1 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:08,709 And up next, Barb's Big Ups! 2 00:00:08,809 --> 00:00:12,446 A big up to Lewis for his neck tattoo. 3 00:00:12,546 --> 00:00:14,415 - (murmuring) - A big up 4 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:18,052 to this branch for cutting our processing time in half. 5 00:00:18,186 --> 00:00:20,821 And a huge big ups to Colette 6 00:00:20,921 --> 00:00:22,890 for helping a centenarian 7 00:00:22,990 --> 00:00:24,525 - renew his license. - Oh! 8 00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:26,527 Wait, a man-horse? 9 00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:27,695 Those aren't real. 10 00:00:27,795 --> 00:00:29,363 That's a centaur, you dodo. 11 00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:31,865 Centenarian is someone that lives till they're 100. 12 00:00:31,999 --> 00:00:34,034 I had no idea Walter was that old. 13 00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:35,369 Although he did use a lot of words 14 00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:36,870 we're not allowed to use anymore. 15 00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:40,573 Lucky for us, he shared the key to his longevity. 16 00:00:40,574 --> 00:00:43,243 I'm more interested in the key to short-gevity. 17 00:00:43,244 --> 00:00:45,578 Every day, he does the sitting-rising test, 18 00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:47,215 where he makes sure that he can stand up 19 00:00:47,348 --> 00:00:50,784 from a cross-legged position without using his hands. 20 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,753 - (murmuring, chuckling) - Right? 21 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:54,588 - BARB: Focus, people! - I can totally do that. 22 00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:56,590 - (murmuring) - Two weeks till the consultants choose 23 00:00:56,724 --> 00:00:57,958 which branch to close. 24 00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,259 People! 25 00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:01,829 We cannot be distracted by a silly test. 26 00:01:02,963 --> 00:01:04,332 That I'm dying to try. 27 00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:05,599 - Clear the room! - (chattering) 28 00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:07,135 - Yeah, yeah. Let's do it. - (squeals) 29 00:01:09,370 --> 00:01:10,570 GREGG: Uh, Barb, 30 00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:12,240 - I-I'll pass. - Good idea, Greggles. 31 00:01:12,340 --> 00:01:14,542 You've already reached longevity. 32 00:01:15,376 --> 00:01:17,411 - Arriba. - (whoops) 33 00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:18,846 (excited chatter) 34 00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:20,080 - Stop it. - (chuckling) 35 00:01:20,214 --> 00:01:21,915 I was almost up. 36 00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:25,619 Aw! This dang boot, you guys! 37 00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:26,920 HOT KRISTEN: Come on, Barb. 38 00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:28,356 You've got this. Just... 39 00:01:28,456 --> 00:01:29,457 engage your core. 40 00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:30,891 (groaning) 41 00:01:30,991 --> 00:01:32,793 - (groans) English muffin! - (employees exclaiming) 42 00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:34,594 Everybody has a core, right? 43 00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:36,197 That's a rug burn. 44 00:01:36,964 --> 00:01:38,166 COLETTE: That's fine. 45 00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:43,637 So we agree? We're all at the same fitness level. 46 00:01:44,472 --> 00:01:45,606 Yeah. 47 00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:47,941 ♪ 48 00:01:50,744 --> 00:01:52,045 (soft chatter) 49 00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:55,949 - (gasps) Hey, chica. - (groans) 50 00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:57,485 I told you not to call me that. 51 00:01:57,585 --> 00:01:59,086 We're not there yet. 52 00:01:59,187 --> 00:02:01,289 This is exactly why I don't respond to your text messages. 53 00:02:01,422 --> 00:02:02,655 Fair. 54 00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:03,791 Anyways, I need a favor. 55 00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:05,458 - Absolutely. - From Gregg. 56 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:07,795 My Abuela Rosa's coming in today to take her driving test, 57 00:02:07,895 --> 00:02:09,029 and I need you to fail her. 58 00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:10,264 Uh, shouldn't be a problem. 59 00:02:10,364 --> 00:02:12,466 As long as I'm in a mood. 60 00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:14,133 And I'm always in a mood. 61 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,336 Whoa, whoa, whoa. What about me? 62 00:02:15,436 --> 00:02:17,371 Ceci, I always take the olds. 63 00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:18,772 Remember this guy? 64 00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:20,941 You won him for passing a 100-year-old. 65 00:02:21,041 --> 00:02:23,644 - Yeah. - No, no, she needs to fail. This is dangerous. 66 00:02:23,744 --> 00:02:25,812 She's never driven a day in her life and now, 67 00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:27,481 all of a sudden, at 70, she wants to hit the open road? 68 00:02:27,615 --> 00:02:28,482 No me digas. 69 00:02:28,616 --> 00:02:29,983 I can handle it. I got you. 70 00:02:30,117 --> 00:02:31,185 I'm your girl. 71 00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:32,353 I'll stick with Gregg. 72 00:02:32,453 --> 00:02:33,987 He's closer to being my girl. 73 00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:36,890 W-Wow. 74 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:37,825 Okay. 75 00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:38,991 Whatever. I'm gonna go 76 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:41,128 polish my trophy, which I won 77 00:02:41,229 --> 00:02:43,163 for being good at old people. 78 00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:45,832 Hey, thanks again, Gregg. 79 00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:47,335 And since you don't care about longevity, 80 00:02:47,435 --> 00:02:49,503 I won't feel as bad if she crashes and kills you. 81 00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:51,004 Perfect. 82 00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:52,706 Okay, old man. 83 00:02:52,806 --> 00:02:54,007 Let's see how long you're gonna live 84 00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:57,010 with this stupid no-hands challenge. 85 00:03:01,649 --> 00:03:02,850 (exhales) 86 00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:06,353 (grunts): Okay. 87 00:03:06,354 --> 00:03:07,388 (exhales) 88 00:03:07,488 --> 00:03:09,689 Not gonna quit until I do it. 89 00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:11,259 (grunts) 90 00:03:11,359 --> 00:03:13,427 (grunts) Okay. 91 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,730 Is that Barb's retainer? 92 00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:19,733 Ugh. 93 00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,335 - (cooing, chuckling) - Hello. 94 00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:22,836 I'm so glad you brought Gilbert 95 00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:24,572 - back to the office, Vic. - Yeah. 96 00:03:24,672 --> 00:03:25,906 He almost makes you likable. 97 00:03:26,006 --> 00:03:28,709 - Yes, you do. - What is all the hubbub? 98 00:03:29,377 --> 00:03:30,911 Did someone bring their pet into work today? 99 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,045 (whimpers) 100 00:03:32,179 --> 00:03:33,914 - Uh... - Because I'm loving it! 101 00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:35,248 - (chuckling) - Hey, mister. 102 00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:36,383 - (barks) - (yelps) Oh! 103 00:03:36,384 --> 00:03:38,218 - Oh. - (snarling) 104 00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:39,787 Whoa. Chillax. 105 00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:42,390 Gilbert. Um-- Sorry, Barb, I don't know what's going on. 106 00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:43,724 - He's just joking. (chuckles) - (snarling continues) 107 00:03:43,857 --> 00:03:45,125 He's just joking. 108 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,727 We give each other grief, you know? (chuckles) 109 00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:47,761 We joke like that. 110 00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:48,729 (growling) 111 00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:50,331 (clears throat) 112 00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:52,232 - Oh, my gosh, you really like her. - Yes, sir. 113 00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:53,600 Yeah. 114 00:03:53,601 --> 00:03:55,636 Uh, Jerem... y? 115 00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,137 JEREMY: Yeah, that's me. 116 00:03:58,038 --> 00:03:59,440 Sorry. (chuckles) 117 00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:01,208 Uh, Señora Rodríguez? 118 00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:02,743 - Sí. - Oh! 119 00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:03,944 I'm Colette. 120 00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:05,579 I'm a friend of your granddaughter's. 121 00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:06,780 Well, almost. 122 00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:08,115 Uh, little backstory-- 123 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,083 we are the office will-they-won't-they 124 00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:11,352 of friendship. 125 00:04:11,452 --> 00:04:12,585 Okay. 126 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:13,621 - Yeah. - Yeah. 127 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:14,922 Let's go, let's go. 128 00:04:15,022 --> 00:04:16,255 Come on. 129 00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,759 Yeah, yeah. Hurry. Thank you. 130 00:04:18,892 --> 00:04:20,461 (grunting loudly) 131 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:22,596 - Hey, Gregg. - Noa. 132 00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:25,432 Are you trying to do the no-hands challenge? 133 00:04:25,433 --> 00:04:26,900 No, I just-- I dropped my pen. 134 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,336 - That's why I'm down here. - Oh. 135 00:04:28,436 --> 00:04:30,137 This one right next to you. 136 00:04:30,237 --> 00:04:31,339 Here you go. 137 00:04:31,439 --> 00:04:33,473 Can't someone just sit on the floor 138 00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:35,376 at work in peace? 139 00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:37,978 Okay. 140 00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:40,247 (grunting) 141 00:04:41,582 --> 00:04:44,617 Oh, God. We have these for a reason! 142 00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:47,287 Good news, people! We have found the source of the smell! 143 00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:49,323 Raccoon dead in the vents! 144 00:04:49,457 --> 00:04:51,058 Bad news-- we can't do anything about it. 145 00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:52,460 Sounds like a rough day. 146 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,128 - (Barb gasps) - Need me to tap in? 147 00:04:55,228 --> 00:04:57,598 NoHo... Beau. 148 00:04:57,698 --> 00:04:58,799 No Beau Ho. 149 00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:00,968 Beau, the manager from NoHo. 150 00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:02,970 - What are you doing here? - Oh, hey, Barbara. 151 00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:04,738 I'm just registering my new boat. 152 00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:06,440 Can't you do that at your branch? 153 00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:08,642 Mm-hmm. Since you asked, it's a catamaran. 154 00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:10,344 Which is technically two boats. 155 00:05:10,444 --> 00:05:11,845 And I was in the neighborhood. 156 00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:13,481 But I need those tags stat, 157 00:05:13,581 --> 00:05:15,849 because I'm taking Dan and Kshitija on it this weekend. 158 00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:17,785 The DMV consultants? 159 00:05:17,885 --> 00:05:19,353 I thought they were only doing dinners 160 00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:20,621 with each branch manager. 161 00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:22,923 Oh, God. We had our dinner last night. 162 00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:25,693 Gangbusters. (chuckles softly) I laid out my vision 163 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:27,695 for the future, had a little ceviche 164 00:05:27,795 --> 00:05:29,029 from this spot I recommended. 165 00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:31,364 Did you ever taste leche de tigre? 166 00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:32,366 Tiger's milk? 167 00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:34,101 - Isn't that illegal? - What? 168 00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:36,504 No, it was, like, scallops or shrimp with lime juice and junk. 169 00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:39,306 But it was incredible. Or should I say "increíble"? 170 00:05:39,407 --> 00:05:41,542 - Oh. - (chuckles) That's Spanish for "yummy." 171 00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:43,611 Heard you have your dinner tonight. 172 00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:44,745 I do. 173 00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:45,879 Aw, I guess they're still doing it 174 00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:47,346 as, like, a little parting gift. 175 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,849 We all know which branch they'll be closing. 176 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,485 Here's a hint-- we're standing in it 177 00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:53,353 and it smells like dead raccoon. 178 00:05:54,254 --> 00:05:57,190 - Oh! Who's this tiny gentleman? - Careful. 179 00:05:57,324 --> 00:05:58,325 He-he doesn't like people. 180 00:05:58,426 --> 00:05:59,860 (giggling): Oh! 181 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,294 Oh! He does like people! 182 00:06:01,395 --> 00:06:03,362 He likes good managers. 183 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,065 Oh, who loves kisses? (chuckles) 184 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,167 Beau loves doggy kisses. 185 00:06:07,267 --> 00:06:08,702 Gilbert's got to go. 186 00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:11,070 - Effective immediately. - What? 187 00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:13,072 I just got off the phone with corporate. 188 00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:15,509 And, man, this really splits my uprights, 189 00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:18,378 but they just banned canines from the workplace. 190 00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:19,880 That's doggist. 191 00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:20,914 I know. 192 00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:22,382 My hands are tied. 193 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,552 Wait. 194 00:06:24,652 --> 00:06:26,218 Does this have anything to do with the fact 195 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,821 that Gilbert doesn't like you? 196 00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:29,823 (chuckles): What? What? No. 197 00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:31,058 Seems pretty convenient 198 00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:33,226 that Big Sac changed their policy 199 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:35,394 on the same day that I brought Gilbert in. 200 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,297 Plus, everyone knows 201 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:40,232 you stress eat when you lie. 202 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,268 What? 203 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:42,736 No, I don't. 204 00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:44,905 So you normally eat an avocado like it's an apple? 205 00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:47,541 The nutrients are in the skin, Vic. 206 00:06:47,641 --> 00:06:50,778 Looks like Gregg isn't your only girl, 207 00:06:50,878 --> 00:06:52,412 'cause, uh-- mission accomplished-- 208 00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:54,548 abuela fail-a. 209 00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:55,948 No need to thank me. 210 00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:58,619 You were right. She's a terrible driver. 211 00:06:58,752 --> 00:06:59,920 But I stood strong, 212 00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:01,689 even when she turned on the waterworks... 213 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:04,257 That's not my abuela. 214 00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:07,961 Oh. 215 00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:13,400 I don't get it. 216 00:07:13,501 --> 00:07:16,136 She said her name was Señora Rodríguez. 217 00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:17,470 (sighs) 218 00:07:17,471 --> 00:07:18,839 Who in here's last name is Rodríguez?! 219 00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,608 - Sí, aquí. - That's me. 220 00:07:20,741 --> 00:07:22,409 No, no, relax. I'm not calling on you guys. 221 00:07:22,510 --> 00:07:23,644 I'm just proving a point. 222 00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:25,444 Okay, I need to go find Gregg. 223 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,147 My actual abuela's gonna get here any second. 224 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,449 Wait, but I-I just proved that I'm great 225 00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:31,118 at failing old Rodríguezes. 226 00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:33,420 Oh, yeah? You think you can be as harsh with my abuela? 227 00:07:33,521 --> 00:07:35,122 - Yeah. - She can't even get through a grocery store aisle 228 00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:36,957 without knocking things over with her cart. 229 00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:39,292 She doesn't even shop anymore. She just buys whatever falls in. 230 00:07:39,392 --> 00:07:41,327 Look, if you're so concerned, come with me. 231 00:07:41,328 --> 00:07:44,397 Please just let me do this for you, Ceci. 232 00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:45,899 As a friend. 233 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:50,571 Fine. It'll be a road test for the both of you. 234 00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:53,306 Awesome. I'm gonna destroy that old bag. 235 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:54,307 Too much. 236 00:07:54,407 --> 00:07:56,176 It was. Yeah. 237 00:07:58,078 --> 00:08:00,213 Oh! Whoa! 238 00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:01,214 (groans) 239 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,816 What a numpty. (chuckles) 240 00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:06,019 That's, uh, Kiwi slang for "idiot." (grunts) 241 00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:09,522 Anyway, I'll just gather these up 242 00:08:09,523 --> 00:08:11,324 and... pop up. 243 00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:13,193 You see, it's kind of like surfing. 244 00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:15,896 You just, like, fire the glutes. 245 00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:17,364 Shwoop. Pop up. 246 00:08:17,464 --> 00:08:18,566 Oh, thank you, Noa. 247 00:08:18,666 --> 00:08:19,900 - Yeah. - Having you do it repeatedly 248 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,001 in front of me is extremely helpful 249 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:25,005 - and not making me think about my longevity at all. - I'm sorry. 250 00:08:25,138 --> 00:08:27,708 It's just that you're always taking me under your wing, 251 00:08:27,808 --> 00:08:29,341 and this is something that I can do for you. 252 00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:32,011 Yeah. But I helped you learn how to do your job 253 00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:33,713 and deal with family issues. 254 00:08:33,714 --> 00:08:35,849 You're teaching me how to stand up. 255 00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:36,850 - Yeah. - (sighs) 256 00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:38,218 Mate, I'm here for you. 257 00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:40,988 Hey, what's the Kiwi slang for "get the hell out of here"? 258 00:08:41,088 --> 00:08:43,123 It's "haere atu." It's, um... 259 00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:44,191 Haere atu. 260 00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:45,392 Yes, that's good! 261 00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:46,594 Haere atu. 262 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,862 - I'll just go. Okay. - Yeah. 263 00:08:48,996 --> 00:08:50,163 Okay. 264 00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:55,235 Pop. 265 00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:57,370 Pop. 266 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:00,808 - Beau Young. - Yes? 267 00:09:00,908 --> 00:09:01,909 - Mm-mm. - Oh. 268 00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,711 Decided to come to a real DMV 269 00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:05,278 to see how the studs do it? 270 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,380 Are you kidding? I've been here for two hours. 271 00:09:07,514 --> 00:09:09,749 To register my catamaran. 272 00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:11,051 W-- A catty? 273 00:09:11,184 --> 00:09:14,221 Two hulls to the skull? Dude, that is epic. 274 00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:15,188 You have no idea. 275 00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:16,723 This is me Titanic-ing. 276 00:09:16,724 --> 00:09:18,391 - We do it all the time. - (chuckling) 277 00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:19,927 Gilbert's my Rose. 278 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,394 (chuckles) So, uh... 279 00:09:21,528 --> 00:09:22,963 (high-pitched): ...where you taking this little guy? 280 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:26,233 Barb put the kibosh on pets at the workplace. 281 00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:27,600 - Really? - Yeah. 282 00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:29,770 Barb doesn't want the dog in here, huh? 283 00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:33,240 Well, you know, there is a workaround if you want. 284 00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:35,375 You ever hear of an emotional support animal? 285 00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:37,745 There is this bird in the parking lot I talk to. 286 00:09:37,845 --> 00:09:39,079 Mm. Sure. 287 00:09:39,179 --> 00:09:40,848 All you need is a letter from a therapist. 288 00:09:40,948 --> 00:09:42,650 And I got a guy who will write one for just about anything. 289 00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:44,784 I once got out of jury duty 290 00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:46,720 thanks to something called "narcissism." 291 00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:48,288 (chuckles) Can you believe it? 292 00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:50,423 Me? Beau Young? (chuckles) 293 00:09:50,523 --> 00:09:53,026 - This guy? (laughing) - (chuckling) 294 00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:55,462 - This guy? - Oh, man. 295 00:09:55,562 --> 00:09:56,929 - That's perfect. - (chuckles) 296 00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,765 'Cause I definitely don't have any real issues. 297 00:09:58,766 --> 00:10:00,433 (weird baby voice): Ain't that right, Gilbert? 298 00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:01,768 Ain't that right, Gilbert? 299 00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:04,004 - Ah, no, I can see that. - (chuckling) 300 00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:09,309 Nice turn back there, Abuela Rosa. 301 00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:10,944 Nuh-uh. Just "Rosa." 302 00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:13,113 - She's not your grandma. - Fine. 303 00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:14,514 How am I doing? 304 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,116 I have to say, Rosa, you are 305 00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:18,118 handling this big rig pretty well. 306 00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:20,253 I've been taking lessons for months. 307 00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:22,455 - Yeah. - Now that my last nieta's in college, 308 00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:25,358 Estefani-- oh, my God, she was a project-- 309 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:26,959 it's time for my third act. 310 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,161 Maybe expand the radius of my Tinder 311 00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:31,164 to include Palm Springs. 312 00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:32,866 (quietly): Looks like you didn't have to be worried at all. 313 00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,501 She's actually a pretty good driver. 314 00:10:34,601 --> 00:10:36,369 Mm, I don't think she's ready. 315 00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:37,469 - No, she is. - Mm. 316 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:38,806 Trust me. Yeah. 317 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,308 - Hey, Abuela. - Hmm? 318 00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:43,976 Did you know that Colette dated Cousin Miguel? 319 00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,679 - (stammers) Really? - Mm-hmm. 320 00:10:45,813 --> 00:10:47,047 He just bought a new townhouse. 321 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,681 Eat-in kitchen. 322 00:10:48,682 --> 00:10:50,150 That doesn't matter to her. Because guess what. 323 00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:51,151 She dumped him. 324 00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:52,685 - ¿Que qué? - Uh-huh. 325 00:10:52,686 --> 00:10:54,988 Uh, can we just focus on the road test? 326 00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:57,090 Just kicked him to the curb. And you want to know why? 327 00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:58,158 Why? 328 00:10:58,258 --> 00:10:59,292 Because he was too short. 329 00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:00,693 ¡Qué barbaridad! 330 00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:02,161 - And he's not short. - Mm-mm. 331 00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:04,364 He's concentrated, like the best orange juice. 332 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:07,835 Right on Sunset, please. 333 00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:09,202 Hey, Gregg! 334 00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:12,504 Uh, L.A. Dodgers' Yoshinobu Yamamoto is out here 335 00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:13,774 with a delicious bundt cake. 336 00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:15,642 Oh, what flavor? (groans loudly) 337 00:11:15,743 --> 00:11:17,077 My back just went out. 338 00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:18,678 - (groans) - Oh, no. 339 00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:20,580 Yamamoto's not out there, is he? 340 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,383 I'm so sorry, mate. That was a dirty trick. 341 00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:25,018 But you did almost stand up. 342 00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:26,253 What you're doing is pushing, 343 00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:28,521 but what you need to do is-is pop. 344 00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:30,190 Leave me alone. 345 00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:33,426 But bring me a slice of that bundt cake, please. 346 00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:36,096 Gregg, this is really not your day. 347 00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:37,530 You can't stand 348 00:11:37,664 --> 00:11:39,132 and there's no bundt cake. 349 00:11:39,967 --> 00:11:41,735 There is no bundt cake?! 350 00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:44,237 What the hell?! 351 00:11:46,639 --> 00:11:48,308 Ugh, you're still here? 352 00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:50,043 Of course I still am. 353 00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:52,879 And this place still smells like that dead raccoon. 354 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:54,380 I don't have time for this, Beau. 355 00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:55,749 A colleague of mine 356 00:11:55,849 --> 00:11:57,250 is gonna bedazzle my boot for my dinner tonight 357 00:11:57,350 --> 00:12:01,220 at a little place called Paul Fleming Chang's. 358 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:03,590 You're taking the consultants to P.F. Chang's? 359 00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:06,159 It's the best Asian food in Los Angeles. 360 00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:07,895 I know it is. I'm Asian. 361 00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:11,164 Barb, there's a new vest in town. 362 00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:12,431 Mmm! 363 00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:14,401 (grunts) That's right. 364 00:12:14,534 --> 00:12:16,069 - (snarling) - Gilbert is officially 365 00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:17,404 an emotional support animal. 366 00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:19,605 Got a letter from a therapist and everything. 367 00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:22,242 (quietly): The dog's supposed to wear the vest, you idiot. 368 00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:23,710 This one's for a husky. 369 00:12:23,811 --> 00:12:26,046 Oh. I thought it was just for men with bigger builds. 370 00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:27,580 Beau put you up to this? 371 00:12:27,714 --> 00:12:30,784 Well, I guess there's only one thing left for me to do. 372 00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:35,188 And that's to, uh, welcome Gilbert back to the office. 373 00:12:36,523 --> 00:12:37,790 (groans) 374 00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:39,793 Sons of Anarchy! Gilbert bit me! 375 00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:41,127 - No, he didn't. - (Gilbert whimpering) 376 00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:42,262 - BARB: Yowch. - VIC: Okay, then. 377 00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:43,130 - Let me see it. - Are you kidding? 378 00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:45,264 Lift my arm? 379 00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:46,799 It'll be Geyser Permanente. 380 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,434 - (panting) - Well, you're in good hands, 381 00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,503 because I happen to be a registered volunteer medic. 382 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:53,373 Yeah, well, you're a registered volunteer liar! 383 00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:55,475 Let me see the bite. In fact, we all want to see 384 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:56,877 - the bite, don't we?! - Yeah. 385 00:12:56,977 --> 00:12:58,111 Oh...! 386 00:12:58,245 --> 00:12:59,847 Never you're touching me! 387 00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:01,114 (panting, hisses) 388 00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:02,816 Boo-yah! 389 00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:06,152 CECI: So, Colette, 390 00:13:06,153 --> 00:13:08,355 what were you, uh, thinking about getting your mom 391 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:09,488 for Mother's Day? 392 00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:10,824 I don't know. 393 00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:13,159 I'll listen for clues on our weekly phone call. 394 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:14,161 Hello? 395 00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:15,829 You only call her once a week? 396 00:13:15,963 --> 00:13:17,164 - Mm-hmm. - What does your poor mother do 397 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:18,498 the rest of the time? 398 00:13:18,598 --> 00:13:20,067 File a missing persons report? 399 00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:22,002 (laughs) Good one, Abuela. 400 00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:23,837 (quietly): What the hell is going on? 401 00:13:23,971 --> 00:13:26,673 Are you trying to upset her so that she'll fail? 402 00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,008 (scoffs) No. 403 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,509 No, no, no. Of course not. If anything, 404 00:13:29,609 --> 00:13:31,211 I'm trying to relax her. 405 00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,146 Mm-hmm. 406 00:13:34,915 --> 00:13:36,783 Hmm. Abuela, look! The Pope! 407 00:13:36,884 --> 00:13:37,985 - ¿¡Dónde?! ¿¡El Papa?! - Huh? 408 00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:39,887 - No, no! Look out! - Aah! 409 00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:41,889 (hissing) 410 00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:43,023 (sighs) 411 00:13:43,857 --> 00:13:46,726 Thankfully, none of the girls selling the cookies were hurt. 412 00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,528 But the only right thing to do was to buy up 413 00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:49,829 all of their stock. 414 00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:51,530 I think these are knockoffs. 415 00:13:51,531 --> 00:13:52,866 I mean, what the hell is a Thick Mint? 416 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,935 I'm sorry I couldn't pass you. 417 00:13:55,035 --> 00:13:57,704 A fender bender is an automatic failure. 418 00:13:57,804 --> 00:13:58,972 ROSA: It's okay. 419 00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:00,840 It's my fault for getting distracted. 420 00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:02,242 Yeah. 421 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:04,344 I'll-I'll wait for you to give me a ride home. 422 00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:05,946 Okay. 423 00:14:06,046 --> 00:14:08,548 Looks like she's not getting behind the wheel anytime soon. 424 00:14:08,648 --> 00:14:10,216 (squeals) Gracias, chica. 425 00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:13,053 - You really are my girl. - (chuckles softly) 426 00:14:15,222 --> 00:14:16,189 - ROSA: Colette. - Yeah. 427 00:14:16,323 --> 00:14:18,258 - I'll pray for you. - Oh. 428 00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,060 Ayúdala a pararse derecha. 429 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,029 Thank you. 430 00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:24,364 She recommended a posture bra. 431 00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:25,933 I'm wearing one. 432 00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:27,867 Hmm. Hmm. 433 00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:29,136 (sighs) 434 00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:34,874 (sighs) 435 00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:36,476 Don't look at me like that. 436 00:14:36,576 --> 00:14:38,245 GREGG: Shh. 437 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:39,712 Down here. 438 00:14:39,812 --> 00:14:42,749 I-I think I may be going through something. 439 00:14:42,849 --> 00:14:44,217 - Ugh, boy. - (sighs) 440 00:14:44,317 --> 00:14:46,386 That makes two of us. Gregg... 441 00:14:47,154 --> 00:14:48,388 ...permission to vent? 442 00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:49,388 Denied. 443 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,925 I just failed Ceci's abuela, 444 00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:54,094 like she asked, but she was a... 445 00:14:54,194 --> 00:14:55,662 Rosa was a very good driver. 446 00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:58,831 I'm starting to think that I don't have a spine. 447 00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:00,000 Me, either. 448 00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:01,935 I was so focused on being friends 449 00:15:02,069 --> 00:15:04,871 I forgot that being friends means 450 00:15:04,972 --> 00:15:06,839 being able to say when you're unhappy. 451 00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:08,208 I'm unhappy. 452 00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:10,277 I need to have an honest conversation with Ceci, 453 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:11,711 but that terrifies me. 454 00:15:12,679 --> 00:15:15,348 Hey, could we do a role-play? Uh, you be me, I'll be Ceci. 455 00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:16,449 Please, no. 456 00:15:16,549 --> 00:15:18,118 (imitates Ceci): "Colette, hello? 457 00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:19,386 Just why?" 458 00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:20,553 That's it. 459 00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:22,422 Oh, my God! 460 00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:25,092 I did it. I stood up on my own. 461 00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:28,561 I'm gonna live long enough to hate old age. (chuckling) 462 00:15:29,329 --> 00:15:32,632 I just needed someone annoying enough to push me. 463 00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:36,303 Damn, Noa, it was more of a pop. 464 00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:37,437 He did it. 465 00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:40,507 That crazy son of a bitch did it. 466 00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,009 I can hear you, Noa. 467 00:15:42,109 --> 00:15:43,276 Ah. Yeah. 468 00:15:48,881 --> 00:15:50,683 Where's your little carpet sniffer? 469 00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,752 Gilbert? He's taking a nap. 470 00:15:52,852 --> 00:15:54,787 But I came to apologize. 471 00:15:54,887 --> 00:15:55,989 Really? 472 00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:57,957 Yeah, he bit you, and that's not okay. 473 00:15:58,058 --> 00:16:01,994 So the only responsible thing to do is to... 474 00:16:01,995 --> 00:16:03,630 put Gilbert down. 475 00:16:06,233 --> 00:16:08,135 You're right. It's the right thing to do. 476 00:16:08,268 --> 00:16:09,636 Oh. Okay. 477 00:16:09,736 --> 00:16:12,139 Um, but j-just to be super clear, 478 00:16:12,272 --> 00:16:13,973 you know what "putting down" means, right? 479 00:16:14,074 --> 00:16:16,009 He was a good boy. 480 00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:17,310 And may he rest in power. 481 00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:20,312 I'm not gonna euthanize my son. 482 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,414 (exhales) 483 00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:23,649 Why does Gilbert hate me? 484 00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:26,019 And why does he love Beau? 485 00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:28,055 Why do you care so much? 486 00:16:28,155 --> 00:16:31,491 If I cannot get a tiny little dog to respect me, 487 00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:33,760 how can I get the consultants to? 488 00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:37,329 I see what this is. 489 00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:39,199 - (exhales) - Gilbert knows 490 00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:40,967 you're the alpha around here. 491 00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:42,869 And as a fellow alpha, 492 00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:44,337 he's challenging you. 493 00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:47,340 You think that he sees me as an alpha? 494 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,342 I know he does. 495 00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:51,111 This is your territory, Barb, 496 00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:52,544 so you can't back down. 497 00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:54,013 You got to show them you're the big dog. 498 00:16:54,814 --> 00:16:57,817 I used to see it in the foster system all the time. 499 00:16:57,917 --> 00:17:00,720 But with weirdly more shedding. 500 00:17:02,489 --> 00:17:03,756 Ceci. 501 00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,158 Hey, girl. 502 00:17:06,159 --> 00:17:08,695 I'm taking Rosa on another test. 503 00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:10,197 Whether you like it or not. 504 00:17:10,297 --> 00:17:12,432 She worked her butt off for this moment. 505 00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:14,366 She deserved to pass. And she... 506 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:17,670 would have if you hadn't purposely messed her up. 507 00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:20,840 She's a very good driver. 508 00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:22,642 I know. 509 00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:23,909 Oh. 510 00:17:23,910 --> 00:17:25,078 Okay. 511 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:27,247 Is that it? I thought you were gonna make fun of 512 00:17:27,347 --> 00:17:28,648 my shoes or something. 513 00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:32,352 What's going on with you? 514 00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:35,421 Honestly, I thought she was gonna bomb that test. 515 00:17:35,422 --> 00:17:38,558 And then when I realized she was gonna pass, it just... 516 00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,394 I just don't want to let her go. 517 00:17:41,528 --> 00:17:42,895 Oh. Ceci. 518 00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:45,265 My whole life, she's just... 519 00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,234 She's been the one that I was closest to, you know? 520 00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:49,602 My parents worked a bunch, but she was always there. 521 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:52,604 Even now, she's, like, my best friend. 522 00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:54,773 We go to the movies together, we get our nails done, 523 00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:57,910 we-we make fun of celebrities' botched plastic surgery. 524 00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:00,580 Now, what, she wants to just... 525 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:02,382 go do her own thing? Like, 526 00:18:02,482 --> 00:18:04,016 - mm. - Doesn't she deserve that? 527 00:18:04,117 --> 00:18:06,085 What if she actually wants to move to Palm Springs 528 00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:08,054 after falling in love with one of those desert macho men 529 00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:09,356 or something? 530 00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:11,491 Clearly, you've never been to Palm Springs. 531 00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:15,395 I'm just not ready to let her spread her wings. 532 00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:17,597 You are. 533 00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:22,169 Your abuela helped you and her other grandchildren grow strong, 534 00:18:22,269 --> 00:18:25,104 and now her new project is herself. 535 00:18:26,573 --> 00:18:27,774 Fine. 536 00:18:27,874 --> 00:18:29,176 You can retest her. 537 00:18:30,076 --> 00:18:31,278 Thank you. 538 00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:34,447 And your shoes are tragic. 539 00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:36,483 They're good for my arches. 540 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,251 Mm. They better be. 541 00:18:39,051 --> 00:18:41,788 Question-- should a catamaran actually be two boats? 542 00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:44,023 I figured out why you're here. 543 00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,225 To get in my head. 544 00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:46,492 What? (scoffs) 545 00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:47,760 Don't flatter yourself. 546 00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:49,295 You're intimidated by me. 547 00:18:49,296 --> 00:18:50,797 Why else come all the way here 548 00:18:50,897 --> 00:18:52,532 to do something that would've taken you three seconds? 549 00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:55,202 - Hmm. - You act like you've already won, 550 00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:56,836 but, really, you're scared 551 00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:59,004 'cause we're the better branch. 552 00:18:59,005 --> 00:19:00,207 And the big dog, 553 00:19:00,307 --> 00:19:03,176 the big dog's nipping at your heels! 554 00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:05,778 (barking loudly) 555 00:19:07,079 --> 00:19:08,314 I'm the big dog! 556 00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:09,682 Jilloyce, 557 00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:11,484 help this man with his boat and send him on his way. 558 00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:13,720 Barb's branch. 559 00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:14,854 (exhales) 560 00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:17,724 You haven't seen the last of me, Barbara! 561 00:19:19,025 --> 00:19:20,660 Oh, yeah, there's no boat. 562 00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:24,997 Another question-- have you seen the latest edition of 10 and 2? 563 00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:30,537 Colette said I didn't make one mistake, Cecilia María. 564 00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,339 Best test of the day. 565 00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:35,707 That's really great, Abuela. (sniffles) 566 00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:37,577 I got to-- I got to retake that last one. 567 00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:40,313 What's wrong? Is my lipstick too much? 568 00:19:40,413 --> 00:19:42,249 It's called Tropixxx, 569 00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:43,483 with three X's. 570 00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:45,184 Uh, no, no. I just got, like... 571 00:19:45,318 --> 00:19:47,086 An eyelash got stuck or something. 572 00:19:48,488 --> 00:19:49,722 Okay, one more shot. 573 00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:52,558 It's beautiful. 574 00:19:52,559 --> 00:19:53,859 Thank you, baby. 575 00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:55,362 CECI: You actually look really hot. 576 00:19:55,462 --> 00:19:56,896 ROSA: Oh, thank you. 577 00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:04,202 Don't worry, Dan. The Dynamite Shrimp is not made of dynamite. 578 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:06,238 (laughing) 579 00:20:06,239 --> 00:20:07,874 - Okay. - (phone rings) 580 00:20:09,242 --> 00:20:10,743 Go for Berry. 581 00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,980 Oh, hi, Dan. I was just heading out for our dinner. 582 00:20:14,847 --> 00:20:16,783 Oh. Food poisoning? 583 00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:18,217 From ceviche, huh? 584 00:20:18,318 --> 00:20:20,553 (exhales sharply) You cannot trust raw fish. 585 00:20:20,687 --> 00:20:23,556 It's like going skinny-dipping with snapping turtles. 586 00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:27,494 Whoever recommended that really should not be running a DMV. 587 00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:29,996 Yeah, I can reschedule for tomorrow. 588 00:20:30,096 --> 00:20:31,096 Okay, then. 589 00:20:31,097 --> 00:20:32,265 Hydrate! 590 00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:37,570 Mr. Perfect gave the consultants food poisoning. 591 00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:39,806 We're coming for you, Beau Young. 592 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,676 Hasta ceviche, baby. 593 00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:44,611 (chuckles softly) 594 00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,178 (Gilbert snarls, barks) 595 00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:47,480 Gilbert. 596 00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:49,516 - (growls) - You don't want any part of this. 597 00:20:49,616 --> 00:20:51,951 (whimpering) 598 00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:59,759 Captioning sponsored by CBS 599 00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:02,529 and TOYOTA. 600 00:21:02,629 --> 00:21:06,032 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org