(gentle dramatic music)
Why is this place so harsh do you think?
I don’t know.
This is my mother in law.
Let's call her “Anastazija”.
Unfortunately, Anastazija has been diagnosed with Broken Heart Syndrome.
(unsettling music)
Broken Heart Syndrome is also known by many other names,
including Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy,
Stress Cardiomyopathy,
and Gebrochenes-Herz Syndrome.
Broken Heart Syndrome gets its name from the shape of a Japanese "tako-tsubo" pot,
which is traditionally used to catch octopuses.
To understand Anastazija's heart condition better, her son, Goran,
who is also my husband, asked her some questions,
trying to understand the life events
that contributed to her cardiac emergency.
To begin, we travel back in time to a little town called Umka,
which is situated in Serbia.
I really doesn't know
where I am.
On the banks of the Sava River,
Anastazija's parents lived in a house where her mother, Ivana, fell pregnant.
This would be the couple's first child together.
Ivana’s pregnancy went somewhat according to plan,
despite the lack of medical care.
Anastasia was born in the river house
and life for the young family was looking promising.
Do you feel like you belong here?
No.
What was it like for you growing up?
(dramatic music)
Hard.
Can you tell us what happened to your mother?
I don’t know.
Never know.
Have you ever seen a photograph of your mother?
Never. No. No.
How old were you when your mother passed away?
Six weeks.
Six weeks old?
Yeah.
And did your father look after you after that time?
He say he does,
but I don’t know. I was little. I don't know.
What do you remember? Who looked after you when you were growing up?
I just remember I was to Grandpa and Grandma house,
I didn't remember anything before that.
So you didn't live with your father, did you?
No, but I'd been in the house when he was there
with the other woman and two kids.
So I’ve been there. I’ve been for lunch.
I’ve been playing with the other kids.
Father lived next door?
Yes!
Yeah. And he was at home, and he just.
And you lived with your mother's parents?
That's right.
They say to me, my father be punch me or something.
But he never does. He never raised voice or anything.
That was a lie.
And I was afraid of him!
But no was like that at all.
And when did you stop seeing your father?
When I was eleven.
Because he, he left Serbia. He gone.
You’re eleven years old?
Yes.
So you you lost your mother when you were pretty much born,
Where did he go?
He just run away from the Serbia because
he go to France and then from France to Canada, and that’s it.
But there was no communication?
No, because I never got a letter.
When I ask, everything was lie!
All secrets.
And you don't know why?
No.
I just searching all my life I never find out nothing.
Somebody knows something but doesn't...
(disturbing music)
Doesn't say anything. I don’t know.
I know all, all side of my father. Everything is not secret.
I know all of that.
But not on my mother's side.
First, how she died? I don’t know.
Nobody tells me. Everybody forget!
There was a coffin in metal because, like, some disease?
So it’s a sealed coffin, like literally could not open it.
Sealed! That’s right.
I feel horrible all the time.
When I heard it.
Because is...
Why not open to see who is in?
I always thinking all my life,
“Maybe she was not in?”
Because nobody see where she died.
Nobody was in the hospital.
Nobody knows nothing!
My father, the grandma and grandpa, I just blame them
because one of them must be all right in the brain to open.
And every one was doing with the aluminum and the cutting.
There was a them job.
So got it everything to cut and nobody knows?
Anastazija was finally reunited
with her father, George, thirty-nine years later.
He jumped in a plane from Canada where he lived
and flew directly to Australia to be with Anastasia.
Once he found out where she was.
So why doesn't your father have photographs of your mother?
When he was run away, whatever,
he got it bag, and he
he told me, I don't know is true,
And he was eating,
and somebody stole. They thought there was money or something in, and stole the bag.
One hand I believe is, because he said he brings our...
(gentle music)
You know like papers when we’re born or whatever is original and
now where I looking, I haven't got anything original.
So that means, maybe true?
And there was a pictures and everything
but when my father was here, when I asked for my mum.
I can see he likes her because he was crying.
So no reason to lie.
I don’t know.
So who do you think has affected you more?
Not having a father or not having a mother?
If I got a mother,
she probably teach me
what the father is and what the father doing
or whatever, you know, like you see together.
I think you miss the mother.
Because mother sometimes...
told you don't do that. Or don't say that or whatever.
But is just mother. I miss mother.
But probably I see the father. I know who his father.
I know the father.
I remember him when he left. In eleven years I got pictures.
And I know before I know he didn’t
do anything. He never raised the voice on me or anything.
He didn’t.
It was all lies, like he was tough.
Maybe he was tough with the
some other people, but not with the kids and the family.
I remember him.
Do you have peace with your father now?
Oh, I got it peace when he comes here. We was talk and I told him everything.
He apologized and he was crying because
he thinks I do like there, because I never tell him anything.
But I haven't got a choice to to say anything to anyone.
So he thinks I, I like it, but I didn't.
Do you ever dream about your mother? Do you ever visualize your mother?
I dreaming so many times the woman.
I dream she’s there. Some woman show me the...
(gentle music)
Chest. Where they bury in the room.
Coffin.
And I saw the coffin closed.
And I saw the woman on the back.
And was a like a door was standing.
And the woman just told me to stop
and she say,
“I'm just trapped here.”
And she point in that coffin.
And I believe her.
She’s sealed!
And no wonder she say she’s trapped!
And do you think that's your mum's coffin?
I think.
I see the the woman figure but never ever I can see the face.
And how old was your mother when she passed away?
Twenty-one, I think.
Do you feel like you trust people? Can you trust?
No. I’m not really trust people.
I no trust much people. No.
If you don't trust people,
do you trust,
for example,
religions?
No, I don't trust.
Before you can do whatever with me.
But now I just
no trust anyone
and I believe what I believe.
And I don't really care!
But I should be from beginning.
But...
still not late.
On end I can do whatever I want,
but it's no, I'm not trusting people.
Because people is changing mind just like that!
Just doesn't matter.
And why do you think people change their minds so quickly about stuff?
I don't know. How I know? I do same!
But I don't know why.
Sometimes
we just wants to do something, but you
didn't do it that one when you always thinking. You do different way.
When you human like that. How I know?
We all like that.
Given your background
and your history with your family and the way that it was,
do you think society is better now or has it changed?
Oh, yeah, now people can live really the life how they wants and
and enjoying the life and
it's just a freedom!
(exciting music)
Before you need to
listen bloody old woman what was a hundred years old thinks.
I didn't have the choice.
I can't go to any one so I can’t run anywhere.
I can’t do anything.
I didn't have money. I was young.
What I can do? Nothing.
I even tried to kill myself.
I just didn’t do it. I don't know, something like,
I don't know.
I don't know how I changed my mind, but I just changed my mind.
But it's not.
Are you glad you changed your mind?
(dramatic music)
Sometimes I do and sometimes I’m not.
I always think if I do would be better for my life.
But sometimes. Say, ah?
And do you think that if you did
end your life on purpose,
do you think that that's going
to do something later on spiritually for you?
No, no, nothing.
I never, never think about spiritual or anything.
It's just my, got enough with my life, that's all.
There's nothing really.
I didn't go further or anything is just, you know, like
you don't want to do something.
You know like if
if you don't want somebody see you,
you go in a bedroom and lock the door.
That's it.
Then nobody can see you.
But you didn't think anything else.
You just doesn't want see the person.
That's all.
But is no was anything
like a spiritual.
Only when I start dreaming.
I start dreaming long time ago, But I didn't take any notice.
Sometimes I just remember this and that.
But I remember all my dreams from before, all the back now
is really can tell me something,
I didn't, because I was busy to work,
to
Think about something or whatever, but is still here
and still I can
I feel like yesterday.
And even now when I dream something I can't remember,
but you ask me after
I tell you from A to Z
because they just come together.
And are those dreams to teach you something or to?
I don't know. I don't know.
But I just feel some dreams,
I just feel relaxed. I just feel like how I want to live
and doesn't want back!
And all the time I say, “I don't want back”,
but I'm just back.
(gentle music)
So?
Sometimes.
Before was always dream.
I don’t know. Was so many people didn't believe in whatever.
Devil. But I saw like,
you know, like we drawing the devil with the [horns].
Whatever. But he was not the devil to kill me or anything.
He just chasing me like a more, more like playing with me
and I was running and running until I stood in front of him.
And after that he disappeared. But he’s not
killing me or anything.
But I just doesn't want to be near.
And I was running, running all the time
and one time I said, “No.”
So I stop like that and he disappeared.
But I not was scared.
But is just got enough.
I no was scared in my life. I no was really scared like whatever,
but is just a...
I think I was stupid.
I
I just was polite to everyone, even if I see there was a stupid
doing to me and I say, “Yeah, it's okay, it doesn't matter.”
I just
go over and say do this one.
And I don’t want. Like a first example,
go to church or whatever is.
I didn't want really.
And I just go because there's some people say,
but after when I say, “No”,
I feel better because if I want to go, I go.
I'm not say tomorrow. Maybe I just think and I go.
I’m not say forever or something, but just that time you don't want it.
(gentle music)
But before I just doing even I don’t want
and I was so upset because I upset on me.
Everyone can see it is I am upset.
And I'm not that person.
I'm never person, how I am!
Everybody see me different.
But it's not me.
I can't change that.
Do hold a lot of guilt?
Yeah, yeah, I do.
Does someone make you feel like you should be guilty?
Yeah.
Nobody makes me.
I just
feel like.
Where I was working, all the time where I was working,
when I'm with the friends was outside
by myself or whatever,
the people always around me,
they always listen me. Always they call me to go with them
to be part of that things and whatever.
And I'm there, different.
When I come home,
I'm just complete, different person.
And on a work,
I don't know, I never got it trouble. Nobody fight with me.
Everyone. Everyone friends.
But when I'm home it's just different. I'm just
pushing everyone.
Did you want to talk about your heart and what happened to you and?
I don’t know much about heart.
I tell you honestly.
In the bus stop I was running.
And I remember the two women. There was one younger and one old woman.
And I was on this side and the bus coming,
and no was even my bus,
and I never go in that bus.
And she was waving and I say like that she can go,
because that was not my bus.
So she told him to stop.
He was waiting, that guy.
And I coming on the window and I say, “I'm going to Coles.”
And he say, “I stop for you.”
He stop for me, but he's usually not stopping there.
And I was sit.
And where we go just further little bit where is our twenty-four hours where I go now.
You know that pokie there, whatever is.
And it start just going like a knife and on the back.
And I was do like that and I just do it.
And the woman, that young one, she was opposite and she look at me and she say,
“What's wrong with you?”
I say, “I don't know.” And anyway, I just start it.
And I start burp. And she say, “Driver stop!
She got it heart attack!”
She say that.
And after he just go on the side and he stop
and he get me out
and I go outside on the steps
and is vomiting
and I couldn’t come in back.
So he got his jacket and his bag and he put in there on the front,
my head and his jacket underneath because there was,
you know, like dirt there on the steps.
And I lay there and after get up again to vomit.
I vomiting. You couldn’t believe it!
So like buckets.
And anyway,
(dramatic music)
they call ambulance straight away and ambulance
talk to him and after he was,
because I just was like that and I was I feel like in my dream.
I just want was really light.
And I want to go and go and he, he just
he say to me in the hospital when he comes, and he say,
“I was doing like that. I don't know what to do.
Because call you, whatever, you just go!”
You know like “no”. But he say he was scared I was dead.
But after, you know when he was really shaking me and calling me,
and I
hear and I open my eyes and now again, he say three times, was.
But the last time I said, “Just leave me to go.”
He say, “No!”
(laughing)
And I remember,
but I remember even when I was going I didn't see lights or anything.
Just a light.
I was light, you know, not heavy,
but so beautiful. No pain, no nothing it’s just
beautiful and I wants to, but I
I feel he was just.
He give me his water because they say there to put in water.
He opened his bottle.
I can feel it the water
water in my mouth.
I remember I didn’t fell yet and
hospital say probably ask if I got it AIDS.
No AIDS, the Covid.
And
and
I just heard three of them,
“Not bloody Covid!”
Three of three of them in the same voice.
“Not bloody Covid.
Is a heart attack.
Better hurry up!”
Was it a heart attack or was it something else?
There was a “broken heart”.
That's very unusual, “Broken Heart.”
Because they ask me. Ask me all the time questions there.
Did I’m, I got someone
before in the family of the Asian people?
Because that's a Asian
and umm, Asian and what’s is name?
Indian disease.
They got it Asian people all the time.
The doctor told me. And I can see now in the movies.
All the time the woman leaving or something whatever is.
Got it broken heart.
When did you come to Australia?
Nineteen.
When you were nineteen?
Yeah.
And he says up to nineteen you don’t know nothing anyway.
But yeah.
But I say, “I don’t know anyone.”
He say “broken heart”.
When that nurses when they come in,
one was Indian and one was Asian.
And she say, “The four years you not really recover.”
And it's true.
It's a four years.
How long has it been now?
And now it starts second year.
Just a one month [over].
She say it's gone but you you not recover.
But sometimes it is coming bad.
Sometimes it's just disappear.
So I ask, I asked the, that
other one was she was she was four years no working
because she says she couldn't work because some days she can't
do anything.
But four years, she say now I’m
I'm not she say, I'm not hundred percent.
But I can, you know, work like now, whatever is.
She not lifting there.
She not lifting. The other nurses and so she just do like whatever.
But the Asian say, “Never trust.”
She say so many people,
in their country, you never trust. You just fell.
Or some sleep or some
just gone!
And do you know, did they tell you why it happens?
Doctor told me, that old one.
He say, “You must be got long time some stress.”
(gentle upbeat music)
Someone you love or something
and you, you can't go over
something like that. You know, like your heart is
whatever do.
And sometimes, he say, if somebody died,
you know like not died long time or whatever but
you know like now somebody died and you are really...
Grief.
Grieve.
They got it because so many people on the
graveyard like that. Especially mothers. They just gone!
And I say,
“Yeah, no was happy in my life but?”
He just say, “This doesn't matter. It’s not from the one day.”
I was thinking.
He say, “How was your childhood?”
I said, “Not too great!”
Broken Heart Syndrome comes in five main types,
according to many clinical websites.
Apical type, the most common, affecting over 80% of cases.
It impacts the lower half of the heart.
Mid ventricular type
affects the middle section of the heart's lower chambers.
Basal type.
This is rare, affecting only about 2% of cases,
and it impacts the area higher up in the heart
Focal type, the rarest form making up about one percent of cases.
It involves a small bulging area with the opposite side of the heart curving inward.
Biventricular type.
This is a rare form of broken heart syndrome, where both
ventricles of the heart exhibit
uneven movement
and it requires more invasive treatment.
Anastazija also had a massive blood clot in her heart,
and that made her condition just a little bit more complicated.
Do you feel like you're on the edge of getting more problems?
Or are you just now?
No, I not think about my heart.
I know when my heart is sore. I know different
sore.
I don't know,
really,
if I believe in miracle or not believe or?
I'm confused, actually.
But what I see or what I feel, I just.
Something is there, but I can't explain.
Last week I was so sick two days.
I was praying to go.
It's just got enough!
And I was dreaming that I was in the light somewhere.
(gentle music)
I see the hands of that yellow stuff, whatever was.
And after that
my heart was so sore and I wake up.
But after that, I feel
better.
You know like somebody was doing, I don't know, whatever.
Massaging it?
Massage! I don't know what they doing.
Healing me or I don't know.
And
after that
next day I also was somewhere.
Wherever.
No lights but was somewhere I was happy, whatever there,
hugging me and all of that.
I see the hands hug
and I always got it pain around, and I, when I, before I wake.
When I wake, it was pain all around. You know like now pain everywhere.
So I was doing like that and I go to toilet and then back and
after I sleep on the morning,
no pain.
It's just,
you see like a today is no pain is just a breathe.
You know like. But when I got it pain, I got it pain.
And I don't know.
Somebody doing something? I don’t know.
When I sleep sometimes I can feel someone.
But is not I scared, it is just I don't know.
Do you believe in other forms of life, like alien sort of stuff?
I know they exist.
I believe in the aliens is here.
I believe they got it and everything.
But I don't believe like
if I died or something, they do.
But I know they are
they are with us.
They do something, but not.
It's a separate thing?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And are you afraid at all?
To die? No.
I like better die than I am in a pain.
If you see something like I need to whatever,
just take off that shit.
Don't let me to be...
(intense music)
and a just take off.
Don't be guilty because I wants like that.
Or if you see I can’t be walk or talk or anything, and I want do something,
just let me go.
Recovery from Broken Heart Syndrome is quite complicated,
and it always involves addressing both the physical
and the psychological aspects.
Some common sense and practical approaches to help patients
during their recovery and to reduce the risk of reoccurrence include:
To attend any follow up appointments that your cardiologist has recommended
because they’re going to help monitor heart function
and ensure your proper recovery.
Always take your prescribed medication
as directed by your healthcare provider.
And some of the medications may include
Beta Blockers, ACE inhibitors, or even diuretics.
Eating a healthy diet is vital to the recovery of Broken Heart Syndrome.
You want to choose lots of fresh fruits and vegetables,
lean proteins, and whole grains.
And of course, you want to avoid saturated fats,
alcohol, smoking,
lots of salt and processed sugars as well.
Exercise is also an important part of recovery.
Now you don't want to go hardcore. You want to listen to the instructions
that your healthcare practitioner has given you.
And it probably involves only moderate exercise.
So things like walking,
gentle swimming. Just things that have a gentle effect on your heart.
They will be good for you because they will help to keep the blood flowing,
and they can help your recovery as well.
Psychologically,
recovery always involves stress management practices.
Now this involves meditation, mindfulness, gentle yoga.
Meditation. Anything that helps to calm the nervous system
will be very valuable in this situation.
I don't believe is real.
Everything is
like a fake!
Is this conversation, you sitting on this couch,
does this seem fake to you?
No.
Because I talk to you. I know who you are.
And I loves you and I talk. And I told you what I feel.
But probably I do to the psychiatrist or whatever.
But if there's some other stupid one next to me, what I doesn't like,
I never say that. I’d be just...
Just say something what he likes.
Yeah, because is. You can't tell the same things,
everything the people same thing,
because we are all different.
So someone is just wants you to hear
because for a fun. Someone wants to make the joke with you. Someone
Someone really wants to hear it.
So you need to know and judge which person you can talk.
But some people is like that. They just.
Just you need to do whatever you say.
Is not.
(intense dramatic music)
Are you on any medications for your mind?
No, I'm not on any medication. Just Advil and my pump.
Nothing. No, I haven't got medication.
And how do you feel about,
like you mentioned psychiatrist before. Did you have any success?
I've been before.
What do you think about them?
When I talk to him, because that psychiatrist I like it.
Him. That psychiatrist.
He got a problem at home,
so sometimes he's a,
you know, like a nervous or whatever.
And I can see that, because
that big cup of the coffee and he drinking all the time.
He smoking like a chimney.
We was smoking like a chimney.
And he say, “I need to do that
and I am psychiatrist and I can't help myself.
Because if
you got it problem with your own, that's a different.”
Because you know, you you can't change it.
I didn't go to cure or something, you know like
I was free to talk and we talk.
You know he talks about him and you talk about and
you know like like I talk with you.
So you go more relax,
more emptier or whatever how I go.
And I feel all right.
Then after next Tuesday, I go again.
He say, “Just your childhood is build up.”
So do you think if your circumstances were different in life
you'd be a different person?
I am, I know now,
I know all the time, I am different person.
But you never see your mum!
Because somehow something
stop me!
But you never see me real.
I am different. I'm caring.
I
I like people. I like
whatever. But I also I can judge the people.
And everyone say I'm rude. I’m not.
Because I don't.
I can see the person and I don’t...
don’t...
feel with the person. That’s all.
How old were you when you got married?
Fourteen.
Fourteen?
That's right.
You got married?
Yes!
How old were you when you had your first child?
Seventeen. Because I didn’t have that time kids.
Three years.
Where I was in the hospital first where take my blood test,
Where I was pregnant.
And there was one doctor, young one there in hospital in Beograd.
And he say to me, “I know you're pregnant.
Can you run with me?”
Oh?
Yeah.
And I say, “No, where? Where I run?”
Yeah, innocence.
He say, “I know you pregnant, but I want the child. Doesn’t matter.
Just run with me.” And I said, “No, no.”
And he was look after me really, really good there.
Probably they they knew the family was [crazy].
I thinks, yeah.
I just thinks now because there was [crazy].
But the young one, actually, that not was young one, I mean was a [man].
But he he actually say, “I know you pregnant, you can run with me.”
I say, “Where I run?”
And I should!
Do you feel like you belong in the other place that you dream about?
And do you visually see these people or is it just light in the other place?
When I’m sleep, I see the people. I am with that people.
And I feel
happy.
And it's nobody you knew before? No one here that's over there?
No, but no.
Just like was before together. That’s all.
(dramatic music)
If you had to live your life again,
would you do it differently?
Yes.
I do what I wants
all the time.
Do you feel like you didn't have as much power as you could have had?
That's right.
That's not my choice of living.
So would you come back onto Earth?
I just wish now I never come back.
But if come back, I don't want this life.
And how do you feel about being a woman on Earth?
It's okay. It’s just. It’s okay.
It's okay. But just to do
what you feel what you like, what you
appreciate or whatever is.
Not like
whatever. Lost chook.
Lost chook.
That’s it.
Because somebody else do for you from
when you born what you need to do and how you even can die.
So that's not good.
What's the most important lesson do you think you've had so far
on Earth?
For me,
because I should be more stronger.
But I didn't.
Just the family how you grow up.
And how you.
You were stupid. That's all. For stupid!
Because
everyone can say “no” or something like that, but I just
didn’t think enough!
Consider seeing a psychologist or a counselor to address any emotional issues
and to develop coping strategies.
Cognitive behavioral therapy, also known as CBT,
has been shown as very effective in this situation.
Support systems are also really important for recovery,
so be sure to stay connected with family and friends
because there also going to provide you with a level of emotional support.
Now I just want to point out that this is by no means medical advice
that is tailored to you.
So it is important that you see your own health care practitioner
to get advice that supports your specific situation.
Go somewhere. I don’t know where.
But
the people say “Heaven”. So I don’t know.
In the Light!
(gentle music)
(music fades away)