1 00:00:05,266 --> 00:00:07,355 Previously on Eternally Yours... 2 00:00:07,529 --> 00:00:09,531 So that we can be together forever, 3 00:00:09,705 --> 00:00:11,402 until the end of time. 4 00:00:11,576 --> 00:00:14,144 - [hisses] - [gasps] 5 00:00:14,405 --> 00:00:16,364 CHARLES: This marriage is literally never-ending. 6 00:00:16,538 --> 00:00:18,757 You see, this is why I only marry humans. 7 00:00:18,931 --> 00:00:21,238 You have fun till they croak, and then you get a new model. 8 00:00:21,412 --> 00:00:22,805 How's that working out for you? 9 00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:24,372 People are living a little longer than they did 10 00:00:24,546 --> 00:00:25,808 back in the day. 11 00:00:26,069 --> 00:00:27,940 - Love you. [chuckles] - I love you more. 12 00:00:28,115 --> 00:00:29,812 BENJI: Well, something is very weird. 13 00:00:29,986 --> 00:00:31,248 You've been together two months, 14 00:00:31,466 --> 00:00:32,597 she's never let you come to her house? 15 00:00:32,771 --> 00:00:34,556 My family, we're just 16 00:00:34,730 --> 00:00:36,123 different. 17 00:00:36,297 --> 00:00:38,168 - I'll understand, I promise. - [knocks on door] 18 00:00:38,342 --> 00:00:39,256 [both hiss] 19 00:00:39,430 --> 00:00:40,823 - Oh. - Max? 20 00:00:41,084 --> 00:00:43,695 These are my parents. 21 00:00:43,869 --> 00:00:45,262 I don't want you dating a human. 22 00:00:45,436 --> 00:00:46,785 You are being so unfair. 23 00:00:46,959 --> 00:00:48,396 How come he gets all the good traits? 24 00:00:48,570 --> 00:00:49,527 We're twins. 25 00:00:49,701 --> 00:00:50,746 I mean, I'm half vampire, too. 26 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:52,182 Hey, we are working 27 00:00:52,356 --> 00:00:53,488 on developing some of your powers. 28 00:00:53,662 --> 00:00:55,881 Come on, come on. Move, damn it. 29 00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,231 Come on, Mort, let's go! 30 00:00:58,841 --> 00:01:00,147 [Liz gasps, screams] 31 00:01:00,408 --> 00:01:02,279 Max? Are you okay, Max? 32 00:01:02,453 --> 00:01:04,020 What if we turn him into a vampire? 33 00:01:04,281 --> 00:01:05,326 That would fix this. 34 00:01:05,587 --> 00:01:07,806 - He might pull through. - Charles. 35 00:01:11,201 --> 00:01:12,768 [gasps] 36 00:01:14,813 --> 00:01:16,076 EMMA: Max. 37 00:01:16,902 --> 00:01:18,426 Max. 38 00:01:19,296 --> 00:01:21,255 Hey, sleepyhead. 39 00:01:21,429 --> 00:01:23,126 Emma? 40 00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:25,433 - Where am I? - You're at my house. 41 00:01:25,607 --> 00:01:28,784 Um, Max, what do you remember from yesterday? 42 00:01:28,958 --> 00:01:31,787 Uh, I remember I found out that vampires are real 43 00:01:31,961 --> 00:01:34,050 and that you and your whole family are vampires, 44 00:01:34,224 --> 00:01:36,574 - which was a lot to process. - Uh-huh. 45 00:01:36,748 --> 00:01:39,055 There's still a bit more to process. 46 00:01:39,316 --> 00:01:40,448 Do you remember the accident? 47 00:01:40,622 --> 00:01:41,884 - There was an accident? - Don't worry. 48 00:01:42,058 --> 00:01:43,407 It's not uncommon after trauma 49 00:01:43,712 --> 00:01:45,105 for there to be some memory loss around the event. 50 00:01:45,279 --> 00:01:46,889 Speaking as a medical professional. 51 00:01:47,063 --> 00:01:48,586 - I mean, you're a vet. - Oh. 52 00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:50,501 You remember Mort. He's one of the twin sons 53 00:01:50,675 --> 00:01:52,155 of the other family in the coven. 54 00:01:52,329 --> 00:01:54,201 - Sup? - Hey. 55 00:01:54,375 --> 00:01:55,550 Um, I'm sorry, what-what accident? 56 00:01:55,811 --> 00:01:57,421 - What happened? - EMMA: Yeah, okay, 57 00:01:57,682 --> 00:01:59,728 so you were accidentally hit in the head with a marble bust. 58 00:01:59,902 --> 00:02:01,338 MORT: My bad. 59 00:02:01,599 --> 00:02:03,253 Haven't quite mastered the telekinesis thing yet. 60 00:02:03,427 --> 00:02:05,299 Yeah, we actually didn't know if you were gonna make it, 61 00:02:05,473 --> 00:02:07,344 so to save you, 62 00:02:07,518 --> 00:02:09,868 my dad bit you and now you're a vampire. 63 00:02:10,782 --> 00:02:12,436 - Excuse me? - Yeah. 64 00:02:12,610 --> 00:02:15,700 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 65 00:02:15,874 --> 00:02:18,312 You're undead, dude. It really sucks. 66 00:02:18,486 --> 00:02:20,314 - Not now, Mort. - Get it? "Sucks." 67 00:02:20,488 --> 00:02:22,054 'Cause you're a vampire? [hisses] 68 00:02:22,316 --> 00:02:25,014 - [screams] - Oh. 69 00:02:25,188 --> 00:02:26,711 Damn it, Mort. 70 00:02:26,929 --> 00:02:29,279 We're gonna have to tell him all that again, aren't we? 71 00:02:29,453 --> 00:02:32,239 ♪ ♪ 72 00:02:34,806 --> 00:02:36,547 EMMA: So then I told him again. 73 00:02:36,721 --> 00:02:38,158 And this time he didn't scream. 74 00:02:38,332 --> 00:02:40,116 He just stared off, went catatonic. 75 00:02:40,290 --> 00:02:41,770 - It was creepy. - LIZ: Well, it's a big change. 76 00:02:42,031 --> 00:02:43,946 Honestly, for both of us. 77 00:02:44,207 --> 00:02:46,862 I'm crazy about Max, but we've been together six weeks, 78 00:02:47,036 --> 00:02:48,994 and now Dad turns him into a vampire? 79 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:52,389 - At your mother's request. - He was going to die, Charles. 80 00:02:52,563 --> 00:02:53,956 It's all just so zero to 60. 81 00:02:54,130 --> 00:02:55,697 I mean, moving in? 82 00:02:55,958 --> 00:02:58,047 It... it's a lot of pressure to put on a new relationship. 83 00:02:58,221 --> 00:02:59,657 Well, that's the rules. 84 00:02:59,831 --> 00:03:01,137 He's got to join our coven. 85 00:03:01,311 --> 00:03:03,139 We broke him, we bought him. 86 00:03:03,313 --> 00:03:05,185 In a way, we're all broken. 87 00:03:05,359 --> 00:03:06,708 My boy. Deep. 88 00:03:06,925 --> 00:03:09,058 MAX [cheerfully]: Hey, everyone. Good morning. 89 00:03:09,232 --> 00:03:11,408 Whoa, Charles, nice robe. 90 00:03:11,582 --> 00:03:12,757 Looks soft. 91 00:03:12,931 --> 00:03:14,716 Max, you seem oddly good. 92 00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:16,805 Oh, because the whole "me being a vampire" thing? 93 00:03:17,066 --> 00:03:18,459 - Yeah. - Yeah. 94 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:20,200 Well, I was sitting up there, staring at the wall, 95 00:03:20,417 --> 00:03:23,899 and a thought occurred to me, and I was like, "What if 96 00:03:24,073 --> 00:03:26,293 - I am not a vampire?" - [Charles groans] 97 00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:27,642 - Excuse me? - MAX: Well, I don't feel 98 00:03:27,816 --> 00:03:29,339 any different than I did yesterday. 99 00:03:29,513 --> 00:03:30,906 And, like, I'm looking at these glasses of blood, 100 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,474 which probably seem delicious to all of you, 101 00:03:33,648 --> 00:03:35,780 but to me as a non-vampire, 102 00:03:35,954 --> 00:03:37,173 it kind of makes me want to vomit. 103 00:03:37,347 --> 00:03:39,219 Yo, slow your roll. 104 00:03:39,393 --> 00:03:41,003 This is primo Steve, man. 105 00:03:41,177 --> 00:03:42,483 Steve is the name of the guy from Craigslist 106 00:03:42,657 --> 00:03:44,006 who sells us his own blood. 107 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,617 - We-we think it's his own. - EMMA: Sweetie, 108 00:03:46,791 --> 00:03:49,316 your skull was caved in and it healed in 12 hours. 109 00:03:49,490 --> 00:03:50,882 Well, I am sort of a quick healer. 110 00:03:51,056 --> 00:03:52,536 I take a daily calcium chew. 111 00:03:52,710 --> 00:03:54,277 For God's sake. 112 00:03:54,538 --> 00:03:56,148 You were bitten by a vampire and you turned into a vampire. 113 00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:57,628 Why is that so hard to understand? 114 00:03:57,802 --> 00:03:59,891 Okay, just hear me out. Where are the fangs? 115 00:04:00,065 --> 00:04:01,545 'Cause I have spent the last five minutes 116 00:04:01,719 --> 00:04:03,286 concentrating as hard as I could, 117 00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:04,940 - and I've got nothing. - LIZ: You know, 118 00:04:05,157 --> 00:04:07,899 the fangs and the powers, those all can take some time 119 00:04:08,073 --> 00:04:09,423 - to develop. - Okay. 120 00:04:09,684 --> 00:04:11,773 But isn't it possible that when Charles bit me, 121 00:04:11,947 --> 00:04:13,427 he gave me enough vampire venom to heal me 122 00:04:13,688 --> 00:04:15,080 but not enough to turn me into an actual vampire? 123 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:18,301 Well, I mean, I guess it's possible, but... 124 00:04:18,475 --> 00:04:20,347 - Aha! Booyah! - EMMA: Ooh, babe, 125 00:04:20,608 --> 00:04:22,784 didn't we decide after Scrabble that you're not a "booyah" guy? 126 00:04:22,958 --> 00:04:23,872 For sure. My bad. 127 00:04:24,046 --> 00:04:25,569 Oh, my God, what time is it? 128 00:04:25,743 --> 00:04:27,441 - I have to get to work. - What? Wait. No, no, no, no. 129 00:04:27,615 --> 00:04:29,486 No. No, you're not going anywhere. 130 00:04:29,704 --> 00:04:31,706 - Well, but I-I have... - Despite your desperate protestations, 131 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:33,185 you are a baby vampire. 132 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:34,752 - Well... - And you have no idea 133 00:04:34,926 --> 00:04:36,319 how to be out among the living yet. 134 00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:38,103 There's a lot you don't understand, Max, 135 00:04:38,365 --> 00:04:40,584 and until you're really familiar with how this all works... 136 00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:42,151 CHARLES: Yes, you could be exposed, 137 00:04:42,325 --> 00:04:44,327 which directly endangers us. 138 00:04:44,501 --> 00:04:46,590 Oh, no, you are staying here until further notice. 139 00:04:46,851 --> 00:04:47,722 Do you understand me? 140 00:04:47,983 --> 00:04:49,637 Okay, Max, just humor my dad 141 00:04:49,811 --> 00:04:52,727 until we figure out what's really going on? Please? 142 00:04:53,641 --> 00:04:54,946 Fine. 143 00:04:55,773 --> 00:04:56,774 But I'm not a vampire. 144 00:04:57,035 --> 00:04:58,515 Damn it! Yes, you are! 145 00:04:58,689 --> 00:05:01,736 [Liz screams] 146 00:05:01,910 --> 00:05:03,520 - Charles. - Calm down. 147 00:05:03,694 --> 00:05:05,130 - We don't even eat. - JESSE: Well, my wife does, 148 00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,785 and she doesn't know we're vampires. 149 00:05:07,959 --> 00:05:10,484 - What? - Oh, boy. - JESSE: My bad. 150 00:05:10,658 --> 00:05:12,355 - Phyllis? - [whooshing] 151 00:05:12,529 --> 00:05:14,488 You didn't hear anything. 152 00:05:14,662 --> 00:05:16,228 Oh, hey, guys. 153 00:05:16,403 --> 00:05:19,319 What happened to the microwave? 154 00:05:20,755 --> 00:05:22,147 [Charles groans] 155 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,932 I can't believe we're stuck with this guy. 156 00:05:24,106 --> 00:05:27,283 Well, he's here, so let's try to make the best of it. 157 00:05:27,457 --> 00:05:28,719 - [sighs] - Who knows? 158 00:05:28,893 --> 00:05:30,895 Maybe you and Max could become friends. 159 00:05:31,069 --> 00:05:33,202 [scoffs] I've got enough friends, thank you. 160 00:05:33,376 --> 00:05:34,856 But do you? 161 00:05:35,117 --> 00:05:37,685 - What's that supposed to mean? - No, it's just, 162 00:05:37,859 --> 00:05:39,817 you don't really hang out with anyone besides me. 163 00:05:40,078 --> 00:05:42,429 I have friends. What about Nathaniel? 164 00:05:42,690 --> 00:05:43,865 The candlemaker? 165 00:05:44,039 --> 00:05:47,129 Charles, he died 200 years ago. 166 00:05:47,390 --> 00:05:49,740 Really? God, I knew it had been a minute. 167 00:05:49,914 --> 00:05:51,655 Look, men often struggle 168 00:05:51,916 --> 00:05:53,570 with maintaining friendships after marriage. 169 00:05:53,744 --> 00:05:55,398 They get rusty. 170 00:05:55,572 --> 00:05:56,965 And you've been married for 500 years. 171 00:05:57,139 --> 00:05:59,010 - That's a lot of rust. - For your information, 172 00:05:59,184 --> 00:06:00,882 I have a friend at work. 173 00:06:01,056 --> 00:06:02,536 Who? 174 00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:04,102 Eric. 175 00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:06,540 Okay, I've never heard you mention his name before. 176 00:06:06,714 --> 00:06:08,846 Be that as it may, he is my friend. 177 00:06:09,107 --> 00:06:10,239 He's my good friend. 178 00:06:10,587 --> 00:06:12,023 In fact, he and I are having lunch today. 179 00:06:12,284 --> 00:06:15,897 [low]: After I ask him, which I will do. 180 00:06:17,289 --> 00:06:19,814 Yeah, I don't know why I do this. It's pointless. 181 00:06:20,075 --> 00:06:21,337 [sighs heavily] 182 00:06:21,511 --> 00:06:22,686 Well... 183 00:06:22,860 --> 00:06:24,601 JESSE: So, while technically 184 00:06:24,775 --> 00:06:26,386 I have been assigned to keep you here, 185 00:06:26,647 --> 00:06:28,997 I don't want you to feel like, you know, my prisoner. 186 00:06:29,171 --> 00:06:30,738 We're just two dudes 187 00:06:30,912 --> 00:06:32,740 - hanging out. - But if I try to leave? 188 00:06:33,001 --> 00:06:35,307 I will hunt you down and put you in a cage in the basement. 189 00:06:35,482 --> 00:06:37,701 - Oh. - So what are we thinking? 190 00:06:37,875 --> 00:06:39,790 - SportsCenter? - [phone vibrating] 191 00:06:39,964 --> 00:06:41,270 - [TV playing indistinctly] - Excuse me. 192 00:06:43,925 --> 00:06:44,752 Hey, Benji. 193 00:06:45,013 --> 00:06:46,101 Where the hell are you? 194 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,190 We have our presentation in 30 minutes. 195 00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:50,018 - Crap. Is that today? - What do you mean, "Is that today?" 196 00:06:50,192 --> 00:06:51,585 Max, all the department heads are gonna be there. 197 00:06:51,759 --> 00:06:53,456 - This is a huge deal. - Shoot. 198 00:06:53,630 --> 00:06:54,849 Uh, yeah, that's gonna be a little tricky. 199 00:06:55,110 --> 00:06:56,067 I'm, uh... [clears throat] 200 00:06:56,241 --> 00:06:57,895 ...sort of under the weather. 201 00:06:58,069 --> 00:06:59,506 Who's on the phone? 202 00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:01,159 - Who's that guy? Where are you? - MAX: Uh... 203 00:07:01,333 --> 00:07:02,770 it's just a guy that lives at Emma's house. 204 00:07:02,944 --> 00:07:04,728 Your girlfriend lives with a guy? 205 00:07:04,989 --> 00:07:06,382 Wait, I thought you weren't feeling well. 206 00:07:06,556 --> 00:07:07,514 What is going on? 207 00:07:07,775 --> 00:07:10,038 Uh... I, I-I should go. 208 00:07:10,299 --> 00:07:11,474 Wait, no, no, Max, Max. 209 00:07:11,648 --> 00:07:13,084 I need you. I just click the PowerPoint. 210 00:07:13,258 --> 00:07:15,435 You're the talker. Max? 211 00:07:16,566 --> 00:07:17,741 Is everything all right? 212 00:07:17,915 --> 00:07:19,264 Yeah. 213 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,876 Yeah, that was just my friend Benji. 214 00:07:22,137 --> 00:07:22,920 Is he a werewolf? 215 00:07:23,094 --> 00:07:25,183 I don't think so. 216 00:07:25,357 --> 00:07:26,663 Okay, well, you should ask him. 217 00:07:26,924 --> 00:07:28,360 Legally, he has to tell you if he is. 218 00:07:28,535 --> 00:07:30,319 Can't be too careful, BV. 219 00:07:31,233 --> 00:07:32,452 "Baby Vampire." 220 00:07:32,713 --> 00:07:34,279 I don't know, I'm just trying it out. 221 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:35,933 No, yeah, yeah, it's very clever. 222 00:07:36,107 --> 00:07:37,457 Speaking of which, I actually think I am getting 223 00:07:37,631 --> 00:07:40,503 a little, uh, peckish, yeah, for some blood. 224 00:07:40,677 --> 00:07:42,331 Oh! Hot damn. 225 00:07:42,505 --> 00:07:43,767 It's kicking in. 226 00:07:44,028 --> 00:07:45,508 Yeah, blood's in the fridge, bro. Have at it. 227 00:07:45,682 --> 00:07:47,162 Oh, it's just, I don't know how to prepare it. 228 00:07:47,423 --> 00:07:49,947 Oh, you literally just pour it, like, in a cup. 229 00:07:50,121 --> 00:07:52,297 Well, I'm not up on the portion size yet. 230 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:53,821 - I got you, bud. - [chuckles] 231 00:07:54,038 --> 00:07:55,605 I'll fix you up a nice tall glass of Steve. 232 00:07:55,779 --> 00:07:57,128 Thanks. 233 00:08:02,090 --> 00:08:05,267 JESSE: Yeah, man, so, uh, I do want to warn you ahead of time, 234 00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:06,834 we do still pee. 235 00:08:07,269 --> 00:08:11,273 Okay? But it will be pure red on account of the blood. 236 00:08:11,839 --> 00:08:12,970 Max? 237 00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:16,408 Bro, if you got invisibility power, 238 00:08:16,583 --> 00:08:19,455 I am gonna be beyond jealous. 239 00:08:21,326 --> 00:08:22,763 Uh-oh. 240 00:08:27,289 --> 00:08:29,378 - [sighs] Oh, damn it. - [machine whirring, beeping] 241 00:08:29,552 --> 00:08:31,685 What, is this copy machine made by Prussians? 242 00:08:31,946 --> 00:08:33,295 [Eric chuckles] 243 00:08:33,469 --> 00:08:36,341 Oh, Eric. I'd know that laugh anywhere. 244 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:37,995 Do you share a deep-seated hatred 245 00:08:38,169 --> 00:08:39,649 for the people of Prussia? 246 00:08:39,823 --> 00:08:40,998 Uh, no, I just, uh... 247 00:08:41,172 --> 00:08:42,522 It was funny the way you said it. 248 00:08:42,696 --> 00:08:44,698 Ah. Well, as long as we're connecting, 249 00:08:44,872 --> 00:08:47,309 perhaps we take things to the next level. 250 00:08:47,483 --> 00:08:48,702 Uh, what does that mean? 251 00:08:48,876 --> 00:08:50,225 Well, we could go to lunch. 252 00:08:50,399 --> 00:08:52,009 We could do Thai or-or Mexican. 253 00:08:52,183 --> 00:08:54,882 Just not a Prussian place, I'll tell you that much. 254 00:08:55,143 --> 00:08:56,274 Are there Prussian places? 255 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:57,798 Look at us batting it back and forth. 256 00:08:57,972 --> 00:09:00,191 - The banter. - Yeah. No, no, I'd love to, 257 00:09:00,365 --> 00:09:02,324 but, uh, I brought my lunch from home today. 258 00:09:04,935 --> 00:09:06,154 Oh, no. 259 00:09:06,328 --> 00:09:08,112 That was insane. 260 00:09:08,373 --> 00:09:09,331 How did that even happen? 261 00:09:09,505 --> 00:09:11,202 Totally insane. 262 00:09:11,376 --> 00:09:13,814 So, how about Mexican? 263 00:09:13,988 --> 00:09:17,948 It's a wonderful cuisine, which I know as a person who 264 00:09:18,122 --> 00:09:21,473 eats f... food. 265 00:09:21,648 --> 00:09:23,606 Max, I'm home. 266 00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:25,565 Hey, uh, listen, don't freak out. 267 00:09:25,739 --> 00:09:27,001 This is gonna sound kind of bad, 268 00:09:27,262 --> 00:09:29,264 and that's 'cause it's kind of bad. 269 00:09:29,438 --> 00:09:31,353 Um... I lost Max. 270 00:09:31,527 --> 00:09:33,747 - Are you serious? - What do you mean you lost Max? 271 00:09:33,921 --> 00:09:36,053 I turned my back for like a second, 272 00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:37,359 and he disappeared. 273 00:09:37,533 --> 00:09:38,665 Now, I know what you're thinking. 274 00:09:38,839 --> 00:09:40,449 Did he develop invisibility powers? 275 00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:42,582 I do not think so, because of the lack of audible talking. 276 00:09:42,756 --> 00:09:45,280 Also, would invisibility power make his clothes disappear? 277 00:09:45,454 --> 00:09:46,890 It's an interesting question. 278 00:09:47,108 --> 00:09:48,631 - Jesse, focus. - EMMA: Did you search the area? 279 00:09:48,849 --> 00:09:50,372 - Did you even look for him? - JESSE: I was going to. 280 00:09:50,546 --> 00:09:53,680 I was. But then Phyllis came back from the salon. 281 00:09:53,854 --> 00:09:55,595 Babe. 282 00:09:55,769 --> 00:09:58,075 - The hair is looking fire. - Thanks. 283 00:09:58,249 --> 00:10:00,425 - Is that a new sweater set? - Yeah. 284 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,558 I got it 50% off at TJ Maxx. 285 00:10:02,732 --> 00:10:05,779 [exhales deeply] Get the hell over here. 286 00:10:06,257 --> 00:10:09,130 Ooh. Ooh, that thing with the floor happened again. 287 00:10:09,304 --> 00:10:11,175 - Oh, we'll have to get it looked at. - [laughs] 288 00:10:11,349 --> 00:10:14,222 Damn it, Jesse, I can't believe you! 289 00:10:14,396 --> 00:10:17,007 It's not my fault. She's aging like a fine wine. 290 00:10:17,181 --> 00:10:18,879 This is not good. Who knows what sort of trouble 291 00:10:19,053 --> 00:10:20,445 he could be getting into out there? 292 00:10:20,663 --> 00:10:21,882 He doesn't know how to deal with any of it, 293 00:10:22,056 --> 00:10:23,579 between the sun and the werewolves. 294 00:10:23,797 --> 00:10:25,755 We didn't even tell him about the vampire hunters. 295 00:10:25,929 --> 00:10:27,714 [groans] I hate those guys. They're, like, obsessed with us. 296 00:10:27,888 --> 00:10:29,498 - Get over it. - LIZ: Okay, we need to find Max. 297 00:10:29,759 --> 00:10:31,239 We should split up. 298 00:10:31,413 --> 00:10:33,633 - I will call Charles. - Yes-- no, no, no. Liz, please. 299 00:10:33,807 --> 00:10:35,939 Can we not tell Charles that I lost Max? It's just, 300 00:10:36,113 --> 00:10:37,985 I don't need to be hearing about this for the next two centuries. 301 00:10:38,159 --> 00:10:39,639 EMMA: Yeah, I think it might be better if we deal 302 00:10:39,813 --> 00:10:41,553 with this ourselves. Dad already hates Max enough. 303 00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:43,468 Yeah. Remember when I borrowed Charles's ascot 304 00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,383 for the 1893 Chicago World Fair 305 00:10:45,557 --> 00:10:47,168 and then left it on the Ferris wheel? 306 00:10:47,342 --> 00:10:48,343 Dude brought that up Monday. 307 00:10:48,517 --> 00:10:49,387 Okay. 308 00:10:49,561 --> 00:10:51,041 Emma, think. 309 00:10:51,302 --> 00:10:52,564 Where could Max be? 310 00:10:52,782 --> 00:10:54,044 Ooh. You know what? Before he disappeared, 311 00:10:54,218 --> 00:10:55,872 he got a call from a guy named Benji? 312 00:10:56,046 --> 00:10:57,657 Benji. Benji, that's the friend from work. 313 00:10:57,831 --> 00:10:59,310 - That must be where he is. - LIZ: All right, let's go. 314 00:10:59,571 --> 00:11:01,138 JESSE: Yes! Okay. Let me just run upstairs 315 00:11:01,312 --> 00:11:02,531 and tell Phyllis we're leaving. 316 00:11:02,705 --> 00:11:04,576 Give me ten, 15 minutes, tops. 317 00:11:04,881 --> 00:11:07,841 - BOTH: Jesse! - Well, excuse me for modeling a healthy relationship. 318 00:11:08,015 --> 00:11:10,321 You know, you two aren't even supposed to be home right now. 319 00:11:10,582 --> 00:11:12,410 This is our time. 320 00:11:12,584 --> 00:11:14,151 MAX: So our proposal 321 00:11:14,369 --> 00:11:17,328 is to optimize interdepartmental communication pathways. 322 00:11:17,502 --> 00:11:19,374 - [sizzling] - Um, we feel that this structure 323 00:11:19,548 --> 00:11:21,332 creates a positive feedback loop-- Oh, my God! 324 00:11:21,506 --> 00:11:25,902 Ah, am I excited about these feedback loops. [chuckles] 325 00:11:26,163 --> 00:11:28,470 Does anyone smell smoke? 326 00:11:28,644 --> 00:11:30,515 Uh, please hold your questions till the end, Cathy. 327 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:31,908 Uh, so, for-for the next slide, 328 00:11:32,082 --> 00:11:34,215 um, you'll see that implementation 329 00:11:34,476 --> 00:11:36,608 is split into three phases. Um... 330 00:11:36,870 --> 00:11:39,176 - [loud chatter] - Phase one is, uh... 331 00:11:39,350 --> 00:11:40,961 [loud chatter continues] 332 00:11:41,135 --> 00:11:42,223 Oh, my God, uh... 333 00:11:42,614 --> 00:11:44,268 - [mouths] - [high-pitched ringing] 334 00:11:44,442 --> 00:11:47,489 Oh! Sorry, can somebody, uh, shut that door? 335 00:11:47,663 --> 00:11:49,491 [loud chatter stops] 336 00:11:50,927 --> 00:11:52,842 Thank you, Dave. 337 00:11:53,016 --> 00:11:55,062 [laughs softly] Where was I? 338 00:11:55,323 --> 00:11:56,367 Uh, phase one. 339 00:11:56,585 --> 00:11:58,892 Yes, uh, so, for-for the first phase, 340 00:11:59,066 --> 00:12:00,894 uh, we will, um... 341 00:12:01,155 --> 00:12:02,809 Ooh... 342 00:12:02,983 --> 00:12:04,985 We will, um... 343 00:12:09,032 --> 00:12:10,033 Ha-- oh! [chuckles] 344 00:12:10,207 --> 00:12:12,383 Gonna step out for a second. 345 00:12:12,557 --> 00:12:13,907 Benji, can you take over? 346 00:12:14,168 --> 00:12:16,561 Max. Max? Max. 347 00:12:16,823 --> 00:12:18,781 Max? 348 00:12:19,042 --> 00:12:20,609 [door closes] 349 00:12:20,870 --> 00:12:24,526 I, um... I just do the clicking. 350 00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:27,181 But I am integral. 351 00:12:30,271 --> 00:12:31,489 Oh, excuse me. 352 00:12:31,838 --> 00:12:33,883 Hi. Would you mind formally inviting us in? 353 00:12:34,057 --> 00:12:35,755 Oh, I don't work here. 354 00:12:35,929 --> 00:12:37,365 You can still invite somebody in. It's not a big deal. 355 00:12:37,539 --> 00:12:39,236 Ma'am, please, come on. 356 00:12:39,497 --> 00:12:40,934 - Why are people so weird about this? - This has got to be 357 00:12:41,108 --> 00:12:42,500 the dumbest part of being a vampire. 358 00:12:42,674 --> 00:12:44,633 - Sir? Sir, hey. - Oh, hi, hi. - Hey, dude. 359 00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:47,288 - LIZ: In the tie. - EMMA: Nice kicks. - JESSE: Mind if we come in? 360 00:12:47,462 --> 00:12:49,029 - Oh, hi. - Hello. 361 00:12:49,203 --> 00:12:51,727 [sighs]: Oh, man, I could never have a corporate job. 362 00:12:51,901 --> 00:12:53,207 I mean, look at this drone wasting away 363 00:12:53,381 --> 00:12:54,251 his short, pointless life. 364 00:12:54,425 --> 00:12:56,384 - What? - Oh, sorry. 365 00:12:56,645 --> 00:12:58,255 [whispers]: Meant to telepathy that to you guys. 366 00:12:58,429 --> 00:13:00,040 Hi. We're looking for Max Marshall. 367 00:13:00,214 --> 00:13:02,303 - I think he works on this floor. - She is his girlfriend. 368 00:13:02,477 --> 00:13:03,783 He doesn't need to know that. 369 00:13:03,957 --> 00:13:05,045 JESSE: You didn't hear anything. 370 00:13:05,306 --> 00:13:06,524 - Well, don't wipe him. - Uh, hi. 371 00:13:06,698 --> 00:13:08,918 - Can I help you? - EMMA: Yes, hi again. 372 00:13:09,092 --> 00:13:10,528 We're looking for Max. 373 00:13:10,702 --> 00:13:12,052 Um, he works on this floor. 374 00:13:12,269 --> 00:13:13,662 It's no concern of yours who she's dating. 375 00:13:13,836 --> 00:13:15,577 Uh, okay. 376 00:13:15,751 --> 00:13:18,101 Uh, well, Max is actually giving a presentation today. 377 00:13:18,275 --> 00:13:19,799 He's out at the Tacoma office. 378 00:13:20,060 --> 00:13:22,540 - Tacoma? - Okay. Thank you. 379 00:13:24,586 --> 00:13:26,196 [sighs] So he's at a different office? 380 00:13:26,370 --> 00:13:28,155 Tacoma-- that's like 45 minutes away. 381 00:13:28,329 --> 00:13:30,070 - It's too far to super-speed. - Why does it only work 382 00:13:30,244 --> 00:13:32,028 - in cheetah-like short bursts? - It's just for catching prey. 383 00:13:32,202 --> 00:13:33,769 It's not for long-distance travel. 384 00:13:34,030 --> 00:13:36,598 I hate to say it, but your dad's office is right by there. 385 00:13:36,772 --> 00:13:37,991 Oh, God, he's not gonna be happy. 386 00:13:38,165 --> 00:13:39,557 Okay, maybe don't mention my role 387 00:13:39,731 --> 00:13:41,385 - in Max getting out. - [sighs] Jesse... 388 00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:43,387 It's gonna be the ascot incident all over again. 389 00:13:43,648 --> 00:13:45,825 [Liz sighs heavily] 390 00:13:48,349 --> 00:13:49,829 You're not getting anything? 391 00:13:50,003 --> 00:13:51,308 No, I-I'm good. Um... 392 00:13:51,613 --> 00:13:53,397 Yeah, I've got a massive tapeworm, actually. 393 00:13:53,571 --> 00:13:54,877 [phone vibrating] 394 00:13:55,051 --> 00:13:57,575 Oh. Sorry. 395 00:13:57,749 --> 00:13:59,926 The old ball and chain. Liz. 396 00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:01,492 Yeah, could I, could I call you back? 397 00:14:01,666 --> 00:14:02,711 I'm a little busy. 398 00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:05,453 What do you mean he's gone? 399 00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:07,237 Where is he? 400 00:14:08,064 --> 00:14:10,414 [panting] 401 00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:15,506 This isn't happening. This is, this is not happening. 402 00:14:15,767 --> 00:14:17,073 [screams] 403 00:14:17,247 --> 00:14:20,120 No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 404 00:14:20,294 --> 00:14:21,469 Max? 405 00:14:21,643 --> 00:14:23,079 Are you okay? 406 00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:24,385 MAX: Uh, yeah, sorry. 407 00:14:24,689 --> 00:14:26,300 I just, uh, I-I wasn't feeling well. 408 00:14:26,474 --> 00:14:28,345 Dude, I am dying in there. I can't vamp. 409 00:14:28,519 --> 00:14:29,869 [echoes]: Vamp. Vamp. 410 00:14:30,043 --> 00:14:31,914 Do you have any idea what I'm going through? 411 00:14:32,175 --> 00:14:33,437 [pulls paper towels] 412 00:14:33,611 --> 00:14:35,004 Geez. 413 00:14:35,178 --> 00:14:37,180 I knew I should have brought extra T-shirts. 414 00:14:38,094 --> 00:14:39,879 [shouts] Oh. 415 00:14:40,140 --> 00:14:41,881 Cut myself on the dispenser. 416 00:14:42,055 --> 00:14:44,144 - [sniffs] - [groans] 417 00:14:44,318 --> 00:14:45,710 Mm. 418 00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:48,061 ♪ ♪ 419 00:14:59,376 --> 00:15:00,508 I might have to click left-handed. 420 00:15:00,682 --> 00:15:02,423 And I didn't practice that. 421 00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:06,253 Max? 422 00:15:07,384 --> 00:15:08,908 Where'd he go? 423 00:15:09,343 --> 00:15:10,431 [grunts] 424 00:15:10,605 --> 00:15:12,737 - Oh, my God. Charles? - [exhales] 425 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,043 What just happened? 426 00:15:14,217 --> 00:15:16,045 - I-I didn't hurt Benji, did I? - No. 427 00:15:16,219 --> 00:15:18,743 And we shall discuss this no further here. 428 00:15:19,005 --> 00:15:20,006 What is wrong with me? 429 00:15:20,180 --> 00:15:21,572 I... He's my best friend. 430 00:15:21,833 --> 00:15:23,618 Oh. 431 00:15:23,792 --> 00:15:26,577 - I fell. - We fell. 432 00:15:29,102 --> 00:15:30,277 [sighs] 433 00:15:30,451 --> 00:15:31,800 CHARLES: We gave you 434 00:15:31,974 --> 00:15:34,063 one instruction: to not leave the house. 435 00:15:34,237 --> 00:15:35,499 Was that so difficult to follow? 436 00:15:35,717 --> 00:15:37,371 I didn't think I was really a vampire. 437 00:15:37,632 --> 00:15:39,112 And, Jesse, you were supposed to be keeping an eye on him. 438 00:15:39,286 --> 00:15:40,635 How could you lose him? 439 00:15:40,852 --> 00:15:42,811 This is the ascot incident all over again. 440 00:15:42,985 --> 00:15:44,900 There it is. Look, I had everything under control, 441 00:15:45,074 --> 00:15:46,380 but then Phyllis came waltzing in 442 00:15:46,554 --> 00:15:47,903 with this brand-new sweater set. 443 00:15:48,077 --> 00:15:49,861 - Bro, I'm only human. - You're literally not. 444 00:15:50,036 --> 00:15:51,863 Okay, but I am a vampire, which we all know 445 00:15:52,038 --> 00:15:53,778 is one of the horniest undead creatures out there. 446 00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:56,651 - Dad, gross. - HENRY: No. 447 00:15:56,912 --> 00:16:00,437 It's a beautiful thing, to love so intensely. 448 00:16:00,611 --> 00:16:02,700 MAX: Okay, it's no one else's fault. All right? 449 00:16:02,874 --> 00:16:04,224 I am the one who didn't listen. 450 00:16:04,398 --> 00:16:06,052 Okay? I made a dumb mistake, and I am sorry. 451 00:16:06,226 --> 00:16:07,401 I-I just didn't want to believe 452 00:16:07,662 --> 00:16:09,272 that this could really be happening. 453 00:16:09,533 --> 00:16:11,666 That everything about my life was going to be different. 454 00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:13,233 But now I know that it is. 455 00:16:13,407 --> 00:16:16,149 Aw. If only your words were enough. 456 00:16:16,323 --> 00:16:18,803 - Dad, he's apologizing. - He's broken my trust. 457 00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,109 His actions today could have led 458 00:16:20,283 --> 00:16:21,676 not only to the death of his friend, 459 00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:23,721 a tragedy in and of itself, 460 00:16:23,895 --> 00:16:26,768 which I get as someone who has a friend 461 00:16:26,942 --> 00:16:28,813 named Eric, who loves barbacoa. 462 00:16:29,205 --> 00:16:32,121 - What's going on? - Charles made a friend. We're very proud of him. 463 00:16:32,295 --> 00:16:35,646 But even worse was his blatant disregard for our safety. 464 00:16:35,907 --> 00:16:38,562 'Cause, you know, you risked not just exposing yourself 465 00:16:38,736 --> 00:16:40,086 but this entire coven. 466 00:16:40,260 --> 00:16:41,696 I didn't think that it would be such a... 467 00:16:41,870 --> 00:16:43,785 No, you didn't think, Max. That's the problem. 468 00:16:43,959 --> 00:16:47,615 You see, a coven is not just a living arrangement. 469 00:16:47,789 --> 00:16:49,443 It's true, BV. You're part of something 470 00:16:49,617 --> 00:16:50,748 bigger than yourself now. 471 00:16:50,922 --> 00:16:52,315 There's no "I" in "coven." 472 00:16:52,489 --> 00:16:54,013 - Right? - [whispers]: Yeah. 473 00:16:54,274 --> 00:16:57,538 Which is why Max can no longer be part of this coven. 474 00:16:57,712 --> 00:16:59,844 - What? - What? - He has to move out. 475 00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:01,368 Can't I just put him in the cage? 476 00:17:01,542 --> 00:17:03,326 Charles. Max will not be safe on his own. 477 00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:04,719 Yeah, did-didn't you say something about werewolves? 478 00:17:04,980 --> 00:17:06,460 HENRY: Doesn't he have to stay with us? 479 00:17:06,721 --> 00:17:08,375 I mean, what happened to "We broke him, we bought him"? 480 00:17:08,636 --> 00:17:10,638 No, the Council only demands that we find him accommodation. 481 00:17:10,812 --> 00:17:12,901 Therefore, I have put a call in to the Winnipeg coven, 482 00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:14,381 and they're willing to take him. 483 00:17:14,555 --> 00:17:16,905 Provided I throw in six pints of Steve. 484 00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:18,733 - Dad, this is insane. - LIZ: Charles, Max showed 485 00:17:18,994 --> 00:17:22,215 very poor judgment, but to banish him seems a bit cruel. 486 00:17:22,476 --> 00:17:24,173 Yeah, I-I don't want to go to Winnipeg. 487 00:17:24,347 --> 00:17:27,437 No one wants to go to Winnipeg. But my mind is made up. 488 00:17:29,222 --> 00:17:30,658 Fine, Dad. 489 00:17:30,832 --> 00:17:32,094 But if he goes, I go. 490 00:17:32,268 --> 00:17:34,009 Are you joking? Just this morning, 491 00:17:34,183 --> 00:17:35,837 you were bemoaning that things were moving too fast 492 00:17:36,011 --> 00:17:37,795 - between you two. - What? 493 00:17:37,969 --> 00:17:39,580 Well, yeah. 494 00:17:39,754 --> 00:17:41,321 This is fast. 495 00:17:41,495 --> 00:17:43,366 And historically, I'm not the best 496 00:17:43,540 --> 00:17:44,585 when it comes to commitment. 497 00:17:44,846 --> 00:17:46,239 I freak out and bail, 498 00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:48,763 and I break hearts and ruin lives. 499 00:17:48,937 --> 00:17:51,896 And sure, yeah, one time I burned down a city. 500 00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:53,507 Oh, yes, Chicago. 501 00:17:53,681 --> 00:17:55,291 [laughs]: We blamed that cow. 502 00:17:55,465 --> 00:17:57,772 Uh, I'm sorry, is this gonna get to a good part? 503 00:17:58,033 --> 00:18:00,862 The point is, I'm scared 504 00:18:01,036 --> 00:18:04,996 but not so scared that I'm willing to give up on us. 505 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:09,523 So, unless you're willing to lose me, too, Dad, 506 00:18:09,697 --> 00:18:11,481 Max stays. 507 00:18:14,310 --> 00:18:15,746 [groans] 508 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:17,487 Fine! He can stay. 509 00:18:17,661 --> 00:18:19,098 - [softly]: Yes. - MAX: Thank you, Charles. 510 00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:21,535 You won't regret this. 511 00:18:21,709 --> 00:18:22,971 But if you want to be one of us, 512 00:18:23,145 --> 00:18:26,061 then you truly need to be one of us. 513 00:18:26,235 --> 00:18:28,933 Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. 100%. 514 00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:30,544 What does that mean? 515 00:18:30,718 --> 00:18:33,068 LIZ: All right, Max. It's time. 516 00:18:33,242 --> 00:18:34,722 - EMMA: You've got this, babe. - Mm. 517 00:18:34,983 --> 00:18:36,506 I mean, I guess I did swallow a lot of my own blood 518 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:38,160 when I got my wisdom teeth out. 519 00:18:38,378 --> 00:18:41,294 This is sort of like that, just another person's. 520 00:18:41,468 --> 00:18:42,947 - Just shut up and drink it. - Okay. 521 00:18:43,209 --> 00:18:46,908 Here we go. Gonna drink the blood. 522 00:18:50,303 --> 00:18:51,826 Hmm. 523 00:18:52,087 --> 00:18:54,220 Actually not bad. It's, uh, it's kind of sweet. 524 00:18:54,394 --> 00:18:56,439 - [squeals] Steve's the best. - Yeah. 525 00:18:58,137 --> 00:18:59,703 [exhales] 526 00:19:03,664 --> 00:19:05,056 Mmm. 527 00:19:08,451 --> 00:19:10,888 - [softly]: There you go. - JESSE: Yeah. 528 00:19:12,325 --> 00:19:13,543 PHYLLIS: Oh, hey, everyone. 529 00:19:14,631 --> 00:19:16,416 - What's going on? - JESSE: Um, 530 00:19:16,590 --> 00:19:19,723 Max is just trying V8 juice for the first time. 531 00:19:19,897 --> 00:19:21,247 [deep, demonic voice]: More. 532 00:19:21,421 --> 00:19:23,814 - He likes it. - [soft laughter] 533 00:19:23,988 --> 00:19:25,207 [panting] 534 00:19:30,473 --> 00:19:32,301 You know, I meant what I said. 535 00:19:32,475 --> 00:19:34,738 I am proud of you for putting yourself out there with Eric. 536 00:19:34,912 --> 00:19:36,131 Uh-huh. 537 00:19:36,305 --> 00:19:37,872 Charles, are you even listening? 538 00:19:38,133 --> 00:19:40,657 Sorry, uh, I'm just waiting for Eric to text me back. 539 00:19:40,831 --> 00:19:42,224 After our lunch, I texted him 540 00:19:42,398 --> 00:19:44,008 to make sure he got home safely, of course. 541 00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:47,490 Okay. Well, I'm sure he'll write back soon. 542 00:19:47,664 --> 00:19:49,188 It's just, it's been a while. 543 00:19:49,362 --> 00:19:51,625 But, uh, he-- perhaps he did not receive it. 544 00:19:51,886 --> 00:19:53,148 I'm gonna text him again. 545 00:19:53,409 --> 00:19:56,020 Charles, no. We've been through this before. 546 00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:57,370 [birds cawing] 547 00:19:57,544 --> 00:19:59,241 I'm telling you, just wait for Claude 548 00:19:59,415 --> 00:20:00,721 to raven you back. 549 00:20:00,982 --> 00:20:03,637 How can I be sure that he got the first raven? 550 00:20:03,811 --> 00:20:05,334 Charles, put the bird down. 551 00:20:05,508 --> 00:20:07,728 Oof. You're right, you're right. 552 00:20:07,902 --> 00:20:10,209 No, I don't want to pull the old double raven. Oof. 553 00:20:10,383 --> 00:20:11,775 [phone chirps] 554 00:20:12,689 --> 00:20:14,082 What was that? 555 00:20:14,343 --> 00:20:16,737 I just exclamation-pointed my earlier message. 556 00:20:16,911 --> 00:20:19,914 - Mm. - It's technically not a new text. 557 00:20:21,132 --> 00:20:23,309 Have I blown it? I've blown it. 558 00:20:23,483 --> 00:20:25,006 LIZ: It's okay. 559 00:20:29,532 --> 00:20:32,492 Captioning sponsored by CBS 560 00:20:32,666 --> 00:20:36,278 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org