1 00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:30,800 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 2 00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:40,280 Good evening. 3 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:42,920 Welcome to Have I Got News For You. I'm David Tennant. 4 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:44,840 In the news this week, in Sydney, following 5 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:46,760 the Australian Labor Party's surprise victory, the Culture 6 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:50,720 Minister allows herself a small celebration. 7 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:03,760 Dyson admits that their latest batch of hand-dryers might need the power 8 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:07,200 notching down a bit. 9 00:01:11,320 --> 00:01:16,280 That actually looks like the TARDIS. 10 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,040 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 11 00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:21,840 Yeah. 12 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:25,040 Flies more smoothly. 13 00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:27,440 And in Leatherhead, hidden camera footage reveals to MI5 how 14 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:32,440 the network of Bulgarian spies were exchanging secret information. 15 00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:39,480 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 16 00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:49,160 On Ian's team tonight is a broadcaster who admits 17 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:51,360 that she is always ten minutes late for everything. 18 00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:53,720 So please welcome the host of Channel 4's News At 19 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:55,400 7:10, Cathy Newman. 20 00:01:55,440 --> 00:02:00,400 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 21 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:01,840 On Paul's team tonight, 22 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:04,240 a comedian and actor who recently appeared in a film 23 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:06,160 with George Clooney. 24 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:09,040 Acting opposite a global sex symbol was challenging but, in the end, 25 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:10,720 Clooney managed to gabble out his lines. 26 00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:13,320 Please welcome Miles Jupp. 27 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:17,920 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 28 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:20,960 So we begin with the bigger news 29 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:22,160 stories of the week. 30 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,280 Paul and Miles, here's yours. 31 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:25,320 Yes. 32 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:27,720 Oh, obviously, Donald Trump and Keir Starmer, we're the first 33 00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:29,320 country they agreed a deal with. 34 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:31,240 There's probably Keir Starmer and Donald Trump talking 35 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:34,000 via the telephonic communications. 36 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:37,240 You've robbed the quiz element there... 37 00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:41,080 ..I believe might be the story on that one. 38 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:44,200 So, yes, we've got a trade deal and there is a new Pope. 39 00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:46,360 Which I was extremely surprised that it wasn't me. 40 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:49,000 Cos I'd been led to believe that it would be me. 41 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:51,000 I've had the costume fitting and everything. 42 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:54,280 But, apparently, somebody else. 43 00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:56,040 Yes, indeed. 44 00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:58,920 It's the news that the long-awaited UK-US trade deal was rather gazumped 45 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:01,000 by the election of a new Pope. 46 00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:02,760 Yes. 47 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:05,160 Starmer didn't seem to be aware that it was happening 48 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,320 until about five minutes before... 49 00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:12,120 Yeah, but he doesn't know he lost the election. 50 00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:15,000 And also, when Trump was pressing that button in the Oval Office, 51 00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:16,440 wasn't he just ordering a Coke? 52 00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:20,400 Well, there are other worse buttons he could be pressing. 53 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:23,240 So I think Starmer sort of said that he got called watching 54 00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:25,400 Arsenal football team, North London, while watching a game 55 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:26,920 that they were playing. 56 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:27,960 I'm indebted to you. 57 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,080 Thank you, Your Honour. 58 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:33,200 And so, yeah, he got a call while he was watching the match, 59 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:34,400 which he wasn't happy with. 60 00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:37,480 But it's very good that he didn't get a call the night before 61 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:40,160 because I happen to know he was at a romantic dinner 62 00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:42,760 with his wife and I know because I was there, too. 63 00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:43,840 Oh, really? Really? 64 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:44,840 That is romantic. 65 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:45,920 How romantic was it? 66 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:49,000 Well, I was having a dinner with a contact and in walked Keir 67 00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:51,160 and his wife Victoria, and I was like, "Oh, 68 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:52,240 this is interesting." 69 00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:55,120 Let them get on with it for a bit and then wandered 70 00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:56,320 over and had a chat. 71 00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:57,520 That's the form, is it? 72 00:03:57,560 --> 00:03:59,360 They've made some sort of signal. 73 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:02,200 Said to the waiter, "Could you invite the other couple over now? 74 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:04,160 "We've had quite enough of the eating bit. 75 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:06,160 "What about the lady from the news? 76 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:09,600 "We both like her." 77 00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:12,000 As soon as his security team ordered the main course, 78 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:14,440 I was like, "Right, come on, let's get at it. 79 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:15,440 So..." 80 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:17,280 Wow. 81 00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:19,400 You really are a proper journalist. 82 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:21,560 No wonder he had a smile on his face. 83 00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:24,200 I thought it had something to do with the trade agreement. 84 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:26,160 Your mind is too filthy to be Pope. 85 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:27,320 That's the problem with you. 86 00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:30,920 AUDIENCE: Oh! 87 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:32,120 It's true, though, isn't it? 88 00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:34,760 I think you should look into the history of the Popes. 89 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:39,400 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 90 00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:40,640 Anyway, I got the scoop. 91 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:42,800 Anyway, the scoop is that it was their 18th 92 00:04:42,840 --> 00:04:44,680 wedding anniversary, which is China, not the country... 93 00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:45,720 Yes. 94 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:47,640 ..and a gift of a mug was exchanged. 95 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:49,280 Was that the public? 96 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:53,440 Well, Trump has described this deal... 97 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:54,480 Yeah. 98 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:57,280 Thanks for bringing us back to the news. 99 00:04:57,320 --> 00:04:58,720 That is what we're here for. 100 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:01,080 Trump has described it as... 101 00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:05,440 ..and includes third party fire and theft 102 00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:08,080 but only if you've got locks on all your downstairs windows. 103 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:09,520 What's the deal going to achieve? 104 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:11,200 Do we know any of the details? 105 00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:12,240 It'll change everything. 106 00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:13,280 Will it? Yeah. 107 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:14,320 Yes, probably. Yeah. 108 00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:16,000 Has the price of DVDs gone up? 109 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:17,040 Yeah. 110 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:18,760 Is that it? Yeah. 111 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:21,200 Through the roof. 112 00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:22,840 Will this affect book tokens? 113 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:26,680 There's still a 10% baseline tariff, though. 114 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:28,880 On everything. Yeah. 115 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:30,320 25% tariff on steel is gone. 116 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:32,480 Yes, but then it was only imposed fairly recently. 117 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:33,520 Sure. 118 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:36,160 So we've got a better deal than we had last time 119 00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:37,200 Trump said anything. 120 00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:38,240 Right. 121 00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:41,120 But Keir Starmer said the way to look at it is that, 122 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:43,040 are things better today then they were yesterday? 123 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:44,840 And he said they are. 124 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:47,680 Yeah, but not better than they were a couple of weeks ago. 125 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:48,720 Yeah, but that... 126 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:51,600 But I want to know, is it going to be better tomorrow? 127 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:54,240 Because, I mean, we could be, you know, there could be 128 00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:55,280 nuclear war tomorrow. 129 00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:56,720 You're fun. 130 00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:58,680 You're doing the country down, essentially, whilst talking 131 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:00,800 to secret sources in restaurants, watching other people's dates. 132 00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:01,840 Do you know what? 133 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:04,040 You... 134 00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:06,600 People exchanging crockery. 135 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:08,760 In other news, Donald Trump has also claimed he's 136 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:10,320 going to bring something back. 137 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:11,360 What's he going to...? 138 00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:12,840 PAUL AND MILES SHOUTAlcatraz. 139 00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:13,880 Yeah. 140 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:15,680 Alcatraz, that's right. 141 00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:17,840 And somebody worked out, on the local TV station 142 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:20,240 where he was there that night, Palm Springs or whatever, 143 00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:21,920 were showing the film Escape From Alcatraz. 144 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:24,080 So he sees something on television and says, "Yeah, 145 00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:25,280 we should bring that back." 146 00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:27,640 Yes. 147 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:30,040 Let's hope he's not watching any World War II documentaries. 148 00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:32,840 Yes, Donald Trump called for the reopening of 149 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:35,240 Alcatraz prison for... 150 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:47,680 In you go, Donald. Close the door behind you. 151 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:52,160 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 152 00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:53,640 But it was still only Tuesday. 153 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:56,480 So Donald decided to make another announcement to do 154 00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:59,520 with the British film industry. 155 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:02,640 Yeah, oh, tariff on films not made in America. 156 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:05,600 Yes, this could have very serious impact on the British film industry. 157 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:09,200 For instance, the long-awaited new James Bond film may now not be 158 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:14,200 made in the UK but will instead NOT be made in the US. 159 00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:17,880 I hope the James Bond franchise isn't affected cos you were really 160 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:20,640 looking forward to taking that on, weren't you, Miles? 161 00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:22,800 Yeah. Yeah, I think... 162 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:25,200 I mean, I haven't started the training yet but...I've read 163 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:30,200 a couple of books about spying and, God, it's dangerous. 164 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:34,320 You wear a suit, a lot of it's done by gadgets, apparently, 165 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:36,640 there's green screen and, no, I'm... 166 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:39,720 No, look, I shouldn't really be talking about it but I am really 167 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:40,760 looking forward to it. 168 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:42,600 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 169 00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:46,040 CHEERING 170 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:47,720 As are we. 171 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:49,320 Be a different Bond, wouldn't it? 172 00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:53,200 "Would you mind awfully if I, um, just shot you?" 173 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:56,320 I'd be the sort of James Bond that suggests a lot of this 174 00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:59,800 could be done remotely, I think. 175 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:02,200 Why is May the 4th significant in the film world? 176 00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:03,240 Star Wars. 177 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:04,280 Yes, indeed. 178 00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:05,720 May the 4th be with you. 179 00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:07,560 May the 4th be with you. 180 00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:09,720 To mark that day, Donald Trump posted this AI-generated 181 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:13,080 image on the official White House X account. 182 00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:18,000 GROANING AND LAUGHTER 183 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:19,960 What did Star Wars enthusiasts pick up that's 184 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,800 specific about that? 185 00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:23,440 Oh, there'll be some mistake, won't there? 186 00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:25,120 He's got a particular type of lightsaber. 187 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:26,200 That's it. 188 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:30,480 Which is made from steel and has a tariff of... 189 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:32,240 It's also that it's red. 190 00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:34,280 Yeah, not blue. 191 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:36,440 And only the Sith - that's the baddies - 192 00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:37,600 have red lightsabers. 193 00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:40,720 So is that a mistake or is he trying to tell us something? 194 00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:41,760 I don't know. 195 00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:43,680 Or someone in his press office hates him. 196 00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:44,720 Not the only one! 197 00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:46,960 He also made himself Pope, didn't he? 198 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,800 Well, yes. 199 00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:50,960 Let's take a look at him as the Pope. 200 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:54,000 There he is. 201 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:55,920 It'll be Archbishop of Canterbury next, won't it? 202 00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:57,360 Maybe not big enough for him. 203 00:08:57,400 --> 00:09:00,040 Doesn't want to be shouted at by Ian at parties. 204 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:04,160 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 205 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:05,600 Yes, it was quite a week 206 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:08,000 for the Catholic Church as they got a new Pope. 207 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:10,840 And a new antichrist. 208 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:15,840 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 209 00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:20,920 I was just looking at that picture 210 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:23,760 of Donald Trump as the Pope, and the fact somebody would reduce 211 00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:27,120 themselves to try and extract comedy out of being the new Pope I think 212 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:28,160 is very sad. 213 00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:31,840 Rather desperate, actually. 214 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:33,040 But it is an American. 215 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:35,680 So there must have been a second when the news came 216 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:37,360 through when Donald thought, "It is me." 217 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:40,440 Robert Prevost... 218 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,040 Oh, right. He's American, is he? 219 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:43,080 Yeah. 220 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:44,280 Oh, right, OK. 221 00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:46,600 First one ever. And he's become Pope Leo XIV. 222 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:48,040 He was quite emotional, wasn't he? 223 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:49,840 The new Pope. 224 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:50,880 Yes. 225 00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:51,920 What did he say? 226 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:54,560 I mean, you would have been if it had been you. 227 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:55,600 Yeah, certainly. 228 00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:57,760 There's no point in me talking about it now, 229 00:09:57,800 --> 00:09:58,800 sounds like sour grapes. 230 00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:01,800 Now this Yank's got it. 231 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:05,440 AMERICAN ACCENT:"I just want to say I've always believed in Jesus." 232 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:10,400 Ah, get... 233 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:13,040 So, yes, this is the UK's trade deal with the US. 234 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:15,680 Hopes had been growing for weeks of a possible trade deal 235 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:18,320 between the US and the UK, although on Wednesday, Donald Trump 236 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:19,520 tweeted that it was with... 237 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:25,560 ..which threw us all off the scent a little bit. 238 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:27,480 The UK ambassador to Washington, Lord Peter Mandelson, 239 00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:30,120 was in the White House for the announcement of the deal, 240 00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:32,560 leading to a touching reunion with Donald Trump. 241 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:34,520 They hadn't seen each other since that party 242 00:10:34,560 --> 00:10:36,520 on Epstein's island. 243 00:10:36,560 --> 00:10:40,600 AUDIENCE:Oh! 244 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,680 We'll visit you in Alcatraz. 245 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:48,680 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 246 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:51,640 According to the Independent, 247 00:10:51,680 --> 00:10:54,520 the new trade deal with India is expected to make entry into 248 00:10:54,560 --> 00:10:56,160 the UK easier for Indian chefs... 249 00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:00,920 Which is great news unless you're carrying... 250 00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:02,960 AS YOGI BEAR: ..a delicious pic-a-nic basket! 251 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:07,960 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 252 00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:10,880 Are you auditioning for something? 253 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,560 It's like he was in the room, wasn't it? 254 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:15,000 It was, yeah, it was, yeah. 255 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,440 Ian and Cathy, here's your story of the week. 256 00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:19,880 Um... 257 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:20,920 Local elections. 258 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:22,880 Local elections, bin collection. 259 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:26,880 There's Farage, who's won, and then Kemi Badenoch, who didn't win. 260 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:28,560 Exactly. 261 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:29,600 And that's Keir Starmer. 262 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:32,240 The Royal Air Force has downgraded over the years, hasn't it? 263 00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:34,240 Look. 264 00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:36,640 This is presumably the elections, the local elections, the mayoral 265 00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:39,400 elections, the by-election. 266 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:40,680 Indeed. 267 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:42,200 It was an earthquake. 268 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:46,080 I mean, according to Reform, life will never be the same again. 269 00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:48,640 Well, it's the end of the Conservatives, they say. 270 00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:49,880 Yeah. 271 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:51,800 It's the end of the two party system. 272 00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:53,960 It's the start of a new era. It's Nige-ageddon. 273 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:57,280 Or something. 274 00:11:57,320 --> 00:11:59,200 When was the moment that Nigel Farage realised 275 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:00,640 he was on to something big? 276 00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:02,800 He was on his way to Durham, wasn't he? 277 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:04,960 Which is pretty big, you know, winning in Durham, 278 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,920 which is Labour heartland. 279 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,840 Apparently, he noticed that, as he walked down 280 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:11,360 Ormskirk high street... 281 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:19,600 LAUGHTER 282 00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:23,040 Come on, Ormskirk. Pull your finger out. 283 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:24,080 Here's a fun question. 284 00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:28,200 Who was once MP for Ormskirk and Nigel's predecessor as boss of Ukip? 285 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:29,240 Erm... 286 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:30,280 Oh, God. 287 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:32,680 He used to be on the telly a fair bit. 288 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:33,720 Robert Kilroy-Silk. 289 00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:34,760 There you go, yes. 290 00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:37,080 Let's remind ourselves of some of his best work. 291 00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:39,960 Their fate will be in each other's hands as they decide 292 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:43,720 whether to share or to shaft. 293 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:48,720 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 294 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:52,920 Can I say, it just goes to show that orange 295 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:55,600 right-wingers are nothing new. 296 00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:58,960 Not the only Reform supporter with a career in television. 297 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:03,080 Would you like to see presenter Steve Miller at work? 298 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:04,640 Yes, please. Yeah? 299 00:13:04,680 --> 00:13:07,520 Here he is with a sensitive take on the health crisis. 300 00:13:07,560 --> 00:13:09,840 This is from Sky's Fat Families. 301 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:12,240 I'm in Telford, Shropshire, and I'm about to meet one 302 00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:14,400 of the fattest families I've met in my life. 303 00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:17,520 I'm here in the Peak District and about to meet two right massive 304 00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:19,760 fatty siblings at the peak of their porkiness. 305 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:24,600 I'm going to be meeting some right beach blubber bellies. 306 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:28,080 I'm in Bedfordshire and about to meet three right 307 00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:30,040 jelly bellied jumbos. 308 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:33,080 It's Mr and Mrs Massive Fatty. 309 00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:36,760 That is an unfortunate name, though, isn't it? 310 00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:41,760 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 311 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:45,640 How did Kemi Badenoch respond to the results? 312 00:13:45,680 --> 00:13:47,640 She said it was a bloodbath. 313 00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:49,760 Yes, she said.. 314 00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:54,040 There's not an awful lot else you can do 315 00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:55,280 about a bloodbath, is there? 316 00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:57,240 You could clean up after yourself. Yeah. 317 00:13:57,280 --> 00:14:00,080 And what was Keir Starmer's reaction to the results? 318 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:02,440 He was surprisingly unbothered. 319 00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:05,080 Given that they did nearly as bad, not quite as bad 320 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:06,920 as the Conservatives, though. 321 00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:09,040 He's got a long time until the next election. 322 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:10,280 He's got a large majority. 323 00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:11,320 Yeah. 324 00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:12,520 He's got a new mug. 325 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:15,080 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 326 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:18,000 What a week. Yeah. 327 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:20,760 He said... 328 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:23,640 A lot of his MPs and members of the cabinet were saying, 329 00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:26,040 "Why don't you scrap the cut on winter fuel allowance?" 330 00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:28,440 And he said, "Because that would be a good ide..." 331 00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:30,800 No, he didn't say that. 332 00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:32,960 There was one Labour campaigner suggested to the Guardian 333 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,120 it was more a protest vote against Labour than 334 00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:36,480 a positive vote for Reform. 335 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:39,440 What evidence did she use for this, do you know? 336 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:42,520 This is what politicians always say. "It's just a protest vote." 337 00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:44,480 Well, it was actually spoilt ballot papers. 338 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:47,360 She told the Guardian... 339 00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:53,800 LAUGHTER 340 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,280 Andrea Jenkyns, who's now Mayor of Lincolnshire for Reform, 341 00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:58,280 she's the queen of graphic gestures, isn't she? 342 00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:01,080 In fact, there's rude gestures... 343 00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:03,320 One involving a finger and one involving a tongue. 344 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:04,360 Sometimes together. 345 00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:05,560 Wow. 346 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:08,120 MILES:Does she do this over dinner? 347 00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:13,120 APPLAUSE 348 00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:16,880 We've got that. Have a look. 349 00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:17,960 Oh. That's good. 350 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:18,960 There she is. 351 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,160 I'm going to come first. 352 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:23,360 Somebody's pissed up that wall behind her. 353 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:27,240 LAUGHTER 354 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:30,960 And I'm looking at the man in the brown shorts behind her! 355 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:35,320 "Oh, excuse me." 356 00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:39,120 There have already been quite a few "war on woke" statements 357 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:42,280 of intent from Reform, but they tend to be hitting 358 00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:43,840 the brick wall of reality. 359 00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:45,520 The mayor of Lincolnshire, Andrea Jenkyns, pledged 360 00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:48,640 to fire all diversity, equality and inclusion officers, 361 00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:53,200 but there aren't actually any in Lincolnshire County Council, 362 00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,440 so there's nobody to fire. 363 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:57,840 Just proves how quickly she works. 364 00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:02,760 But the Conservatives were hoping to fight their own war on woke. 365 00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:06,720 They've been talking about the... 366 00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:11,720 COCKNEY ACCENT: "What's all that about, then?" 367 00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:19,800 The man of a thousand voices. 368 00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:22,040 Yogi Bear, Cockneys, Donald Trump. 369 00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:23,720 That's about the employment bill, isn't it? 370 00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:24,760 Exactly. 371 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:26,200 Suppose you run a pub, Miles. 372 00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:27,880 I think we can all picture it. 373 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:28,920 Yes. 374 00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:29,960 Ah, mine host! 375 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,000 The usual, Ian? 376 00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:35,720 Can of Red Stripe under the counter, served after 11.20. 377 00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:40,720 So, anyway, this pub I run... You run a pub. 378 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:47,240 And say one of your one of your bar staff overhears a joke or a bit 379 00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:49,920 of bants that they don't like, they can take legal action 380 00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:52,360 against you for not protecting them from harmful material. 381 00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:55,000 Well, there's actually no speaking at all allowed in my pub. 382 00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:57,120 Quiet reflection. 383 00:16:57,160 --> 00:16:59,320 Yeah, it's, yeah, it's a kind of mindful bar. 384 00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:01,400 It's really about... 385 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:03,320 There's a gong bath on Thursdays. 386 00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:04,760 That's probably the really rowdy night. 387 00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:06,440 Otherwise people just sort of silently thinking 388 00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:08,480 about where it's all gone wrong. 389 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:12,920 Not so different from a Wetherspoons on an afternoon. 390 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:17,200 Meanwhile, what better combination of people to discuss the VE 391 00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:20,120 commemorations than Rylan and Emma Willis? 392 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:23,480 They were hoping to rope in some of the survivors of World War II 393 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:25,720 to their cosy chitchat. 394 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:27,440 Let's have a look what happened. 395 00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:28,480 Thank you, all... 396 00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:29,520 Good morning, everyone. 397 00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:31,200 ..so much for being with us today. 398 00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:32,480 It's an honour... 399 00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:33,800 It is. 400 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:36,200 ..to be sat with you and to hear your stories. 401 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:37,240 Thank you. Thank you! 402 00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:38,280 Thank you. 403 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:40,320 Shall we start with you then, Gladys? 404 00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:42,080 I don't care. 405 00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:45,120 LAUGHTER 406 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:49,000 Oh, no. 407 00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:52,880 That is the proper spirit, though. 408 00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:53,920 Yes. 409 00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:56,680 And then they added in the magical ingredient of Gyles Brandreth. 410 00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:58,760 Just keep your eyes on Rylan. 411 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:01,600 It is called barebacking. 412 00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:06,600 So, you know, like horse riding, where you ride bareback. 413 00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:10,760 Um, so this is called barebacking for Gen Z, 414 00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:14,960 where they travel without anything. 415 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:18,560 I began doing this a few years ago and I was called a raw dog. 416 00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:21,880 I said, while I'm in the raw dog, you're living life in the raw. 417 00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:25,640 Yeah. 418 00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:28,480 And then finally, what is Tony Blair doing here? 419 00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:33,400 Look what I found in my pocket. 420 00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:36,760 Is he working for them as a lobbyist? 421 00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:38,680 They were at a climate conference together. 422 00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:39,840 A climate conference. 423 00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:41,520 Obviously! Obviously! 424 00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:43,520 Tony was saying, "Don't worry about it. 425 00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:44,600 It's happening slowly." 426 00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:46,040 Yeah. 427 00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:47,440 That's not a very good impression. 428 00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:50,480 I'm up against the master! 429 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:53,360 I know, he has raised the bar. He has raised the bar. 430 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:56,720 I would have said, "Hi, guys. Don't go so fast on the net zero." 431 00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,400 I love Danny DeVito. Yeah. 432 00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:00,760 He's good. 433 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:05,760 APPLAUSE 434 00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:08,000 This is the local election results, which have, 435 00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:09,960 according to experts, brought Nigel Farage one step 436 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,840 closer to Number Ten. 437 00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:13,960 Keir Starmer, talking at the VE Day commemoration event, 438 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:17,360 said that we owe the veterans a debt that can... 439 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:22,760 You could start by giving them back their winter fuel allowance. 440 00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:27,280 APPLAUSE 441 00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:29,400 Following their wipe-out of the local elections, 442 00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:31,800 one Conservative MP commented... 443 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:38,920 To be fair, the Titanic had more survivors. 444 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:42,280 After a good night for his party, Ed Davey announced that the Lib Dems 445 00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:44,440 were on their best ever winning streak. 446 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:48,720 Oh, now Ed Davey's got the word "streak" in his head. 447 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:54,280 A big swing to the Lib Dems. 448 00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:59,000 Time now for the odd one out round. Just one between you this week. 449 00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:00,040 Ed Davey. Yes. 450 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:01,720 Vladimir Putin. Ooh. 451 00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:03,760 Tom Archer from The Archers 452 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:05,680 and Pliny the Elder. 453 00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:08,320 Now, this might be just a coincidence, but does the surname 454 00:20:08,360 --> 00:20:10,000 Archer, is that relevant to the final...? 455 00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:12,160 Because, I mean, Putin's doing the two fingered thing, 456 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:14,560 which is something that English archers did at the Battle 457 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:15,600 of Agincourt, I think. 458 00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:18,000 It's got nothing to do with the Battle of Agincourt. 459 00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:20,400 I thought on a topical news quiz, it was unlikely. 460 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:23,520 Mind you, we got Pliny the Elder there, and he's the only one 461 00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:26,160 with a dead conger eel on his head. 462 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:28,960 Tom Archer's wearing a gilet. 463 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:32,800 I'd be amazed if Ed Davey doesn't own a gilet. 464 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:34,480 I'm going to give you a clue. 465 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:36,120 It's about a popular, trendy drink. 466 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:40,720 Oh, um, Jagerbombs. 467 00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:43,840 They all, they're all absolutely daft for the jagerbombs. 468 00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:45,000 Yeah. 469 00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:47,520 Apart from Ed Davey, because he still likes Aftershock. 470 00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:52,520 I had to dig that one out. 471 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:54,560 Think about good for your guts. 472 00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,000 Oh, yeasty filter... 473 00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:57,720 Kefir. 474 00:20:57,760 --> 00:20:58,760 There we go. 475 00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,440 Specifically kefir. Yeah. 476 00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:01,520 Yeah. 477 00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:04,120 So who's the odd one out, then? Oh, Pliny the Elder. 478 00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:05,600 Why is it Pliny the Elder? 479 00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:07,480 Well, because it, obviously, just look at him. 480 00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:10,560 He's not got as diverse a microbiome as the other three. 481 00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:12,720 That's exactly right. 482 00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:15,680 That can't be the word for word answer. 483 00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:18,800 They're all fans of fermented milk, apart from Pliny the Elder. 484 00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:22,320 "Fermented milk!" 485 00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:25,200 Pliny the Elder was a fan of fermented cabbage. 486 00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:27,440 Is that what kimchi is? Kimchi? 487 00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:31,280 No. He's the leader of North Korea. 488 00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:34,800 Pliny wrote a 37-book magnum opus... 489 00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:36,720 Yeah, Natural History. 490 00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:37,760 There you go. 491 00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:40,000 Which contains a chapter called... 492 00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:44,200 ..which reveals how, when boiled and mixed 493 00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:45,840 with salt, cabbage can... 494 00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:50,760 ..making him one of the earliest writers on record to 495 00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:52,360 advocate sauerkraut. 496 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:55,880 The father of a large movement. 497 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:02,720 Do you know any of the other 86 ways that Pliny 498 00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:04,200 recommended using cabbage? 499 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:05,320 No, no! 500 00:22:05,360 --> 00:22:08,080 Is the surprising answer. 501 00:22:08,120 --> 00:22:11,120 He recorded that... 502 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:14,760 Or cause it. 503 00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:17,200 And... 504 00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:25,040 And when they're teenagers, they'll beat the shit out 505 00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:28,400 of you for making them bathe in somebody else's piss. 506 00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:31,880 Pliny the Elder did indeed die in the eruption 507 00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:33,920 of Mount Vesuvius in 79 AD. 508 00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:37,000 Even cabbage couldn't save him. Yeah. 509 00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:39,320 No. 510 00:22:39,360 --> 00:22:41,480 It was the second worst eruption in his lifetime. 511 00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:44,080 The first... 512 00:22:44,120 --> 00:22:46,880 Absolutely love this round! 513 00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:49,040 What happened when Ed Davey drank fermented milk every 514 00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:50,440 day for seven weeks? 515 00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:51,880 He grew udders. 516 00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:56,240 He lost two stones. 517 00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:57,840 Lost two stone on fermented milk. 518 00:22:57,880 --> 00:23:00,720 He saw the benefits after going on a diet that consisted largely 519 00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:01,800 of kefir and kimchi. 520 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:04,520 All beginning with a K. Kombucha is another one. 521 00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:06,920 Does it have quite a violent effect on the body? 522 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:08,600 I didn't really know what it was. 523 00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:11,240 I ordered some in a cafe, and when I ordered it, 524 00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:13,400 they went, "Oh, you know, that's a health drink." 525 00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:15,320 And I went, "Well, I'm sure it's fine." 526 00:23:15,360 --> 00:23:17,960 And then someone came back over with the thing and said, 527 00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:19,640 "Did one of you order the kombucha?" 528 00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:21,080 And I said, "I ordered it." 529 00:23:21,120 --> 00:23:23,480 And they went, "You know that that's a health drink?" 530 00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:26,400 And then when they bought it, they said, "Are you the kombucha?" 531 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:29,480 I said, "Yes," and they went, "You do know it's a health drink?" 532 00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:31,160 I got the impression, I started panicking. 533 00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:34,280 I thought, this is going to clean me out within seconds or something, 534 00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:35,480 giving me so many warnings. 535 00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:37,640 Started moving other tables back, that sort of thing. 536 00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:40,520 People appeared in the periphery of my vision with mops and things. 537 00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:42,680 Selling the business. I'm definitely coming to your pub. 538 00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:47,680 We'll all go. Pint of the usual. 539 00:23:50,120 --> 00:23:52,240 What happened when Radio 4's Tom Archer brought kefir 540 00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:53,440 to the village of Ambridge? 541 00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:54,560 Any Archers followers? 542 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:57,880 There was umbrage. 543 00:23:57,920 --> 00:23:59,560 It's true. They didn't much like it. 544 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:02,840 Tom Archer, described by The Guardian as a... 545 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:09,880 ..once went to Brazil to research bacteria 546 00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:13,640 and came back to Borsetshire to launch his own kefir business. 547 00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:17,920 How do we know that Vladimir Putin likes fermented milk? 548 00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:20,320 He's talked about it in interviews That's absolutely true. 549 00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:23,000 What other answer could there be? Yeah. 550 00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:25,160 Well, there's a new documentary celebrating Putin's 25 years 551 00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:29,000 in power, and it showed us a glimpse inside his Moscow apartment, 552 00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:32,240 where he shared a glass of kefir with a journalist. 553 00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:33,280 Here he is. 554 00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:34,680 Mm. 555 00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:39,680 IN RUSSIAN 556 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:47,720 That's polonium. 557 00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:49,880 Cathy, you said you'd really like to interview Putin. 558 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:50,920 Yeah, I still would. 559 00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:52,600 Well, I've been banned from Russia now. 560 00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:54,760 How does it... Does it arrive in a letter? 561 00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:55,800 Do you get...? 562 00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:58,200 They just did a list of journalists who were banned. 563 00:24:58,240 --> 00:24:59,880 MILES:Who else has been banned, then? 564 00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:04,000 Rylan? 565 00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:06,160 Vladimir Putin has given a journalist a rare tour 566 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:07,320 of his Kremlin apartment. 567 00:25:07,360 --> 00:25:08,720 A flat! 568 00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:11,840 Let's just say I'd be surprised if the family upstairs let the kids 569 00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:14,640 learn a musical instrument. 570 00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:16,360 Showing off his fridge, Vladimir Putin revealed 571 00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:18,440 he was a big fan of... 572 00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:24,440 It's just normal milk that he's looked at. 573 00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:27,000 Right. Time for the missing words round. 574 00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:30,040 We start with... 575 00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:37,520 Proving to be a gateway to Hades. 576 00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:42,520 Relaunching E.coli. 577 00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:50,200 Here is Bella, the robot, with her two human co-workers. 578 00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:52,240 Bella can respond to a number of situations. 579 00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:56,480 For example... 580 00:25:56,520 --> 00:26:01,480 Something she learned from Gino D'Acampo. 581 00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:06,840 Next... 582 00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:10,480 Liverpool fans celebration. 583 00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:11,920 Is absolutely right. 584 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:13,600 Liverpool Premier League win, there you go. 585 00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:16,240 Tremor in Liverpool was so powerful that at the other end 586 00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:20,440 of the country, it was briefly jolting Arsenal fans awake. 587 00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:24,000 What do you think Arsenal's chances are of winning the Champions League? 588 00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:27,680 Um, well, they're up against Real Magnifico, um... 589 00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:32,200 One of the great superheroes of our time. 590 00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:35,040 I think they're going to cruise it myself. 591 00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:37,480 Yeah, they've been knocked out. 592 00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:42,000 APPLAUSE 593 00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:45,720 I do love this banter. 594 00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:49,040 What's that all about, then? 595 00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:54,040 That's fantastic. Dick Van Dyke. 596 00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:56,120 Yeah. 597 00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:58,040 But that brings us to the final scores. 598 00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:00,720 Paul and Miles have four, Ian and Cathy have six! 599 00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:05,720 APPLAUSE 600 00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:11,880 We just have time for the caption competition. 601 00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:15,560 So, ladies, here we are. 602 00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:20,560 Ladies, I was thinking maybe sushi. 603 00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:25,840 My friends call me Jacob Rees-Mogg. 604 00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:29,920 APPLAUSE 605 00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:31,240 Three good ones. 606 00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:33,640 On which note, we say thank you to our panellists 607 00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:36,040 Ian Hislop and Cathy Newman, Paul Merton and Miles Jupp. 608 00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:38,440 And I'll leave you with news that at Tate Modern, 609 00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:40,840 a new sculpture is revealed, inspired by how voters feel 610 00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:43,720 about Labour's first year in government. 611 00:27:48,120 --> 00:27:50,720 After leaving his glasses at home, an embarrassed King Charles has 612 00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:54,440 to apologise for his mistake when posting a letter. 613 00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:01,480 And in Whitby, excitement gave way to disappointment after a sighting 614 00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:06,480 of the UK's biggest cockle turned out to be a false alarm. 615 00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:13,640 Goodnight. 616 00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:18,640 APPLAUSE