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[epic music playing]

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Have you ever looked around
at the limitless majesty of creation

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and wondered...

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wondered what all these forests, valleys,
mountains, and puddles are actually for?

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Wondered how many buildings
were knocked down to make way for them,

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and who granted the planning permission?

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Wondered about all the incredible
yet musky animals

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we share our planet with?

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What's up with them?

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From pointless ants

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to long-necked horse monsters,

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from repugnant wombats

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to beautiful elephants.

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What do the creatures want?

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And why do they refuse to tell us?

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<i>And then of course, there's us.</i>

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<i>Humanic kind.</i>

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<i>Have you ever wondered how we got here?</i>

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<i>Wondered where we're going?</i>

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Wondered about the biggest mystery of all,

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what is the meaning of life?

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Well, I haven't.

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But others have.

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For thousands of years,

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thinkers, artists, authors,
and my aunt Carol

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have struggled
to define humankind's purpose.

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Is life's meaning a riddle
that even can be answered?

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And if so, should we listen,

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or cover our ears to avoid spoilers?

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<i>In this landmark documentary special,</i>

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<i>I'll travel the globe</i>

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<i>to walk in slow motion
through picturesque locations,</i>

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<i>get up close to some of the most
significant molecules in existence,</i>

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<i>and meet a variety of academics,
experts, and professional mammals,</i>

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to ask some of the most
significant questions

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you can say with a mouth.

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Hello, who are you?

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I'm Brian Cox,

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Professor of Particle Physics
at the University of Manchester.

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Can I call you Brian,
or do you prefer Cox?

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<i>So join me, Philomena Cunk,</i>

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<i>as I uncover the point of it all.</i>

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This is <i>Cunk on Life</i>.

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[epic music playing]

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{\an8}[music ends]

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[contemplative music playing]

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[Philomena] <i>Welcome to our universe,</i>

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<i>a limitless expanse peppered with stars,
planets, and assorted space muck.</i>

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It's where you live.

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In fact, you're somewhere in this photo,

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but we don't know where
because the universe is so vast,

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we simply can't make you out,
even with your ears.

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Gazing into this infinite tapestry
makes us ask questions.

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Not just about where the ceiling's gone,

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but deep questions that strike
at the very core of our arseholes.

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Questions like, "How did it get here?"

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Who are you?

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{\an8}I'm Douglas Hedley,

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{\an8}and I teach the Philosophy of Religion
at the University of Cambridge.

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So, why are we here?

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You mean, why human beings exist?

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No, I mean why are we here in...

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- Is this near your house or something?
- No.

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It took me 90 minutes
to get here on the Piccadilly Line.

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<i>There are countless theories
about how the universe got here,</i>

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<i>and the earliest one
comes from the wacky world of religion.</i>

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This is the good Old Testament,

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the first entry
in the Christian Cinematic Universe.

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Jesus isn't in this one.

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It's mainly about his bad-tempered dad,

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a man so mysterious,

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we still only know him
by his stage name, God.

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{\an8}Um, I'm gonna go
straight in at the deep end.

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{\an8}Is there a God?

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{\an8}Yes.

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- Oh. That was quick.
- Mm.

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Great. Um, has anyone proved it?

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No, except to their own satisfaction.

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Does God have a brother called Simon?

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No.

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But they can't prove that either,
so he might have.

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The universe could have
been created by Simon.

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<i>The Old Testament claims God
and/or Simon created our universe</i>

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<i>in just seven days.</i>

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It sounds like a lot to achieve
in such a short space of time,

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but unlike us,

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God wasn't constantly interrupted
by iPhone notifications.

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God started by saying,
"Let there be light,"

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which makes sense because he needed
to be able to see what he was doing.

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Then he divided light from dark,
like I do when I'm doing a clothes wash.

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Next, he created the firmament,
whatever that is,

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and the oceans and the stars.

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For his next trick,

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God filled the oceans with water animals,
or "fish" as they're sometimes known,

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and the heavens with sky-beasts,
or "birds."

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Then he infested the Earth
with insects, reptiles, mammals,

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and whatever category of thing slugs are.

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And finally, for his crowning achievement,

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he created perhaps the only thing
worth celebrating,

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us.

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<i>Here on the planet of Italy
is the Sistine Chapel.</i>

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<i>Inside it is
an astonishing collection of images</i>

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<i>created by overachieving painter decorator
Michael A.N. Jello.</i>

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<i>This artwork took him four years
to complete,</i>

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<i>ruining a perfectly good ceiling
in the process.</i>

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But whatever you think of it,
what it depicts is momentous.

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The moment God created life
by jizzing us out of his hands.

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This image of the most significant
fingerbang in history

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has inspired visitors
to the Sistine Chapel for many centuries

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and visitors to this replica
for less time than that.

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It's perhaps
the greatest masterpiece in all of art,

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but also the most annoying to look at.

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When I gaze up at it,
I'm struck by a sense of wonder

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but mainly by a crick in my neck.

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{\an8}When Michelangelo painted
the Sistine Chapel,

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did he start on the floor
and then they flip the building over,

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or was it always on the ceiling?

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The painting was always on the ceiling.

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It's quite high up, isn't it?

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Did Michelangelo use a really long brush,

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or did he have really long arms?

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Um, well, he had to stand up
on top of some scaffolding

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and bend his head backwards.

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Wouldn't paint drip down into his eyes
when he was doing it?

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I bet he was blinking the whole time,
sort of like... like that.

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He doesn't complain about that,
but he must have done.

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However he did it,

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painting the Sistine Chapel
must have been a great upper body workout.

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How strong were Michelangelo's arms?

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Like, if a mad priest had leapt
on his back while he was painting it,

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would he have been able
to reach around and pull him off?

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Oh yeah. I think so.

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I think Michelangelo was quite muscular.
He must have been.

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- Mm, so he could really yank him off.
- I think he could have done, yeah.

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[Philomena] <i>The man
God's creating here is called Adam.</i>

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<i>He's one half
of the first celebrity couple,</i>

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<i>Adam and Eve,</i>

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<i>played here by actors
who happily signed a nudity waiver.</i>

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Of course, the real Adam and Eve

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wouldn't have had tattoos
we'd have to paint over

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or intimate piercings
we'd have to ask them to take out

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and hand to our researcher
for safekeeping.

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We've pixelated
the offensive parts of their bodies,

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a technology that wasn't available
in Old Testament times,

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which is why I can see everything,

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even though I don't really want to.

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Adam and Eve
weren't just the first humans to exist,

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but the first humans
to disappoint their dad.

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God had hidden the secret of knowledge
inside a delicious looking fruit

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and then forbidden them to eat it
for some fucking reason,

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but eat it they did.

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An early example of an Apple product
hastening the downfall of humankind.

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This was the original sin,

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and ever since,
all humans have been considered sinful.

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Sinners worry God might punish them,
but what about you?

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Well, um, I'm a sinner

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like anybody else.

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No, I mean, should they worry
about you punishing them?

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Uh... no.

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[Philomena] <i>God realized he needed help
keeping us sinful humans in check,</i>

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<i>and he knew just who to call on.</i>

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This is holy Moses,

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the most successful influencer
of Old Testament times,

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very much the MrBeast of his day.

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One day, God invited Moses
to the top of Mount Sinai

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and handed him a set of rules for life
carved on stone tablets.

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It was the world's first
and heaviest press release.

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God commanded Moses
to spread this message far and wide,

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which must've been annoying for Moses

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because he'd have to carry
the tablets back down on foot

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and probably didn't have room
in his rucksack.

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{\an8}How many Ten Commandments were there?

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How many? You just named them. Ten.

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So there were ten Ten Commandments?

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There weren't 100 commandments.
There were ten commandments.

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There were ten commandments.

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Yes. That's it.

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These shalts and shalt nots are a set
of terms and conditions for humankind.

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All Christians had to agree
to abide by them

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and also accept
occasional promotional messages from God

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on subjects that may interest them.

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How did God manage to boil his terms
and conditions down to just ten points

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when the iPhone end user license agreement
is about 100 pages long?

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It just proves the point that God is God,
so he's a lot more concise than we are.

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Is it a legally binding contract?

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It is a covenant, which is a covenant
of love between God and God's people, so--

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No, I meant the iPhone one.

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<i>In a bid to stay in God's good books,</i>

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<i>devout followers avoid sinful pleasures,
like lusting after sloths,</i>

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00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,360
<i>during their lifetimes.</i>

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00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,399
Not everyone thinks
enjoying yourself is bad.

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00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:05,919
Some people dedicate their lives
to hedonism,

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00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:07,640
the sleaziest ism there is,

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00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:09,160
apart from jism.

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00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:15,079
<i>Entire cities have been built
for hedonist pursuits,</i>

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00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:18,639
<i>impressive, opulent cities
like Swansea in Wales,</i>

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00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:19,960
<i>and also this place.</i>

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00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:22,519
<i>This is Las Vegas,</i>

199
00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:24,999
<i>Spanish for "The Vegas."</i>

200
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:29,119
With its culture of casinos, strip clubs,
and round-the-clock drinking,

201
00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:32,159
it's a mecca for people
who aren't going to Mecca.

202
00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:36,159
<i>Vegas is a shimmering visual metaphor
for human indulgence,</i>

203
00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:37,559
<i>according to our director,</i>

204
00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:40,599
<i>and too far away and expensive
for us to film in,</i>

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00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:43,520
<i>according to our producer,
who lost the argument.</i>

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00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:47,879
Given its reputation,

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00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:50,839
Las Vegas is also known as Sin City,

208
00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:53,239
which is short for Cincinnati,

209
00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:56,160
or would be, if that wasn't
a different place altogether.

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00:10:56,680 --> 00:10:59,319
<i>Many of the tourists
who flock here each year hope</i>

211
00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:02,440
<i>that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.</i>

212
00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:04,039
<i>Maybe that's true.</i>

213
00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:06,919
But on the other hand,
God sees everything,

214
00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:10,080
even that thing my ex Sean
used to do with his thumb.

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00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:14,559
<i>Worse still, God doesn't just know
about the sinful things you've done.</i>

216
00:11:14,560 --> 00:11:18,760
<i>He also knows about the sinful things
you're merely thinking of doing.</i>

217
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,559
God knows everything we're thinking.

218
00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:24,119
That's a data privacy nightmare, isn't it?

219
00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:25,640
Is there a way to opt out?

220
00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:28,079
Not that I'm aware of.

221
00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:32,639
Could you put God off the scent
by only thinking decoy thoughts,

222
00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:36,079
like only thinking the opposite
of what you actually think?

223
00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:37,320
Would that work?

224
00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:40,079
I don't think so.

225
00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:41,000
No.

226
00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:44,679
You're not just dealing with a God
who's omniscient, knows everything.

227
00:11:44,680 --> 00:11:48,439
You're also dealing with a God
who is omnipotent, is all-powerful.

228
00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:52,399
I'll be honest. This relationship with God
throws up a lot of red flags.

229
00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:54,480
He's watching us all the time.

230
00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:56,239
He sets rules.

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00:11:56,240 --> 00:11:57,800
He's got a terrible temper.

232
00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:00,319
He even thinks he's God.

233
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:03,040
Isn't he basically
just a toxic narcissist?

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00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:08,719
<i>If you follow God's rules religiously,
you'll ascend to the kingdom of heaven,</i>

235
00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:09,799
<i>which sounds great.</i>

236
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:12,119
<i>Although, if you're old when you die,</i>

237
00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:14,800
<i>you might not want
to be going up a lot of stairs.</i>

238
00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:18,959
In heaven, nobody has to work anymore.

239
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:21,839
The most that will be asked of you
is doing the washing up,

240
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:24,679
but since all earthly appetites
will have been sated,

241
00:12:24,680 --> 00:12:26,840
we can only be talking about the odd mug.

242
00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:30,239
<i>The alternative to heaven is hell,</i>

243
00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:32,999
<i>a fiery pit
of damnation and eternal torment</i>

244
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:36,359
<i>which currently only has two stars
on Tripadvisor.</i>

245
00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:38,560
This is quite a spiritual show.

246
00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:41,759
Can I ask about our souls?

247
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:46,159
Do we get judged for the cleanliness
of our souls when we get to heaven?

248
00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:49,680
I think we get judged
by how we've acted in the world.

249
00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:53,520
When we look into our souls,
what do we find there?

250
00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:58,439
Well, it depends how far
we're prepared to look into it.

251
00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:00,240
How far you look up, yeah.

252
00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:02,279
[organ playing]

253
00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:04,239
<i>God's unforgiving nature means</i>

254
00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:06,959
<i>his believers try to stay
in his good books</i>

255
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:09,399
<i>through a form of organized groveling</i>

256
00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:10,440
<i>called worship.</i>

257
00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:19,200
<i>♪ Enter our souls, king of heaven ♪</i>

258
00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:24,879
<i>♪ Even though they reek of sin ♪</i>

259
00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:29,759
<i>♪ Enter our souls resolutely ♪</i>

260
00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:34,680
<i>♪ Penetrate the depths within ♪</i>

261
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:37,320
<i>♪ Our souls! Our souls! ♪</i>

262
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:40,079
<i>♪ Our souls! Our souls! ♪</i>

263
00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:46,320
<i>♪ Fill them up unto the brim ♪</i>

264
00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:52,599
Many find praising God in this way
gives them a purpose in life.

265
00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:54,120
Sucking up to the boss.

266
00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:59,040
If God's up there looking down on us,
why do we kneel when we pray?

267
00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:06,080
{\an8}Kneeling is the expression
of a sense of awe and holiness.

268
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:09,559
But what's the point
in kneeling though, all bent over?

269
00:14:09,560 --> 00:14:11,319
You know, it's terrible acoustics.

270
00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:15,479
Wouldn't it be better to stand up
and shout a list of demands up to the sky?

271
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:18,119
God is not in the sky, literally.

272
00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:21,079
Right. So where is he?
Has he got an address?

273
00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:24,360
God is present

274
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:29,319
in all places and all times.

275
00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:31,439
What, even, like, in cupboards?

276
00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:35,080
Well, you've raised
a very important question here

277
00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:40,839
because one way of thinking

278
00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:46,280
about the divine presence
is in terms of his knowledge.

279
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:50,640
So maybe God is not located
in the cupboard,

280
00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:56,439
but he knows about the state of affairs
in the cupboard.

281
00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:58,640
Uh, sorry, is he in a cupboard or not?

282
00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:03,439
<i>Not everyone believes God is
solely responsible for giving us life.</i>

283
00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:05,560
<i>Other origin stories are available.</i>

284
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:11,839
<i>The man slowly moving towards you is
unshaven Victorian genius Charles Darwin.</i>

285
00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:15,039
One day, Darwin rode a beagle
to the Galápagos Islands,

286
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:19,159
where an exotic tortoise gave him an idea
in the form of a theory,

287
00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:23,480
a theory that human bodies
haven't always been human bodies.

288
00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:28,120
Why do we say our ancestors came in apes?

289
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,159
{\an8}Our ancestors came...?

290
00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:32,160
In apes.

291
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,959
Ah. They didn't come from apes.

292
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:39,399
Apes and ourselves came
from something else.

293
00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:40,319
A chimp?

294
00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:45,279
It's sort of... It's not exactly
like a chimp or a modern ape or ourselves.

295
00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:48,200
- Right. So we didn't come in a chimp?
- No.

296
00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:52,759
[Philomena] <i>It's hard to believe
we all mutated from monkey meat,</i>

297
00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:56,919
<i>unless you consider all life is
basically the same at a microscopic level.</i>

298
00:15:56,920 --> 00:16:01,200
<i>Lots of things are alive,
from tiny microbes to bigger microbes.</i>

299
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:04,519
Every life form is made of cells,

300
00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:05,839
like a prison,

301
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,879
which is probably
why existence is so depressing.

302
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:10,360
It's a life sentence.

303
00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:13,800
Just like the sentences I say
in this program about life.

304
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:17,399
Are cells worth having?

305
00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:19,680
Well, without cells we wouldn't be.

306
00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:22,079
We're made up of trillions of cells.

307
00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:26,279
We all came from a single cell,
so they're really important to us.

308
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:29,999
Are my cells dividing
and multiplying all the time,

309
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,079
like even when I'm sitting here now?

310
00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:33,759
Since you've been sat there,

311
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:37,479
you've had about a million cell divisions
going on in your body.

312
00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:40,000
Ah, no wonder I feel so worn out
all the time.

313
00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:43,759
Cells couldn't multiply without this,

314
00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:46,960
the IKEA instruction manual for life, DNA.

315
00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:51,559
DNA is tiny yet complex, like Tom Cruise.

316
00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:55,279
It would take a typist over 50 years
to type out the DNA sequence,

317
00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:58,880
which would be stupid because she could
cut and paste it and go home.

318
00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:01,759
I call her "she"
because of unconscious bias,

319
00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:04,320
which is in my DNA and not my fault.

320
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,880
Have you heard of D and A?

321
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,079
{\an8}Yes.

322
00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:10,999
{\an8}Do we all have D and A?

323
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:14,200
Or do some of us have D or A,
but not both?

324
00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:17,359
No, it's not D and A.

325
00:17:17,360 --> 00:17:20,319
It's three letters. DNA.

326
00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:23,640
Can you tell by looking at me
whether I have DNA?

327
00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:27,439
Well, I know you have DNA
because you're a living organism,

328
00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:28,840
and all life has DNA.

329
00:17:29,360 --> 00:17:31,919
My mate Paul tried
to create a new life-form

330
00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:34,679
by inserting his DNA into a grapefruit,

331
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:38,960
but halfway through the experiment,
the greengrocer started hitting him.

332
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:42,040
Why is science so controversial?

333
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:49,319
Sorry, that... that question
didn't follow from your story of the...

334
00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:50,880
- DNA.
- No, it changed, yeah.

335
00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:53,639
One of life's biggest mysteries

336
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,560
is how it's possible for me
to look both like my mother

337
00:17:58,120 --> 00:17:59,400
and my father

338
00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:01,560
at the same time,

339
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:04,120
even though I've only got one face.

340
00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:09,719
Is it true the most important thing
we can do as humans is piss in our jeans?

341
00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:11,080
[man] Pass on our genes.

342
00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:14,800
- Sorry?
- [man] Sorry, it's "pass on our genes."

343
00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:17,119
Oh, right.

344
00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:21,560
Um, is it true the most important thing
we can do as a human is...

345
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:23,000
pass...

346
00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:25,400
pass on our genes?

347
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,359
I don't know
if it's the most important thing,

348
00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:29,959
but it is very important

349
00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:34,280
because what it means is
that you pass on your genes from you

350
00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:36,359
to your child.

351
00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:38,679
What if I don't want
to pass on any of mine?

352
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:40,959
Then, um, then you don't have to.

353
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:42,839
Right. How can I avoid it?

354
00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:45,960
Well, um, you have to make love.

355
00:18:47,120 --> 00:18:49,200
What, to avoid passing on my genes?

356
00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:56,559
All living things reproduce,
which means all living things procreate.

357
00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:59,359
<i>Dogs, lions, pigs,</i>

358
00:18:59,360 --> 00:19:02,039
<i>penguins, monkeys, shell monsters,</i>

359
00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:03,599
<i>elephants, horses,</i>

360
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:06,079
<i>David and Victoria Beckham,
and pigs again.</i>

361
00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:10,759
The female reproductive organs are
largely hidden indoors for safekeeping

362
00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:13,639
and normally only visible
behind some kind of paywall.

363
00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:17,639
By contrast, the male genitals,
or "Mr. Genitals,"

364
00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:21,199
live on the outside of the body,
where they can be easily photographed

365
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:24,040
and DM'ed to a potential mate
without consent.

366
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:26,879
So, which bit's the penis?

367
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:29,439
So, the penis is over here.
It's this bit here.

368
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:32,600
Right. I'll talk quietly.
I don't want to wake it.

369
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:34,479
This is a flaccid penis.

370
00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:38,159
{\an8}So, for sexual intercourse,
it has to become erect.

371
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:41,080
So what happens, then?
What bit goes where?

372
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:44,639
- So this penis needs to become erect.
- Yeah.

373
00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:48,039
And then it will be put
into the vagina here during intercourse,

374
00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:51,959
and he's going to ejaculate sperm
through his penis

375
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:53,719
and then into the woman's vagina.

376
00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:55,360
[exhales] Christ.

377
00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:58,080
I hope nothing like that
ever happens to me.

378
00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:02,239
The disappointingly-flavored soup
that vomits from the penis

379
00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:04,839
contains millions of plucky young tadpoles

380
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:08,759
which swim their way up
through the female pipework towards an egg

381
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:13,079
and then kamikaze into it,
like a tiny 9/11 happening up a lady.

382
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:17,039
This is where, incredibly,
the miracle of life begins

383
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:22,120
and the precise moment
that a woman's right to choose ends.

384
00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:25,519
<i>Nine months after conception,</i>

385
00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:28,639
<i>the infant painlessly slides
through the lady's front hole</i>

386
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:30,399
<i>and out into the world.</i>

387
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:34,800
<i>It then slowly mutates
from a baby into an actual human being.</i>

388
00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:37,960
But what exactly is a human being?

389
00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:41,800
What percentage of people
have a human body?

390
00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:44,680
{\an8}All humans have a human body.

391
00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:47,239
{\an8}What about people holding a cat?

392
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:50,159
Have they got a human body
and a cat's body,

393
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:51,720
or does it not work that way?

394
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:54,359
No, the two are completely separate.

395
00:20:54,360 --> 00:20:57,120
The human is a human and the cat is a cat.

396
00:20:58,360 --> 00:21:02,599
[Philomena] <i>Human biology has existed
almost as long as humans themselves,</i>

397
00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:03,720
<i>if not longer.</i>

398
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:09,080
<i>It involves a complex arrangement
of skin and meat machines called organs.</i>

399
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:13,039
Put these organs in a plastic bag
and walk around a shoe shop with them

400
00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:14,639
and you'd be arrested.

401
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:17,959
But put them in the right order
and you've got a human body,

402
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:22,160
an exquisitely constructed machine
that also farts and eats crisps.

403
00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:25,359
Our organs are so gory,

404
00:21:25,360 --> 00:21:27,799
some people can't bear
to see images like this.

405
00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:31,440
If you're one of those sensitive viewers,
look away five seconds ago.

406
00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:36,799
Is the correct term for all this
offal or gore?

407
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:38,159
All this stuff.

408
00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:40,640
Yeah, that is...
This is called the intestine.

409
00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:44,679
If you pulled an intestine out,
how long would it be?

410
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:46,719
It would be many meters.

411
00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:48,680
Okay, but why are you pulling it out?

412
00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:52,439
We wouldn't normally pull it out
unless there was a disease process.

413
00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:55,279
- So you don't know why it's happening?
- No.

414
00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:58,239
[Philomena] <i>All these slimy innards need
a surrounding structure</i>

415
00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:01,519
<i>to stop them slopping onto the floor
for passersby to slip on.</i>

416
00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:05,319
We wouldn't be upstanding citizens
if it wasn't for this,

417
00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:07,679
the human skeleton of ghost train fame.

418
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:11,840
It's incredible to think that
there's one of these inside some of us.

419
00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:16,400
Did you know
only 40% of people have skeletons?

420
00:22:18,360 --> 00:22:22,199
- Where did you get this figure from?
- It's true. I saw a video about it.

421
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:25,439
You only find out
if you've got a skeleton after you die.

422
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:27,239
Some people are just solid meat.

423
00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:29,959
- This is--
- You know Burt Lancaster, the actor?

424
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:32,240
He was solid meat,
apparently, like a sausage.

425
00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:36,279
Every human being has a skeleton.

426
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:38,160
That figure is 100%.

427
00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:40,719
Did you know knees are a con?

428
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:41,959
Why do you say that?

429
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:44,439
If you walk everywhere
without bending your legs,

430
00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:46,560
you can prolong your life
by about eight years.

431
00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:48,800
I went running this morning.

432
00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:51,359
How would I run without bending my knees?

433
00:22:51,360 --> 00:22:54,079
I'm not saying you didn't bend your knees.

434
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:57,079
I'm just saying
that if you didn't bend your knees,

435
00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:59,520
you could prolong your life
by eight years.

436
00:23:00,120 --> 00:23:03,200
Although, it does make stairs a problem.
I'll grant you that.

437
00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:06,879
The most important bit
of the human body is up here,

438
00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:09,560
in the driver's compartment or "skull."

439
00:23:10,360 --> 00:23:13,159
Imprisoned within every skull
is a creature we've enslaved

440
00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:14,599
to do our thinking for us,

441
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:17,880
a sort of smart cauliflower
known as the brain.

442
00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:21,839
{\an8}- So, this is a brain.
- This is a brain.

443
00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:24,919
How many of these are in an average head?

444
00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:26,879
We have one each.

445
00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:28,320
- Just the one?
- Just the one brain.

446
00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:32,479
[Philomena] <i>The brain
doesn't just tackle complex tasks</i>

447
00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:34,480
<i>like blinking or making porridge.</i>

448
00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:39,360
It also handles trivial things,
like our entire human consciousness,

449
00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:42,560
the origins of which
are a complete mystery.

450
00:23:44,120 --> 00:23:47,439
Does the brain generate the consciousness,

451
00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:50,320
or does the consciousness
operate the brain?

452
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:53,599
- You'll find lots of disagreements--
- Oh, sorry.

453
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:56,039
I'm supposed to remind you
to keep your answer...

454
00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:57,199
What was it?

455
00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:59,479
"Coherent for our fuck-witted viewers."

456
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:01,719
It is a complicated question.

457
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:05,839
My view is that the brain
generates consciousness,

458
00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:08,639
but consciousness
gives us the ability to do things

459
00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:11,599
that we wouldn't be able to do
if we weren't conscious.

460
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:12,999
Right. Thank you.

461
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:17,880
And apparently, I wasn't supposed
to read that card aloud, so...

462
00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:20,320
Apologies to you at home.

463
00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:25,040
All of this leads
to a fundamental human question.

464
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:26,480
Who am I?

465
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:30,440
Not me, obviously.
I'm on the telly, so people know who I am.

466
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:33,120
But who are you? What are you doing here?

467
00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:36,280
And is any of this really happening?

468
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:41,239
When we have a thought,
like if I picture a windmill,

469
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:43,080
how real is that windmill?

470
00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:45,199
It's not real.

471
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:46,279
It's not real?

472
00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:47,959
It's in your... It's in your mind.

473
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:50,720
Why did I picture a windmill, though?
Is it a clue?

474
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:52,479
A clue to...?

475
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:53,839
- Something.
- I don't know.

476
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:55,919
It depends what you were thinking about.

477
00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:57,520
What's inside the windmill?

478
00:24:58,120 --> 00:25:01,120
Um, it depends
what you were thinking about.

479
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:05,440
What if someone lives inside the windmill

480
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:09,440
and I'm not imagining them,
they're imagining me?

481
00:25:10,120 --> 00:25:15,240
This is a very unusual way
to think about how imagination works.

482
00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:19,439
[Philomena] <i>Imagination is
a side effect of having a mind,</i>

483
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:21,639
<i>and some believe it can be enhanced</i>

484
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:24,240
<i>with the use of mind-expanding drugs.</i>

485
00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:30,999
When hippies took mind-expanding drugs,
how much wider did their minds get?

486
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:33,079
Did their skulls ever pop open?

487
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:34,759
Their skulls didn't pop open,

488
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:39,959
{\an8}but it meant that they were more open
to ideas and philosophies and concepts

489
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:42,039
they may not have previously considered.

490
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:46,480
You know when people talk about
opening their third eye?

491
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:51,040
That's what my mate Paul calls the hole
in the end of his penis.

492
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:53,760
Why would anyone want to widen that?

493
00:25:54,360 --> 00:25:57,079
{\an8}<i>The use of psychopathic drugs in the 1960s</i>

494
00:25:57,080 --> 00:26:01,920
<i>also led popular figures to contemplate
more spiritual aspects to human existence.</i>

495
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:05,879
When The Beatles dropped acid
and went to India,

496
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:09,920
did they actually go,
or was that part of the trip?

497
00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:12,439
No, they did actually go to India,

498
00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:16,199
and they visited an ashram and gurus
while they were out there.

499
00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:20,959
It changed the stuff they said, didn't it?
They said, "All you need is love,"

500
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:24,799
and then George Harrison said,
"All things must pass."

501
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:27,439
Those were spiritual messages,
weren't they?

502
00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:31,800
So when Paul said he was simply
having a wonderful Christmastime,

503
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:34,480
was there a deeper meaning there?

504
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:36,999
I don't know
if there was a deeper message there.

505
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:40,439
That was a bit later that Paul was having
a wonderful Christmastime.

506
00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:45,440
Yeah. My ex Sean sang that to me
in bed once during an intimate moment.

507
00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:48,720
Honestly, I went as dry as a cat's tongue.

508
00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:53,159
<i>Rock stars also popularized meditation</i>

509
00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:56,719
<i>as a way to clear the stresses
of modern life from the mind.</i>

510
00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:58,919
Do you have to sit down to meditate,

511
00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:01,559
or could I do it
at the same time as something else,

512
00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:05,160
like driving or operating heavy machinery?

513
00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:06,959
Some people do...

514
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:09,839
So, Buddhists, for example,
do walking meditation,

515
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:11,239
so you don't have to sit down.

516
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:14,640
Does meditation help our souls relax?

517
00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:16,119
Yes.

518
00:27:16,120 --> 00:27:18,079
Meditation does help our souls relax?

519
00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:19,400
- Yes.
- Yeah.

520
00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:24,679
<i>Let's take a moment to realign ourselves
with our present reality together.</i>

521
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:29,000
We're going to do a guided meditation now,
so feel free to join in at home.

522
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:31,280
[echoing] <i>Close your eyes.</i>

523
00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:33,480
<i>Slow your breathing.</i>

524
00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:36,279
<i>Now, breathe in.</i>

525
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:38,000
[inhales deeply]

526
00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:48,319
<i>Sorry, breathe out.</i>

527
00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:50,160
[exhales heavily]

528
00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:54,360
<i>Become aware
of the rise and fall of your belly.</i>

529
00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:58,080
<i>Feel the fabric
of your clothes on your skin.</i>

530
00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:00,720
<i>Why is it that particular material?</i>

531
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:04,000
<i>Was it sewn together
by a child in a sweatshop?</i>

532
00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:07,080
<i>Probably best
not to think about that, actually.</i>

533
00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:09,480
<i>Listen to my voice.</i>

534
00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:12,959
<i>Why have they put
a sort of echo effect on it?</i>

535
00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:14,959
<i>I think it's so that
when they show this footage,</i>

536
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:17,919
<i>it sounds like these are my thoughts
echoing in my mind.</i>

537
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:19,480
<i>But we filmed that weeks ago.</i>

538
00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:21,520
<i>Hang on. Where am I now?</i>

539
00:28:22,360 --> 00:28:26,399
<i>Hang on. That's me waking up and standing.
That's not meant to happen.</i>

540
00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:28,480
<i>Help! I'm still here!</i>

541
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:31,079
<i>Oh God,
I've got separated from my own body.</i>

542
00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:33,319
<i>- They said this might happen. Help!</i>
- [gun cocking]

543
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:34,479
<i>- Help!</i>
- [gunshot]

544
00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:35,479
[thuds]

545
00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:38,720
[beeping]

546
00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:42,319
{\an8}[director] <i>Our apologies for that.</i>

547
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:45,599
{\an8}<i>We had a duplicate consciousness
stuck on the voice-over track.</i>

548
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:50,360
{\an8}<i>So we've had it shot
and can shortly rejoin</i> Cunk on Life.

549
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:54,519
[announcer] <i>Who's that walking through
an awesome landscape</i>

550
00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:55,679
<i>recording a piece to camera?</i>

551
00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:57,319
<i>It's your very own Philomena Cunk!</i>

552
00:28:57,320 --> 00:28:59,239
<i>Featuring a vaguely realistic face,</i>

553
00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:01,479
<i>similar clothing,
and a total lack of mannerisms.</i>

554
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:02,559
<i>But that's not all.</i>

555
00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:06,919
<i>Philomena also sprouts facial hair,
witnesses the crucifixion, and lays eggs!</i>

556
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:10,159
<i>Pop off her head, tip her over,
and whoops-a-daisy! Real blood!</i>

557
00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:11,999
<i>The fun doesn't end with mopping that up.</i>

558
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:14,919
<i>Philomena pilots her very own spacecraft,
the USS Triceratops,</i>

559
00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:16,559
<i>with her intergalactic friends,</i>

560
00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:19,959
<i>Captain Shitpeas,
Mrs. Benson, and Barnaby-9.</i>

561
00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:23,479
{\an8}<i>Together they tour the galaxy, repairing
black holes and mutilating cattle.</i>

562
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:26,559
<i>Philomena Cunk & Pals.
Available from all good retailers.</i>

563
00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:27,559
<i>May contain pine nuts.</i>

564
00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:29,879
<i>Side effects include
spontaneous combustion and melancholy.</i>

565
00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:32,120
<i>Do not feed after midnight.
Remember to hydrate. Amen.</i>

566
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:35,839
{\an8}[quirky music playing]

567
00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:37,480
{\an8}[Philomena] <i>Coming up on</i> Cunk on Life.

568
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:40,840
{\an8}<i>Meet a man facing oblivion on death row.</i>

569
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:44,279
{\an8}<i>I ask a philosopher to probe our souls.</i>

570
00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:47,720
{\an8}Do philosophers spend a lot of time
thinking about our souls?

571
00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:52,519
{\an8}<i>And I visit the Large Hadron Collider</i>

572
00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:55,280
{\an8}<i>for some astrochat
with Professor Brian Cox.</i>

573
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:57,439
{\an8}What's a black hole?

574
00:29:57,440 --> 00:29:58,759
{\an8}A black hole?

575
00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:00,360
{\an8}Sorry, a hole of color.

576
00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:07,320
{\an8}<i>But first, let's take a sideways look
at the suffocating inevitability of death.</i>

577
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:10,839
[grandiose music playing]

578
00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:12,600
<i>Death is the great leveler.</i>

579
00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:17,559
In life, you might've been a billionaire,
supermodel, president, and king,

580
00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:21,080
but the moment you die, you start rotting
like a sausage in a lay-by.

581
00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:25,880
The big unknown is how you'll die.

582
00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:29,079
You might die
falling off a ladder or a cliff,

583
00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:31,279
or into a lake full of knives.

584
00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:34,880
You could be hit by a car or a bus,
or a tractor if you're rustic.

585
00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:38,759
Maybe you're already dead
and watching this from beyond the grave,

586
00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:42,239
which would be a shame because
you won't count towards the ratings.

587
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:45,840
Statistically, which is more common,
athlete's foot or death?

588
00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:49,479
Death is infinitely more common.

589
00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:51,760
In fact, it is guaranteed for all of us.

590
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:56,600
How soon after death is it safe to resume
your regular day-to-day activities?

591
00:30:57,360 --> 00:31:00,559
You can't resume
your day-to-day activities

592
00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:01,520
once you're dead.

593
00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:03,959
- How would you?
- So you can't do anything?

594
00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:05,600
You can't even listen to a podcast?

595
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:08,039
You can't listen to anything.

596
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:13,560
If you played a podcast to a corpse,
would really none of it go in?

597
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:15,800
Absolutely nothing would go in.

598
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:18,959
One downside of our big brains is

599
00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:22,199
we're the only creatures
who are aware that death is inevitable.

600
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:25,839
Although, if you lined ten dogs in a row
and shot them one by one,

601
00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:29,400
the dog on the end would
probably get the gist by about dog four.

602
00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:33,679
<i>Of course, it's easy to forget about death
until it happens to you,</i>

603
00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:35,879
<i>at which point
your brain gets wiped anyway.</i>

604
00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:38,439
It wasn't like that in medieval times.

605
00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:42,319
Back then, thanks to plagues, wars,
and a general undercurrent of violence,

606
00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:44,519
people were casually familiar with death.

607
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:47,160
In fact, they got FOMO
when they didn't die.

608
00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:51,559
And this matey relationship
with their own mortality

609
00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:53,720
was reflected up their art.

610
00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:57,599
<i>This is Bruegel's</i> Triumph of Death<i>,</i>

611
00:31:57,600 --> 00:32:02,239
<i>which depicts an army of the undead
violently laying waste to humankind</i>

612
00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:05,960
<i>in scenes unlikely
to be adapted into a Pixar movie.</i>

613
00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:09,599
It's terrifying to think
this actually happened.

614
00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:12,599
We're lucky Bruegel managed
to capture this image

615
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:15,079
before he too was captured
by the skeletons.

616
00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:17,959
In fact, I'm surprised
he could paint at all.

617
00:32:17,960 --> 00:32:20,119
My hands would have been shaking so much,

618
00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:22,320
I'd have had my own eye out
with the brush.

619
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:26,640
What the fuck is this?

620
00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:31,400
{\an8}Well, it's a scene of imagination,

621
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:35,440
but it's not a scene
that Bruegel would have actually...

622
00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:37,400
witnessed.

623
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:40,200
I mean, but it could happen, couldn't it?

624
00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:44,239
[sighs] No, it couldn't happen.

625
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:47,920
Misinformation is getting
so sophisticated, it's terrifying.

626
00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:53,399
<i>For years, morbid art like this
depicted an ominous figure</i>

627
00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:55,600
<i>dispatching human souls with a scythe.</i>

628
00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:58,999
That's this man, the Grim Reaper.

629
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:02,639
Don't worry. I haven't gone mad.
It only looks like there's no one there.

630
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:05,559
In fact, you won't be able
to see the Grim Reaper at home

631
00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:08,599
unless you're going to die
within the next 24 hours.

632
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:12,480
<i>What happens after death
is the subject of huge debate.</i>

633
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:15,959
<i>Some think that after you die,
you evolve into a ghost,</i>

634
00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:19,200
<i>a sort of low-tech hologram
made of haunted smoke.</i>

635
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:21,799
Scientists say ghosts don't exist,

636
00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:24,719
even though they've been caught
on camera loads of times,

637
00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:27,280
like in <i>Poltergeist</i> and <i>Poltergeist II</i>

638
00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:29,799
and the remake of <i>Poltergeist.</i>

639
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:33,600
In fact, ghosts have been caught on camera
more often than scientists have.

640
00:33:34,240 --> 00:33:35,440
So who's real now?

641
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:40,720
Should we move on
to more, uh, hardcore scientific stuff?

642
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:43,480
Okay, so ghosts.

643
00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:46,079
When a human body dies,

644
00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:50,280
which hole does the ghost come out of,
north or south?

645
00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:57,959
I don't regard ghosts
as a hard scientific subject, I'm afraid.

646
00:33:57,960 --> 00:34:00,280
Let me tell you something.
Don't dismiss it.

647
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:06,000
In 2021, my aunt Carol got engaged
to a man called Bob Collins.

648
00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:11,320
But one day, he just vanished
and cleared out her bank account.

649
00:34:12,240 --> 00:34:14,640
And when she looked up
the name Bob Collins,

650
00:34:15,240 --> 00:34:17,880
she discovered he'd died in 1958.

651
00:34:18,720 --> 00:34:20,120
He'd been a ghost all along.

652
00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:24,199
Could it not have been someone
impersonating Bob Collins?

653
00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:27,839
No, no. There were photos
of Bob Collins in 1958,

654
00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:30,039
and he looked totally different,

655
00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:34,200
which proves he disguised himself,
so she wouldn't know he was a ghost.

656
00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:37,279
You can't explain it, can you?
It's terrifying.

657
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:39,759
Isn't the easy answer
that he doesn't look like him

658
00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:41,480
because it's a different person
altogether?

659
00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:45,320
No, it...

660
00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:50,200
It's a ghost.

661
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:54,959
<i>Death, tragedy and suffering
have always been part of human life.</i>

662
00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:57,159
<i>Struggling with lives of ceaseless misery,</i>

663
00:34:57,160 --> 00:35:00,319
<i>people began to wonder
whether any kind of God exists at all.</i>

664
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:02,839
{\an8}[mellow music playing]

665
00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:05,719
{\an8}But for centuries,
no one dared voice that suspicion

666
00:35:05,720 --> 00:35:09,000
in case God did exist
and smited them shitless.

667
00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:12,679
But that was about to change.

668
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:14,159
It's 1883,

669
00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:18,559
and German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche
is hard at work in his study,

670
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:20,720
putting his thoughts on paper.

671
00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:24,360
Don't worry. He can't hear me.

672
00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:27,239
He's about to write
one of the most controver--

673
00:35:27,240 --> 00:35:30,239
[phone ringing]

674
00:35:30,240 --> 00:35:31,440
[beeps, ringing stops]

675
00:35:34,720 --> 00:35:37,759
[softly] He's about to write one of
the most controversial catchphrases

676
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:38,800
in history.

677
00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:41,640
Three little words by the name of

678
00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:43,240
God is dead.

679
00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:48,919
{\an8}Nietzsche said, "God is dead," didn't he?
And now he's dead himself.

680
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:49,879
Who's next?

681
00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:52,440
Did he name the killer before he died?

682
00:35:53,520 --> 00:35:55,240
Nietzsche? No.

683
00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:57,400
I think he thought that...

684
00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:02,920
people should realize
that they had constructed a God

685
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:06,879
that actually wasn't doing them
as much good as they thought,

686
00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:08,560
and people need to realize...

687
00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:12,919
not perhaps that he was dead,
but that he hadn't existed.

688
00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:14,440
So he's saying we killed him?

689
00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:17,239
In effect.

690
00:36:17,240 --> 00:36:19,039
But I wasn't even born.

691
00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:20,519
No. Yeah.

692
00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:22,000
Nietzsche can fuck off.

693
00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:24,239
Mm.

694
00:36:24,240 --> 00:36:27,200
Can we be sure God didn't kill himself?

695
00:36:27,720 --> 00:36:30,280
'Cause you never know
what people are going through.

696
00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:33,600
It's possible.

697
00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:37,759
[Philomena] <i>Nietzsche's proclamation
that God was dead</i>

698
00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:40,279
<i>caused an intellectual firestorm</i>

699
00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:44,079
<i>as writers and thinkers debated
the decline of religious authority</i>

700
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:46,639
<i>in an increasingly secularized world,</i>

701
00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:52,479
<i>107 years before the release of unrelated
Belgian techno anthem "Pump Up the Jam."</i>

702
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:54,640
["Pump Up The Jam" by Technotronic plays]

703
00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:10,279
{\an8}<i>♪ Pump up the jam, pump it up ♪</i>

704
00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:13,559
{\an8}<i>♪ While your feet are stomping
And the jam is pumping ♪</i>

705
00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:16,079
{\an8}<i>♪ Look ahead, the crowd is jumpin' ♪</i>

706
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:17,719
{\an8}<i>♪ Pump it up a little more ♪</i>

707
00:37:17,720 --> 00:37:19,799
{\an8}<i>♪ Get the party goin' on the dance floor ♪</i>

708
00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:21,599
{\an8}<i>♪ See, 'cause that's where
The party's at ♪</i>

709
00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:23,680
{\an8}<i>♪ And you'd find out if you do that ♪</i>

710
00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:27,519
{\an8}<i>♪</i> Awa, <i>a place to stay ♪</i>

711
00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:30,119
{\an8}<i>♪ Get your booty on the floor tonight ♪</i>

712
00:37:30,120 --> 00:37:31,440
<i>♪ Make my day ♪</i>

713
00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:35,199
♪ Awa, <i>a place to stay ♪</i>

714
00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:37,799
<i>♪ Get your booty on the floor tonight ♪</i>

715
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:39,160
<i>♪ Make my day ♪</i>

716
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:41,280
<i>♪ Make my day ♪</i>

717
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:43,080
<i>♪ Make my day ♪</i>

718
00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:45,040
<i>♪ Make my day ♪</i>

719
00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:46,920
{\an8}<i>♪ Make my day ♪</i>

720
00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:56,679
But if Nietzsche was right
and God is dead,

721
00:37:56,680 --> 00:38:00,039
it means we've got no higher entities
judging our lifestyles,

722
00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:02,399
except the people from the flat upstairs.

723
00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:05,079
It could create a terrifying moral vacuum

724
00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:07,999
in which people feel free
to behave atrociously,

725
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:11,519
like they did
in the entertainment industry of the 1970s

726
00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:13,599
and the '80s and the '90s,

727
00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:16,080
2000s, 2010s, and today.

728
00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:19,079
Luckily, moral guidance was on hand

729
00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:21,040
thanks to the world of literature.

730
00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:27,079
There were a lot
of influential Russian writers

731
00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:28,360
in the 19th century.

732
00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:32,039
Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, Turgenev,

733
00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:34,119
Turnover, and Pushkin.

734
00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:35,200
Who was best?

735
00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:37,959
I like Pushkin.

736
00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:38,999
- Yeah?
- Yes.

737
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:40,599
What about Turnover?

738
00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:44,720
Turnover is... What did he write?

739
00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:47,760
Oh, I don't know. It's in my notes.

740
00:38:48,720 --> 00:38:49,560
Um...

741
00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:54,080
"The main influential Russian writers
were Tolstoy, Dostoevsky,

742
00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:57,479
Turgenev, Turnover,

743
00:38:57,480 --> 00:38:58,599
and Pushkin."

744
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:01,719
It's all right if you've not heard of him.
You shouldn't be embarrassed.

745
00:39:01,720 --> 00:39:03,399
I hadn't heard of him either.

746
00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:04,840
Yeah. No. No.

747
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:08,879
[Philomena] This is one of the literary
world's greatest moral thinkers,

748
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:11,759
Russian novelist Fyodor Dostoevsky,

749
00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:14,080
seen here enjoying himself at a party.

750
00:39:14,720 --> 00:39:17,319
He wrote many books
still not read to this day.

751
00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:20,759
But his most celebrated work,
his absolute Tour de France,

752
00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:23,759
is unopened masterpiece
<i>Crimean D Punishment</i>.

753
00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:27,959
<i>Crime and Punishment</i> grapples
with individual freedom,

754
00:39:27,960 --> 00:39:31,319
the role of authority,
and the complexities of morality.

755
00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:33,080
What would you give it out of ten?

756
00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:36,519
- I'd give it nine, I think.
- Nine.

757
00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:37,640
Yeah.

758
00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:40,320
Nine.

759
00:39:41,240 --> 00:39:44,439
<i>Punishment hasn't changed much
since Dostoevsky's day,</i>

760
00:39:44,440 --> 00:39:49,079
<i>although, incredibly, in some countries,
if an offender's crime was really bad,</i>

761
00:39:49,080 --> 00:39:51,680
<i>the authorities
will actually cut their sentence short</i>

762
00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:53,680
<i>by killing them.</i>

763
00:39:54,240 --> 00:39:57,919
Capital punishment forces us
to ask questions like, "Does it hurt?"

764
00:39:57,920 --> 00:39:59,519
"Are tickets available?"

765
00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:01,959
and "What's the view like from seat 6A?"

766
00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:04,920
and also,
other more profound moral questions.

767
00:40:05,840 --> 00:40:08,999
Why do we say
people are facing the electric chair

768
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:11,079
when they've got their backs to it?

769
00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:12,759
{\an8}I think you're taking it too literally.

770
00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:15,199
{\an8}What we mean
by facing the electric chair is

771
00:40:15,200 --> 00:40:17,519
{\an8}is facing an inevitable death.

772
00:40:17,520 --> 00:40:18,480
[cell door shuts]

773
00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:21,559
[Philomena] <i>This is Waylon Jackalope IV.</i>

774
00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:25,039
<i>In 2019, he skinned six people alive</i>

775
00:40:25,040 --> 00:40:28,079
<i>and was rewarded
with his own Netflix documentary</i>

776
00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:29,960
<i>and a guest spot on death row.</i>

777
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:33,839
And I'm delighted to say
he's joining us right now.

778
00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:37,119
So, Waylon. You murdered six people.

779
00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:38,960
Where'd you get your ideas from?

780
00:40:39,560 --> 00:40:41,639
<i>It's kinda tough for me to dwell on.</i>

781
00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:43,600
<i>All I can say is, um,</i>

782
00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:47,919
<i>the Waylon Jackalope
that killed those folks was a...</i>

783
00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:50,600
<i>a different man to the one you see today.</i>

784
00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:53,600
So, it wasn't you? You're innocent?

785
00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:56,520
<i>No, ma'am. I killed them.</i>

786
00:40:57,240 --> 00:40:58,400
Oh, thank God for that.

787
00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:03,160
So, um, have you been on death row before,
or is this your first time?

788
00:41:04,120 --> 00:41:05,000
<i>First time.</i>

789
00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:07,399
You're facing the electric chair.

790
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:09,400
Aren't you worried
about what's gonna happen?

791
00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:11,600
<i>I've made my peace with the Lord,</i>

792
00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:14,159
<i>and I'm ready to meet him.</i>

793
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:17,359
Yeah, but aren't you scared it'll hurt?
It's millions of volts.

794
00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:21,519
My mate Paul says your liver fries
and your kidneys pop

795
00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:23,799
and your bowels go into reverse flow

796
00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:26,840
and shoot boiling shit up into your throat
which chokes you.

797
00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:28,959
Apparently, it'd be genuinely more humane

798
00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:32,800
to pay some of the other inmates
to hold you down and pull your head off.

799
00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:40,320
Anyway, um, best of luck.

800
00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:46,119
Actually, before you go, could you just do
a quick promo thing for us

801
00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:47,400
into that phone?

802
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:51,199
Could you say,
"Watch me die on <i>Cunk on Life</i>"?

803
00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:53,200
It's for TikTok. It's only short.

804
00:41:54,840 --> 00:41:58,399
Watch me die on <i>Cunk for Life</i>.

805
00:41:58,400 --> 00:42:00,320
<i>On Life, on Life.</i>

806
00:42:01,840 --> 00:42:05,880
Watch me die on <i>Cunk on Life</i>.

807
00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:09,120
There you go. Wasn't hard, was it?

808
00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:14,639
Why does the electric chair
only do one person at a time?

809
00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:18,920
Could you have an electric bench
that does about seven in one go?

810
00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:22,239
You probably could.
You definitely shouldn't.

811
00:42:22,240 --> 00:42:24,839
Would be quicker though,
and you could do them in batches.

812
00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:28,359
It would be quicker, but we'd have
to accept the death penalty was a...

813
00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:31,519
a sensible and useful thing to do,
and I don't accept that so--

814
00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:34,839
Electrocuting people
isn't very eco-friendly, is it?

815
00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:37,559
Could we steam them to death instead?

816
00:42:37,560 --> 00:42:42,720
Uh, I'm sure there are other ways
of administering the death penalty

817
00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:46,039
that might be more eco-friendly.

818
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:48,879
I think the preference would be
to not do it at all.

819
00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:54,159
In a just and moral society,
is it better to kill one innocent person

820
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:56,320
than to save one innocent person?

821
00:42:57,080 --> 00:43:00,240
It's never going to be better
to kill an innocent person, I don't think.

822
00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:04,719
[Philomena] <i>Contemplating weighty,
big-bummed life and death dilemmas</i>

823
00:43:04,720 --> 00:43:06,399
<i>in a godless universe</i>

824
00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:09,320
<i>opens the door
to nihilism and existentialism,</i>

825
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:12,840
<i>two of the hardest-to-spell concepts
in philosophy.</i>

826
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:20,840
{\an8}So nihilism is the view that nothing,
absolutely nothing, matters.

827
00:43:21,440 --> 00:43:25,159
Why don't people mention they're nihilists
on their dating profiles?

828
00:43:25,160 --> 00:43:27,279
Like, I went on a date with a bloke,

829
00:43:27,280 --> 00:43:29,959
and 20 minutes in,
he said he was a nihilist

830
00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:33,359
and that
because human existence is futile,

831
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:36,679
there was no point continuing
with the date, and he left.

832
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:37,879
And I had to pay.

833
00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:40,160
Was he a nihilist or just a prick?

834
00:43:41,080 --> 00:43:42,160
Probably both.

835
00:43:42,640 --> 00:43:44,400
Yeah. As I suspected.

836
00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:49,999
Nihilism is the belief
that life is meaningless

837
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:53,239
and nothing is worth believing in
except more nihilism.

838
00:43:53,240 --> 00:43:56,800
Existentialism is the same as that
but using longer words.

839
00:43:57,360 --> 00:44:01,760
Who's the most famous existentialist
in history?

840
00:44:02,360 --> 00:44:04,760
Probably Jean-Paul Sartre.

841
00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:07,560
Right. See, I'd have said it was E.T.

842
00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:12,279
This is the first
celebrity existentialist,

843
00:44:12,280 --> 00:44:14,920
Parisian writer
Jean-Paul-Sartre-and-Ringo.

844
00:44:15,440 --> 00:44:17,879
Sartre saw things differently
to everybody else,

845
00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:20,199
partly because of his questioning mindset,

846
00:44:20,200 --> 00:44:21,960
but mainly because of those eyes.

847
00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:26,439
I mean, seriously, he could probably see
the back of his own ears with them

848
00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:28,159
or write two books at once.

849
00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:30,719
<i>That's why he was such a prolific author,</i>

850
00:44:30,720 --> 00:44:34,719
<i>writing book upon book,
outlining his existentialist theories</i>

851
00:44:34,720 --> 00:44:38,199
<i>decades before the release
of unrelated Belgian techno anthem,</i>

852
00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:39,400
<i>"Pump Up The Jam,"</i>

853
00:44:40,280 --> 00:44:41,520
<i>which you heard earlier.</i>

854
00:44:42,120 --> 00:44:44,359
{\an8}Someone told me
that cats are a good example

855
00:44:44,360 --> 00:44:47,200
{\an8}of something
that lives like an existentialist.

856
00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:51,920
A good life for an existentialist,
if there is such a thing,

857
00:44:52,520 --> 00:44:56,879
is a matter of creating
your own goals and values

858
00:44:56,880 --> 00:44:59,119
and sincerely following them.

859
00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:02,119
For example,
my cat reacts to his environment

860
00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:05,559
rather than just
being dragged around by others.

861
00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:09,079
How do you know cats aren't thinking
about their existence?

862
00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:10,879
They might be really anxious,

863
00:45:10,880 --> 00:45:14,239
and when they say "meow,"
they're expressing their own pain

864
00:45:14,240 --> 00:45:16,359
Iike "me, ow."

865
00:45:16,360 --> 00:45:18,359
Well, cats have pain.

866
00:45:18,360 --> 00:45:20,480
They don't behave in a way

867
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:23,959
that seems to suggest
a level of self-consciousness.

868
00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:26,319
Cats lick their own bum holes, don't they?

869
00:45:26,320 --> 00:45:30,079
Are all existentialists
supple enough to do that?

870
00:45:30,080 --> 00:45:31,640
Uh, no.

871
00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:33,479
[light music playing]

872
00:45:33,480 --> 00:45:36,159
[Philomena] <i>Being overwhelmed
with existential angst</i>

873
00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:38,560
<i>is part of being human.</i>

874
00:45:41,720 --> 00:45:44,199
Some of the greatest artists
in history have tried

875
00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:46,439
to express the agony
of the human condition.

876
00:45:46,440 --> 00:45:50,320
And so have ones
who could only paint as badly as this.

877
00:45:51,080 --> 00:45:52,959
This is Edvard Munch's <i>The Scream</i>,

878
00:45:52,960 --> 00:45:56,799
the first major existentialist statement
to later become an emoji.

879
00:45:56,800 --> 00:45:59,919
What inspired Eddie Munch to paint this?

880
00:45:59,920 --> 00:46:03,239
{\an8}It was an experience he'd had
walking with his friends.

881
00:46:03,240 --> 00:46:07,200
{\an8}But I've been on bridges,
and you don't find me painting about it.

882
00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:10,479
How come we can't hear him? Is he on mute?

883
00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:13,719
No, it's nature that is screaming loudly,

884
00:46:13,720 --> 00:46:16,559
and we all could hear nature
screaming loudly.

885
00:46:16,560 --> 00:46:20,479
So, is this one of the few examples
of a silent painting?

886
00:46:20,480 --> 00:46:22,199
All paintings are silent.

887
00:46:22,200 --> 00:46:25,439
If Edvard Munch knew
we wouldn't be able to hear it,

888
00:46:25,440 --> 00:46:29,439
why didn't he wait till this bloke's mouth
was closed before painting him?

889
00:46:29,440 --> 00:46:30,919
It's just annoying.

890
00:46:30,920 --> 00:46:33,439
I've noticed he's not moving either.
Why is that?

891
00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:38,559
Because he's rooted to the spot
by the deep emotion he finds.

892
00:46:38,560 --> 00:46:41,400
So it's a freeze-frame of a painting?

893
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:45,760
It's a freeze-frame of a mood.

894
00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:49,479
Drew Barrymore dies at the start
of this painting, doesn't she?

895
00:46:49,480 --> 00:46:53,239
Do you know if they've got <i>Scream 2</i>
in this gallery as well?

896
00:46:53,240 --> 00:46:54,599
<i>- Scream 2?</i>
- Yeah.

897
00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:56,719
I'm afraid I don't know <i>Scream 2.</i>

898
00:46:56,720 --> 00:46:59,000
But this was based on the film, wasn't it?

899
00:46:59,880 --> 00:47:04,960
I don't think he'd seen the film.
It's a painting of an experience he'd had.

900
00:47:05,520 --> 00:47:09,960
But not a physical experience,
an emotional and psychological experience.

901
00:47:10,680 --> 00:47:12,320
We paint our souls.

902
00:47:13,080 --> 00:47:14,880
Why do we paint arseholes?

903
00:47:16,160 --> 00:47:18,359
<i>The more agonized
and miserable the artwork,</i>

904
00:47:18,360 --> 00:47:19,759
<i>the more people like it.</i>

905
00:47:19,760 --> 00:47:23,959
<i>And no dead agonized artist is bigger
than miserable redhead and own-ear vandal,</i>

906
00:47:23,960 --> 00:47:26,280
<i>Vincenzo Van Beethoven Gogh.</i>

907
00:47:27,560 --> 00:47:29,519
As you can see from this photograph,

908
00:47:29,520 --> 00:47:32,479
Van Gogh actually resembled a painting
in real life,

909
00:47:32,480 --> 00:47:35,240
making a career in art inevitable.

910
00:47:36,080 --> 00:47:38,519
<i>Several of his works, such as</i> Sad Flowers<i>,</i>

911
00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:40,039
Scary Night,

912
00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:43,719
<i>and</i> Woofy McPoker,
<i>have fetched millions at auction.</i>

913
00:47:43,720 --> 00:47:48,920
£22.5 million for the last time.

914
00:47:50,120 --> 00:47:52,759
[Philomena] This is one
of his most famous works,

915
00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:54,440
<i>Wheatfield with Crows</i>.

916
00:47:55,320 --> 00:47:58,039
At first glance,
it's a simple, rural scene,

917
00:47:58,040 --> 00:48:02,039
but look closer and you'll see
it's actually very badly made.

918
00:48:02,040 --> 00:48:03,520
Take these birds.

919
00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:05,959
Apparently, they're crows,

920
00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:09,079
but it's impossible to know
'cause there's no detail at all.

921
00:48:09,080 --> 00:48:11,039
Some are big. Some are small.

922
00:48:11,040 --> 00:48:12,960
Some have more wings than others.

923
00:48:13,440 --> 00:48:15,559
Looking at this, it's hard to believe

924
00:48:15,560 --> 00:48:19,719
Van Gogh had actually even seen
a crow or a wheat field,

925
00:48:19,720 --> 00:48:21,800
or even held a brush before.

926
00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:24,560
Look at those strokes.

927
00:48:25,240 --> 00:48:26,359
They're sloppy.

928
00:48:26,360 --> 00:48:29,039
It's like he painted it
wearing boxing gloves.

929
00:48:29,040 --> 00:48:30,759
It's just not good enough.

930
00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:33,039
In fact, it's actively bad.

931
00:48:33,040 --> 00:48:36,199
Van Gogh's life,
and by extension, our world,

932
00:48:36,200 --> 00:48:39,080
would've been improved
if he'd never painted anything,

933
00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:42,120
not even a bog door
in a home for the blind.

934
00:48:42,720 --> 00:48:45,280
Anyway, that's my view. What do you think?

935
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:52,480
Of course, most people aren't miserable
like Van Gogh.

936
00:48:53,040 --> 00:48:54,760
They're miserable like themselves.

937
00:48:58,080 --> 00:49:02,279
<i>They simply don't have time to channel
their pain into artistic expression</i>

938
00:49:02,280 --> 00:49:04,039
<i>'cause they're too busy working.</i>

939
00:49:04,040 --> 00:49:07,520
<i>And work is something
we all learn to barely tolerate.</i>

940
00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:11,319
Ever since the earliest caveman
went to work for the first cunt,

941
00:49:11,320 --> 00:49:15,240
people have hated their jobs,
partly 'cause those jobs were awful.

942
00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:19,079
<i>For centuries,
most jobs involved manual labor</i>

943
00:49:19,080 --> 00:49:20,719
<i>like lugging heavy coal around</i>

944
00:49:20,720 --> 00:49:23,800
<i>and tilling the fields
while someone sketched you for posterity.</i>

945
00:49:24,600 --> 00:49:26,319
<i>But as our world gets more modern</i>

946
00:49:26,320 --> 00:49:28,879
<i>and full of all plastic
and metal and stuff,</i>

947
00:49:28,880 --> 00:49:30,999
<i>the nature of work has changed.</i>

948
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:33,119
<i>Now jobs are even worse,</i>

949
00:49:33,120 --> 00:49:36,640
<i>which contributes
to an ever-growing sense of hopelessness.</i>

950
00:49:37,200 --> 00:49:39,959
Humans have to work a lot, don't they?

951
00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:42,360
Can work ever be truly rewarding?

952
00:49:43,960 --> 00:49:45,040
Yeah, I think so.

953
00:49:47,200 --> 00:49:48,520
What, even for him?

954
00:49:49,760 --> 00:49:51,919
All he does is hold a stick all day.

955
00:49:51,920 --> 00:49:55,319
There's no way
that's rewarding or meaningful.

956
00:49:55,320 --> 00:49:56,640
There's no skill involved.

957
00:49:57,960 --> 00:49:59,919
We wouldn't even need
a machine to replace him.

958
00:49:59,920 --> 00:50:01,880
Just a bracket and a stand would do.

959
00:50:02,520 --> 00:50:04,679
Can't be fulfilling in the slightest.

960
00:50:04,680 --> 00:50:07,880
He holds that stick
more than he holds his loved ones.

961
00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:10,839
If you think of the things
he's missed out on

962
00:50:10,840 --> 00:50:13,280
just holding that fucking stick
like a slave.

963
00:50:14,520 --> 00:50:16,320
You don't get that time back, you know.

964
00:50:18,160 --> 00:50:19,240
Wasted his life.

965
00:50:21,800 --> 00:50:24,640
{\an8}[gloomy music playing]

966
00:50:25,720 --> 00:50:27,320
[Philomena]
Very echoey in here, isn't it?

967
00:50:28,160 --> 00:50:29,440
Phil would've hated that.

968
00:50:30,280 --> 00:50:31,200
Wouldn't he, Ian?

969
00:50:34,640 --> 00:50:35,880
You're next.

970
00:50:36,840 --> 00:50:38,800
Can we have a minute for atmos, please?

971
00:50:43,080 --> 00:50:45,759
<i>Life itself can sometimes feel
like a horrible burden</i>

972
00:50:45,760 --> 00:50:47,839
<i>from which there is no escape.</i>

973
00:50:47,840 --> 00:50:49,919
But luckily, help is at hand.

974
00:50:49,920 --> 00:50:53,359
That's why I've come
to leading streaming platform Streamberry

975
00:50:53,360 --> 00:50:57,320
to see how they help distract viewers
from the bottomless misery of existence.

976
00:50:57,800 --> 00:50:59,800
[funky music playing]

977
00:51:00,560 --> 00:51:03,599
Here at Streamberry,
we're passionate about providing our users

978
00:51:03,600 --> 00:51:07,799
{\an8}with entertainment that speaks to them
on a personal level about their needs.

979
00:51:07,800 --> 00:51:10,800
Not just as a consumer, but as a mammal.

980
00:51:11,640 --> 00:51:15,079
We monitor our viewers'
emotional state at all times,

981
00:51:15,080 --> 00:51:17,159
and we've discovered
most of them are locked

982
00:51:17,160 --> 00:51:19,680
in a state of existential helplessness.

983
00:51:20,280 --> 00:51:22,679
And I imagine you want to fix that?

984
00:51:22,680 --> 00:51:25,559
Yes, that's why we launched
a suite of programming

985
00:51:25,560 --> 00:51:28,199
aimed at viewers who've given up all hope,

986
00:51:28,200 --> 00:51:30,120
which is 116% of them.

987
00:51:30,720 --> 00:51:33,159
These shows are grouped together
into genre brackets

988
00:51:33,160 --> 00:51:38,159
that help despairing viewers locate
content that really speaks to their mood.

989
00:51:38,160 --> 00:51:39,759
We're currently seeing maximum growth

990
00:51:39,760 --> 00:51:42,240
in a category called
"Standing On a Ledge Right Now."

991
00:51:42,840 --> 00:51:43,719
And what's that?

992
00:51:43,720 --> 00:51:47,479
That's programming aimed at viewers
standing on a ledge right now.

993
00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:49,240
Usually watching on their phone.

994
00:51:49,880 --> 00:51:54,040
Naturally, we don't want them to jump.
That would negatively affect engagement.

995
00:51:54,720 --> 00:51:58,159
And what about the little ones?
Is there anything for them?

996
00:51:58,160 --> 00:52:02,120
Yes, actually, one of our newest releases
is a show aimed at kids

997
00:52:02,680 --> 00:52:03,639
standing on ledges.

998
00:52:03,640 --> 00:52:07,760
Wow! And I think we've got
an exclusive preview of that right now.

999
00:52:19,320 --> 00:52:20,879
Hey, mister! Don't jump!

1000
00:52:20,880 --> 00:52:22,119
Why not?

1001
00:52:22,120 --> 00:52:23,039
Well...

1002
00:52:23,040 --> 00:52:24,999
[comical music playing]

1003
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:28,439
<i>♪ Sometimes we all feel
Like life's lost its meaning ♪</i>

1004
00:52:28,440 --> 00:52:31,239
<i>♪ But jump and that sidewalk
Will need careful cleaning ♪</i>

1005
00:52:31,240 --> 00:52:34,159
<i>♪ And more to the point
You just wouldn't survive ♪</i>

1006
00:52:34,160 --> 00:52:37,679
<i>♪ Let me list you some reasons
For staying alive ♪</i>

1007
00:52:37,680 --> 00:52:39,280
Uh, okay.

1008
00:52:39,920 --> 00:52:43,079
<i>♪ You'd miss out on nature
In all of its wonder ♪</i>

1009
00:52:43,080 --> 00:52:46,039
<i>♪ Like puppies and kittens
And sunshine and thunder ♪</i>

1010
00:52:46,040 --> 00:52:49,519
<i>♪ Your parents would miss you
In sorrow, they'd drown ♪</i>

1011
00:52:49,520 --> 00:52:52,679
<i>♪ If you plunged from that ledge
And went splat on the ground ♪</i>

1012
00:52:52,680 --> 00:52:54,120
Uh-huh.

1013
00:52:54,840 --> 00:52:57,519
<i>♪ Jumping's so final ♪</i>

1014
00:52:57,520 --> 00:53:00,160
<i>♪ No chance of revision ♪</i>

1015
00:53:00,920 --> 00:53:05,199
<i>♪ Most people who do jump
Regret their decision ♪</i>

1016
00:53:05,200 --> 00:53:07,079
[falling person] Ahh, he's right!

1017
00:53:07,080 --> 00:53:10,200
<i>♪ To leave a great legacy ♪</i>

1018
00:53:10,800 --> 00:53:12,959
<i>♪ Stay in the game ♪</i>

1019
00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:15,720
<i>♪ It sure beats just leaving a dent ♪</i>

1020
00:53:16,400 --> 00:53:18,199
<i>♪ And a stain ♪</i> [groans]

1021
00:53:18,200 --> 00:53:19,400
Oh, okay.

1022
00:53:20,320 --> 00:53:22,039
<i>- ♪ You've convinced me ♪
- ♪ Yay ♪</i>

1023
00:53:22,040 --> 00:53:23,239
<i>♪ Life is worth it ♪</i>

1024
00:53:23,240 --> 00:53:25,999
<i>♪ I don't wanna die ♪</i>

1025
00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:28,919
<i>♪ Be careful returning
You don't wanna slip ♪</i>

1026
00:53:28,920 --> 00:53:30,519
- Oh!
- Uh-oh.

1027
00:53:30,520 --> 00:53:33,280
<i>♪ Oh well, it's too late
Bye-bye ♪</i>

1028
00:53:35,640 --> 00:53:36,599
Hm.

1029
00:53:36,600 --> 00:53:39,399
- [sirens approaching]
- [child humming]

1030
00:53:39,400 --> 00:53:42,319
Well, thanks, Jacqui.
That was really enlightening,

1031
00:53:42,320 --> 00:53:44,559
and Streamberry seems fantastic.

1032
00:53:44,560 --> 00:53:45,999
- Thank you.
- Thank you.

1033
00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:46,920
Great.

1034
00:53:47,440 --> 00:53:49,000
- Brilliant.
- Thank you.

1035
00:53:50,240 --> 00:53:51,080
Yeah.

1036
00:53:52,200 --> 00:53:54,039
[upbeat music playing]

1037
00:53:54,040 --> 00:53:55,519
[Philomena] <i>Still to come...</i>

1038
00:53:55,520 --> 00:53:58,319
{\an8}<i>Will computers recode the meaning of life?</i>

1039
00:53:58,320 --> 00:54:02,040
{\an8}Will we ever be able
to upload our souls to a computer?

1040
00:54:02,880 --> 00:54:04,759
{\an8}<i>I take a closer look at cloning.</i>

1041
00:54:04,760 --> 00:54:06,720
{\an8}If you clone twins,

1042
00:54:07,280 --> 00:54:11,799
{\an8}do you get two copies of one of them,
or one copy of both of them?

1043
00:54:11,800 --> 00:54:15,439
{\an8}<i>Brian Cox gives a scientific view
of the firmament.</i>

1044
00:54:15,440 --> 00:54:18,679
{\an8}Isn't it a waste of energy
leaving the stars on at night?

1045
00:54:18,680 --> 00:54:19,600
{\an8}No.

1046
00:54:20,080 --> 00:54:24,480
{\an8}[Philomena] <i>But first, time to contemplate
our fate in a pitiless, godless universe.</i>

1047
00:54:26,080 --> 00:54:29,319
<i>With God dead
and existential despair all the rage,</i>

1048
00:54:29,320 --> 00:54:32,600
<i>it seemed humankind
was all alone in the universe.</i>

1049
00:54:33,720 --> 00:54:35,359
We were back to square one,

1050
00:54:35,360 --> 00:54:38,559
staring up at the night sky
and wondering how it got there.

1051
00:54:38,560 --> 00:54:42,760
To find out, we'd have to reopen
the biggest cold case of all time.

1052
00:54:44,680 --> 00:54:48,360
[dramatic music playing]

1053
00:54:49,000 --> 00:54:52,399
<i>The Bible had claimed
the universe was God's creation.</i>

1054
00:54:52,400 --> 00:54:54,439
<i>But now we knew that that was a lie,</i>

1055
00:54:54,440 --> 00:54:57,360
<i>we'd have to come up
with a new implausible theory.</i>

1056
00:54:59,360 --> 00:55:02,239
It's October 5th, 1923.

1057
00:55:02,240 --> 00:55:07,040
An astronomer, Edwin Hubble,
is about to make an incredible discovery.

1058
00:55:08,680 --> 00:55:11,639
<i>Peering through his telescope,
he becomes the first human</i>

1059
00:55:11,640 --> 00:55:15,440
<i>to observe a Cepheid variable star
in a galaxy beyond our own.</i>

1060
00:55:17,280 --> 00:55:19,439
<i>Hubble raced home to tell his wife, Grace,</i>

1061
00:55:19,440 --> 00:55:22,080
<i>who had loyally supported him
throughout his career.</i>

1062
00:55:22,600 --> 00:55:26,279
<i>"I've done it!" he cried.
But in his voice instead of mine.</i>

1063
00:55:26,280 --> 00:55:29,439
<i>"I've fundamentally altered
our concept of the universe."</i>

1064
00:55:29,440 --> 00:55:32,399
<i>"Oh, darling, that's wonderful,"
she replied.</i>

1065
00:55:32,400 --> 00:55:35,240
<i>Her eyes shone with pride,
and they embraced.</i>

1066
00:55:36,360 --> 00:55:40,359
<i>As they kissed hungrily,
their excitement gave way to passion,</i>

1067
00:55:40,360 --> 00:55:43,759
<i>and they moved to the bedroom,
hurriedly shedding their clothes.</i>

1068
00:55:43,760 --> 00:55:45,840
[both breathing heavily]

1069
00:55:46,920 --> 00:55:48,280
<i>Flesh pressed on flesh</i>

1070
00:55:50,880 --> 00:55:54,200
<i>as they explored each other's bodies
with carnal abandon.</i>

1071
00:55:55,520 --> 00:55:59,079
<i>Together, they steadily built
towards a crescendo of ecstasy,</i>

1072
00:55:59,080 --> 00:56:01,479
<i>their faces contorting with bliss.</i>

1073
00:56:01,480 --> 00:56:03,560
[both moaning]

1074
00:56:17,400 --> 00:56:18,840
[moans loudly]

1075
00:56:19,560 --> 00:56:22,640
<i>And a mutual orgasm
shuddered through their bodies.</i>

1076
00:56:26,360 --> 00:56:28,520
There they lay, quietly entwined,

1077
00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:32,880
exhausted yet resplendent
in the warm afterglow of their union.

1078
00:56:34,160 --> 00:56:36,680
Then Hubble mopped up
the damp patch with his vest.

1079
00:56:39,120 --> 00:56:42,199
<i>Hubble's discovery paved the way
for a groundbreaking theory</i>

1080
00:56:42,200 --> 00:56:44,560
<i>about how our universe was formed,</i>

1081
00:56:45,280 --> 00:56:48,519
<i>a theory that still excites nerds
to this day.</i>

1082
00:56:48,520 --> 00:56:52,200
Why do people say
the universe came out of a big bag?

1083
00:56:53,440 --> 00:56:54,880
I think you mean Big Bang.

1084
00:56:55,480 --> 00:56:56,999
A big bag that went bang?

1085
00:56:57,000 --> 00:56:59,279
No, no. Just a Big Bang, no bag.

1086
00:56:59,280 --> 00:57:03,920
Has anyone ever claimed responsibility
for the Big Bang?

1087
00:57:05,800 --> 00:57:06,680
It just happened.

1088
00:57:07,280 --> 00:57:09,160
So we're no nearer finding a culprit.

1089
00:57:11,000 --> 00:57:12,679
<i>The Big Bang is a theory,</i>

1090
00:57:12,680 --> 00:57:15,599
<i>and like all theories,
no one understands it.</i>

1091
00:57:15,600 --> 00:57:19,760
<i>If they come too close to working it out,
they're assassinated by the CIA.</i>

1092
00:57:20,560 --> 00:57:21,799
<i>But if it did happen,</i>

1093
00:57:21,800 --> 00:57:24,600
<i>the Big Bang filled the universe
with matter.</i>

1094
00:57:25,600 --> 00:57:26,600
This is an atom.

1095
00:57:27,080 --> 00:57:29,719
It's so tiny, you probably can't see it,

1096
00:57:29,720 --> 00:57:31,559
even if you're watching in 4K.

1097
00:57:31,560 --> 00:57:33,559
In fact, it's so small,

1098
00:57:33,560 --> 00:57:36,160
chances are I dropped it
before we started filming.

1099
00:57:36,760 --> 00:57:40,919
You, me, and everything around us
is made from these,

1100
00:57:40,920 --> 00:57:43,320
apart from this coat,
which is 100% cashmere.

1101
00:57:44,360 --> 00:57:46,759
What's the point of atoms?

1102
00:57:46,760 --> 00:57:49,599
Do we really need them,
or could we just do without?

1103
00:57:49,600 --> 00:57:52,799
We do really need them
because we are made of atoms.

1104
00:57:52,800 --> 00:57:57,119
Everything in the world is made of atoms
so without them, we wouldn't be here.

1105
00:57:57,120 --> 00:57:59,040
Are eyes made of atoms?

1106
00:57:59,600 --> 00:58:00,439
Yes.

1107
00:58:00,440 --> 00:58:02,760
'Cause my mate Paul did ketamine once,

1108
00:58:03,480 --> 00:58:06,760
and he said he started counting
all the atoms in his eyes.

1109
00:58:07,400 --> 00:58:10,199
Then he tried to eat a towel
and ended up in hospital.

1110
00:58:10,200 --> 00:58:11,519
Okay.

1111
00:58:11,520 --> 00:58:13,760
- Are my feet made of atoms?
- Yes.

1112
00:58:14,920 --> 00:58:17,640
I mean, I could save you the bother by...

1113
00:58:18,320 --> 00:58:21,440
Everything you say,
all stuff is made of atoms.

1114
00:58:22,160 --> 00:58:23,919
Are thoughts made of atoms?

1115
00:58:23,920 --> 00:58:25,719
Well, no, thoughts are--

1116
00:58:25,720 --> 00:58:27,399
- Well, there you go then.
- Okay.

1117
00:58:27,400 --> 00:58:28,600
But thoughts... Okay.

1118
00:58:29,920 --> 00:58:32,079
[Philomena] <i>You might think
nothing's smaller than atoms,</i>

1119
00:58:32,080 --> 00:58:33,679
<i>but as usual, you'd be wrong.</i>

1120
00:58:33,680 --> 00:58:38,679
<i>Incredibly, atoms themselves are made
of even smaller subatomic particles.</i>

1121
00:58:38,680 --> 00:58:42,119
Scientists have spent literally decades
attempting to explain

1122
00:58:42,120 --> 00:58:43,879
why these are interesting

1123
00:58:43,880 --> 00:58:45,400
to no avail.

1124
00:58:46,040 --> 00:58:49,119
<i>Perhaps that's why,
deep underground near Geneva,</i>

1125
00:58:49,120 --> 00:58:52,640
<i>they built a gigantic machine
called the Large Hadron Colly-der.</i>

1126
00:58:53,120 --> 00:58:55,679
<i>It smashes subatomic particles together,</i>

1127
00:58:55,680 --> 00:58:58,599
<i>recreating the conditions of the Big Bang.</i>

1128
00:58:58,600 --> 00:59:00,840
<i>And I'm actually walking into it now,</i>

1129
00:59:01,320 --> 00:59:02,560
<i>wearing a hard hat</i>

1130
00:59:03,120 --> 00:59:05,000
<i>in case a proton falls on me.</i>

1131
00:59:05,800 --> 00:59:09,359
<i>So, this is... this is
the actual Large Hadron colander.</i>

1132
00:59:09,360 --> 00:59:11,799
{\an8}So am I right in thinking
that this might prove

1133
00:59:11,800 --> 00:59:14,399
the existence of chakras
within the human body?

1134
00:59:14,400 --> 00:59:15,640
No.

1135
00:59:16,320 --> 00:59:18,279
You're not interested in chakras?

1136
00:59:18,280 --> 00:59:21,439
No. In the same way
I'm not interested in ghosts.

1137
00:59:21,440 --> 00:59:25,239
But my aunt Carol,
she can sense chakras in someone's body,

1138
00:59:25,240 --> 00:59:27,200
and she doesn't need any machines.

1139
00:59:27,960 --> 00:59:30,919
- Um, this could explode at any minute.
- No.

1140
00:59:30,920 --> 00:59:33,640
How fast do the protons in this thing go?

1141
00:59:34,360 --> 00:59:37,999
99.999999% the speed of light.

1142
00:59:38,000 --> 00:59:41,000
- Your sense of smell is faster, isn't it?
- No.

1143
00:59:41,800 --> 00:59:45,959
How come that when someone's frying bacon
and you walk in the kitchen,

1144
00:59:45,960 --> 00:59:48,599
you can smell it straight away
before you've even seen it?

1145
00:59:48,600 --> 00:59:51,280
Have you ever tried putting bacon in here?

1146
00:59:53,440 --> 00:59:54,919
- No.
- Yeah, you should try it.

1147
00:59:54,920 --> 00:59:56,319
You might make quantum bacon.

1148
00:59:56,320 --> 00:59:59,119
- Would that make it more interesting?
- A little bit.

1149
00:59:59,120 --> 01:00:01,999
Why would it be more interesting?
'Cause what it's--

1150
01:00:02,000 --> 01:00:04,599
I'm desperately...
I'm trying to help you out here.

1151
01:00:04,600 --> 01:00:08,799
I'm trying to make it
even slightly more interesting than it is.

1152
01:00:08,800 --> 01:00:13,679
But what it did was it detected
a thing called a Higgs particle.

1153
01:00:13,680 --> 01:00:15,799
Without the Higgs particle,

1154
01:00:15,800 --> 01:00:20,039
you, me, and everything else
that we know of in the universe,

1155
01:00:20,040 --> 01:00:22,199
- none of those things would exist.
- Right.

1156
01:00:22,200 --> 01:00:27,439
<i>In 2012, the megaboffins at CERN
discovered something incredible,</i>

1157
01:00:27,440 --> 01:00:28,800
<i>the Higgs bosom.</i>

1158
01:00:29,720 --> 01:00:34,039
Because of its significance
in explaining how our universe was made,

1159
01:00:34,040 --> 01:00:37,400
the Higgs bosom is
sometimes referred to as the God Particle.

1160
01:00:37,880 --> 01:00:40,479
But it could also be called
the Allah Particle

1161
01:00:40,480 --> 01:00:42,760
because we can't show you
any pictures of it.

1162
01:00:43,960 --> 01:00:46,919
<i>No less an authority
than the man I just spoke to</i>

1163
01:00:46,920 --> 01:00:49,319
<i>claimed it was
the biggest scientific discovery</i>

1164
01:00:49,320 --> 01:00:51,079
<i>in his lifetime.</i>

1165
01:00:51,080 --> 01:00:54,119
{\an8}<i>I think this is the biggest
scientific discovery in my lifetime.</i>

1166
01:00:54,120 --> 01:00:57,679
[Philomena] <i>And it stood with the great
scientific discoveries of all time.</i>

1167
01:00:57,680 --> 01:01:02,120
<i>And it stands with the great
scientific discoveries of all time.</i>

1168
01:01:02,720 --> 01:01:05,080
Can the Higgs boson rewind time?

1169
01:01:05,680 --> 01:01:06,520
No.

1170
01:01:07,920 --> 01:01:09,760
Can it tell
when an earthquake's gonna go off?

1171
01:01:10,360 --> 01:01:11,200
No.

1172
01:01:11,680 --> 01:01:14,200
- Can it make food spicier?
- It's just a particle.

1173
01:01:15,200 --> 01:01:19,960
It's like saying, "Can an electron tell
when an earthquake's gonna go off?"

1174
01:01:20,960 --> 01:01:22,080
- Can it?
- No.

1175
01:01:22,680 --> 01:01:26,319
Subatomic particles,
the tiniest things in existence,

1176
01:01:26,320 --> 01:01:30,199
can simultaneously exist
in two different states at once.

1177
01:01:30,200 --> 01:01:33,800
Just like Liam Hemsworth,
who's sexy and boring.

1178
01:01:34,520 --> 01:01:38,679
<i>In other words, science moves
in mysterious ways just like God does,</i>

1179
01:01:38,680 --> 01:01:39,679
<i>which was awkward</i>

1180
01:01:39,680 --> 01:01:42,200
<i>because scientists had decided
God didn't exist.</i>

1181
01:01:43,120 --> 01:01:46,239
So they invented
a whole new kind of science,

1182
01:01:46,240 --> 01:01:49,240
the science of things
that don't make scientific sense.

1183
01:01:49,760 --> 01:01:52,960
And to make it sound official,
they gave it a clever name.

1184
01:01:53,480 --> 01:01:55,199
What is Quantum McPhysics?

1185
01:01:55,200 --> 01:01:57,479
Quantum physics is...

1186
01:01:57,480 --> 01:02:01,000
So quantum mechanics is
our best theory of how the world works.

1187
01:02:01,520 --> 01:02:03,880
It describes everything
that we've observed

1188
01:02:04,400 --> 01:02:05,719
other than gravity.

1189
01:02:05,720 --> 01:02:08,040
Do mirrors run on quantum physics?

1190
01:02:09,440 --> 01:02:10,920
- Run?
- Yeah.

1191
01:02:12,320 --> 01:02:13,279
As in...?

1192
01:02:13,280 --> 01:02:16,680
According to quantum physics,
mirrors shouldn't work. They're a miracle.

1193
01:02:17,200 --> 01:02:19,040
That's not correct.

1194
01:02:19,680 --> 01:02:22,839
Quantum theorionics proves
there's infinite multiverses,

1195
01:02:22,840 --> 01:02:24,520
like in Marvel films, doesn't it?

1196
01:02:25,160 --> 01:02:27,199
That's one interpretation of the theory.

1197
01:02:27,200 --> 01:02:29,560
How many infinite multiverses are there?

1198
01:02:30,440 --> 01:02:33,079
If there were
an infinite number of multiverses,

1199
01:02:33,080 --> 01:02:35,559
then the number of multiverses
would be infinite.

1200
01:02:35,560 --> 01:02:39,600
See, I think there's two.
Ours and the one in mirrors.

1201
01:02:41,880 --> 01:02:44,759
Mirrors are windows
into other universes, aren't they?

1202
01:02:44,760 --> 01:02:45,679
No.

1203
01:02:45,680 --> 01:02:48,559
My mate Paul says
they run on quantum power

1204
01:02:48,560 --> 01:02:51,399
and that's why you can see
into an alternative dimension

1205
01:02:51,400 --> 01:02:54,359
in which everything's the same
as our realm but backwards.

1206
01:02:54,360 --> 01:02:55,600
What does Paul do?

1207
01:02:56,200 --> 01:03:00,439
Well, he worked in a tennis ball factory
where he had to catch tennis balls.

1208
01:03:00,440 --> 01:03:02,800
But he was fired from that,
and now he's unemployed.

1209
01:03:07,880 --> 01:03:09,400
Sorry, am I wasting your time?

1210
01:03:10,240 --> 01:03:11,080
Yeah.

1211
01:03:13,160 --> 01:03:15,159
[Philomena] <i>By the end
of the 20th century,</i>

1212
01:03:15,160 --> 01:03:17,559
<i>science had tried to outdo religion</i>

1213
01:03:17,560 --> 01:03:21,160
<i>by explaining creation,
unpicking the fabric of existence,</i>

1214
01:03:21,760 --> 01:03:23,719
<i>and discovering the God particle.</i>

1215
01:03:23,720 --> 01:03:25,319
For its next trick,

1216
01:03:25,320 --> 01:03:27,520
it tried to emulate God himself

1217
01:03:28,200 --> 01:03:29,640
by creating life.

1218
01:03:30,120 --> 01:03:32,799
The first ever thing to be cloned
was Dolly the sheep,

1219
01:03:32,800 --> 01:03:34,919
daughter of Dolly, the other sheep.

1220
01:03:34,920 --> 01:03:37,319
Dolly became
the most famous sheep in history,

1221
01:03:37,320 --> 01:03:39,600
although to be fair, that's a low baa.

1222
01:03:40,080 --> 01:03:42,679
Of course,
cloning raises awkward questions

1223
01:03:42,680 --> 01:03:44,520
about our sense of identity.

1224
01:03:45,560 --> 01:03:48,399
If I get copied, am I still unique?

1225
01:03:48,400 --> 01:03:52,600
Or is the clone me more unique
because it's a clone, which is cooler?

1226
01:03:53,160 --> 01:03:55,599
What makes me me and you you

1227
01:03:55,600 --> 01:03:57,560
and us us and we we?

1228
01:03:58,880 --> 01:04:01,159
<i>But rather than being replaced by clones,</i>

1229
01:04:01,160 --> 01:04:06,079
<i>it's more likely we'll be replaced
by something else we created, computers,</i>

1230
01:04:06,080 --> 01:04:10,320
<i>which are becoming so clever,
they might one day outsmart their masters.</i>

1231
01:04:11,400 --> 01:04:14,400
Will a computer ever be clever enough
to play chess?

1232
01:04:15,400 --> 01:04:17,680
Computers are already clever enough
to play chess.

1233
01:04:18,280 --> 01:04:20,559
Really? This is chess we're talking about?

1234
01:04:20,560 --> 01:04:25,479
Yes. Years ago,
computers overtook human beings at chess.

1235
01:04:25,480 --> 01:04:28,919
But do they know what all the pieces do?
Even the little horse ones?

1236
01:04:28,920 --> 01:04:29,840
Yes.

1237
01:04:30,560 --> 01:04:33,079
But the horse ones move
in random directions, don't they?

1238
01:04:33,080 --> 01:04:36,600
- There's no pattern to it.
- No, there is. They just move...

1239
01:04:37,120 --> 01:04:39,799
two in one direction
and one in the other, so...

1240
01:04:39,800 --> 01:04:42,400
Oh, right.
Did the computers work that out for us?

1241
01:04:43,120 --> 01:04:45,079
<i>Not content with playing chess,</i>

1242
01:04:45,080 --> 01:04:48,559
<i>computers are getting better
at emulating other more human,</i>

1243
01:04:48,560 --> 01:04:50,160
<i>less chess-like pursuits.</i>

1244
01:04:50,800 --> 01:04:54,679
One of the first examples of AI
was a piece of software called ELIZA,

1245
01:04:54,680 --> 01:04:56,239
which stands for something.

1246
01:04:56,240 --> 01:04:58,959
ELIZA simulated a psychiatrist.

1247
01:04:58,960 --> 01:05:02,199
It would ask you how you were feeling
and respond to your reply.

1248
01:05:02,200 --> 01:05:03,319
But it was basic.

1249
01:05:03,320 --> 01:05:05,559
It couldn't do everything
a psychiatrist can do.

1250
01:05:05,560 --> 01:05:07,999
It couldn't walk round the desk
or overcharge you,

1251
01:05:08,000 --> 01:05:10,959
start an affair with its secretary,
cook an omelet, or go...

1252
01:05:10,960 --> 01:05:13,040
[burbling]

1253
01:05:35,440 --> 01:05:40,079
<i>Today, AI is everywhere and all around us,
in our homes and in our hands</i>

1254
01:05:40,080 --> 01:05:42,879
- <i>with digital assistants like Siri...</i>
- [Siri] <i>Hi there.</i>

1255
01:05:42,880 --> 01:05:45,439
<i>...Alexa and that Google one
no one remembers.</i>

1256
01:05:45,440 --> 01:05:47,839
<i>Seriously,
it might as well be called Cuthbert.</i>

1257
01:05:47,840 --> 01:05:49,759
But when people talk about AI,

1258
01:05:49,760 --> 01:05:53,120
most of them are thinking
about generative AI chatbots like this,

1259
01:05:53,720 --> 01:05:56,559
ChatGPT,
which is so good at mimicking humans,

1260
01:05:56,560 --> 01:05:58,759
we might as well fucking kill ourselves.

1261
01:05:58,760 --> 01:06:00,720
Or at least, that's what it just told me.

1262
01:06:01,800 --> 01:06:03,840
People worry a lot about AI.

1263
01:06:04,640 --> 01:06:05,720
What about you?

1264
01:06:07,960 --> 01:06:10,519
You mean am I worried about...?

1265
01:06:10,520 --> 01:06:12,960
No, I mean, should they worry about you?

1266
01:06:14,320 --> 01:06:16,719
N... I hope not. I hope not.

1267
01:06:16,720 --> 01:06:20,119
I mean, I'm... People are worried
about artificial intelligence

1268
01:06:20,120 --> 01:06:24,119
because they think maybe one day
it'll replace us human beings.

1269
01:06:24,120 --> 01:06:26,479
I'm a human being.
Why should they be worried about me?

1270
01:06:26,480 --> 01:06:28,360
No, the letter "U."

1271
01:06:29,800 --> 01:06:32,639
They're all vowels, aren't they? A, I, U.

1272
01:06:32,640 --> 01:06:35,080
What does the "U" in AI stand for?

1273
01:06:36,000 --> 01:06:38,599
Th... There isn't a "U" in AI.

1274
01:06:38,600 --> 01:06:41,120
So, it's a secret then?
The computer's hidden it?

1275
01:06:42,040 --> 01:06:45,400
I'm more than machine or man,

1276
01:06:46,120 --> 01:06:48,920
more than a fusion of the two.

1277
01:06:49,560 --> 01:06:51,759
[Philomena] <i>Us humans
aren't about to be slaughtered</i>

1278
01:06:51,760 --> 01:06:54,080
<i>by the nightmarish robots
of science fiction.</i>

1279
01:06:54,680 --> 01:06:58,840
<i>We're about to be slaughtered
by the nightmarish robots of real life.</i>

1280
01:07:00,040 --> 01:07:03,959
Now as humans stand on a precipice
at the edge of a cliff face,

1281
01:07:03,960 --> 01:07:05,679
peering into a bottomless abyss

1282
01:07:05,680 --> 01:07:08,079
and wondering
if there's a void underneath it,

1283
01:07:08,080 --> 01:07:11,479
the question of life's purpose
seems more urgent than ever.

1284
01:07:11,480 --> 01:07:13,360
And even experts are confused.

1285
01:07:14,320 --> 01:07:17,400
Is there a point to human existence?

1286
01:07:18,240 --> 01:07:20,919
And if there is, what is it?

1287
01:07:20,920 --> 01:07:23,559
When you're answering,
bear in mind that if it's too long,

1288
01:07:23,560 --> 01:07:26,999
we have to overlay funny pet videos
over part of the screen

1289
01:07:27,000 --> 01:07:28,600
so viewers don't get bored.

1290
01:07:29,360 --> 01:07:33,760
Well, we want our lives to have meaning.

1291
01:07:34,840 --> 01:07:36,320
And the question is,

1292
01:07:37,320 --> 01:07:41,840
is that meaning
something that we construct,

1293
01:07:43,000 --> 01:07:46,160
which is what the German philosopher
Nietzsche would say,

1294
01:07:46,880 --> 01:07:50,680
or is meaning something
that we discover in the world?

1295
01:07:51,920 --> 01:07:54,920
Maybe that meaning is generated by God,

1296
01:07:55,400 --> 01:08:00,800
or maybe that meaning just happens
to be part of the fabric of the universe.

1297
01:08:02,440 --> 01:08:04,840
Why are poos tapered at the end?

1298
01:08:05,520 --> 01:08:07,879
Are they that shape
when they're inside us,

1299
01:08:07,880 --> 01:08:10,960
or do our bums mold them into that shape?

1300
01:08:13,040 --> 01:08:14,960
Sorry, that's for the poo expert.

1301
01:08:15,640 --> 01:08:18,719
Although, you're here,
so do you fancy answering it or...?

1302
01:08:18,720 --> 01:08:21,119
I don't think I know enough
about human biology

1303
01:08:21,120 --> 01:08:22,959
to give you an accurate answer.

1304
01:08:22,960 --> 01:08:24,080
Fair enough. Yeah.

1305
01:08:25,200 --> 01:08:29,279
<i>Throughout this landmark epic,
which you have definitely enjoyed,</i>

1306
01:08:29,280 --> 01:08:31,959
<i>my quest for meaning
has taken me around the world</i>

1307
01:08:31,960 --> 01:08:36,799
<i>and into several buildings, down stairs,
and at one point, onto a bouncy castle.</i>

1308
01:08:36,800 --> 01:08:40,479
From religious ecstasy
to nihilistic defecation,

1309
01:08:40,480 --> 01:08:42,319
from great works of literature

1310
01:08:42,320 --> 01:08:44,479
to that awful fucking painting,

1311
01:08:44,480 --> 01:08:47,400
humankind's quest
for meaning has never let up.

1312
01:08:48,160 --> 01:08:50,199
And now my work here is done.

1313
01:08:50,200 --> 01:08:52,519
I hope you found it illuminating.

1314
01:08:52,520 --> 01:08:56,039
Now it's time for me to find out
the meaning of life in other worlds.

1315
01:08:56,040 --> 01:08:57,119
Goodbye.

1316
01:08:57,120 --> 01:08:59,600
[whooshing]

1317
01:09:01,520 --> 01:09:04,759
[soft music playing]

1318
01:09:04,760 --> 01:09:09,159
Do authors sign their books at the end
like when you write a letter?

1319
01:09:09,160 --> 01:09:15,040
Like "That's <i>Crime and Punishment.</i>
The End. Yours sincerely, Dostoevsky."

1320
01:09:17,160 --> 01:09:18,480
Seldom, I think.

1321
01:09:19,440 --> 01:09:23,679
Why does the human eye have a nerve
connecting it directly to the anus?

1322
01:09:23,680 --> 01:09:24,599
It doesn't.

1323
01:09:24,600 --> 01:09:27,920
It does because when you pick your bum,
you sort of go like that.

1324
01:09:29,760 --> 01:09:32,160
When the penis goes into a lady,

1325
01:09:32,760 --> 01:09:35,439
why does it keep backing out
and going back in?

1326
01:09:35,440 --> 01:09:38,359
Can't it just go in,
get it done, and leave?

1327
01:09:38,360 --> 01:09:41,480
Were our souls created
during the Big Bang?

1328
01:09:42,080 --> 01:09:43,959
Depends what you mean by "our souls."

1329
01:09:43,960 --> 01:09:46,080
You know what I mean by "our souls."

1330
01:09:46,680 --> 01:09:48,919
It's a shame
they only make semen, isn't it?

1331
01:09:48,920 --> 01:09:50,479
If they made tomato soup,

1332
01:09:50,480 --> 01:09:53,080
you could share a nice mug of it
in bed afterwards.

1333
01:09:54,200 --> 01:09:57,480
Is it harder to enter
the kingdom of heaven since Brexit?

1334
01:09:59,520 --> 01:10:03,319
I don't think Brexit has anything to do
with the kingdom of heaven

1335
01:10:03,320 --> 01:10:04,839
or hell for that matter.

1336
01:10:04,840 --> 01:10:08,079
My mate Paul says
if you look in a mirror for about an hour,

1337
01:10:08,080 --> 01:10:12,359
it's possible to trick your consciousness
into thinking it's inside the other you,

1338
01:10:12,360 --> 01:10:16,040
and then you can run off
before it can jump back out and get you.

1339
01:10:16,920 --> 01:10:20,559
He said he managed it once,
but a second after he started running,

1340
01:10:20,560 --> 01:10:22,839
he caught his balls on a door handle

1341
01:10:22,840 --> 01:10:25,079
and ended up rolling around
on the floor in agony

1342
01:10:25,080 --> 01:10:28,240
while his consciousness watched him
from the mirror, pissing itself.

1343
01:10:29,280 --> 01:10:32,480
I don't think
your consciousness can go inside a mirror.

1344
01:10:33,560 --> 01:10:34,760
I do worry about Paul.

1345
01:10:36,600 --> 01:10:39,360
I think he just hasn't found
his role in society.

1346
01:10:40,000 --> 01:10:41,560
So you're in the Big Bang gang?

1347
01:10:42,520 --> 01:10:43,439
The Big Bang...?

1348
01:10:43,440 --> 01:10:46,159
- Gang. The Big Bang gang.
- The Big Bang gang?

1349
01:10:46,160 --> 01:10:47,479
We're all in the Big Bang gang.

1350
01:10:47,480 --> 01:10:48,599
- Are we?
- Yeah.

1351
01:10:48,600 --> 01:10:51,399
Could you say that
down that lens there, please?

1352
01:10:51,400 --> 01:10:54,159
I'm in the Big Bang gang.
You're in the Big Bang gang.

1353
01:10:54,160 --> 01:10:57,320
- You're in the Big Bang gang.
- We're all in the Big Bang gang.