Last One Laughing - Italy
You were good, you know?
-You have to go away. -How long did it take you to learn?
-Go away! Far from me! -Where did you learn? Who taught you?
-Go for it! -All four of them!
Someone is about to be sent out.
Gosh!
-I'll go. -Will you go? Okay, go.
No, but seriously. Go. Go!
It's not that…
-I don't feel like it. -I'll go.
-This way, though. -Ah, this way.
That's the way it is.
Did you miss me?
I'm just going to say one thing.
-Here I come! -No!
So, this game is sort of like when you go to a disco.
You go in with someone, but you leave alone.
No!
Let's watch the replay.
-Go away! Far from me! -Where did you learn? Who taught you?
-You were so good. -Go away!
-No! -No!
You were complaining because I was doing this to you,
-and now you did the same to poor Vale. -I was processing the trauma.
A red card for Valeria Graci.
-No, Vale! -My fault. My fault.
Tommy Cassi.
Bye, Vale.
That's the way it is. The old and the new.
Tackled by Tommaso, Valeria can't help but laugh.
She is out of LOL.
Valeria!
-You're handling it well. -Yes, very well.
Maestro, that's the way it went. Maestro.
I can't believe you laughed at him.
He was cute, nice, and handsome, and… bam!
Sit here. Darn it.
-Here we go again. -Here we go.
-LOL is on again. -So?
Last one laughing.
It's time to celebrate the one who left us.
-She's no longer with us in the game. -She was good, but…
Let's put Valeria's water bottle…
Since you left, my heart is heavy.
I'd laugh just to make him stop.
Well…
Yo, yo, yo.
-Yo, yo, yo! -Okay. Yes, here we go.
I was wondering when he'd show up.
Hi, guys, I'm…
-I'm from… a neighborhood… -That jacket is crazy.
I know, it's slightly baggy.
-What the fuck are you looking at? -I'm from an area
in the province of Genoa.
I hope you'll go back there soon.
I'm streetwise.
My new track is out now. Sing along if you know it.
It has just come out.
I'll walk, I'll walk
On your path, my Lord My Lord
Give me your hand I want to stay
-Tommy Cassi is singing a new song. -But it's not a new… No.
I used to sing it in Sunday school.
One more. That was over.
When I was alone and tired
-It's over. It's over. -No.
-The B-side. Let's sing that. -It's over. I wrote it myself.
I'm a budding rapper. I'm trying to stand out in this business.
My repertoire is quite small, almost nonexistent.
But I have a big outfit. A huge one.
But you have…
No, not braces, guys…
-He's wearing braces. -I can't laugh. I've got golden braces.
-Golden braces… -Golden braces?
Golden braces. I wanted golden teeth.
Do you mean you wanted to have all your teeth golden?
Yes, all of them. I wanted to have them all golden.
But my teeth are misaligned,
so my dentist told me, "Let's scratch each other's back. It's expensive,
-but we can do that instead." -This is typical rap talk.
Dentistry. Of course. Sure.
It's hard to eat like this.
But I'd do anything for my career. I can only drink liquids.
-But I'm so stylish. -Hey, champ!
-Your car keys. -Thank you.
-Hey, bomber. That was funny. -Hey, bomber. Your glasses.
-Hey, bomber. Your Vulcan ear. -Hey, bomber. Your trout!
Hey, bomber. Your funny glasses.
-Fuck. He's catching it all. -Hey, bomber. Your paintbrush.
-Stop it. -We're putting that jacket to use.
It's perfect for going to the supermarket.
How can I forget Tommy Cassi's gag with the jacket?
Bomber. The cymbal.
Eh, bomber. The horn.
-I'll go if… -No, please. Stay a while longer.
Unfortunately, they didn't get me. They didn't, but it's normal.
True artists are difficult to appreciate. Swag.
-So, Fede! -Here we go.
-Teaser. -Let's tease, come on.
-I'll kick the ball from here… -Wait for the clapperboard.
I'll pretend to score against Tommy Cassi, and you'll go, "No, it's broken!"
-Okay. -Okay.
-Will you direct us? -Go! I'll tell you when.
-Are you rolling? -I am.
Teaser, "No! Why did you do it? You've broken it!"
Kick it! Kick it!
-You'll never block it! -Don't do it! Don't do it!
-Shall I do it? -Kick it! Come on!
No!
No, you broke it!
Cut! I heard the sound of an ambulance. We have to do it again.
-Great. Perfect timing. -Nice.
Three minutes of a Talk Show.
Geppi, improvise a talk show. The cue cards will reveal the guests.
-Nice. -Any worthy talk show
takes its cues from the 1990s TV shows
we grew up with. One of us wasn't born yet.
In the early '90s, I was being breastfed, but I should keep it to myself.
I'd like to know if any of you can play the piano.
-I know a few chords. I can try. -No, you're my first guest.
You know that popular late night talk show we don't have the rights to use?
-Play… -I could play the opening theme…
-Go on. -Do what you like, come on.
-You know that anyone… -Don't you know Bracardi hardly talked?
He played, he didn't talk.
-Your manners don't… -My manners embrace reality,
-and straddle it. -I'm doing you a favor,
-and you mortify me? -Play, you piece of shit!
That's what they call me at home.
The first guest is a lost cause, Fede.
It's a retired man from Viterbo who suffered from a childhood trauma.
He can't pronounce the letter "A." But he has never lost heart,
so I'd like to call him here on stage. Mr. Massimiliano.
-Good evening. Thank you for the jingle. -You can't use the letter "A."
He said, "Thank you."
-Good evening. -Good evening.
Massimiliano, right?
Exactly. Massimili…no.
What about the first "A"?
M…ssimi… Sometimes I can manage it.
I'd like to thank my speech therapist for helping me overcome…
He speaks better than Ciacci.
-They were about to laugh. -Yes.
I see you are an "aviation activity analyst."
-Yes, yes. -It's not a quiz game.
I c…n't use…
th…t letter…
When I h…ve to pronounce it…
I'm going to cl…p.
Please, allow me to laugh.
Bloody hell, this is great. That's funny.
This one is funny.
Sorry, but have you… Have you ever seen Bracardi getting up
and going into the audience during a show?
Have you met other people with the same problem?
No, no!
No!
Are you sure? If so, how?
-Ouch, ouch, ouch. -No.
I didn't get th…t question…
Do you want to say hi to a relative?
No.
-Uncle… -Brother.
Bloody hell.
Cousin.
-Sister. -What a big family!
-And my nieces and nephews -All of them.
-Bravo. -Thank you.
-Bloody hell, guys. -And now, our next guest.
He's a very dull politician who's trying to reinvent himself…
by appearing young, and making promises using youth slang.
-Enrico Trinchetti. -Yes, hello. My name is Enrico Trinchetti.
I'm the representative of the party… "Italian… Sights."
Is it the opticians' party?
Well, it's a far-sighted party. Our views are clear and focused.
-We see everything. -Well, yes!
It seems like he's opposing. Are you of the opposition party?
He's a lost cause. You're a politician.
Every other time.
We also have a woman, because in every worthy panel
there must be a woman. So, I'd like to ask Marta
to get a chair and come and join us. Please do, Marta.
A typical voluptuous showgirl who writes poems about the countryside.
When did you start writing poetry?
I started writing poetry…
-As a child. -What great energy.
For example, I wrote a poem about the opening and closing of a daisy.
-Is it opening or closing? -Well…
-It's opening. -I can see that.
-What do you think? -Nice, nice, nice.
Our party has drafted a bill that we're planning on presenting.
We're fighting against… Can we say "fighting against"?
You can, he can't.
Of course. We fight, we battle,
-we… adore the people we want… -We want to love.
And… Ah! We care so much for them… We do.
I don't agree. I'm not going to vote for you.
So I'll say the guests are going to applaud for the audience.
"Geppi-Costanzo Show" doesn't sound bad.
It could be a great idea. I'm just saying.
I don't expect a commission. I don't care. I'm just saying.
Four hours have gone by.
If I eat an apple, is it like covering my face? No way.
It depends. If you eat it like this…
You do. But if you go…
Can you go choke somewhere else? You're spitting on me.
Hello, guys. Hello. I know, it's tough.
No!
-Here he comes. -Watch out.
So, let me invite some American celebrities here.
They told me they would show up if I beat them at tug of war.
I'll try to lure these Hollywood stars here…
-Well, no! -…with a rope. Here we go.
I'm trying to tug…
Let me try with Robert Redford. Let's go.
He's a tough guy.
-Is Robert Redford coming in? -Only if I beat him.
-Okay. -Let me try with Harrison Ford. Go.
No, this isn't fair.
-Let me try with Al Pacino. -You can't beat Al Pacino.
Is there anyone under the age of 70?
-Shall we try with… Schwarzenegger? -Schwarzenegger?
-Yes, well. -No, nothing…
-Nothing at all. -Let me try with Fulvio Zilantra.
-No! -I can…
-Ah! -Great!
Fulvio Zilantra is Hollywood in the flesh.
Come with me, Fulvio.
Now it's time for disappearing.
He brought in this perfect stranger. Just an ordinary guy.
He's nuts. He is deadly. Deadly.
When people see Fulvio Zilantra, they assume we're related.
-They want to know who's dressed him. -Yes.
So, I'm not only making him disappear, I'm sending him to Sicily.
Folks, take a good look.
-Maestro. -Wow.
Bravo!
You didn't send him to Sicily!
-Let me call him to prove it. -Prove it.
-He's probably in Aosta. -Hello?
-Hello, Massimo. -Hi, Fulvio. Where are you?
I'm in Sicily. Yes.
-No! -Maestro!
Are you getting Fulvio?
I've never tried psychedelic drugs, but I bet they're like watching Massimo.
-We need something to make them laugh. -Yes.
Let's do like Celentano, going back and forth in that movie.
"We must find a way."
You know? We just have to figure out what to do.
-Well… Let's bring out the big guns. -Let's do that.
Sorry, can you sit on the couch?
We have to tell you something.
You know now that among us here,
the only musicians are Tommaso and me.
-Okay, sure. -Federico Basso, come to the phone.
Now what?
-Here we go. -Good evening. You can see
there's a a earpiece.
We'll ask you to do some things, and you'll do them.
-No explanations. Like a nutcase. -Okay.
It's time to give our Federico Basso some prompts.
Let's start with him imitating a cat.
Tommaso and I have a band,
-and we play songs. -Yes, we know it already.
-Their name is… -Federico, be a cat and make noises.
Then run away, like a cat going crazy.
Three are the ones you used before to tell me to fuck off.
Now we know who drank all the white wine in the storage room.
Does anyone have one of those rifles they use to kill rhinos?
-Shall we geld him to calm him down? -Yes, please.
-A bucket of cold water. -It's a cat from Apulia.
Meow! Meow!
This is quite a sneaky cat. Right? He's a bit…
Now act normal again.
So, you were saying… Is this song yours or someone else's?
No, it's all ours. We wanted the opinion of some friends…
-We're not friends. -Of some professionals.
-We're not professionals. -What the fuck are you?
-We ended up here by chance, and… -We want your input anyway.
So, this song is called "Intercostal Pain."
It's about intercostal pain.
-Okay. -That's surprising.
You bastards
Each time you feel like strokes
Like strokes
-But it's only intercostal pain -Intercostal
-You're not dangerous, nor deadly -No
Except for Uncle Franco who died But maybe in that case
It was actually a stroke
-Give it up for… -It sounds like Beatles' first songs.
-I liked it. -Yes.
It reminded me of Uncle Franco.
I've just found out, by the way. I kept calling him, but he didn't answer.
-This one is called "Buried Alive." -Is it the previous song's sequel?
I'm here, open up Open up!
-It sounded like mahogany, actually. -Great tune for dancing.
-The next one is called "Buried Dead." -Okay.
The next song… We don't know whether to call it a "A Day on a Horse"
or "Wild Night." Here it goes…
Oh, my, oh, my, oh, my My butt hurts
We can't decide on a title.
-It's not that easy. -Thank you.
-Nice. -Very nice.
-What an inspiring moment. -Federico. You are Lino Banfi's cat.
What are you saying? What are you saying? What are you saying?
Oh, my. That's terrible.
-No, don't pet me. Don't touch me. -Marta is very shy.
-Don't touch me. -Federico, be a Roman kangaroo.
Stay away from me, okay? Don't come any closer!
We have to support him, I guess.
-Let's support him. No. -What are you saying? Support who?
"Let's support him."
-I'm off. -I'm doing it to make him feel included.
Federico, put the earpiece back, but don't let the others take notice.
When I see a ball, I can't help myself. Like a Labrador.
Enrico, can you come with me?
Here comes Marta with one of her characters.
Are we about to go live?
Good evening. Thank you for connecting me.
Our first news report comes from Cuneo.
A man was experiencing sever abdomen pain,
but doctors discovered a tube of gel up his rectum.
FROM OUR CORRESPONDENT DEEP INSIDE NEWS
The man refused treatment and ran off.
We caught him while he was running away.
-Hello, Enrico Styling. -I've extracted the tube.
Thank you. Hello. I suppose you'd rather not sit, Enrico?
I can't, unfortunately…
I will never be able to sit again.
Did you pick the tube, or did the tube pick you?
It picked me, out of many tubes.
If I close my eyes, he sounds like Briatore.
Were you able to defecate?
-I defecated a lot. -Look at Tommy's face!
Thank you so much. Let's say goodbye to Enrico Styling.
That's all from Cuneo. Let's hear from our reporter in Ancona, Neves Mind.
Good evening.
They rented a pedal boat in Ancona, and then they take drugs.
-They were found in Croatia… Here are… -Why?
…these four individuals.
How did you end up on a pedal boat?
We wanted to do something foolish.
-We wanted to wrap up the summer… -We wanted to have fun.
-Okay. We're live. -What channel is it?
Are we live?
-To recap… -Live? Boo!
-We hate live shows. -Boo.
You'd be nothing without it!
-Boo! -Live shows stink!
-They're taking over. -Are you going to edit us out?
-No, I'm not.
-Are you going to edit us out? -I am not going to.
-I want to get it over… -Let her get it over with.
Unfortunately, he was the one pedaling. Thats why we ended up in Croatia.
Let me recap. After hours of grueling…
-Pedaling. -Pedaling. That's right.
-Pedaling! -Pedaling!
Yo, yo, yo we go by pedal boat Yo, yo, yo we go by pedal boat
Look at Marta's face.
Let's recap. You rented a pedal boat. After ten grueling minutes
-of pedaling… -Very expensive.
…you took some drugs and got to Croatia.
-Yes. -That's right. That's right.
I have many questions.
First of all, what's Croatia like? I've never been there.
Nice, but I wouldn't want to live there.
There's also a girl…
What a babe! What a babe!
Come on, fuck off!
-We were the drunkards. -Fuck off!
Is that Croatia?
Did you give her drugs?
-Go! -Go!
Fuck off! Fuck all of you!
At this point…
You actually sucked, too.
Bastards! Bastards!
-No! -I think she's mad at you two.
-What a babe! -How gross.
This is the key.
It makes you look like you lost control. If I say, "What a babe!"…
it sounds totally different. "What a babe!" Nice, huh?
-Here! -Guys!
-No! -I thought you'd catch it.
Geppi, you're so…
Congratulations, that was really funny. It was perfect.
When Flora stood there…
That was amazing. "What a babe!"
Let's watch the replay.
What a babe! What a babe!
Come on, fuck you!
-"Fuck you!" -It's so funny, guys.
Did you see? Did you see that?
-I was… -You lost your dignity.
Dignity? He's was wearing pajamas.
Anyway, Marta Zoboli.
-No! -Yes!
The third red card of the game.
Bye, Marta. It's gonna be all right.
No, guys.
I'm worried about that woman.
Marta's slightly over-the-top reaction earned her a red card.
-Marta! -Marta, what a pleasure. Finally!
-We loved seeing you laugh. -It was okay, wasn't it?
That's all from Ancona. Let's send it back to Bolzano. Our reporter Felicity Myass.
-LOL is on again. Come on. -Last one laughing. Go!
Game on.
-I know, it's sad. -It's sad to be a man who doesn't exist.
Marta. Let's lay her bottle there as well.
-Let's give it up for Marta. -Bye, Marta.
Can I say something? Please remember she's not a martyr.
She's Marta.
-Nice. -Viewers are laughing.
We can't laugh here, but they are at home.
They are in stitches. They're not changing channel, but country.
It's not true. I'd remember it. But I don't…
Do you remember… It's gross…
Isn't what I'm seeing odd?
Some movies start like this, with a weak plot.
Do you find it funny?
-What? -Am I making you laugh?
By the way, I understand her much better than when she speaks normally.
So? Can we laugh now? Isn't this funny? It's impossible…
Red card! Red card! Red card!
No, come on!
-Well, but like that… -He laughed. He laughed.
-Bloody hell. -Who was it?
Assholes!
-Save him! No, Tommy! -No!
Oh, no! No! No!
-You suck. -Look me in the eye when you do it.
All that glitters is "crunch."
A million for the gentleman.