[choir in German] ♪ You're green Not only in the summertime… ♪
[Trevor] The Schwarzenbochs are coming?
[Petra] Yes.
So, what are we going to do?
Well, I've tracked down Janet, the housekeeper.
She's agreed to take care of the preparations.
She lives nearby, so she won't be long.
You are to stay in the apartment until she arrives,
at which point you'll be dismissed and can go home.
Oh.
But on full pay.
Oh!
-[sighs] Right. I'm sorry. -[call beeping]
I've got to get this. Uh, the housekeeper will be in contact.
-[theme music playing] -[baby babbling]
[baby squeals]
[Trevor humming indistinctly]
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪
♪ Jingle all the way ♪
♪ Oh, what fun it is… ♪
[funk music playing as ringtone]
-Hello? -[woman] Hello, dear.
I'm Janet,
the Schwarzenbochs' housekeeper.
-Oh. -I'm afraid we have got a problem.
Right. Yes, I heard. But you're not far away, are you?
Oh, well, that's the problem.
I've been a bit of a naughty girl, you see.
Petra, she thinks I'm in Chiswick. I'm actually in Perthshire with my mother.
[ominous music playing]
You're in Scotland?
Listen, it'll be no problem at all.
I'll head to the station shortly, and I will be with you later on tonight.
Oh, okay.
Oh, nothing to worry about.
I've come up with a plan. [chuckles]
Now, there's a credit card in the drawer in the kitchen office.
If I send a wee list to your printer, could you make a start on the shopping?
-[tense music playing] -[printer whirring]
[music fades]
Gosh. That's quite a list.
-[printer whirring] -[tense music resumes]
[music crescendos, then fades]
Finally.
[printer whirring]
[hopeful music playing]
All right, little man. Let's see if there's any room at the inn.
[music fades]
[Georgia screaming]
-Chocolate with figs. Chocolate with figs. -["We Wish You a Merry Christmas" playing]
A-ha!
-Chocolate with figs. -[baby babbles]
There we go.
And…
And Dom Pérignon Champagne.
Ah!
Champagne. Here we are.
Yes. Dom Pérignon.
Oof.
Goodness.
[laughs]
Ah.
Huh.
"Twenty-four"?
Okay.
-There we go. -[baby babbling]
Another one down.
[funk music playing as ringtone]
Mrs. Hakopian?
[Janet] I was about to head for the station,
but I remembered one other thing.
Herr and Frau Schwarzenboch
cannot do without their Trüffelstreichwurst.
Their what?
Spreadable sausage, dear, with the calf's liver and white truffle.
[dramatic fanfare plays]
Thank you.
Goodness. Ooh.
Now, we're going to need another trolley.
This is a CAT 1 emergency. Immediate priority.
We have a missing infant. Repeat, missing infant.
[hopeful music playing]
[trolley wheels squeaking]
[sirens wailing]
[officer over radio] All units, we have a missing baby. Over.
[music crescendos, then fades]
[sighs] Ah.
[clicks]
[line dialing]
And the baby was definitely in the car seat when you left?
Yes! Yes, I strapped him in myself.
[on recording] You've reached Georgia Hakopian.
Please leave a message after the tone.
[voicemail tone chimes]
[sighs]
[gentle pensive music playing]
[music fades]
Oh, hello.
Um…
I just wanted to apologize again for the whole mix-up with the baby.
And, uh…
And to give you these.
[tender music playing]
They're really nice, actually.
It's very kind of you.
-Okay. -Thank you, Trevor.
-[lively music playing] -[dogs whining and barking]
[door lock buzzes]
[music fades]
[tender music playing]
Yeah.
Well, I hope you have a good Christmas.
-Yeah. I'll, uh… -[music fades]
-I'll just slide this. -[Soren] Thank you.
[baby babbling]
-[elevator chimes] -[lively music playing]
-[woman] Come on, Archie. -[dog barks]
Hayley!
[Hayley] Hello, Annabel. Hello, Archie.
Right.
Here we go.
Now, then.
It is not your shoe, I've told you.
-[growling] -Give.
-There we go. Thank you. -[Archie whines]
[Hayley] No problem.
You have a lovely-wovely time! Bye! Bye!
[quirky pensive music playing]
[Hayley] There you are. Here, Archie.
[dogs whining and barking]
-Huh. -[Hayley] Let's go.
[elevator chimes]
[Hayley] Stay here.
-[barking] -Archie! Come back!
No! No! Get off!
Sorry! I'll bring him straight back down!
[sighs]
-[growling] -Get off! No!
-Archie, where are you going? -[baby crying]
[Archie growling]
[crying continues]
[tense pensive music playing]
Right. Come on, let's go.
Let's go.
-[buzzes] -[music fades]
Hello, Annabel?
-[elevator chimes] -[lively quirky music playing]
[barking]
-[buzzes] -[music crescendos, then fades]
[Trevor] Hello!
Dog lady?
Oh, no.
[sighs]
[gentle music playing]
Ah.
[elevator chimes]
[Archie growling]
Oh! No. Archie! Archie!
Give me that shoe!
Archie!
[tense music playing]
[Archie panting]
No! Not the spreadable sausage!
-[groans] Oh! -[Archie growling]
[growling]
-[music fades] -[sighs]
Oh…
Look.
Look what I've got.
A shoe.
A lovely shoe for you.
Come and get it, Archie.
-[growling] -Oh!
[Archie whines]
No, not the fob!
Let go. Let go, Archie. Let go. Good dog.
Let go! Let go.
-Let… -[dramatic sting plays]
Oh, no. Oh, no.
[whines, then gulps]
No!
-Not the fob! Not the fob! -[quirky music playing]
Where is it?
Oh!
[music turns pensive]
[rings]
[elevator chimes]
[Archie whines]
[elevator chimes]
Phew!
[funk music playing as ringtone]
Mrs. Hakopian?
Listen, I'm afraid the weather's atrocious up here,
and the trains, love, they're all over the place.
So, I'll take the overnight sleeper. Would that be all right?
Oh.
Um…
And if you could make a wee start on decorating the flat, I'd appreciate it.
There's decorations in the storage unit downstairs.
Okay. Uh…
-And we're gonna need a Christmas tree. -Oh!
Where do you think I could get one of those?
Oh, don't worry about that. I will have Geoff drop one off. [chuckles]
He does all the flora and fauna for the penthouse.
Will you need help setting it up?
Oh, no, that won't be necessary.
I've set up a fair few Christmas trees in my time.
Of course you have. I do like you, Trevor. [chuckles]
You did you get the spreadable sausage?
Oh.
Uh…
[growling and whining]
Yes.
-Yes, I did. -Full marks, dear.
I knew we were in safe hands with you.
I'll see you first thing in the morning.
Okay. Bye.
Archie!
No! No, no, no, no, no!
[funk music playing as ringtone]
-Hello? -This is Annabel from the third floor.
I got your note and was just wondering if you could bring my dog downstairs?
Oh…
[tense music playing]
No.
I'm sorry,
because…
I'm out at the moment.
-[construction equipment thumping] -[siren wailing]
[thumping continues]
[Trevor imitating wind blowing]
Well… when will you be back?
-[lilting pensive music playing] -Well, that's a bit difficult to say.
Two hours?
Three, maybe?
Why don't I call you when I get back?
[dramatic fanfare plays]
-[pensive music playing] -[Archie barking]
[music turns hopeful]
[elevator chimes]
Ah. Hello, Trevor.
Lionel, how are you?
Today's the day, having to move out.
I can't believe it's actually happening.
[poignant music playing]
[Trevor groans]
[elevator chimes]
-[music crescendos, then fades] -[elevator chimes]
[chuckles]
[hopeful music playing]
[Archie barking]
Here we are.
[bell tolls]
[tense pensive music playing]
[scoffs]
[music fades]
Goodness.
[laughs]
What am I even going to put it in?
[quirky pensive music playing]
[enchanting music playing]
[music turns quirky]
[music turns dramatic]
[Archie whines]
[laughing and babbling]
-[music fades] -[sighs]
Good.
-Now all we need to do is decorate it. -[baby babbling]
While someone's having a sleep.
[cooing]
Come on.
[lilting upbeat music playing]
Sheep.
Straw.
Ah.
-Archie, come on. -[barking]
[grunts]
All right.
[sighs] Ooh…
-[music turns dramatic] -Huh.
Oh!
["Deck the Halls" playing]
[song crescendos, then fades]
[exhales]
Good.
[Archie whining]
You need a poo.
At last, you need a poo!
Come on, Archie.
Go on.
-That's right. -[Archie whines]
Good boy.
That's right. Go on. Go on.
Yes. Well done, Archie.
Now, then.
Uh…
-I need a sort of… -[Archie whines]
Oh!
Well, look at that.
Good.
Here we go.
[retches and coughs]
Oof.
Right.
Now…
[whines]
Ooh!
Yes! Yes!
Yes, it's there! Ah!
[hopeful music playing]
-[elevator chimes] -[music fades]
-[barks] -Oh!
Ah! There he is! There's my boy!
[laughs] Oh! Did he do his business?
-Did he? -He certainly did.
Oh, what a good boy! There's my good boy!
Oh, well, thank you for looking after him.
-That's all right. -Are you going up?
Yes. Yes.
Uh…
And, uh, you're the, uh, penthouse, aren't you? Hm.
[elevator chimes]
[awkward pensive music playing]
[whines]
[music fades]
[elevator chimes]
[pensive music plays]
[music turns hopeful]
[music fades]
[Trevor yawns]
Night-night, Baby Jesus.
[enchanting music playing]
[birds singing and chirping]
[funk music playing as ringtone]
-Hello? -[Janet] They've canceled everything.
There's no trains running at all.
-I'm not gonna make it. -What?
You'll have to prepare the Christmas feast for the Schwarzenbochs yourself.
-What do you mean? How many-- -[tense music playing]
Only 12. Possibly 14.
Sixteen at the outside.
Now, the Schwarzenbochs arrive at five o'clock, so that's your deadline.
Five o'clock?
-Oh, there's no need to panic, Trevor. -Janet, that's…
Oh, do not worry, hen.
I was up the entire night at the station,
and I've written down step-by-step instructions.
They should be coming through to you any minute.
-[whirring] -[tense music continues]
[music fades]
"Christmas feast."
["Nutcracker Suite (Russian Dance)" playing]
[babbles]
[chopping]
[babbling]
["Nutcracker Suite (Russian Dance)" continues]
Eh…
Heh.
[song crescendos, then fades]
[ticks]
[exhales] Oh.
[sighs]
[beeps, then chimes]
Ah.
[muttering] Good evening. If you would like to come through?
-If you would like to come? -[chimes]
Ah.
[sighs]
[somber music playing]
[beeps]
[music turns pensive]
[sighs]
[tense music playing]
[music fades]
[thuds]
[sighs]
[keypad clacking]
[line dialing]
[on recording] Hello, it's Janet. Please leave a message after the beep.
[beeps]
[groans] Hm…
[keypad clacking]
[line dialing]
-[Petra] Hello? -Oh, hello, Petra. It's me, Trevor.
Sorry, Trevor who?
Trevor Bingley.
From the flat in London.
I'm still here because Janet,
who's also here,
uh, asked me to help out with a few bits and pieces.
And she asked me to
let you know that the Christmas feast is ready,
but that there's still no sign of the Schwarzenbochs.
I'm so sorry.
I, um…
I meant to call her, but it completely slipped my mind. Um…
Could you tell her the Schwarzenbochs aren't coming?
Uh, they diverted to New York at the last minute.
Not coming?
[choir in German] ♪ O Christmas tree ♪
♪ O Christmas tree ♪
♪ How loyal are your branches! ♪
Oh, please tell her how sorry I am. I hope she didn't go to too much trouble.
Well…
Uh, she, um…
Now, look, I've got to go.
I've got the New York housekeeper on the other line.
But, um, will you wish Janet a very merry Christmas from me?
And, um, please say thank you again. She's been so wonderful.
Happy Holidays.
[call disconnects]
[poignant pensive music playing]
[intercom ringing]
Hello?
Sorry to bother you, sir. Metropolitan Police.
Uh, we're making inquiries about a missing baby
we understand was previously in your charge.
-[hopeful music playing] -Oh! Yes! Yes!
Yes, it's right here.
You mean, you've got the baby?
Yes. I'll bring it right down.
-[beeps] -Come in.
Come on, baby. Let's go.
[elevator chimes]
-Ah. -Ah.
Well, well, well. What do we have here, then?
[pensive music playing]
-Ah. -Oh!
This is him, is it?
You've been very busy, haven't you?
Led everyone on a right little dance. [chuckles]
Here we go.
[pensive music playing]
Uh…
Doesn't, uh, appear to be the same baby, sir.
Oh, no, it isn't.
That's the wrong baby.
This is the right baby.
I had the wrong baby when I gave it to Mrs. Hakopian, you see.
And then while I was going back to get the right baby,
that was when she drove off.
Ha!
[quirky pensive music playing]
Why not let the caseworker sort this out? If that's okay with you, sir?
Right. Yes.
[baby babbling]
Uh, control? This is DS-one-nine. Can you get the FLO on site ASAP?
-Ah… -[whines]
I think I'm going to have to feed him. Do you want to come upstairs?
I think I probably should, sir, yeah.
[hopeful music playing]
-[music stops] -[chimes]
[hopeful music resumes]
[elevator chimes]
Here we are.
Please, come in.
["O Christmas Tree" plays]
Oh, wow!
You've got yourself quite a place here, sir.
Oh, no, it isn't mine. I'm just the house sitter.
-[music fades] -Ah.
Can I offer you something to drink while you're waiting?
-[babbles] -Oh, uh…
I'm afraid we've only got vintage champagne.
-[officer] Hello, hello, hello. -[baby laughing]
-[baby sneezes] -Oh, bless you.
-[intercom rings] -["Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" playing]
Oh, hello.
-Hello, Trevor. Do you have a minute? -Uh, yes. I'll buzz you up.
Sorry to bother you, Trevor.
We just wanted to say thank you for the presents.
-And to give you this. -Yeah.
-Oh, goodness. -It's a chewable Peppa Pig set.
River loves them. We thought your baby would too.
Ah, that's really, really kind. Thank you.
♪ What you are… ♪
Would you like to come in for a mince pie?
Or some stollen cake?
♪ Last Christmas I gave you my heart… ♪
[intercom ringing]
["Last Christmas" by Wham! playing]
♪ This year, to save me from tears I'll give it to someone special… ♪
-[intercom beeps] -Hello, Lionel.
Herr Scrooge says I've got to leave these with you, apparently.
[elevator chimes]
-[Archie barking] -Oh! Archie! Come back!
[sighs] Sorry, Trevor. We were in the lift when you buzzed Lionel up.
-[Archie barking] -Archie!
Still can't believe this is really it.
The final goodbye.
Oh.
Can I offer you a drink, Lionel?
-[Archie barking] -Oh…
[funk music playing as ringtone]
Jess!
How are you?
How's Barbados?
We're not in Barbados, Trevor.
We're in London.
Oh.
We spent two days at Heathrow waiting for our flight to go,
and then last night at an airport hotel.
And then, after another seven-hour wait,
they canceled the flight.
-Jess, I'm so sorry. -[Archie whining]
So we're in a taxi on our way back into town.
Is Maddy okay?
Well,
that's why I'm calling.
I realize it might be asking an awful lot,
and I know we've already messed you about this Christmas, but…
do you think there's any way we could come to you, after all?
Well, yes, I think there probably is.
-But I'm in a different place. -What do you mean? Where are you?
[intercom ringing]
[Trevor] Oh!
Jess, I've got to go, but I'll text you the address.
Georgia, come on up.
♪ Ding-dong, merrily on high ♪
♪ In heav'n the bells are ringing ♪
♪ Ding-dong, verily the sky ♪
♪ Is riv'n with angel singing… ♪
-Happy Christmas, Archie. -[Archie barks]
♪ Hosanna in excelsis ♪
♪ Glo ♪
♪ Ria ♪
♪ Hosanna in excelsis ♪
[upbeat music playing]
Are you sure this is the right address?
[elevator chimes]
Dad!
[Trevor] Hello, sweet pea.
Hello, Jess.
Hello.
Dad, this place is amazing.
What is this?
And who are all these people?
Well, it's a bit of a long story.
-[baby babbling] -Oh!
-Whose baby is this? -Oh, the baby's mine.
[Jess] What?
[Maddy] What do you mean, Dad?
Well, not mine-mine.
It's part of the long story.
Well, it's a story that keeps getting longer, to be honest.
Because despite all our best efforts at social services,
we have absolutely no idea where this baby has come from.
-[cracks] -[guests exclaiming]
-["Driving Home for Christmas" playing] -[chattering]
-[cracks] -[exclaiming]
You've got two?!
[chattering]
Mom, can I give you that? I won't eat it.
♪ And it's been so long… ♪
Happy Christmas, Jess.
Cheers!
So how do you know these people?
♪ To pass the time away… ♪
Uh, bread sauce?
Oh, uh, they don't do dairy.
[laughs]
Oh, that must be really hard.
[silverware clinking on glass]
Everyone! Everyone!
I think it's high time someone proposed a Christmas toast.
-[Lionel] Ah! -To Trevor.
Oh!
[all] To Trevor.
To Dad.
Oh, and… and to the baby that brought us all together.
[all] To the baby!
[timer ticking]
[ringing]
Uh, where is the baby?
He was just here.
[Trevor] Oh, no.
[Jess] Under the table?
[tense music playing]
[officer] Can't be far.
-Check the curtains. -[Lionel] Yes.
[Jess] Yes, you do that side and I'll…
Jesus?
Baby Jesus?
Where are you?
Baby?
[Jess] He's here!
-[tender music playing] -He's here!
[music turns enchanting]
[Jess] Mm…
[babbling]
[Trevor] Oh.
[sighs]
[enchanting music continues]
[intercom ringing]
[music fades]
[intercom ringing]
[beeps]
Hello?
Happy Christmas, Janet.
We decided we could not miss your Christmas feast after all. [laughs]
[dramatic music crescendos]
[music fades]
[gentle choral music playing]