1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.MX
2
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
3
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:16,808
Hello, pigs.
4
00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:20,061
I think we can all agree that America
is a rotting corpse of an empire
5
00:00:20,061 --> 00:00:21,563
and we live in hell.
6
00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:24,232
So when Netflix gave us
a bunch of money to make a...
7
00:00:24,232 --> 00:00:26,609
whatever-the-fuck-we're-doing
about the election,
8
00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:30,363
we figured, why waste
our time talking to politicians?
9
00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:34,367
Let's talk to the food-poisoned,
drug-addicted sex criminals who live here.
10
00:00:34,367 --> 00:00:36,286
- [crowd cheering]
- Yeah!
11
00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:37,620
[Tim Dillon] Come on.
12
00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:40,999
My name is Tim Dillon,
and regrettably, This Is Your Country.
13
00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:43,460
[cheering]
14
00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:46,046
[1980's-style synth theme playing]
15
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,547
Why is it your business
16
00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:50,008
if your cousin
wants to pop her P for cash?
17
00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:51,634
Kill that Canadian bitch
18
00:00:51,634 --> 00:00:53,595
- after the fucking show.
- [chanting] USA! USA!
19
00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:55,305
{\an8}One coffee a day, not two or three.
20
00:00:55,305 --> 00:00:57,265
{\an8}- Okay, Hitler.
- [crowd laughing]
21
00:00:57,265 --> 00:00:59,184
{\an8}If you love her, pay her.
22
00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:00,268
{\an8}Thank you!
23
00:01:00,268 --> 00:01:02,812
You know why?
It's the greatest country in the world.
24
00:01:02,812 --> 00:01:05,523
[crowd applauding, cheering]
25
00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:10,528
[chanting] Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim!
26
00:01:10,528 --> 00:01:12,655
[cheering continues]
27
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:16,868
[music fades]
28
00:01:18,453 --> 00:01:21,956
He massages BBLs on OnlyFans for a living,
29
00:01:21,956 --> 00:01:26,044
but he's here to tell his girlfriend
he also is a porn star.
30
00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:27,754
[crowd whooping]
31
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:32,342
That's right, ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome William to the show.
32
00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:36,096
- [funky synth music playing]
- [crowd cheering]
33
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:41,267
[indistinct chatter]
34
00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:43,061
- William, how are you?
- [William] Yes.
35
00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:44,521
I'm doing amazing.
36
00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:46,940
You massage
37
00:01:48,149 --> 00:01:50,693
Brazilian butt lifts for a living.
38
00:01:50,693 --> 00:01:51,903
Yes, I do.
39
00:01:51,903 --> 00:01:53,738
And you do that on OnlyFans?
40
00:01:53,738 --> 00:01:57,075
{\an8}I do that on OnlyFans,
and I do that for my job as well.
41
00:01:57,075 --> 00:01:59,702
{\an8}And do you do any other type of massage?
42
00:01:59,702 --> 00:02:01,454
I mean, I'm trained in all areas,
43
00:02:01,454 --> 00:02:04,082
but I focus on the... the glutes.
44
00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:06,459
[scattered laughing]
45
00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:09,003
What is it? Is it
like kneading a good sourdough?
46
00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:10,964
- What is...
- [laughs]
47
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:13,258
In fact, know what, William?
Why don't you just show us?
48
00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:15,176
- No problem.
- Bring out the BBL.
49
00:02:15,176 --> 00:02:16,636
[crowd cheering]
50
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:22,684
[Tim] Bring out the BBL, baby!
51
00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:25,395
William, I want you to stand up,
52
00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:27,230
and I want you to walk the audience
53
00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,691
- through a BBL massage.
- [William] Definitely. Definitely.
54
00:02:30,608 --> 00:02:32,902
Well, this... this might be pre-BBL.
55
00:02:32,902 --> 00:02:34,529
[crowd laughing]
56
00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:37,866
Gotta lube it up or moisturize it up,
put a little bit in your hands,
57
00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:40,910
and then you want to just slowly caress.
58
00:02:42,537 --> 00:02:45,123
Is there any special technique other than
59
00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:49,210
what I... what we just saw, really,
is you just kind of grabbing an ass.
60
00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:50,128
[William] Yes.
61
00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:51,045
[crowd laughing]
62
00:02:51,045 --> 00:02:53,965
{\an8}So as you're massaging it,
you want to just check in with them,
63
00:02:53,965 --> 00:02:57,093
{\an8}you know, from time to time,
ask them, "Hey, how's it doing?"
64
00:02:57,093 --> 00:02:58,428
"You want more pressure?"
65
00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:00,889
Sometimes, you know,
they'll moan instead of saying yes,
66
00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:01,931
- so...
- [Tim] Right.
67
00:03:01,931 --> 00:03:05,852
You know, when they moan, they'll
probably moan like, "Oh, yes. Yes!"
68
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:10,231
Does your girlfriend have any issue with
you doing this specific type of massage?
69
00:03:10,231 --> 00:03:13,401
Unfortunately, my girlfriend
does have a huge issue with it.
70
00:03:13,401 --> 00:03:15,695
- Yeah. [laughs]
- But I try to explain to her...
71
00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:17,447
That's shocking that she has a big...
72
00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:20,825
I'm trying to explain to her,
"This is what I was born to do."
73
00:03:20,825 --> 00:03:21,910
[Tim] That's right.
74
00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:24,621
- I was put on Earth to do this.
- That's right. To do this.
75
00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:26,831
- [crowd cheering]
- He knows what he wants.
76
00:03:27,415 --> 00:03:32,545
Now, listen, you didn't fly here
just to show people,
77
00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:36,132
"Here's how to massage an ass
that we bought at the Halloween store."
78
00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:37,508
[scattered chuckling]
79
00:03:38,134 --> 00:03:41,012
Okay? I'm kidding,
this couple let us borrow it, you know?
80
00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:43,348
What, uh... [laughing]
81
00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:47,477
You're here to confess to your girlfriend
that you used to do porn.
82
00:03:48,144 --> 00:03:48,978
Yeah.
83
00:03:48,978 --> 00:03:51,064
[boisterous cheering]
84
00:03:51,814 --> 00:03:53,399
- [crowd chanting] Bring her out!
- William...
85
00:03:53,399 --> 00:03:55,276
Bring her out! Bring her out!
86
00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:58,488
- All right, ladies and gentlemen...
- [chanting fades]
87
00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:01,532
please welcome Shireiny to the show.
88
00:04:01,532 --> 00:04:02,700
[cheering]
89
00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:05,370
Are you fucking kidding me?
Yo, three years.
90
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:08,289
Three years of this fucking bullshit
I gotta deal with you.
91
00:04:08,289 --> 00:04:10,625
This shit is fucking crazy
and mad embarrassing.
92
00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:14,045
Shireiny, what is...
What is making you, uh, upset?
93
00:04:14,045 --> 00:04:16,756
{\an8}What's making me upset
is he be around ass and titties all day.
94
00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:18,591
{\an8}Like, do you not have enough at home?
95
00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:19,550
{\an8}It's a job.
96
00:04:19,550 --> 00:04:21,636
- All right, well, get another job!
- It's a job.
97
00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:22,804
Get another job!
98
00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:24,973
Why don't you go
fucking work at Target? Huh?
99
00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:26,683
- You got the outfit for it.
- Target.
100
00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:28,851
[crowd laughing, cheering]
101
00:04:28,851 --> 00:04:31,354
[William] What a comedienne.
What a jokester. Little jokester.
102
00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:33,773
How would you feel
if I was around dick all day? Huh?
103
00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:35,817
Dick in my face all day?
104
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:37,902
Well, William is here
105
00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:40,071
to tell you something.
106
00:04:40,071 --> 00:04:42,490
William, this is your moment of truth.
107
00:04:42,490 --> 00:04:43,449
{\an8}[William sighs]
108
00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:47,245
{\an8}I used to do... I did porn.
109
00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:48,204
What?
110
00:04:48,204 --> 00:04:49,622
[crowd gasping]
111
00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:51,291
- No.
- It was in the past.
112
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,960
- Y'all pranking me, right? Nah.
- It was in the past.
113
00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:55,503
It was... It's...
114
00:04:55,503 --> 00:04:59,048
Can you be more specific by "porn?"
What do you mean by porn?
115
00:04:59,048 --> 00:05:01,509
I recorded myself having sex with women.
116
00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:03,970
That does sound like porn.
117
00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:05,305
[crowd laughing]
118
00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:08,558
And you brought me here to tell me that?
119
00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:11,728
I want to come clean,
to put everything on the table.
120
00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:13,396
I wanna just start fresh.
121
00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:16,024
I'm gonna sit over here,
'cause I'm disgusted right now.
122
00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:18,359
- [Tim] Wow.
- [crowd cheering]
123
00:05:18,359 --> 00:05:19,944
William, William...
124
00:05:19,944 --> 00:05:21,863
Why didn't you tell me that when we met?
125
00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:24,991
Because if you can't handle...
If you can't handle me doing massages,
126
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:28,036
I know for a fact you could not
handle me doing porn. Come on now.
127
00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:30,913
If you can't handle him
at his BBL massage,
128
00:05:30,913 --> 00:05:33,499
you don't deserve him at his, uh, porn.
129
00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:35,126
[crowd chuckling]
130
00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:37,545
There's somebody else
who's been listening as well.
131
00:05:37,545 --> 00:05:39,464
It's not just
your beautiful girlfriend here.
132
00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:41,799
- What? He got another girl?
- [Tim] No, hold on.
133
00:05:41,799 --> 00:05:43,634
Well, yes and no.
134
00:05:43,634 --> 00:05:44,761
[crowd] Ooh...
135
00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:46,346
- [Tim] Yes and no.
- Nah.
136
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:49,932
Ladies and gentlemen,
William's mother is backstage.
137
00:05:49,932 --> 00:05:51,726
[crowd cheering, laughing]
138
00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:54,312
And she probably has a few opinions.
139
00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:58,900
Please welcome Sata, everybody!
140
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,443
[crowd cheering]
141
00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:02,070
Hey, Mama!
142
00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:03,363
[William] Yo...
143
00:06:06,949 --> 00:06:09,577
Well, fill her in, William,
for what's been going on.
144
00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:11,954
[William exhaling] Yo, this is crazy.
145
00:06:12,830 --> 00:06:14,248
{\an8}- [Shireiny] Shit is crazy.
- I, uh...
146
00:06:14,248 --> 00:06:15,375
{\an8}Yo, what the hell?
147
00:06:16,334 --> 00:06:18,795
{\an8}I came clean to Shireiny
about me doing porn.
148
00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:21,672
- You knew he used to do porn?
- Wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
149
00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:23,966
Wait. Wait a second.
150
00:06:25,426 --> 00:06:26,803
Doing porn?
151
00:06:27,595 --> 00:06:29,847
- Yes. I did porn.
- Not OnlyFans, porn porn.
152
00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:31,474
- Same thing.
- Having sex?
153
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:32,392
It's not.
154
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:36,854
It's the... Yes.
It was, like, three years ago.
155
00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:38,940
- [man] He's still doing it!
- [woman] Liar!
156
00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:42,276
William, when did you stop?
When did you stop doing porn?
157
00:06:42,276 --> 00:06:43,986
{\an8}- Wait a second. I'm sorry.
- [Tim] Yeah.
158
00:06:44,862 --> 00:06:46,823
{\an8}You went to school...
159
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:47,865
{\an8}Right.
160
00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:49,659
{\an8}...to do film.
161
00:06:50,618 --> 00:06:51,869
[crowd laughing]
162
00:06:51,869 --> 00:06:54,831
I'm not understanding.
I bought you all the equipment.
163
00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:56,666
- I bought you cameras.
- I know.
164
00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,626
I bought you lights, I bought you booms,
165
00:06:58,626 --> 00:07:00,837
I bought you the stuff.
I'm not understanding.
166
00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:02,213
I make a really good living.
167
00:07:02,213 --> 00:07:05,216
Can you tell us how much money
you're making doing this?
168
00:07:05,216 --> 00:07:06,217
Six figures.
169
00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:08,886
'Cause I'm not only doing the porn,
170
00:07:08,886 --> 00:07:12,056
I can... I shoot the porn, I edit the porn.
171
00:07:12,056 --> 00:07:13,933
I'm knee-deep in this porn industry.
172
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:15,101
[crowd applauding]
173
00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:16,853
- Yeah!
- Whoo!
174
00:07:17,728 --> 00:07:18,813
Hold on. Wait, wait, wait.
175
00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:21,232
What's your porn name?
176
00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:23,109
It's "Long Willy."
177
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:25,069
[crowd laughing]
178
00:07:25,069 --> 00:07:26,737
Long... [laughs]
179
00:07:26,737 --> 00:07:30,366
Sata, your son
is a very enterprising young man--
180
00:07:30,366 --> 00:07:33,244
I wanna say this.
Kim Kardashian, she had a sex tape. Look--
181
00:07:33,244 --> 00:07:36,247
- That was a secret sex tape.
- [William] Wait! She had a sex tape.
182
00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:38,583
- A billionaire off a sex tape.
- [Tim] That's a good point.
183
00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:41,169
- That's a good point for William.
- [William] Come on.
184
00:07:41,169 --> 00:07:42,920
- Kim Kardashian...
- Thank you.
185
00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:45,381
...that is our most successful whore.
186
00:07:45,381 --> 00:07:47,383
- Yes.
- [Tim] That is a very good point.
187
00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:50,595
Can you stand up, sir?
Now, you watch porn.
188
00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:52,472
- Let me ask you a question.
- [laughing]
189
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:55,099
How do you feel about a young man
190
00:07:55,099 --> 00:07:57,351
doing porn and making money from it?
191
00:07:57,351 --> 00:07:59,520
- I think he's an entrepreneur.
- My man.
192
00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:02,106
If you had a child,
would you mind if they did porn?
193
00:08:02,106 --> 00:08:03,483
I wouldn't let them do porn.
194
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:04,901
- [Shireiny] Exactly.
- So you...
195
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:07,361
- Do you find that a little hypocritical?
- Yeah.
196
00:08:07,361 --> 00:08:10,114
- But you wouldn't let your child do porn?
- [laughing] No.
197
00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:13,201
But you watch a lot of fucking porn.
198
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:17,205
I mean, if people
went on your laptop right now,
199
00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:19,790
they wouldn't be able to sleep,
let's be honest.
200
00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:21,334
And it's not regular porn.
201
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:24,253
It's women's heads
going through glass tables, it's bad.
202
00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:27,673
You can't cum unless someone's bleeding.
Let's be honest.
203
00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:30,218
The things that are on your laptop...
204
00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:33,304
All right, sit down
before the FBI gets here. Uh...
205
00:08:34,138 --> 00:08:37,225
Are you massaging anyone
right now on OnlyFans
206
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:39,018
that you had sex with in the past?
207
00:08:40,102 --> 00:08:41,145
Potentially. Yeah.
208
00:08:41,145 --> 00:08:42,980
- What?
- Shireiny.
209
00:08:42,980 --> 00:08:45,441
- In the past. In the past. Yes.
- Are you kidding me?
210
00:08:45,441 --> 00:08:47,693
You should not be
dealing with no girl you slept with
211
00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:49,862
whether it's work or not.
It does not matter.
212
00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:52,740
So if I was a doctor
and she was dying, I can't...
213
00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:55,326
"Sorry, we had sex,
I can't save your life. Gotta die."
214
00:08:55,326 --> 00:08:57,787
- No! Let the bitch die.
- It doesn't work like that.
215
00:08:57,787 --> 00:09:00,581
- You let the bitch die.
- [Tim] I do see William's point.
216
00:09:00,581 --> 00:09:01,832
I do see William's point.
217
00:09:01,832 --> 00:09:04,669
If you were massaging
a woman's ass to life
218
00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:07,547
and being paid for it on OnlyFans,
I understand.
219
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,423
How many people in this audience think
220
00:09:09,423 --> 00:09:11,676
they should rise above this
and just stay together?
221
00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:13,302
- Yeah!
- [scattered applause]
222
00:09:13,302 --> 00:09:14,762
That's a fair amount.
223
00:09:14,762 --> 00:09:16,430
How many people in this audience
224
00:09:16,430 --> 00:09:20,142
think that Shireiny
has the right to say "fuck you"?
225
00:09:20,142 --> 00:09:22,853
[loud cheering]
226
00:09:24,605 --> 00:09:28,276
William, there's one more thing
that you have to do right now.
227
00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:31,612
One more thing you have to say
before God, before this country,
228
00:09:31,612 --> 00:09:35,283
before your mother,
before your beautiful girlfriend,
229
00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:38,119
and we're going to give you
a chance to say it right now.
230
00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:40,830
{\an8}- Oh my God. I'm scared now.
- [exhaling] Shit, bro.
231
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:43,833
{\an8}- Let me get up. I gotta get up for this.
- Where you going?
232
00:09:45,209 --> 00:09:46,043
[exhales]
233
00:09:46,043 --> 00:09:49,130
I will beat you up if you come
over here and try to hug me, like...
234
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:50,256
Look, look, look, look.
235
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:53,801
[sighs] Look, babe,
we done been through a lot,
236
00:09:54,468 --> 00:09:57,263
and you always been there for me
at my lowest, you know?
237
00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:59,015
When I'm down there massaging women,
238
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:02,768
my hands may be on their ass,
but my eyes are always on you.
239
00:10:02,768 --> 00:10:04,228
- You're full of shit.
- You know?
240
00:10:04,228 --> 00:10:05,313
- You know?
- [applause]
241
00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:08,232
You're a fool.
If you go for this, you're a fool.
242
00:10:08,232 --> 00:10:10,151
And you're about to cry, you're crazy.
243
00:10:10,151 --> 00:10:13,654
And I know, I know my dick
is out there on the Internet.
244
00:10:13,654 --> 00:10:14,780
Little Willy.
245
00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:17,366
It's not Little Willy.
246
00:10:17,366 --> 00:10:18,534
But, look, babe.
247
00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:22,246
This might be
the craziest thing I ever did, man.
248
00:10:22,830 --> 00:10:23,664
[exhales]
249
00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:25,708
- I want to be...
- What?
250
00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:28,753
[crowd cheering]
251
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:30,296
I want to be...
252
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,465
- I want to be your porn star.
- No.
253
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:35,009
I want to be your porn star
for the rest of my life.
254
00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:37,303
There's no way
that she's gonna accept that.
255
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:39,180
- Close that. No way.
- Will you marry me?
256
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:41,140
- You're crazy.
- I wanna be your porn star.
257
00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:43,643
[screaming] Yeah!
258
00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:46,604
[Tim] Give it up for them.
Give it up for them.
259
00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:49,482
- That is a happy couple.
- [crowd applauding]
260
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:51,525
[Tim] That is a beautiful... That is love.
261
00:10:51,525 --> 00:10:55,112
OnlyFans? How about OnlyFam?
262
00:10:55,112 --> 00:10:58,407
Come on! Come on, hug it out!
263
00:10:58,407 --> 00:10:59,533
Hug it out!
264
00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:03,079
Everybody get up.
Come on, Mom, this is beautiful.
265
00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:05,748
You've got your son, your daughter-in-law.
266
00:11:06,457 --> 00:11:08,125
Thank you, guys, so much.
267
00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:13,339
Look at that. That's love. That's love.
268
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:14,965
That's what love is about.
269
00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:18,386
Love is... There's a power in that.
270
00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:20,721
How you feel about that?
What do you think?
271
00:11:20,721 --> 00:11:22,306
I thought it was gross.
272
00:11:22,306 --> 00:11:23,974
- 'Cause they were Black?
- [crowd laughs]
273
00:11:23,974 --> 00:11:25,476
No! No.
274
00:11:26,143 --> 00:11:31,899
Orange County is one of the most
racist places in the entire world,
275
00:11:31,899 --> 00:11:33,776
and it's a little disgusting
276
00:11:34,443 --> 00:11:39,198
to have this white bitch
judge these beautiful people.
277
00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:41,075
It's wrong. I don't like it. I...
278
00:11:41,992 --> 00:11:44,245
I wish you would have taken another thing.
279
00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:49,125
And now, he immigrated
to this country 35 years ago,
280
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:51,836
and now he wants
to get the hell out of here
281
00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:55,131
unless his son can convince him to stay.
282
00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:58,926
Ladies and gentlemen,
please give a warm welcome to Sergio.
283
00:11:58,926 --> 00:12:01,512
- [upbeat synth music playing]
- [crowd cheering]
284
00:12:09,437 --> 00:12:11,439
[Tim] There he is, Sergio.
285
00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:15,067
- Sergio, welcome to the show.
- Thank you.
286
00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:19,739
Is there anything or anyone that could
convince you to stay in this country?
287
00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:21,490
Nah.
288
00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:27,872
{\an8}I, uh, I have decided that America is not
the American Dream for me no more.
289
00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:31,083
- And I'm ready to get out of here.
- Yeah. Yeah.
290
00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:34,670
- I'm out of here, you know?
- Okay, now, why... why do you say that?
291
00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:36,589
Uh, to me, it's not
the same country anymore.
292
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:39,133
You have to have a high-speed Internet,
293
00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:42,678
you have to pay extra gigabytes
on your phone if you go over.
294
00:12:43,262 --> 00:12:45,431
Yes. So you're going over on the phone.
295
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:47,725
Even the American people
have to pay extra.
296
00:12:47,725 --> 00:12:49,810
So your problem really is a data plan.
297
00:12:49,810 --> 00:12:51,270
[crowd laughing]
298
00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:54,064
So if we just bring you to Verizon,
you might stay?
299
00:12:54,982 --> 00:12:57,359
But you sound like
you want to self-deport.
300
00:12:57,359 --> 00:12:59,195
Uh... [laughs]
301
00:13:00,237 --> 00:13:02,323
- [Tim] Which is...
- We might say that.
302
00:13:02,323 --> 00:13:06,076
I think what's holding me
to stay here is my family.
303
00:13:06,076 --> 00:13:07,161
[Tim] That's right.
304
00:13:07,161 --> 00:13:09,121
- But, uh, you know, my sons.
- Yes.
305
00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:11,582
I was not made in China,
I was made in Mexico.
306
00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:12,958
They were born in USA.
307
00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:14,335
- [Tim] Oh, interesting.
- [giggles]
308
00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:15,836
[chuckles] So you said...
309
00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:18,297
[all laughing]
310
00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:20,424
So you said you were not made in China,
311
00:13:20,424 --> 00:13:21,634
you were made in Mexico.
312
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:24,845
- I was made in Mexico.
- And those kids were born in the USA.
313
00:13:24,845 --> 00:13:27,139
What a fucked-up song that is, you know?
314
00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:28,474
[crowd laughing]
315
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:31,977
If anybody can convince you to stay,
316
00:13:32,686 --> 00:13:36,232
it is your son, and he's going to tell you
317
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:40,319
why he wants you to stay in America.
318
00:13:40,319 --> 00:13:42,738
Give it up for Luis, everybody.
319
00:13:42,738 --> 00:13:44,615
[crowd cheering]
320
00:13:44,615 --> 00:13:46,659
[Tim] Give it up for Luis.
321
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:50,871
[crowd chanting] USA! USA! USA! USA!
322
00:13:50,871 --> 00:13:52,414
[continues chanting]
323
00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:53,958
- [Tim] That's right.
- [chanting fades]
324
00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:56,502
Luis, what do you love about America?
325
00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:59,213
{\an8}I mean, we have football,
all the American sports.
326
00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:00,965
{\an8}- Yeah, okay.
- All the money you can make.
327
00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:01,882
{\an8}[Tim] That's right.
328
00:14:01,882 --> 00:14:04,343
{\an8}- Women.
- That's right. Okay.
329
00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:06,971
- [man cheering] Yeah!
- That's right. This guy.
330
00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:09,431
Stand up for a minute,
because you agree with him.
331
00:14:09,431 --> 00:14:11,725
Will you stand up?
Let's stand up for a minute.
332
00:14:12,476 --> 00:14:14,854
The Unabomber wants to say
333
00:14:15,771 --> 00:14:17,189
a few words here.
334
00:14:17,189 --> 00:14:19,316
Now, you agreed,
when Luis was talking about
335
00:14:19,316 --> 00:14:21,819
how much money you can make,
and the women...
336
00:14:22,486 --> 00:14:23,904
What do you say to him?
337
00:14:23,904 --> 00:14:28,117
Well, honestly, I'm about women,
but I'm not necessarily about America.
338
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:30,160
And I mean, the ladies down South...
339
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:31,328
[crowd booing]
340
00:14:31,328 --> 00:14:33,289
[man] I mean, I'm not anti-America.
341
00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:35,958
- I'm, like, I'm neutral.
- Come on. Come on, let him...
342
00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:38,335
Hold on, let him... let him finish.
343
00:14:38,335 --> 00:14:41,755
Now, the ladies...
What do you mean, "The ladies down South"?
344
00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:43,674
Muy caliente.
345
00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:45,801
I got you. All right.
346
00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:49,638
- Now, you are with this lovely man.
- Yes, this is my boyfriend.
347
00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:51,056
- That's your boyfriend.
- Yeah.
348
00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:53,434
When... Stand up for a minute. When...
349
00:14:53,434 --> 00:14:58,731
When he says he likes
these muy caliente ladies
350
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:01,025
from down South,
how does that make you feel?
351
00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:04,486
I mean, like, power to him,
he's with me right now, you know.
352
00:15:04,486 --> 00:15:06,906
I enjoy him and everything, but, you know,
353
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,742
if he was ever to meet one of these ladies
354
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,994
and he wanted to do that,
I'd be, you know...
355
00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:14,079
- More power to him.
- [scattered cheers]
356
00:15:14,079 --> 00:15:15,956
Look what a great country this is.
357
00:15:15,956 --> 00:15:19,335
Look how understanding
these two homeless people are
358
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:23,631
about each other's sexual proclivities.
359
00:15:24,798 --> 00:15:25,633
There's...
360
00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:27,009
[chuckling]
361
00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:28,969
There's no other country in the world
362
00:15:28,969 --> 00:15:31,680
where you'll have
an unhoused couple like this
363
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:34,642
crawl out of their tent,
go to a Tim Dillon taping
364
00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:38,312
and say, "Honey,
you can fuck whoever you want
365
00:15:38,312 --> 00:15:43,067
as long as you steal some canned food
and bring it back to this tent at night."
366
00:15:44,151 --> 00:15:47,696
I mean, look at these two.
This is what America is about.
367
00:15:47,696 --> 00:15:51,575
[crowd chanting] USA! USA! USA!
368
00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:54,453
This is what America is about.
369
00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:58,374
This Orange County couple
is so fucking scared right now.
370
00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:02,586
Knife them after the show.
Run up on them and knife 'em.
371
00:16:02,586 --> 00:16:07,341
Take their fucking BMW
and their fucking sailboat or whatever.
372
00:16:07,341 --> 00:16:10,552
Well, is anyone an immigrant
in this audience?
373
00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:13,555
Okay, we want to hear from immigrants,
374
00:16:13,555 --> 00:16:15,891
especially this white woman
who's lying about it.
375
00:16:15,891 --> 00:16:17,351
[crowd laughing]
376
00:16:17,851 --> 00:16:20,312
She better have
a real fucking Ukrainian accent
377
00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:22,523
when I get up to this fucking woman.
378
00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:24,775
Hold on, where did you come from?
379
00:16:24,775 --> 00:16:25,943
Canada.
380
00:16:25,943 --> 00:16:28,028
[crowd jeering]
381
00:16:32,032 --> 00:16:37,830
[chanting] USA! USA! USA!
382
00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:39,498
[chanting fades]
383
00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:43,252
Kill that Canadian bitch
after the fucking show, okay?
384
00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:46,672
You fucking... These tweakers
are going to light you on fire
385
00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:48,966
after this fucking show.
386
00:16:49,466 --> 00:16:53,137
These extras from Breaking Bad,
these monsters.
387
00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:56,557
We paid for their STD check
before they came here.
388
00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:59,727
This free clinic
where we got these people.
389
00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:01,937
Sir, you're a different color.
390
00:17:01,937 --> 00:17:04,023
[crowd laughing]
391
00:17:05,941 --> 00:17:07,609
Where... Yeah, stand up. Stand up.
392
00:17:07,609 --> 00:17:09,361
Where do you come from?
393
00:17:09,361 --> 00:17:10,696
Uh, I was born here.
394
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:12,573
Enough with this!
395
00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:15,367
That's not what I mean.
I mean in the racist way.
396
00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:17,828
- Like the Orange County people would say.
- Oh.
397
00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:19,997
Where does your family come from?
398
00:17:19,997 --> 00:17:21,457
Mexico. Both from Mexico.
399
00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:23,751
And look how... And you are thriving here.
400
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:25,377
I actually love it here, yeah.
401
00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:28,714
- What do you do for a living?
- Customer support for education tech.
402
00:17:29,214 --> 00:17:30,758
Kill yourself. Here's the thing...
403
00:17:32,092 --> 00:17:36,722
I cannot find one reason to keep this man
in this shithole of a country.
404
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:37,806
I cannot.
405
00:17:37,806 --> 00:17:42,186
I believe we have a patriot
406
00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:47,357
who will come out here
and convince Sergio once and for all
407
00:17:47,357 --> 00:17:50,194
that this is
the greatest country in the world.
408
00:17:50,194 --> 00:17:53,947
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome Bandit to the show.
409
00:17:53,947 --> 00:17:56,283
{\an8}[applause, cheering]
410
00:17:57,785 --> 00:17:59,286
{\an8}[Tim] Give it up for Bandit!
411
00:17:59,286 --> 00:18:01,121
Give it up for Bandit!
412
00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:03,332
Take a seat.
413
00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:05,375
USA!
414
00:18:05,375 --> 00:18:10,380
[crowd chanting] USA! USA! USA!
415
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,926
What you two should do, I'm not kidding,
416
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:16,512
is get with him later
and do some fun home invasions.
417
00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:17,846
You know what I mean?
418
00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:19,848
Bandit,
419
00:18:19,848 --> 00:18:23,185
do you feel freer in America
than you would be other places?
420
00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:26,438
{\an8}[Bandit] Of course, Tim. Of course I do.
I mean, there's... sure...
421
00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:28,607
{\an8}Okay, you have a few options, right?
422
00:18:28,607 --> 00:18:30,651
{\an8}Mainly, at least for me,
Britain and Canada.
423
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:33,362
I don't wanna go to Canada
because they're not real.
424
00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:35,197
That's mooses pretending to be people.
425
00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:37,866
Well, you're a person
pretending to be a dog.
426
00:18:37,866 --> 00:18:40,661
This is true.
I would get along great with them.
427
00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:42,579
Now, Sergio, just look at Bandit
428
00:18:42,579 --> 00:18:45,249
and tell him what could be
possibly wrong with this country?
429
00:18:45,249 --> 00:18:46,708
[Bandit] What's wrong with America?
430
00:18:46,708 --> 00:18:50,838
Look at this person,
who I will not gender.
431
00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:53,298
Look at this person, Sergio.
432
00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:55,968
What could possibly be wrong
433
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,928
with this country?
434
00:19:00,013 --> 00:19:02,391
Look, if you want
to look for an apartment,
435
00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:04,852
you have to pay the first, the last,
436
00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:07,604
plus deposit.
437
00:19:07,604 --> 00:19:11,358
Six hundred eighty score
to get the apartment.
438
00:19:11,358 --> 00:19:12,776
- You have that?
- That is true.
439
00:19:12,776 --> 00:19:17,406
He's bringing up a good point about
the apartment rental process, Bandit.
440
00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:19,491
Which I don't think you have been in.
441
00:19:20,450 --> 00:19:22,035
Uh, just a hunch.
442
00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:25,038
[Bandit] That's America, baby.
Money flows, dude.
443
00:19:25,038 --> 00:19:27,291
If you ain't ready to pay
to have an apartment, why...
444
00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:28,333
Don't go to one!
445
00:19:28,333 --> 00:19:30,836
Luis, you seem very uncomfortable.
446
00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:31,920
[crowd laughing]
447
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:34,631
[Tim] You seem
incredibly uncomfortable right now.
448
00:19:34,631 --> 00:19:37,467
Take a look at this. This is... There it is.
449
00:19:38,802 --> 00:19:39,845
Sergio, yes.
450
00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:42,806
I think he makes more money
standing at a corner with a sign.
451
00:19:42,806 --> 00:19:43,765
Moving it.
452
00:19:43,765 --> 00:19:44,725
[laughing]
453
00:19:44,725 --> 00:19:46,435
That's not a bad point.
454
00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:49,605
Bandit, make your last plea to Sergio.
455
00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:51,690
You're the one we brought on this stage
456
00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:54,651
because you exemplify
what America is in its current moment.
457
00:19:57,070 --> 00:19:57,905
{\an8}[Bandit] Sergio,
458
00:19:58,614 --> 00:19:59,448
{\an8}I beg you.
459
00:20:00,407 --> 00:20:02,826
{\an8}Stay here. We can go to Target together.
460
00:20:02,826 --> 00:20:06,330
We can go get a Java Chip Frappé,
we can walk through the park,
461
00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:07,998
have a wonderful time.
462
00:20:08,749 --> 00:20:09,917
Maybe fall in love.
463
00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:10,918
I don't know.
464
00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:12,878
It's the land of opportunity.
465
00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:15,005
I would love for you to stay here with us
466
00:20:15,005 --> 00:20:18,342
and be a part of this
great, beautiful nation.
467
00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:20,761
Give it up for Bandit, everyone,
that's a great...
468
00:20:20,761 --> 00:20:22,846
[crowd applauding]
469
00:20:25,849 --> 00:20:27,809
Sergio, are you gonna stay,
470
00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:30,145
or are you gonna go? What is it?
471
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:32,356
Uh...
472
00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:35,108
There is, uh, nothing that make me stay.
473
00:20:35,108 --> 00:20:36,026
I'm leaving.
474
00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:38,195
And I'm leaving America.
475
00:20:38,779 --> 00:20:40,322
The American Dream, it's over.
476
00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:41,240
[crowd booing]
477
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,784
I'm telling you, I'm out of here.
I'm out of here, you know?
478
00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:45,535
- [crowd chanting] Adios! Adios!
- That's...
479
00:20:45,535 --> 00:20:47,955
That's the way he feels.
Give it up for Sergio,
480
00:20:47,955 --> 00:20:48,872
[crowd cheering]
481
00:20:48,872 --> 00:20:52,251
[Tim] Luis, Bandit, everybody.
Thank them so much.
482
00:20:52,751 --> 00:20:54,461
Give it up for them.
483
00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:57,547
Give it up. Thank you, guys.
484
00:21:00,384 --> 00:21:03,512
It'd be hilarious if you remove
the dog head and it was RFK.
485
00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:07,891
[imitating Kennedy] "I'm going to
dress up like a dog on Netflix
486
00:21:07,891 --> 00:21:11,478
because I want to be
the President of the United States."
487
00:21:11,478 --> 00:21:12,938
[crowd laughing]
488
00:21:13,855 --> 00:21:17,401
Up now, she's a body-positive
feel-good fun type.
489
00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:19,987
Her mom is an overbearing almond witch
490
00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:22,864
that wants to control
what goes in her body.
491
00:21:22,864 --> 00:21:25,409
Ladies and gentlemen, let's meet Livi.
492
00:21:25,409 --> 00:21:28,287
- [crowd cheering]
- [funky synth music playing]
493
00:21:36,712 --> 00:21:38,130
Livi, baby.
494
00:21:38,714 --> 00:21:41,925
How are you?
Thank you for coming, Livi. How are you?
495
00:21:41,925 --> 00:21:44,052
- I'm good. How are you?
- I'm doing good.
496
00:21:44,052 --> 00:21:47,097
- So your mom gets on your nerves.
- Yes.
497
00:21:47,097 --> 00:21:48,348
What is the problem?
498
00:21:48,348 --> 00:21:50,934
{\an8}She comments on every single thing I eat,
499
00:21:50,934 --> 00:21:54,730
{\an8}she comments on me working out,
anything I put into my body, my coffee.
500
00:21:54,730 --> 00:21:56,440
What do you do to your coffee?
501
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:59,693
Okay, I put syrups in my coff...
I do an iced vanilla latte.
502
00:21:59,693 --> 00:22:00,944
There's nothing wrong...
503
00:22:00,944 --> 00:22:03,071
What kind of syrups
do you put in your coffee?
504
00:22:03,071 --> 00:22:04,281
Like, just vanilla.
505
00:22:04,281 --> 00:22:06,408
Just vanilla? How much? How many pumps?
506
00:22:06,408 --> 00:22:08,285
- Like, four pumps.
- [Tim] We pump it up?
507
00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:10,620
- [Livi] We pump it up! Yes!
- Do we pump it up?
508
00:22:10,620 --> 00:22:12,039
- She pumps it up.
- Yes!
509
00:22:12,039 --> 00:22:14,249
Four pumps. Pump it up.
510
00:22:14,249 --> 00:22:17,502
And not half pumps. You make them
at Starbucks, slam on that bitch.
511
00:22:17,502 --> 00:22:20,088
{\an8}- Full pumps. Yes. Fuck yeah.
- Slam it. Full pumps. Okay.
512
00:22:20,088 --> 00:22:22,632
{\an8}So now, your mother,
what does she do for a living?
513
00:22:22,632 --> 00:22:25,260
- She's a Pilates instructor.
- She's a Pilates instructor.
514
00:22:25,260 --> 00:22:27,012
- [Livi] Yes. Yes, she is.
- [crowd] Ooh.
515
00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:28,347
- [Livi] Yes.
- [Tim] And she...
516
00:22:28,889 --> 00:22:31,224
- [Livi] Yeah.
- And she is on your case.
517
00:22:31,224 --> 00:22:34,186
And do you stand up for yourself
and your rights as an American?
518
00:22:34,186 --> 00:22:35,687
You know what? I try my best.
519
00:22:35,687 --> 00:22:37,856
I do tell her to, like, fuck off.
"Mom, fuck off."
520
00:22:37,856 --> 00:22:40,525
"I'm going to do what I want to do.
I'm an adult."
521
00:22:40,525 --> 00:22:43,028
Can she hear you
over the drive-thru speaker?
522
00:22:43,028 --> 00:22:45,989
- No, no... No. She can't.
- [Tim] That's the problem.
523
00:22:45,989 --> 00:22:49,159
I have OCD, I have anxie...
I'm a normal girl, I have anxiety.
524
00:22:49,159 --> 00:22:51,578
And she's like, "It's all
the fucking Starbucks you drink."
525
00:22:51,578 --> 00:22:54,122
"That's what's giving you anxiety.
The vanilla syrup."
526
00:22:54,122 --> 00:22:56,917
Now, what does...
how does OCD manifest in your life?
527
00:22:56,917 --> 00:22:59,127
- Um, I like to touch things.
- Okay.
528
00:22:59,127 --> 00:23:00,295
And, like, three times.
529
00:23:00,295 --> 00:23:02,172
- You touch something three times?
- Yeah.
530
00:23:02,172 --> 00:23:03,215
And then eat it?
531
00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:05,634
- No, I don't eat it. No!
- [crowd laughing]
532
00:23:05,634 --> 00:23:08,720
My mom told you to say that.
My mom told you to say that.
533
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:11,098
You love your mother,
but you want her to butt out.
534
00:23:11,098 --> 00:23:13,475
I want her to butt out.
Get the fuck out of my fridge.
535
00:23:13,475 --> 00:23:15,227
Get the fuck out of your fridge.
536
00:23:15,227 --> 00:23:17,521
Because... Because there's no room.
537
00:23:17,521 --> 00:23:18,563
- Now...
- [Livi] No.
538
00:23:18,563 --> 00:23:19,481
[crowd laughing]
539
00:23:19,481 --> 00:23:23,318
Let's... Ladies and gentlemen, are you
ready to meet Livi's mom, everybody?
540
00:23:23,318 --> 00:23:24,277
[cheering]
541
00:23:24,277 --> 00:23:25,487
[chanting] Bring her out!
542
00:23:25,487 --> 00:23:26,863
[Tim] Ladies and gentlemen,
543
00:23:26,863 --> 00:23:31,034
please welcome Dena!
544
00:23:31,034 --> 00:23:32,160
[cheering]
545
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:33,578
There she is.
546
00:23:34,121 --> 00:23:36,248
- They love you. They love you.
- [Tim] Dena!
547
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:39,126
Dena, Dena, Dena, how are you?
548
00:23:39,126 --> 00:23:41,128
- I'm good.
- [Tim] Welcome to the show.
549
00:23:41,128 --> 00:23:44,214
So you're...
Basically, you're asking your daughter,
550
00:23:44,214 --> 00:23:46,466
"I just want you
to make healthier decisions."
551
00:23:46,466 --> 00:23:48,969
- Absolutely.
- What the fuck is wrong with you?
552
00:23:48,969 --> 00:23:49,928
[crowd laughing]
553
00:23:49,928 --> 00:23:52,222
{\an8}I don't think she's old enough
to make decisions.
554
00:23:52,222 --> 00:23:53,515
{\an8}- Okay, what?
- Okay.
555
00:23:53,515 --> 00:23:55,058
{\an8}- [crowd booing]
- Wait, wait, wait.
556
00:23:55,058 --> 00:23:57,727
- Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
- [Dena] Wait.
557
00:23:57,727 --> 00:24:00,313
If I wanna eat a fucking donut,
I wanna eat a fucking donut,
558
00:24:00,313 --> 00:24:01,857
you don't need to tell me what to do.
559
00:24:01,857 --> 00:24:03,275
I'm 25.
560
00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:06,236
Since I was a child, I don't know
any life that's not like this.
561
00:24:06,236 --> 00:24:08,905
- Oh, that's--
- Oh, shut the fuck up. You know. Yeah.
562
00:24:08,905 --> 00:24:10,031
[crowd] Oh!
563
00:24:10,031 --> 00:24:11,241
[jeering]
564
00:24:11,908 --> 00:24:14,077
- No, it's so true.
- [Tim] Ladies.
565
00:24:14,661 --> 00:24:17,747
No, imagine being five
and she's yelling at you about Oreos.
566
00:24:17,747 --> 00:24:20,542
- Imagine being five and that happened.
- We didn't have them.
567
00:24:20,542 --> 00:24:22,878
Well, you didn't...
You... You... You didn't have Oreos?
568
00:24:22,878 --> 00:24:24,546
- No.
- Well, she found them.
569
00:24:24,546 --> 00:24:26,298
- [Livi] No, I did.
- [crowd laughing]
570
00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:28,049
- [Tim] She found them.
- Yeah.
571
00:24:28,049 --> 00:24:30,427
You have a list of foods
you don't want her to eat?
572
00:24:30,427 --> 00:24:33,263
- [Dena] I do.
- Take it out. Take the list out, Dena.
573
00:24:33,263 --> 00:24:36,933
Take the list out.
Take the list out right now.
574
00:24:36,933 --> 00:24:38,435
[laughing] No.
575
00:24:38,435 --> 00:24:42,481
First one, coffee with syrups
is horrible for your body.
576
00:24:42,481 --> 00:24:44,566
Only... Only...
577
00:24:44,566 --> 00:24:46,860
- No, there is no way. No way.
- There we go.
578
00:24:46,860 --> 00:24:49,279
Only according to doctors.
579
00:24:49,279 --> 00:24:50,322
[laughing]
580
00:24:50,322 --> 00:24:53,992
But here's Livi's point,
"Life's short, pump it up."
581
00:24:53,992 --> 00:24:55,911
- Exactly. That's what I said.
- [Tim] Oh!
582
00:24:55,911 --> 00:24:57,412
- [crowd cheering]
- No.
583
00:24:57,412 --> 00:25:01,082
Life's short and with those pumps,
even shorter, but here's the point...
584
00:25:01,791 --> 00:25:04,419
You can have one coffee a day,
not two or three.
585
00:25:04,419 --> 00:25:06,588
- No syrups.
- One coffee a day with no syrup.
586
00:25:07,088 --> 00:25:08,632
Okay, Hitler.
587
00:25:08,632 --> 00:25:10,258
- Go on.
- Literally.
588
00:25:10,258 --> 00:25:11,593
- [laughing]
- [Tim] Go on.
589
00:25:12,302 --> 00:25:15,138
I would like her
to give up everything white.
590
00:25:15,138 --> 00:25:17,849
- [crowd booing]
- [Tim] Wait a minute, hold on.
591
00:25:17,849 --> 00:25:21,895
{\an8}Sugar, flour, pasta, bread, rice, cheese.
592
00:25:21,895 --> 00:25:23,313
{\an8}- [Tim] Okay.
- [Dena] Dairy.
593
00:25:23,313 --> 00:25:25,398
[booing continues]
594
00:25:25,398 --> 00:25:28,944
[Tim] What would be a happy medium?
She's not gonna give up everything white.
595
00:25:28,944 --> 00:25:31,947
Can you propose something
slightly realistic here?
596
00:25:31,947 --> 00:25:34,199
She should be able
to give up white for two weeks.
597
00:25:34,199 --> 00:25:36,117
- White for two weeks.
- [Dena] Yeah.
598
00:25:36,117 --> 00:25:38,203
You know what's
gonna happen after two weeks?
599
00:25:38,203 --> 00:25:39,871
She's gonna have a white party.
600
00:25:41,831 --> 00:25:43,166
She's gonna go crazy.
601
00:25:43,166 --> 00:25:44,543
Do you think
602
00:25:45,210 --> 00:25:50,215
it's wrong to try to micromanage
your adult daughter's diet?
603
00:25:51,258 --> 00:25:52,175
[crowd] Yes!
604
00:25:52,175 --> 00:25:55,887
No. No. Not if
I'm worried about her well-being.
605
00:25:55,887 --> 00:25:59,182
But are you worried about
her well-being or your well-being?
606
00:25:59,182 --> 00:26:00,308
[crowd applauding]
607
00:26:00,308 --> 00:26:02,602
- Exactly.
- [Tim] Oh, Dena!
608
00:26:02,602 --> 00:26:04,229
[Livi] 'Cause she's projecting.
609
00:26:04,229 --> 00:26:06,273
It's not like she is going to your house
610
00:26:06,273 --> 00:26:09,025
and forcing you
to put vanilla in your coffee.
611
00:26:09,025 --> 00:26:11,319
- I've never done it. Never done that.
- [Tim] Right?
612
00:26:11,319 --> 00:26:12,862
Does she show up and try to
613
00:26:13,488 --> 00:26:15,323
face-fuck you with sourdough bread?
614
00:26:15,323 --> 00:26:16,491
[laughing]
615
00:26:16,491 --> 00:26:18,451
- [Tim] No.
- Never done that.
616
00:26:18,451 --> 00:26:22,038
She's not doing that 'cause she's not
sharing her food. Now listen to me...
617
00:26:22,831 --> 00:26:25,417
There's nothing... Dena, let's trim the fat.
618
00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:28,753
What do you really want your daughter to...
619
00:26:28,753 --> 00:26:29,879
[laughing]
620
00:26:29,879 --> 00:26:32,674
- It's not that funny. It's not that funny.
- [Tim] Stand up here.
621
00:26:33,300 --> 00:26:34,759
- Stand up.
- All right.
622
00:26:35,427 --> 00:26:36,720
You need an almond mom.
623
00:26:37,470 --> 00:26:39,180
- I do.
- Me and you... Let's be honest.
624
00:26:39,180 --> 00:26:42,350
Me and you need Dena,
we need Dena to follow us around.
625
00:26:42,350 --> 00:26:44,269
- Do you have a mother?
- I do.
626
00:26:44,269 --> 00:26:47,105
- Does she butt into your life?
- She does.
627
00:26:47,105 --> 00:26:48,857
I wish she'd fuck off. Yeah.
628
00:26:48,857 --> 00:26:50,275
[crowd laughing]
629
00:26:50,984 --> 00:26:52,611
[crowd applauding]
630
00:26:52,611 --> 00:26:53,862
Dena, let's be honest.
631
00:26:53,862 --> 00:26:55,488
You heard it there,
632
00:26:55,488 --> 00:26:57,240
he wants you to fuck off.
633
00:26:57,240 --> 00:27:00,327
Sir, now, what do you think about this?
Do you have children?
634
00:27:00,327 --> 00:27:01,661
Uh, not yet.
635
00:27:01,661 --> 00:27:03,413
All right, sit down. You know, I, uh...
636
00:27:03,413 --> 00:27:04,414
[laughing]
637
00:27:04,414 --> 00:27:05,999
[Tim] Nobody gives a shit.
638
00:27:05,999 --> 00:27:07,876
Can you stand up? Stand up.
639
00:27:07,876 --> 00:27:10,295
Now, this man shot President Trump.
640
00:27:11,838 --> 00:27:15,884
So I want to ask you,
what do you think about these people?
641
00:27:17,260 --> 00:27:19,262
- I did not shoot Trump.
- Okay.
642
00:27:19,262 --> 00:27:21,139
- [laughing]
- [man 2] What do I think about 'em?
643
00:27:21,139 --> 00:27:23,350
Do you have any opinion?
You're a young man, white,
644
00:27:23,350 --> 00:27:24,351
what do you think?
645
00:27:24,351 --> 00:27:27,312
Uh, I don't know, I think
talking shit about your mom is crazy.
646
00:27:27,312 --> 00:27:29,105
- [crowd agreeing]
- I...
647
00:27:29,105 --> 00:27:30,106
[man in crowd] Yeah!
648
00:27:31,024 --> 00:27:32,067
Dena.
649
00:27:32,817 --> 00:27:34,361
Do you think it's possible
650
00:27:35,153 --> 00:27:37,530
that for the sake
of your daughter's health,
651
00:27:38,239 --> 00:27:40,617
that you could ease up a little bit?
652
00:27:40,617 --> 00:27:42,243
- I will try.
- [Tim] "I will try."
653
00:27:42,243 --> 00:27:45,038
Well, we have some good news, Dena.
654
00:27:45,038 --> 00:27:46,831
You're about to have your first test.
655
00:27:47,415 --> 00:27:50,794
Me and your daughter
are feeling slightly frisky.
656
00:27:50,794 --> 00:27:53,880
And we would like to have a little snack.
657
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:56,049
- It's a healthy snack.
- Okay.
658
00:27:56,049 --> 00:27:58,301
It's from an organic, healthy...
659
00:27:59,344 --> 00:28:00,720
place. Okay?
660
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:02,514
- Let's see if you can do it.
- Okay.
661
00:28:03,181 --> 00:28:04,599
Please bring out the healthy snack.
662
00:28:04,599 --> 00:28:06,685
[crowd cheering]
663
00:28:11,231 --> 00:28:13,983
- [Dena] Just not the cherries.
- [Livi] No, you gotta eat the cherries.
664
00:28:13,983 --> 00:28:16,736
- The cherries are bad for you.
- Now, listen... Listen to me.
665
00:28:17,570 --> 00:28:20,365
- She's pissed.
- Do you feel triggered right now?
666
00:28:20,365 --> 00:28:22,158
[laughing]
667
00:28:22,158 --> 00:28:23,159
[Tim] Now...
668
00:28:25,662 --> 00:28:28,331
- I want you to try. Dena, get in here.
- Okay.
669
00:28:28,331 --> 00:28:30,583
[Tim] Get in here a little bit.
Give it a shot.
670
00:28:30,583 --> 00:28:32,669
- Give it a shot, Dena.
- Don't want the strawberry.
671
00:28:32,669 --> 00:28:34,295
Is this mint or pistachio?
672
00:28:34,295 --> 00:28:35,422
Who the fuck knows?
673
00:28:35,422 --> 00:28:37,507
[crowd laughing]
674
00:28:38,591 --> 00:28:40,719
- Mmm.
- This is mint. This is mint.
675
00:28:40,719 --> 00:28:42,846
- Give it up. Have a little bit!
- This is mint.
676
00:28:42,846 --> 00:28:45,807
- Come on, Mom! Get in there!
- Come on! It's good.
677
00:28:45,807 --> 00:28:47,767
- Go, Mom.
- [Tim yelling] Come on!
678
00:28:47,767 --> 00:28:49,227
[crowd cheering]
679
00:28:49,227 --> 00:28:52,230
- Eat the cherry! Get it. Eat the cherry!
- Dena! Dena! Dena!
680
00:28:52,230 --> 00:28:53,982
[chanting] Dena! Dena!
681
00:28:53,982 --> 00:28:56,651
- [Livi] Eat the cherry!
- Guys, give it up for Livi and Dena!
682
00:28:56,651 --> 00:28:58,570
Give it up for them, everybody!
683
00:28:58,570 --> 00:28:59,654
[crowd cheering]
684
00:28:59,654 --> 00:29:03,950
Thank you so much.
That's $10,000 of Netflix's money. That's...
685
00:29:04,451 --> 00:29:07,036
This was the last season
of House of Cards they didn't make.
686
00:29:07,036 --> 00:29:07,996
[laughing]
687
00:29:07,996 --> 00:29:09,164
I appreciate that.
688
00:29:09,164 --> 00:29:11,916
A round of applause again
for Dena and Livi, everybody.
689
00:29:11,916 --> 00:29:13,710
[crowd cheering]
690
00:29:13,710 --> 00:29:15,253
That goes right to the homeless.
691
00:29:15,253 --> 00:29:18,214
Take that outside
to the homeless encampment right now.
692
00:29:19,799 --> 00:29:21,634
I'm still trying to process this row.
693
00:29:21,634 --> 00:29:25,013
This row is a wild row, I like this row.
694
00:29:25,013 --> 00:29:26,639
This is a wild row.
695
00:29:26,639 --> 00:29:29,976
This white guy is so scared
in the middle of this row right now,
696
00:29:29,976 --> 00:29:32,187
he has no idea what happened.
697
00:29:32,187 --> 00:29:34,731
You just landed in the middle
of a Kamala Harris rally.
698
00:29:34,731 --> 00:29:36,983
You have no idea what's going on.
699
00:29:36,983 --> 00:29:39,819
This white guy is terrified,
700
00:29:39,819 --> 00:29:42,739
but he's also aroused,
and that's what it's about.
701
00:29:42,739 --> 00:29:44,491
That's America right now.
702
00:29:45,074 --> 00:29:48,244
Are we ready to meet some new, fun people?
703
00:29:48,244 --> 00:29:50,830
[crowd whooping, cheering]
704
00:29:51,623 --> 00:29:55,752
He said she's turned her back on God
and sold her soul to OnlyFans.
705
00:29:55,752 --> 00:29:57,212
But what he really wants
706
00:29:57,212 --> 00:30:00,173
is her to collaborate
on YouTube with him again.
707
00:30:00,173 --> 00:30:03,218
Welcome to Gen Z hell.
Everybody, welcome Christian.
708
00:30:03,218 --> 00:30:05,720
- [upbeat synth music playing]
- [crowd cheering]
709
00:30:06,221 --> 00:30:09,098
[Tim] Christian, come out.
Thank you. Sit down.
710
00:30:09,808 --> 00:30:11,810
- Christian, take a seat.
- Thank you.
711
00:30:11,810 --> 00:30:14,229
- Thank you. Hello.
- Take a seat, Christian.
712
00:30:14,229 --> 00:30:18,942
Now, you used to collaborate a lot
with your cousin Bela.
713
00:30:18,942 --> 00:30:20,401
{\an8}- Yes, I did.
- On YouTube.
714
00:30:20,401 --> 00:30:22,695
{\an8}Yes. She was like my best friend,
we grew up together.
715
00:30:22,695 --> 00:30:24,948
{\an8}I've known her since,
you know, I was a baby.
716
00:30:24,948 --> 00:30:26,991
[Tim] You've known her
since you were a baby?
717
00:30:26,991 --> 00:30:29,577
- She's on YouTube.
- Yes.
718
00:30:29,577 --> 00:30:32,038
Disrespecting men. What is that?
Can you define that?
719
00:30:32,038 --> 00:30:36,251
So, she'll post a video and be like,
you know, "Hey," you know, "cuss word,"
720
00:30:36,251 --> 00:30:38,670
um, "give me some money," you know.
721
00:30:39,170 --> 00:30:41,297
Like, disrespects them and asks for money,
722
00:30:41,297 --> 00:30:43,007
and then they'll actually send it,
723
00:30:43,007 --> 00:30:45,802
kind of like a gold digger,
but, you know, online.
724
00:30:46,344 --> 00:30:49,389
So you don't think
that's a good use of her time?
725
00:30:49,389 --> 00:30:50,932
Um... [sighs]
726
00:30:50,932 --> 00:30:53,268
Honestly, I think
she should do what we used to do.
727
00:30:53,268 --> 00:30:55,895
- Like, different types of content.
- What did you used to do?
728
00:30:55,895 --> 00:30:59,732
We used to do just normal
challenge videos, you know, a basic...
729
00:30:59,732 --> 00:31:01,985
[crowd booing]
730
00:31:01,985 --> 00:31:03,194
[Tim] Christian.
731
00:31:03,945 --> 00:31:08,157
Nobody wants you and your cousin
doing fucking challenge videos.
732
00:31:08,157 --> 00:31:09,450
Okay, my bad, my bad.
733
00:31:09,450 --> 00:31:12,996
They would rather her doing findom
or whatever she's doing on YouTube.
734
00:31:12,996 --> 00:31:14,455
- That's right.
- [Christian] My bad.
735
00:31:14,455 --> 00:31:15,665
- My bad.
- [crowd cheering]
736
00:31:15,665 --> 00:31:17,959
Should we bring her out?
Should we meet her, everybody?
737
00:31:17,959 --> 00:31:19,252
[cheering loudly]
738
00:31:19,252 --> 00:31:20,378
[Tim] Should we meet her?
739
00:31:20,378 --> 00:31:25,675
[crowd chanting] Bring her out!
Bring her out! Bring her out!
740
00:31:25,675 --> 00:31:29,470
Let's bring out Bela, everybody.
741
00:31:29,470 --> 00:31:32,390
[crowd cheering, whooping]
742
00:31:35,643 --> 00:31:36,644
Hi.
743
00:31:36,644 --> 00:31:40,023
He says only God, she says OnlyFans.
744
00:31:40,023 --> 00:31:43,610
Now, Bela, what is the beef?
745
00:31:43,610 --> 00:31:45,320
What is his problem?
746
00:31:46,237 --> 00:31:49,282
{\an8}He has a different perspective
on how I make my money because, you know,
747
00:31:49,282 --> 00:31:51,159
{\an8}his parents still pay his bills.
748
00:31:51,159 --> 00:31:52,243
[Tim] Whoa!
749
00:31:52,243 --> 00:31:53,828
{\an8}- What? Wait.
- [crowd jeering]
750
00:31:53,828 --> 00:31:56,205
- Whoa, Christian.
- [Christian] Wait.
751
00:31:56,205 --> 00:31:57,415
[chuckles]
752
00:31:57,415 --> 00:31:59,500
Mommy and Daddy don't pay my bills, so...
753
00:31:59,500 --> 00:32:01,878
That's right. Men on the Internet do.
754
00:32:01,878 --> 00:32:02,795
Now...
755
00:32:02,795 --> 00:32:04,255
[scattered laughter]
756
00:32:04,255 --> 00:32:07,967
What do you do to,
uh, get these men to pay?
757
00:32:07,967 --> 00:32:09,093
Bully them.
758
00:32:09,093 --> 00:32:11,763
My mom's literally subscribed
to my OnlyFans to keep me accountable.
759
00:32:11,763 --> 00:32:13,139
I don't post anything inappropriate.
760
00:32:13,139 --> 00:32:16,976
Your mom is subscribed
to your OnlyFans to keep you accountable?
761
00:32:16,976 --> 00:32:17,894
[Bela] Yeah.
762
00:32:17,894 --> 00:32:20,480
{\an8}That should have been
the title of the segment. Now...
763
00:32:21,522 --> 00:32:22,941
{\an8}[laughing]
764
00:32:22,941 --> 00:32:23,900
{\an8}Now, Christian,
765
00:32:23,900 --> 00:32:27,862
why is it your business if your cousin
wants to pop her P for cash?
766
00:32:28,488 --> 00:32:29,530
{\an8}Um...
767
00:32:30,531 --> 00:32:33,117
{\an8}Uh, you know, I care about her
and I look out for her,
768
00:32:33,117 --> 00:32:36,329
{\an8}I love her, she's, like, my best friend,
like, I want to be involved.
769
00:32:36,329 --> 00:32:39,165
{\an8}- I want the best for her.
- If you love her, pay her.
770
00:32:39,165 --> 00:32:40,124
{\an8}[crowd cheering]
771
00:32:40,124 --> 00:32:42,043
{\an8}- Thank you.
- All right, fine. Fine!
772
00:32:42,043 --> 00:32:45,546
I don't do anything inappropriate,
I don't talk dirty, I don't sell my body.
773
00:32:45,546 --> 00:32:46,673
I literally bully them.
774
00:32:46,673 --> 00:32:48,716
- They just like to be degraded.
- Mm...
775
00:32:48,716 --> 00:32:50,885
How long do you plan
on making money like this?
776
00:32:50,885 --> 00:32:54,222
I make 20K a month off these guys,
so until that goes away...
777
00:32:54,222 --> 00:32:55,181
Whoa.
778
00:32:55,181 --> 00:32:56,516
- [Christian] What?
- [Tim] Wow.
779
00:32:57,016 --> 00:32:58,518
Now, get up for a minute. Get up.
780
00:32:58,518 --> 00:33:00,728
Let's be honest, both of you.
781
00:33:00,728 --> 00:33:02,355
Now, you're a subscriber.
782
00:33:02,355 --> 00:33:03,731
- Is it...
- [Christian] Wait, what?
783
00:33:03,731 --> 00:33:06,067
Is it weird to see her in real life?
784
00:33:07,026 --> 00:33:07,986
[chuckles]
785
00:33:08,528 --> 00:33:11,406
- No.
- Yeah, now, what do you think about this?
786
00:33:11,406 --> 00:33:13,491
Who do you think is right here? The...
787
00:33:13,491 --> 00:33:16,536
You know, I don't even know which,
but, you know, what's going on?
788
00:33:16,536 --> 00:33:19,998
- 20K a month is good. I'd... I'd say her.
- [Bela] Thank you.
789
00:33:19,998 --> 00:33:21,582
Okay, what do you think about this?
790
00:33:21,582 --> 00:33:22,709
Her too.
791
00:33:22,709 --> 00:33:24,711
- Okay. Thank you.
- Right.
792
00:33:24,711 --> 00:33:25,753
Thank you.
793
00:33:25,753 --> 00:33:27,964
It's the Charlottesville Riot.
Thank you, guys,
794
00:33:28,923 --> 00:33:30,466
for coming here.
795
00:33:30,466 --> 00:33:32,927
This is such a weird
Gen Z fucking problem.
796
00:33:33,594 --> 00:33:35,430
- Know what I mean? I get it.
- This is normal!
797
00:33:35,430 --> 00:33:37,223
You don't want her to do fucking OnlyFans,
798
00:33:37,223 --> 00:33:40,935
but you want her to waste time with you,
do YouTube, that's the worst argument.
799
00:33:40,935 --> 00:33:43,396
- Thank you.
- [Tim] You know what I mean?
800
00:33:43,396 --> 00:33:45,273
You're not offering her
a better alternative.
801
00:33:45,273 --> 00:33:47,984
Okay. Um, we could
play Minecraft, Fortnite...
802
00:33:47,984 --> 00:33:49,652
- [Tim] Oh my God.
- [crowd booing]
803
00:33:49,652 --> 00:33:52,196
- Oh my God, dude, no.
- [Christian] What?
804
00:33:52,196 --> 00:33:53,698
Boo!
805
00:33:53,698 --> 00:33:55,533
- [Tim] No Minecraft.
- Where's the money?
806
00:33:55,533 --> 00:33:57,618
Can you stand up, sir? Can you stand up?
807
00:33:57,618 --> 00:34:00,204
You got an erection
when you heard the word "Minecraft."
808
00:34:00,204 --> 00:34:01,497
[crowd laughing]
809
00:34:01,497 --> 00:34:03,041
Now, Fortnite is...
810
00:34:03,041 --> 00:34:04,333
Now, let me...
811
00:34:04,333 --> 00:34:08,212
Will you play Fortnite with this guy
so he doesn't bother this woman?
812
00:34:08,212 --> 00:34:09,547
He seems a bit boring.
813
00:34:09,547 --> 00:34:11,299
- Yeah.
- Yeah. It's crazy to ask--
814
00:34:11,299 --> 00:34:12,592
Are you a gamer?
815
00:34:12,592 --> 00:34:14,135
- Not particularly.
- Really?
816
00:34:14,135 --> 00:34:17,096
Yeah. OnlyFans is more fun
than gaming, it seems.
817
00:34:17,096 --> 00:34:19,807
Okay, all right. Would you subscribe?
818
00:34:20,349 --> 00:34:22,310
- How much is it a month?
- [Bela] I'll bully you!
819
00:34:22,310 --> 00:34:24,062
I don't want to be bullied, no.
820
00:34:24,062 --> 00:34:25,396
You don't wanna be bullied?
821
00:34:25,396 --> 00:34:27,690
He had enough
of it in high school. All right.
822
00:34:27,690 --> 00:34:29,275
[crowd applauding]
823
00:34:29,942 --> 00:34:32,779
Come here, what do you think?
Are you... Who do you... Are you...
824
00:34:32,779 --> 00:34:35,740
Will you stand up for Christian?
No one will. What do you think?
825
00:34:35,740 --> 00:34:38,159
I will stand for my family.
And them both are my family.
826
00:34:38,159 --> 00:34:41,287
- That's my cousin!
- Oh, this is your cousin? Really?
827
00:34:41,287 --> 00:34:42,580
[Bela] That's my cousin!
828
00:34:42,580 --> 00:34:45,666
- So who do you... Who do you agree with?
- [crowd booing]
829
00:34:45,666 --> 00:34:47,335
- [cousin] Listen, as family...
- Pick a side!
830
00:34:47,335 --> 00:34:51,964
As family goes, we like to stick together,
so I don't want to choose both.
831
00:34:52,757 --> 00:34:54,300
But make your money. Respectfully.
832
00:34:54,300 --> 00:34:56,344
- All right. That's fair.
- [Bela] Thank you!
833
00:34:56,344 --> 00:34:57,720
That's fair.
834
00:34:57,720 --> 00:34:59,263
- All right, that's fair.
- He gets it.
835
00:34:59,263 --> 00:35:03,226
Bela, is there anything, is there any way
that you would stop doing OnlyFans?
836
00:35:03,226 --> 00:35:04,352
No.
837
00:35:05,228 --> 00:35:08,439
All right. Give it up
for Bela and Christian, everybody.
838
00:35:08,439 --> 00:35:09,816
Clap it up for them.
839
00:35:10,691 --> 00:35:12,527
They should both go to jail.
840
00:35:14,737 --> 00:35:16,864
- [crowd booing]
- [Tim] I've never met a more...
841
00:35:16,864 --> 00:35:19,742
I've never met a more hateable person.
All right.
842
00:35:20,451 --> 00:35:22,662
I've never met a more hateable person.
All right.
843
00:35:22,662 --> 00:35:24,831
[crowd continues booing]
844
00:35:24,831 --> 00:35:27,875
I hope the homeless
attack them on the way out. I hope...
845
00:35:27,875 --> 00:35:31,963
I hope their skin is stripped off
their body, one by one. I'm kidding.
846
00:35:31,963 --> 00:35:34,090
They're cute.
What are you gonna do? I mean...
847
00:35:34,715 --> 00:35:39,679
And now, he's here to tell his wife
he lost $200,000 on NFTs,
848
00:35:39,679 --> 00:35:42,849
but don't worry,
he's still a true believer.
849
00:35:42,849 --> 00:35:45,351
Let's meet Francesco, everybody.
850
00:35:45,351 --> 00:35:48,729
- [upbeat synth music playing]
- [crowd cheering]
851
00:35:50,815 --> 00:35:52,316
[Tim] Yeah!
852
00:35:52,900 --> 00:35:54,652
- What's up?
- [Tim] Francesco.
853
00:35:56,946 --> 00:36:00,908
Francesco, you look like every friend
I had who lost money on NFTs.
854
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:03,161
[Tim laughs]
855
00:36:03,870 --> 00:36:05,121
Tell us what happened.
856
00:36:05,121 --> 00:36:09,375
{\an8}Well, the first NFT
that I invested in was a...
857
00:36:09,375 --> 00:36:11,794
{\an8}was a picture of a 3D monkey.
858
00:36:11,794 --> 00:36:14,213
- Was it the Bored Ape?
- It was a derivative of that.
859
00:36:14,213 --> 00:36:15,298
- It was a derivative?
- Yes.
860
00:36:15,298 --> 00:36:18,718
So, it wasn't the Bored Ape Yacht Club,
it was a knockoff--
861
00:36:18,718 --> 00:36:20,428
- [crowd booing]
- Hey! Hey! Hey!
862
00:36:21,262 --> 00:36:23,514
Jesus Christ. Hold on.
863
00:36:24,557 --> 00:36:26,267
This guy's out here baring his soul.
864
00:36:26,267 --> 00:36:28,477
- [laughing]
- Now, how much...
865
00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:33,733
do you go and lose with NFTs
after it's all said and done?
866
00:36:33,733 --> 00:36:38,154
{\an8}So, you know, after we were buying
and selling and, you know, doing all that,
867
00:36:38,154 --> 00:36:41,157
{\an8}I was in the hole about 200 grand,
you know, by the end of it
868
00:36:41,157 --> 00:36:42,158
[crowd] Ooh.
869
00:36:42,158 --> 00:36:44,577
Okay. And your wife does not know this?
870
00:36:44,577 --> 00:36:47,830
No, she has no clue
that I lost that much money, yeah.
871
00:36:47,830 --> 00:36:49,749
- Yeah. [chuckles]
- [crowd] Ooh.
872
00:36:49,749 --> 00:36:52,210
How do you think
she's gonna react when you tell her?
873
00:36:52,793 --> 00:36:55,379
Well, my wife actually
does have a finance background,
874
00:36:55,379 --> 00:36:58,758
and she works for
a big financial institution,
875
00:36:59,425 --> 00:37:02,178
and she's been telling me
that this is not a...
876
00:37:02,178 --> 00:37:05,056
wasn't a good idea for a long time.
You know, for sure.
877
00:37:05,056 --> 00:37:08,768
So, wait a minute.
Your wife, with the financial background,
878
00:37:08,768 --> 00:37:11,103
was telling you
that this was not a good idea?
879
00:37:11,103 --> 00:37:12,104
No.
880
00:37:12,104 --> 00:37:18,236
And you still dumped $200,000
of family money into the...
881
00:37:18,945 --> 00:37:21,155
To be fair, $200,000 was what I lost.
882
00:37:21,155 --> 00:37:23,241
I dumped a lot more than that into it.
883
00:37:23,241 --> 00:37:24,867
[Tim] Okay, all right. All right.
884
00:37:24,867 --> 00:37:27,662
To be... If we're gonna be honest,
air out our dirty laundry.
885
00:37:27,662 --> 00:37:29,038
[Tim] Okay, that's fine.
886
00:37:29,038 --> 00:37:31,082
All right, everybody, are you guys ready?
887
00:37:31,082 --> 00:37:33,167
[crowd cheering]
888
00:37:34,168 --> 00:37:35,253
[chanting] Bring her out!
889
00:37:35,253 --> 00:37:37,672
This show is all about getting honest.
890
00:37:37,672 --> 00:37:39,215
Bring her out! Bring her out!
891
00:37:39,215 --> 00:37:41,759
- That's right.
- Bring her out! Bring her out!
892
00:37:41,759 --> 00:37:47,640
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome Lindsey!
893
00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:50,351
- [crowd cheering]
- [Lindsey laughing]
894
00:37:53,312 --> 00:37:55,523
[Tim] Lindsey, welcome to the show.
895
00:37:55,523 --> 00:37:57,817
Welcome to the show.
896
00:37:57,817 --> 00:37:59,694
Lindsey, well...
897
00:37:59,694 --> 00:38:01,821
Aw... [laughing]
898
00:38:05,324 --> 00:38:09,078
Oh, Lindsey, Lindsey, Lindsey.
899
00:38:09,078 --> 00:38:10,621
Welcome to the show.
900
00:38:10,621 --> 00:38:11,872
Congratulations.
901
00:38:11,872 --> 00:38:13,249
{\an8}Thank you.
902
00:38:13,249 --> 00:38:15,084
{\an8}How many months are you?
903
00:38:15,084 --> 00:38:16,335
{\an8}Eight months.
904
00:38:16,335 --> 00:38:17,295
Wow.
905
00:38:18,004 --> 00:38:21,257
Give her a round of applause, everybody.
Congratulations.
906
00:38:21,257 --> 00:38:23,801
[cheering]
907
00:38:23,801 --> 00:38:25,803
[Tim] Congratulations.
908
00:38:25,803 --> 00:38:28,889
And you're aware that your husband
got into crypto and NFTs.
909
00:38:28,889 --> 00:38:31,100
What'd you think about that at the time?
910
00:38:31,100 --> 00:38:33,894
You know, I... I feel it's kind of bullshit.
911
00:38:34,478 --> 00:38:36,605
- Um, it's...
- [crowd cheering]
912
00:38:36,605 --> 00:38:37,940
[Lindsey laughing]
913
00:38:37,940 --> 00:38:41,110
Your husband brought you here
because he wants to confess something.
914
00:38:41,110 --> 00:38:42,320
- Oh God.
- To you.
915
00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:45,031
- Okay.
- And we're gonna let him take it away.
916
00:38:46,240 --> 00:38:47,575
Um... Yeah, so...
917
00:38:47,575 --> 00:38:50,161
[crowd laughing, jeering]
918
00:38:53,331 --> 00:38:56,959
{\an8}You know, so, you know, we're having,
you know, another child, you know.
919
00:38:56,959 --> 00:38:57,918
{\an8}- Yeah.
- And, uh...
920
00:38:57,918 --> 00:39:00,629
{\an8}I wanted to make sure that,
you know, we came clean about everything
921
00:39:00,629 --> 00:39:02,923
- in our financial situation.
- Uh-huh.
922
00:39:02,923 --> 00:39:04,050
Our financial...
923
00:39:04,842 --> 00:39:07,595
Uh, you know, the story
of our financials, you know...
924
00:39:07,595 --> 00:39:08,721
[exhales sharply]
925
00:39:08,721 --> 00:39:10,973
- You sound like Joe Biden.
- Yeah.
926
00:39:10,973 --> 00:39:12,600
[laughing]
927
00:39:15,353 --> 00:39:18,189
- I, you know... Yeah, I got out. Yeah.
- [woman] Spit it out already!
928
00:39:18,189 --> 00:39:20,107
[crowd jeering]
929
00:39:20,733 --> 00:39:21,567
So...
930
00:39:21,567 --> 00:39:26,572
[crowd chanting] Spit it out! Spit it out!
Spit it out! Spit it out! Spit it out!
931
00:39:26,572 --> 00:39:28,574
Spit it out! Spit it out!
932
00:39:28,574 --> 00:39:31,327
- [chanting fades]
- So, you know, to come clean, um...
933
00:39:31,327 --> 00:39:35,831
I did lose, uh, you know,
around $200,000 of our money in that.
934
00:39:35,831 --> 00:39:36,749
What?
935
00:39:36,749 --> 00:39:38,834
[crowd] Ooh!
936
00:39:39,460 --> 00:39:42,797
I did lose about...
about that amount. However...
937
00:39:42,797 --> 00:39:44,757
- However...
- Wait. Wait a minute.
938
00:39:44,757 --> 00:39:48,427
You know, there are new opportunities.
You know, there are new coins.
939
00:39:48,427 --> 00:39:49,887
[crowd laughing]
940
00:39:49,887 --> 00:39:52,223
So it... it... it...
941
00:39:52,223 --> 00:39:55,142
So there's these new coins
called shitcoins now.
942
00:39:55,142 --> 00:39:56,435
- Babe.
- And...
943
00:39:56,435 --> 00:39:58,437
[Tim] Hold on. Hold on. Let's...
944
00:39:58,437 --> 00:40:01,357
Let's give your wife Lindsey a minute
945
00:40:01,941 --> 00:40:04,568
to just deal with what you just said
946
00:40:04,568 --> 00:40:06,445
before you start pitching her
947
00:40:07,863 --> 00:40:10,157
on shitcoins, you psychopath.
948
00:40:11,075 --> 00:40:13,577
I mean, Jesus Christ.
949
00:40:13,577 --> 00:40:14,954
I mean...
950
00:40:15,454 --> 00:40:16,414
[Lindsey] Hold on.
951
00:40:16,414 --> 00:40:18,666
Two hundred thousand dollars?
952
00:40:18,666 --> 00:40:20,918
- Yep.
- Are you insane?
953
00:40:23,587 --> 00:40:25,631
- Are you insane?
- [sighing]
954
00:40:25,631 --> 00:40:27,842
Two hundred thousand dollars?
955
00:40:27,842 --> 00:40:31,178
Only when what you do... You know,
when people say what you do is crazy,
956
00:40:31,178 --> 00:40:35,015
only then are you doing enough.
That's what I live by, that's my...
957
00:40:35,015 --> 00:40:36,642
- [Lindsey] Babe.
- That's my, like...
958
00:40:36,642 --> 00:40:37,643
[crowd booing]
959
00:40:37,643 --> 00:40:39,937
Two hundred thousand dollars?
960
00:40:39,937 --> 00:40:42,565
Wait a minute,
what Gary Vaynerchuk quote is that?
961
00:40:43,732 --> 00:40:44,900
Come here for a second.
962
00:40:44,900 --> 00:40:48,195
If this guy...
If anyone will agree with you,
963
00:40:48,195 --> 00:40:50,030
it's gonna be someone like this here.
964
00:40:50,030 --> 00:40:54,076
Come here, let me...
You look pretty sympathetic to this.
965
00:40:54,076 --> 00:40:57,788
Do you support...
This is a guy you'd do coke with in Miami.
966
00:40:57,788 --> 00:41:01,292
Now, what are you...
When you hear this guy, what do you think?
967
00:41:01,292 --> 00:41:04,128
He lost $200,000, how do you feel?
968
00:41:04,128 --> 00:41:06,839
All right, admittedly, I did trade crypto.
969
00:41:07,756 --> 00:41:10,301
[crowd laughing, cheering]
970
00:41:10,301 --> 00:41:12,178
Wait a minute, we are... we are shocked.
971
00:41:13,262 --> 00:41:16,140
You could have opted into,
like, a Roth IRA,
972
00:41:16,140 --> 00:41:18,851
you could have put your money
into a trust, government bonds.
973
00:41:18,851 --> 00:41:22,813
Those pay out so well, in, like, 30 years.
You would have been set up for retirement.
974
00:41:22,813 --> 00:41:23,856
[crowd booing]
975
00:41:23,856 --> 00:41:26,442
All right, sit down. Sit down.
976
00:41:26,442 --> 00:41:29,361
This guy's cucking
for JPMorgan on the show,
977
00:41:30,070 --> 00:41:31,655
that's not what we want.
978
00:41:32,281 --> 00:41:36,202
I got him up because I thought he was
going to be cool and on Molly and shit.
979
00:41:36,785 --> 00:41:39,788
And then he's talking about
fucking Roth IRAs.
980
00:41:40,789 --> 00:41:43,334
Your husband's a lot cooler
than this fucking guy.
981
00:41:43,334 --> 00:41:45,127
- I'm telling you right now.
- He's not.
982
00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:48,923
Will you... Can you...
Can you please just weigh in here
983
00:41:48,923 --> 00:41:50,758
because you look like a scumbag.
984
00:41:50,758 --> 00:41:51,926
Is there any way...
985
00:41:51,926 --> 00:41:54,261
Can you please back this guy up?
986
00:41:54,261 --> 00:41:56,472
Is there any...
I mean, you understand, right?
987
00:41:56,472 --> 00:41:58,432
- It could have gone up.
- [Lindsey] Do not do it.
988
00:41:58,432 --> 00:42:02,228
I wish I could, I don't think he has it.
I think you got to switch turns.
989
00:42:02,228 --> 00:42:03,771
Let her handle the finances.
990
00:42:03,771 --> 00:42:06,148
You handle the children,
seems you're more capable of that.
991
00:42:06,148 --> 00:42:08,484
- What do you... Oh-ho-ho-ho. Wait a minute.
- [crowd] Oh!
992
00:42:11,737 --> 00:42:14,990
Is there anyone who will support this guy?
993
00:42:14,990 --> 00:42:18,494
- Is there any guy who will? Or woman?
- No.
994
00:42:18,494 --> 00:42:20,913
- Yeah.
- Yeah, stand up. Thank you, guy.
995
00:42:20,913 --> 00:42:23,874
Thank you so much.
Thank you. Thank you so mu...
996
00:42:23,874 --> 00:42:26,669
You look like
a character witness in a rape trial.
997
00:42:26,669 --> 00:42:28,671
[crowd laughing]
998
00:42:28,671 --> 00:42:30,548
I mean, Jesus Christ.
999
00:42:32,007 --> 00:42:33,467
[laughs]
1000
00:42:34,885 --> 00:42:36,178
Hey, it was a tough year.
1001
00:42:37,054 --> 00:42:39,348
You were trying to do
something good for your family.
1002
00:42:39,348 --> 00:42:43,602
You were trying to make an investment.
This is America. And the dream can happen.
1003
00:42:43,602 --> 00:42:46,355
Listen, Lindsey,
American Psycho makes a good point.
1004
00:42:47,648 --> 00:42:51,277
I mean, even on the way here,
I see this fucking hamster,
1005
00:42:51,277 --> 00:42:53,445
with, like, money popping off of it.
1006
00:42:53,445 --> 00:42:54,530
And I'm like,
1007
00:42:55,489 --> 00:42:56,407
"What is that?"
1008
00:42:56,407 --> 00:42:58,617
- Hamster Kombat. Big crypto.
- What is that?
1009
00:42:58,617 --> 00:43:01,412
- Hamster Kombat.
- That's the shit I don't want to see.
1010
00:43:01,412 --> 00:43:04,748
Wait a minute. Hold on.
Hold on. Hamster Kombat?
1011
00:43:04,748 --> 00:43:05,666
Hamster Kombat. Yes.
1012
00:43:05,666 --> 00:43:07,960
- This sounds kinda badass.
- [Francesco] It's pretty good.
1013
00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:11,088
Wait a minute. Hold on. What...
Is it hamsters that kind of fight?
1014
00:43:11,088 --> 00:43:13,048
No! It's one hamster.
1015
00:43:13,048 --> 00:43:15,009
- And all it does is...
- She doesn't understand.
1016
00:43:15,009 --> 00:43:16,969
He just hits it
and little money signs pop up.
1017
00:43:16,969 --> 00:43:19,471
No, but I like this. Go on about this.
1018
00:43:19,471 --> 00:43:21,640
Now... No, no, no, you judgmental cunts.
1019
00:43:21,640 --> 00:43:23,058
Now, listen to me, this...
1020
00:43:23,058 --> 00:43:25,102
This is a hamster and what happens?
1021
00:43:25,102 --> 00:43:26,854
{\an8}Well, the hamster,
1022
00:43:26,854 --> 00:43:30,024
{\an8}it just appears out of thin air,
the more you touch it, the more you...
1023
00:43:30,024 --> 00:43:33,277
{\an8}the more you click on it,
and then it becomes a CEO,
1024
00:43:33,277 --> 00:43:36,655
{\an8}- and you can buy a Lambo with the ham...
- [crowd booing]
1025
00:43:36,655 --> 00:43:39,533
Lindsey, you see this hamster
on the plane, what do you think?
1026
00:43:39,533 --> 00:43:42,202
Right. I'm like,
"Okay, what the hell are you doing?"
1027
00:43:42,202 --> 00:43:44,538
I'm like, "Turn the phone.
Let me see the phone."
1028
00:43:44,538 --> 00:43:46,373
"Let me see the phone." Know what it was?
1029
00:43:46,373 --> 00:43:47,750
- It was--
- A woodchuck?
1030
00:43:47,750 --> 00:43:50,210
It was two cartoon women
1031
00:43:50,878 --> 00:43:52,546
called, "Twerk-something,"
1032
00:43:52,546 --> 00:43:55,549
and the more you press it,
the bigger their butts grow.
1033
00:43:55,549 --> 00:43:58,969
[crowd laughing, cheering]
1034
00:44:01,764 --> 00:44:04,516
It's a mini-game
that's part of Hamster Kombat.
1035
00:44:04,516 --> 00:44:07,436
So to answer your question,
to answer your question,
1036
00:44:07,436 --> 00:44:08,395
what I would like
1037
00:44:08,395 --> 00:44:11,815
is to not ever see any of this shit again.
1038
00:44:11,815 --> 00:44:13,651
Francesco, will you promise
1039
00:44:14,193 --> 00:44:16,654
to your beautiful pregnant wife right now
1040
00:44:17,237 --> 00:44:19,782
that you will not play...
1041
00:44:19,782 --> 00:44:20,866
Mm-hmm.
1042
00:44:20,866 --> 00:44:21,950
...with hamsters,
1043
00:44:22,785 --> 00:44:24,036
penguins,
1044
00:44:24,036 --> 00:44:26,455
apes, or big-butted women?
1045
00:44:28,832 --> 00:44:30,709
If that's what it takes to keep you...
1046
00:44:30,709 --> 00:44:33,337
- [crowd jeering]
- If that's what it takes... if that...
1047
00:44:33,337 --> 00:44:37,341
If... If... If it's my wife or the crypto,
1048
00:44:37,341 --> 00:44:38,467
I would choose my wife.
1049
00:44:39,176 --> 00:44:43,180
All right, give them a round of applause.
Let's give them a round of applause.
1050
00:44:46,141 --> 00:44:48,811
Lindsey, do you accept this?
1051
00:44:50,270 --> 00:44:51,855
I'll believe it when I see it.
1052
00:44:51,855 --> 00:44:55,150
All right. Well, give her a big hug.
Give her a big hug and a kiss.
1053
00:44:55,150 --> 00:44:56,652
- Come on.
- [crowd applauding]
1054
00:44:56,652 --> 00:44:58,278
[Tim] That's your hamster right there.
1055
00:44:58,278 --> 00:45:00,489
- That's your big hamster.
- [Francesco] I love you.
1056
00:45:00,489 --> 00:45:03,701
Ladies and gentlemen, give it up
for Lindsey and Francesco, everybody.
1057
00:45:03,701 --> 00:45:06,036
- Give them a round of applause.
- [crowd cheering]
1058
00:45:06,036 --> 00:45:07,538
[Tim] Give 'em a round of applause.
1059
00:45:07,538 --> 00:45:09,623
Thank you guys so much
for coming on. Good luck.
1060
00:45:10,582 --> 00:45:13,252
Francesco, I have
some opportunities for you later.
1061
00:45:13,252 --> 00:45:15,045
We'll figure it out. We'll talk.
1062
00:45:16,922 --> 00:45:21,176
Well, after what we've seen here tonight,
we can only come to one conclusion.
1063
00:45:21,176 --> 00:45:22,845
Harvey Weinstein is innocent.
1064
00:45:22,845 --> 00:45:25,222
- [shocked laughter]
- I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
1065
00:45:25,222 --> 00:45:28,976
The American people are very sick
and there's not much we can do about it.
1066
00:45:28,976 --> 00:45:32,855
There's not enough prisons to house them,
and we can't send them all to fight China.
1067
00:45:32,855 --> 00:45:35,107
So, what can we do?
1068
00:45:35,107 --> 00:45:37,943
We can keep feeding them
and paying them for sex.
1069
00:45:37,943 --> 00:45:41,029
Thank you for watching,
and register to vote! Good night!
1070
00:45:41,029 --> 00:45:43,282
- [cheering]
- [upbeat synth music playing]
1071
00:45:43,282 --> 00:45:47,077
Are you willing to twerk for Kamala?
Twerk for Kamala right now.
1072
00:45:47,578 --> 00:45:49,830
Twerk for Kamala. That's not twerking.
1073
00:45:49,830 --> 00:45:52,040
That's not twerk. That's horrible.
1074
00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:54,168
{\an8}- You say you're a magician, right?
- Yeah.
1075
00:45:54,168 --> 00:45:57,921
{\an8}So pull the rabbit out of the hat
and follow the White Rabbit for the truth.
1076
00:45:58,964 --> 00:46:00,466
Okay, that was terrible.
1077
00:46:00,466 --> 00:46:03,427
But the point is this...
It was absolutely terrible.
1078
00:46:04,094 --> 00:46:05,929
- Freedom...
- [crowd] Yeah.
1079
00:46:05,929 --> 00:46:07,598
[crowd jeering]
1080
00:46:07,598 --> 00:46:11,185
How... How fucking stupid is the entire...
1081
00:46:11,185 --> 00:46:12,936
I mean, this is amazing.
1082
00:46:12,936 --> 00:46:16,774
{\an8}These women are treating you
like a piñata, but you're allowing it to...
1083
00:46:16,774 --> 00:46:19,067
{\an8}That's... And it's not because
you're Mexican.
1084
00:46:19,943 --> 00:46:21,570
It's not because you're Mexican.
1085
00:46:21,570 --> 00:46:24,406
Oh, Mom!
1086
00:46:24,990 --> 00:46:25,908
So...
1087
00:46:27,284 --> 00:46:30,329
your boys, you would not manage as much,
1088
00:46:30,329 --> 00:46:33,707
but if your daughter became
a fatty boom-batty, you would...
1089
00:46:33,707 --> 00:46:35,751
- You would get involved?
- I'd be pretty upset.
1090
00:46:35,751 --> 00:46:38,253
- Maya, are you in a relationship now?
- I am.
1091
00:46:38,253 --> 00:46:41,089
- And what type of man are you with now?
- A provider.
1092
00:46:41,089 --> 00:46:43,300
- A generous man.
- A generous man. Okay.
1093
00:46:43,300 --> 00:46:45,344
- And how old is he?
- He's 84.
1094
00:46:45,344 --> 00:46:46,428
He's 84.
1095
00:46:46,428 --> 00:46:47,387
[crowd cheering]
1096
00:46:47,387 --> 00:46:48,972
He's 84 years...
1097
00:46:48,972 --> 00:46:50,641
- [crowd whooping]
- He's...
1098
00:46:52,184 --> 00:46:54,311
How creepy are white people?
1099
00:46:54,311 --> 00:46:57,147
I'm not a gold-digging whore,
but I am a size queen,
1100
00:46:57,147 --> 00:46:59,817
and the fact that
you can cross your legs like that,
1101
00:47:00,442 --> 00:47:01,902
- I don't have the time.
- [crowd] Oh!
1102
00:47:01,902 --> 00:47:05,072
Oh!
1103
00:47:06,824 --> 00:47:10,077
Jose! Jose!
1104
00:47:10,077 --> 00:47:11,620
I mean... Right?
1105
00:47:11,620 --> 00:47:13,747
- You're saying he's got a pussy?
- Yes.
1106
00:47:13,747 --> 00:47:17,167
Kill John McCain! Kill John McCain!
1107
00:47:17,709 --> 00:47:21,088
[all chanting] Kill John McCain!
Kill John McCain!