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Downloaded from
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[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.BZ
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[MUSIC CONCLUDES]
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[OWL HOWLING]
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CHILD: Dakotakid.
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I'm here to impart my wisdom
about what I've learned in life.
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I'm not going to lie to you.
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Or sugarcoat anything
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because that wouldn't
benefit either of us.
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ALAN: [WITH AMERICAN ACCENT]
You're a miracle.
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Yeah. I don't deserve you.
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The rich are happier.
There, I said it.
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No one will ever love you
more than me.
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I will... I will...
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I will tear down walls
with my bare hands
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if they get in your way.
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All that crap about money
being the root of all evil.
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Do you know who says that?
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Poor people.
Poor people say that.
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I will make absolutely sure
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that you have every opportunity
that life has to offer.
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With money comes
time and freedom.
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And those two together
are the key to life.
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You tell me what you need.
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Okay? What do you need?
You want me to...
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Want me to dance?
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I could... I could dance.
I could... I could sing?
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So how do you make money?
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Well, you could...
be a professional athlete, or...
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or a movie star.
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[SINGS] ♪ Then the traveler
In the dark ♪
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♪ Thanks you
For your tiny spark! ♪
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But those rely on luck.
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And you can't rely on luck.
Not with our family.
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♪ He does not know
Which way to go ♪
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♪ If you did not twinkle, so! ♪
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LAUREN: What are you singing?
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Uh, "Twinkle, Twinkle".
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BRIAN: So the only way
to guarantee success
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is with an education.
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Now, education nowadays
is like a...
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like a domino effect.
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In order to get into
a prestigious university,
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you have to get
into a prominent grammar school.
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And in order to get
into a prominent grammar school,
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you have to get into
a top-notch primary school.
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And in order to prepare you
for a top-notch primary school,
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you have to go to a great...
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preschool.
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[BABY CRIES IN THE DISTANCE]
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I thought you were...
I thought you were sleeping.
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Are you in full hair and makeup?
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I don't know.
ALAN: Beautiful.
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Can I get you anything?
Champagne?
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Sure.
Some balloons?
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Yep. Well, we got the...
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Oh, good.
We did it!
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LAUREN: I know.
You did it!
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This is what a good education
can do for you.
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And I will make sure
that you get it.
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[PATIENT COUGHS]
[BRIAN SHUSHES]
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[BABY COOS]
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What are you shushing her for?
She just had a baby.
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Not my baby, was it?
[LAUGHS] Stop it, Brian!
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Have you noticed
that he's the quietest?
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[BABY GRACE CRIES]
Hi, Momma.
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SARAH: [GROANS]
Oh, let's get in bed.
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Stop!
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[GENTLE GUITAR MUSIC PLAYING]
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Hello. Oh.
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[GROANS]
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You just leave it to me.
I'll take care of everything.
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I'll take care of everything.
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I promise.
I promise you.
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[CHEERFUL INSTRUMENTAL
MUSIC PLAYING]
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BRIAN: [IMITATES PUNCHING,
CHOKING SOUNDS]
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Goodness, you're a psychopath,
aren't you?
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You're going to be a killer!
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There you go.
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There you go.
You're getting it. Hey!
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Hey, that could be you one day.
[COOS]
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You can do anything
you set your mind to, Gracie.
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What are you doing?
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She wanted to practice walking.
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She's six months old.
It's midnight.
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MONKEY: [On TV] Oh, hi, guys.
Hey, guess what?
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I put on my own pants
this morning. Did you?
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Right, I'm off. You all right?
Okay, babe.
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BRIAN: "Time To Get Dressed"
with the Wild and the Crazies?
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You're de-educating him.
Oh, right.
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I taught him how
to get dressed months ago.
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Just let him enjoy it.
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Flap it over like that.
Flap it over like that.
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Isn't that brilliant?
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[CHILDREN LAUGH, CHEER]
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An astronaut goes like this.
[WOOSHES]
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You're on the moon.
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The moon is right
out there, honey.
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The moon's right out there.
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Name all
the countries for Mummy, go.
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Afghanistan, Albania,
Algeria, Andorra, Angola,
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Antigua and Barbuda, Argentina,
Armenia, Australia, Austria,
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Azerbaijan, Bahamas,
Bahrain, Bangladesh,
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Barbados, Belarus, Belgium,
Belize, Benin, Bhutan,
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Bolivia, Bosnia and Herzegovina,
Botswana, Brazil, Brunei,
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Bulgaria, Burkina Faso,
Burundi, Cabo Verde,
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Cambodia, Cameroon, Canada...
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[GROANS]
Hi, baby.
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Babe, I think he's ready.
[CLICKS TONGUE, GROANS]
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We should check out some places.
And they're incredible.
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Yeah. Okay.
Time for night-nights, isn't it?
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[CHEERFUL INSTRUMENTAL
MUSIC PLAYING]
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[CHILDREN CHATTER]
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SARAH: Aw, it's so cute!
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BRIAN: Bubba! This way.
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[MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY]
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Oh.
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[CHILDREN CHATTER, LAUGHING]
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How's my tie?
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Relax. Just relax.
You look great.
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Do I?
Yeah.
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Ready? Yeah.
Yeah.
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You sure?
Come on! Come on!
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Right, babe, I'm not gonna let
these people intimidate us.
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No, we belong here.
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TEACHER: Down here then.
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This is the Oxford
of preschools.
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Did you know 82%
of its graduates
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are multi-millionaires now?
Oh, yeah. Who told you that?
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It's true, honestly.
Well...
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Look at them, bub.
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[SIGHS]
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Right, look at me. Come here.
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I know you want the best
for Dylan. I think it's lovely.
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But let's just make sure
we like it
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before we start
planning his graduation.
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Do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
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BRIAN: [SMOOCHES] I love you.
SARAH: [SMOOCHES] Right, cool.
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BRIAN: I belong here, babe.
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[INTRIGUING PLAYFUL
MUSIC PLAYING]
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[MUSIC CONCLUDES]
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Oh, sorry, mate. Sorry.
Oh.
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Did you see that, love?
What? Do you mean,
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did I see the five-year-old
glued to his phone? Yeah, I did.
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I think it's a bit young,
don't you?
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No, 'cause he was
checking the stock market.
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LAUREN: It's not dissimilar
to where I went.
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But we didn't
have duckling racing.
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It's very nice.
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[DOOR OPENS]
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This is smart. [CLEARS THROAT]
Yeah, all the famous alumni.
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Why have they got Mr. Bean up?
BRIAN: Mr. Bean!
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[CHUCKLES] Sorry. Hiya.
Hello.
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We're going on a tour.
Pardon me?
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We're going on a tour.
BRIAN: What'd you say?
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We're...
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Good morning. Good morning.
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I'm Sylvia Lawrence,
Director of Admissions.
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Hi. Sylvia. Brian.
Pleased to meet you.
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SARAH: Sarah. Hiya.
Lovely to meet you.
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[GASPS] It's lovely
to see you both again.
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It's good to see you again,
Sylvia.
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SYLVIA: Good to see you.
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Now, uh, I'm afraid
I'm running short on time today,
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so I've had to schedule
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both of your
introductory tours together.
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I hope that's okay.
SARAH: It's fine with us.
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And us.
SYLVIA: Great.
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Did you get a chance to meet?
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Brian and Sarah Young,
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this is Alan
and Lauren Williams.
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SARAH: Hiya.
Hi.
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Yo.Hi.
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SYLVIA: Okay, well, welcome
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to Puggsley's
Academy of Excellence.
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This is where
we prepare children
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for every aspect of life.
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We take children from four,
all the way through to 18.
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We would teach,
well, Dylan and Grace,
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how to capitalize
on their strengths
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by... by helping them
build up their weaknesses
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so that they have the...
the confidence to tackle
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any obstacle that might
present itself in their future.
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00:08:26,288 --> 00:08:27,332
Mm. Yeah.
Yeah.
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00:08:27,681 --> 00:08:32,468
Now, uh, most preschools
run half days.
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Here at Puggsley,
we're on full days.
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That's great.
SYLVIA: Five days a week.
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00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:38,996
Workshops for the children
every other weekend.
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00:08:39,083 --> 00:08:40,171
What kind of workshops?
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00:08:40,563 --> 00:08:45,176
Oh, they can range from AI
through to Anglo-Saxon poetry.
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00:08:45,263 --> 00:08:47,091
Anglo-Saxon? They were before
the Normans, weren't they?
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00:08:47,222 --> 00:08:48,658
SYLVIA: Very good.
English history.
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00:08:48,745 --> 00:08:49,833
SYLVIA: Absolutely.
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00:08:50,312 --> 00:08:55,186
Our motto here at Puggsley is,
uh, Puer paratus, puer felix.
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"A prepared child..."
"...is a successful child."
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00:08:57,580 --> 00:08:59,451
Oh, my God.
SYLVIA: Excellent.
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00:09:00,061 --> 00:09:01,932
Now, we only accept
the best here,
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00:09:02,193 --> 00:09:03,630
and we make no apologies
for that.
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00:09:04,195 --> 00:09:07,329
We want to create an environment
where students push themselves
201
00:09:07,416 --> 00:09:09,679
well past their potential.
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00:09:09,766 --> 00:09:11,768
Uh, after all,
you can only get smarter
203
00:09:12,290 --> 00:09:15,119
if you play a smarter opponent.
Ah, steel sharpens steel.
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00:09:15,206 --> 00:09:16,991
Lemons make lemonade.
What?
205
00:09:17,731 --> 00:09:18,906
They do. Yes.
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00:09:18,993 --> 00:09:20,647
Um... All right.
207
00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:22,779
Uh, if you'd like
to follow me to my office,
208
00:09:22,866 --> 00:09:25,739
I'd like to speak to you
about something rather delicate.
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00:09:26,043 --> 00:09:28,524
BRIAN: What's going on?
I'm... Yeah, losing it.
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00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:30,744
SARAH: Thanks.
Oh, no, please, please.
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00:09:30,874 --> 00:09:32,528
ALAN: No, no, you have to...
Honestly.
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00:09:32,746 --> 00:09:35,052
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
213
00:09:35,139 --> 00:09:36,314
Every year at Puggsley's,
214
00:09:36,445 --> 00:09:39,840
um, we have a limited number
of spaces. Obviously.
215
00:09:40,275 --> 00:09:43,452
The siblings of current students
and alumnus get first priority.
216
00:09:43,539 --> 00:09:44,584
Then, uh...
217
00:09:44,975 --> 00:09:46,760
whatever slots are left,
we offer to new children.
218
00:09:47,499 --> 00:09:51,025
But this year, we only
have one slot. [CHUCKLES]
219
00:09:51,112 --> 00:09:54,115
But we've narrowed it down
to your two children.
220
00:09:54,637 --> 00:09:57,292
So, uh, in order
to help us decide
221
00:09:57,379 --> 00:09:59,555
which one of your children
we're accepting,
222
00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:05,256
you'll need to write up a thesis
on your child by this Wednesday.
223
00:10:05,343 --> 00:10:06,388
But no more than 20 pages.
224
00:10:06,475 --> 00:10:07,694
Twenty pages?
Today's Monday!
225
00:10:07,998 --> 00:10:10,435
Yeah, I know, but please,
don't feel under any pressure.
226
00:10:10,522 --> 00:10:12,829
Your... your children both
seemed like excellent candidates
227
00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:13,917
when I met them last week.
228
00:10:14,439 --> 00:10:17,747
All right. So this thesis, uh,
what should it be about?
229
00:10:17,834 --> 00:10:20,402
Any volunteer work
your child has done,
230
00:10:20,489 --> 00:10:23,492
or, you know,
concerts they've given.
231
00:10:24,058 --> 00:10:25,233
We'll make it up.
232
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:29,629
Then, uh, we'll have
the father's presentation.
233
00:10:29,716 --> 00:10:31,456
Sorry, what was that one?
Father's what?
234
00:10:31,543 --> 00:10:33,110
SYLVIA:
The father's presentation.
235
00:10:33,197 --> 00:10:35,199
That's, uh, that's this Friday.
236
00:10:35,286 --> 00:10:36,810
But that should only
take about an hour.
237
00:10:37,158 --> 00:10:41,118
Um, then we'll sit down
with both families next Monday
238
00:10:41,249 --> 00:10:42,554
before we make
our final decision.
239
00:10:43,381 --> 00:10:45,427
We're not just choosing
a child here at Puggsley,
240
00:10:45,514 --> 00:10:46,515
we're choosing a family.
241
00:10:46,907 --> 00:10:48,648
All right, uh, shall we...
shall we take a walk,
242
00:10:48,735 --> 00:10:49,866
and I'll show you around?
243
00:10:50,693 --> 00:10:54,871
[PLAYFUL DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
244
00:10:59,006 --> 00:11:00,268
[MUSIC FADES]
245
00:11:00,398 --> 00:11:02,009
Now, look.
246
00:11:02,139 --> 00:11:04,446
The children do Tai Chi
in the morning
247
00:11:04,533 --> 00:11:07,405
and have meditation time
in the afternoons.
248
00:11:08,015 --> 00:11:10,234
All the research shows,
and we certainly feel,
249
00:11:10,321 --> 00:11:13,585
that these activities help
raise their concentration levels
250
00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:15,936
and lower their stress levels.
251
00:11:16,110 --> 00:11:19,679
[IN LATIN]
I don't actually speak Latin, do you?
252
00:11:19,896 --> 00:11:20,897
Mm.
253
00:11:20,984 --> 00:11:22,072
[EASTERN MUSIC PLAYING]
254
00:11:22,159 --> 00:11:23,378
["SPRING" PLAYING]
255
00:11:23,508 --> 00:11:25,859
[IN ENGLISH]
This is our conservatoire,
256
00:11:26,424 --> 00:11:29,514
where we teach our children
a variety of instruments.
257
00:11:29,993 --> 00:11:32,561
Right, well, we should
probably leave them to it.
258
00:11:33,214 --> 00:11:34,476
Really amazing.
259
00:11:35,303 --> 00:11:37,697
All right, please, after you.
260
00:11:42,353 --> 00:11:44,616
Do, uh, do Dylan and Grace play?
261
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:45,705
ALL: Yes.
262
00:11:45,792 --> 00:11:46,880
Oh, which instruments?
263
00:11:47,010 --> 00:11:48,098
Piano.
Violin.
264
00:11:48,272 --> 00:11:49,621
Oh, the violin.
265
00:11:50,057 --> 00:11:52,581
The violin can elicit
such emotion.
266
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:53,974
I just adore the violin.
267
00:11:55,410 --> 00:11:58,195
But the piano... [CLICKS TONGUE]
...now that's my secret love.
268
00:11:58,543 --> 00:12:00,850
I just can't
go to sleep at night
269
00:12:01,242 --> 00:12:04,027
until I unwind
by tinkling the ivories.
270
00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:07,378
Sylvia, I just have
to say that Lauren and I
271
00:12:07,509 --> 00:12:08,945
are very impressed
with your school.
272
00:12:09,032 --> 00:12:11,600
We think you've done a
wonderful job with the children.
273
00:12:11,687 --> 00:12:13,515
Thank you, Mr. Williams.
That's very nice of you to say.
274
00:12:14,037 --> 00:12:16,126
Yes. Sarah and I agree.
We're both really impressed.
275
00:12:16,213 --> 00:12:17,737
We love how you've trained
the children.
276
00:12:17,824 --> 00:12:20,348
It's incredible, isn't it?
SARAH: Trained? Yeah.
277
00:12:20,435 --> 00:12:21,523
BRIAN: Yeah.
278
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,394
Uh, we also have quite
a stellar science lab,
279
00:12:23,481 --> 00:12:25,396
but I'm afraid
it's closed right now.
280
00:12:25,483 --> 00:12:27,790
We have
a science fair next week,
281
00:12:27,921 --> 00:12:29,531
so the room's
filled with projects.
282
00:12:29,705 --> 00:12:31,054
Can't be disturbed.
Mrs. Lawrence,
283
00:12:31,185 --> 00:12:33,100
I'm very sorry to bother you.
Is there a lavatory nearby?
284
00:12:33,187 --> 00:12:35,102
Yes. I'm afraid we're going to
have to go back up the stairs.
285
00:12:35,232 --> 00:12:36,538
Back up the stairs.
Along the corridor.
286
00:12:36,625 --> 00:12:38,018
BRIAN: Along the corridor.
SYLVIA: Take a right...
287
00:12:38,105 --> 00:12:39,149
Yeah, I've got it. Thank you.
288
00:12:39,541 --> 00:12:41,543
Then it's round to the...
Yeah. Yeah. He'll find it.
289
00:12:41,630 --> 00:12:44,981
Now, fencing piste?
Yeah.
290
00:12:46,722 --> 00:12:48,811
BRIAN: Science lab.
Let's see what you got.
291
00:12:49,159 --> 00:12:51,683
[PLAYFUL INTRIGUING
MUSIC PLAYING]
292
00:12:59,343 --> 00:13:01,781
BRIAN: Bioreactor.
What is that?
293
00:13:04,871 --> 00:13:06,611
The Plastic Eater.
294
00:13:08,309 --> 00:13:10,877
Oh! My God.
295
00:13:17,884 --> 00:13:20,408
Oh, no. Oh, God. Oh, God.
296
00:13:20,495 --> 00:13:23,411
No, no, no, no. Stop, stop!
297
00:13:24,281 --> 00:13:27,371
No. Oh, this is ridiculous.
298
00:13:27,458 --> 00:13:30,766
This is mad.
It'll be fine, it'll be fine.
299
00:13:30,853 --> 00:13:32,986
Okay, the most
unoriginal science project
300
00:13:33,073 --> 00:13:34,814
in the history
of science projects.
301
00:13:35,031 --> 00:13:36,076
Cue Lava.
302
00:13:36,206 --> 00:13:38,469
[VOLCANO BUZZES]
303
00:13:38,556 --> 00:13:39,688
[SIGHS]
304
00:13:50,394 --> 00:13:53,571
[PEOPLE CHATTER IN DISTANCE]
305
00:13:56,966 --> 00:13:58,620
SYLVIA: We have a wonderful
language department.
306
00:13:58,707 --> 00:14:00,491
So, we cover all the languages
307
00:14:00,578 --> 00:14:02,102
that you could
possibly want to study.
308
00:14:02,189 --> 00:14:03,712
We don't just teach
modern foreign languages here.
309
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,932
We, uh,
cover any language, really.
310
00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:09,283
Arabic, Mandarin.
We also do Cantonese, Russian.
311
00:14:09,370 --> 00:14:11,154
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
SYLVIA: Oh, sorry. One moment.
312
00:14:11,415 --> 00:14:12,503
Yep.
313
00:14:12,721 --> 00:14:13,983
What's that on your face?
What have you got?
314
00:14:15,245 --> 00:14:18,553
Sorry, I'm afraid there's been
an incident in the science lab.
315
00:14:18,683 --> 00:14:19,684
It's quite a mess.
316
00:14:19,771 --> 00:14:21,773
Well, how...
how big a mess is it?
317
00:14:22,513 --> 00:14:24,515
I thought the science lab...
SARAH: What did you do?
318
00:14:24,602 --> 00:14:26,387
SYLVIA: So it's beyond repair?
Oh?
319
00:14:28,911 --> 00:14:30,957
SYLVIA: All right.
Could you secure it, please?
320
00:14:31,087 --> 00:14:32,132
Thank you.
321
00:14:32,654 --> 00:14:34,264
I'm so sorry, I'm going to have
to cut this meeting short.
322
00:14:34,351 --> 00:14:36,788
I... I do apologize.
Thank you all for coming in.
323
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,573
We'll make
our decision next week.
324
00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:40,705
Right, wish you all the best.
Thank you.
325
00:14:41,054 --> 00:14:42,098
SYLVIA: Oh.
326
00:14:42,403 --> 00:14:44,013
I just got to say, it's so nice
to meet you, Sylvia.
327
00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:45,362
SYLVIA: Oh, and to you
and your wife.
328
00:14:45,449 --> 00:14:46,886
I think we have some friends
in common.
329
00:14:46,973 --> 00:14:48,757
We should, I don't know,
lunch sometime.
330
00:14:48,844 --> 00:14:49,889
Lovely to meet you,
Mrs. Lawrence.
331
00:14:49,976 --> 00:14:51,151
Thank you so much for...
332
00:14:51,238 --> 00:14:52,413
[KISSES]
...taking the time for that.
333
00:14:52,587 --> 00:14:54,545
Can I call you Sylvia,
like he called you Sylvia?
334
00:14:54,676 --> 00:14:56,983
All right, Brian... [CHUCKLES]
...I'll see you both Friday.
335
00:14:57,070 --> 00:14:58,158
See ya. See youse Friday.
After you.
336
00:14:58,288 --> 00:14:59,289
Please.Uh, uh, uh...
337
00:14:59,376 --> 00:15:00,682
No, please, just... you go.
338
00:15:01,074 --> 00:15:02,945
All right, we'll see you.
See you later.
339
00:15:03,163 --> 00:15:06,514
[BELLS CHIME]
340
00:15:09,604 --> 00:15:11,214
Look, I... I feel
I should address
341
00:15:11,301 --> 00:15:12,694
the elephant in the room.
342
00:15:12,824 --> 00:15:13,913
[CHUCKLES]
343
00:15:14,130 --> 00:15:15,784
I... I would hate
for something like this
344
00:15:15,871 --> 00:15:18,134
to throw a wedge
between our families.
345
00:15:18,265 --> 00:15:20,789
Thank you. Yeah, I was...
I was gonna say the same thing.
346
00:15:20,876 --> 00:15:21,877
[CHUCKLES]
347
00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:24,314
Well?
Yeah.
348
00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:26,882
Why don't you guys
come over for dinner tonight?
349
00:15:27,013 --> 00:15:29,276
It'll give us
a chance to get acquainted.
350
00:15:31,017 --> 00:15:33,236
Yeah, you know what?
That's actually... That's good.
351
00:15:33,323 --> 00:15:35,760
We should be friends.
We shouldn't be enemies, right?
352
00:15:35,847 --> 00:15:36,936
Great. What time?
353
00:15:37,023 --> 00:15:38,024
Uh...
354
00:15:38,459 --> 00:15:40,200
7:00?
Perfect.
355
00:15:43,464 --> 00:15:44,465
Okay.
356
00:15:47,424 --> 00:15:48,556
What was that about?
357
00:15:49,470 --> 00:15:51,037
You didn't even ask
if I was okay with it.
358
00:15:51,124 --> 00:15:52,908
What do you mean, dinner?
[MUTTERS]
359
00:15:52,995 --> 00:15:54,475
You said you want
us all to be mates.
360
00:15:54,562 --> 00:15:56,651
I know, but we have
to start writing our paper.
361
00:15:56,781 --> 00:15:57,826
It's due on Wednesday.
362
00:15:58,174 --> 00:16:00,089
I'll work on it tomorrow.
I'm a really good writer.
363
00:16:00,916 --> 00:16:03,788
Uh, no, you're not.
Yeah, I am. I'm really good.
364
00:16:03,875 --> 00:16:04,789
Okay.
365
00:16:10,491 --> 00:16:11,448
Brian, what is up with you?
366
00:16:11,796 --> 00:16:13,320
You've got that 1000 yard stare
in your eyes.
367
00:16:14,756 --> 00:16:18,151
Right, okay. We need to know
what Dylan's up against.
368
00:16:18,238 --> 00:16:21,284
So, I figure
we go around there, meet Grace,
369
00:16:21,415 --> 00:16:22,503
scope out his competition.
370
00:16:23,460 --> 00:16:24,809
Scope out the competition?
BRIAN: Mm-hmm.
371
00:16:24,896 --> 00:16:26,724
Oh, my God, you are insane.
372
00:16:26,898 --> 00:16:28,335
Remember
what Michael Corleone said,
373
00:16:28,422 --> 00:16:30,119
"Keep your friends close,
but your enemies even closer."
374
00:16:30,206 --> 00:16:31,555
And they're enemies.
Mm.
375
00:16:31,642 --> 00:16:32,817
That was Sun Tzu, you moron.
376
00:16:33,122 --> 00:16:34,471
Right, I don't care
whose son said it.
377
00:16:37,822 --> 00:16:38,910
[SCOFFS] I hate him.
378
00:16:39,737 --> 00:16:41,478
He is so smarmy, isn't he?
379
00:16:42,653 --> 00:16:44,481
Smarm. He oozes smarm.
380
00:16:44,568 --> 00:16:45,743
I gotta hand it to you, honey.
381
00:16:45,917 --> 00:16:47,528
The way you made him think
we're not competitive.
382
00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:49,312
You got them
to let their guard down.
383
00:16:49,399 --> 00:16:50,313
I'm not competitive.
384
00:16:50,661 --> 00:16:52,011
And I've no intention
of fighting for a spot
385
00:16:52,098 --> 00:16:53,403
in some pretentious preschool.
386
00:16:53,490 --> 00:16:55,014
Ah, that's good. That's good.
387
00:16:55,536 --> 00:16:56,972
Know your opponent
inside and out.
388
00:16:57,581 --> 00:16:58,974
It's the first lesson
in The Art of War.
389
00:16:59,453 --> 00:17:00,454
Thought that was Lady Gaga.
390
00:17:02,717 --> 00:17:04,501
[CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
391
00:17:07,722 --> 00:17:09,376
[COMMENTARY ON TV]
Forty-five thousand?
392
00:17:10,551 --> 00:17:11,465
For a preschool?
393
00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:14,163
Are you out of your mind?
You can't pay that.
394
00:17:14,294 --> 00:17:16,557
No price is too much
for our child's future, Dad.
395
00:17:16,644 --> 00:17:17,906
Well, what in the world
are they doing
396
00:17:17,993 --> 00:17:20,561
that's any different
than ordinary preschool?
397
00:17:20,648 --> 00:17:22,998
Ah, well, for starters,
they've blended the best
398
00:17:23,085 --> 00:17:24,695
educational theories
and practices
399
00:17:24,782 --> 00:17:26,567
to create this school,
and every child
400
00:17:26,654 --> 00:17:28,482
is seen as unique and special.
401
00:17:28,830 --> 00:17:31,093
Every child's unique
and special!
402
00:17:31,180 --> 00:17:34,836
I can find you a preschool
for a fraction of the money.
403
00:17:34,923 --> 00:17:36,620
Like you found me a preschool
when I was Dylan's age?
404
00:17:36,707 --> 00:17:38,448
There weren't any preschools!
405
00:17:38,622 --> 00:17:40,885
There was. There was loads, Dad.
Loads of 'em!
406
00:17:41,147 --> 00:17:43,366
[SCOFFS] Boo-hoo!
407
00:17:46,239 --> 00:17:47,240
What?
408
00:17:47,588 --> 00:17:50,330
If I'd sent you to a preschool,
you'd have ended up
409
00:17:50,417 --> 00:17:51,896
Prime Minister
or something, would you?
410
00:17:51,983 --> 00:17:53,028
I might have done, yeah.
411
00:17:53,376 --> 00:17:55,248
I might-- At least
I'd have what Jeff's got.
412
00:17:55,335 --> 00:17:56,510
You sent him private school.
413
00:17:56,814 --> 00:17:58,599
Instead of sending me, you
bought yourself a bloody Isuzu.
414
00:17:58,729 --> 00:17:59,774
I needed that pickup
415
00:18:00,035 --> 00:18:01,471
for my work!
Right.
416
00:18:01,558 --> 00:18:04,344
Why do you have to whine
like a baby?
417
00:18:04,605 --> 00:18:05,867
We've been through this.
418
00:18:05,997 --> 00:18:08,130
You were older
and there was no money.
419
00:18:08,217 --> 00:18:10,045
BRIAN: Okay,
if there was no money, Dad,
420
00:18:10,306 --> 00:18:11,394
how did you manage to swing
421
00:18:11,525 --> 00:18:13,614
all those ridiculous
Sasquatch conventions?
422
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,877
Surely my education
was more important
423
00:18:15,964 --> 00:18:17,400
than swapping
conspiracy theories?
424
00:18:18,923 --> 00:18:20,969
[OMINOUS GROWL IN DISTANCE]
425
00:18:21,796 --> 00:18:24,538
You don't know what's out there.
And neither do you.
426
00:18:24,886 --> 00:18:26,409
[CHUCKLES]
427
00:18:26,496 --> 00:18:27,671
JEFF: Oi, oi!
Yeah.
428
00:18:28,194 --> 00:18:29,369
Brilliant. Jeff's here.
429
00:18:33,329 --> 00:18:35,636
What are you doing here, Jeff?
What are you two doing in there?
430
00:18:36,506 --> 00:18:38,029
All right, come on.
I'm not stopping long.
431
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:39,205
Got you something.
432
00:18:41,424 --> 00:18:42,947
God, that fridge stinks.
433
00:18:45,820 --> 00:18:46,864
[SCOFFS]
434
00:18:48,997 --> 00:18:50,520
Mm, all right?
435
00:18:50,868 --> 00:18:52,827
Very good, are you?
Fine, what you been doing?
436
00:18:53,262 --> 00:18:55,264
Is that bird poo on your jumper?
Bird poo?
437
00:18:55,656 --> 00:18:59,312
No, Father, this is, uh,
Pierre Jean Leclerc. Very posh.
438
00:18:59,486 --> 00:19:00,574
Will I get you one
for Christmas?
439
00:19:00,661 --> 00:19:01,792
No, no, I'm good, son.
440
00:19:01,966 --> 00:19:03,403
He's fine.
What's this?
441
00:19:03,968 --> 00:19:07,537
Oh, yeah, I, um, I got Dylan
some new clothes for his school.
442
00:19:12,890 --> 00:19:14,588
That's really nice.
[CHUCKLES] Yeah, it's 'cause
443
00:19:14,718 --> 00:19:16,981
the, uh, the designer of that
sold out her entire collection
444
00:19:17,068 --> 00:19:18,679
in three hours.
445
00:19:18,809 --> 00:19:20,855
So, I pulled some strings,
and here we are.
446
00:19:20,942 --> 00:19:23,510
What, you had to pull strings
to get a kid some clothes?
447
00:19:23,858 --> 00:19:26,121
I don't know which one
of the two of you are crazier.
448
00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:28,167
You never bought me anything
449
00:19:28,384 --> 00:19:29,820
that would help me fit in
in my school.
450
00:19:29,951 --> 00:19:30,952
No, it wasn't your wardrobe
451
00:19:31,082 --> 00:19:32,562
stopped you fitting in
at school, son.
452
00:19:32,910 --> 00:19:34,129
It was your bowl haircut.
453
00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:35,739
[ALL LAUGHING]
454
00:19:35,826 --> 00:19:38,002
I mean, you cut my hair
back then, so--
455
00:19:38,089 --> 00:19:39,439
It's brilliant. Thanks.
Jeff, you did look like
456
00:19:39,526 --> 00:19:41,310
a massive mushroom back then,
you really did.
457
00:19:41,441 --> 00:19:43,225
You did. I'm glad I stopped by.
This has been fab.
458
00:19:43,617 --> 00:19:45,706
Right, I would love to chat
to you lesbians about fashion,
459
00:19:45,836 --> 00:19:49,840
but I have a hot yoga retreat
in the Cotswolds to attend,
460
00:19:49,927 --> 00:19:51,668
so, um, see you later.
461
00:19:54,584 --> 00:19:56,630
All right, mate. See you later.
See you later, mate.
462
00:19:59,459 --> 00:20:00,721
All right, babes. You okay?
463
00:20:02,636 --> 00:20:03,637
Let's go.
464
00:20:04,638 --> 00:20:06,379
[CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
465
00:20:07,380 --> 00:20:08,772
See ya.
466
00:20:10,905 --> 00:20:11,819
Okay.
467
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:21,611
Are you speaking to me?
468
00:20:25,789 --> 00:20:27,138
I don't see anybody else
in the room.
469
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:28,096
Are you talking...
470
00:20:28,488 --> 00:20:29,837
are you talking about me
behind me back and that?
471
00:20:31,055 --> 00:20:32,970
'Cause I don't--
You must be if you're not--
472
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:36,278
SARAH: Babe? I'm not really
sure about that school.
473
00:20:36,713 --> 00:20:38,846
None of the kids played
or laughed.
474
00:20:39,368 --> 00:20:40,456
Didn't really feel
like children.
475
00:20:40,630 --> 00:20:42,110
D'you know what I mean?
BRIAN: No, not really.
476
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:43,633
The school's
bloody perfect, bubba.
477
00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:45,113
SARAH: Okay.
Can you come here please?
478
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,289
I need your help.
I need to find the right look.
479
00:20:48,072 --> 00:20:49,204
I'm looking to be like a cross
480
00:20:49,291 --> 00:20:51,293
between intimidating
and confident.
481
00:20:51,554 --> 00:20:52,947
Okay. Why do you need
to be intimidating?
482
00:20:53,121 --> 00:20:54,470
[SCOFFS] I need
to make Alan nervous, don't I?
483
00:20:54,557 --> 00:20:55,993
So he can spill the beans
on his strategy.
484
00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:58,474
Okay, well, that's definitely
not intimidating.
485
00:20:58,735 --> 00:20:59,693
BRIAN: At all?
At all.
486
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:01,999
Why though?
Give me a good reason. SARAH: No. No, it's not sexy.
487
00:21:01,999 --> 00:21:03,087
It's clown-like.
BRIAN: White on blue.
488
00:21:03,305 --> 00:21:04,611
Don't like it.
Please take it off. BRIAN: Oh.
489
00:21:05,002 --> 00:21:05,873
SARAH: Doesn't work, babe.
490
00:21:06,569 --> 00:21:08,310
I don't like it.
Why?
491
00:21:08,745 --> 00:21:11,270
[INHALES] Anyway, trust me,
Alan's not as crazy as you.
492
00:21:11,357 --> 00:21:12,619
He's not gonna have a strategy.
493
00:21:12,967 --> 00:21:14,795
I know they have a strategy.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
494
00:21:14,882 --> 00:21:17,537
I just have to figure out
what it is. [EXHALES]
495
00:21:18,973 --> 00:21:20,670
LAUREN: You've officially
lost your mind.
496
00:21:20,931 --> 00:21:23,194
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
497
00:21:27,024 --> 00:21:28,939
[INHALES DEEPLY, EXHALES]
498
00:21:49,743 --> 00:21:50,700
[ENGINE SHUTS OFF]
499
00:21:51,179 --> 00:21:52,485
[KEYS JANGLING]
[CAR DOOR OPENING]
500
00:22:00,580 --> 00:22:04,410
Baby, I think this is the house
out of your poster.
501
00:22:04,714 --> 00:22:07,195
I don't believe it. This man
is living my dream life.
502
00:22:08,501 --> 00:22:10,024
No, look,
it's completely different
503
00:22:10,111 --> 00:22:11,112
'cause my picture doesn't have
504
00:22:11,199 --> 00:22:12,635
that weird statue in it,
does it?
505
00:22:14,724 --> 00:22:16,596
What is it? Oh, looks like--
506
00:22:16,683 --> 00:22:18,989
Is that giant gnome hol--
Is it holding a baby?
507
00:22:19,076 --> 00:22:20,861
I don't think that's a baby.
It looks like a baby.
508
00:22:21,165 --> 00:22:22,602
[EERIE MUSIC PLAYING]
It's very creepy, though.
509
00:22:22,732 --> 00:22:24,473
Let's go before it curses us.
Come on.
510
00:22:30,087 --> 00:22:31,219
Hello!
SARAH: Hi.
511
00:22:31,306 --> 00:22:32,612
Welcome. [CHUCKLES]
SARAH: Thanks.
512
00:22:32,699 --> 00:22:33,874
Come in.
Oh, thank you.
513
00:22:34,309 --> 00:22:36,616
So glad you guys could make it.
Oh, wow. This place is amazing.
514
00:22:36,703 --> 00:22:38,052
Make yourself at home.
515
00:22:38,661 --> 00:22:41,708
Can I take your coats?
Oh, thanks. Yeah. Hmm.
516
00:22:42,578 --> 00:22:44,667
Oh, sorry.
Oh!
517
00:22:46,060 --> 00:22:47,104
[GRANDFATHER CLOCK CHIMING]
SARAH: Oh.
518
00:22:47,191 --> 00:22:48,149
Oh.
SARAH: Hey.
519
00:22:48,758 --> 00:22:50,412
Oh, thank, uh, thanks.
Thank you.
520
00:22:50,499 --> 00:22:52,196
Can I get you some wine?
Red or white?
521
00:22:52,762 --> 00:22:54,895
Ei... Either. Um--
Oh, So... sorry.
522
00:22:55,112 --> 00:22:56,853
Red if you have it.
Roze!
523
00:22:57,550 --> 00:22:59,378
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
524
00:23:00,466 --> 00:23:01,684
I have a special little bottle
525
00:23:01,771 --> 00:23:02,946
tucked aside
for a night like this.
526
00:23:03,077 --> 00:23:04,470
Would you be a dear
and grab the wine?
527
00:23:04,557 --> 00:23:05,732
Of course, Ms. Lauren.
528
00:23:05,862 --> 00:23:07,386
Come!
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
529
00:23:11,477 --> 00:23:13,000
Ah. [EXHALES]
530
00:23:13,827 --> 00:23:15,872
Oh. [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
This is our angel, Grace.
531
00:23:16,003 --> 00:23:20,094
I hope you enjoy custard tarts.
I made them this afternoon.
532
00:23:20,268 --> 00:23:22,313
Hey, nice to meet you.
I love custard tarts.
533
00:23:22,401 --> 00:23:23,793
Thank you so much.
Thank you, cheers.
534
00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:24,751
Thank you.
535
00:23:25,621 --> 00:23:26,535
Oh!
Oh.
536
00:23:27,014 --> 00:23:28,755
Oh, my God.
SARAH: Oh! [LAUGHS]
537
00:23:28,972 --> 00:23:31,105
LAUREN: Getting so good at that.
You make mummy want to do one.
538
00:23:31,497 --> 00:23:32,802
ROZE: Would you like some wine?
539
00:23:33,107 --> 00:23:34,500
Thank you.
Sure. Thank you.
540
00:23:34,630 --> 00:23:35,892
Cheers. Thank you.
Thanks.
541
00:23:36,545 --> 00:23:37,416
Mmm!
542
00:23:38,721 --> 00:23:41,550
Ooh!
Very, um, uh, balanced.
543
00:23:42,203 --> 00:23:43,552
Full bodied.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
544
00:23:43,683 --> 00:23:44,771
Care for a tour?
Oh.
545
00:23:44,988 --> 00:23:46,555
Alan will be down in a minute.
546
00:23:46,642 --> 00:23:47,817
Let's go.
See you in a bit.
547
00:23:47,904 --> 00:23:48,905
BRIAN: See you in a bit.
548
00:23:50,037 --> 00:23:53,170
Oh, don't mind the ghosts.
Yeah.
549
00:23:57,218 --> 00:24:01,440
[LAUREN AND SARAH CHATTER
IN DISTANCE]
550
00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:07,968
That is... that is so good.
551
00:24:08,838 --> 00:24:10,144
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
552
00:24:10,274 --> 00:24:12,929
ALAN: Brian!
Oh, Alan!
553
00:24:13,277 --> 00:24:14,714
Welcome to my humble abode.
554
00:24:14,801 --> 00:24:16,629
[CHUCKLES]
[CHUCKLES]
555
00:24:17,456 --> 00:24:18,500
Oh.
556
00:24:19,196 --> 00:24:20,459
You got a little
something on your...
557
00:24:21,285 --> 00:24:22,243
Hmm.
558
00:24:28,989 --> 00:24:30,338
It's one of Grace's tarts.
559
00:24:31,513 --> 00:24:34,777
Yeah. Delicious, right?
Mm! So good.
560
00:24:34,951 --> 00:24:35,996
ALAN: Yeah.
561
00:24:36,257 --> 00:24:37,737
Oh, I got you
a little something here.
562
00:24:37,824 --> 00:24:39,347
I'm a bit of
a Dewar's collector.
563
00:24:40,043 --> 00:24:43,873
Yeah. It's a ridiculously
expensive pastime, but it's nice
564
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:45,658
to enjoy the finer things
with new friends.
565
00:24:46,049 --> 00:24:47,094
Cheers.
ALAN: Cheers.
566
00:24:50,184 --> 00:24:51,968
That's one way to enjoy it.
Ah!
567
00:24:53,796 --> 00:24:54,710
Oh!
568
00:24:55,885 --> 00:24:57,147
ALAN: It's, uh--
[EXHALES SHARPLY] That's...
569
00:24:58,105 --> 00:24:59,323
whiskey, isn't it?
ALAN: Yeah.
570
00:24:59,628 --> 00:25:01,717
It's, uh, it's actually one
of my favorite sipping whiskeys.
571
00:25:01,804 --> 00:25:03,589
[EXHALES SHARPLY, COUGHS]
572
00:25:04,807 --> 00:25:05,895
Ooh, yeah.
573
00:25:07,810 --> 00:25:09,072
Ah!
574
00:25:11,118 --> 00:25:13,076
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
So, how are things?
575
00:25:13,990 --> 00:25:16,906
I can't complain. You?
Good. Very good, actually.
576
00:25:17,777 --> 00:25:19,996
Good. I'm good... I'm good also.
577
00:25:20,736 --> 00:25:21,911
That's good.
BRIAN: Mm-hmm.
578
00:25:23,957 --> 00:25:25,262
[ALAN SIGHS]
579
00:25:33,923 --> 00:25:34,924
Crack on?
Yeah.
580
00:25:35,316 --> 00:25:36,752
Yeah. All right.
581
00:25:36,839 --> 00:25:37,927
SARAH: How did you
and Alan meet?
582
00:25:38,145 --> 00:25:39,886
Car crash.
Oh!
583
00:25:40,147 --> 00:25:41,844
Alan was in town
meeting with investors.
584
00:25:41,975 --> 00:25:44,064
He pulled
out of his parking spot
585
00:25:44,151 --> 00:25:46,370
and drove on the wrong side
of the road.
586
00:25:46,893 --> 00:25:51,071
I hit my brakes, and he--
Well, we bumped fenders.
587
00:25:51,506 --> 00:25:54,857
He was so apologetic
and so cute. [CHUCKLES]
588
00:25:55,118 --> 00:25:56,337
A week later,
we moved in together
589
00:25:56,424 --> 00:25:57,730
and he started his company here.
590
00:25:57,947 --> 00:26:00,167
Huh! Well, he was obviously
very successful. [CHUCKLES]
591
00:26:00,297 --> 00:26:02,256
Mmm, that one failed miserably.
592
00:26:02,778 --> 00:26:04,606
Oh.
How did you meet Brian?
593
00:26:04,780 --> 00:26:06,086
Panic attack.
Oh?
594
00:26:06,173 --> 00:26:08,262
His, not mine. [CHUCKLES]
[LAUGHS]
595
00:26:08,349 --> 00:26:10,873
Uh, yeah, back when he was doing
odd jobs as a handyman,
596
00:26:11,004 --> 00:26:13,572
he was hired to do some repairs
at the work that I was at then,
597
00:26:13,659 --> 00:26:16,270
and, um, well, he walked
straight into a spider's web
598
00:26:16,357 --> 00:26:18,011
and I've never heard
a man shriek so loud.
599
00:26:18,098 --> 00:26:19,012
[CHUCKLES]
Yeah.
600
00:26:19,099 --> 00:26:21,231
And I had to talk him down.
601
00:26:21,362 --> 00:26:24,191
And then yeah, I mean, I guess
it's just been love ever since.
602
00:26:24,452 --> 00:26:26,715
Super sexy.
So, he has arachnophobia?
603
00:26:27,629 --> 00:26:30,240
More like a fear of all bugs.
Oh! Never heard of that one.
604
00:26:31,415 --> 00:26:32,634
So, I gotta admit,
605
00:26:32,765 --> 00:26:34,549
I did a little reading
about your company.
606
00:26:35,115 --> 00:26:36,464
I guess I've not done
my homework, then.
607
00:26:36,551 --> 00:26:37,813
Yeah, I think
it's very admirable
608
00:26:37,900 --> 00:26:39,598
how you went
from working construction
609
00:26:39,859 --> 00:26:42,426
to risking it all by building
that giant apartment complex.
610
00:26:42,557 --> 00:26:44,341
Uh, nothing ventured,
nothing gained, Alan.
611
00:26:44,428 --> 00:26:45,342
Hey,
612
00:26:45,691 --> 00:26:47,693
to fortune favoring the bold.
Yeah.
613
00:26:47,823 --> 00:26:49,085
Right?
Oh, yeah.
614
00:26:49,172 --> 00:26:50,347
There you go.
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
615
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,481
Mr. Williams, dinner
will be ready in ten minutes.
616
00:26:53,568 --> 00:26:55,309
ALAN: Okay. Thank you, Roze.
617
00:26:56,266 --> 00:26:58,791
[FIREPLACE CRACKLING]
618
00:27:00,270 --> 00:27:01,402
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
619
00:27:02,882 --> 00:27:04,231
Almost forgot that was there.
620
00:27:09,410 --> 00:27:11,717
So young and so
many accolades, right?
621
00:27:13,501 --> 00:27:15,068
GRACE: Daddy?
[GASPS]
622
00:27:15,198 --> 00:27:19,246
Can I show him my new routine?
Of course you can, sweetheart.
623
00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:21,509
What a wonderful idea.
624
00:27:22,815 --> 00:27:25,078
Routine?
Come on.
625
00:27:27,210 --> 00:27:29,996
[WIND TUNNEL WHIRRING]
626
00:27:32,128 --> 00:27:34,740
So, back to the subject
of our ventures, Brian.
627
00:27:35,262 --> 00:27:36,524
Now, I... I realize
628
00:27:36,655 --> 00:27:38,395
there's been a lot of time
and effort on your part
629
00:27:38,482 --> 00:27:40,354
with this whole
preschool affair.
630
00:27:40,702 --> 00:27:43,052
I'd like to offer you
an opportunity.
631
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:44,750
Yeah, what kind of opportunity?
632
00:27:45,838 --> 00:27:47,666
Well, the kind
with a lot of zeros.
633
00:27:50,277 --> 00:27:52,540
Are you putting a price tag
on my child's future?
634
00:27:53,193 --> 00:27:55,674
You Americans! You think
you can just write a check
635
00:27:55,761 --> 00:27:57,284
to get everybody
to do what you want?
636
00:27:57,414 --> 00:27:59,242
I should storm
out of here right now!
637
00:27:59,373 --> 00:28:00,766
GRACE: Daddy?
Ooh. Wow.
638
00:28:00,853 --> 00:28:02,245
Yeah, that's a... that's a...
GRACE: Daddy?
639
00:28:02,332 --> 00:28:03,682
That's a big
opportunity, isn't it?
640
00:28:03,769 --> 00:28:05,771
Look, I... I feel
you could use the money
641
00:28:06,119 --> 00:28:08,295
to find another option,
another path, for Dylan.
642
00:28:09,035 --> 00:28:11,211
The Puggsley path
is the only path we want.
643
00:28:12,342 --> 00:28:14,562
I didn't wait this long
to have a kid to not have him go
644
00:28:14,649 --> 00:28:16,172
to the best preschool
in town, Alan.
645
00:28:16,259 --> 00:28:17,260
Yeah, well, me neither.
646
00:28:17,826 --> 00:28:20,307
Dylan will excel at Puggsley,
and every school thereafter.
647
00:28:20,394 --> 00:28:21,700
This is his opportunity.
648
00:28:21,830 --> 00:28:23,614
I won't let any amount
of money stop that.
649
00:28:24,050 --> 00:28:25,094
Well, I guess,
650
00:28:26,095 --> 00:28:28,141
Grace is gonna have to beat
your son legitimately
651
00:28:28,228 --> 00:28:29,098
for that spot, then.
652
00:28:29,490 --> 00:28:32,101
Yeah, she will.
Mr. Williams, dinner's ready.
653
00:28:32,232 --> 00:28:33,189
Okay.
654
00:28:41,154 --> 00:28:42,329
You're just
gonna leave her in there?
655
00:28:43,069 --> 00:28:46,072
["LIBIAMO NE'LIETI CALICI"
PLAYING]
656
00:28:52,556 --> 00:28:54,297
The meal
was spectacular, Matteo.
657
00:28:54,384 --> 00:28:55,821
Can't wait to see
what comes out next.
658
00:28:55,908 --> 00:28:56,952
Next?
659
00:28:57,431 --> 00:28:59,694
Matteo has a five-course
Italian meal planned.
660
00:28:59,825 --> 00:29:01,914
That way, we can sample
a few great little dishes.
661
00:29:02,001 --> 00:29:03,132
Wow. [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
662
00:29:03,829 --> 00:29:06,005
ALAN: I'm opening a restaurant
this Friday in town.
663
00:29:06,135 --> 00:29:08,790
Yeah, so Matteo and I
are ironing out the details
664
00:29:08,877 --> 00:29:10,357
so that we can take it
to the printer tomorrow
665
00:29:10,444 --> 00:29:11,880
to lock everything in.
666
00:29:12,098 --> 00:29:14,317
Alan and I met Matteo
in Tuscany while on holiday,
667
00:29:14,665 --> 00:29:18,104
and Alan asked him to come back
and work for him.
668
00:29:18,278 --> 00:29:20,106
Right. You're testing
the menu out on us!
669
00:29:20,236 --> 00:29:21,803
Feel so special, right, Brian?
670
00:29:21,934 --> 00:29:22,978
Pass the wine, please, bub.
671
00:29:23,413 --> 00:29:24,937
Pass me the vino!
Yeah.
672
00:29:27,374 --> 00:29:29,680
LAUREN: We really are
so excited about the opening.
673
00:29:30,029 --> 00:29:32,379
Alan has
a very ambitious vision,
674
00:29:32,466 --> 00:29:33,554
and there's a lot riding on it.
675
00:29:33,641 --> 00:29:35,643
So, I've pulled in
a few big fish.
676
00:29:35,730 --> 00:29:38,211
Yes, she has.
Taste makers, influencers,
677
00:29:38,559 --> 00:29:41,257
food critics.
And... and Alan has,
678
00:29:41,562 --> 00:29:42,868
uh, negotiated
with the local radio station
679
00:29:43,303 --> 00:29:45,784
to give away a dozen
free tickets to the listeners.
680
00:29:45,958 --> 00:29:47,437
ALAN: Mm-hmm.
Oh, right.
681
00:29:47,655 --> 00:29:48,787
Which station?
682
00:29:49,570 --> 00:29:50,701
Uh, K-DISCO.
683
00:29:50,919 --> 00:29:52,878
Oh, that's Brian's brother
Jeff's station.
684
00:29:53,139 --> 00:29:54,662
What?
SARAH: Right, Brian?
685
00:29:54,793 --> 00:29:55,924
ALAN: Wait, wait, wait.
686
00:29:56,533 --> 00:29:59,188
Jeff Young is your brother?
Mad, innit?
687
00:29:59,319 --> 00:30:00,929
I never would have
made that connection.
688
00:30:01,016 --> 00:30:03,584
He's... he's such a great guy.
And so chic.
689
00:30:04,454 --> 00:30:06,848
So successful. So classy.
690
00:30:08,458 --> 00:30:09,372
God!
691
00:30:09,982 --> 00:30:11,331
I couldn't help
but notice the, uh,
692
00:30:11,418 --> 00:30:13,028
the sailboat
over the mantelpiece.
693
00:30:13,159 --> 00:30:15,161
Oh, she's a beaut, isn't she?
Yeah, really pretty.
694
00:30:15,335 --> 00:30:16,249
[BURPS]
695
00:30:17,511 --> 00:30:19,513
Alan had to sell
the real one years ago.
696
00:30:19,687 --> 00:30:22,255
No more expeditions
into the Antarctic for me.
697
00:30:22,342 --> 00:30:23,865
SARAH: Thank you.
ALAN: Now that I'm a father,
698
00:30:24,344 --> 00:30:25,345
it's too dangerous.
699
00:30:25,519 --> 00:30:27,347
What is that?
ALAN: But I do miss sailing.
700
00:30:27,434 --> 00:30:28,957
All that power,
slicing through the water,
701
00:30:29,044 --> 00:30:30,480
struggling to man the haul.
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
702
00:30:30,567 --> 00:30:32,221
That means
steering the boat, Brian.
703
00:30:32,308 --> 00:30:33,657
Yeah, I know, Alan, I know,
704
00:30:33,744 --> 00:30:35,137
'cause I'm really familiar
with nautical terms.
705
00:30:35,224 --> 00:30:37,705
I'm an avid sailor meself.
Oh.
706
00:30:37,792 --> 00:30:38,967
Really? I didn't know that.
BRIAN: Yeah.
707
00:30:39,315 --> 00:30:40,403
Yeah, well, it's true.
708
00:30:40,621 --> 00:30:42,449
We go out all the time,
my brother and I.
709
00:30:42,536 --> 00:30:44,016
We actually own a boat together.
Don't we, babe?
710
00:30:44,755 --> 00:30:45,756
Yeah.
711
00:30:46,366 --> 00:30:47,584
It's a shame that you're doing
the printer thing tomorrow,
712
00:30:47,802 --> 00:30:50,283
else I'd have you come out
with us, but you can't, can ya?
713
00:30:50,500 --> 00:30:52,720
Oh!
ALAN: Well, now, hold on.
714
00:30:54,026 --> 00:30:56,376
[CALLBACK TONE RINGING]
715
00:30:56,593 --> 00:30:59,509
Carolyn, uh, it's Alan.
Uh, would you be a dear
716
00:30:59,596 --> 00:31:03,339
and push up my 4:00 pm
to 10:00 am tomorrow morning?
717
00:31:05,515 --> 00:31:07,822
Good news. I'm free.
[LAUGHS] That's great!
718
00:31:07,953 --> 00:31:09,824
What? You're free tomorrow now?
ALAN: [CHUCKLES] Yeah.
719
00:31:09,998 --> 00:31:11,957
Oh, yeah!
ALAN: Oh.
720
00:31:12,261 --> 00:31:13,697
Oh, I cannot wait.
LAUREN: Hmm.
721
00:31:14,394 --> 00:31:15,395
[SIGHS DEEPLY]
722
00:31:15,525 --> 00:31:16,744
LAUREN: Oh, I know
just what to wear.
723
00:31:17,614 --> 00:31:18,702
LAUREN: After you, please.
724
00:31:18,789 --> 00:31:19,921
BRIAN: Thank you.
Thank you.
725
00:31:20,095 --> 00:31:22,097
LAUREN: Oh, what a thrill.
It's just been lovely.
726
00:31:22,532 --> 00:31:23,664
Really lovely.
727
00:31:23,751 --> 00:31:25,361
Thank you just so much
for having us.
728
00:31:25,448 --> 00:31:26,797
Like, it's not often
we get to feast
729
00:31:26,885 --> 00:31:28,495
like kings, so.
[CHUCKLES]
730
00:31:28,625 --> 00:31:29,670
Well, word has it
731
00:31:30,192 --> 00:31:32,281
that this used to be the old
stomping grounds of Henry VIII.
732
00:31:32,368 --> 00:31:33,239
Yeah.
Really?
733
00:31:33,326 --> 00:31:34,588
Yeah.
Wow.
734
00:31:35,067 --> 00:31:36,416
If these walls could talk,
735
00:31:36,503 --> 00:31:38,853
every single corner of this
place has a story to tell.
736
00:31:38,940 --> 00:31:40,028
Hmm.
SARAH: Huh.
737
00:31:40,115 --> 00:31:41,812
Yeah.
Well, what's his story, then?
738
00:31:41,900 --> 00:31:44,119
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
739
00:31:44,946 --> 00:31:45,904
Oh, it's--
Oh, well,
740
00:31:45,991 --> 00:31:47,427
now, that statue
is very special.
741
00:31:47,557 --> 00:31:49,603
It's said to have been
sculpted by Michelangelo.
742
00:31:53,389 --> 00:31:54,390
SARAH: Oh.
743
00:31:55,130 --> 00:31:56,915
One of his much later works,
of course...
744
00:31:58,568 --> 00:31:59,961
but still very impressive.
745
00:32:00,135 --> 00:32:03,138
By then, he would have been
pretty much losing his eyesight,
746
00:32:03,225 --> 00:32:06,446
and had gout, and kidney stones.
Honey, I think they probably--
747
00:32:06,533 --> 00:32:07,621
Possibly even losing
his hearing.
748
00:32:07,926 --> 00:32:09,536
But if you really, really
want to know the full story,
749
00:32:09,623 --> 00:32:12,539
my... my 16 times
great-grandfather
750
00:32:12,887 --> 00:32:14,236
settled on this land
751
00:32:14,628 --> 00:32:17,326
and he built this manor
for his wife
752
00:32:17,413 --> 00:32:20,025
and that he commissioned
that statue
753
00:32:20,895 --> 00:32:23,463
to symbolize their everlasting
commitment to each other.
754
00:32:24,029 --> 00:32:26,553
And now it reflects Alan's
and my love to one another,
755
00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:28,381
doesn't it, sweetheart?
Yeah.
756
00:32:28,685 --> 00:32:30,078
BRIAN: Right. So sorry, Lauren.
757
00:32:30,209 --> 00:32:33,647
Um, this is actually
your place then, is it?
758
00:32:33,821 --> 00:32:36,128
Oh, well, what's mine
is his now, of course. Hmm.
759
00:32:36,258 --> 00:32:37,694
But Alan's really been
working his way up
760
00:32:37,868 --> 00:32:39,783
in the family business and Papa
couldn't be more impressed.
761
00:32:39,958 --> 00:32:40,915
I am sure.
762
00:32:41,263 --> 00:32:42,743
But really, it's not--
D'ya know what, um, we...
763
00:32:42,961 --> 00:32:44,614
we really have to go.
764
00:32:44,788 --> 00:32:46,573
Thank you so much
for a lovely evening. ALAN: Yeah, yeah...
765
00:32:46,703 --> 00:32:47,878
Well-- [CHUCKLES]
Thank you for the meal.
766
00:32:48,009 --> 00:32:49,141
We'll see ya.
Yeah.
767
00:32:49,228 --> 00:32:50,794
LAUREN: It's our pleasure.
SARAH: Thank you.
768
00:32:50,881 --> 00:32:52,100
And we should make
a habit of this.
769
00:32:52,187 --> 00:32:53,319
Yeah.
We would love to, wouldn't we?
770
00:32:53,406 --> 00:32:54,363
Good.
BRIAN: We would.
771
00:32:54,450 --> 00:32:55,364
Yeah.
Safe home, then!
772
00:32:55,495 --> 00:32:56,496
Thank you. Cheers.
SARAH: Thank you.
773
00:32:56,583 --> 00:32:57,801
Ciao!
BRIAN: Safe home to you.
774
00:32:57,888 --> 00:32:59,368
All right, stop it.
Ciao.
775
00:33:00,065 --> 00:33:02,154
I knew... I knew it. I knew it.
776
00:33:02,241 --> 00:33:04,243
Of course he married
into the money, babe.
777
00:33:04,373 --> 00:33:07,072
What? I do not get why this is
such a big revelation for you.
778
00:33:07,159 --> 00:33:08,421
Are you kidding me?
779
00:33:08,856 --> 00:33:11,076
Bub, he was... he was so smug,
780
00:33:11,163 --> 00:33:13,034
walking around
like king of the castle,
781
00:33:13,165 --> 00:33:15,994
and then we find out, bang,
it's not even his money, babe!
782
00:33:16,081 --> 00:33:17,604
[SHUSHES]
783
00:33:18,039 --> 00:33:20,389
You know Jeff is not gonna
let you take his boat out.
784
00:33:20,955 --> 00:33:23,175
Uh, yeah, he will. Jeff owes me.
What does he owe you for?
785
00:33:23,349 --> 00:33:24,567
His life.
What?
786
00:33:24,698 --> 00:33:26,482
I took all the flack
while he reaps the rewards.
787
00:33:26,613 --> 00:33:27,657
Besides, I don't need Jeff.
788
00:33:27,744 --> 00:33:29,094
I'm a...
I'm a really good sailor.
789
00:33:29,311 --> 00:33:31,226
Jeff is a great sailor. You
are barely passable, my love.
790
00:33:31,313 --> 00:33:33,359
Hold on. But you don't know
that, do you, for sure?
791
00:33:33,446 --> 00:33:35,056
You've been listening
to me dad, haven't ya?
792
00:33:35,143 --> 00:33:36,231
He's always badmouthing me.
793
00:33:36,362 --> 00:33:37,406
What? Oh, God.
Doesn't matter, babe.
794
00:33:37,928 --> 00:33:39,452
I love you. You're so beautiful.
I love you. I love you, baby.
795
00:33:39,539 --> 00:33:40,714
I love you.
I'm a really good sailor.
796
00:33:40,801 --> 00:33:42,020
Baby, give me the keys.
797
00:33:43,369 --> 00:33:45,240
I'm gonna drive, okay?
'Cause you're too drunk. Right.
798
00:33:46,546 --> 00:33:48,548
And anyway,
Alan's going to be with us.
799
00:33:48,635 --> 00:33:52,030
Alan's not driving my boat.
Jeff's boat. Our boat.
800
00:33:53,205 --> 00:33:54,684
What?
I'm the main driver.
801
00:33:54,989 --> 00:33:56,643
SARAH: Yeah, well,
you are the main driver.
802
00:33:56,860 --> 00:33:58,645
He can help out with things.
803
00:33:58,732 --> 00:34:02,257
He can talk about knots
and that. He can do...
804
00:34:02,518 --> 00:34:06,261
[SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
805
00:34:06,783 --> 00:34:08,437
[ENGINE REVVING]
806
00:34:23,104 --> 00:34:24,453
[DOOR CLOSING]
807
00:34:27,543 --> 00:34:28,457
Ooh!
808
00:34:31,895 --> 00:34:33,941
Isn't it nice to connect
to other parents?
809
00:34:35,856 --> 00:34:36,987
Makes this whole
preschool madness
810
00:34:37,075 --> 00:34:39,860
seem almost worth it. [SIGHS]
811
00:34:40,426 --> 00:34:41,862
Yeah, I just-- I kind of wish
812
00:34:41,992 --> 00:34:43,472
you hadn't mentioned
all this stuff about our...
813
00:34:44,691 --> 00:34:46,780
family history, you know?
Hmm?
814
00:34:48,129 --> 00:34:49,348
We barely know those people.
815
00:34:49,435 --> 00:34:52,046
Oh, please.
What is there to hide?
816
00:34:52,829 --> 00:34:54,570
We have a beautiful life.
817
00:34:56,137 --> 00:34:58,270
I love that story
about my grandparents' statue.
818
00:34:58,618 --> 00:35:00,533
Mmm. Mm-hmm.
819
00:35:01,447 --> 00:35:04,145
[LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING]
820
00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:09,846
Brian?
Oh.
821
00:35:10,804 --> 00:35:12,197
SARAH: My love.
Yeah?
822
00:35:12,327 --> 00:35:14,242
Let me get this straight.
You've, um,
823
00:35:14,373 --> 00:35:16,853
you've hired
an out-of-work screenwriter
824
00:35:17,724 --> 00:35:20,596
to write about Dylan?
Yeah, that's right.
825
00:35:20,727 --> 00:35:22,859
Um, he's in between projects
right now,
826
00:35:22,946 --> 00:35:23,860
writing movie trailers.
827
00:35:24,209 --> 00:35:25,297
So, we're actually
really lucky to get him.
828
00:35:25,427 --> 00:35:27,081
So, why won't you let me do it?
829
00:35:27,647 --> 00:35:29,301
Babe.
Babe.
830
00:35:29,388 --> 00:35:31,172
This guy's wrote
three of my favorite movies.
831
00:35:31,651 --> 00:35:33,783
Kill Me Twice, A Hail Of Bullets
and A Cold Day In Hell.
832
00:35:33,870 --> 00:35:35,307
All classics.
833
00:35:35,698 --> 00:35:37,352
Oh, God,
I'm so excited to meet him.
834
00:35:38,179 --> 00:35:39,528
He's gonna make Dylan
look like a badass.
835
00:35:39,615 --> 00:35:40,747
He really, really is.
836
00:35:42,618 --> 00:35:45,099
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Oh, God, he's here.
837
00:35:47,275 --> 00:35:48,450
What are you waiting for?
838
00:35:48,537 --> 00:35:49,756
I don't want to seem
desperate.
839
00:35:49,843 --> 00:35:51,671
My love, that ship sailed
a long time ago.
840
00:35:54,152 --> 00:35:55,414
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
841
00:36:01,376 --> 00:36:04,292
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
842
00:36:05,380 --> 00:36:09,167
Chase Stevens.
Oh, God. Incredible.
843
00:36:12,648 --> 00:36:14,128
I've come across
one of your films.
844
00:36:14,302 --> 00:36:15,956
Um,
forgot what it's called, though.
845
00:36:18,001 --> 00:36:19,394
Yeah, great.
846
00:36:20,221 --> 00:36:22,136
With... with a con man
who fakes his own death
847
00:36:22,223 --> 00:36:23,529
to get the mobsters
off his back--
848
00:36:23,659 --> 00:36:25,270
It's so good. It really is.
849
00:36:25,792 --> 00:36:27,010
Yeah, I know. I wrote it.
850
00:36:28,751 --> 00:36:30,884
This is all-cash, yeah?
Yeah.
851
00:36:37,499 --> 00:36:38,979
[EXHALES HEAVILY]
852
00:36:42,852 --> 00:36:43,940
[KNOCKING AT THE DOOR]
853
00:36:48,031 --> 00:36:50,033
[WHISPERS] Hiya, Chase. Chase!
854
00:36:51,252 --> 00:36:52,993
Sorry, mate,
I... I couldn't help myself.
855
00:36:53,298 --> 00:36:54,690
I know it hasn't been long.
But I just--
856
00:36:54,821 --> 00:36:56,692
I had to see
what you've come up with so far.
857
00:36:56,823 --> 00:36:58,433
You said the deadline
was five o'clock.
858
00:36:59,173 --> 00:37:01,219
Yeah.
No. It's all right. [SIGHS]
859
00:37:01,306 --> 00:37:02,437
Let's do it now.
860
00:37:03,264 --> 00:37:05,440
Yeah
[PRINTER WHIRRING]
861
00:37:10,445 --> 00:37:11,664
"To the esteemed members
862
00:37:11,925 --> 00:37:13,535
of the Puggsley Academy
of Excellence,
863
00:37:13,666 --> 00:37:16,234
Admissions Committee.
[CLEARS THROAT, SNIFFS]
864
00:37:17,191 --> 00:37:18,192
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
865
00:37:18,323 --> 00:37:19,541
[IN MOVIE TRAILER VOICE]
In a world
866
00:37:19,802 --> 00:37:22,588
where mediocrity
is the norm amongst children,
867
00:37:22,979 --> 00:37:26,069
one boy will rise up
and prove himself worthy
868
00:37:26,244 --> 00:37:28,507
of the best the world
has to offer.
869
00:37:29,421 --> 00:37:32,859
Strength and endurance,
artistic prowess,
870
00:37:33,163 --> 00:37:36,602
and intellectual capacity,
revered by all of those
871
00:37:36,689 --> 00:37:39,866
who encounter
his magnificent presence.
872
00:37:39,996 --> 00:37:42,303
Women yearn
for the man he'll become.
873
00:37:42,477 --> 00:37:44,827
[MUFFLED] Whilst our enemies
preemptively tremble. [SCOFFS]
874
00:37:45,175 --> 00:37:47,656
But this boy's greatness
must be cultivated,
875
00:37:48,135 --> 00:37:51,747
nurtured, capacitated, guided.
876
00:37:51,965 --> 00:37:54,446
All of which will be given
to him by the people who are...
877
00:37:54,533 --> 00:37:56,361
[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
SARAH: Dylan has strong interest
878
00:37:56,448 --> 00:37:57,927
in learning about the world
around him.
879
00:37:58,885 --> 00:38:01,975
He is warm, empathetic,
and a natural friend to others.
880
00:38:02,062 --> 00:38:03,803
[EPIC MUSIC PLAYING]
CHASE: The boy must be trained,
881
00:38:04,194 --> 00:38:07,372
nurtured, so that
he can rule the country
882
00:38:07,459 --> 00:38:12,420
and one day usher us all
into a brave, new world!
883
00:38:13,900 --> 00:38:15,684
Huh?
What do you think about that?
884
00:38:17,338 --> 00:38:21,211
Um, yeah, it's-- I like it.
[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
885
00:38:21,299 --> 00:38:23,649
SARAH: "We believe that
Puggsley Academy of Excellence
886
00:38:23,736 --> 00:38:24,998
would offer Dylan the nurturing
887
00:38:25,085 --> 00:38:26,565
and challenging environment
he needs...
888
00:38:26,652 --> 00:38:28,784
"He needs to continue growing
academically,
889
00:38:28,915 --> 00:38:30,612
socially and emotionally.
890
00:38:34,007 --> 00:38:35,748
[TEARFUL] Thank you
for considering our son,
891
00:38:36,052 --> 00:38:37,271
the light of our lives,
892
00:38:37,358 --> 00:38:39,404
who consistently
brightens our days
893
00:38:39,534 --> 00:38:42,189
and would undoubtedly do
the same for this institution."
894
00:38:42,929 --> 00:38:46,498
Oh, my God. [CRIES]
895
00:38:47,542 --> 00:38:50,545
[SNIFFLES]
[SIGHS HEAVILY, SNIFFLES]
896
00:38:51,198 --> 00:38:53,069
You have to admit
it's good, right?
897
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:56,508
Yeah. It's... it's all right.
It's not bad. It's not bad.
898
00:38:57,509 --> 00:38:59,380
[SNIFFLES]
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
899
00:38:59,946 --> 00:39:01,643
Aw.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
900
00:39:01,774 --> 00:39:03,036
[GASPS] Oh, no.
901
00:39:03,558 --> 00:39:06,387
Oh, can someone answer the door?
I'm not ready yet.
902
00:39:06,474 --> 00:39:08,258
All right, babe.
JOE: I'll get it!
903
00:39:10,870 --> 00:39:12,828
Oh, that's so... so good.
904
00:39:15,004 --> 00:39:16,005
So good.
905
00:39:17,703 --> 00:39:19,531
ALAN: Ahoy there, matey.
LAUREN: Hello!
906
00:39:19,879 --> 00:39:22,055
This must be Gracie, eh?
ALAN: Oh, yeah.
907
00:39:22,142 --> 00:39:23,709
JOE: Hello. [CHUCKLES]
ALAN: That's her.
908
00:39:24,100 --> 00:39:26,276
Oh, and, uh, this is?
Oh.
909
00:39:26,364 --> 00:39:27,713
This is Roze.
ALAN: This is Roze.
910
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:29,845
JOE: Oh.
Nice to meet you, sir.
911
00:39:29,976 --> 00:39:31,934
Oh, no, pleasure's all mine.
912
00:39:33,240 --> 00:39:36,112
LAUREN: Roze is our nanny.
Well, Grace's nanny, that is.
913
00:39:36,635 --> 00:39:39,377
She looks after all of us.
BRIAN: Oh, iceberg, portside.
914
00:39:39,507 --> 00:39:41,248
Oh!
Ahoy!
915
00:39:42,075 --> 00:39:43,424
Wish I had a stupid, blue hat.
916
00:39:43,729 --> 00:39:45,383
Oh, look at you two.
You look exactly the same.
917
00:39:45,470 --> 00:39:47,776
You're wearing the same gear.
It was my idea.
918
00:39:47,907 --> 00:39:49,561
It was your idea?
Bet it was your money as well.
919
00:39:49,822 --> 00:39:51,389
Sarah will be down in a minute.
920
00:39:51,476 --> 00:39:53,216
Oh, and Roze is here.
How you doing, Roze, you okay?
921
00:39:53,303 --> 00:39:55,044
Thought me dad
was looking after the kids.
922
00:39:55,131 --> 00:39:57,046
Oh, of course.
So kind of you. We just...
923
00:39:57,177 --> 00:39:59,397
we just thought it would be
helpful to bring her along.
924
00:40:00,049 --> 00:40:01,921
Hey, don't get miffed.
925
00:40:02,225 --> 00:40:03,879
I need all the help
I can get, eh?
926
00:40:06,186 --> 00:40:08,188
All right. Shall we have
a quick tour then,
927
00:40:08,318 --> 00:40:09,232
while we wait for Sarah.
928
00:40:09,363 --> 00:40:10,756
Yeah?
Come on then, follow me.
929
00:40:14,237 --> 00:40:17,632
Oh... [CHUCKLES]
...look at this, little dojo.
930
00:40:18,024 --> 00:40:19,068
Everyone, this is Dylan.
931
00:40:19,329 --> 00:40:21,288
He's competing again
at the nationals next month.
932
00:40:21,375 --> 00:40:24,552
That outfit is adorbs.
Cute little guy. Look at that.
933
00:40:24,639 --> 00:40:26,772
Alan, try to take him down.
934
00:40:26,902 --> 00:40:28,469
[CHUCKLES]
[LAUGHS]
935
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:30,253
I'm not... I'm not gonna...
I'm not gonna take him down.
936
00:40:30,340 --> 00:40:32,560
Go on, have a go.
ALAN: I'm not gonna take your kid down.
937
00:40:32,691 --> 00:40:33,909
BRIAN: Try to take him down.
I could.
938
00:40:33,996 --> 00:40:36,259
If I wanted to, I could.
I could.
939
00:40:37,696 --> 00:40:39,045
Nice to meet you, bud.
940
00:40:41,003 --> 00:40:45,181
[GRUNTS] Oh!
Athletic little guy, isn't he?
941
00:40:46,531 --> 00:40:49,229
[PLAYFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
Oh, wow. [GRUNTS]
942
00:40:50,143 --> 00:40:51,797
Oh, God. Brian... Brian?
943
00:40:52,101 --> 00:40:55,017
[GRUNTS]
944
00:40:55,235 --> 00:40:56,497
You all right?
Babe?
945
00:40:59,718 --> 00:41:00,762
[GRUNTS]
946
00:41:02,372 --> 00:41:05,506
[GRUNTS IN PAIN] Get off me.
947
00:41:06,289 --> 00:41:07,290
Get off me.
948
00:41:08,117 --> 00:41:09,902
[GRUNTS]
Brian!
949
00:41:10,032 --> 00:41:11,991
[ALAN GRUNTING]
950
00:41:13,558 --> 00:41:16,691
Okay, okay, okay.
Dylan? Dylan, desist.
951
00:41:17,823 --> 00:41:19,738
Sorry. I've never flipped
someone so big.
952
00:41:19,912 --> 00:41:21,740
[PANTS]
953
00:41:23,829 --> 00:41:26,309
Well, let's... let's...
let's go... let's go sailing.
954
00:41:27,093 --> 00:41:29,704
[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
955
00:41:40,498 --> 00:41:41,977
LAUREN: You all right?
Was it bad?
956
00:41:42,500 --> 00:41:43,762
It was bad, wasn't it?
Uh, I thought
957
00:41:43,849 --> 00:41:45,067
it was a very
honorable submission.
958
00:41:45,154 --> 00:41:46,068
[SCOFFS]
959
00:41:47,766 --> 00:41:49,463
What was I supposed to do,
it was a little kid.
960
00:41:49,594 --> 00:41:51,204
Supposed to beat him up?
I'm not gonna beat up--
961
00:41:51,334 --> 00:41:52,814
I could have...
I could have beat him up.
962
00:41:52,945 --> 00:41:54,381
I-- You were very gallant.
963
00:41:54,555 --> 00:41:56,775
And I think the main thing
to think of here
964
00:41:56,905 --> 00:41:59,647
is that they are a lovely family
and I really like them.
965
00:42:00,039 --> 00:42:01,736
And the little boy
is so talented.
966
00:42:02,128 --> 00:42:04,260
Can you believe what he did?
Uh, no, I can't.
967
00:42:05,435 --> 00:42:07,437
I underestimated him.
What?
968
00:42:07,568 --> 00:42:09,178
But it's not going
to happen again.
969
00:42:10,484 --> 00:42:15,228
[LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING]
970
00:42:25,717 --> 00:42:26,674
SARAH:
Never heard of that before.
971
00:42:26,805 --> 00:42:27,762
I might give it a go.
972
00:42:29,721 --> 00:42:32,419
LAUREN: [SIGHS]
I really miss sailing.
973
00:42:32,767 --> 00:42:34,856
I'm so glad
you guys asked us to come.
974
00:42:34,943 --> 00:42:36,118
SARAH: Oh!
It's been a long time
975
00:42:36,336 --> 00:42:38,512
since Alan and I have been
out with another couple.
976
00:42:38,643 --> 00:42:41,689
Oh, yeah? You mean not covered
in food stains, or vomit,
977
00:42:41,820 --> 00:42:44,605
or watching The Wild and Crazies
for six hours on a loop?
978
00:42:44,692 --> 00:42:46,651
[CHUCKLES]
Well, the day is young.
979
00:42:46,868 --> 00:42:48,957
Have you met my husband?
Oh, God. Have you met mine?
980
00:42:49,610 --> 00:42:51,699
So, Alan,
you finished your thesis?
981
00:42:51,786 --> 00:42:53,832
Yeah. Easy-peasy.
Yep. Same.
982
00:42:55,137 --> 00:42:56,661
What about
that father's presentation?
983
00:42:56,965 --> 00:43:00,229
Yeah. Really prepped for it.
Fully prepped. What about you?
984
00:43:00,316 --> 00:43:02,188
Fully prepped. I mean...
985
00:43:03,406 --> 00:43:04,494
she's my... she's my daughter.
986
00:43:04,582 --> 00:43:06,061
I've been prepping
for years, right?
987
00:43:06,322 --> 00:43:07,323
Yeah, same.
988
00:43:10,936 --> 00:43:13,591
So, where's the boat?
There, Alan, look.
989
00:43:13,982 --> 00:43:15,636
LAUREN: Oh,
she's beautiful, Brian.
990
00:43:16,158 --> 00:43:17,072
BRIAN: She is.
991
00:43:18,204 --> 00:43:19,074
Gaynor.
992
00:43:19,901 --> 00:43:21,207
What's the significance there?
993
00:43:23,296 --> 00:43:24,602
SARAH: Not gonna tell him, babe?
994
00:43:25,472 --> 00:43:27,256
Shall I tell him?
Yeah, you crack on.
995
00:43:27,430 --> 00:43:30,085
Oh, well, believe it or not,
996
00:43:30,172 --> 00:43:34,220
but Brian is a huge fan
of Gloria Gaynor.
997
00:43:34,612 --> 00:43:36,483
Well, she's very talented.
SARAH: Yeah, I mean, you know,
998
00:43:36,570 --> 00:43:38,224
"I Will Survive" is not really
999
00:43:38,311 --> 00:43:39,704
quite the right name
for a boat, is it?
1000
00:43:39,791 --> 00:43:42,358
But it is, in fact,
Brian's favorite song.
1001
00:43:43,185 --> 00:43:44,665
Yeah, and poor Brian.
1002
00:43:44,752 --> 00:43:46,319
He's had some real trials
and tribulations,
1003
00:43:46,406 --> 00:43:47,712
some heartache in his life.
1004
00:43:47,973 --> 00:43:49,278
And that song,
it's just got you through
1005
00:43:49,409 --> 00:43:51,106
the darkest of days,
hasn't it, my baby?
1006
00:43:51,237 --> 00:43:52,281
Hmm.
1007
00:43:52,717 --> 00:43:54,109
Yeah, I've only ever heard
divorced women sing that song.
1008
00:43:56,068 --> 00:43:58,157
Well, the French sang it and it
won them the World Cup in '98.
1009
00:43:58,636 --> 00:44:01,116
The French? Yeah, well,
I guess I could believe that.
1010
00:44:02,727 --> 00:44:04,032
BRIAN: Ahoy there, Bob!
1011
00:44:04,859 --> 00:44:06,469
He takes care
of this beauty for us.
1012
00:44:09,081 --> 00:44:10,212
Yeah
ALAN: Hey.
1013
00:44:11,736 --> 00:44:12,693
Brian.
1014
00:44:14,260 --> 00:44:15,740
You can't take
the boat out today.
1015
00:44:15,914 --> 00:44:19,700
What? Why not, Bob?
[CHUCKLES] You just can't.
1016
00:44:20,788 --> 00:44:21,833
You know why.
1017
00:44:22,355 --> 00:44:24,836
I actually don't know why, Bob.
This is very much a surprise.
1018
00:44:26,925 --> 00:44:28,535
Oh, right! [CHUCKLES]
1019
00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:30,624
You... you called,
but I didn't tell you
1020
00:44:30,711 --> 00:44:35,324
because I just noticed now,
or just few minutes ago
1021
00:44:35,411 --> 00:44:38,110
while I was trying
to get her ready for you.
1022
00:44:38,240 --> 00:44:39,459
Can you get to the point,
please, Bob?
1023
00:44:39,677 --> 00:44:40,547
Um...
1024
00:44:42,505 --> 00:44:43,855
it's the head.
1025
00:44:44,899 --> 00:44:47,859
I wouldn't want
to get into many details.
1026
00:44:48,642 --> 00:44:52,951
But one of the workers
had too many burritos.
1027
00:44:53,081 --> 00:44:54,039
Oh, for-- This is...
1028
00:44:54,126 --> 00:44:55,997
And his IBS kicked in.
Oh, dear.
1029
00:44:56,084 --> 00:44:57,695
And he couldn't make it
to the clubhouse.
1030
00:44:57,782 --> 00:44:59,522
LAUREN: Oh!
JOE: And your boat
1031
00:44:59,609 --> 00:45:00,959
was right here, and...
1032
00:45:02,134 --> 00:45:04,223
Anyway,
it's a real mess down there.
1033
00:45:04,919 --> 00:45:07,356
I wouldn't even get too close
if I were you,
1034
00:45:07,487 --> 00:45:09,271
or you'll start smelling
the overflow
1035
00:45:09,358 --> 00:45:11,012
from the holding tank, yeah.
BRIAN: Okay.
1036
00:45:11,099 --> 00:45:13,362
Thank you very much. That's--
We've got it. Thank you.
1037
00:45:14,015 --> 00:45:18,454
[SIGHS] Ah, what a darn shame.
[SCOFFS]
1038
00:45:18,759 --> 00:45:20,761
I guess we'll just
have to do it another day.
1039
00:45:24,809 --> 00:45:26,636
It wasn't me, by the way.
1040
00:45:27,812 --> 00:45:29,248
Thank you very much
for whatever that was.
1041
00:45:29,335 --> 00:45:31,598
Ridiculous. Cheers.
1042
00:45:33,295 --> 00:45:35,341
[GROANS]
1043
00:45:37,169 --> 00:45:40,563
Hey, let's not let this
ruin our day out.
1044
00:45:41,956 --> 00:45:43,044
I've got an idea.
1045
00:45:43,392 --> 00:45:45,830
There are paddle ball courts
here, that might be fun.
1046
00:45:46,178 --> 00:45:47,048
Do you play, Alan?
1047
00:45:47,179 --> 00:45:48,615
Alan's always wanted
to try that.
1048
00:45:48,746 --> 00:45:50,138
I'm not really dressed for--
BRIAN: Really? Well,
1049
00:45:50,225 --> 00:45:51,096
it's your lucky day!
1050
00:45:51,183 --> 00:45:52,227
Just a five-minute walk.
1051
00:45:52,358 --> 00:45:53,576
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
I tell you what,
1052
00:45:53,663 --> 00:45:55,013
I'll reserve us a court, yeah?
1053
00:45:57,842 --> 00:46:00,540
[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
1054
00:46:06,154 --> 00:46:08,374
LAUREN: Okay. Lovely.
1055
00:46:10,115 --> 00:46:11,943
ALAN: I didn't know
this place existed.
1056
00:46:12,900 --> 00:46:13,814
LAUREN: Little Wimbledon.
1057
00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:22,780
Uh, do you want a drink, or?
Yeah, yeah. Anything.
1058
00:46:22,910 --> 00:46:23,911
Some nuts.
1059
00:46:24,782 --> 00:46:26,696
Nuts?
Yeah. Or coffee, or--
1060
00:46:26,784 --> 00:46:27,654
Where did he go?
1061
00:46:28,350 --> 00:46:30,048
I don't know. Maybe toilet, or--
1062
00:46:30,135 --> 00:46:32,311
Don't know. I'm not sure.
Right. We all ready then?
1063
00:46:34,226 --> 00:46:36,402
[PLAYFUL MUSIC PLAYS]
1064
00:46:38,317 --> 00:46:40,058
Yeah? Let's go.
1065
00:46:45,324 --> 00:46:46,194
Babe?
1066
00:46:46,847 --> 00:46:48,066
Babe? Brian?
Yeah?
1067
00:46:48,153 --> 00:46:49,197
What are you wearing?
1068
00:46:49,371 --> 00:46:50,416
What?
What are you wearing?
1069
00:46:50,503 --> 00:46:52,070
What do you mean
what I'm wearing?
1070
00:46:52,157 --> 00:46:54,028
What do you mean,
what do I mean? It's too tight!
1071
00:46:54,159 --> 00:46:56,639
I think, we should try
to be kind to them.
1072
00:46:56,726 --> 00:46:58,554
I'll be kind.
I'm not going to let 'em win.
1073
00:46:58,772 --> 00:47:00,513
Okay, stretching,
just a little bit.
1074
00:47:01,470 --> 00:47:03,385
Just a little stretch.
Back and forth, back and forth.
1075
00:47:04,865 --> 00:47:09,087
[GROANS]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
1076
00:47:09,217 --> 00:47:11,219
[GRUNTS] Oh, my God.
What are you--
1077
00:47:11,350 --> 00:47:12,394
Get it off me.
Babe.
1078
00:47:12,481 --> 00:47:13,526
BRIAN: What's--
SARAH: Stop it.
1079
00:47:13,700 --> 00:47:16,050
What is it?
Get it off me, please.
1080
00:47:16,137 --> 00:47:18,183
Brain, it's fine. It's gone.
BRIAN: Has it gone now?
1081
00:47:18,966 --> 00:47:20,011
Get it off! Where's it gone?
1082
00:47:20,707 --> 00:47:22,840
Babe, look at me.
It's... it's gone up there.
1083
00:47:22,927 --> 00:47:24,363
What's a butterfly
doing in here? It's up there.
1084
00:47:24,537 --> 00:47:26,017
It's gone up there.
It's fine. Just breathe.
1085
00:47:26,278 --> 00:47:28,454
[EXHALES HEAVILY]
My God. That was close.
1086
00:47:29,977 --> 00:47:31,413
Okay.
Just breathe.
1087
00:47:31,718 --> 00:47:33,459
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
1088
00:47:33,633 --> 00:47:35,069
Right. I'm guessing
we all know the rules.
1089
00:47:35,156 --> 00:47:36,418
What was that?
1090
00:47:36,549 --> 00:47:38,159
It was just a thing.
Just a... a weird buggy thing.
1091
00:47:38,246 --> 00:47:39,378
It was a butterfly.
1092
00:47:39,900 --> 00:47:41,467
Yeah, it doesn't matter,
does it? Are you afraid of butterflies?
1093
00:47:41,554 --> 00:47:42,816
LAUREN:
I think he's afraid of all bugs.
1094
00:47:43,121 --> 00:47:44,383
I didn't know that was a thing.
1095
00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:46,037
I'd say
he just proved that it is.
1096
00:47:46,341 --> 00:47:47,952
Entomophobia.
It is a thing, actually.
1097
00:47:48,561 --> 00:47:49,649
Yeah. Look it up.
1098
00:47:50,171 --> 00:47:51,781
I could get a blue badge
if I wanted, but I don't. [SNICKERS]
1099
00:47:52,043 --> 00:47:54,175
Okay, ready?
Ready for serve. All right.
1100
00:47:54,915 --> 00:47:56,047
Feet in position, bub.
1101
00:47:57,091 --> 00:47:58,658
And, off we go.
1102
00:48:00,094 --> 00:48:01,356
Mine, mine, mine, mine!
[GRUNTS]
1103
00:48:01,748 --> 00:48:03,532
Sorry, sorry. Are you okay?
I elbowed-- Can you just calm down?
1104
00:48:03,619 --> 00:48:05,012
Babe, stop it!
Our serve now?
1105
00:48:05,099 --> 00:48:06,448
SARAH: Yeah, yeah, it is.
BRIAN: No, no.
1106
00:48:07,058 --> 00:48:08,929
SARAH: It's their serve.
It's definitely not. I serve for the whole game.
1107
00:48:09,060 --> 00:48:10,409
No, no, you, um--
We'll just say it's yours.
1108
00:48:10,539 --> 00:48:12,541
SARAH: Calm down. Bloody hell.
I serve for the whole game.
1109
00:48:14,195 --> 00:48:16,067
Oh, bad luck.
That makes it our serve.
1110
00:48:16,763 --> 00:48:17,633
If that--
1111
00:48:17,720 --> 00:48:18,896
Ah!
BRIAN: Ha, ha!
1112
00:48:20,462 --> 00:48:22,595
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
1113
00:48:24,336 --> 00:48:25,511
BRIAN: Mine, mine, mine!
[GRUNTS]
1114
00:48:25,685 --> 00:48:26,599
Unlucky.
1115
00:48:27,252 --> 00:48:28,862
Watch out. Watch out!
God, you nearly got my...
1116
00:48:28,993 --> 00:48:30,298
you nearly got
my wife then in the head.
1117
00:48:30,646 --> 00:48:32,431
ALAN: Sorry about that.
Will you just take it down a notch.
1118
00:48:34,694 --> 00:48:36,348
All right.
Just calm down a bit.
1119
00:48:36,435 --> 00:48:38,176
That's 15-love.
You weren't looking, were you?
1120
00:48:38,263 --> 00:48:40,308
Pay attention.
That was... that was out!
1121
00:48:40,482 --> 00:48:42,180
That was out.
Just stop it.
1122
00:48:42,267 --> 00:48:44,269
You're stressing me out.
Let's everyone just calm--
1123
00:48:44,356 --> 00:48:45,226
[GRUNTS]
1124
00:48:46,184 --> 00:48:47,228
SARAH: Calm down.
1125
00:48:48,838 --> 00:48:49,796
[SHOUTS]
1126
00:48:53,365 --> 00:48:55,584
[SHOUTS] Yes!
LAUREN: Calm down. Just calm.--
1127
00:48:55,715 --> 00:48:57,586
Okay. That's our game.
LAUREN: Calm down.
1128
00:48:57,935 --> 00:48:59,023
That's our point!
1129
00:48:59,414 --> 00:49:03,549
Yes! Good job. Hey, hey.
Ah! It's all right. Next time.
1130
00:49:03,636 --> 00:49:04,898
Stop it.
Four-three.
1131
00:49:05,072 --> 00:49:06,900
[GRUNTS]
I got it.
1132
00:49:06,987 --> 00:49:08,597
[GRUNTS]
ALAN: Sorry.
1133
00:49:08,902 --> 00:49:09,990
[SHOUTS] Yes!
ALAN: [SHOUTS] Yes!
1134
00:49:12,906 --> 00:49:14,995
That was in! Match point.
1135
00:49:20,087 --> 00:49:21,175
[YELLS]
1136
00:49:28,443 --> 00:49:29,357
[ALAN GRUNTS]
1137
00:49:30,358 --> 00:49:32,056
[SHOUTS] Yeah!
Yes!
1138
00:49:34,797 --> 00:49:37,148
I love you so much.
SARAH: Oh, babe. Oh, babe.
1139
00:49:37,235 --> 00:49:38,758
We won. We won.
SARAH: We won.
1140
00:49:39,411 --> 00:49:41,935
[ALAN GRUNTS]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
1141
00:49:42,414 --> 00:49:44,198
You all right there, pal?
Are you okay?
1142
00:49:44,851 --> 00:49:46,200
Do you need a minute?
What?
1143
00:49:46,331 --> 00:49:48,376
[GRUNTS]
1144
00:49:48,724 --> 00:49:51,336
LAUREN: Oh, no.
[SHOUTS] Oh, my God!
1145
00:49:51,814 --> 00:49:53,207
Oh, my-- [YELLS IN PAIN]
LAUREN: That's bad.
1146
00:49:53,294 --> 00:49:54,295
Oh, my God.
1147
00:49:55,035 --> 00:49:56,732
What do I do?
Ooh, dear.
1148
00:49:56,950 --> 00:49:59,692
[GAGS]
LAUREN: Oh, that's bad.
1149
00:49:59,822 --> 00:50:01,259
Someone should do something.
1150
00:50:02,042 --> 00:50:03,957
Oh![ALAN RETCHING]
1151
00:50:06,568 --> 00:50:08,005
BRIAN: 'Cause all I'm saying
is it'd just be
1152
00:50:08,179 --> 00:50:09,223
really interesting to know
1153
00:50:09,310 --> 00:50:10,877
exactly how fast
that ball was going.
1154
00:50:11,138 --> 00:50:13,271
Not for me, but for... for Alan.
For bragging rights.
1155
00:50:13,358 --> 00:50:15,838
Right, yeah.
What Brian is trying to say,
1156
00:50:16,752 --> 00:50:18,189
is that he's really sorry.
1157
00:50:18,406 --> 00:50:19,886
And, um,
if there's anything we can do,
1158
00:50:20,017 --> 00:50:21,453
please just do let us know.
1159
00:50:21,583 --> 00:50:23,368
Oh, I did already say that.
No, you didn't say it.
1160
00:50:23,455 --> 00:50:24,499
Yeah, I did.
No, say it properly.
1161
00:50:24,630 --> 00:50:25,979
Like you mean it.
I've said it loads. I've--
1162
00:50:26,110 --> 00:50:27,372
Say it like you mean it!
Sorry, Alan.
1163
00:50:27,459 --> 00:50:28,547
I'm sorry, mate.
No!
1164
00:50:31,028 --> 00:50:32,899
Let's... let's go inside.
Yeah, yeah.
1165
00:50:34,727 --> 00:50:36,381
Look, I... I am sorry, Alan.
1166
00:50:37,599 --> 00:50:41,516
Mate...
my sincerest apologies, yeah?
1167
00:50:41,603 --> 00:50:44,128
If there's anything I can do,
you just let me know.
1168
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:48,349
Well, you...
you could step aside
1169
00:50:48,436 --> 00:50:49,698
and let Grace take that spot.
1170
00:50:53,572 --> 00:50:55,226
[CHUCKLES] I'm just kidding.
1171
00:50:55,487 --> 00:50:59,186
[LAUGHS] I'm just kidding.
[CHUCKLES]
1172
00:50:59,795 --> 00:51:02,798
I mean, where'd the fun
in that be, right? [CHUCKLES]
1173
00:51:03,669 --> 00:51:04,844
We're just getting started, pal.
1174
00:51:06,498 --> 00:51:07,455
BRIAN: Yeah.
1175
00:51:07,890 --> 00:51:09,327
SARAH:
That's weird, it's locked.
1176
00:51:13,070 --> 00:51:15,246
Hello? We're back.
1177
00:51:17,726 --> 00:51:18,727
Hello?
1178
00:51:19,946 --> 00:51:22,209
ALAN: Grace, come on.
Time to go, honey.
1179
00:51:22,296 --> 00:51:23,602
Why is it so dark in here?
1180
00:51:24,559 --> 00:51:26,300
Roze?
SARAH: Where are they?
1181
00:51:26,953 --> 00:51:29,129
[GROWLS]
[YELLS]
1182
00:51:29,260 --> 00:51:31,131
[YELLS]
LAUREN: [YELLS] Oh, my gosh!
1183
00:51:31,305 --> 00:51:33,699
[JOE LAUGHS]
1184
00:51:33,829 --> 00:51:35,570
BRIAN: Dad. We've spoken
about this, haven't we?
1185
00:51:35,657 --> 00:51:37,529
[JOE LAUGHS]
BRIAN: No Sasquatch in the house.
1186
00:51:37,746 --> 00:51:39,792
Grace, honey, come on.
Time to go.
1187
00:51:39,966 --> 00:51:41,228
Come on. Oh, there she is.
Boo!
1188
00:51:41,315 --> 00:51:42,273
Boo!
LAUREN: Oh, wow!
1189
00:51:42,360 --> 00:51:43,622
ALAN:
There she is. Look at that.
1190
00:51:44,057 --> 00:51:45,580
Grace, it's time to go.
Where's Roze?
1191
00:51:46,668 --> 00:51:47,713
Where's Ro... Roze?
1192
00:51:47,843 --> 00:51:49,802
I am here, Mr. Alan.
ALAN: Oh.
1193
00:51:49,889 --> 00:51:51,586
Uh, we were having fun.
1194
00:51:52,239 --> 00:51:55,024
No, no. Keep it. It suits you.
1195
00:51:55,155 --> 00:51:56,243
[CHUCKLES]
[LAUGHS]
1196
00:51:56,374 --> 00:51:58,245
Okay, well, that's enough
fun for one day.
1197
00:51:58,332 --> 00:51:59,768
GRACE: Daddy, it's weird here.
1198
00:51:59,855 --> 00:52:01,422
ALAN: Yeah, couldn't agree more.
Let's go, hon.
1199
00:52:01,553 --> 00:52:04,077
[LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING]
1200
00:52:09,256 --> 00:52:11,519
Big day, bubba.
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
1201
00:52:11,650 --> 00:52:13,739
Are you going to hand this in
today or do you want me to?
1202
00:52:13,826 --> 00:52:15,262
No, I'm heading there right now.
1203
00:52:15,393 --> 00:52:17,960
I want to get it in first,
so Mrs. Lawrence reads it first.
1204
00:52:18,091 --> 00:52:19,788
You know what I mean?
Good plan.
1205
00:52:20,702 --> 00:52:21,790
[SIGHS SHARPLY]
1206
00:52:23,140 --> 00:52:25,142
[BELL TOLLING]
1207
00:52:26,839 --> 00:52:28,232
[GRANDFATHER CLOCK CHIMES]
1208
00:52:29,233 --> 00:52:32,192
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Uh, yes. Come in.
1209
00:52:34,586 --> 00:52:36,327
[GASPS] Oh, Mr. Young, come in.
1210
00:52:40,809 --> 00:52:41,767
BRIAN: How you doing?
1211
00:52:41,897 --> 00:52:43,943
Oh, yes,
I'm... I'm very well, thank you.
1212
00:52:44,291 --> 00:52:45,858
Made your mind up yet?
I'm only joking.
1213
00:52:45,945 --> 00:52:47,294
I'm only joking.
[SYLVIA CHUCKLES]
1214
00:52:48,165 --> 00:52:50,123
Maybe this will help.
SYLVIA: Oh.
1215
00:52:51,994 --> 00:52:53,431
Oh, what's that, then?
What's this?
1216
00:52:53,518 --> 00:52:54,823
Oh, that's, um...
1217
00:52:56,173 --> 00:52:58,349
Sorry, it's... it's just
such a moving piece.
1218
00:52:58,523 --> 00:53:01,700
Um... uh, Grace Williams is a--
1219
00:53:01,917 --> 00:53:03,745
Well, she's a hero.
Apparently, last year,
1220
00:53:03,832 --> 00:53:05,660
she brought a woman
out of a coma.
1221
00:53:07,227 --> 00:53:09,055
A... a coma? Wow.
SYLVIA: Hmm.
1222
00:53:10,012 --> 00:53:12,754
Oh, God.
That's... that's unbelievable.
1223
00:53:12,928 --> 00:53:14,321
It... it truly is.
1224
00:53:16,541 --> 00:53:19,979
Anyhoo, um, well,
thank you for stopping by.
1225
00:53:20,066 --> 00:53:21,937
I look forward
to reading about Dylan.
1226
00:53:23,678 --> 00:53:26,159
I don't mind sticking about
a bit longer while you read it.
1227
00:53:26,246 --> 00:53:28,074
And that way, I'm here
if you have any questions
1228
00:53:28,292 --> 00:53:29,467
or you want to know
more about Dylan.
1229
00:53:29,684 --> 00:53:31,860
That won't be necessary,
but thank you, yeah.
1230
00:53:32,165 --> 00:53:33,862
Have a good day.
Okay.
1231
00:53:36,996 --> 00:53:38,476
D'you know, d'you know,
1232
00:53:38,606 --> 00:53:41,043
I've just remembered a couple
of really important details
1233
00:53:41,174 --> 00:53:42,784
that I think you'll find
really interesting.
1234
00:53:43,045 --> 00:53:44,873
Um, I should probably do a quick
revision, so can I just--
1235
00:53:45,047 --> 00:53:47,746
I assure you,
if I require any clarifications,
1236
00:53:47,833 --> 00:53:49,400
I will be in touch.
1237
00:53:49,704 --> 00:53:54,361
I really must attend a meeting
right now, but I assure you,
1238
00:53:54,492 --> 00:53:58,060
once I'm back in this office,
I will read the letter.
1239
00:53:59,932 --> 00:54:02,717
I promise you.
Have a wonderful day, Mr. Young.
1240
00:54:02,848 --> 00:54:04,241
BRIAN: Thank you very much,
Mrs. Lawrence.
1241
00:54:04,371 --> 00:54:05,720
Uh, I really look forward
to hearing from you.
1242
00:54:05,807 --> 00:54:07,287
Do you know Dylan
once gave me his kidney...
1243
00:54:07,809 --> 00:54:08,941
God sake.
1244
00:54:12,379 --> 00:54:15,252
Yeah, right, bloody photoshop.
1245
00:54:16,514 --> 00:54:18,255
ALAN: Hey!
[GASPS]
1246
00:54:19,038 --> 00:54:21,432
Alan, good to see you.
ALAN: Brought you an umbrella.
1247
00:54:21,519 --> 00:54:22,868
Looks like rain.
Wonderful.
1248
00:54:23,390 --> 00:54:26,088
[INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING]
1249
00:54:30,571 --> 00:54:33,792
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
1250
00:54:56,075 --> 00:54:59,078
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
1251
00:55:01,689 --> 00:55:03,474
It's just right up here
around the bend. Oh, wonderful.
1252
00:55:03,604 --> 00:55:04,779
Sorry about the weather.
1253
00:55:04,866 --> 00:55:06,477
SYLVIA: Well,
let's get out of this rain.
1254
00:55:06,738 --> 00:55:07,869
Quick as we can...
1255
00:55:08,087 --> 00:55:10,829
[INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING]
1256
00:55:16,704 --> 00:55:18,053
ALAN:
It's really about the kids.
1257
00:55:18,184 --> 00:55:21,013
SYLVIA: I honestly
don't know, is it? Yes.
1258
00:55:23,276 --> 00:55:24,712
Thank you.
ALAN: After you.
1259
00:55:28,847 --> 00:55:29,891
SYLVIA: Thank you.
1260
00:55:42,600 --> 00:55:43,862
My friends are
already in there, boss,
1261
00:55:43,949 --> 00:55:45,037
Of course.
Thank you.
1262
00:55:46,430 --> 00:55:48,780
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
1263
00:55:50,956 --> 00:55:52,131
Oh, my goodness.
1264
00:55:55,874 --> 00:55:57,832
Is that you, Mrs. Lawrence?
Oh! Uh--
1265
00:55:57,963 --> 00:55:59,225
BRIAN: Wow!
Mr. Young.
1266
00:55:59,486 --> 00:56:01,009
Bloody hell. What a coincidence.
1267
00:56:01,358 --> 00:56:02,881
Hello. Again.
1268
00:56:04,665 --> 00:56:06,624
Alan!
Having a liquid lunch, I see.
1269
00:56:06,798 --> 00:56:07,712
Hmm.
1270
00:56:07,886 --> 00:56:09,322
Well, only,
you know, a small one.
1271
00:56:09,409 --> 00:56:11,803
Oh, no, I wasn't implying
that you're getting drunk.
1272
00:56:11,890 --> 00:56:13,892
I mean, you're allowed
a drink or two at lunch time.
1273
00:56:13,979 --> 00:56:15,415
Not that you're
having two, or...
1274
00:56:16,198 --> 00:56:18,723
I invited Sylvia here
to dine with me this afternoon.
1275
00:56:18,853 --> 00:56:19,898
Lovely.
1276
00:56:20,420 --> 00:56:22,204
It doesn't seem like a conflict
of interest at all, does it?
1277
00:56:23,162 --> 00:56:24,859
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
1278
00:56:25,033 --> 00:56:27,775
Alan donated 30 new laptops
to our preschool.
1279
00:56:28,167 --> 00:56:30,778
Isn't that
a lovely gesture? So sweet.
1280
00:56:32,693 --> 00:56:34,173
Thirty laptops.
1281
00:56:34,521 --> 00:56:37,437
Wowzers.
Listen, can I... can I--
1282
00:56:38,612 --> 00:56:39,439
Thirty of 'em.
1283
00:56:41,223 --> 00:56:42,921
Lauren does give you a lot
of pocket money, doesn't she?
1284
00:56:43,182 --> 00:56:45,532
You lucky thing.
SYLVIA: But please, don't worry.
1285
00:56:45,837 --> 00:56:47,142
Donations won't affect
my decision.
1286
00:56:47,404 --> 00:56:48,492
Yeah.
SYLVIA: I promise you, Mr. Young.
1287
00:56:48,883 --> 00:56:51,103
Of course not. It's merely
a contribution to the community.
1288
00:56:51,799 --> 00:56:55,150
See, Lauren and I believe that
the children are our future.
1289
00:56:55,412 --> 00:56:56,978
Oh.
Yeah, we... we teach them well
1290
00:56:57,065 --> 00:56:59,416
and we let them lead the way.
That's so lovely.
1291
00:56:59,807 --> 00:57:01,896
That's Whitney.
I don't... I don't think it is.
1292
00:57:01,983 --> 00:57:03,202
That's Whitney Houston.
ALAN: No, it's not.
1293
00:57:03,855 --> 00:57:05,465
He's fully just... He's...
he's just nicked what Whitney Houston says,
1294
00:57:05,552 --> 00:57:06,727
and used it
in a conversation with you.
1295
00:57:06,814 --> 00:57:08,163
What?
No, I just made that up.
1296
00:57:08,250 --> 00:57:09,338
Hundred percent
didn't make that up.
1297
00:57:09,556 --> 00:57:11,297
Did I tell you how beautiful
that color is on you?
1298
00:57:11,428 --> 00:57:12,951
What is that, lavender?
[CHUCKLES]
1299
00:57:13,125 --> 00:57:14,213
ALAN: That is your color.
1300
00:57:14,692 --> 00:57:17,608
Anyway, uh...
can we help you today?
1301
00:57:17,782 --> 00:57:18,913
No, thank you.
1302
00:57:19,479 --> 00:57:21,002
Well, I'm famished.
How about you?
1303
00:57:21,176 --> 00:57:23,135
Yeah, uh, let's eat.
Anyway, have a good one.
1304
00:57:23,265 --> 00:57:24,528
BRIAN: Thanks.
SYLVIA: Nice to see you.
1305
00:57:24,615 --> 00:57:26,225
Amazing. Great to see you.
1306
00:57:27,966 --> 00:57:29,097
"I want a glass of vino."
1307
00:57:29,228 --> 00:57:30,403
"What, you want a glass?"
"Oh, yeah!"
1308
00:57:30,534 --> 00:57:31,883
"You haven't bought 30 laptops,
have you?"
1309
00:57:32,013 --> 00:57:33,972
"You don't deserve a glass
of Châteauneuf-du-Pape, do you?"
1310
00:57:34,102 --> 00:57:35,930
"You haven't bought anything."
"You don't buy your way
1311
00:57:36,061 --> 00:57:37,932
into things, do you?" [SHOUTS]
1312
00:57:39,630 --> 00:57:40,979
[SCREAMS IN ANGER]
1313
00:57:56,995 --> 00:57:59,084
JOE: So, the rich guy
got the better of you.
1314
00:57:59,867 --> 00:58:02,217
So what? Let it go.
1315
00:58:03,567 --> 00:58:07,092
Find another school.
No, I can't, Dad. I can't.
1316
00:58:07,179 --> 00:58:09,137
I've worked me tail off
to get him into that school.
1317
00:58:09,311 --> 00:58:10,617
I ain't giving up. Nah.
1318
00:58:11,270 --> 00:58:13,794
Not before that father's
presentation on Friday, I ain't.
1319
00:58:13,881 --> 00:58:17,232
Fifty laptops? That's thousands.
It's not even his money, Dad.
1320
00:58:17,363 --> 00:58:18,843
That's the thing.
He's... he's...
1321
00:58:20,018 --> 00:58:23,674
he's a parasite. I'm gonna smash
the moustache off his face.
1322
00:58:24,022 --> 00:58:28,679
He's got a horrific-- He's got--
He shaved a-- Moustache, fine.
1323
00:58:28,809 --> 00:58:31,508
But what he's done
is he's put this little bit here
1324
00:58:31,638 --> 00:58:33,161
and he's... he's groomed it.
1325
00:58:33,248 --> 00:58:34,380
He's looked himself
in the mirror
1326
00:58:34,467 --> 00:58:37,557
and he's triangled himself.
Who does that?
1327
00:58:38,253 --> 00:58:40,604
I'll find a way. I'll find a way
to do something different.
1328
00:58:40,691 --> 00:58:42,693
I've just...
I've just gotta be...
1329
00:58:43,911 --> 00:58:44,956
creative.
1330
00:58:45,609 --> 00:58:47,959
It's not about the money, it's
about connecting with the kids.
1331
00:58:48,873 --> 00:58:50,744
That's the most sensible thing
you've said this week.
1332
00:58:54,139 --> 00:58:56,010
Since when do you get dressed up
to go to the pub?
1333
00:58:56,184 --> 00:58:57,577
Are you on a hot date
or something, Dad?
1334
00:58:58,404 --> 00:58:59,710
None of your business.
1335
00:59:01,668 --> 00:59:02,626
Right.
1336
00:59:02,974 --> 00:59:04,149
PRESENTER ON TV:
Appreciate your time.
1337
00:59:04,279 --> 00:59:05,193
Well played out there.
1338
00:59:05,280 --> 00:59:06,630
[DOOR CLOSING]
1339
00:59:07,631 --> 00:59:09,154
ANNOUNCER: And we'll be back
for more Wednesday night...
1340
00:59:09,241 --> 00:59:10,155
[SIGHS]
1341
00:59:10,242 --> 00:59:11,199
...football after this break.
1342
00:59:11,635 --> 00:59:14,246
[SINGER] ♪ Everybody toots
[CHILDREN CHEERING]
1343
00:59:14,768 --> 00:59:17,205
I did a toot.
Do you want to do that too?
1344
00:59:17,292 --> 00:59:19,164
[MAKES FARTING SOUND] Hey!
ANNOUNCER: If you've got
1345
00:59:19,251 --> 00:59:20,992
a child that likes
The Wild and Crazies,
1346
00:59:21,079 --> 00:59:24,561
then why not go crazy and come
to a live TV recording tomorrow?
1347
00:59:25,170 --> 00:59:26,954
Guaranteed to impress any kid!
1348
00:59:27,607 --> 00:59:30,567
Live at the Richmond Gate
TV Studios tomorrow!
1349
00:59:30,741 --> 00:59:32,569
[CHILDREN SHOUTING EXCITEDLY]
1350
00:59:34,483 --> 00:59:37,574
[PLAYFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
1351
00:59:42,796 --> 00:59:44,668
Sorry, everyone,
we're at capacity.
1352
00:59:45,190 --> 00:59:46,365
CROWD: What?
I'm sorry,
1353
00:59:46,452 --> 00:59:47,496
I don't make the rules.
[CROWD JEERING]
1354
00:59:47,671 --> 00:59:48,802
SCALPER: I'm sorry, kids,
1355
00:59:48,933 --> 00:59:50,587
we're here again
next week. Try next week.
1356
00:59:51,413 --> 00:59:53,764
Mate, I really need
to get into that show.
1357
00:59:54,025 --> 00:59:55,592
Is there anything you can do?
I can pay you.
1358
00:59:55,679 --> 00:59:57,811
[LOUDLY] Sorry, sir,
the audience is now full.
1359
00:59:58,420 --> 00:59:59,291
[WHISPERS] I can get you in.
1360
00:59:59,421 --> 01:00:00,901
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
What?
1361
01:00:00,988 --> 01:00:02,511
[YELLS] I said
there's no way you're getting
1362
01:00:02,599 --> 01:00:03,948
in there today, sir!
1363
01:00:04,252 --> 01:00:06,341
How many in your group?
Uh, just one.
1364
01:00:06,428 --> 01:00:07,865
Just one?
BRIAN: Yeah.
1365
01:00:07,952 --> 01:00:09,431
Aren't you here with a kid?
No.
1366
01:00:09,780 --> 01:00:10,694
That's a bit creepy, mate.
1367
01:00:10,868 --> 01:00:12,173
Can you get me
into the show or not?
1368
01:00:12,260 --> 01:00:13,261
Yeah, of course, 200 quid.
1369
01:00:13,610 --> 01:00:15,002
[YELLS] Two-hundred pound?
[SHUSHES]
1370
01:00:15,829 --> 01:00:16,874
You want in or not?
1371
01:00:20,573 --> 01:00:21,487
BRIAN: Here.
1372
01:00:21,922 --> 01:00:23,054
[WHISPERS] Down there,
down there, down there.
1373
01:00:26,492 --> 01:00:27,449
Thank you, mate.
1374
01:00:28,973 --> 01:00:34,674
[INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING]
[MONKEY TRILLING, VOCALIZING]
1375
01:00:35,022 --> 01:00:37,764
My mum's a nun. My mum's a nun.
1376
01:00:37,851 --> 01:00:43,596
[VOCALIZING, EXCLAIMING]
1377
01:00:46,164 --> 01:00:49,254
[SINGS]
♪ Hey-oh, hey-oh, hey-oh! ♪Hello.
1378
01:00:50,908 --> 01:00:52,126
[DOOR CLOSING]
Who are you?
1379
01:00:52,605 --> 01:00:56,653
Uh, my name's Brian,
and I'm a massive fan. Massive.
1380
01:00:56,740 --> 01:00:58,437
And so is my son.
Where's your son?
1381
01:00:58,524 --> 01:00:59,743
He's at home.
1382
01:00:59,873 --> 01:01:01,266
No, don't worry.
I'm not a weirdo.
1383
01:01:01,353 --> 01:01:02,746
[BEAR SCOFFS]
I just-- I've come here to ask
1384
01:01:02,833 --> 01:01:05,052
if you'd... if you'd play
at my son's preschool.
1385
01:01:05,139 --> 01:01:06,010
[WILD AND CRAZIES CHUCKLE]
1386
01:01:06,663 --> 01:01:08,577
I... I'd pay you, obviously.
And it... it's for a good cause.
1387
01:01:08,665 --> 01:01:13,408
This, uh, son, is he... sick?
[PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
1388
01:01:14,758 --> 01:01:16,542
Uh, no, he's not.
But he's a good kid.
1389
01:01:16,629 --> 01:01:17,499
[GRUNTS]
1390
01:01:18,413 --> 01:01:24,332
Take a look around you, man, eh?
Look at this. This is live TV.
1391
01:01:24,419 --> 01:01:27,771
This is the big-time.
Do you know what I'm saying?
1392
01:01:28,728 --> 01:01:29,816
Small stuff...
1393
01:01:31,818 --> 01:01:33,646
we don't really do that no more.
1394
01:01:34,691 --> 01:01:37,215
It's taken us years to get here.
1395
01:01:38,912 --> 01:01:41,219
Yeah, I get it, I do, but, um...
1396
01:01:41,959 --> 01:01:43,787
just think of the publicity
you'd receive.
1397
01:01:43,874 --> 01:01:45,266
The... the Wild
and the Crazies...
1398
01:01:45,353 --> 01:01:47,747
It's Wild and Crazy.
BRIAN: What did I say?
1399
01:01:47,834 --> 01:01:49,662
"Wild and Crazies."
BRIAN: Oh, sorry. Wild and C--
1400
01:01:49,749 --> 01:01:51,403
What... what?
We're the Wild and Crazies.
1401
01:01:52,360 --> 01:01:54,580
BRIAN: The Wild and Crazy.
Wild and Crazies.
1402
01:01:54,667 --> 01:01:56,495
BRIAN: The Wild and Crazies...
That's right.
1403
01:01:56,582 --> 01:01:58,584
He says he's a fan.
[WILD AND CRAZIES LAUGHING]
1404
01:01:58,671 --> 01:02:00,020
[LAUGHS]
BRIAN: ...works well with the children...
1405
01:02:00,107 --> 01:02:01,587
Listen to me, right?
1406
01:02:01,674 --> 01:02:03,981
We got a stage,
and it's crying out for us.
1407
01:02:04,068 --> 01:02:08,899
Here! Come on, gang.
[GRUNTS] The stage is calling.
1408
01:02:08,986 --> 01:02:10,727
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen...
1409
01:02:10,857 --> 01:02:13,294
[WILD AND CRAZIES
SHRIEKING, VOCALIZING]
1410
01:02:13,381 --> 01:02:16,384
[GRUNTS, IMITATES FARTING] Hey!
1411
01:02:16,471 --> 01:02:19,866
[GRUNTS] Whoo! [VOCALIZES]
MONKEY: My mum's a nun. My mum's a nun. [VOCALIZES]
1412
01:02:19,953 --> 01:02:21,650
Hey, just hang on a second.
Mate... mate, sorry... sorry.
1413
01:02:21,781 --> 01:02:23,609
Look, look,
you have to do this, please.
1414
01:02:23,740 --> 01:02:25,350
I'm sure there are
some sick kids at that school.
1415
01:02:25,437 --> 01:02:27,178
If there's not, I'll bring some.
Just name your price.
1416
01:02:27,265 --> 01:02:31,704
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
[THE WILD AND CRAZIES WHOOP, LAUGH, CHEER]
1417
01:02:31,791 --> 01:02:37,536
Ho-hey! Hey-ho!
[IMITATES FARTING, LAUGHS]
1418
01:02:37,623 --> 01:02:39,494
Hold on, hold on, hold on
Uh, one second.
1419
01:02:39,581 --> 01:02:41,845
Aren't small, intimate venues
what your group is all about?
1420
01:02:42,236 --> 01:02:44,935
Not this.
Not this, big live TV studios.
1421
01:02:45,239 --> 01:02:46,327
Do you see my point?
1422
01:02:46,458 --> 01:02:47,676
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
1423
01:02:48,199 --> 01:02:49,766
LION: [WHISPERS] Where is he?
[WHISPERS] I don't know. Just go.
1424
01:02:50,375 --> 01:02:52,420
Go, go, go. We're live! [LAUGHS]
1425
01:02:52,507 --> 01:02:54,596
Hey, kids,
we're the Wild and Crazies.
1426
01:02:54,683 --> 01:02:56,337
And we're gonna sing a song
about all the things... Yeah!
1427
01:02:56,424 --> 01:02:57,599
...your bodies can do!
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
1428
01:02:57,686 --> 01:02:59,297
Yeah!
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
1429
01:02:59,384 --> 01:03:04,084
Ah, ah! Hang on, hang on.
[SNEEZES, FARTS]
1430
01:03:04,171 --> 01:03:07,609
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
1431
01:03:07,696 --> 01:03:12,005
Oh, Monkey, are you okay?
I did a toot.
1432
01:03:12,092 --> 01:03:13,964
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
[SINGS] ♪ Everybody toots... ♪
1433
01:03:14,051 --> 01:03:16,270
I mean... I mean--
Hold on. Isn't this selling out?
1434
01:03:16,967 --> 01:03:21,145
We are not sellouts.
[BREATHES HEAVILY]
1435
01:03:21,232 --> 01:03:23,843
All right, don't push me then.
Don't touch my costume!
1436
01:03:23,974 --> 01:03:26,628
Don't touch me, you freak.
[ELEPHANT GROANS]
1437
01:03:26,715 --> 01:03:27,586
Hold on a minute!
1438
01:03:28,326 --> 01:03:30,371
[BURPS] Oh, hang on a minute.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
1439
01:03:30,458 --> 01:03:33,070
Do you know when you do a burp,
and suddenly you can taste it?
1440
01:03:33,200 --> 01:03:36,769
Mine tastes of bananas,
'cause that's my entire diet!
1441
01:03:36,900 --> 01:03:38,902
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
LION: Monkey!
1442
01:03:39,032 --> 01:03:40,729
[SINGS] ♪ Everybody burps
What? Sorry.
1443
01:03:40,817 --> 01:03:42,122
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
1444
01:03:42,209 --> 01:03:43,602
LION: [SINGS]
♪ Everybody burps... ♪
1445
01:03:43,732 --> 01:03:47,171
Get off! [GRUNTS]
[GRUNTS] I'm gonna kick...
1446
01:03:47,824 --> 01:03:50,087
Hey, guess what?
Don't tell everyone,
1447
01:03:50,174 --> 01:03:53,090
but sometimes I get
a bit of an itchy bottom,
1448
01:03:53,177 --> 01:03:57,398
and my finger really stinks
of old bananas.
1449
01:03:57,572 --> 01:04:00,097
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
Monkey! [GROANS]
1450
01:04:00,184 --> 01:04:02,969
[CHUCKLES] And you?
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
1451
01:04:03,056 --> 01:04:04,753
Mm! Ah!
LION: [YELLS] Monkey!
1452
01:04:04,841 --> 01:04:06,364
What?
Monkey! [GROANS]
1453
01:04:06,451 --> 01:04:09,019
Sorry.
[SINGS] ♪ Wash your hands... ♪
1454
01:04:09,149 --> 01:04:10,934
D'you know you're now
my least favorite Crazy,
1455
01:04:11,021 --> 01:04:14,285
do you know that?
[GROANS, GRUNTS]
1456
01:04:14,372 --> 01:04:15,416
ELEPHANT: I don't care.
1457
01:04:16,461 --> 01:04:19,377
And I don't care about
your stupid little kid either.
1458
01:04:20,508 --> 01:04:21,466
[GROANS]
1459
01:04:22,162 --> 01:04:27,080
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
[MUSIC CONCLUDES]
1460
01:04:28,299 --> 01:04:29,517
[GRUNTS]
MONKEY: Oi!
1461
01:04:29,996 --> 01:04:32,869
[AUDIENCE BOOING, SCREAMING]
MONKEY: Kids, don't worry, don't...
1462
01:04:33,304 --> 01:04:34,958
Oi, oi, oi!
[ELEPHANT GROANS]
1463
01:04:35,088 --> 01:04:39,223
MONKEY: Hey!
Give me that guitar! [CROWD CLAMORING OVER TV]
1464
01:04:40,615 --> 01:04:43,444
[GROANS]
[SCREAMS]
1465
01:04:43,531 --> 01:04:46,534
Uh... [CHUCKLES] ...hello. Um...
[GRUNTS] I'm gonna get you.
1466
01:04:46,621 --> 01:04:48,885
MONKEY:
Violence doesn't solve anything.
1467
01:04:49,015 --> 01:04:51,104
As a pacifist myself,
I've often found that
1468
01:04:51,191 --> 01:04:52,627
the best way
to deal with something
1469
01:04:52,714 --> 01:04:53,802
is talking.
1470
01:04:53,890 --> 01:04:55,456
This is the excitement...
[BRIAN GRUNTS]
1471
01:04:55,543 --> 01:04:56,980
...of live television.
[AUDIENCE GASPING]
1472
01:04:57,067 --> 01:04:59,243
You never know
what's gonna happen. [LAUGHS]
1473
01:04:59,373 --> 01:05:01,288
BRIAN: Monkey, you're gonna--
I would say that peace, love, and--
1474
01:05:01,375 --> 01:05:02,724
[AUDIENCE GASPING, SCREAMING]
[GASPS]
1475
01:05:02,811 --> 01:05:04,813
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
1476
01:05:04,901 --> 01:05:06,685
[LAUGHS]
[MONKEY GROANS OVER TV]
1477
01:05:06,772 --> 01:05:07,686
Don't watch it.
1478
01:05:08,121 --> 01:05:13,387
[LAUGHS]
[CROWD CLAMORING OVER TV]
1479
01:05:13,474 --> 01:05:16,956
[SINGS] ♪ Everybody toots
Toots, toots, toots... ♪
1480
01:05:17,783 --> 01:05:19,176
[STATIC OVER TV]
[TV BEEPING]
1481
01:05:19,306 --> 01:05:23,441
[INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING]
[GRACE GIGGLES]
1482
01:05:29,577 --> 01:05:31,188
[MUSIC FADES]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
1483
01:05:31,275 --> 01:05:32,276
[DOOR CLANGING]
1484
01:05:34,060 --> 01:05:36,280
[KEYS JINGLING]
1485
01:05:37,934 --> 01:05:38,804
Hello?
1486
01:05:39,587 --> 01:05:42,503
Excuse me, could I get
another phone call, please?
1487
01:05:42,634 --> 01:05:44,810
My brother was supposed
to be here hours ago.
1488
01:05:45,376 --> 01:05:47,595
Hello? Excuse me! [GROANS]
1489
01:05:49,336 --> 01:05:52,122
[EXHALES]
I... I can see my own breath!
1490
01:05:52,209 --> 01:05:53,384
[EXHALES]
[DOOR CLANGING]
1491
01:05:55,386 --> 01:05:57,083
Is Jeff here?
POLICE CONSTABLE: Out you go.
1492
01:06:02,436 --> 01:06:04,395
CUSTODY SERGEANT:
Sign that for me, please. Oh, you took your time.
1493
01:06:04,482 --> 01:06:06,701
Ah. What a fun way
to say thank you.
1494
01:06:06,788 --> 01:06:07,702
Are you real?
1495
01:06:08,181 --> 01:06:09,617
I just spent
the entire night in there.
1496
01:06:09,704 --> 01:06:10,792
I was absolutely terrified.
1497
01:06:10,879 --> 01:06:12,533
I cried loads.
You're welcome.
1498
01:06:12,620 --> 01:06:13,970
I was just at a gong bath...
[BRIAN SIGHS]
1499
01:06:14,057 --> 01:06:14,927
...with Guru Nova Avalon.
1500
01:06:15,754 --> 01:06:17,103
Wild. And Kate Winslet
was there... CUSTODY SERGEANT: Thank you.
1501
01:06:17,103 --> 01:06:18,017
...but I couldn't tell,
it was dark.
1502
01:06:18,278 --> 01:06:19,584
BRIAN: I swear to God...
Thank you so much.
1503
01:06:19,758 --> 01:06:20,933
...if I don't make it
to my presentation...
1504
01:06:21,020 --> 01:06:22,413
Hey, I saw you on the telly.
1505
01:06:22,587 --> 01:06:24,241
Is it only
children's entertainers
1506
01:06:24,415 --> 01:06:27,505
that you punch these days?
Oh. [LAUGHS] Jeff, shut your mouth, please.
1507
01:06:27,592 --> 01:06:30,943
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[CELLPHONE RINGS, VIBRATES]
1508
01:06:33,990 --> 01:06:35,600
Hi.
BRIAN: Hiya, love.
1509
01:06:35,687 --> 01:06:37,167
Yeah, yeah, no,
I'm with Jeff now.
1510
01:06:37,254 --> 01:06:39,082
He's just got here.
Look, I know I messed up.
1511
01:06:39,169 --> 01:06:40,605
I... I... I know,
I know, I'm so sorry.
1512
01:06:40,692 --> 01:06:42,128
I just--
I don't know what came over me.
1513
01:06:42,215 --> 01:06:43,651
I'm just-- Oh, sorry.
DRUNK WOMAN: I can walk.
1514
01:06:43,782 --> 01:06:45,871
DRUNK WOMAN:
I'm fine, I can walk myself! All right, darling?
1515
01:06:46,002 --> 01:06:47,220
Honestly, Brian, I just...
1516
01:06:47,351 --> 01:06:49,048
I don't really know
what to say to you right now.
1517
01:06:49,179 --> 01:06:50,049
Yeah, I know.
1518
01:06:50,267 --> 01:06:51,616
I... I just wanted
to do something bold.
1519
01:06:51,746 --> 01:06:52,660
Something that would
excite Dylan,
1520
01:06:52,747 --> 01:06:53,792
and impress the school.
1521
01:06:53,879 --> 01:06:55,315
I'm an absolute idiot.
I really am.
1522
01:06:55,533 --> 01:06:57,274
You are.
SARAH: [OVER CELLPHONE] Well that's an understatement.
1523
01:06:57,883 --> 01:06:59,885
Dylan saw it all, by the way.
1524
01:07:00,016 --> 01:07:01,495
Great example
you're setting there.
1525
01:07:01,582 --> 01:07:03,062
BRIAN: Okay, but please know
how sorry I am.
1526
01:07:03,149 --> 01:07:04,020
I really am.
1527
01:07:04,498 --> 01:07:05,760
And I promise I'll make it up
to you and Dylan.
1528
01:07:05,847 --> 01:07:06,848
I really will.
1529
01:07:07,066 --> 01:07:08,502
Right, I have to get
to the presentation.
1530
01:07:08,589 --> 01:07:09,808
I'll call in
and see you after, yeah?
1531
01:07:09,895 --> 01:07:11,679
Wish me luck. Love you.
1532
01:07:11,766 --> 01:07:13,029
I love you. Love you so much.
1533
01:07:13,116 --> 01:07:14,726
Can you just drive?
That's so nice.
1534
01:07:14,856 --> 01:07:16,554
Can you just drive, please?
JEFF: [CHUCKLES] Yeah.
1535
01:07:16,989 --> 01:07:19,209
[GRUNTS] Take that.
What's this?
1536
01:07:19,774 --> 01:07:21,211
JEFF: You can't go in
dressed like that.
1537
01:07:21,298 --> 01:07:22,777
You look like
you're selling magazines.
1538
01:07:22,908 --> 01:07:24,562
I'm not wearing your clothes.
What do you mean, my clothes?
1539
01:07:24,692 --> 01:07:26,390
I'm not wearing--
You... you dress like Tintin.
1540
01:07:26,477 --> 01:07:27,347
Just hurry up and go.
1541
01:07:28,392 --> 01:07:29,958
You should be so lucky
to dress like Tintin. [SIGHS] Come on, let's go!
1542
01:07:29,958 --> 01:07:31,221
Okay, don't wanna alarm you.
1543
01:07:31,569 --> 01:07:33,310
The car doesn't have
a lot of charge. [SEATBELT CLICKING]
1544
01:07:34,006 --> 01:07:35,442
JEFF: Where are you going?
Where are you going?
1545
01:07:35,616 --> 01:07:37,401
BRIAN: I'm gonna get
the bus, Jeff. JEFF: Where are you go--
1546
01:07:37,531 --> 01:07:39,707
Don't get the bus,
you'll get mugged! [CAR DOOR CLOSING]
1547
01:07:39,925 --> 01:07:43,233
[COMMITTEE MEMBERS MURMURING]
Just... just give him a little more time.
1548
01:07:43,320 --> 01:07:45,409
No, seriously,
three more minutes,
1549
01:07:45,496 --> 01:07:46,366
nothing else.
1550
01:07:46,975 --> 01:07:49,500
I promise you,
his son is quite extraordinary.
1551
01:07:49,587 --> 01:07:50,414
You're going to--
1552
01:07:52,633 --> 01:07:54,940
Brian, you made it!
Sorry, I got locked up.
1553
01:07:55,071 --> 01:07:56,333
[GROANS]
I meant locked up into a meeting.
1554
01:07:56,463 --> 01:07:59,292
I'm so sorry. Sorry.
[COMMITTEE MEMBERS MURMURING]
1555
01:07:59,771 --> 01:08:02,817
Gosh, it's a...
interesting outfit.
1556
01:08:02,948 --> 01:08:05,864
Uh, Brian, could you take
the podium, please?
1557
01:08:06,647 --> 01:08:09,346
Yeah. [BREATHES HEAVILY]
1558
01:08:13,698 --> 01:08:15,830
I'm very sorry, I haven't...
I haven't prepared anything.
1559
01:08:16,135 --> 01:08:17,310
Um, I...
1560
01:08:17,658 --> 01:08:19,225
SYLVIA: That's all right.
That's all right, Brian. Yeah.
1561
01:08:19,312 --> 01:08:20,400
SYLVIA: Just, um...
1562
01:08:20,618 --> 01:08:23,229
Brian, what do you think
that Puggsley could do
1563
01:08:23,316 --> 01:08:24,578
for your son, Dylan?
1564
01:08:24,970 --> 01:08:30,497
Okay, uh...
[BREATHES DEEPLY] Um...
1565
01:08:32,282 --> 01:08:33,761
The Puggsley Academy
of Excellence
1566
01:08:33,848 --> 01:08:35,720
can give my son
the opportunities that...
1567
01:08:36,851 --> 01:08:37,896
that I never had.
1568
01:08:41,117 --> 01:08:42,727
I was a football star at school.
1569
01:08:44,250 --> 01:08:45,121
My coach and my dad,
1570
01:08:45,425 --> 01:08:47,427
they... they were prepping me
for the pros.
1571
01:08:48,298 --> 01:08:49,603
I barely went to class.
1572
01:08:50,952 --> 01:08:53,390
And me teachers
passed me, but... [UPLIFTING MUSIC PLAYING]
1573
01:08:53,477 --> 01:08:55,000
...no one cared
to push me because...
1574
01:08:55,957 --> 01:08:58,960
'cause I was a star.
And then I broke my ankle.
1575
01:09:00,310 --> 01:09:03,400
I couldn't play anymore.
There I was, 18, and...
1576
01:09:03,487 --> 01:09:06,185
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
...and quite washed up, I was.
1577
01:09:08,753 --> 01:09:09,623
So, I...
1578
01:09:10,668 --> 01:09:11,538
so, I left school,
1579
01:09:12,017 --> 01:09:13,323
and I started digging ditches
on construction sites
1580
01:09:13,410 --> 01:09:14,585
for the next five years.
1581
01:09:15,847 --> 01:09:17,283
I didn't make it back
to university
1582
01:09:17,370 --> 01:09:18,241
till my late 20s,
1583
01:09:18,676 --> 01:09:20,808
and... and I struggled
through business school.
1584
01:09:21,157 --> 01:09:24,290
[SIGHS] I did...
I did everything backwards.
1585
01:09:26,901 --> 01:09:29,339
And I... I just don't want Dylan
to make the same mistake.
1586
01:09:30,731 --> 01:09:31,732
Don't get me wrong...
1587
01:09:32,733 --> 01:09:35,040
the world needs ditch diggers
as much as it needs doctors,
1588
01:09:35,127 --> 01:09:37,912
but... I just want Dylan
to have the choice...
1589
01:09:39,087 --> 01:09:40,437
to be a doctor
or a ditch digger,
1590
01:09:40,524 --> 01:09:41,786
if... if that's what he wants.
1591
01:09:50,838 --> 01:09:52,710
And I believe
that Puggsley can give my son
1592
01:09:52,797 --> 01:09:54,755
the freedom
that... that I never had.
1593
01:09:57,323 --> 01:09:58,498
Thank you very much
for listening to me.
1594
01:09:58,585 --> 01:10:00,805
I'm... I'm sorry
I didn't have anything...
1595
01:10:00,892 --> 01:10:02,067
I didn't have anything prepared.
1596
01:10:02,154 --> 01:10:03,851
Uh, I... I did,
but... don't matter.
1597
01:10:03,938 --> 01:10:05,853
That was...
that was wonderful, Brian. BRIAN: Thank you.
1598
01:10:05,940 --> 01:10:08,247
Thank you so much. Thank you.
BRIAN: Thank you. I'll just--
1599
01:10:08,378 --> 01:10:10,249
Thank you very much. Cheers.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
1600
01:10:13,034 --> 01:10:17,517
[DOOR OPENING]
[PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
1601
01:10:17,604 --> 01:10:18,431
[GASPS]
1602
01:10:20,651 --> 01:10:23,262
Brian, did you meet
the Wild and Crazies?
1603
01:10:23,349 --> 01:10:24,742
Oh, that's right,
of course you have.
1604
01:10:25,482 --> 01:10:26,787
But don't worry,
I... I told them...
1605
01:10:26,874 --> 01:10:28,224
I told them you're going
through a rough time.
1606
01:10:28,311 --> 01:10:30,661
All right?
All's forgiven. All right?
1607
01:10:36,188 --> 01:10:39,365
[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
1608
01:10:39,452 --> 01:10:40,323
Sha.
Sha.
1609
01:10:40,497 --> 01:10:41,846
ELEPHANT: Sha!
MONKEY: Sha-da-di-dah!
1610
01:10:46,329 --> 01:10:49,593
[SINGS]
♪ She's not just a pretty face
1611
01:10:50,246 --> 01:10:53,336
♪ She'll build rockets
To outer space ♪
1612
01:10:53,988 --> 01:10:58,428
♪ Einstein's got nothing
On my Grace ♪
1613
01:11:02,170 --> 01:11:05,565
♪ No children's book
She hasn't read ♪
1614
01:11:06,087 --> 01:11:09,265
♪ She almost never wets
The bed ♪
1615
01:11:09,613 --> 01:11:13,878
♪ She is my everything
My Grace ♪
1616
01:11:16,489 --> 01:11:21,494
♪ Whoo-ooh, say Grace
1617
01:11:23,975 --> 01:11:27,195
♪ And when her daddy
Has to leave town ♪
1618
01:11:27,631 --> 01:11:30,634
♪ You cross her
And I'll cut you down ♪
1619
01:11:31,504 --> 01:11:35,943
♪ She is my little miracle
My Grace ♪
1620
01:11:39,164 --> 01:11:41,035
♪Yes, she is
1621
01:11:42,167 --> 01:11:44,300
[IMITATES MONKEY CHATTERING]
[SINGS] ♪ My little miracle
1622
01:11:45,997 --> 01:11:47,781
♪ My Grace
1623
01:11:48,216 --> 01:11:51,829
♪ Whoo-ooh
God, he's... he's so good.
1624
01:11:51,916 --> 01:11:54,048
♪ Say Grace ♪
1625
01:11:55,180 --> 01:11:59,010
THE WILD AND CRAZIES:
♪ Whoo-ooh ♪ ♪ Whoo-ooh
1626
01:11:59,097 --> 01:12:04,276
THE WILD AND CRAZIES:
♪ Say Grace ♪ Say Grace ♪
1627
01:12:04,363 --> 01:12:05,756
[MUSIC FADES]
1628
01:12:06,191 --> 01:12:08,628
[COMMITTEE MEMBERS
CHEERING, APPLAUDING] [LAUGHS] That's great, Alan.
1629
01:12:09,237 --> 01:12:11,979
[CHUCKLES] That's extraordinary.
1630
01:12:15,374 --> 01:12:16,941
Hey, we'll see you
at the restaurant opening.
1631
01:12:17,245 --> 01:12:19,291
Jeff?
[PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
1632
01:12:19,378 --> 01:12:20,727
I'm gonna need those tickets.
1633
01:12:22,947 --> 01:12:27,908
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
1634
01:12:30,389 --> 01:12:33,261
Two quacking ducks, 22.
[RESIDENTS QUACKING]
1635
01:12:33,349 --> 01:12:35,873
Hello, everyone.
How are you all?
1636
01:12:35,960 --> 01:12:37,527
You okay?
Brian, we've missed you.
1637
01:12:37,962 --> 01:12:39,442
And I have missed you lot...
Hi!
1638
01:12:39,529 --> 01:12:41,269
Hi, Janice. Are you okay?
JANICE: Hello.
1639
01:12:41,357 --> 01:12:43,489
I have come
to take you all out for dinner.
1640
01:12:43,576 --> 01:12:45,535
How does that sound?
[RESIDENTS CHEERING]
1641
01:12:45,665 --> 01:12:47,363
What about Sarah?
BRIAN: Sarah knows.
1642
01:12:47,493 --> 01:12:49,669
Hi!
Hiya, Janice. You okay?
1643
01:12:49,756 --> 01:12:53,020
Right. I've got prize tickets
to a restaurant opening.
1644
01:12:53,151 --> 01:12:54,718
Yeah?
[RESIDENTS CHEERING]
1645
01:12:54,805 --> 01:12:55,806
So, this way, everyone.
1646
01:12:56,284 --> 01:12:58,156
Come on, Janice, get your coat.
Let's do this! Hi.
1647
01:12:58,243 --> 01:13:02,160
["SEX BOOST" BY SAM NEIDER
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
1648
01:13:10,821 --> 01:13:15,347
♪ Do you want
Another love drug? ♪
1649
01:13:16,566 --> 01:13:21,701
♪ Maybe you need another toy?
1650
01:13:21,832 --> 01:13:23,964
Oh, you gotta try one of these,
this is the best. Really?
1651
01:13:24,095 --> 01:13:25,139
They're all great,
but I would try
1652
01:13:25,226 --> 01:13:26,750
that one right there. Yeah.
Oh, wow.
1653
01:13:26,837 --> 01:13:28,578
Right, in you get.
Come on, spread out.
1654
01:13:28,665 --> 01:13:30,144
Bar's over there,
so help yourselves.
1655
01:13:30,710 --> 01:13:31,624
Don't be shy.
1656
01:13:32,016 --> 01:13:33,931
Just do Jägerbombs.
Ask for a Jägerbomb.
1657
01:13:34,453 --> 01:13:35,672
Jägerbombs all round
for everybody.
1658
01:13:36,150 --> 01:13:38,065
Alright, dancing,
dancing, dancing.
1659
01:13:38,239 --> 01:13:41,678
You got a babysitter, Jan?
Uh, pardon me for one second.
1660
01:13:47,031 --> 01:13:48,336
Hi.
Oh, hi, Alano.
1661
01:13:48,554 --> 01:13:50,469
What... what...
what... what is this?
1662
01:13:50,600 --> 01:13:51,775
These are your radio winners.
1663
01:13:51,905 --> 01:13:53,124
No, those are not
my radio winners.
1664
01:13:53,211 --> 01:13:54,212
What are you talking about?
1665
01:13:55,126 --> 01:13:56,910
BRIAN: Well, they've all got
a ticket, Alan, so... ALAN: What? [GRUNTS]
1666
01:13:58,346 --> 01:14:01,524
What are you doing?
Huh? Are you try--
1667
01:14:01,611 --> 01:14:04,048
Sorry, Sebastian.
Champagne's for toffs. [MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY]
1668
01:14:04,135 --> 01:14:05,441
He smells like urine.
1669
01:14:05,528 --> 01:14:06,833
Yeah, he does.
You smell that?
1670
01:14:07,443 --> 01:14:09,009
What are you doing?
I can get rid of them.
1671
01:14:09,096 --> 01:14:10,794
I can get rid
of them all right now. What... [GRUNTS]
1672
01:14:10,881 --> 01:14:12,273
BRIAN: I'll take them
for fish and chips.
1673
01:14:12,360 --> 01:14:13,449
Just relinquish your spot.
1674
01:14:13,579 --> 01:14:14,972
[GLASSES SHATTERING]
[SIGHS]
1675
01:14:15,059 --> 01:14:17,409
Oh, oh! Oh!
[RESIDENT 1 GRUNTS]
1676
01:14:17,496 --> 01:14:20,194
You get 'em out of here
if I step down. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
1677
01:14:22,762 --> 01:14:28,028
[CHUCKLES, GROANS]
[RESIDENT 1 CHUCKLES, GROANS]
1678
01:14:28,115 --> 01:14:32,511
♪ I'm your little devil
Sink my teeth in deep ♪
1679
01:14:32,642 --> 01:14:36,994
[PENSIVE MUSIC OVERLAPPING]
1680
01:14:38,125 --> 01:14:38,996
Never.
1681
01:14:41,389 --> 01:14:43,391
It's on, pal. It is on.
Okay.
1682
01:14:43,522 --> 01:14:44,567
You hear me?
I do.
1683
01:14:44,654 --> 01:14:45,785
It is so on.
Okay.
1684
01:14:45,872 --> 01:14:46,960
It is so on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1685
01:14:47,134 --> 01:14:48,658
You are gonna regret
the day you met me.
1686
01:14:48,745 --> 01:14:50,137
I already do.
ALAN: You're going down.
1687
01:14:52,444 --> 01:14:53,314
Judy...
1688
01:14:54,490 --> 01:14:55,403
where is everyone?
1689
01:14:55,839 --> 01:14:57,623
JUDY: They went out to eat
with Brian, remember?
1690
01:14:58,450 --> 01:15:00,800
What?
JUDY: Some restaurant opening.
1691
01:15:01,061 --> 01:15:03,629
He has prize tickets.
He said you knew.
1692
01:15:03,716 --> 01:15:06,414
♪ I'm your little angel ♪
1693
01:15:06,545 --> 01:15:08,112
♪ Dance on blood
That's from your heart ♪
1694
01:15:08,591 --> 01:15:09,983
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
1695
01:15:10,070 --> 01:15:11,376
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
1696
01:15:11,637 --> 01:15:13,944
What are you doing? Give me--
[MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY, GROANS]
1697
01:15:14,118 --> 01:15:15,075
[ALAN GRUNTS]
[CROWD GASPING]
1698
01:15:15,206 --> 01:15:16,642
SEBASTIAN: That's no way
to treat a lady!
1699
01:15:16,729 --> 01:15:19,297
Oh, my God.
Alan, uh, a towel?
1700
01:15:19,427 --> 01:15:21,168
I'm sorry.
SYLVIA: Can... can I... can I get a towel?
1701
01:15:21,255 --> 01:15:22,256
Yes, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1702
01:15:22,430 --> 01:15:23,606
Oh, let me... let me get...
SYLVIA: Towel?
1703
01:15:23,910 --> 01:15:25,303
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Get off!
1704
01:15:25,433 --> 01:15:27,610
[ALAN GRUNTS]
If you take another one of my drinks,
1705
01:15:27,697 --> 01:15:29,916
I'm gonna kick your ass!
[CROWD GASPING]
1706
01:15:30,003 --> 01:15:32,832
SEBASTIAN: I fought
in Korea, you know. [GRUNTS] [GRUNTS] You're so strong.
1707
01:15:33,398 --> 01:15:36,401
I'll see you Monday, Alan.
No, Mrs. Lawrence, hold on.
1708
01:15:36,488 --> 01:15:37,445
SYLVIA: Excuse me. Excuse me.
1709
01:15:37,533 --> 01:15:39,447
[SEBASTIAN GRUNTS]
[GRUNTS] Come on!
1710
01:15:40,753 --> 01:15:44,452
Hey! Uh, get... get off me!
I haven't finished with him yet!
1711
01:15:44,540 --> 01:15:46,542
RESIDENT 2: Go on, Sebastian...
1712
01:15:51,851 --> 01:15:52,678
[SNIFFLES]
1713
01:16:04,690 --> 01:16:06,126
[INHALES DEEPLY]
1714
01:16:07,780 --> 01:16:09,652
[MUSIC FADES]
1715
01:16:09,739 --> 01:16:10,609
Are you gonna give me
1716
01:16:10,696 --> 01:16:12,437
the silent treatment
or not then?
1717
01:16:14,439 --> 01:16:15,309
No.
1718
01:16:17,007 --> 01:16:18,791
No. I'm gonna do
the opposite of that.
1719
01:16:19,705 --> 01:16:20,576
I'm gonna talk,
1720
01:16:20,924 --> 01:16:22,578
and for once, Brian,
you're gonna listen to me.
1721
01:16:24,101 --> 01:16:26,582
You've been acting
like an absolute lunatic.
1722
01:16:27,452 --> 01:16:30,847
I... [SCOFFS] ...I love how much
you care about Dylan's future,
1723
01:16:30,934 --> 01:16:32,283
I admire your passion,
1724
01:16:32,370 --> 01:16:33,980
But this isn't even
about him anymore, is it?
1725
01:16:34,067 --> 01:16:35,155
It's about you.
1726
01:16:37,375 --> 01:16:38,245
Like...
1727
01:16:39,682 --> 01:16:42,075
you've been in fights,
you've been in jail,
1728
01:16:42,293 --> 01:16:43,686
you've kidnapped
senior citizens.
1729
01:16:43,773 --> 01:16:45,383
I mean, who does that?
1730
01:16:47,298 --> 01:16:50,257
I was on board
with applying to Puggsley.
1731
01:16:50,344 --> 01:16:52,564
I stand by that
no matter what, right?
1732
01:16:52,651 --> 01:16:54,871
But we need to get back
to making decisions together.
1733
01:16:56,089 --> 01:16:59,005
We are a brilliant team
when we're on the same page.
1734
01:17:00,398 --> 01:17:02,313
Can we please get back on it?
1735
01:17:04,315 --> 01:17:05,403
Okay?
Yeah.
1736
01:17:05,577 --> 01:17:06,622
SARAH: Right.
1737
01:17:07,927 --> 01:17:10,451
[SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]
1738
01:17:11,670 --> 01:17:14,194
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
1739
01:17:15,195 --> 01:17:17,023
LAUREN: Found you.
Hey.
1740
01:17:18,503 --> 01:17:19,373
LAUREN: Hi.
1741
01:17:23,726 --> 01:17:24,814
It'll be all right.
1742
01:17:28,121 --> 01:17:28,992
We'll sort this.
1743
01:17:29,645 --> 01:17:31,995
There isn't a single problem
we can't find a way to fix.
1744
01:17:33,083 --> 01:17:34,475
I know
this night was huge for you,
1745
01:17:34,562 --> 01:17:36,173
and I know
how hard you've worked.
1746
01:17:36,695 --> 01:17:38,131
But I also know this business,
1747
01:17:38,218 --> 01:17:40,046
and I know
how many challenges there are,
1748
01:17:40,133 --> 01:17:42,483
and this is
just a minor setback.
1749
01:17:44,224 --> 01:17:45,356
It's a glitch.
1750
01:17:52,102 --> 01:17:53,930
Steel sharpens steel, remember?
1751
01:17:56,062 --> 01:18:01,067
[INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING]
1752
01:18:06,725 --> 01:18:07,595
Yeah.
1753
01:18:09,293 --> 01:18:10,250
Yeah, I know.
1754
01:18:25,831 --> 01:18:27,703
What the...
[MUSIC FADES]
1755
01:18:30,053 --> 01:18:31,532
Oh, you must be mad.
1756
01:18:34,405 --> 01:18:39,192
Eh, mate, oi!
What's this? What's going on?
1757
01:18:41,020 --> 01:18:42,805
What's going on?
What's all this?
1758
01:18:42,979 --> 01:18:44,720
We have to shut you down
for the next few weeks
1759
01:18:44,807 --> 01:18:46,504
until we get the situation
under control.
1760
01:18:46,591 --> 01:18:48,549
Few weeks?
Mate, I can't afford a few days.
1761
01:18:48,636 --> 01:18:49,550
We've had no issues.
1762
01:18:49,942 --> 01:18:51,683
I have never seen
an infestation of this degree
1763
01:18:51,770 --> 01:18:52,815
in my entire career.
1764
01:18:52,945 --> 01:18:54,730
This entire area
is a health hazard.
1765
01:18:54,817 --> 01:18:56,122
It can't be that bad, surely?
1766
01:18:56,949 --> 01:18:58,734
Have you seen them?
Seen what?
1767
01:18:58,864 --> 01:19:00,431
My hands are tied. I'm sorry.
1768
01:19:00,736 --> 01:19:02,259
I'll be sending you out
some official paperwork
1769
01:19:02,346 --> 01:19:04,827
for you to fill out ASAP.
And there's lots of it.
1770
01:19:05,305 --> 01:19:08,744
Best of luck to you.
Brilliant. Wicked.
1771
01:19:10,136 --> 01:19:11,137
[YELLS] No!
1772
01:19:17,796 --> 01:19:20,625
What's happened?
Alan has happened, Sarah.
1773
01:19:20,712 --> 01:19:21,974
SARAH: What?
He's infested me.
1774
01:19:22,409 --> 01:19:24,803
Infested you with what?
I don't know, I don't know,
1775
01:19:24,890 --> 01:19:26,718
but they've shut...
they've shut me down for weeks.
1776
01:19:26,805 --> 01:19:29,329
What?
Who does that? How'd you do that?
1777
01:19:29,416 --> 01:19:32,419
How'd you...
how'd you start an infestation? [INSECT SKITTERING]
1778
01:19:32,506 --> 01:19:34,247
BRIAN: He's obviously
a sociopath, isn't he?
1779
01:19:35,988 --> 01:19:37,860
Uh, babe, babe.
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
1780
01:19:38,686 --> 01:19:39,818
He knew!
SARAH: Just...
1781
01:19:39,905 --> 01:19:42,778
He bloody knew
that this'd mess me up.
1782
01:19:42,995 --> 01:19:44,867
I'd be more freaked out
if I weren't so pissed off.
1783
01:19:44,954 --> 01:19:46,607
He's a very sick man.
He needs help.
1784
01:19:46,694 --> 01:19:50,133
[EXHALES] Babe, just--
Will you just stay calm... BRIAN: What?
1785
01:19:50,873 --> 01:19:53,179
...and just--
Sorry. Just because--
1786
01:19:53,266 --> 01:19:55,616
Just... just on... on--
It's on you.
1787
01:19:56,748 --> 01:19:57,662
Just stay calm.
1788
01:19:58,271 --> 01:20:04,103
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
[SCREAMS, ECHOES, FADES]
1789
01:20:12,416 --> 01:20:13,765
Brian, what...
what are you doing?
1790
01:20:13,852 --> 01:20:16,855
Brian, you're scaring me.
Look at your face!
1791
01:20:16,942 --> 01:20:19,162
We've gotta go to the hospital.
What are you doing?
1792
01:20:19,336 --> 01:20:22,121
Hey, Brian, you taking
the day off from work?
1793
01:20:22,208 --> 01:20:23,427
What... what are you doing?
1794
01:20:23,514 --> 01:20:25,429
Brian, what are you doing
with that?
1795
01:20:25,516 --> 01:20:28,040
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
[DISTORTED] Brian!
1796
01:20:29,041 --> 01:20:32,131
Well, uh, there's something
very wrong with your face.
1797
01:20:32,218 --> 01:20:33,611
[GRUMBLES INDISTINCTLY]
1798
01:20:33,698 --> 01:20:34,699
Yeah, I... I...
I can't understand
1799
01:20:34,786 --> 01:20:35,700
what you're saying.
1800
01:20:36,005 --> 01:20:36,962
Maybe it's 'cause your face
is so huge.
1801
01:20:37,049 --> 01:20:39,617
[GRUMBLES INDISTINCTLY]
1802
01:20:39,704 --> 01:20:41,401
[STUTTERS] I don't know
what you're saying.
1803
01:20:41,488 --> 01:20:44,143
[SCREAMS, GRUMBLES INDISTINCTLY]
1804
01:20:44,317 --> 01:20:45,318
Brian, stop it.
1805
01:20:45,623 --> 01:20:47,016
Brian, don't you dare.
Whoa, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
1806
01:20:47,103 --> 01:20:48,539
What are you doing?
SARAH: Brian, stop it! Don't...
1807
01:20:48,626 --> 01:20:50,236
Brian, what... what...
what are you doing? Stop it! Brian?
1808
01:20:50,323 --> 01:20:51,585
What are you doing?
1809
01:20:51,672 --> 01:20:54,806
[MUSIC INTENSIFIES]
1810
01:20:54,937 --> 01:21:00,464
[IN SLOW MOTION]
No! No! No, no, no!
1811
01:21:00,638 --> 01:21:03,554
[HEAVENLY MUSIC PLAYING]
Oh my God!
1812
01:21:04,729 --> 01:21:08,428
[ALAN BREATHES HEAVILY]
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
1813
01:21:09,386 --> 01:21:10,822
Oh, my God.
1814
01:21:11,605 --> 01:21:12,737
[GRUNTS]
1815
01:21:12,868 --> 01:21:14,652
[SLEDGEHAMMER THUDS]
SARAH: Lauren!
1816
01:21:14,782 --> 01:21:18,003
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
1817
01:21:24,749 --> 01:21:29,885
[BREATHES HEAVILY]
[BREATHES HEAVILY]
1818
01:21:32,888 --> 01:21:37,501
[BOTH SCREAM, GRUNT]
1819
01:21:37,588 --> 01:21:39,764
[LAUGHS]
1820
01:21:39,851 --> 01:21:43,768
[GROANS]
[PANTS, GRUNTS]
1821
01:21:43,855 --> 01:21:46,292
[BOTH PANT]
1822
01:21:47,032 --> 01:21:50,688
[GRUNTS]
[GRUNTS, GROANS]
1823
01:21:50,862 --> 01:21:55,301
[BOTH PANT, GRUNT]
1824
01:22:01,917 --> 01:22:02,961
BRIAN: What are you doing?
1825
01:22:03,788 --> 01:22:05,268
I wouldn't want you
to forget this.
1826
01:22:05,616 --> 01:22:06,530
Alan!
1827
01:22:08,010 --> 01:22:10,534
No! No!
Oh, felt so good.
1828
01:22:10,621 --> 01:22:16,453
["LIBIAMO NE'LIETI CALICI"
PLAYING] [BOTH GRUNT]
1829
01:22:27,943 --> 01:22:29,945
Hold on, hold on. [GRUNTS]
[GRUNTS]
1830
01:22:33,426 --> 01:22:37,126
I'm gonna body flip you off!
[GRUNTS, GROANS] [BREATHES HEAVILY, GROANS]
1831
01:22:39,389 --> 01:22:41,217
[BOTH GRUNT]
1832
01:22:41,304 --> 01:22:43,654
[BOTH BREATHE HEAVILY]
1833
01:22:45,438 --> 01:22:49,965
[BOTH GRUNT, GROAN]
1834
01:22:53,969 --> 01:22:57,668
Oh, no! [STRAINS] Brian!
[GRUNTS]
1835
01:22:58,930 --> 01:23:01,150
[GRUNTS]
[GROANS]
1836
01:23:02,803 --> 01:23:07,808
[GRUNTS, SCREAMS]
[GRUNTS] Yeah, I got you!
1837
01:23:07,895 --> 01:23:08,809
Don't break it!
1838
01:23:09,071 --> 01:23:10,115
I'll break your arm.
ALAN: I'll break it.
1839
01:23:10,202 --> 01:23:12,074
BRIAN: I'll break your arm,
by God!
1840
01:23:12,161 --> 01:23:16,513
What is going on?
Stop it! Stop it! Stop! Stop it, guys! Stop!
1841
01:23:16,600 --> 01:23:18,341
[MUSIC CONCLUDES]
[BOTH BREATHE HEAVILY]
1842
01:23:18,428 --> 01:23:19,472
What are you doing?
1843
01:23:20,125 --> 01:23:21,779
He came rolling in here
like a troll... [MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY]
1844
01:23:21,866 --> 01:23:26,088
wielding an actual weapon.
And he destroyed our family...
1845
01:23:26,392 --> 01:23:27,567
Babe, he destroyed
our family history
1846
01:23:27,654 --> 01:23:28,568
with a sledgehammer.
1847
01:23:29,395 --> 01:23:30,657
Uh, I don't care
about the statue. There's nothing this guy...
1848
01:23:30,657 --> 01:23:32,094
I hate that statue.
It's not even real.
1849
01:23:32,181 --> 01:23:33,965
What?
I made the whole thing up to impress you, Alan
1850
01:23:34,052 --> 01:23:35,749
I got it from a garden center
in Chiswick.
1851
01:23:36,272 --> 01:23:38,230
There used
to be a beautiful big oak tree
1852
01:23:38,317 --> 01:23:39,188
in that spot there,
1853
01:23:39,492 --> 01:23:41,799
filled with birds,
and bees, and insects.
1854
01:23:41,886 --> 01:23:42,887
Sorry to mention it, Brian.
1855
01:23:43,148 --> 01:23:44,932
But my great-great-grandfather
cut it down
1856
01:23:45,020 --> 01:23:47,022
during an argument about
where his land ended.
1857
01:23:47,109 --> 01:23:48,675
And so I can see
the cycle is continuing.
1858
01:23:49,154 --> 01:23:50,634
Carry on then.
Beat each other up.
1859
01:23:50,721 --> 01:23:53,463
Knock it all down! [SCREAMS]
1860
01:23:53,550 --> 01:23:56,161
[SIGHS DEEPLY] Fix it.
1861
01:23:57,119 --> 01:24:01,993
Yeah. Fix yourselves.
Brian, this is embarrassing.
1862
01:24:02,254 --> 01:24:05,649
You've lost it.
I am this close. Yeah?
1863
01:24:06,650 --> 01:24:08,173
I need a drink.
Yeah, so do I.
1864
01:24:08,260 --> 01:24:10,219
Do you want to go for a drink?
Yes, I do.
1865
01:24:10,349 --> 01:24:11,263
Sort it out!
1866
01:24:12,786 --> 01:24:17,965
[GRUNTS, BREATHES HEAVILY]
[BREATHES HEAVILY]
1867
01:24:26,713 --> 01:24:27,627
Get off.
1868
01:24:29,629 --> 01:24:31,544
I just think you need a doctor.
Yeah, I-- Yeah.
1869
01:24:32,893 --> 01:24:37,159
[CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
[AMBULANCE SIREN WAILING]
1870
01:24:50,824 --> 01:24:53,305
Spiders, really?
Hmm. Yeah.
1871
01:24:53,784 --> 01:24:55,307
Uh, you... you destroyed
my restaurant.
1872
01:24:56,656 --> 01:24:58,528
It's an early-bird
special diner now.
1873
01:24:59,485 --> 01:25:00,704
So, yeah, spiders.
1874
01:25:02,227 --> 01:25:04,186
Well, I'm very sorry
about your restaurant.
1875
01:25:07,624 --> 01:25:09,104
I'm sorry about your face.
1876
01:25:11,193 --> 01:25:12,716
Thank you.
Yeah.
1877
01:25:13,282 --> 01:25:14,935
Does it hurt?
BRIAN: Yeah.
1878
01:25:15,632 --> 01:25:16,894
It looks really stupid.
1879
01:25:18,374 --> 01:25:19,984
I'm very aware of that.
1880
01:25:21,725 --> 01:25:23,248
Your cardigan looks stupid.
1881
01:25:30,908 --> 01:25:34,390
Seems like, uh, Lauren and Sarah
really hit it off.
1882
01:25:34,781 --> 01:25:37,610
Mm.
Right? [EXHALES DEEPLY]
1883
01:25:37,784 --> 01:25:38,959
I bet they're having
a good laugh
1884
01:25:39,525 --> 01:25:41,397
at our expense right now.
Oh, I don't think they're laughing.
1885
01:25:42,615 --> 01:25:44,269
[UPBEAT MUSIC
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] LAUREN: Mm!
1886
01:25:44,443 --> 01:25:45,357
Mm!
1887
01:25:47,229 --> 01:25:50,754
Oh, uh... [EXHALES]
Oh wowzers. Oh, no.
1888
01:25:51,581 --> 01:25:53,452
I just need Alan to realize
that he's enough.
1889
01:25:54,279 --> 01:25:55,411
He's more than enough.
1890
01:25:55,541 --> 01:25:56,629
I mean, Brian's had
his own business
1891
01:25:56,716 --> 01:25:57,935
since he was 21.
1892
01:25:58,022 --> 01:25:59,676
I have no idea
what he's trying to prove.
1893
01:25:59,763 --> 01:26:01,068
LAUREN: Idiots!
It's ridiculous.
1894
01:26:01,982 --> 01:26:02,853
God.
1895
01:26:06,596 --> 01:26:07,771
D'you know...
1896
01:26:11,296 --> 01:26:13,211
I realize
I got way too obsessed.
1897
01:26:16,432 --> 01:26:18,129
Not just about a preschool spot,
1898
01:26:18,608 --> 01:26:20,175
even though
that is very important...
1899
01:26:21,045 --> 01:26:21,915
but also...
1900
01:26:23,265 --> 01:26:25,310
I just want Dylan to have
everything that you have.
1901
01:26:27,051 --> 01:26:29,401
And I... I feel like
such a fraud
1902
01:26:29,967 --> 01:26:31,621
trying to get him into a school
that's so different
1903
01:26:31,708 --> 01:26:33,231
to anything
that I had growing up.
1904
01:26:37,801 --> 01:26:39,368
You've earned
everything you got.
1905
01:26:41,935 --> 01:26:42,849
You went out there,
1906
01:26:43,328 --> 01:26:44,677
and you built something
for yourself, that's...
1907
01:26:44,764 --> 01:26:47,463
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
It's impressive.
1908
01:26:48,638 --> 01:26:51,858
Me, I'm just... I'm just good
at seeming impressive.
1909
01:26:52,555 --> 01:26:53,686
BRIAN: Mm!
[GRUNTS]
1910
01:26:53,773 --> 01:26:56,602
When I met Alan,
we fell in love so quickly,
1911
01:26:56,776 --> 01:26:59,214
and we tried for babies
for a long time.
1912
01:27:00,389 --> 01:27:01,564
And IVF.
1913
01:27:01,651 --> 01:27:03,609
And then we were told,
"No, not possible."
1914
01:27:03,740 --> 01:27:05,263
And I was 39 and terrified.
1915
01:27:05,568 --> 01:27:08,223
So, we stopped trying,
and moved on with our lives.
1916
01:27:08,484 --> 01:27:10,529
SARAH: Hmm.
And then, out of the blue...
1917
01:27:11,922 --> 01:27:14,620
Grace,
our little miracle arrived.
1918
01:27:16,840 --> 01:27:18,189
ALAN: Grace has got
to be better than me.
1919
01:27:19,799 --> 01:27:21,018
She's gonna carve her own path.
1920
01:27:21,105 --> 01:27:23,673
She's not gonna depend
on the good fortune
1921
01:27:23,803 --> 01:27:25,979
of others to find her way, no.
1922
01:27:27,198 --> 01:27:29,244
No. [EXHALES DEEPLY]
1923
01:27:29,331 --> 01:27:32,247
Well, it looks like
we just want the same thing. Yeah.
1924
01:27:32,638 --> 01:27:34,161
What's best for our children.
1925
01:27:35,902 --> 01:27:37,643
It's not an easy thing
to figure out though, is it?
1926
01:27:37,730 --> 01:27:40,864
[LAUGHS] No. Nope, not at all.
Yeah.
1927
01:27:41,212 --> 01:27:42,735
LAUREN:
This whole preschool thing,
1928
01:27:43,214 --> 01:27:44,955
it's given me
quite a bit of anxiety.
1929
01:27:45,042 --> 01:27:45,956
Yeah.
1930
01:27:46,565 --> 01:27:48,611
It's the beginning of them
getting older, isn't it?
1931
01:27:48,741 --> 01:27:50,613
[BREATHES DEEPLY] Yeah.
1932
01:27:51,396 --> 01:27:52,832
I never thought
I'd be the type of mother
1933
01:27:52,919 --> 01:27:54,181
to get weepy
about this kind of thing.
1934
01:27:54,269 --> 01:27:56,271
But I... I like my Gracie
being at home with me
1935
01:27:56,358 --> 01:27:58,185
all the time.
Uh, she's my best friend.
1936
01:27:58,273 --> 01:27:59,186
Isn't that pathetic?
1937
01:27:59,578 --> 01:28:02,277
It's not pathetic at all.
They're our babies.
1938
01:28:03,147 --> 01:28:05,802
But let's just remember,
it's just preschool.
1939
01:28:05,889 --> 01:28:08,239
Hmm.
They're still gonna need us for everything else. [CHUCKLES]
1940
01:28:08,892 --> 01:28:11,895
And hey, why don't you take
those five extra hours a day,
1941
01:28:11,982 --> 01:28:14,027
and do something that you love?
[SCOFFS]
1942
01:28:14,332 --> 01:28:17,509
I don't know
what that is anymore. [CHUCKLES] Yeah, me neither. [CHUCKLES]
1943
01:28:18,249 --> 01:28:20,730
But... we could
figure it out together.
1944
01:28:22,819 --> 01:28:25,300
You know, Dylan has
just as good a shot as Grace
1945
01:28:25,387 --> 01:28:27,345
at getting into that school.
Money is not everything.
1946
01:28:27,432 --> 01:28:29,304
Oh, I know. I know that.
1947
01:28:30,653 --> 01:28:31,784
The more I've gotten
to know you,
1948
01:28:31,915 --> 01:28:36,223
the more I know that to be true.
[LAUGHS, GROANS]
1949
01:28:36,354 --> 01:28:39,270
Yeah, well, I'm sure
Grace enjoys her big house.
1950
01:28:39,401 --> 01:28:41,707
Ah, I just never felt
comfortable there, you know?
1951
01:28:41,794 --> 01:28:43,013
It just doesn't feel like home.
1952
01:28:43,100 --> 01:28:45,189
It's...Smelly.
1953
01:28:45,363 --> 01:28:48,018
It's what?
What were you gonna say about the house?
1954
01:28:48,584 --> 01:28:49,541
What were you gonna
say about...?
1955
01:28:49,759 --> 01:28:51,369
I said "smelly."
But what were you gonna say?
1956
01:28:51,500 --> 01:28:54,198
What do you mean, "smelly"?
'Cause your house is a bit smelly.
1957
01:28:55,982 --> 01:28:58,028
Smelly drapes.
Hmm?
1958
01:28:58,507 --> 01:29:00,247
I said you've got smelly drapes.
1959
01:29:00,335 --> 01:29:01,988
You smelled my drapes?
BRIAN: Yeah.
1960
01:29:02,162 --> 01:29:04,991
Why... why... why would you...
why would you do that?
1961
01:29:05,775 --> 01:29:06,993
I just smell things.
1962
01:29:07,777 --> 01:29:11,302
[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
[AMBULANCE SIRENS WAILING]
1963
01:29:13,173 --> 01:29:18,309
[PANTS]
Please. No... no, honestly.
1964
01:29:19,049 --> 01:29:21,791
[PANTS]
1965
01:29:29,407 --> 01:29:30,365
[CAR HORN HONKING]
1966
01:29:36,893 --> 01:29:37,894
[CAR DOOR OPENING]
1967
01:29:41,811 --> 01:29:45,031
Oh, Alan, you look terrible.
1968
01:29:45,162 --> 01:29:48,339
And... and... and... you look
very fancy, Roze.
1969
01:29:48,470 --> 01:29:49,514
ROZE: Um, uh...
1970
01:29:52,212 --> 01:29:53,083
[SCOFFS]
1971
01:29:56,826 --> 01:29:57,740
What?
1972
01:29:58,131 --> 01:30:00,917
[GENTLE MUSIC CONTINUES]
1973
01:30:02,179 --> 01:30:03,049
[ALAN SNIFFLES]
1974
01:30:11,275 --> 01:30:14,017
ALAN: Come on, love.
There we go.
1975
01:30:14,887 --> 01:30:15,758
Good girl.
1976
01:30:17,673 --> 01:30:18,891
Hiya.
LAUREN: Hi!
1977
01:30:19,022 --> 01:30:20,327
Moment of truth.
1978
01:30:20,502 --> 01:30:24,114
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
No hard feelings either way.
1979
01:30:25,681 --> 01:30:29,032
Gracie, Dylan, this way.
We're going to that school.
1980
01:30:29,336 --> 01:30:30,773
SARAH: Come on.
ALAN: Come on.
1981
01:30:30,860 --> 01:30:32,862
Here we go.
What do you think of that place, Dylan?
1982
01:30:32,949 --> 01:30:34,341
[MUMBLES] It's all right.
1983
01:30:55,275 --> 01:30:58,104
[MUSIC FADES]
[DOOR OPENING]
1984
01:31:01,804 --> 01:31:02,631
[EXHALES]
1985
01:31:06,722 --> 01:31:07,984
Right, uh...
1986
01:31:10,595 --> 01:31:11,683
Mrs. Lawrence, what is it?
1987
01:31:12,902 --> 01:31:14,469
Is something wrong? You okay?
1988
01:31:14,556 --> 01:31:16,775
Oh, I... I'm very sorry
for keeping you waiting.
1989
01:31:16,862 --> 01:31:18,473
[CHUCKLES] And, um...
1990
01:31:20,518 --> 01:31:23,782
Well, I... I... I'm even sorrier
for what I'm about to tell you.
1991
01:31:26,306 --> 01:31:28,091
There's no longer an open slot.
1992
01:31:28,483 --> 01:31:29,527
It's been filled.
1993
01:31:29,832 --> 01:31:32,356
I... I'm so sorry
for disappointing all of you.
1994
01:31:32,443 --> 01:31:34,750
Uh, it's... it's nothing
to do with your children.
1995
01:31:35,272 --> 01:31:37,013
No, un... unfortunately...
1996
01:31:38,405 --> 01:31:39,885
nepotism has reared
its ugly head,
1997
01:31:39,972 --> 01:31:41,234
and the owner
is sending her niece
1998
01:31:41,539 --> 01:31:43,889
who's just moved down here
with her family from Cambridge.
1999
01:31:43,976 --> 01:31:45,412
I'm so sorry.
[BRIAN EXHALES]
2000
01:31:46,849 --> 01:31:51,201
[CHUCKLES]
[CHUCKLES]
2001
01:31:51,288 --> 01:31:57,076
[GROUP LAUGHS]
2002
01:31:59,818 --> 01:32:04,170
[GROANS, COUGHS]
[GROANS]
2003
01:32:04,301 --> 01:32:06,651
Wow.
Mm! [CHUCKLES] Um...
2004
01:32:06,738 --> 01:32:09,393
Who's the owner?
My mother-in-law.
2005
01:32:12,831 --> 01:32:13,963
Yeah.Right, okay.
2006
01:32:14,050 --> 01:32:16,095
Shall we? Thanks then.
[LAUREN LAUGHS]
2007
01:32:16,966 --> 01:32:18,794
ALAN: It's been fun, Sylvia.
Thank you. [DOOR OPENING]
2008
01:32:19,490 --> 01:32:23,189
[EXHALES] Okay, Grace,
time to go. ALAN: All right, Gracie.
2009
01:32:25,365 --> 01:32:28,760
Uh, excuse me. Um, Excuse me.
Where are our children?
2010
01:32:29,587 --> 01:32:31,937
I don't understand.
They were just here.
2011
01:32:32,024 --> 01:32:34,026
Nope, not anymore.
I had to take a call.
2012
01:32:34,113 --> 01:32:37,290
Uh, so sorry.
Uh, they can't be far.
2013
01:32:37,377 --> 01:32:38,291
Uh, excuse me, mate.
2014
01:32:38,509 --> 01:32:39,902
Did you see
a girl and a boy leave here?
2015
01:32:40,032 --> 01:32:42,165
Yeah, they left
a few minutes ago.
2016
01:32:42,295 --> 01:32:44,297
You didn't find that strange?
JANITOR: Look around.
2017
01:32:44,820 --> 01:32:46,822
Everything about this place
is strange.
2018
01:32:46,952 --> 01:32:48,040
Okay, uh, where did they go?
2019
01:32:48,127 --> 01:32:49,825
Uh, I think they found
their way to Julie.
2020
01:32:49,955 --> 01:32:51,522
Well, who's Julie?
Hopscotch.
2021
01:32:51,653 --> 01:32:53,045
Oh.
Oh, that's the, uh...
2022
01:32:53,176 --> 01:32:56,745
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
[KIDS CHATTERING]
2023
01:33:07,494 --> 01:33:10,019
[ALAN GROANS, GRUNTS]
BRIAN: Oh! Watch your head, mate.
2024
01:33:11,107 --> 01:33:13,413
JULIE: There you go. Good work.
2025
01:33:13,675 --> 01:33:16,852
Excuse me.
Oh, great. There you are.
2026
01:33:17,069 --> 01:33:19,376
Uh, we have a couple
of very cute kids
2027
01:33:19,463 --> 01:33:21,204
who I think might belong
to you guys? [CHUCKLES]
2028
01:33:21,334 --> 01:33:22,509
Yes!
Yes!
2029
01:33:22,597 --> 01:33:24,207
They're just through there.
Oh, thank God.
2030
01:33:24,294 --> 01:33:25,295
Thank you.
Thanks.
2031
01:33:25,425 --> 01:33:26,688
They've only been here
for a moment,
2032
01:33:26,775 --> 01:33:28,690
but they have jumped right in.
2033
01:33:28,777 --> 01:33:30,343
[CHUCKLES]
[CHUCKLES] Look at that.
2034
01:33:30,430 --> 01:33:33,346
I'm Julie. Oh, sorry. I'm Julie.
2035
01:33:33,433 --> 01:33:35,131
I was gonna go next door
to find you,
2036
01:33:35,218 --> 01:33:36,785
but you saved me the track.
Well, we thank you
2037
01:33:36,872 --> 01:33:38,308
for... for looking after
the kids, Julie. Yeah.
2038
01:33:38,395 --> 01:33:40,527
Oh, no worries.
How did you know we were next door?
2039
01:33:40,615 --> 01:33:42,660
Oh, you would be surprised
how often this happens
2040
01:33:42,747 --> 01:33:44,401
during Puggsley's
registration season. [CHUCKLES]
2041
01:33:44,749 --> 01:33:45,663
Really?
Really?
2042
01:33:45,794 --> 01:33:47,491
Yeah. I mean,
don't get me wrong,
2043
01:33:47,578 --> 01:33:50,146
I think they're running
a very impressive institution
2044
01:33:50,233 --> 01:33:51,147
over there.
2045
01:33:51,451 --> 01:33:53,932
But, you know,
not right for every child.
2046
01:33:54,019 --> 01:33:54,977
Hmm.
Hmm.
2047
01:33:55,064 --> 01:33:55,934
If you'll excuse me,
2048
01:33:56,152 --> 01:33:57,327
I'd better go prep
a few activities.
2049
01:33:57,414 --> 01:33:59,155
But feel free to walk around.
2050
01:33:59,285 --> 01:34:00,504
Thank you.
Thank you.
2051
01:34:01,548 --> 01:34:04,203
DYLAN: "Get up.
It's time to do your puzzle."
2052
01:34:04,290 --> 01:34:07,076
"Come on,
math equations are fun."
2053
01:34:07,163 --> 01:34:09,687
"We want you
to be strong and smart
2054
01:34:09,774 --> 01:34:11,123
so you could be the best!"
2055
01:34:11,689 --> 01:34:13,735
"What about playing
hide and seek?"
2056
01:34:13,865 --> 01:34:16,955
"No hide and seek.
Hide and seek is for dumb kids."
2057
01:34:18,043 --> 01:34:20,045
GRACE: "But I want
to ride my bike."
2058
01:34:20,176 --> 01:34:22,700
DYLAN: "After you learn
how to be an astronaut."
2059
01:34:22,787 --> 01:34:24,528
"Don't you want to be the best?"
2060
01:34:24,615 --> 01:34:27,749
"You've got to put in the work
if you're going to be the best."
2061
01:34:27,879 --> 01:34:29,707
GRACE: "Okay, Dad,
you're right."
2062
01:34:29,794 --> 01:34:32,754
"I want to be the best."
DYLAN: "That's my girl!"
2063
01:34:32,841 --> 01:34:34,364
Oh, you found us!
2064
01:34:34,538 --> 01:34:36,148
Hey, that was great!
That was great, honey.
2065
01:34:36,235 --> 01:34:39,674
What a performance! [CHUCKLES]
Hello, kid. That was brilliant.
2066
01:34:39,848 --> 01:34:41,501
[TENDER MUSIC PLAYING]
BRIAN: Come on, lad.
2067
01:34:41,676 --> 01:34:44,069
It was, uh-- It was--
It was wonderful, darling.
2068
01:34:49,161 --> 01:34:50,685
JULIE: So, what'd you think
of the place?
2069
01:34:50,772 --> 01:34:52,643
I mean, it...
it does look like a lot of fun.
2070
01:34:52,774 --> 01:34:54,863
JULIE: Yeah. We want them
to love to learn.
2071
01:34:54,950 --> 01:34:58,040
Just like us,
they're pushed too hard,
2072
01:34:58,127 --> 01:35:01,260
we get burnt out and bitter
and we quit. [CHUCKLES]
2073
01:35:01,347 --> 01:35:02,958
We don't want that.
Agreed.
2074
01:35:03,088 --> 01:35:05,221
To burn out by the age of six
would be very tragic.
2075
01:35:05,308 --> 01:35:06,265
Hmm.
Yeah.
2076
01:35:06,875 --> 01:35:08,485
BRIAN: What do we need to do
to get our kids into the school?
2077
01:35:08,572 --> 01:35:09,573
JULIE: Oh, you just sign up.
2078
01:35:09,660 --> 01:35:11,357
You just sign up? That's it?
2079
01:35:11,444 --> 01:35:13,533
Yeah. And then I put together
a monthly schedule
2080
01:35:13,620 --> 01:35:14,970
so you know
what your kids are up to.
2081
01:35:15,144 --> 01:35:17,320
Uh... can we leave them here?
2082
01:35:17,407 --> 01:35:19,670
Well, we can
sign you all up, and then...
2083
01:35:20,062 --> 01:35:21,324
come and pick them up at 04:00?
2084
01:35:21,411 --> 01:35:23,065
Okay. Thank you, Julie.
Okay.
2085
01:35:23,152 --> 01:35:25,545
[CHUCKLES] Wow.
[SCOFFS]
2086
01:35:27,460 --> 01:35:28,679
LAUREN: I want to play here.
2087
01:35:28,766 --> 01:35:32,770
[CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
2088
01:36:31,220 --> 01:36:35,224
By the power vested in me
by... the Internet...
2089
01:36:35,311 --> 01:36:36,921
[BOTH LAUGH]
[GUESTS LAUGHING]
2090
01:36:37,052 --> 01:36:39,706
...I now pronounce you
husband and wife!
2091
01:36:39,794 --> 01:36:41,273
Kiss me, you hairy beast!
2092
01:36:41,360 --> 01:36:43,275
[GUESTS CHEERING, APPLAUDING]
2093
01:36:43,362 --> 01:36:45,930
[BOTH LAUGH]
["CAN WE FORGET" BY ALEXSUCKS PLAYING]
2094
01:36:46,017 --> 01:36:47,758
I can't believe we're family!
2095
01:36:48,150 --> 01:36:51,066
[IN DISTORTED VOICE]
We're family!
2096
01:36:51,153 --> 01:36:54,939
Well, no, love, definitely
not family at all, is he?
2097
01:36:55,026 --> 01:36:56,288
No matter what.
2098
01:36:56,680 --> 01:37:00,118
♪ Did you forget? ♪
2099
01:37:00,205 --> 01:37:02,338
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
2100
01:37:02,425 --> 01:37:06,864
♪ Wasting my time again ♪
2101
01:37:07,212 --> 01:37:11,738
♪ Say, we could fall in love ♪
2102
01:37:11,826 --> 01:37:13,915
♪ Run away and start anew ♪
2103
01:37:14,089 --> 01:37:19,529
♪ I wish I knew what's best♪
2104
01:37:19,616 --> 01:37:24,882
♪ Why are we so dumb? ♪
2105
01:37:24,969 --> 01:37:30,845
♪ Now I hate you, oh
And you hate me ♪
2106
01:37:32,455 --> 01:37:36,894
♪ Oh, ah, ah
2107
01:37:37,242 --> 01:37:38,722
♪ Can we just forget? ♪
2108
01:37:38,809 --> 01:37:43,335
♪ Oh, ah, ah ♪
2109
01:37:43,422 --> 01:37:44,946
♪ I need you again ♪
2110
01:37:45,033 --> 01:37:49,298
♪ Oh, ah, ah ♪
2111
01:37:49,385 --> 01:37:51,256
♪ Can we just forget♪
2112
01:37:51,343 --> 01:37:56,131
♪ Oh, ah, ah ♪
2113
01:37:56,348 --> 01:37:57,915
♪ I need you again ♪
2114
01:37:59,308 --> 01:38:04,226
♪ Doo-doo-doo, do-doo-doo
2115
01:38:05,140 --> 01:38:08,143
♪ Doo-doo-doo
2116
01:38:09,709 --> 01:38:13,365
♪ Cause I've seen you out
With someone I used to know♪
2117
01:38:13,452 --> 01:38:16,151
♪ Wasted drunk leaving
Now I'm going home ♪
2118
01:38:16,238 --> 01:38:18,240
♪ Now my brain
Is playing with me ♪
2119
01:38:18,327 --> 01:38:22,070
[CROWD CHEERING, APPLAUDING]
♪ I need to go ♪
2120
01:38:22,157 --> 01:38:25,160
♪ Cause it's hard to leave you
When I see you again ♪
2121
01:38:25,290 --> 01:38:27,336
[MUSIC STOPS]
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
2122
01:38:28,598 --> 01:38:30,730
Oh, hello. Guess what?
2123
01:38:31,166 --> 01:38:33,820
This morning,
I've been a very big boy,
2124
01:38:34,299 --> 01:38:35,822
or a very big monkey,
2125
01:38:35,997 --> 01:38:38,695
and I put on my nappy
all by myself!
2126
01:38:39,130 --> 01:38:41,741
Do you want to do that too?
I bet you do.
2127
01:38:41,828 --> 01:38:43,047
'Cause sometimes...
2128
01:38:43,395 --> 01:38:46,877
your grown-ups might be
a bit too busy to help you.
2129
01:38:46,964 --> 01:38:51,447
So, you can impress them
by putting it through one leg,
2130
01:38:52,013 --> 01:38:56,800
and then the other,
and then pulling it up really...
2131
01:38:57,932 --> 01:39:01,587
slowly, so it's nice and tight.
2132
01:39:01,674 --> 01:39:05,417
Flap it over like that.
Flap it over like that.
2133
01:39:05,504 --> 01:39:08,725
And then breathe in.
[INHALES SHARPLY]
2134
01:39:08,899 --> 01:39:11,075
[WHEEZING]
And then make sure that
2135
01:39:11,162 --> 01:39:13,773
nothing can escape
from the other side.
2136
01:39:13,904 --> 01:39:15,123
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Otherwise, you'll have
2137
01:39:15,210 --> 01:39:17,212
a very wet pair of legs.
2138
01:39:17,299 --> 01:39:18,648
But I haven't!
2139
01:39:18,735 --> 01:39:20,824
I've got two lovely
great big legs
2140
01:39:20,911 --> 01:39:23,827
that are nice and dry,
and so have you!
2141
01:39:23,914 --> 01:39:26,699
So, look, we're dressed.
Isn't that brilliant?
2142
01:39:28,005 --> 01:39:29,311
["EVERYBODY TOOTS" PLAYING]
♪ Everybody toots
2143
01:39:29,398 --> 01:39:30,660
♪ Toot, toot! ♪
2144
01:39:30,747 --> 01:39:34,011
♪ Everybody toots
♪ Toot, toot! ♪
2145
01:39:34,359 --> 01:39:38,581
♪ Even mom and dad
And the animals at the zoo ♪
2146
01:39:39,930 --> 01:39:41,671
♪ Everybody toots
2147
01:39:44,239 --> 01:39:47,372
♪ Everybody burps
♪ Burp, burp!
2148
01:39:47,459 --> 01:39:50,419
♪ Everybody burps
♪ Burp, burp! ♪
2149
01:39:50,506 --> 01:39:55,293
♪ We all need to feel relieved
When our tummy hurts ♪
2150
01:39:56,468 --> 01:39:58,296
♪ Everybody burps
2151
01:40:00,820 --> 01:40:03,954
♪ Wash your hands
♪ Scrub, scrub!
2152
01:40:04,041 --> 01:40:07,131
♪ Wash your hands
♪ Scrub, scrub! ♪
2153
01:40:07,436 --> 01:40:08,828
♪ Wipe front to back ♪
2154
01:40:08,915 --> 01:40:11,396
♪ Now back to front
Front to back ♪
2155
01:40:12,919 --> 01:40:14,660
♪ Wash your hands
2156
01:40:17,228 --> 01:40:20,101
♪ Blow your nose
♪ Blow, blow!
2157
01:40:20,188 --> 01:40:23,191
♪ It's like a garden hose
♪ Garden hose! ♪
2158
01:40:23,278 --> 01:40:26,498
♪ Ask for a tissue
To fix the issue ♪
2159
01:40:26,585 --> 01:40:28,065
♪ Don't be gross ♪
2160
01:40:29,371 --> 01:40:31,242
♪ Blow your nose
2161
01:40:32,417 --> 01:40:35,377
♪ Everybody toots
♪ Toot, toot!
2162
01:40:35,464 --> 01:40:38,771
♪ Everybody toots
♪ Toot, toot! ♪
2163
01:40:38,858 --> 01:40:43,124
♪ Even mom and dad
And the animals at the zoo ♪
2164
01:40:44,212 --> 01:40:48,781
♪ Everybody toots
[MUSIC CONCLUDES]
2165
01:40:50,087 --> 01:40:54,874
[CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
[CHOIR VOCALIZING]
2166
01:43:48,134 --> 01:43:51,094
[MUSIC CONCLUDES]