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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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(pencil scratching on paper)

4
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(pencil continues scratching,
then stops abruptly)

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♪ ♪

6
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♪ ♪

7
00:02:01,082 --> 00:02:03,155
♪ ♪

8
00:02:23,104 --> 00:02:25,177
♪ ♪

9
00:02:32,611 --> 00:02:34,681
(music stops abruptly)

10
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(wind howling)

11
00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:57,539
(wind whistling)

12
00:03:05,949 --> 00:03:08,847
(thumping)

13
00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:21,959
(grunting)

14
00:03:26,567 --> 00:03:29,874
JEM:<i> Father in heaven,</i>

15
00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:32,310
<i>I kneel before you today...</i>

16
00:03:34,213 --> 00:03:36,710
<i> in your omnipotent presence...</i>

17
00:03:40,186 --> 00:03:42,584
to ask
that you grant me strength.

18
00:03:44,050 --> 00:03:47,518
The strength to power
through all the tasks today,

19
00:03:47,653 --> 00:03:49,558
whether little or big.

20
00:03:53,357 --> 00:03:57,167
I know it is by your will
that I live, O Lord.

21
00:03:57,302 --> 00:04:00,202
And I know it is also
by your will

22
00:04:00,338 --> 00:04:02,741
that I will not go weak today.

23
00:04:02,876 --> 00:04:04,936
I will not go lazy...

24
00:04:06,806 --> 00:04:09,572
nor will I fail
to do the things

25
00:04:09,708 --> 00:04:11,740
that are set before me.

26
00:04:11,875 --> 00:04:13,113
(shower water running)

27
00:04:13,248 --> 00:04:14,912
(water stops)

28
00:04:15,048 --> 00:04:18,814
<i>Thank you for your</i>
<i>everlasting presence, Lord,</i>

29
00:04:18,949 --> 00:04:22,292
<i>and in Jesus' name I pray.</i>

30
00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:24,060
(whispering):
<i>In the name of the Father,</i>

31
00:04:24,196 --> 00:04:26,056
<i>the Son and the Holy Spirit.</i>

32
00:04:28,263 --> 00:04:29,796
<i> Amen.</i>

33
00:04:32,871 --> 00:04:34,933
♪ ♪

34
00:04:42,109 --> 00:04:44,978
JEM: Um, I'm gonna
be going away for a few days.

35
00:04:45,113 --> 00:04:48,754
I won't be that long,
but your-your mother's here,

36
00:04:48,889 --> 00:04:52,318
and-and she... um...

37
00:04:52,453 --> 00:04:55,117
(sighs) You know.

38
00:04:55,253 --> 00:04:58,887
Anyway, I just thought
to let you know

39
00:04:59,023 --> 00:05:01,256
I'm going away and, uh...

40
00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:06,800
♪ ♪

41
00:05:10,239 --> 00:05:12,311
(Jem sighs)

42
00:05:14,706 --> 00:05:16,942
(footsteps receding)

43
00:05:20,414 --> 00:05:22,079
(door closes)

44
00:05:22,987 --> 00:05:25,049
♪ ♪

45
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,393
(Jem sighs)

46
00:05:32,991 --> 00:05:36,060
-♪ ♪
-(no dialogue)

47
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(Jem inhales sharply, exhales)

48
00:05:46,673 --> 00:05:48,776
(engine starts, idling)

49
00:05:57,517 --> 00:05:59,490
(engine revving)

50
00:06:08,065 --> 00:06:10,160
♪ ♪

51
00:06:38,425 --> 00:06:40,531
♪ ♪

52
00:06:56,246 --> 00:06:58,307
(engine revving)

53
00:07:01,888 --> 00:07:03,950
♪ ♪

54
00:07:11,922 --> 00:07:13,498
(engine stops)

55
00:07:42,556 --> 00:07:44,991
(panting softly)

56
00:08:00,971 --> 00:08:03,009
(water trickling)

57
00:08:41,084 --> 00:08:42,820
REPORTER (over radio):
Viking, North and South Utsire,

58
00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:44,214
Forties.

59
00:08:44,349 --> 00:08:46,382
Southwesterly,
veering northwesterly,

60
00:08:46,517 --> 00:08:50,227
six to gale eight,
perhaps severe gale nine later.

61
00:08:50,362 --> 00:08:52,187
Rain, then wintry showers,

62
00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:55,156
moderate or poor,
becoming good.

63
00:08:55,292 --> 00:08:57,335
Cromarty, Forth, Tyne, Dogger.

64
00:08:57,471 --> 00:08:59,602
Southwesterly,
veering westerly,

65
00:08:59,737 --> 00:09:02,469
five to seven,
occasionally gale eight.

66
00:09:02,604 --> 00:09:04,075
Rain, then showers,

67
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,369
moderate or good.

68
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:09,240
Fisher, southwesterly,
veering westerly,

69
00:09:09,375 --> 00:09:13,242
six to gale eight,
perhaps severe gale nine later.

70
00:09:13,378 --> 00:09:15,518
-(tying shoe)
-Rain, then wintry showers,

71
00:09:15,654 --> 00:09:18,485
moderate or poor,
becoming good.

72
00:09:18,620 --> 00:09:20,391
German Bight, Humber.

73
00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:22,853
Southwesterly,
veering westerly,

74
00:09:22,988 --> 00:09:24,757
seven to severe gale nine,

75
00:09:24,892 --> 00:09:27,824
decreasing six in Humber later.

76
00:09:27,959 --> 00:09:29,532
Rain, then showers,

77
00:09:29,668 --> 00:09:31,867
moderate or poor,
becoming good.

78
00:09:33,068 --> 00:09:36,374
Thames, Dover, Wight,
Portland, Plymouth.

79
00:09:36,509 --> 00:09:38,742
Southwesterly,
six to gale eight,

80
00:09:38,877 --> 00:09:41,408
occasionally severe gale nine,
veering...

81
00:09:41,544 --> 00:09:43,615
(insects trilling)

82
00:09:46,682 --> 00:09:49,181
(bird calling in distance)

83
00:10:05,733 --> 00:10:07,804
(wind gusting)

84
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(wind howling)

85
00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:34,589
-(wind whistling)
-(leaves rustling)

86
00:10:47,345 --> 00:10:49,538
(engine starts)

87
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:56,380
(wind continues howling)

88
00:11:24,345 --> 00:11:27,851
("Solitude" by Black Sabbath
playing in distance)

89
00:11:36,658 --> 00:11:39,126
(panting)

90
00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:57,375
(takes deep breath)

91
00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:01,412
-("Solitude" continues)
-♪<i> Is less</i> ♪

92
00:12:04,988 --> 00:12:08,053
♪<i> My future is shrouded</i> ♪

93
00:12:08,188 --> 00:12:12,258
♪<i> In dark wilderness</i> ♪

94
00:12:16,565 --> 00:12:19,899
-♪<i> Sunshine is far away</i> ♪
-(faint, distant clattering)

95
00:12:20,034 --> 00:12:23,742
♪<i> Clouds linger on</i> ♪

96
00:12:26,676 --> 00:12:28,474
(sets down glasses)

97
00:12:28,610 --> 00:12:31,075
-♪<i> Everything I possessed</i> ♪
-(music volume lowers)

98
00:12:31,211 --> 00:12:34,947
♪<i> Now they are gone</i> ♪

99
00:12:35,083 --> 00:12:37,481
♪<i> They are gone</i> ♪

100
00:12:38,449 --> 00:12:43,553
♪<i> They are gone</i> ♪

101
00:12:56,838 --> 00:13:00,075
(takes deep breath)

102
00:13:04,509 --> 00:13:07,618
♪<i> Oh, where can I go to?</i> ♪

103
00:13:07,753 --> 00:13:12,120
♪<i> And what can I do?</i> ♪

104
00:13:16,620 --> 00:13:19,425
♪<i> Nothing can please me</i> ♪

105
00:13:19,560 --> 00:13:23,527
-♪<i> Only thoughts are of you</i> ♪
-(clicking)

106
00:13:27,064 --> 00:13:28,396
(clicking)

107
00:13:28,531 --> 00:13:30,169
♪<i> You just laughed</i> ♪

108
00:13:30,304 --> 00:13:35,341
♪<i> When I begged you to stay</i> ♪

109
00:13:39,314 --> 00:13:41,982
♪<i> I've not stopped crying</i> ♪

110
00:13:42,117 --> 00:13:44,989
♪<i> Since you went away</i> ♪

111
00:13:45,124 --> 00:13:49,058
-(wind howling)
-♪<i> You went away</i> ♪

112
00:13:50,059 --> 00:13:53,788
♪<i> You went away</i> ♪

113
00:14:00,329 --> 00:14:02,632
(water pouring)

114
00:14:08,844 --> 00:14:10,706
(sets down kettle)

115
00:14:12,341 --> 00:14:15,986
(picks up mugs)

116
00:14:17,985 --> 00:14:19,748
(sets mugs on table)

117
00:14:27,967 --> 00:14:31,296
♪<i> The world is a lonely place</i> ♪

118
00:14:31,431 --> 00:14:34,829
♪<i> You're on your own</i> ♪

119
00:14:39,845 --> 00:14:43,042
♪<i> Guess I will go home</i> ♪

120
00:14:43,178 --> 00:14:46,379
♪<i> Sit down and moan</i> ♪

121
00:14:51,153 --> 00:14:53,987
♪<i> Crying and thinking</i> ♪

122
00:14:54,122 --> 00:14:57,753
♪<i> Is all that I do</i> ♪

123
00:15:02,867 --> 00:15:05,460
♪<i> Memories I have</i> ♪

124
00:15:05,595 --> 00:15:10,332
♪<i> Remind me of you</i> ♪

125
00:15:10,467 --> 00:15:12,735
♪<i> Of you</i> ♪

126
00:15:13,844 --> 00:15:16,508
♪<i> Of you</i> ♪

127
00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:28,953
(spoon clinking in mug)

128
00:15:29,088 --> 00:15:30,593
(clinking stops)

129
00:15:30,728 --> 00:15:32,461
(sets spoon on table)

130
00:15:32,596 --> 00:15:34,691
♪ ♪

131
00:15:44,543 --> 00:15:46,175
(exhales)

132
00:15:53,987 --> 00:15:58,218
♪<i> The world is a lonely place</i> ♪

133
00:15:58,353 --> 00:16:02,252
♪<i> You're on your own</i> ♪

134
00:16:02,388 --> 00:16:05,128
(Velcro ripping, rummaging)

135
00:16:06,657 --> 00:16:09,700
♪<i> Guess I will go home</i> ♪

136
00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:13,598
♪<i> Sit down and moan</i> ♪

137
00:16:18,108 --> 00:16:20,777
♪<i> Crying and thinking</i> ♪

138
00:16:20,912 --> 00:16:24,774
♪<i> Is all that I do</i> ♪

139
00:16:29,547 --> 00:16:32,382
♪<i> Memories I have</i> ♪

140
00:16:32,517 --> 00:16:37,289
♪<i> Remind me of you</i> ♪

141
00:16:37,425 --> 00:16:40,031
-♪<i> Of you</i> ♪
-(clicking)

142
00:16:41,261 --> 00:16:44,860
♪<i> Of you.</i> ♪

143
00:16:46,264 --> 00:16:48,369
Our inheritance.

144
00:16:54,107 --> 00:16:56,179
(rain pattering)

145
00:17:01,548 --> 00:17:04,286
-(burbling)
-(fire rumbling softly)

146
00:17:12,664 --> 00:17:14,725
(rain pattering)

147
00:17:22,101 --> 00:17:24,042
(sighs)

148
00:17:33,478 --> 00:17:34,976
(clears throat softly)

149
00:17:37,050 --> 00:17:38,716
(sighs)

150
00:17:41,758 --> 00:17:43,556
(sighs)

151
00:17:46,224 --> 00:17:48,198
(sighs)

152
00:18:02,207 --> 00:18:03,675
(sniffs)

153
00:18:04,748 --> 00:18:06,249
Thank you.

154
00:18:12,082 --> 00:18:14,917
Bless us, O Lord,
and these thy gifts...

155
00:18:16,557 --> 00:18:18,723
...which we are
about to receive.

156
00:18:21,693 --> 00:18:23,935
Through Christ our Lord,
we pray.

157
00:18:24,070 --> 00:18:25,399
("On the Beach" by Neil Young
playing)

158
00:18:25,534 --> 00:18:31,175
♪<i> All my pictures are fallin'</i> ♪

159
00:18:33,470 --> 00:18:38,583
♪<i> From the wall where</i>
<i> I placed them yesterday</i> ♪

160
00:18:38,718 --> 00:18:41,050
(Jem humming softly)

161
00:18:41,186 --> 00:18:44,320
♪<i> The world is turnin'</i> ♪

162
00:18:47,818 --> 00:18:51,921
♪<i> Get outta town</i> ♪

163
00:18:54,893 --> 00:18:58,598
♪<i> Think I'll get outta town</i> ♪

164
00:19:06,078 --> 00:19:10,476
♪<i> Get outta town</i> ♪

165
00:19:10,612 --> 00:19:15,219
♪<i> Think I'll get outta town</i> ♪

166
00:19:21,787 --> 00:19:24,456
♪<i> I head for the sticks</i> ♪

167
00:19:24,592 --> 00:19:27,797
♪<i> With my bus and friends</i> ♪

168
00:19:27,932 --> 00:19:30,230
(blankets rustling)

169
00:19:30,366 --> 00:19:32,226
♪<i> I follow the road</i> ♪

170
00:19:32,362 --> 00:19:35,569
♪<i> Though I don't know</i>
<i> where it ends</i> ♪

171
00:19:35,705 --> 00:19:38,469
-♪<i> Get outta town</i> ♪
-(Jem clears throat)

172
00:19:38,605 --> 00:19:40,810
♪<i> Get outta town</i> ♪

173
00:19:40,945 --> 00:19:42,807
(Jem groans softly)

174
00:19:42,943 --> 00:19:46,881
♪<i> Think I'll</i>
<i> get outta town...</i> ♪

175
00:19:47,017 --> 00:19:49,143
20 years, huh?

176
00:19:52,957 --> 00:19:55,318
Bless you, brother.

177
00:19:55,453 --> 00:19:56,656
Fuck off.

178
00:19:58,258 --> 00:19:59,956
(song stops)

179
00:20:15,981 --> 00:20:19,382
(quiet, heavy breathing)

180
00:20:51,915 --> 00:20:53,977
♪ ♪

181
00:21:13,266 --> 00:21:15,372
♪ ♪

182
00:21:35,288 --> 00:21:37,361
♪ ♪

183
00:21:46,071 --> 00:21:47,965
(music stops abruptly)

184
00:21:50,304 --> 00:21:52,376
(crying softly)

185
00:22:02,712 --> 00:22:05,620
(sniffling)

186
00:22:06,682 --> 00:22:08,451
(sighs)

187
00:22:08,586 --> 00:22:10,724
(sobbing softly)

188
00:22:13,766 --> 00:22:15,124
(whimpers)

189
00:22:18,596 --> 00:22:20,099
NESSA: Brian.

190
00:22:20,235 --> 00:22:22,538
(sniffling)

191
00:22:28,946 --> 00:22:30,447
Brian.

192
00:22:32,347 --> 00:22:35,012
(continues crying)

193
00:22:38,858 --> 00:22:40,523
(sniffling)

194
00:22:50,165 --> 00:22:51,501
(kisses)

195
00:22:58,977 --> 00:23:00,877
Oh, sweetie.

196
00:23:01,013 --> 00:23:03,040
(crying continues)

197
00:23:09,583 --> 00:23:11,579
BRIAN: Where is he gone?

198
00:23:11,715 --> 00:23:13,890
NESSA: Who?

199
00:23:14,025 --> 00:23:15,521
Your dad?

200
00:23:15,657 --> 00:23:17,659
BRIAN: Has he gone to see him?

201
00:23:21,128 --> 00:23:23,863
But what the fuck
has he got to do with it, Mum?

202
00:23:25,570 --> 00:23:27,463
-What has he got to do with it?
-Everything.

203
00:23:27,599 --> 00:23:28,967
BRIAN: What?

204
00:23:30,108 --> 00:23:32,509
(breathing heavily)

205
00:23:34,037 --> 00:23:35,542
Why'd you hurt that lad, eh?

206
00:23:35,677 --> 00:23:37,178
He was
fucking asking for it, Mum.

207
00:23:37,314 --> 00:23:39,076
-Brian.
-(sniffles)

208
00:23:41,387 --> 00:23:43,216
Did he say something
about your dad?

209
00:23:43,352 --> 00:23:45,049
Jem is my dad.

210
00:23:46,357 --> 00:23:48,383
Or he said something about Ray?

211
00:23:48,518 --> 00:23:50,851
Well, if you know so much,
then why are you asking me?

212
00:23:50,987 --> 00:23:53,593
Don't be so cheeky.

213
00:23:53,728 --> 00:23:55,763
I'm just trying to talk to you.

214
00:24:01,273 --> 00:24:02,631
You nearly murdered that lad.

215
00:24:02,766 --> 00:24:04,267
Do you hear me?

216
00:24:04,403 --> 00:24:06,906
One more killer in the family.
Who's counting?

217
00:24:08,906 --> 00:24:10,745
Ray's not a killer.

218
00:24:12,311 --> 00:24:15,981
And even if he was one,
does it mean you have to be?

219
00:24:18,351 --> 00:24:19,589
Eh?

220
00:24:20,519 --> 00:24:22,218
Come here.

221
00:24:29,234 --> 00:24:30,933
Ray's not a killer.

222
00:24:31,068 --> 00:24:33,130
♪ ♪

223
00:24:40,909 --> 00:24:42,606
(whispering):
Our Father who art in heaven,

224
00:24:42,741 --> 00:24:44,337
hallowed be thy name.

225
00:24:44,473 --> 00:24:46,544
Thy kingdom come,
thy will be done

226
00:24:46,679 --> 00:24:48,142
as it is in heaven.

227
00:24:48,277 --> 00:24:49,614
Give us this day
our daily bread,

228
00:24:49,750 --> 00:24:51,114
and forgive us our trespasses

229
00:24:51,249 --> 00:24:53,021
as we forgive those
who trespass against us.

230
00:24:53,156 --> 00:24:55,251
♪ ♪

231
00:25:13,772 --> 00:25:15,703
NESSA:<i> Dear Ray,</i>

232
00:25:15,838 --> 00:25:17,675
<i> I'm not sure you'll even</i>
<i> get this letter</i>

233
00:25:17,810 --> 00:25:19,649
<i> or read it, even.</i>

234
00:25:23,184 --> 00:25:25,519
<i> So in the fact of hope</i>
<i> and answered prayers</i>

235
00:25:25,654 --> 00:25:27,051
<i>you'll be reading this one,</i>

236
00:25:27,187 --> 00:25:29,989
<i> I want to start</i>
<i> by asking how you are.</i>

237
00:25:32,292 --> 00:25:34,994
<i> The silence still burns</i>
<i> after all the years.</i>

238
00:25:35,129 --> 00:25:37,197
<i> And I often wonder</i>
<i> if you think about me.</i>

239
00:25:37,333 --> 00:25:38,463
<i> Us.</i>

240
00:25:38,599 --> 00:25:40,032
(gasps softly)

241
00:25:48,741 --> 00:25:50,911
(bed creaking)

242
00:25:55,517 --> 00:25:56,983
JEM: Did you read it?

243
00:26:01,819 --> 00:26:03,418
Did you read it?

244
00:26:12,163 --> 00:26:15,067
No, I didn't fucking read it.

245
00:26:17,570 --> 00:26:19,643
♪ ♪

246
00:26:41,495 --> 00:26:44,426
♪ ♪

247
00:27:01,944 --> 00:27:04,017
♪ ♪

248
00:27:24,736 --> 00:27:26,809
♪ ♪

249
00:27:33,745 --> 00:27:35,118
Whoo!

250
00:27:35,253 --> 00:27:37,721
(fire crackling)

251
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:57,873
(opens drawer)

252
00:27:59,103 --> 00:28:00,605
(clears throat softly)

253
00:28:00,740 --> 00:28:02,537
(closes drawer)

254
00:28:10,389 --> 00:28:13,219
(sets glasses on table)

255
00:28:13,354 --> 00:28:17,725
"Give strong drink unto him
that is ready to perish,

256
00:28:17,860 --> 00:28:20,990
and wine unto the bitter
in soul."

257
00:28:21,126 --> 00:28:23,432
-JEM: Amen.
-(Ray sighs)

258
00:28:23,568 --> 00:28:25,197
(Jem coughs, clears throat)

259
00:28:26,229 --> 00:28:27,969
(screws cap on bottle)

260
00:28:34,578 --> 00:28:36,505
Her Majesty the Queen.

261
00:28:38,843 --> 00:28:39,909
(grunts)

262
00:28:40,044 --> 00:28:42,148
(Jem inhales sharply)

263
00:28:43,351 --> 00:28:46,647
What happened to "for what
we are about to receive"?

264
00:28:53,756 --> 00:28:57,526
So it's only before eating
that you say grace?

265
00:28:59,832 --> 00:29:03,202
He don't mind if you have a few
fucking bevvies without a word?

266
00:29:14,583 --> 00:29:15,852
(exhales softly)

267
00:29:18,417 --> 00:29:20,247
You forgot to wipe your arse
this morning.

268
00:29:20,383 --> 00:29:23,217
I saw the shit in your pants.

269
00:29:23,353 --> 00:29:25,554
No, that were from yesterday.

270
00:29:27,025 --> 00:29:29,096
You dirty bastard.

271
00:29:35,172 --> 00:29:39,106
Is cleanliness next to
godliness, would you say?

272
00:29:44,607 --> 00:29:46,407
How do you know
he's not filthy?

273
00:29:46,542 --> 00:29:48,048
Is there any evidence
in the Bible

274
00:29:48,184 --> 00:29:50,948
that says God takes a bath
three times a week?

275
00:29:51,084 --> 00:29:52,950
Changes his undies every day?

276
00:29:53,086 --> 00:29:54,517
God doesn't need undies,

277
00:29:54,653 --> 00:29:56,116
'cause he's not full of shit
like you are.

278
00:29:56,251 --> 00:29:57,694
Oh, is that so?

279
00:29:57,829 --> 00:29:59,994
Has he got an endless supply
up there?

280
00:30:00,129 --> 00:30:02,800
Bet he never has to wear
the same pair twice.

281
00:30:04,736 --> 00:30:08,263
Does he like a nice, snug fit?

282
00:30:08,399 --> 00:30:10,500
Or does he like plenty of room

283
00:30:10,635 --> 00:30:15,373
for his big fucking God balls
to swing around in?

284
00:30:15,508 --> 00:30:18,772
You know, like massive
fucking church bells, them.

285
00:30:20,247 --> 00:30:22,176
Bet it's like
Canterbury Cathedral

286
00:30:22,311 --> 00:30:24,151
down below decks.

287
00:30:28,683 --> 00:30:30,861
You're going to hell, brother.

288
00:30:31,924 --> 00:30:33,996
Family reunion?

289
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:43,571
Father Rippon died last week.

290
00:30:43,706 --> 00:30:45,876
Saw it in the paper.

291
00:30:46,940 --> 00:30:48,846
Don't read papers.

292
00:30:52,013 --> 00:30:54,483
Did you ever see him again?

293
00:30:54,618 --> 00:30:56,513
Is that a question?

294
00:31:01,052 --> 00:31:04,521
Did hear he were carted off to
the nuthouse a few years ago.

295
00:31:10,731 --> 00:31:13,033
-Please read that letter, Ray.
-When I were back on leave

296
00:31:13,169 --> 00:31:16,563
after third tour
of the province--

297
00:31:16,698 --> 00:31:19,206
lost two of our lads
on that one...

298
00:31:22,111 --> 00:31:24,343
...started to think
about him, Rippon.

299
00:31:25,843 --> 00:31:27,574
More I thought about him,
the more I wanted

300
00:31:27,710 --> 00:31:30,214
to pay him a visit,
have a catch-up.

301
00:31:30,349 --> 00:31:33,352
A debrief about
the good old days.

302
00:31:34,850 --> 00:31:38,187
Anyway, when I got home,
I looked him up.

303
00:31:38,322 --> 00:31:40,930
Weren't easy to find.

304
00:31:41,065 --> 00:31:42,926
Course, they'd moved him
around a bit.

305
00:31:43,062 --> 00:31:45,229
Business as usual.

306
00:31:45,364 --> 00:31:47,060
Tracked him down
in Huddersfield.

307
00:31:47,195 --> 00:31:48,797
Hmm.

308
00:31:48,932 --> 00:31:51,402
Should've seen me all
togged out in my number twos.

309
00:31:51,537 --> 00:31:53,834
I mean, for someone
that were in shit order

310
00:31:53,969 --> 00:31:56,813
most days of the week,
I smartened up well.

311
00:31:56,949 --> 00:32:00,145
Cacks under the mattress
the night before.

312
00:32:00,281 --> 00:32:03,577
Razor-sharp creases
front and back.

313
00:32:03,713 --> 00:32:05,246
I were bulling my boots
all morning.

314
00:32:05,382 --> 00:32:06,922
Like mirrors they were.

315
00:32:07,057 --> 00:32:09,917
This were
parade ground standard, Jem.

316
00:32:10,052 --> 00:32:12,022
Could've done
a ceremonial duty at Buck Pal,

317
00:32:12,157 --> 00:32:13,728
I looked that good.

318
00:32:13,864 --> 00:32:15,290
Number two dress and medals.

319
00:32:15,426 --> 00:32:17,991
I were that well turned out,

320
00:32:18,127 --> 00:32:20,128
I could hear our dear mother's
voice saying,

321
00:32:20,263 --> 00:32:21,933
"Come home, son.

322
00:32:22,068 --> 00:32:23,430
All is forgiven."

323
00:32:23,566 --> 00:32:25,774
-Number ones.
-The what?

324
00:32:25,909 --> 00:32:27,407
Number one dress at the palace.

325
00:32:27,542 --> 00:32:29,344
Yeah, right, right.
That's what I'm saying.

326
00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:31,344
I were that smart, you wouldn't
have known the difference.

327
00:32:31,479 --> 00:32:33,748
I suppose not
if you were pig-ignorant.

328
00:32:33,883 --> 00:32:35,084
(clears throat softly)

329
00:32:36,354 --> 00:32:38,114
Hmm.

330
00:32:38,250 --> 00:32:41,220
So, go round his house.

331
00:32:41,355 --> 00:32:44,092
Lovely little
grace-and-favor cottage

332
00:32:44,227 --> 00:32:46,862
paid for by His Holiness,
no doubt.

333
00:32:46,997 --> 00:32:50,158
Window boxes,
perfect little lawn,

334
00:32:50,293 --> 00:32:51,801
hedges trimmed.

335
00:32:51,936 --> 00:32:54,936
Knock on the door,
and there he is.

336
00:32:55,071 --> 00:32:58,107
All scrubbed up,
pink and shiny.

337
00:33:00,073 --> 00:33:01,803
He seemed so old.

338
00:33:03,014 --> 00:33:05,646
I remember him
as a big, strong bugger.

339
00:33:05,782 --> 00:33:07,082
And there he were,

340
00:33:07,218 --> 00:33:09,985
scrawny little old man
with a potbelly.

341
00:33:10,121 --> 00:33:12,186
I was surprised
at how small he looked.

342
00:33:12,322 --> 00:33:14,354
I said,
"Father Rippon, isn't it?

343
00:33:14,489 --> 00:33:16,554
"I'm collecting
for the Veterans Association.

344
00:33:16,689 --> 00:33:18,827
Would you mind if I stepped
inside for a moment?"

345
00:33:18,962 --> 00:33:20,194
I could tell he were impressed.

346
00:33:20,330 --> 00:33:22,197
"Oh, do come in.
Do come in, young man.

347
00:33:22,332 --> 00:33:25,033
You're very welcome, son.
Do come in."

348
00:33:25,169 --> 00:33:27,295
He's all fluffed up,
bustling about.

349
00:33:27,430 --> 00:33:28,663
The kettle's on.

350
00:33:28,798 --> 00:33:31,568
Fine china, biscuits,
the whole works.

351
00:33:31,704 --> 00:33:34,169
"You'll take a cuppa,
won't you, son?"

352
00:33:34,304 --> 00:33:36,011
So we sit down.

353
00:33:36,146 --> 00:33:38,175
We sit down
in his tidy little parlor,

354
00:33:38,311 --> 00:33:39,983
chatting about this and that.

355
00:33:40,118 --> 00:33:42,877
I say, "This is your parish,
is it, Father?"

356
00:33:43,012 --> 00:33:46,347
He says, "Oh, I'm currently
between parishes.

357
00:33:46,483 --> 00:33:48,320
Semiretired, you know."

358
00:33:48,456 --> 00:33:50,651
I said, "Oh,
that must be difficult

359
00:33:50,786 --> 00:33:53,525
after all the years
of service."

360
00:34:02,739 --> 00:34:04,566
We talk about...

361
00:34:04,701 --> 00:34:06,700
talking about
the state of things,

362
00:34:06,836 --> 00:34:09,869
the ungovernable,
godless youth.

363
00:34:10,005 --> 00:34:13,545
He asks me,
"Are you of the faith, son?"

364
00:34:14,951 --> 00:34:17,513
And I say, "Faith runs

365
00:34:17,648 --> 00:34:20,222
very deep in our family,
Father."

366
00:34:22,084 --> 00:34:24,024
He says, "Of course,
what I miss most of all

367
00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:26,126
is working with young people."

368
00:34:26,262 --> 00:34:28,791
I nearly choked
on my custard cream.

369
00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:32,828
Anyway, so, there's a lull
in the conversation,

370
00:34:32,963 --> 00:34:34,894
and he says, "Oh, I do
beg your pardon, Corporal.

371
00:34:35,030 --> 00:34:37,569
Perhaps you'd like
something stronger."

372
00:34:41,804 --> 00:34:44,279
I just look at him
for a long time.

373
00:34:47,647 --> 00:34:50,384
"Would you like
something stronger, Father?"

374
00:34:55,260 --> 00:34:57,320
I could see the thrill of it
coursing through him.

375
00:34:57,456 --> 00:34:58,821
He didn't dare believe.

376
00:34:58,956 --> 00:35:02,427
His face darkened,
his eyes all glittery.

377
00:35:02,562 --> 00:35:04,062
He said, "Well, I would
if you would."

378
00:35:04,197 --> 00:35:05,464
He starts to get up.

379
00:35:05,599 --> 00:35:09,370
I say, "I'm very strong,
Father Rippon."

380
00:35:10,903 --> 00:35:13,266
He sits back down as if
his legs went from under him.

381
00:35:13,402 --> 00:35:15,068
I say...

382
00:35:16,245 --> 00:35:18,915
"Would you like
to have a look?"

383
00:35:19,050 --> 00:35:20,478
I start
to unbutton my trousers.

384
00:35:20,614 --> 00:35:22,082
I thought he might have
a heart attack.

385
00:35:22,218 --> 00:35:23,447
He just couldn't believe it.

386
00:35:23,582 --> 00:35:24,610
It was like Christmas
come early.

387
00:35:24,746 --> 00:35:27,452
So I stood myself up...

388
00:35:27,588 --> 00:35:31,455
teasing open the buttons
like a rent boy.

389
00:35:31,591 --> 00:35:35,165
Dropped the cacks,
dropped my undies.

390
00:35:36,768 --> 00:35:39,430
I say, "There it is."

391
00:35:39,565 --> 00:35:42,004
I said,
"Lie down on the floor."

392
00:35:42,140 --> 00:35:45,741
He lies down,
eager to accommodate.

393
00:35:45,877 --> 00:35:47,438
I said, "In a crucifix.

394
00:35:47,573 --> 00:35:49,674
That would make me
nice and hard."

395
00:35:51,015 --> 00:35:52,706
Waddled forward a few steps.

396
00:35:52,842 --> 00:35:54,515
I'm stood right over him.

397
00:35:54,650 --> 00:35:57,877
Oh, there's one detail
I forgot to mention, Jem.

398
00:35:58,012 --> 00:36:00,321
For a few days
before I went round,

399
00:36:00,457 --> 00:36:03,558
I were on a diet
of Guinness and curry.

400
00:36:03,694 --> 00:36:07,120
And then the afternoon of,
I took a handful of laxatives.

401
00:36:10,135 --> 00:36:11,595
It were hard to get
the timing right.

402
00:36:11,730 --> 00:36:13,434
I was sat in my car
outside his house

403
00:36:13,570 --> 00:36:15,700
for a couple of hours,
and nothing was shifting.

404
00:36:16,967 --> 00:36:21,140
As soon as I felt
that stirring within,

405
00:36:21,275 --> 00:36:23,246
I knocked on his door.

406
00:36:24,648 --> 00:36:27,075
As I'm sitting there,
it's welling up inside me,

407
00:36:27,211 --> 00:36:29,580
and now I swear
I'm coming apart at the seams.

408
00:36:29,716 --> 00:36:32,079
The rivets are popping
out of me.

409
00:36:34,989 --> 00:36:38,327
The army teaches you to grin
and bear it, doesn't it, Jem?

410
00:36:39,926 --> 00:36:44,960
We do love the exquisite agony
of self-denial.

411
00:36:47,034 --> 00:36:48,804
So...

412
00:36:48,940 --> 00:36:50,570
I'm stood over him.

413
00:36:51,534 --> 00:36:53,274
(clicks tongue)

414
00:36:53,410 --> 00:36:57,711
I say,
"Don't recognize me, do you?"

415
00:36:57,847 --> 00:37:00,112
"What?"

416
00:37:00,247 --> 00:37:02,175
I say, "Little Ray.

417
00:37:03,420 --> 00:37:06,223
I'm your Little Ray
from the care home."

418
00:37:09,489 --> 00:37:11,027
Takes him a good few moments,

419
00:37:11,163 --> 00:37:14,060
his eyes flicking
this way and that.

420
00:37:14,195 --> 00:37:16,594
When the penny drops,

421
00:37:16,730 --> 00:37:20,061
fear runs through him
like electricity.

422
00:37:20,196 --> 00:37:22,537
And the stinking sweat
poured out of him.

423
00:37:22,673 --> 00:37:24,973
"Oh, please don't hurt me.
Please don't hurt me."

424
00:37:25,108 --> 00:37:27,277
I said, "Don't move.

425
00:37:28,873 --> 00:37:30,736
"If you move an inch,
I'll cut off

426
00:37:30,872 --> 00:37:32,742
"your meat and potatoes

427
00:37:32,878 --> 00:37:35,978
"and shove them down
your fucking throat.

428
00:37:36,113 --> 00:37:38,822
You can suck yourself off
for a change."

429
00:37:38,957 --> 00:37:40,555
Well, come to think of it,

430
00:37:40,690 --> 00:37:42,718
shame he didn't learn
to do that a few years ago.

431
00:37:42,853 --> 00:37:45,086
He might have been
self-sufficient.

432
00:37:46,828 --> 00:37:51,958
Shuffled forwards, about-turn,
very awkward,

433
00:37:52,093 --> 00:37:54,264
heels on his stringy
little arms.

434
00:37:54,399 --> 00:37:58,274
He flinched. I could tell it
hurt him, but he daren't move.

435
00:37:58,410 --> 00:38:01,069
"Now, look up the sluice pipe,
Father."

436
00:38:02,243 --> 00:38:04,413
And I squatted down.

437
00:38:05,609 --> 00:38:07,614
And I manured him.

438
00:38:08,786 --> 00:38:11,244
(laughing)

439
00:38:13,892 --> 00:38:15,787
(laughing): Now...

440
00:38:19,893 --> 00:38:23,899
This evacuation were in
three distinct phases.

441
00:38:24,034 --> 00:38:25,758
First, I sprayed...

442
00:38:25,894 --> 00:38:28,661
(laughing): sprayed him.

443
00:38:28,797 --> 00:38:30,703
Pebble-dashed him.

444
00:38:34,072 --> 00:38:37,644
Like a flock of pigeons
taking off, they were.

445
00:38:40,484 --> 00:38:44,420
Then a couple of waves
of hot lava.

446
00:38:46,251 --> 00:38:50,426
And finally, one... one big...
(continues laughing)

447
00:38:56,292 --> 00:39:01,463
...one big patty cake,
like wet cement,

448
00:39:01,598 --> 00:39:03,902
flops out of me.

449
00:39:05,206 --> 00:39:08,142
And he's retching and spitting,
and he daren't breathe in,

450
00:39:08,277 --> 00:39:10,244
but he has to breathe.

451
00:39:10,379 --> 00:39:11,875
And I'm laughing that much,

452
00:39:12,011 --> 00:39:15,352
I feared I might topple over
into my own filth.

453
00:39:19,123 --> 00:39:20,680
And that's it.

454
00:39:20,815 --> 00:39:23,457
Stood up.

455
00:39:23,593 --> 00:39:26,889
Little packet
of wet wipes in my pocket.

456
00:39:27,025 --> 00:39:30,663
Cleaned myself up...
(continues laughing)

457
00:39:30,798 --> 00:39:33,865
and walked out of there
light as a feather.

458
00:39:39,470 --> 00:39:40,608
(sighs)

459
00:39:52,650 --> 00:39:54,523
Did you believe that?

460
00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:18,747
Did he do you in the hole?

461
00:40:18,882 --> 00:40:19,911
Huh?

462
00:40:26,384 --> 00:40:28,018
No.

463
00:40:29,489 --> 00:40:31,657
I bet he didn't.

464
00:40:31,793 --> 00:40:34,629
Even at that age,
they were scared of you.

465
00:40:38,696 --> 00:40:40,261
(sets bottle down)

466
00:40:40,396 --> 00:40:43,838
Where were you when he was
fucking me up the hole?

467
00:40:43,973 --> 00:40:46,007
Huh?

468
00:40:46,143 --> 00:40:48,137
He done me proper.

469
00:40:50,180 --> 00:40:52,240
He done me proper.

470
00:41:00,454 --> 00:41:02,316
(picks up bottle)

471
00:41:12,263 --> 00:41:14,933
Didn't have much luck
with fathers, did we?

472
00:41:30,583 --> 00:41:31,953
How about some tunes?

473
00:41:32,088 --> 00:41:34,150
♪ ♪

474
00:41:53,571 --> 00:41:55,644
♪ ♪

475
00:42:10,159 --> 00:42:12,221
♪ ♪

476
00:42:30,311 --> 00:42:32,373
♪ ♪

477
00:42:46,690 --> 00:42:48,763
♪ ♪

478
00:43:04,048 --> 00:43:06,110
♪ ♪

479
00:43:22,363 --> 00:43:24,425
♪ ♪

480
00:43:38,808 --> 00:43:40,914
♪ ♪

481
00:44:31,995 --> 00:44:34,099
(breath trembling)

482
00:44:47,685 --> 00:44:49,877
-(arrow whooshes)
-(animal screeches)

483
00:44:50,012 --> 00:44:53,250
(birds calling)

484
00:45:24,552 --> 00:45:26,613
(birds chirping)

485
00:45:40,998 --> 00:45:42,602
JEM: Fucking hell.

486
00:45:42,738 --> 00:45:45,104
-Fucking pig.
-(laughing)

487
00:45:51,175 --> 00:45:52,644
What's wrong with you?

488
00:45:52,779 --> 00:45:54,542
(continues laughing)

489
00:45:56,378 --> 00:45:58,781
All right? (continues laughing)

490
00:45:58,916 --> 00:46:00,757
Fucking hell.

491
00:46:02,493 --> 00:46:04,123
What you doing that for?

492
00:46:04,258 --> 00:46:05,927
-(Ray continues laughing)
-(Jem chuckles)

493
00:46:07,522 --> 00:46:10,093
What are you doing
that for, hmm?

494
00:46:10,229 --> 00:46:11,931
-What are you doing that for?
-What?

495
00:46:12,067 --> 00:46:13,698
Just chucking 'em
in your mouth.

496
00:46:13,833 --> 00:46:15,599
(continues laughing)

497
00:46:15,734 --> 00:46:17,807
♪ ♪

498
00:46:21,575 --> 00:46:23,076
(sniffs)

499
00:46:24,307 --> 00:46:25,807
I'm not gonna eat them now.

500
00:46:25,942 --> 00:46:28,015
♪ ♪

501
00:46:32,957 --> 00:46:34,780
-(engine revving)
-MOTORCYCLIST: You all right?

502
00:46:34,915 --> 00:46:37,082
I'm fucking crossing there,
you fucking twat!

503
00:46:37,218 --> 00:46:39,487
MOTORCYCLIST: Look where you're
fucking going, you stupid...

504
00:46:39,623 --> 00:46:41,721
(motorcyclist's shouting
fades in distance)

505
00:46:44,600 --> 00:46:46,099
HATTIE: Nessa?

506
00:46:47,095 --> 00:46:48,530
Nessa.

507
00:46:49,504 --> 00:46:51,440
Hattie?

508
00:46:51,576 --> 00:46:53,634
(indistinct chatter nearby)

509
00:46:55,742 --> 00:46:57,436
(Nessa chuckles)

510
00:46:57,571 --> 00:46:59,274
Look at you in your white coat.

511
00:46:59,410 --> 00:47:01,109
Oh, don't get ahead
of yourself.

512
00:47:01,245 --> 00:47:03,485
I'm only a trainee, Nessa.

513
00:47:03,621 --> 00:47:05,349
It looks good on you, though.

514
00:47:05,484 --> 00:47:07,684
Even the cleaners
get white coats in the chemist.

515
00:47:07,819 --> 00:47:09,020
(laughing)

516
00:47:09,155 --> 00:47:10,921
-Have you finished uni?
-Mm-mm.

517
00:47:11,057 --> 00:47:12,420
Finals coming up this year.

518
00:47:12,556 --> 00:47:14,796
-This is my workplace training.
-Right.

519
00:47:14,932 --> 00:47:16,328
I'm-I'm glad I ran into you,
Nessa.

520
00:47:16,463 --> 00:47:18,531
I've not heard from Brian
for an age now.

521
00:47:18,666 --> 00:47:20,034
Is he all right?

522
00:47:44,856 --> 00:47:46,291
What?

523
00:47:51,368 --> 00:47:52,759
What?

524
00:47:56,736 --> 00:47:58,831
♪ ♪

525
00:48:20,695 --> 00:48:22,756
(rain pattering)

526
00:48:51,122 --> 00:48:52,588
(sets ashtray down)

527
00:49:06,105 --> 00:49:07,636
I really hurt him, Hattie.

528
00:49:11,716 --> 00:49:13,807
I don't know what I...

529
00:49:15,720 --> 00:49:17,877
I-I don't actually know.

530
00:49:19,353 --> 00:49:22,959
I just... I...
I couldn't stop myself.

531
00:49:28,730 --> 00:49:30,631
I have, uh...

532
00:49:30,766 --> 00:49:32,694
I hurt him badly.

533
00:49:35,596 --> 00:49:37,102
What did he say to you?

534
00:49:37,237 --> 00:49:39,805
I can't even remember, Hattie.

535
00:49:39,940 --> 00:49:42,143
(scoffs) Well, I can.

536
00:49:43,372 --> 00:49:44,778
But... (sighs)

537
00:49:44,914 --> 00:49:49,615
just-just usual stupid shit.

538
00:49:49,750 --> 00:49:52,278
About him?

539
00:49:52,413 --> 00:49:54,489
I just...

540
00:49:54,624 --> 00:49:57,492
Fuck, I just...

541
00:49:57,628 --> 00:49:59,622
(groans) I just...

542
00:50:08,672 --> 00:50:09,830
(sighs softly)

543
00:50:29,857 --> 00:50:31,918
(birds chirping)

544
00:50:33,160 --> 00:50:35,394
You were in East Tyrone, right?

545
00:50:37,366 --> 00:50:40,501
Ooh, let me just cast
my mind back for a moment.

546
00:50:40,636 --> 00:50:42,170
Wrong.

547
00:50:44,205 --> 00:50:46,969
You know exactly where I were.

548
00:50:47,105 --> 00:50:49,236
Crossmaglen.

549
00:50:49,371 --> 00:50:51,311
Bandit country.

550
00:50:56,086 --> 00:50:58,251
There were an IRA
active service unit

551
00:50:58,387 --> 00:51:00,746
operating in the area,
doing all sorts.

552
00:51:00,881 --> 00:51:04,225
They were very good,
very skillful.

553
00:51:05,889 --> 00:51:09,527
Cunning, ghosting back
and forth across the border.

554
00:51:11,131 --> 00:51:12,662
It were cat and mouse.

555
00:51:12,797 --> 00:51:16,072
Sometimes we were the cats,
sometimes they were.

556
00:51:16,207 --> 00:51:18,899
As often as not,
you weren't even sure which.

557
00:51:20,538 --> 00:51:21,941
You could have them
in your sights

558
00:51:22,076 --> 00:51:23,706
with the safety catch off.

559
00:51:23,841 --> 00:51:25,973
Meantime, they'd have
a high-velocity round

560
00:51:26,108 --> 00:51:29,118
merrily winging its way
toward the back of your head.

561
00:51:33,784 --> 00:51:36,620
Just in the week
before we'd dug in...

562
00:51:38,560 --> 00:51:43,189
...we found and defused
three massive IEDs of theirs.

563
00:51:43,325 --> 00:51:47,860
They shot and killed one of
our dog handlers and the dog.

564
00:51:47,996 --> 00:51:50,639
And they shot down
a fucking helicopter.

565
00:51:50,774 --> 00:51:52,974
One week's work.

566
00:51:53,110 --> 00:51:56,112
Provo Army Council
expected results.

567
00:51:57,579 --> 00:52:00,248
(sighs)
And they weren't disappointed.

568
00:52:03,786 --> 00:52:06,116
Incendiaries,

569
00:52:06,252 --> 00:52:09,584
IEDs, grenades, mortars,

570
00:52:09,719 --> 00:52:13,060
sniper rifles,
heavy machine guns.

571
00:52:13,195 --> 00:52:15,395
Were better-equipped
than we were.

572
00:52:26,634 --> 00:52:28,276
What happened?

573
00:52:50,162 --> 00:52:51,794
(Jem sniffs)

574
00:53:01,139 --> 00:53:03,509
(sighs)

575
00:53:05,508 --> 00:53:07,843
(wind howling)

576
00:53:09,818 --> 00:53:11,847
♪ ♪

577
00:53:31,400 --> 00:53:33,506
♪ ♪

578
00:53:48,219 --> 00:53:50,325
♪ ♪

579
00:53:55,394 --> 00:53:57,761
(heavy, shaky breathing)

580
00:54:06,600 --> 00:54:08,706
♪ ♪

581
00:54:25,729 --> 00:54:27,791
♪ ♪

582
00:54:31,660 --> 00:54:34,226
(breathing heavily)

583
00:54:40,903 --> 00:54:42,641
-(grunts softly)
-(sets mug down)

584
00:54:44,375 --> 00:54:47,613
(sniffs, grunts)

585
00:54:57,761 --> 00:54:59,790
♪ ♪

586
00:55:03,064 --> 00:55:05,092
(birds chirping)

587
00:55:32,961 --> 00:55:35,023
♪ ♪

588
00:55:43,503 --> 00:55:45,165
(gun barrel clicks in place)

589
00:55:55,116 --> 00:55:56,308
(door opens)

590
00:56:08,399 --> 00:56:10,729
Are they the flowers
our dad used to grow?

591
00:56:12,463 --> 00:56:13,930
Anemones?

592
00:56:27,147 --> 00:56:29,209
♪ ♪

593
00:56:43,192 --> 00:56:44,857
NESSA:
<i>I'll write as if you've read</i>

594
00:56:44,993 --> 00:56:47,399
<i> all my other letters.</i>

595
00:56:47,535 --> 00:56:48,864
<i> The desire to talk to you</i>

596
00:56:48,999 --> 00:56:50,270
<i> and share everything</i>
<i> is strong.</i>

597
00:56:50,406 --> 00:56:52,468
<i>However, this isn't about me.</i>

598
00:56:52,604 --> 00:56:54,542
<i> This is about Brian.</i>

599
00:56:56,575 --> 00:56:58,447
<i> Brian needs you.</i>

600
00:57:00,814 --> 00:57:03,518
<i>Never before have I asked you</i>
<i>in this way.</i>

601
00:57:06,256 --> 00:57:07,918
<i> He's in trouble.</i>

602
00:57:12,589 --> 00:57:14,496
(picks up keys)

603
00:57:19,632 --> 00:57:22,328
(rock music playing quietly)

604
00:57:30,509 --> 00:57:33,377
(distant footsteps)

605
00:57:33,512 --> 00:57:35,077
(distant door opens)

606
00:57:37,219 --> 00:57:38,916
(distant door closes)

607
00:58:11,285 --> 00:58:13,181
(door opens)

608
00:58:38,072 --> 00:58:40,714
(clock ticking quietly)

609
00:58:53,460 --> 00:58:56,224
(rustling nearby)

610
00:58:58,300 --> 00:59:00,162
RAY: You leaving?

611
00:59:07,874 --> 00:59:10,546
Accommodation not good enough
for you?

612
00:59:19,585 --> 00:59:22,521
When you legged it,

613
00:59:22,657 --> 00:59:24,520
every day, Nessa wrote to you.

614
00:59:24,655 --> 00:59:26,518
How long was it?

615
00:59:28,193 --> 00:59:30,765
When you went limping off
into the woods,

616
00:59:30,900 --> 00:59:34,262
she didn't want to interfere
with your decision.

617
00:59:36,497 --> 00:59:38,163
For a couple of years,
we thought

618
00:59:38,298 --> 00:59:40,103
you'd just turn up one day.

619
00:59:41,172 --> 00:59:43,673
She had no idea
if you got her letters,

620
00:59:43,809 --> 00:59:45,647
let alone if you read them.

621
00:59:48,781 --> 00:59:50,784
You knew she were pregnant.

622
00:59:52,114 --> 00:59:53,919
You never answered her once.

623
01:00:01,357 --> 01:00:03,456
You've been going
through my things?

624
01:00:08,563 --> 01:00:12,300
Fuck off back to Toytown,
you fucking ape.

625
01:00:13,500 --> 01:00:16,905
Got my girl, got my son,
got my life.

626
01:00:17,041 --> 01:00:19,247
What more do you fucking want?

627
01:00:19,383 --> 01:00:21,512
It was you that left. You.

628
01:00:21,648 --> 01:00:24,275
Get over yourself, lad.

629
01:00:24,411 --> 01:00:27,486
It's not about you. Fact.

630
01:00:27,621 --> 01:00:29,018
It's about Brian.

631
01:00:29,154 --> 01:00:32,254
Poor only child
of a deranged fugitive.

632
01:00:33,797 --> 01:00:35,296
Didn't you want to give him
some brothers

633
01:00:35,432 --> 01:00:36,830
and sisters to play with?

634
01:00:39,227 --> 01:00:41,965
You're a big lump of a lad.

635
01:00:42,101 --> 01:00:44,134
Don't tell me
you were firing blanks.

636
01:00:48,436 --> 01:00:50,602
She prayed for you
every night, Ray.

637
01:00:52,073 --> 01:00:53,646
Still prays for you.

638
01:00:53,782 --> 01:00:56,176
Tell her to save
her fucking breath.

639
01:00:56,311 --> 01:00:58,619
And our dad prayed
for you, too,

640
01:00:58,755 --> 01:01:01,046
every day for the rest
of his life.

641
01:01:01,181 --> 01:01:03,323
Have you gone soft?

642
01:01:03,459 --> 01:01:05,659
That miserable bastard?

643
01:01:05,795 --> 01:01:09,157
Oh, he prayed.
He prayed, didn't he?

644
01:01:09,293 --> 01:01:11,027
Prayed every time
he took his belt off.

645
01:01:11,162 --> 01:01:12,691
Didn't he pray again
afterwards?

646
01:01:12,826 --> 01:01:14,797
Wet under the arms
from the efforts of his labor.

647
01:01:14,932 --> 01:01:16,595
Oh, he prayed regular.

648
01:01:17,965 --> 01:01:20,904
We learnt our violence from the
number one regional champion,

649
01:01:21,039 --> 01:01:23,245
and he had
some stiff competition.

650
01:01:23,380 --> 01:01:25,041
Who knows, maybe at the...

651
01:01:25,177 --> 01:01:28,975
the British Legion
dominoes championships,

652
01:01:29,111 --> 01:01:30,544
he's life and soul.

653
01:01:30,679 --> 01:01:33,048
Blazer, badge, regimental tie,
chest out front,

654
01:01:33,183 --> 01:01:34,948
just the long-range
desert patrol.

655
01:01:35,083 --> 01:01:36,316
Now, that were war.

656
01:01:36,451 --> 01:01:37,958
Sand for breakfast,
lunch and dinner.

657
01:01:38,094 --> 01:01:39,988
If Rommel didn't get you,
the flies surely would.

658
01:01:40,124 --> 01:01:41,787
He didn't talk like that.

659
01:01:41,923 --> 01:01:43,894
That's right, he didn't
fucking talk at all, did he?

660
01:01:44,029 --> 01:01:45,392
I've had plenty of fucking time

661
01:01:45,528 --> 01:01:47,901
to fill in the fucking silence
for him.

662
01:01:49,135 --> 01:01:51,168
What do you want from me,
brother?

663
01:01:52,742 --> 01:01:54,537
You'd know
if you read the letter.

664
01:01:54,673 --> 01:01:57,343
I've read the fucking letter.
I've read the fucking letter.

665
01:01:57,479 --> 01:01:58,939
What the fuck?

666
01:01:59,074 --> 01:02:01,112
What do you want?

667
01:02:02,077 --> 01:02:04,544
(breathing heavily)

668
01:02:12,958 --> 01:02:15,060
I'm beyond your reach, Jem.

669
01:02:16,456 --> 01:02:17,860
I'm well beyond her reach.

670
01:02:17,996 --> 01:02:19,561
There'll be no epiphany.

671
01:02:19,697 --> 01:02:23,563
So fuck off back to your
little family and sort it out.

672
01:02:25,171 --> 01:02:26,641
You don't want me
to leave, Ray.

673
01:02:26,777 --> 01:02:28,269
Why in God's name
did you let that boy

674
01:02:28,404 --> 01:02:29,976
join army
in the first fucking place?

675
01:02:30,111 --> 01:02:32,042
This is nowt to do with me.
This is on you, mate.

676
01:02:32,177 --> 01:02:35,113
Look,
though I've raised the boy,

677
01:02:35,249 --> 01:02:37,218
do you think he's not
a pigheaded little bastard

678
01:02:37,353 --> 01:02:38,719
like you are?

679
01:02:38,855 --> 01:02:40,881
-(chuckles)
-It were nowt to do with me.

680
01:02:41,016 --> 01:02:43,288
I said my piece.

681
01:02:43,423 --> 01:02:46,453
I didn't think he should do it,
follow in our footsteps.

682
01:02:46,589 --> 01:02:49,523
I thought he were just
chasing after...

683
01:02:51,430 --> 01:02:54,636
Anyway, regardless of what
I think or don't think,

684
01:02:54,771 --> 01:02:56,830
do you honestly believe
that your son

685
01:02:56,966 --> 01:02:59,437
wouldn't do a thing just 'cause
somebody told him not to?

686
01:02:59,572 --> 01:03:01,634
♪ ♪

687
01:03:21,792 --> 01:03:25,262
JEM:<i> Look, he's currently</i>
<i> absent without leave.</i>

688
01:03:26,498 --> 01:03:28,860
And as much as they like him,
you know as well as I do

689
01:03:28,995 --> 01:03:32,434
there's no warm, fuzzy feeling
in the MOD.

690
01:03:34,640 --> 01:03:37,208
There's only so long
they'll turn a blind eye.

691
01:03:38,407 --> 01:03:41,443
Maybe a week, if we're lucky.

692
01:03:42,785 --> 01:03:45,077
And then the MPs
will come knocking

693
01:03:45,213 --> 01:03:46,921
and take him away.

694
01:03:48,383 --> 01:03:50,353
But that's the least of it.

695
01:03:51,961 --> 01:03:55,687
I've seen my share
of lost souls, Ray,

696
01:03:55,822 --> 01:03:59,231
and at this moment,
your son is in the dark.

697
01:03:59,367 --> 01:04:02,499
Believer or nonbeliever,
there are forces at work.

698
01:04:02,635 --> 01:04:04,070
Fact.

699
01:04:06,133 --> 01:04:07,843
(sighs)

700
01:04:09,176 --> 01:04:10,940
I don't want anything
from you, Ray.

701
01:04:11,076 --> 01:04:12,947
I-I don't want anything.

702
01:04:15,248 --> 01:04:19,118
Nessa... Nessa believes
that if you met him

703
01:04:19,253 --> 01:04:22,316
and talked to him,
gave him some answers,

704
01:04:22,451 --> 01:04:23,852
it just might make
a difference.

705
01:04:23,987 --> 01:04:25,520
It might.

706
01:04:27,957 --> 01:04:30,030
♪ ♪

707
01:04:31,460 --> 01:04:33,363
JEM:<i> Before it's too late.</i>

708
01:04:43,975 --> 01:04:45,639
(pulls chain switch)

709
01:04:49,177 --> 01:04:51,150
(wood creaking)

710
01:04:53,214 --> 01:04:55,418
(footsteps)

711
01:05:02,827 --> 01:05:05,032
(creaking)

712
01:05:09,666 --> 01:05:13,040
Brian savaged this lad.
He fucking savaged him.

713
01:05:14,701 --> 01:05:16,410
He's convinced himself if...

714
01:05:16,545 --> 01:05:19,013
if they hadn't pulled him off,
he'd have killed him.

715
01:05:20,678 --> 01:05:23,083
And this has been following
Brian since primary school.

716
01:05:23,218 --> 01:05:25,850
"Your father's this,
your father's that."

717
01:05:25,986 --> 01:05:27,784
"He's in the nuthouse."

718
01:05:27,920 --> 01:05:29,925
"Is he banged up?"

719
01:05:31,223 --> 01:05:34,127
The invisible man, Ray Stoker.

720
01:05:40,436 --> 01:05:42,403
Please.

721
01:05:42,538 --> 01:05:44,738
Just tell me.

722
01:05:44,874 --> 01:05:46,437
If you're not gonna help out,

723
01:05:46,572 --> 01:05:48,870
then I'm gonna get out of here
double-time.

724
01:05:49,005 --> 01:05:51,078
♪ ♪

725
01:06:05,659 --> 01:06:07,523
(sighs)

726
01:06:15,065 --> 01:06:16,437
I fancy a bevvy.

727
01:06:16,572 --> 01:06:18,633
(quiet chatter)

728
01:06:25,041 --> 01:06:27,444
NESSA: He's still conscious?
That's-that's good.

729
01:06:29,780 --> 01:06:31,711
Could you just ask the children
to move out of the way?

730
01:06:31,846 --> 01:06:34,682
We don't want them
seeing this, do we?

731
01:06:34,817 --> 01:06:38,718
A blanket on...
Yeah, a blanket on him is fine.

732
01:06:38,853 --> 01:06:40,458
WOMAN (over phone):
And, uh, do I move him?

733
01:06:40,593 --> 01:06:42,688
-No, do not move him.
-WOMAN: But he's in the way.

734
01:06:42,823 --> 01:06:44,632
I repeat that,
do not move him, madam.

735
01:06:44,768 --> 01:06:47,201
And do not remove his helmet.

736
01:06:47,336 --> 01:06:49,331
-You're doing so well.
-(woman sobbing over phone)

737
01:06:49,467 --> 01:06:51,534
I know there's a lot of blood.

738
01:07:21,329 --> 01:07:24,199
(footsteps)

739
01:07:24,335 --> 01:07:26,404
(bell clanging in distance)

740
01:07:41,081 --> 01:07:42,690
SHEILA: Why, he were
all over me at that stage,

741
01:07:42,825 --> 01:07:44,389
like a bloody octopus.

742
01:07:44,524 --> 01:07:46,124
And I were, like, whipping
my head back and forth,

743
01:07:46,260 --> 01:07:47,995
just trying to catch
a clean breath.

744
01:07:48,131 --> 01:07:50,030
But he must have thought
I was in ecstasy,

745
01:07:50,165 --> 01:07:51,930
'cause that minging
wet gob of his

746
01:07:52,065 --> 01:07:53,762
just kept reaching for me.

747
01:07:53,897 --> 01:07:56,604
Oh, my... He wasn't gonna
back down, but...

748
01:07:56,739 --> 01:07:58,697
I'm not lying.

749
01:07:58,832 --> 01:08:01,733
His breath smelt like shit,
Nessa.

750
01:08:01,869 --> 01:08:03,738
(chuckling):
Have you ever had that?

751
01:08:04,671 --> 01:08:06,741
(wind whistling softly)

752
01:08:21,564 --> 01:08:23,230
Thank you.

753
01:08:25,158 --> 01:08:27,135
(video game music playing
in background)

754
01:08:28,863 --> 01:08:30,868
-Here you are.
-Cheers, mate.

755
01:08:31,003 --> 01:08:33,131
(coins clinking)

756
01:08:33,266 --> 01:08:36,105
And here's some crisps.
I know you like them.

757
01:08:36,240 --> 01:08:38,078
Cheese and onion.

758
01:08:38,213 --> 01:08:39,581
This thing's
out of juice, mate.

759
01:08:39,716 --> 01:08:41,913
I won't be long.

760
01:08:42,048 --> 01:08:43,745
Won't be long.

761
01:08:55,391 --> 01:08:57,297
(sighs softly)

762
01:09:06,071 --> 01:09:08,176
(phone ringing)

763
01:09:10,272 --> 01:09:12,345
♪ ♪

764
01:09:35,737 --> 01:09:37,799
♪ ♪

765
01:09:57,660 --> 01:09:59,722
♪ ♪

766
01:10:13,208 --> 01:10:14,973
NESSA:<i> He's beautiful, kind,</i>

767
01:10:15,108 --> 01:10:16,740
<i> funny, loyal.</i>

768
01:10:16,875 --> 01:10:19,043
<i> He's so like you</i>
<i> in so many ways.</i>

769
01:10:19,178 --> 01:10:20,347
<i> Funny that, eh?</i>

770
01:10:21,775 --> 01:10:24,643
<i> Anyway, I implore you,</i>

771
01:10:24,778 --> 01:10:28,079
<i> for the sake of Brian,</i>

772
01:10:28,214 --> 01:10:31,259
<i>to please, please come home</i>
<i>and talk to him.</i>

773
01:10:38,899 --> 01:10:40,961
♪ ♪

774
01:10:49,836 --> 01:10:51,907
<i>Let him meet you at least.</i>

775
01:10:52,043 --> 01:10:54,979
<i> And maybe, just maybe</i>
<i> he can move forward</i>

776
01:10:55,114 --> 01:10:59,816
<i> and let go of whatever demon</i>
<i> anger is holding him so tight.</i>

777
01:10:59,951 --> 01:11:03,988
<i> I pray you are well</i>
<i> and see fit to answer.</i>

778
01:11:04,124 --> 01:11:06,057
<i> God bless.</i>

779
01:11:06,193 --> 01:11:08,156
<i> Love always, Nessa.</i>

780
01:11:08,291 --> 01:11:10,397
♪ ♪

781
01:11:21,744 --> 01:11:23,806
♪ ♪

782
01:11:48,804 --> 01:11:51,702
("Teenage Lust" by The Jesus
and Mary Chain playing quietly)

783
01:11:58,738 --> 01:12:00,348
(Jem exhales)

784
01:12:03,610 --> 01:12:04,847
What?

785
01:12:08,956 --> 01:12:10,281
What?

786
01:12:13,061 --> 01:12:14,956
What? What the fuck?

787
01:12:16,789 --> 01:12:18,764
Spitting image.

788
01:12:18,900 --> 01:12:20,361
What?

789
01:12:20,496 --> 01:12:21,935
Spitting image.

790
01:12:22,070 --> 01:12:23,767
Spitting image? Who?

791
01:12:26,570 --> 01:12:29,337
-(chuckling)
-Fuck off.

792
01:12:29,472 --> 01:12:31,803
Fuck right off.

793
01:12:31,939 --> 01:12:33,715
Our father who art in heaven?

794
01:12:33,850 --> 01:12:35,647
Fuck off.

795
01:12:41,256 --> 01:12:43,457
(laughing): Suppose I am a bit.

796
01:12:45,152 --> 01:12:48,154
Suppose I am
a bit of a sad old bugger.

797
01:12:54,996 --> 01:12:57,097
He been doing all right,
were he?

798
01:12:58,504 --> 01:13:00,232
-Who?
-The boy.

799
01:13:00,368 --> 01:13:05,204
"The boy," Brian,
is doing well, very well.

800
01:13:06,316 --> 01:13:08,839
They think
he's a real prospect.

801
01:13:08,975 --> 01:13:10,218
Can't help himself.

802
01:13:10,353 --> 01:13:13,010
The other lads
just fall in behind him.

803
01:13:13,146 --> 01:13:14,820
-That right?
-(chuckles): Yeah.

804
01:13:16,056 --> 01:13:18,755
You remember what it's like
when you're cold and hungry,

805
01:13:18,891 --> 01:13:20,358
you haven't slept
in three nights.

806
01:13:20,493 --> 01:13:22,357
It's every man for himself.

807
01:13:22,492 --> 01:13:24,322
With Brian...

808
01:13:24,457 --> 01:13:26,497
(exhales sharply)
he's got strength to spare.

809
01:13:26,632 --> 01:13:28,326
He may be at the end
of his rope,

810
01:13:28,461 --> 01:13:31,237
but he's still looking out
for the others.

811
01:13:31,372 --> 01:13:33,507
And they pay attention to that.

812
01:13:38,244 --> 01:13:40,210
(Jem exhales)

813
01:13:40,345 --> 01:13:41,746
RAY: Hmm.

814
01:13:52,389 --> 01:13:57,623
When you did selection and, uh,
were badged into the regiment,

815
01:13:57,758 --> 01:13:59,731
I was so proud.

816
01:14:02,095 --> 01:14:04,895
And I was so fucking envious.

817
01:14:05,031 --> 01:14:07,898
I thought, "I want that.

818
01:14:08,033 --> 01:14:10,071
I want some of that."

819
01:14:11,247 --> 01:14:14,480
Suppose volunteering for 14 Int

820
01:14:14,616 --> 01:14:17,650
were a way of getting closer,
you know.

821
01:14:21,715 --> 01:14:24,149
The training at Bradbury Lines
with your lads and all,

822
01:14:24,284 --> 01:14:29,222
I thought it were
within reach, but...

823
01:14:41,768 --> 01:14:43,401
(sniffs)

824
01:14:47,144 --> 01:14:49,275
Weren't 'cause of me
that he signed up.

825
01:14:54,817 --> 01:14:56,381
'Cause of you.

826
01:15:01,425 --> 01:15:05,629
Even with all the shit that
he put up with over the years,

827
01:15:05,764 --> 01:15:08,162
it was some idea he had,
it were...

828
01:15:09,639 --> 01:15:11,330
It was the space
where you should've been

829
01:15:11,466 --> 01:15:14,575
that he was chasing after,
that he was fascinated by.

830
01:15:17,140 --> 01:15:19,305
Now he's frightened
of his own shadow.

831
01:15:23,419 --> 01:15:24,981
He doesn't know who you are.

832
01:15:26,783 --> 01:15:29,624
Knows nothing about you.

833
01:15:29,759 --> 01:15:32,793
Except for the old stories
when we were youngsters.

834
01:15:32,928 --> 01:15:37,623
You know, the short fuse,
street fights, vandalism.

835
01:15:37,759 --> 01:15:40,634
(chuckling): You and me both,
we were both liabilities then.

836
01:15:41,665 --> 01:15:42,900
But now he, uh...

837
01:15:44,266 --> 01:15:46,198
I don't know,
he looks at his hands

838
01:15:46,334 --> 01:15:50,206
as though they belong
to somebody else.

839
01:15:50,342 --> 01:15:51,909
What?

840
01:15:58,011 --> 01:16:00,016
Rumors, mate. Rumors.

841
01:16:03,185 --> 01:16:04,390
Until you tell me
what happened,

842
01:16:04,525 --> 01:16:05,890
that's all we've got.

843
01:16:11,365 --> 01:16:13,425
(insects trilling)

844
01:16:27,082 --> 01:16:29,177
♪ ♪

845
01:16:54,109 --> 01:16:56,171
♪ ♪

846
01:17:13,062 --> 01:17:15,124
♪ ♪

847
01:17:35,117 --> 01:17:37,146
♪ ♪

848
01:17:46,987 --> 01:17:49,092
(birds chirping)

849
01:17:58,935 --> 01:18:00,906
(Nessa breathing deeply)

850
01:18:06,810 --> 01:18:09,211
(door creaks open)

851
01:18:10,681 --> 01:18:12,753
(door closes)

852
01:18:25,359 --> 01:18:27,967
(Nessa takes
deep, shaky breath)

853
01:18:28,102 --> 01:18:30,060
NESSA: I realize I've never
properly spoken to you

854
01:18:30,196 --> 01:18:31,904
about your father.

855
01:18:33,136 --> 01:18:35,809
And that was
a fault in me, Brian.

856
01:18:38,707 --> 01:18:41,813
Me and Jem thought we could
make a nice life for you,

857
01:18:41,948 --> 01:18:44,750
and-and I think
in some ways we have.

858
01:18:44,886 --> 01:18:48,914
But it can't have been easy
for you...

859
01:18:49,049 --> 01:18:50,821
all these years.

860
01:18:50,957 --> 01:18:53,656
You know, it looming
over everything.

861
01:18:53,791 --> 01:18:55,859
Every family dinner.

862
01:18:55,994 --> 01:18:57,627
Every birthday,
every Christmas,

863
01:18:57,763 --> 01:18:59,734
every special occasion.

864
01:19:02,905 --> 01:19:07,599
And I suppose, by not talking
to you about it...

865
01:19:11,044 --> 01:19:15,409
...it were my way
of protecting you from it.

866
01:19:32,098 --> 01:19:34,059
How much do you know
about the early Troubles

867
01:19:34,194 --> 01:19:36,100
in Northern Ireland?

868
01:19:38,339 --> 01:19:40,401
♪ ♪

869
01:19:56,720 --> 01:19:58,793
♪ ♪

870
01:20:01,728 --> 01:20:04,529
(radio static crackling)

871
01:20:04,664 --> 01:20:06,160
(thunder crashes)

872
01:20:06,295 --> 01:20:08,693
(frantic, distorted
radio chatter)

873
01:20:11,497 --> 01:20:14,607
(radio chatter intensifies)

874
01:20:14,743 --> 01:20:16,437
(radio chatter stops abruptly)

875
01:20:29,491 --> 01:20:31,584
(wind howling)

876
01:20:39,435 --> 01:20:42,001
(thunder rumbling)

877
01:20:54,648 --> 01:20:57,214
(thunder rumbling)

878
01:21:17,740 --> 01:21:19,764
We'll sleep outside tonight.

879
01:21:31,181 --> 01:21:33,217
NESSA: I lost him in stages.

880
01:21:35,788 --> 01:21:37,815
I lost him in stages.

881
01:21:39,821 --> 01:21:41,893
After the first few tours
in Northern Ireland,

882
01:21:42,029 --> 01:21:44,889
he were already
quite hard to reach.

883
01:21:45,024 --> 01:21:47,426
And then when he volunteered
for some special assignment,

884
01:21:47,562 --> 01:21:49,233
the minute he raised
his hand, he...

885
01:21:49,368 --> 01:21:51,763
he seemed to disappear
into another world.

886
01:21:53,009 --> 01:21:55,035
Oh, but it wasn't just that.
He wanted it.

887
01:21:55,170 --> 01:21:57,439
He were alive, eager.

888
01:22:01,213 --> 01:22:03,951
He said goodbye
well before he left.

889
01:22:04,086 --> 01:22:05,919
And when he came back,
you couldn't reach him.

890
01:22:06,054 --> 01:22:07,781
You'd be sat at kitchen table
with him,

891
01:22:07,917 --> 01:22:10,320
and he'd be looking at you
like you were at the other side

892
01:22:10,456 --> 01:22:12,960
of a football pitch
and you're an acquaintance,

893
01:22:13,095 --> 01:22:15,054
you know, maybe, and he were
trying to figure out

894
01:22:15,189 --> 01:22:16,821
who you were.

895
01:22:19,559 --> 01:22:22,298
I were pregnant with you.

896
01:22:22,434 --> 01:22:24,132
And I were getting bigger
by the day,

897
01:22:24,268 --> 01:22:26,402
and he seemed to be shrinking.

898
01:22:26,537 --> 01:22:28,774
I-I... (scoffs) I felt
like a big lumbering giant

899
01:22:28,909 --> 01:22:30,473
living with a miniature person,

900
01:22:30,609 --> 01:22:32,980
afraid I were going
to crush him underfoot, but...

901
01:22:37,050 --> 01:22:39,986
Then one day he were gone,
and I...

902
01:22:40,122 --> 01:22:42,289
realized I'd been waiting
for it.

903
01:22:42,424 --> 01:22:44,657
♪ ♪

904
01:22:44,793 --> 01:22:46,884
(thunder rumbling softly)

905
01:22:51,233 --> 01:22:54,229
Ray never spoke to me
about what happened over there.

906
01:22:54,364 --> 01:22:56,226
I tried to get
in touch with a...

907
01:22:56,361 --> 01:22:58,500
you know, a few of the lads
that he served with, you know,

908
01:22:58,635 --> 01:23:01,007
that were with him,
but they said nothing.

909
01:23:01,142 --> 01:23:02,633
They were on a warning
from the MOD.

910
01:23:02,768 --> 01:23:04,177
They must have been
on a warning.

911
01:23:04,312 --> 01:23:07,311
So all I have is
what I'm telling you now.

912
01:23:08,748 --> 01:23:10,180
But I knew Ray.

913
01:23:10,315 --> 01:23:13,053
I knew Ray better
than I knew myself.

914
01:23:13,189 --> 01:23:16,955
And as I said, those lads,
they couldn't say owt.

915
01:23:17,090 --> 01:23:18,826
(sighs)
But I tell you this much--

916
01:23:18,961 --> 01:23:20,953
they loved him
and they respected him.

917
01:23:21,089 --> 01:23:24,328
And they never gave me... never
gave me one hint of a reason

918
01:23:24,464 --> 01:23:26,858
that he'd done something
he should be ashamed of.

919
01:23:29,438 --> 01:23:31,500
♪ ♪

920
01:23:35,206 --> 01:23:37,011
But he left us, didn't he?

921
01:23:39,009 --> 01:23:40,476
He left us.

922
01:23:42,141 --> 01:23:44,645
What's that, Mum?
Something to be proud of?

923
01:23:48,415 --> 01:23:50,156
Why'd he leave?

924
01:23:51,288 --> 01:23:53,489
Huh? Why did he leave us?

925
01:23:57,158 --> 01:23:59,231
♪ ♪

926
01:24:19,180 --> 01:24:21,253
♪ ♪

927
01:24:41,202 --> 01:24:43,275
♪ ♪

928
01:25:03,224 --> 01:25:05,297
♪ ♪

929
01:25:33,762 --> 01:25:35,822
(wind howling softly)

930
01:25:51,041 --> 01:25:52,806
War crime.

931
01:25:58,715 --> 01:26:01,287
That's what he called it--
a war crime.

932
01:26:05,453 --> 01:26:07,623
Fucking war crime me?

933
01:26:08,788 --> 01:26:11,121
The war were the fucking crime.

934
01:26:13,431 --> 01:26:15,697
And we were
the phantom soldiers.

935
01:26:23,040 --> 01:26:27,340
Our mission on this one were
surveillance, pure and simple.

936
01:26:27,476 --> 01:26:29,075
We dug in at nighttime.

937
01:26:29,211 --> 01:26:30,912
Two OPs.

938
01:26:31,047 --> 01:26:33,886
Ours were in a hedgerow at
the end of an unpaved laneway

939
01:26:34,022 --> 01:26:36,389
bordering the farm buildings.

940
01:26:36,524 --> 01:26:38,390
The structure of interest
were the milking shed

941
01:26:38,525 --> 01:26:42,395
no more than 30, 40 feet
from us across the yard.

942
01:26:42,530 --> 01:26:45,496
On a tip-off, we'd scouted it
a few nights before.

943
01:26:47,498 --> 01:26:49,830
They arrived
shortly after sunup.

944
01:26:51,131 --> 01:26:53,703
The bomb maker were a player
well-known to us.

945
01:26:53,838 --> 01:26:56,540
The young lad with him,
we'd never seen him before.

946
01:26:59,047 --> 01:27:01,477
Our intel was solid, but...

947
01:27:01,612 --> 01:27:03,407
for two days,
there were no movement.

948
01:27:03,542 --> 01:27:05,517
We started to wonder if they'd
somehow slipped away,

949
01:27:05,652 --> 01:27:08,155
if there were a...
a tunnel or concealed entrance

950
01:27:08,290 --> 01:27:10,488
we'd missed
when we recced the building.

951
01:27:11,856 --> 01:27:15,394
I was just writing up my report
when the bomb went off.

952
01:27:22,670 --> 01:27:26,273
The explosion was so loud
you couldn't hear it.

953
01:27:28,539 --> 01:27:30,568
The concussive force
ran through

954
01:27:30,704 --> 01:27:32,368
every cell of your body.

955
01:27:32,504 --> 01:27:36,374
Filled you up, like there were
nothing left of you.

956
01:27:36,510 --> 01:27:38,318
Just chaos.

957
01:27:39,915 --> 01:27:41,781
The entire roof lifted
off the shed

958
01:27:41,917 --> 01:27:44,915
on a cloud of black smoke,
like a cartoon.

959
01:27:45,050 --> 01:27:47,753
Walls swelled outwards,
opened up.

960
01:27:47,888 --> 01:27:50,022
Debris started
to rain down on us.

961
01:27:50,158 --> 01:27:52,558
"Are we being attacked?
Do they know we're here?

962
01:27:52,694 --> 01:27:54,193
Are they getting rid of it?"

963
01:27:54,328 --> 01:27:56,126
They'd do that sometimes.
You know how it were.

964
01:27:56,261 --> 01:27:57,765
If they... they thought
you were onto them,

965
01:27:57,901 --> 01:28:00,472
they'd detonate the ordnance
and scarper.

966
01:28:00,607 --> 01:28:05,702
And we were waiting
for the incoming, but so far,

967
01:28:05,837 --> 01:28:07,776
there were nothing.

968
01:28:11,280 --> 01:28:14,079
Then there were just the sound
of this fella screaming.

969
01:28:18,758 --> 01:28:21,019
Like I said, we were on
surveillance, nothing more.

970
01:28:21,155 --> 01:28:23,020
We weren't equipped
for anything serious.

971
01:28:23,156 --> 01:28:27,027
Sidearms only,
couple of longs between us.

972
01:28:27,162 --> 01:28:29,432
When that Semtex went off,
we should've called it in,

973
01:28:29,567 --> 01:28:31,765
hand it over to your lads,
but...

974
01:28:31,901 --> 01:28:34,303
(chuckling):
I don't know why, but...

975
01:28:34,439 --> 01:28:36,700
for some reason, we moved in.

976
01:28:36,835 --> 01:28:38,807
Advance to contact.

977
01:28:40,472 --> 01:28:43,343
I suppose it were a
"ride to the sound of the guns"

978
01:28:43,478 --> 01:28:44,845
type of madness.

979
01:28:44,980 --> 01:28:46,948
We started to crawl
toward the milking shed.

980
01:28:47,083 --> 01:28:49,753
Could've been weapons
trained on us, snipers.

981
01:28:49,889 --> 01:28:51,583
Could've been another bomb
waiting in the building.

982
01:28:51,718 --> 01:28:53,320
We didn't know.

983
01:28:53,455 --> 01:28:55,527
(birds calling)

984
01:28:57,260 --> 01:29:01,031
So we're crawling, heads down,
getting closer, getting closer.

985
01:29:01,166 --> 01:29:02,831
All we could...

986
01:29:05,471 --> 01:29:07,836
The only sound
were the screaming.

987
01:29:09,610 --> 01:29:11,472
Obviously, we wanted to get
one of them alive,

988
01:29:11,608 --> 01:29:13,776
if we could, get him to talk.

989
01:29:16,680 --> 01:29:18,283
It were that smoky
in the building

990
01:29:18,419 --> 01:29:20,651
you could barely see
in front of you.

991
01:29:20,786 --> 01:29:22,846
Well, it turned out
it were just the two of them,

992
01:29:22,981 --> 01:29:25,554
master and apprentice.

993
01:29:25,689 --> 01:29:27,158
And the player
must have been stood

994
01:29:27,294 --> 01:29:28,753
between the bomb and the kid.

995
01:29:28,889 --> 01:29:30,760
There were nowt left of him.

996
01:29:31,826 --> 01:29:33,257
Except his fucking teeth,

997
01:29:33,392 --> 01:29:35,930
buried in the side
of the young fella's head.

998
01:29:37,868 --> 01:29:40,407
Heard it were his nephew
a few days later.

999
01:29:42,401 --> 01:29:45,742
And I must have slipped
when we went in on some...

1000
01:29:45,878 --> 01:29:49,779
piece of him, because I were
covered in, you know...

1001
01:29:49,915 --> 01:29:53,882
When I picked myself up,
I were covered in his slime.

1002
01:29:58,050 --> 01:29:59,816
The kid were on the ground.

1003
01:29:59,951 --> 01:30:03,322
Bits of him were...

1004
01:30:03,457 --> 01:30:08,100
He were alive, just about,
but bits of him were missing.

1005
01:30:08,236 --> 01:30:09,765
His innards were spilled out,

1006
01:30:09,901 --> 01:30:12,032
and he were crying out
for his mother.

1007
01:30:14,073 --> 01:30:17,169
Bomb maker's teeth buried
in the side of his head.

1008
01:30:19,313 --> 01:30:20,744
I was stood right over him.

1009
01:30:20,879 --> 01:30:24,148
Our three lads clearing
the room left and right.

1010
01:30:24,284 --> 01:30:26,386
I'm stood over him.

1011
01:30:26,521 --> 01:30:29,585
He were dying, this kid, Jem.
He were dying.

1012
01:30:29,720 --> 01:30:31,887
I could see the fear
in his eyes.

1013
01:30:32,951 --> 01:30:35,226
The fucking hatred.

1014
01:30:35,362 --> 01:30:38,125
He looked at me with hatred.

1015
01:30:38,260 --> 01:30:40,825
Couldn't have been
more than 16 or 17 years old.

1016
01:30:40,960 --> 01:30:43,498
Younger than Brian is now.

1017
01:30:43,633 --> 01:30:45,439
He's screaming at me.

1018
01:30:48,143 --> 01:30:50,800
Begging me to shoot him.

1019
01:30:50,936 --> 01:30:52,512
So I shot him.

1020
01:31:05,720 --> 01:31:07,251
He were dying?

1021
01:31:07,387 --> 01:31:09,320
Yes, Jem, he were
fucking dying. He fucking...

1022
01:31:09,455 --> 01:31:11,393
I didn't fucking kill him.
He killed himself.

1023
01:31:11,529 --> 01:31:13,322
Fucking killed himself.

1024
01:31:13,458 --> 01:31:15,397
I just nudged him
across the line.

1025
01:31:15,533 --> 01:31:16,997
Fucking little bastard.

1026
01:31:17,133 --> 01:31:19,130
Where were they gonna
put that bomb? In a pub?

1027
01:31:19,265 --> 01:31:21,004
In a shopping center?
In a nightclub?

1028
01:31:21,140 --> 01:31:22,800
Guaranteed, there'd be
innocent people blown to bits.

1029
01:31:22,935 --> 01:31:24,267
How fucking merciful.

1030
01:31:24,402 --> 01:31:25,772
Turns out they just
killed themselves.

1031
01:31:25,908 --> 01:31:27,546
And I'm the fucking murderer?

1032
01:31:27,682 --> 01:31:30,517
I wish... I wish
I had left him to die.

1033
01:31:33,350 --> 01:31:36,148
I wish I'd left him to
his full measure of suffering.

1034
01:31:36,284 --> 01:31:37,783
Lying there with his guts
spilled out,

1035
01:31:37,918 --> 01:31:39,049
crying for his mother.

1036
01:31:39,184 --> 01:31:41,118
I should've left him there.

1037
01:31:41,254 --> 01:31:43,122
Should've called an ambulance.

1038
01:31:43,258 --> 01:31:45,455
Told 'em to take
the scenic route.

1039
01:31:47,801 --> 01:31:50,563
I'm not fucking making out
I did him a favor,

1040
01:31:50,699 --> 01:31:52,061
but I fucking did.

1041
01:31:52,197 --> 01:31:54,198
He were begging me to do it.

1042
01:31:54,333 --> 01:31:56,570
17 years old,
shivering on the ground,

1043
01:31:56,706 --> 01:31:58,776
and I finished him off.

1044
01:32:00,579 --> 01:32:02,549
Just to stop the screaming.

1045
01:32:13,828 --> 01:32:15,725
And that's it.
That's all there were.

1046
01:32:15,861 --> 01:32:18,464
Yeah, listen,
of course they... lads knew.

1047
01:32:18,600 --> 01:32:21,134
The lads... lads knew
what I'd done.

1048
01:32:21,270 --> 01:32:22,829
They didn't question it.

1049
01:32:22,965 --> 01:32:24,327
They knew this fella were gone

1050
01:32:24,463 --> 01:32:26,306
and no one would get
anything out of him.

1051
01:32:26,441 --> 01:32:27,735
By the time
we got him anywhere,

1052
01:32:27,871 --> 01:32:29,266
he-he wouldn't have survived.

1053
01:32:29,402 --> 01:32:31,677
No one said a word.
No one questioned it.

1054
01:32:33,741 --> 01:32:35,846
(birds calling)

1055
01:32:38,516 --> 01:32:39,883
No one said a word.

1056
01:32:42,219 --> 01:32:45,016
But I called it into South Det
operations room.

1057
01:32:45,152 --> 01:32:46,857
That stage, our job were done.

1058
01:32:46,993 --> 01:32:49,761
Handed over, went back
to barracks, had the debrief.

1059
01:32:49,896 --> 01:32:51,595
That boy's injuries--
didn't occur to me

1060
01:32:51,731 --> 01:32:53,963
any questions would be asked,
but...

1061
01:32:56,195 --> 01:32:58,303
They were all in a twist.

1062
01:32:58,439 --> 01:33:00,871
The Ruperts, the higher-ups.

1063
01:33:02,803 --> 01:33:05,838
So, after...

1064
01:33:05,974 --> 01:33:07,737
the CO had me in his office.

1065
01:33:07,873 --> 01:33:09,847
Uh...

1066
01:33:11,409 --> 01:33:13,887
I could tell
he were under stress.

1067
01:33:14,022 --> 01:33:17,415
His whole fat head looked like
a boil that needed lancing.

1068
01:33:18,924 --> 01:33:20,955
"By all the rules
of lawful engagement,

1069
01:33:21,091 --> 01:33:23,394
that's a war crime,
Sergeant Stoker."

1070
01:33:23,529 --> 01:33:25,055
Oh, hello. Here we go.

1071
01:33:25,191 --> 01:33:26,629
He's looking hard at me.

1072
01:33:26,765 --> 01:33:29,597
"We need to make this go away.

1073
01:33:29,733 --> 01:33:31,765
"He presented a threat.

1074
01:33:31,900 --> 01:33:34,069
He raised his weapon."

1075
01:33:38,106 --> 01:33:41,010
"No, he fucking didn't, sir."

1076
01:33:45,117 --> 01:33:49,084
I shouted in his face,
"No, he fucking didn't."

1077
01:33:55,830 --> 01:33:58,093
(voice shaking):
"His arms were shredded."

1078
01:34:03,638 --> 01:34:05,403
(crying):
I said, "I want to get out."

1079
01:34:05,539 --> 01:34:07,136
He-he said, "You can't."

1080
01:34:07,272 --> 01:34:10,138
He said, "Pull yourself
together and don't be thick.

1081
01:34:10,273 --> 01:34:12,301
"Take a couple of days,
see the head doctor,

1082
01:34:12,437 --> 01:34:14,975
"you'll be right as rain.

1083
01:34:15,110 --> 01:34:17,341
We'll make this go away." So...

1084
01:34:17,477 --> 01:34:19,781
I'm stood in front...
front of him,

1085
01:34:19,917 --> 01:34:21,620
hot tears squirting out of me.

1086
01:34:21,756 --> 01:34:23,587
If you'd asked me
what my name were,

1087
01:34:23,722 --> 01:34:25,322
I wouldn't have known.

1088
01:34:25,457 --> 01:34:27,485
(sobbing)

1089
01:34:30,758 --> 01:34:32,794
So I...

1090
01:34:32,929 --> 01:34:35,692
I took a couple of days, but...

1091
01:34:35,827 --> 01:34:37,870
it-it weren't that long
for the shrink to see

1092
01:34:38,006 --> 01:34:42,706
there were a crack in the ice
that wouldn't heal over.

1093
01:34:42,841 --> 01:34:44,542
I were...
I were, as he put it...

1094
01:34:44,678 --> 01:34:47,681
-Hey.
-...an unstable element.

1095
01:34:49,016 --> 01:34:51,880
Danger to myself and others,
which, in our line of work,

1096
01:34:52,015 --> 01:34:53,581
meant generally bad
for business.

1097
01:34:53,716 --> 01:34:55,049
Time to go home.

1098
01:34:55,185 --> 01:34:58,825
So he declared me unfit,
"return to unit."

1099
01:34:58,960 --> 01:35:02,058
Signed me out, put me
on a plane back to my regiment.

1100
01:35:03,796 --> 01:35:05,524
Short while later,
I find myself

1101
01:35:05,660 --> 01:35:08,728
on the streets of Sheffield,
staring at my old front door.

1102
01:35:08,863 --> 01:35:10,695
A civilian...

1103
01:35:10,831 --> 01:35:12,530
and a...

1104
01:35:15,535 --> 01:35:20,208
...a dirty little s-secret
war criminal.

1105
01:35:21,807 --> 01:35:25,415
Yeah, well, I were coming up
15 years' service,

1106
01:35:25,550 --> 01:35:27,347
due out anyway.

1107
01:35:28,618 --> 01:35:30,383
(sighs)

1108
01:35:36,696 --> 01:35:39,059
Could you have saved him?

1109
01:35:39,195 --> 01:35:42,601
I did save him, Jem.
I did save him.

1110
01:35:42,736 --> 01:35:45,236
Saved him from
more fucking pain.

1111
01:35:45,371 --> 01:35:47,970
I'd have enjoyed watching him
suffer a little bit longer,

1112
01:35:48,106 --> 01:35:50,744
so I did save him--
saved him from that.

1113
01:35:55,879 --> 01:35:57,707
Why did you shoot him?

1114
01:35:59,048 --> 01:36:01,249
Could we have kept him alive?

1115
01:36:05,060 --> 01:36:07,852
(sniffles) At the t-time,
I knew we couldn't.

1116
01:36:07,988 --> 01:36:09,862
At the time.

1117
01:36:12,192 --> 01:36:14,067
(sighing): At the time.

1118
01:36:14,202 --> 01:36:16,264
♪ ♪

1119
01:36:19,000 --> 01:36:21,137
(takes deep breath)

1120
01:36:29,449 --> 01:36:31,543
(quietly): Hey.

1121
01:36:35,051 --> 01:36:37,087
We've all done things.

1122
01:36:38,890 --> 01:36:40,353
We've all done things, Ray.

1123
01:36:40,489 --> 01:36:43,258
I don't need
your fucking absolution, Jem.

1124
01:36:44,731 --> 01:36:46,963
Maybe I could've saved him.

1125
01:36:47,098 --> 01:36:48,626
Maybe I couldn't
have saved him.

1126
01:36:48,761 --> 01:36:51,001
Maybe I enjoyed killing him.
Maybe I didn't.

1127
01:36:51,137 --> 01:36:53,772
Maybe I pitied him.
Maybe I fucking hated him.

1128
01:36:53,908 --> 01:36:56,601
I don't know, Jem.
I don't know.

1129
01:36:58,275 --> 01:37:00,946
But I don't need
your fucking absolution.

1130
01:37:02,280 --> 01:37:05,650
I did the crime.
I'm still serving the time.

1131
01:37:05,785 --> 01:37:08,448
I don't owe nowt to nobody.

1132
01:37:09,547 --> 01:37:12,424
I don't owe nowt to nobody.

1133
01:37:12,559 --> 01:37:14,586
Least of all to you.

1134
01:37:15,495 --> 01:37:17,427
(sighs heavily)

1135
01:37:17,562 --> 01:37:19,029
(chuckles)

1136
01:37:19,165 --> 01:37:21,960
How many fucking Hail Marys
do I get for that?

1137
01:37:22,096 --> 01:37:24,464
(wind howling)

1138
01:37:26,606 --> 01:37:28,471
(footsteps receding)

1139
01:37:28,606 --> 01:37:30,668
♪ ♪

1140
01:37:50,661 --> 01:37:52,690
♪ ♪

1141
01:38:12,683 --> 01:38:14,712
♪ ♪

1142
01:38:34,705 --> 01:38:36,734
♪ ♪

1143
01:38:46,612 --> 01:38:49,447
NESSA:
And he goes silent, morose.

1144
01:38:49,582 --> 01:38:51,881
His eyes searching
for the exit.

1145
01:38:53,953 --> 01:38:55,962
Well, there were rumors,
as you only know too well,

1146
01:38:56,097 --> 01:38:58,591
that he'd lost his mind
over there, that...

1147
01:38:58,727 --> 01:39:00,725
you know, he'd...
he'd gone psycho,

1148
01:39:00,860 --> 01:39:03,101
that he'd been involved
in some bad things.

1149
01:39:03,237 --> 01:39:05,763
Even that he'd murdered
an unarmed civilian.

1150
01:39:06,706 --> 01:39:08,268
Oh, and the shame.

1151
01:39:08,404 --> 01:39:10,800
The shame of it
seemed to crush him.

1152
01:39:10,936 --> 01:39:13,903
I mean, regardless
of what happened, the shame.

1153
01:39:15,610 --> 01:39:16,946
It's hard to imagine that,
you know,

1154
01:39:17,082 --> 01:39:18,445
what shame can do to a person.

1155
01:39:18,580 --> 01:39:20,386
He was a very proud man,
your father, Brian.

1156
01:39:20,522 --> 01:39:22,453
He was very proud.

1157
01:39:22,588 --> 01:39:23,919
Proud?

1158
01:39:24,054 --> 01:39:26,259
You don't understand.

1159
01:39:26,394 --> 01:39:28,651
-He put his heart and soul
into soldiering.
-Proud?

1160
01:39:28,786 --> 01:39:30,419
Just like your dad,
Jem, you know?

1161
01:39:30,555 --> 01:39:32,161
Listen to yourself, Mum.

1162
01:39:32,297 --> 01:39:34,057
So... so to take that away
from somebody,

1163
01:39:34,193 --> 01:39:37,103
to take it away from him,
it's like taking his name away.

1164
01:39:37,238 --> 01:39:39,105
How can you be so fucking
reasonable about it?

1165
01:39:39,240 --> 01:39:41,975
Oh, I wasn't reasonable
about it at the time.

1166
01:39:43,310 --> 01:39:44,834
You know, and if it...
if it wasn't for knowing

1167
01:39:44,970 --> 01:39:46,711
that there was a baby
on the way, and if it...

1168
01:39:46,847 --> 01:39:49,838
if it wasn't for you...

1169
01:39:49,974 --> 01:39:52,150
I don't know
what I would've done.

1170
01:39:59,956 --> 01:40:02,218
So, yeah.

1171
01:40:02,354 --> 01:40:04,727
He left us.

1172
01:40:04,862 --> 01:40:06,692
I'm sorry.

1173
01:40:11,504 --> 01:40:13,901
And is that what you think,
or is that what you know?

1174
01:40:14,036 --> 01:40:15,503
(Brian sniffles)

1175
01:40:18,441 --> 01:40:20,505
'Cause this is
what I think, Mum.

1176
01:40:20,640 --> 01:40:23,383
I think he were
a fucking killer

1177
01:40:23,518 --> 01:40:25,546
and a coward.

1178
01:40:25,681 --> 01:40:27,983
Because only a weak,
cowardly person can walk away

1179
01:40:28,119 --> 01:40:30,188
from their family like that.

1180
01:40:32,985 --> 01:40:35,160
Don't talk about him.
You don't know him.

1181
01:40:35,296 --> 01:40:37,961
No, you're right.
I don't know him.

1182
01:40:38,096 --> 01:40:40,161
That's the problem, innit?

1183
01:40:40,297 --> 01:40:42,167
I don't fucking know him.

1184
01:40:44,095 --> 01:40:45,637
I know everything
I fucking need to know

1185
01:40:45,772 --> 01:40:48,239
about that bastard.

1186
01:40:50,740 --> 01:40:52,942
And that he's a big,
giant fucking sinkhole

1187
01:40:53,078 --> 01:40:55,180
in the middle of our lives.

1188
01:41:00,515 --> 01:41:03,113
Don't talk about him like that.

1189
01:41:03,249 --> 01:41:06,222
Don't talk about anybody
like that in my presence.

1190
01:41:06,357 --> 01:41:08,056
Least of all the man
who gave you life,

1191
01:41:08,192 --> 01:41:09,386
which is a blessed thing.

1192
01:41:09,521 --> 01:41:11,527
Blessed? Blessed?

1193
01:41:11,662 --> 01:41:13,632
Why does everything have to be
so fucking blessed

1194
01:41:13,767 --> 01:41:15,596
in this house, Mum?

1195
01:41:16,737 --> 01:41:18,500
You gave me life.

1196
01:41:19,532 --> 01:41:21,767
He gave me a fucking...

1197
01:41:24,844 --> 01:41:27,072
...fucking curse.

1198
01:41:27,207 --> 01:41:29,280
♪ ♪

1199
01:41:49,968 --> 01:41:51,764
JEM: All these years.

1200
01:41:53,939 --> 01:41:55,739
(thunder rumbling)

1201
01:41:55,874 --> 01:41:57,803
All these years.

1202
01:42:03,718 --> 01:42:05,745
(thunder rumbling)

1203
01:42:31,144 --> 01:42:33,575
"All these years,"
fucking what?

1204
01:42:36,883 --> 01:42:38,283
How did you...

1205
01:42:39,880 --> 01:42:43,013
The winters,
I mean, the isolation.

1206
01:42:44,989 --> 01:42:46,819
How did I what?

1207
01:42:53,264 --> 01:42:55,399
How did I manage without you?

1208
01:43:06,705 --> 01:43:08,506
It's not over, Jem.

1209
01:43:08,642 --> 01:43:11,144
You make it sound as if it...

1210
01:43:11,279 --> 01:43:13,142
I mean...

1211
01:43:14,722 --> 01:43:18,350
I won't pretend I don't think
about it from time to time,

1212
01:43:18,485 --> 01:43:20,824
but this is it, Jem.

1213
01:43:20,959 --> 01:43:22,723
This is my life.

1214
01:43:30,167 --> 01:43:31,963
Does it have to be?

1215
01:43:42,277 --> 01:43:44,981
"As for man,

1216
01:43:45,117 --> 01:43:49,078
"his days are as grass:

1217
01:43:49,213 --> 01:43:52,720
"as a flower of the field,
so it flourisheth.

1218
01:43:54,491 --> 01:43:57,190
"For the wind passeth over it,

1219
01:43:57,325 --> 01:44:00,860
"and it is gone;

1220
01:44:00,995 --> 01:44:04,061
and the place thereof
shall know it no more."

1221
01:44:08,876 --> 01:44:11,204
Et cetera, et cetera.

1222
01:44:11,340 --> 01:44:13,246
A-fucking-men.

1223
01:44:18,082 --> 01:44:19,615
Good night, Ray.

1224
01:44:29,891 --> 01:44:32,925
-(faint birdcalls)
-(wind whistling softly)

1225
01:44:40,435 --> 01:44:42,638
(heavy breathing)

1226
01:44:45,770 --> 01:44:47,940
(breath trembling)

1227
01:44:51,545 --> 01:44:53,616
(wind howling)

1228
01:45:35,325 --> 01:45:37,429
(footsteps sloshing)

1229
01:46:00,317 --> 01:46:02,883
(deep, raspy inhale)

1230
01:46:05,783 --> 01:46:09,318
(long exhale)

1231
01:46:12,833 --> 01:46:15,692
♪ ♪

1232
01:46:15,827 --> 01:46:18,330
(deep, raspy inhale)

1233
01:46:18,466 --> 01:46:19,999
RAY: Brian?

1234
01:46:21,799 --> 01:46:23,533
(long exhale)

1235
01:46:23,668 --> 01:46:25,268
Brian?

1236
01:46:31,184 --> 01:46:33,980
(quiet, raspy breathing)

1237
01:46:48,066 --> 01:46:50,827
♪ ♪

1238
01:46:50,963 --> 01:46:54,033
(muffled, echoing heartbeat)

1239
01:47:17,095 --> 01:47:19,157
♪ ♪

1240
01:47:20,893 --> 01:47:22,626
(music stops abruptly)

1241
01:47:22,761 --> 01:47:24,800
(wind whistling)

1242
01:47:28,207 --> 01:47:29,970
(breath trembling)

1243
01:47:41,912 --> 01:47:43,922
(birds chirping)

1244
01:47:44,058 --> 01:47:45,656
(sighs softly)

1245
01:47:47,722 --> 01:47:49,154
(dart strikes dartboard)

1246
01:47:58,468 --> 01:48:00,968
(thunder rumbling)

1247
01:48:05,277 --> 01:48:07,304
(grunting softly)

1248
01:48:19,460 --> 01:48:21,153
-(loud thud)
-(glass crackles)

1249
01:48:22,692 --> 01:48:24,728
(thunder continues rumbling)

1250
01:48:30,864 --> 01:48:32,868
-(loud thud)
-(gasps)

1251
01:48:36,475 --> 01:48:38,467
(breath trembling softly)

1252
01:48:53,951 --> 01:48:56,661
(rapid thudding)

1253
01:48:57,791 --> 01:48:59,796
(wind howling)

1254
01:49:08,638 --> 01:49:10,708
(wind continues howling)

1255
01:49:34,426 --> 01:49:36,364
(rapid thudding
and howling wind continue)

1256
01:49:36,499 --> 01:49:38,527
(phones ringing)

1257
01:49:56,080 --> 01:49:57,951
(car alarms blaring)

1258
01:49:58,087 --> 01:50:00,186
(rapid thudding
and howling wind continue)

1259
01:50:03,860 --> 01:50:06,023
(muffled, indistinct
radio chatter)

1260
01:50:06,159 --> 01:50:08,227
(car alarms continues blaring)

1261
01:50:16,540 --> 01:50:18,611
(wind howling)

1262
01:50:33,589 --> 01:50:35,661
(audio muted)

1263
01:50:39,634 --> 01:50:42,327
(rapid thudding
and howling wind resume)

1264
01:50:51,773 --> 01:50:53,844
(breathing heavily)

1265
01:50:56,744 --> 01:50:59,243
(no dialogue)

1266
01:50:59,379 --> 01:51:02,083
(rapid thudding
and howling wind continue)

1267
01:51:29,178 --> 01:51:31,882
(rapid thudding
and howling wind continue)

1268
01:51:49,166 --> 01:51:51,660
(rapid thudding
and howling wind stop abruptly)

1269
01:51:53,330 --> 01:51:55,400
(water trickling gently)

1270
01:52:05,308 --> 01:52:07,186
(wind moaning softly)

1271
01:52:07,321 --> 01:52:09,381
(distant birdcalls)

1272
01:52:12,754 --> 01:52:15,288
(birds chirping)

1273
01:52:45,019 --> 01:52:47,089
(water flowing gently)

1274
01:53:29,732 --> 01:53:31,166
(grunts softly)

1275
01:53:50,050 --> 01:53:52,253
(sniffling quietly)

1276
01:54:02,159 --> 01:54:04,265
(burbling)

1277
01:54:19,011 --> 01:54:21,084
♪ ♪

1278
01:54:39,497 --> 01:54:42,031
(leaves rustling in wind)

1279
01:54:42,166 --> 01:54:44,206
♪ ♪

1280
01:54:56,888 --> 01:54:58,990
(birds calling, chirping)

1281
01:55:07,225 --> 01:55:08,824
JEM: Hey.

1282
01:55:10,165 --> 01:55:11,697
I've got to get going.

1283
01:55:11,833 --> 01:55:12,938
(groans)

1284
01:55:15,072 --> 01:55:17,206
What are you doing?
Fucking hell.

1285
01:55:18,136 --> 01:55:21,210
(grunting)

1286
01:55:26,276 --> 01:55:27,579
(chuckles)

1287
01:55:28,952 --> 01:55:31,880
(grunting and groaning)

1288
01:55:44,367 --> 01:55:47,401
(grunting and groaning
continue)

1289
01:55:54,877 --> 01:55:55,942
(choking)

1290
01:55:56,077 --> 01:55:58,313
(strained grunting)

1291
01:55:59,343 --> 01:56:01,244
(choking)

1292
01:56:01,380 --> 01:56:03,417
(both breathing heavily)

1293
01:56:09,253 --> 01:56:12,063
(grunting)

1294
01:56:13,193 --> 01:56:15,968
(breathing heavily)

1295
01:56:31,947 --> 01:56:33,447
(grunts softly)

1296
01:56:36,423 --> 01:56:38,485
♪ ♪

1297
01:56:58,478 --> 01:57:00,507
♪ ♪

1298
01:57:18,960 --> 01:57:21,033
♪ ♪

1299
01:57:37,715 --> 01:57:39,777
♪ ♪

1300
01:57:56,701 --> 01:57:58,763
♪ ♪

1301
01:58:16,556 --> 01:58:18,618
♪ ♪

1302
01:58:36,874 --> 01:58:39,177
(no dialogue)

1303
01:58:46,377 --> 01:58:48,450
♪ ♪

1304
01:59:08,432 --> 01:59:10,472
♪ ♪

1305
01:59:25,449 --> 01:59:27,489
♪ ♪

1306
01:59:42,202 --> 01:59:44,308
♪ ♪

1307
02:00:12,364 --> 02:00:14,470
♪ ♪

1308
02:00:42,394 --> 02:00:44,467
♪ ♪

1309
02:01:00,412 --> 02:01:02,518
♪ ♪

1310
02:01:32,444 --> 02:01:34,517
♪ ♪

1311
02:02:04,476 --> 02:02:06,582
♪ ♪

1312
02:02:36,508 --> 02:02:38,581
♪ ♪

1313
02:03:08,540 --> 02:03:10,646
♪ ♪

1314
02:03:40,572 --> 02:03:42,645
♪ ♪

1315
02:04:12,604 --> 02:04:14,710
♪ ♪

1316
02:04:44,636 --> 02:04:46,709
♪ ♪

1317
02:05:16,668 --> 02:05:18,774
♪ ♪

1318
02:05:38,625 --> 02:05:40,697
(music fades)