1 00:00:07,137 --> 00:00:09,879 Sorry it took so long. The line at the burrito place was crazy. 2 00:00:09,966 --> 00:00:11,707 -Also, I don't like being here. -Mm. 3 00:00:11,794 --> 00:00:14,362 What? Did he lose his protein powder? 4 00:00:14,536 --> 00:00:17,321 Uh, Vic thinks a bird has declared war 5 00:00:17,452 --> 00:00:19,584 -on the DMV, and he's gonna fight it. -GREGG: Ugh. 6 00:00:19,715 --> 00:00:21,021 The crow in the parking lot? 7 00:00:21,151 --> 00:00:22,544 I told you, don't bother that bird. 8 00:00:22,718 --> 00:00:23,849 It's way smarter than you. 9 00:00:23,980 --> 00:00:25,590 He's a bully! 10 00:00:25,764 --> 00:00:27,375 He terrorizes anyone 11 00:00:27,505 --> 00:00:29,116 who gets near histree. 12 00:00:29,203 --> 00:00:32,206 Oh, yeah. What business does a bird have in a tree? 13 00:00:32,380 --> 00:00:35,992 The guy clocks me driving up, and he starts stepping. 14 00:00:36,123 --> 00:00:38,777 Like, right off the bat, steps right up. 15 00:00:38,951 --> 00:00:40,910 -Ooh. -Got that look on his face. 16 00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:42,694 Uh, does he say anything? 17 00:00:42,868 --> 00:00:44,131 Yeah. 18 00:00:44,261 --> 00:00:46,916 -Looks at me and "Caw! Caw-caw!" -Oh. 19 00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,831 "Caw! Caw! Caw!" 20 00:00:48,961 --> 00:00:49,962 -It's hate-screech. -Mm-hmm. 21 00:00:50,093 --> 00:00:51,834 And it stops today, 'cause today, 22 00:00:51,964 --> 00:00:54,445 I stand up for the walkers. 23 00:00:54,576 --> 00:00:56,926 -Thank you for your service. -Mm. Way to go. 24 00:00:57,013 --> 00:00:58,710 Found what I was looking for. 25 00:00:58,841 --> 00:01:01,626 [imitates robotic whirring] 26 00:01:01,713 --> 00:01:04,760 Battle mode engaged. 27 00:01:08,590 --> 00:01:10,157 I'll figure it out. 28 00:01:10,287 --> 00:01:12,507 COLETTE: Yeah, it's good. It's good. 29 00:01:12,637 --> 00:01:14,422 [Vic laughs] 30 00:01:14,551 --> 00:01:16,424 -He's not well. -Mm-mm. 31 00:01:16,554 --> 00:01:19,905 FYI, I, um... I might not be too chatty today. 32 00:01:20,036 --> 00:01:21,385 -Great. -'Cause I can finally 33 00:01:21,515 --> 00:01:23,779 dig into this new book, Wild. 34 00:01:23,866 --> 00:01:27,174 It's about this tough woman who finds herself while hiking. 35 00:01:27,261 --> 00:01:31,874 Oh, yeah, the new book that the 2014 movie was based on? 36 00:01:32,003 --> 00:01:33,789 Yeah, I remember, and I rented the DVD 37 00:01:33,876 --> 00:01:36,747 from a library, back when they had DVDs. 38 00:01:36,878 --> 00:01:38,315 And libraries. 39 00:01:38,402 --> 00:01:40,664 Real funny, and real rich, coming from a guy 40 00:01:40,839 --> 00:01:42,928 who doesn't know how to turn the flashlight off on his phone. 41 00:01:43,015 --> 00:01:45,235 I know how. 42 00:01:47,803 --> 00:01:48,978 -Like that. -[crow cawing] 43 00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,719 [gasps] Oh, my God. 44 00:01:50,848 --> 00:01:52,155 What? Oh, my God. 45 00:01:52,286 --> 00:01:54,940 -COLETTE: Oh, my God. -Caw! Caw! Caw! 46 00:01:55,071 --> 00:01:57,116 -[crow cawing] -Caw, caw, caw! Caw, caw, caw! 47 00:01:57,204 --> 00:01:58,640 Ooh. Sneak attack. 48 00:01:58,770 --> 00:02:00,294 -[caws] -You caw! 49 00:02:00,424 --> 00:02:02,731 -I don't know who I'm rooting for. -I do. 50 00:02:02,861 --> 00:02:04,167 VIC: Aah! 51 00:02:04,254 --> 00:02:05,908 COLETTE: Run, Vic! Run! 52 00:02:05,995 --> 00:02:07,518 [cawing] 53 00:02:07,649 --> 00:02:08,824 -[ripping] -Oh, my God. It got the umbrella. 54 00:02:08,997 --> 00:02:11,131 -Oh, wow. -[cawing] 55 00:02:11,218 --> 00:02:13,176 ♪ ♪ 56 00:02:18,399 --> 00:02:19,922 Uh, excuse me? 57 00:02:20,052 --> 00:02:22,054 Um, what are you doing, throwing your smelly trash over here? 58 00:02:22,185 --> 00:02:24,840 The cans in the driving examiner area were full-ish, 59 00:02:24,927 --> 00:02:26,624 so I thought I'd put it in the big boy. 60 00:02:26,711 --> 00:02:28,409 You know that janitors only come at night, right? 61 00:02:28,496 --> 00:02:30,280 And the big boy fills up pretty quickly. 62 00:02:30,367 --> 00:02:31,934 It's us counter workers that are throwing the trash 63 00:02:32,064 --> 00:02:33,240 into the dumpsters all day long. 64 00:02:33,370 --> 00:02:34,415 Actually, it's just me. 65 00:02:34,545 --> 00:02:36,156 -Exactly. -I don't mind, though. 66 00:02:36,329 --> 00:02:38,027 I like the exercise. Plus, it hardly ever drips. 67 00:02:38,201 --> 00:02:40,029 -That's so nice of you. -My God. 68 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,074 -You are such a DEB. -A deb? 69 00:02:42,204 --> 00:02:44,381 Is that like... Oh, like a debutante. 70 00:02:44,468 --> 00:02:48,037 "DEB" stands for "Driving Examiner Babies." 71 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,865 That's what everybody calls you behind your backs. 72 00:02:49,995 --> 00:02:51,823 -What? Why? -It's 'cause 73 00:02:51,954 --> 00:02:53,912 you all act like you deserve special treatment, like babies. 74 00:02:54,043 --> 00:02:56,219 I don't think I deserve special treatment. 75 00:02:56,350 --> 00:02:58,090 When was the last time you cleaned out the coffee maker? 76 00:02:58,221 --> 00:03:00,354 I put the carafe in the sink. 77 00:03:00,484 --> 00:03:02,225 And I don't even drink coffee anymore. 78 00:03:02,356 --> 00:03:03,966 I switched to matcha because it's healthier. 79 00:03:04,096 --> 00:03:06,664 -Right. -And you avoid that, like, mid-morning crash. 80 00:03:06,795 --> 00:03:09,101 All I heard was, "DEB, DEB, DEB, DEB, DEB, matcha. 81 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,060 -DEB, DEB, DEB." -Don't sound like that. 82 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:12,931 You guys swear you're better than everyone else. 83 00:03:13,062 --> 00:03:14,629 Counter workers, security, janitors. 84 00:03:14,716 --> 00:03:16,805 Excuse me. I'm a woman of the people. 85 00:03:16,935 --> 00:03:19,155 -Oh. -And you can't use the word "janitor" anymore. 86 00:03:19,286 --> 00:03:21,766 The term is "custodial engineer." 87 00:03:21,897 --> 00:03:24,421 "DEB, DEB, DEB, not janitor, DEB, DEB, DEB." 88 00:03:24,552 --> 00:03:25,553 -[clapping hands sharply] -Next! 89 00:03:25,727 --> 00:03:27,076 I don't have all day. Let's go. 90 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,860 -You really need a matcha. -You can go. 91 00:03:28,991 --> 00:03:30,558 I'm gonna bring you one. 92 00:03:30,645 --> 00:03:32,212 [cawing] 93 00:03:34,301 --> 00:03:35,780 -Hey. -[Gregg chuckles] 94 00:03:35,911 --> 00:03:37,347 Hey. Birdman's still at it. 95 00:03:37,478 --> 00:03:41,177 Hey, you are not going to believe this. 96 00:03:41,308 --> 00:03:42,961 Apparently, people call us DEBs. 97 00:03:43,135 --> 00:03:45,137 -It stands for... -Driving Examiner Babies. 98 00:03:45,312 --> 00:03:47,227 -Yeah. -Yeah. Back in my day, 99 00:03:47,314 --> 00:03:48,966 the "B" stood for something different. 100 00:03:49,141 --> 00:03:50,621 Ceci says that we think we're better than everyone. 101 00:03:50,708 --> 00:03:52,667 Yes, we are. 102 00:03:52,797 --> 00:03:55,017 The best day of my life was when I became a DEB 103 00:03:55,147 --> 00:03:56,366 and stopped being a "county." 104 00:03:56,497 --> 00:03:59,761 Do not call counter workers that. 105 00:03:59,891 --> 00:04:01,502 Why didn't I know about any of this? 106 00:04:01,589 --> 00:04:03,982 Because you skipped working at the counter 107 00:04:04,156 --> 00:04:07,421 and went right to becoming a driving examiner somehow. 108 00:04:07,551 --> 00:04:08,987 Because I have a college degree, Gregg. 109 00:04:09,118 --> 00:04:10,511 -I do, too. -Mm. 110 00:04:10,598 --> 00:04:12,077 What other difference between you and I 111 00:04:12,208 --> 00:04:13,644 would put you on the fast track? 112 00:04:13,775 --> 00:04:15,733 -Mm. -Hmm. 113 00:04:15,864 --> 00:04:18,387 Maybe 'cause I'm younger and a female. 114 00:04:18,475 --> 00:04:20,129 Yeah, those are the only differences. 115 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,565 [crow cawing] 116 00:04:21,738 --> 00:04:23,045 I get it. 117 00:04:23,175 --> 00:04:24,786 You maybe have shredded my umbrella, 118 00:04:24,916 --> 00:04:27,136 but you'll never shred my spirit. 119 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:29,791 [yelling] 120 00:04:29,921 --> 00:04:32,183 Really? 121 00:04:32,315 --> 00:04:34,056 [quietly]: Ugh, that is... 122 00:04:34,230 --> 00:04:37,146 What in Dolly Parton's America happened to your head flap? 123 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:38,974 That darn crow ambushed me. 124 00:04:39,148 --> 00:04:40,715 Fell right into his trap. 125 00:04:40,802 --> 00:04:42,194 Animals can be territorial. 126 00:04:42,325 --> 00:04:44,240 My cats claimed my indoor bathroom. 127 00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:46,547 -You need to get that ear checked out. -Nah. 128 00:04:46,677 --> 00:04:48,897 -It's fine. I'm a quick healer. -Aah. I'm serious. 129 00:04:49,027 --> 00:04:50,332 You need to see a doctor. 130 00:04:50,464 --> 00:04:52,030 Don't believe in 'em. 131 00:04:52,204 --> 00:04:53,641 Never been sick for more than a day. 132 00:04:53,771 --> 00:04:55,207 All right, I'm gonna go pound these Figgy Newts 133 00:04:55,382 --> 00:04:56,948 and take down that crow. 134 00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:01,823 No biggie. It's just a little gift, gratis. 135 00:05:01,997 --> 00:05:05,783 Other driving examiners might be DEBs, but not this one. 136 00:05:05,870 --> 00:05:08,177 Nope, this one... this one gets it. 137 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,701 No, no, no, no, no, no. More cans means more time 138 00:05:10,832 --> 00:05:12,486 for trash to sit out here in our area. 139 00:05:12,616 --> 00:05:14,792 Colette, you just gifted us two stink bombs. 140 00:05:14,966 --> 00:05:16,403 I was trying to help. 141 00:05:16,577 --> 00:05:18,187 I just want to make things easier 142 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,842 for all the counter professionals. 143 00:05:20,929 --> 00:05:22,757 Easier? You want to know what would make things easier? 144 00:05:22,844 --> 00:05:24,236 If we had any of the benefits 145 00:05:24,367 --> 00:05:25,455 that you and those other two idiots have. 146 00:05:25,629 --> 00:05:28,502 Better pay, downtime in between tests, 147 00:05:28,632 --> 00:05:30,765 no customers that suck up to us because they want to pass. 148 00:05:30,895 --> 00:05:32,244 Oh, God. Best of all, you guys have your own private, 149 00:05:32,419 --> 00:05:33,811 first-class lounge. 150 00:05:33,942 --> 00:05:35,422 Do you mean our desks? 151 00:05:35,552 --> 00:05:38,686 Yeah. A quiet sanctuary, away from customers. 152 00:05:38,773 --> 00:05:40,340 God, even our regional manager has her own space, 153 00:05:40,470 --> 00:05:41,819 and she's never even here. 154 00:05:41,906 --> 00:05:43,778 Those reegies. I've had it up to here. 155 00:05:43,908 --> 00:05:44,953 Give me some. 156 00:05:45,082 --> 00:05:47,347 Please don't. Yeah. 157 00:05:47,521 --> 00:05:50,045 We are on display like animals at a zoo, 158 00:05:50,175 --> 00:05:51,394 except for at this zoo, 159 00:05:51,481 --> 00:05:53,135 the people watching us are also animals. 160 00:05:53,222 --> 00:05:54,441 [knocking] 161 00:05:54,571 --> 00:05:56,747 I'm so sorry. I'm-I'm on my break. 162 00:05:56,878 --> 00:05:59,489 Oh, I'm sorry. I'm actually on my break, too, 163 00:05:59,620 --> 00:06:02,187 except I'm a medical doctor 164 00:06:02,318 --> 00:06:04,451 who will be returning to a life-saving surgery. 165 00:06:04,581 --> 00:06:06,322 So... 166 00:06:06,453 --> 00:06:08,106 whose time is more valuable? 167 00:06:09,934 --> 00:06:11,675 I'm indicating balance, but in reality, it is my time. 168 00:06:11,849 --> 00:06:13,590 CECI: We can't even 169 00:06:13,764 --> 00:06:15,418 finish our paperwork, let alone get a second to ourselves. 170 00:06:15,549 --> 00:06:17,072 It's always, "I have a surgery to get to," 171 00:06:17,202 --> 00:06:18,856 "Oh, I have kids to pick up," 172 00:06:18,987 --> 00:06:20,467 "Oh, please, can you stash this bag underneath your counter? 173 00:06:20,597 --> 00:06:22,207 I'll be back for it in three weeks." 174 00:06:22,338 --> 00:06:23,731 I have to deal with stuff, too. 175 00:06:23,861 --> 00:06:25,950 Like... drivers, 176 00:06:26,124 --> 00:06:28,910 and... examining them. 177 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:30,607 AUTOMATED VOICE: Now serving G... 178 00:06:30,694 --> 00:06:32,870 ♪ ♪ 179 00:06:33,871 --> 00:06:35,656 Since nobody sits here, 180 00:06:35,743 --> 00:06:38,093 feel free to use it whenever you need to. 181 00:06:38,180 --> 00:06:41,139 -Mi casa es su...desk. -CECI: Nah. 182 00:06:41,270 --> 00:06:43,011 This feels like a set-up. 183 00:06:43,141 --> 00:06:44,752 Like when a department store puts a rack of clothing outside. 184 00:06:44,882 --> 00:06:47,276 This is not a set-up. It's just an olive branch, 185 00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:48,756 which is, you know, a symbol of peace. 186 00:06:48,886 --> 00:06:51,498 But you know, I'm not trying to DEB-splain. 187 00:06:51,628 --> 00:06:53,761 -So we can really take our breaks here? -Yeah. 188 00:06:53,891 --> 00:06:55,284 Because, as Ceci pointed out, 189 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,112 the wasps in the break room are mating. 190 00:06:57,199 --> 00:06:59,114 -Yeah, they are. -Yeah. 191 00:06:59,244 --> 00:07:00,681 Hey, is it okay if I, um, listen 192 00:07:00,768 --> 00:07:02,900 to some really cool, woodwind-only music? 193 00:07:03,031 --> 00:07:05,381 Yeah, that's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 194 00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:07,165 I just... I just want you to make this your own. Yeah. 195 00:07:07,296 --> 00:07:09,603 -[radio static] -I just... I'm here to help and uplift. 196 00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:11,126 -[radio plays woodwind music] -Actually, this is really nice. 197 00:07:11,213 --> 00:07:13,171 I have plenty of room to bedazzle the hats 198 00:07:13,302 --> 00:07:14,434 for my high school reunion. 199 00:07:14,564 --> 00:07:15,739 Absolutely. 200 00:07:17,132 --> 00:07:19,961 -Ah. Didn't know we were expecting company. -COLETTE: Mm. 201 00:07:20,091 --> 00:07:21,223 GREGG: Is this my retirement party? 202 00:07:21,353 --> 00:07:23,225 Please be my retirement party. 203 00:07:23,355 --> 00:07:24,444 We are just opening things up, 204 00:07:24,574 --> 00:07:26,881 'cause there's no divisions at the DMV. 205 00:07:26,968 --> 00:07:28,535 I can't hear what you're saying, 206 00:07:28,622 --> 00:07:30,493 'cause there's still some beak in my ear canal. 207 00:07:30,624 --> 00:07:32,887 -Mm-hmm. -But I can tell by the shapes 208 00:07:32,974 --> 00:07:35,933 your mouth is making that it's a big pile of doggie doobs. 209 00:07:36,107 --> 00:07:37,805 You're both such DEBs. 210 00:07:37,935 --> 00:07:39,197 Can you just trust me? 211 00:07:39,328 --> 00:07:40,372 I think this is gonna be so much better. 212 00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:43,680 All right! So this is the hang zone. 213 00:07:43,811 --> 00:07:45,552 -What's up, Scottie?! -Hey. 214 00:07:45,682 --> 00:07:47,510 The gang from Written Tests will be here in a minute. 215 00:07:47,641 --> 00:07:49,338 You know, they're just nuking some fish sticks. 216 00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:50,992 COLETTE [chuckling weakly]: Oh. 217 00:07:51,122 --> 00:07:52,297 -Mm. -[crunching chips] 218 00:07:52,428 --> 00:07:54,648 What's that disease 219 00:07:54,822 --> 00:07:56,693 where it really bothers you when people are chewing 220 00:07:56,824 --> 00:07:58,260 close to your ear? Yeah. 221 00:07:58,433 --> 00:08:00,697 Really glad I don't have that. [laughs] 222 00:08:02,003 --> 00:08:03,483 Ah. 223 00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:05,702 This is exactly what I wanted. 224 00:08:11,273 --> 00:08:12,796 CECI: Shut up. 225 00:08:12,927 --> 00:08:15,451 Shut up right now. Oh, my God. No me digas. 226 00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:17,409 Bianca is not coming to the reunion. You are kidding me. 227 00:08:17,540 --> 00:08:19,194 You are kidding me. I bet you 228 00:08:19,281 --> 00:08:20,587 she's gonna stuff the ballot for Best Hair. 229 00:08:20,717 --> 00:08:22,284 If it's anything like high school, 230 00:08:22,457 --> 00:08:24,460 it's not the only thing she's gonna be stuffing. 231 00:08:24,591 --> 00:08:26,810 Ah! [laughs] My God. 232 00:08:26,984 --> 00:08:28,682 That girl cannot post a picture on Instagram 233 00:08:28,812 --> 00:08:32,381 without using the Paris filter, I swear, girl. 234 00:08:32,511 --> 00:08:33,600 How's your utopia? 235 00:08:34,688 --> 00:08:36,690 We're all adjusting to progress. 236 00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:39,953 Yeah. Does this extra noise make it a little harder 237 00:08:40,128 --> 00:08:42,826 for me to focus on one woman's journey from lost to found? 238 00:08:42,957 --> 00:08:45,002 Sure, but that's... It's a small price to pay... 239 00:08:45,133 --> 00:08:46,656 Hey, is that Wild? 240 00:08:46,743 --> 00:08:49,746 -Oh. Isn't it incredible? -Yeah, so far. 241 00:08:49,833 --> 00:08:51,922 I'm just having a little trouble getting into it. 242 00:08:52,096 --> 00:08:53,794 Hey, you wait until the moment where she uses heroin. 243 00:08:53,924 --> 00:08:56,927 I did not see it coming. [laughs airily] 244 00:08:57,058 --> 00:08:58,973 CECI: Oh, my God. I swear. 245 00:08:59,103 --> 00:09:01,932 How does it feel to have something wonderful ruined? 246 00:09:02,106 --> 00:09:04,239 CECI: There is no way the Salazar twins are going. 247 00:09:04,369 --> 00:09:06,197 And one of them got ugly? I told you. 248 00:09:06,284 --> 00:09:08,678 I freaking called it when I was 15 years old. 249 00:09:08,809 --> 00:09:10,419 I knew she was gonna get fat. 250 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:13,204 I am still stuck here, so tell the anesthesiologist 251 00:09:13,335 --> 00:09:14,728 that we'll be starting late. 252 00:09:14,858 --> 00:09:16,947 I guess just put my smoothie in the freezer. 253 00:09:17,078 --> 00:09:19,080 Straw out. 254 00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:21,691 Oh. Uh, got to go. 255 00:09:21,822 --> 00:09:23,737 I hear you're a doctor. I'm the manager, Barb. 256 00:09:23,867 --> 00:09:27,479 Well, Barb, you remind me a lot of my ex-wife, 257 00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:30,265 because I'm waiting, waiting, waiting. 258 00:09:30,395 --> 00:09:31,919 "Oh, what's that? We missed our flight?" 259 00:09:32,049 --> 00:09:34,617 Seriously, this is worse than the ER. 260 00:09:34,704 --> 00:09:38,316 Listen, I can get you out of here quick 261 00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:41,102 if you do me a small, little favor. 262 00:09:41,276 --> 00:09:42,233 Teat for tat. 263 00:09:42,407 --> 00:09:43,800 You're saying if I help you, 264 00:09:43,931 --> 00:09:45,323 you'll bump me to the front of the line? 265 00:09:45,454 --> 00:09:47,848 I'm not gonna give you any pills, though. 266 00:09:47,935 --> 00:09:49,501 I don't have my prescription pad on me. 267 00:09:49,676 --> 00:09:51,025 Actually, you know what? 268 00:09:51,112 --> 00:09:53,027 Let me see if I have any loosies in my purse. 269 00:09:53,114 --> 00:09:55,072 Usually got a couple of those suckers in here. 270 00:09:55,246 --> 00:09:57,597 Uh, uh, what, lady? 271 00:09:57,771 --> 00:09:59,250 You think just because you're a doctor, 272 00:09:59,337 --> 00:10:00,730 I'm gonna bump you up to the front of the line? 273 00:10:00,904 --> 00:10:02,993 -Get out of here. -[overlapping chatter] 274 00:10:03,124 --> 00:10:04,038 Uh-oh. 275 00:10:04,168 --> 00:10:06,823 Go! Illegal move by the doctor! 276 00:10:06,954 --> 00:10:08,738 Go! 277 00:10:08,912 --> 00:10:11,393 Double back to test. 278 00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:13,090 You got to go. 279 00:10:13,264 --> 00:10:15,049 Okay, I actually... 280 00:10:15,136 --> 00:10:16,920 I do want to get you a prescription. 281 00:10:17,051 --> 00:10:20,054 Or something, but we can... talk about that later. 282 00:10:20,184 --> 00:10:22,360 Okay. Thank you. 283 00:10:27,061 --> 00:10:28,715 Empty. 284 00:10:28,845 --> 00:10:30,020 Ooh. 285 00:10:30,107 --> 00:10:32,196 Yes. 286 00:10:37,071 --> 00:10:38,855 Hi, Gregg. 287 00:10:38,986 --> 00:10:41,075 Colette turned me on to this new book-- 288 00:10:41,162 --> 00:10:42,729 The Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell. 289 00:10:42,859 --> 00:10:45,340 -Have you read this? -It's not new. 290 00:10:45,470 --> 00:10:47,298 How can you both be like this? 291 00:10:47,429 --> 00:10:48,865 And where is Colette? 292 00:10:48,952 --> 00:10:50,562 I... I don't know. I'm not too sure. 293 00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:52,303 But have you read this? 294 00:10:52,390 --> 00:10:54,392 I didn't need to read it. Colette talked to me about it 295 00:10:54,523 --> 00:10:56,264 for 10,000 hours. 296 00:10:56,394 --> 00:10:57,700 Oh, my God, Gregg. 297 00:10:57,787 --> 00:10:59,963 That is a major premise of this book. 298 00:11:00,094 --> 00:11:01,965 [loud, heavy sigh] 299 00:11:18,068 --> 00:11:20,114 You're just gonna stay straight, and you won't turn right 300 00:11:20,244 --> 00:11:22,682 until you hit the hot dog stand with the wiener man on the top. 301 00:11:22,856 --> 00:11:25,467 Here's a random question to pass time during the driving test. 302 00:11:25,597 --> 00:11:27,599 Do you feel like you have a fever? 303 00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:29,732 -Fever? -Headache? Tenderness? 304 00:11:29,863 --> 00:11:31,473 Difficulty urinating? 305 00:11:31,603 --> 00:11:34,258 Whoa. What's with the 'gaish? 306 00:11:34,389 --> 00:11:36,130 Interrogaish. 307 00:11:36,217 --> 00:11:37,653 [laughs] 308 00:11:37,784 --> 00:11:39,960 Um, the q... uh... all the questions? 309 00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:42,789 I have a friend who'd be perfect for you. 310 00:11:42,919 --> 00:11:44,225 I hate her. 311 00:11:44,355 --> 00:11:47,010 Anyway, your ear is oozing on my headrest. 312 00:11:47,141 --> 00:11:49,491 -Ew. -Tell me, can you hear this? 313 00:11:49,578 --> 00:11:51,275 Hear what? [laughs] 314 00:11:51,406 --> 00:11:53,234 What? Do you not know how to snap? 315 00:11:53,321 --> 00:11:55,627 -I mean, everyone knows it's like this. -[snapping] 316 00:11:55,802 --> 00:11:58,456 Oh, God. I can't make a sound, either. 317 00:11:58,587 --> 00:12:01,068 What's wrong? Are we dead? 318 00:12:01,198 --> 00:12:03,374 Here, drive into that tree. 319 00:12:03,505 --> 00:12:05,115 No. You can make a sound. 320 00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:07,944 You just can't hear it, 'cause your ear's infected. 321 00:12:08,075 --> 00:12:09,511 I'm a doctor. 322 00:12:09,641 --> 00:12:10,947 Well, surgeon. 323 00:12:11,034 --> 00:12:12,644 I make six figures. 324 00:12:12,775 --> 00:12:14,385 And that's after settlements. 325 00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:17,214 Anyway, your manager asked me to take a look. 326 00:12:17,301 --> 00:12:18,868 Barb put you up to this? 327 00:12:18,999 --> 00:12:21,218 I don't know. All I can see is a vest. 328 00:12:21,305 --> 00:12:26,093 Barb? You had a doctor examine me while I was examining her? 329 00:12:26,267 --> 00:12:28,269 What kind of a confusing, 330 00:12:28,399 --> 00:12:30,619 one-hour procedural drama is this? 331 00:12:30,706 --> 00:12:32,752 I'm sorry, but you needed medical attention. 332 00:12:32,882 --> 00:12:35,842 That's the only kind of attention I don't need. 333 00:12:35,929 --> 00:12:38,845 AUTOMATED VOICE: Now serving B30 at window... 334 00:12:38,975 --> 00:12:41,021 What's the diagnosis, Doc? 335 00:12:41,108 --> 00:12:45,112 The diagnosis, uh, is that the DMV sucks. 336 00:12:45,199 --> 00:12:46,896 [laughs] 337 00:12:46,983 --> 00:12:50,857 And also, that man does need antibiotics. 338 00:12:51,031 --> 00:12:53,294 And possibly a psych eval. 339 00:12:53,424 --> 00:12:54,643 -That's what I thought. -In fact, I would 340 00:12:54,817 --> 00:12:56,688 recommend a psych eval for 341 00:12:56,819 --> 00:12:58,690 nearly everyone who works here. 342 00:13:02,129 --> 00:13:03,217 Whoa. 343 00:13:03,304 --> 00:13:04,696 What is going on? 344 00:13:04,871 --> 00:13:07,351 Why is everyone in my-- 345 00:13:07,525 --> 00:13:09,092 um, in Patty's office? 346 00:13:09,223 --> 00:13:13,270 Uh-oh. Looks like somebody sent all the riffraff here, 347 00:13:13,357 --> 00:13:15,316 so that he could have some peace at his desk. 348 00:13:15,446 --> 00:13:17,187 Sorry about your secret hideaway. 349 00:13:17,318 --> 00:13:19,886 It's not a secret hideaway. It is just a place to come 350 00:13:20,016 --> 00:13:22,279 between stressful driving tests that, you know, 351 00:13:22,366 --> 00:13:24,455 is free from the stank of microwaved fish. 352 00:13:24,542 --> 00:13:26,022 But you didn't tell anyone about it, 353 00:13:26,109 --> 00:13:27,807 which is curious, because I thought 354 00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:29,547 you didn't want any division. 355 00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:33,073 I don't. It's just, there's a lot of them, 356 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:35,727 and not to generalize, but they are loud, 357 00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:37,512 and they chew with their mouths open. 358 00:13:37,599 --> 00:13:39,340 GREGG: And this is why 359 00:13:39,470 --> 00:13:42,038 things are the way they are, and it's pointless to make a change. 360 00:13:42,125 --> 00:13:44,040 It's not pointless. It's important. 361 00:13:44,214 --> 00:13:47,391 I just... I didn't how many of them would be on a break 362 00:13:47,522 --> 00:13:49,089 so often, and I'm just trying 363 00:13:49,219 --> 00:13:51,831 to get away for a few minutes to read a book 364 00:13:51,961 --> 00:13:53,571 that I already know the ending of 365 00:13:53,702 --> 00:13:55,617 because someone ruined it for me. 366 00:13:55,747 --> 00:13:57,140 But I can't even sit at my desk, 367 00:13:57,271 --> 00:13:59,099 because my chair is covered in rhinestones. 368 00:13:59,186 --> 00:14:01,928 But then, I finally find a little space for myself. 369 00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:04,017 And I walk in to see it's also been taken over 370 00:14:04,147 --> 00:14:05,845 by a bunch of fricking counties. 371 00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:07,977 [people gasping] 372 00:14:08,151 --> 00:14:10,458 Classic DEB, right? 373 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,162 Did you just call us counties? 374 00:14:19,293 --> 00:14:22,209 Oh, my God. I-I can't believe that I-I said that. 375 00:14:22,383 --> 00:14:24,820 Wow, Colette. Just wow. 376 00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:27,214 I have never used that word before, 377 00:14:27,388 --> 00:14:31,348 except when discussing municipal geography, like L.A. County. 378 00:14:31,435 --> 00:14:33,915 -Sorry. I said it again. -CECI: No, no, no. 379 00:14:34,003 --> 00:14:35,918 Admit it. You're a DEB-- 380 00:14:36,049 --> 00:14:38,312 a Driving Examiner Baby. 381 00:14:38,399 --> 00:14:39,922 Ceci, I was just trying to bring everyone together. 382 00:14:40,053 --> 00:14:41,750 CECI: I don't know why, because 383 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,621 you clearly think you are so much better than us. 384 00:14:43,752 --> 00:14:45,188 You know what? Counties, 385 00:14:45,275 --> 00:14:46,973 let's go back to where we came from, okay? 386 00:14:47,103 --> 00:14:49,671 You don't have to go. We can all stay, like Scottie, my boy. 387 00:14:49,801 --> 00:14:51,238 Noa, please. 388 00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:52,587 -We're still good, right? -Well... 389 00:14:52,761 --> 00:14:54,545 Monica. Jill. 390 00:14:54,632 --> 00:14:56,069 I mean, it's Joyce, is it? 391 00:14:56,199 --> 00:14:57,418 It's Jilloyce. You went to her wedding. 392 00:14:57,548 --> 00:14:59,899 Jilloyce. How's that flatware working out? 393 00:15:00,029 --> 00:15:01,248 You know what I think, Colette? 394 00:15:01,422 --> 00:15:03,032 I think you'll never understand what it's like 395 00:15:03,206 --> 00:15:05,252 to work behind a counter 'cause you haven't had to. 396 00:15:05,382 --> 00:15:06,601 That's why you're so clueless. 397 00:15:06,731 --> 00:15:08,037 GREGG: Oh, look, 398 00:15:08,168 --> 00:15:10,257 you got your secret place back again. 399 00:15:10,431 --> 00:15:12,302 What am I supposed to do? 400 00:15:12,433 --> 00:15:16,045 I can't go back in time and work the counter. 401 00:15:16,219 --> 00:15:17,917 You're gonna say, "Unless..." 402 00:15:18,047 --> 00:15:20,180 -Unless. -Yup. 403 00:15:22,008 --> 00:15:23,357 Colette, what... what are you doing? 404 00:15:23,487 --> 00:15:25,054 The work, Noa. 405 00:15:25,228 --> 00:15:26,490 I'm doing the work. 406 00:15:27,535 --> 00:15:29,493 Specifically, though, what is the work? 407 00:15:29,580 --> 00:15:31,756 Is there a log-in? 408 00:15:31,887 --> 00:15:33,933 You know-- I'll figure it out. 409 00:15:34,063 --> 00:15:35,847 -Okay. -When Barb gave me permission, 410 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,241 she didn't exactly tell me what to do. 411 00:15:38,372 --> 00:15:40,765 Hello, sir. Welcome to the DMV. 412 00:15:40,896 --> 00:15:43,855 I need this boat registered by noon, or I lose my kids. 413 00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,770 I didn't know that we did water vehicles. 414 00:15:45,901 --> 00:15:50,297 How about that? Noa, is there a boat button? 415 00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:51,298 They really threw me in the deep end here. 416 00:15:51,472 --> 00:15:53,039 [laughs] Boat humor. 417 00:15:53,169 --> 00:15:55,128 ["I Want My Minutes Back" by Snapped Ankles playing] 418 00:15:55,258 --> 00:15:56,651 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh♪ 419 00:15:56,781 --> 00:15:58,174 ♪ I want my minutes back♪ 420 00:15:58,261 --> 00:15:59,654 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh...♪ 421 00:15:59,784 --> 00:16:01,395 Whoops. I have... I've locked myself out. 422 00:16:01,525 --> 00:16:02,700 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh♪ 423 00:16:02,831 --> 00:16:03,963 ♪ I want my minutes back♪ 424 00:16:04,093 --> 00:16:05,442 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh♪ 425 00:16:05,573 --> 00:16:06,835 ♪ I want my minutes back...♪ 426 00:16:06,922 --> 00:16:07,662 DR. JACOBS: Yeah. I'd like to go 427 00:16:07,836 --> 00:16:09,098 on the record to say that I... 428 00:16:09,272 --> 00:16:10,970 Whoops. I've been locked out again. 429 00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:12,928 -Can you...? I need a little help. -Okay. 430 00:16:13,059 --> 00:16:14,669 Am I on a hidden camera show or something? 431 00:16:14,799 --> 00:16:16,236 Sorry. Uh, uh, just a minute. 432 00:16:18,064 --> 00:16:20,283 It's not working. That one's dead. 433 00:16:20,370 --> 00:16:21,893 You need some better... We need some better staplers. 434 00:16:22,068 --> 00:16:23,199 -Here. -Uh, great. 435 00:16:23,330 --> 00:16:24,853 ♪ ♪ 436 00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:27,551 Well, you're not gonna believe it, 437 00:16:27,682 --> 00:16:30,511 but I... I just locked you out. I locked you out. 438 00:16:30,641 --> 00:16:34,036 Excuse me. Uh, Colette, I cannot take this fine doctor's photos 439 00:16:34,123 --> 00:16:36,647 because her paperwork is not correct. 440 00:16:36,778 --> 00:16:38,214 -Isn't it? -CECI: Also, 441 00:16:38,345 --> 00:16:39,955 -these are all wrong, too. -Oh. 442 00:16:40,086 --> 00:16:41,304 ♪ I want my minutes back...♪ 443 00:16:41,435 --> 00:16:44,351 You know what? I just won't drive. 444 00:16:44,438 --> 00:16:47,006 ♪ I want, I want, I want my minutes back.♪ 445 00:16:47,136 --> 00:16:48,833 [crow cawing] 446 00:16:52,620 --> 00:16:53,925 You wanted to see me? 447 00:16:54,056 --> 00:16:55,536 -Oh, yeah. -Oh, I get it. 448 00:16:55,710 --> 00:16:58,060 You're gonna stab me in the back for real this time. 449 00:16:58,191 --> 00:16:59,714 A guy with your build? 450 00:16:59,801 --> 00:17:01,368 I would need a seven-inch serrated knife 451 00:17:01,498 --> 00:17:03,370 to reach your vital organs. 452 00:17:03,457 --> 00:17:05,720 No, silly. I'm cutting the crust off your grilled cheese. 453 00:17:06,763 --> 00:17:08,027 Grilled cheese. 454 00:17:08,114 --> 00:17:10,333 Okay, you've got five minutes. 455 00:17:10,464 --> 00:17:12,944 I made it just the way you like it. 456 00:17:13,031 --> 00:17:15,034 Keto bread, mozzarella and two Babybels? 457 00:17:15,208 --> 00:17:16,818 -With the wax still on? -With the wax still on. 458 00:17:16,905 --> 00:17:18,124 Thanks. 459 00:17:19,646 --> 00:17:22,345 So, this anti-doctor thing-- did you read it online, or...? 460 00:17:24,781 --> 00:17:26,741 No, I'm just... 461 00:17:27,698 --> 00:17:28,917 I'm scared. 462 00:17:29,961 --> 00:17:31,485 I'm scared of a lot of things. 463 00:17:31,572 --> 00:17:33,400 Like my Aunt Judy, whenever the Browns lose, 464 00:17:33,530 --> 00:17:35,054 which is basically all the time. 465 00:17:37,404 --> 00:17:40,146 The last time I saw my meemaw was right before 466 00:17:40,233 --> 00:17:41,886 she went to the hospital for hip surgery. 467 00:17:42,017 --> 00:17:44,063 They told her everything was gonna be okay. 468 00:17:45,325 --> 00:17:48,284 I went into the foster system right after that. 469 00:17:48,371 --> 00:17:49,720 Oh, buddy. 470 00:17:49,807 --> 00:17:52,245 That's why... that's why I don't like doctors. 471 00:17:52,375 --> 00:17:54,551 Now I need a grilled cheese. 472 00:17:54,725 --> 00:17:56,727 Well, let's go halfsies. 473 00:17:56,901 --> 00:17:57,772 -[gasps] -What? 474 00:17:57,902 --> 00:18:01,036 Are these... pills? 475 00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:03,212 Were you...? Seriously, were you trying to drug me? 476 00:18:03,343 --> 00:18:05,475 They're muscle relaxers. I slipped them in there 477 00:18:05,649 --> 00:18:06,998 to try to take you to urgent care against your will. 478 00:18:07,173 --> 00:18:09,740 -Seriously?! -I'm sorry, buddy. 479 00:18:09,827 --> 00:18:11,916 -It's just that... -This... 480 00:18:12,047 --> 00:18:15,311 is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me. 481 00:18:15,398 --> 00:18:16,225 [sighs] 482 00:18:16,399 --> 00:18:18,053 You really care, Barb. 483 00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:19,533 Of course. You're my special guy. 484 00:18:19,663 --> 00:18:21,361 Well, if I go see the doctor, would you come with? 485 00:18:21,448 --> 00:18:23,711 -Yeah, sure. -And maybe milkshakes after? 486 00:18:23,841 --> 00:18:25,321 Yeah, sure. 487 00:18:25,452 --> 00:18:27,541 And stop at the mall for back-to-school sneakers? 488 00:18:27,671 --> 00:18:29,543 Milkshakes. 489 00:18:29,673 --> 00:18:31,588 Ugh. 490 00:18:31,675 --> 00:18:33,851 The counter is no joke. 491 00:18:33,982 --> 00:18:35,331 I barely had time to check my texts, 492 00:18:35,462 --> 00:18:37,507 or, like, cry quietly into the crook of my elbow. 493 00:18:37,638 --> 00:18:40,075 Quietly? Mama, I heard you wailing louder than when 494 00:18:40,249 --> 00:18:42,033 you found out chipmunks only live to be three years old. 495 00:18:42,164 --> 00:18:45,907 Their little hearts beat so fast. 496 00:18:46,081 --> 00:18:48,562 I-I can't believe that I worked here for so long 497 00:18:48,692 --> 00:18:50,999 without understanding what you deal with. 498 00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:53,828 -You guys are warriors. -NOA: Aw. 499 00:18:54,002 --> 00:18:55,569 Well, hey, we were also saying 500 00:18:55,656 --> 00:18:58,833 that we were kind of impressed with you, too. 501 00:18:59,007 --> 00:19:00,443 You were? Ceci, you said that? 502 00:19:00,574 --> 00:19:02,141 I didn't say it. 503 00:19:02,271 --> 00:19:05,883 -I maybe shrugged when he said it. -Aw. 504 00:19:06,014 --> 00:19:07,624 All right, put it back in your pants. Relax. 505 00:19:07,711 --> 00:19:09,713 We were just saying that no other driving examiners 506 00:19:09,887 --> 00:19:12,412 have ever voluntarily come to work the counters with us. 507 00:19:12,499 --> 00:19:15,023 Well, I'll be back tomorrow. I'm gonna talk 508 00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,373 to Barb, move some things around. 509 00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:19,288 And this time, I will know 510 00:19:19,375 --> 00:19:21,247 that an Audi is a type of car, not a belly button. 511 00:19:21,377 --> 00:19:23,205 Yeah, no need to come back. You know, 512 00:19:23,336 --> 00:19:24,728 be the change you wish to see in the world, 513 00:19:24,859 --> 00:19:26,556 and all the places you'll go. 514 00:19:26,687 --> 00:19:27,818 -You did great. Noa, help me. -Uh, yeah. No, no. Yup. 515 00:19:27,905 --> 00:19:29,516 -Please. -Yup, you crushed it. Crushed... 516 00:19:29,603 --> 00:19:30,691 You don't want me to work the counter again, 517 00:19:30,865 --> 00:19:32,475 cause I... I sucked at it. 518 00:19:32,562 --> 00:19:34,434 -That's very true, yes. -You were so terrible. Yeah. 519 00:19:34,564 --> 00:19:36,044 Someone named Colette came through my line. 520 00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,438 Took us a full hour to figure out what was going on. 521 00:19:38,525 --> 00:19:40,483 Look, you may not be built for county life. 522 00:19:40,614 --> 00:19:43,443 But you know what else you're not? A DEB. 523 00:19:43,530 --> 00:19:46,315 Because a DEB would never admit they suck. 524 00:19:46,402 --> 00:19:48,274 I guess I'm in my own special category, 525 00:19:48,404 --> 00:19:51,407 -just like my gynecologist says. -Mm. 526 00:19:51,538 --> 00:19:53,540 Okay, no more counter work, but starting today, 527 00:19:53,714 --> 00:19:55,498 I am gonna take the trash out. I am. 528 00:19:55,629 --> 00:19:57,413 Oh, thank you so much. 529 00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:59,198 I was actually lying when I said 530 00:19:59,372 --> 00:20:00,895 -that I enjoyed doing it. -[chuckles] 531 00:20:00,982 --> 00:20:03,506 Even though I've put in enough hours to be an expert on it now. 532 00:20:03,637 --> 00:20:05,987 [gasps] You started Outliers? 533 00:20:06,117 --> 00:20:07,554 Yeah. That new book? Yeah. 534 00:20:07,684 --> 00:20:09,860 Oh, my God. No way. You guys, tell me more. 535 00:20:09,991 --> 00:20:11,471 -Really? -Really? -No, I'm just practicing 536 00:20:11,558 --> 00:20:13,168 holding a conversation with a bunch of boring sixes 537 00:20:13,299 --> 00:20:15,475 for my high school reunion later. 538 00:20:15,562 --> 00:20:16,432 Bye. 539 00:20:16,563 --> 00:20:18,869 Bye. A six? 540 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,481 If we're averaging a six, she thinks I'm a three. 541 00:20:27,356 --> 00:20:29,140 All right, he splatter-painted the hood of the Taurus 542 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:30,490 ten minutes ago, so he's got to be in there. 543 00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:32,883 -You remember the plan? -10-4. 544 00:20:32,970 --> 00:20:34,885 I flush him out, and you flank him from the side. 545 00:20:35,016 --> 00:20:36,844 Classic tank and flank. 546 00:20:36,974 --> 00:20:38,802 VIC: Cheers. Huh. 547 00:20:38,933 --> 00:20:42,110 What's that shiny little piece of foil? 548 00:20:42,284 --> 00:20:44,068 I'm gonna go check it out. 549 00:20:44,155 --> 00:20:45,374 Okay. 550 00:20:50,466 --> 00:20:54,035 Are those buttons, trailing from the tree? 551 00:20:54,165 --> 00:20:56,733 Vic, it's a trap! It's a trap! 552 00:20:56,820 --> 00:20:59,388 -Oh, God! -[crow cawing] 553 00:21:04,437 --> 00:21:07,178 Captioning sponsored by CBS 554 00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:10,138 and TOYOTA. 555 00:21:10,312 --> 00:21:13,533 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org