03:50,080 --> 01:03:52,040 I fucking love you, yeah? 886 01:03:52,120 --> 01:03:53,360 Yeah! 887 01:06:12,120 --> 01:06:13,200 Fuck.