1 00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:16,120 Whoa, whoa, whoa, golly. 2 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:20,280 Well, what if Donald shouts at me? 3 00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:22,520 What do I say, Lammy? 4 00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:26,560 Just be yourself, Prime Minister. 5 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,560 Yourself is who everyone likes. 6 00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:32,040 Hello? 7 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:33,520 Ah! 8 00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:41,560 Oh, sod that scary, scary, wonderful president. 9 00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:44,200 Why is it so blubbered difficult to talk to? 10 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:47,640 Sir, just be honest and tell him we 11 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:50,920 can't send any more ships to the Strait of Hormuz. 12 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:52,200 Oh, crumbs. 13 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:56,280 I just hate conflict so much. 14 00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:58,960 Are you referring to the war or this phone call? 15 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:01,880 Isn't there a way I can not do both? 16 00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:05,080 I just want to keep him happy, Lammy. 17 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:08,000 You don't understand him like I do. 18 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:09,720 I can change him. 19 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:14,160 I don't think the feeling's mutual. 20 00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:15,680 He can't stop insulting you. 21 00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:17,360 He called you a coward. 22 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:20,760 I'm out of my depth here, Lammy. 23 00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:25,680 How did Liz Truss make this job look so easy? 24 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:28,840 Look, we were worried you'd lose your nerve. 25 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:32,320 So we've taken steps to help you gain unfounded confidence. 26 00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:35,480 Mr. Prime Minister, meet your Gen Z advisor Atlu Hoopy. 27 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:36,440 What's up, Starmzy? 28 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:38,080 Bow, bow, bow. 29 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:41,320 Atlu Hoopy is the most qualified person we have. 30 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:44,560 He is the only person under 23 who voted Labour and would 31 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:48,000 so again in the next election. 32 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:50,720 You're not voting for the Green party? 33 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:52,520 Nah, my dad works in oil. 34 00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:56,440 No cap, Starmzy, I love you and I do hearts this way 35 00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:58,680 with my thumb. 36 00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:00,320 Thank you Atlu Hoopy. 37 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:03,440 I love you too. 38 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:05,760 Sir Keir is trying to set boundaries with the president 39 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:08,480 while preserving their special relationship. 40 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:10,720 I see, facts, facts are key. 41 00:02:10,920 --> 00:02:14,280 So you're looking for more of a special situationship. 42 00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:15,920 OK, I've got you covered. 43 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:17,560 I'm an expert in messy drama. 44 00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:20,440 I've been in three throuples and I'm currently gay. 45 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:25,640 First thing you gotta do, you got to forget the phone call. 46 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:27,840 These days, it's all about the voice note. 47 00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:29,760 I'll try anything. 48 00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:31,800 I'll do anything. 49 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:33,800 Except take a stand. 50 00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:38,080 That is so Kier-coded. 51 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:40,480 Hey, listen, take the phone and just speak from the heart. 52 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:44,400 Hi, Donald. 53 00:02:46,640 --> 00:02:50,240 I'm afraid I can't go to war with you. 54 00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:53,960 But that doesn't mean we can't still be chums. 55 00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:57,280 America and Britain have a long, proud tradition 56 00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:01,240 of cooperation, and nothing can take that away. 57 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:03,440 Remember the good times. 58 00:03:03,640 --> 00:03:06,640 Remember D-Day. 59 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:09,320 Remember Live Aid. 60 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:12,240 Remember Iraq-- 61 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:14,960 For the first week, and then none of the rest. 62 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:21,480 Remember Helen Baxendale on "Friends." 63 00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:25,040 Remember Hugh Laurie on "Friends." 64 00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:26,800 Remember the episode of "Friends" 65 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,680 where they all came to London. 66 00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:35,200 Remember the one where Joey put on all of Chandler's clothes. 67 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:37,960 That was a funny one. 68 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:41,920 Get back on track, Sir Kier. 69 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:43,520 Yes. 70 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:45,960 Most importantly, remember the one where Ross and 71 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:48,600 Rachel were on a break. 72 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:51,160 I think perhaps that's what we need. 73 00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:53,920 Not forever, just until you've got all 74 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:56,000 this war out of your system. 75 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:59,080 Listen, we want different things. 76 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:03,160 I know how badly you want to start World War III, 77 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:05,800 and that's great. 78 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:08,240 You should absolutely do that. 79 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,840 But we can't be a part of it. 80 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:16,560 You can, however, use the Naval bases whenever you want. 81 00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:18,600 Mi basa, su basa. 82 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:27,960 Sick job, K-dot. 83 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:30,160 Good work, Sir Keir. 84 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:32,800 You did the bare minimum. 85 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:35,200 And that's all people expect. 86 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,080 Thank you, Lammy. 87 00:04:37,280 --> 00:04:40,120 It just goes to show, while we may not 88 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:42,760 agree with everything America does, 89 00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:45,800 we can still be civil and embrace 90 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:50,640 their wonderful, unproblematic culture. 91 00:04:50,840 --> 00:04:56,720 Speaking of which, live from London it's Saturday Night! 92 00:04:56,920 --> 00:05:00,160 [cheering, applause] 93 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:03,160 [upbeat music] 94 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:06,000 ♪ ♪ 95 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:13,400 ANNOUNCER: It's "Saturday Night Live" with Hammed Animashaun. 96 00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:20,560 ♪ ♪ 97 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:23,560 Ayoade Bamgboye. 98 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:27,120 ♪ ♪ 99 00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:28,720 Larry Dean. 100 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:34,160 ♪ ♪ 101 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:36,760 Celeste Dring. 102 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:40,200 ♪ ♪ 103 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:43,160 George Fouracres. 104 00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:46,520 ♪ ♪ 105 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:48,840 Ania Magliano. 106 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:51,880 ♪ ♪ 107 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:54,880 Annabel Marlow. 108 00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:58,000 ♪ ♪ 109 00:05:58,200 --> 00:05:59,520 Al Nash. 110 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:02,960 ♪ ♪ 111 00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:05,120 Jack Shep. 112 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:09,280 ♪ ♪ 113 00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:10,960 Emma Sidi. 114 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:16,720 ♪ ♪ 115 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:18,600 Paddy Young. 116 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:23,560 ♪ ♪ 117 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:26,680 Musical guest, Wet Leg. 118 00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:29,920 ♪ ♪ 119 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:33,360 And your host, Tina Fey. 120 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:36,320 [applause, cheers] 121 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:42,320 ♪ ♪ 122 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:46,320 Ladies and gentlemen, Tina Fey! 123 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:53,360 ♪ ♪ 124 00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:04,440 Thank you very much. 125 00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:05,840 Oh, my gosh. 126 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:08,080 I am so excited to be here in London. 127 00:07:08,280 --> 00:07:12,120 It is an absolute honor and honestly kind of historic. 128 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:17,760 Guys, I am the youngest person ever to host "SNL UK"! 129 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:20,840 [cheers, applause] 130 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,400 Again, my name is Tina Fey. 131 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:25,360 Here in the UK-- 132 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:28,120 here in the UK, you might know me as the teacher from "Mean 133 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:33,280 Girls," or you might remember a long time ago when I played 134 00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:35,480 Sarah Palin on "SNL" US. 135 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:40,680 Or maybe you feel like you recognize me as the lady 136 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:43,680 from the show "Veep." 137 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:44,680 And that's fine too. 138 00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:46,480 Let's go with that. 139 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:49,440 So why do a UK version of "SNL." 140 00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:52,960 Well, like so many large-scale American operations 141 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:57,040 these days, no one really knows why. 142 00:07:57,240 --> 00:07:59,360 But here's what this is, OK? 143 00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:01,080 It is a sketch comedy show. 144 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:03,880 There will be a different celebrity host each week. 145 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:05,720 There will be music performances. 146 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:10,680 And the show is truly live, so things may go wrong. 147 00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:12,400 Things may have already gone wrong. 148 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:16,000 My pants were supposed to be full length. 149 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:18,320 And I'm so excited for you to meet your cast. 150 00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:19,680 They are wonderful. 151 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:22,560 I can't even begin to understand 152 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:24,800 them when they speak. 153 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:29,560 One boy is either Scottish or choking. 154 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:31,800 But their energy is A plus. 155 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,200 And I am going to stay out of their way tonight 156 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:35,560 as much as possible. 157 00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:38,280 I am just here, as a longtime "SNL" 158 00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:42,960 employee to help out and to answer any questions anyone 159 00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:44,040 might have of what to expect. 160 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:44,960 Oh, hi. 161 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:46,000 Yeah, Nicola Coughlan. 162 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:47,000 Hi. 163 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:49,880 [applause, cheering] 164 00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:51,240 Hi. 165 00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:52,840 It is lovely to see you. 166 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:56,680 But my question is, if this is "SNL UK," then 167 00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:59,360 why are you the first host? 168 00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:01,040 Shouldn't it be like a British icon, 169 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:04,040 like David Beckham or-- or Judi Dench or, like, Shrek? 170 00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:05,320 Yeah, Shrek. 171 00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:07,440 Wait, Shrek is British? 172 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:09,600 Scotland is in Britain, Tina. 173 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,120 Educate yourself. 174 00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:12,840 Sorry, my apologies. 175 00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:16,040 Well, that is a valid question, why an American host. 176 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:18,360 And the way it was explained to me 177 00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:21,600 was that for this first episode, anyway, um, 178 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:23,520 how do I put this politely? 179 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:27,120 None of you fuckers would do it. 180 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:28,120 Does that make sense? 181 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:29,520 Yeah, it does, it does. 182 00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:32,640 But is it possible that many of us 183 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:35,120 were a little reluctant to be in the first show 184 00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:36,840 because this is going out in Britain, 185 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:40,880 and British people tend to root for the failure of others? 186 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,320 Yes! 187 00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:44,120 Yeah, yeah, why are you guys like that? 188 00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:45,200 Well, not me. 189 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:47,160 I'm Irish. 190 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:48,160 Educate yourself. 191 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:50,480 Yes. 192 00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:52,440 Look, that all is to say, if this show is a hit, 193 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:54,200 and if you do ever happen to get 194 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:56,600 Olly Murs for musical guest, I would be honored to come 195 00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:58,720 back and win a BAFTA for it. 196 00:09:58,920 --> 00:09:59,800 Amazing! 197 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:00,840 That's great to know. 198 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:02,280 Thank you, Nicola. 199 00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:06,840 Any-- any other questions? 200 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,160 Oh, sure. Michael Cera. 201 00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:09,280 Hi. 202 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:14,480 Hi, Tina. 203 00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:15,800 Hi, Michael. 204 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,040 Why are you here? 205 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:18,400 You're not British. - No, no. 206 00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:19,560 I'm Canadian. 207 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:20,440 It's part of the Commonwealth. 208 00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:21,520 Educate yourself. 209 00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:24,440 Sorry. 210 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:26,240 No, I don't really have a question. 211 00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:27,560 But I just wanted to say, I think-- 212 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:29,280 I think you just swore a second ago. 213 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:30,280 You said the F word. 214 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:31,960 Oh, yeah. 215 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:34,520 We are allowed to swear in this version of the show. 216 00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:37,640 [applause, cheers] 217 00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:38,760 It's crazy. 218 00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:40,400 But can I try? 219 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:43,000 Sure, if you want to. 220 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:45,280 Shitbird. 221 00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:49,280 Just fucking bollocks! 222 00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:51,000 Yeah, I think I would use it sparingly. 223 00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:52,400 It feels kind of unclassy. 224 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:53,640 Yeah, you know what? You're right. 225 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:54,640 I agree, Michael. 226 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:55,640 That's a great note. 227 00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:57,840 Thank you so much. 228 00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:01,280 I think we have time for one more. 229 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:02,200 Oh, yes. 230 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:03,440 Graham Norton! 231 00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:06,280 [applause, cheers] 232 00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:08,160 So nice to see you. 233 00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:12,200 I just wondered, did you know that this is usually my studio? 234 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:13,800 Yeah, I did hear that, Graham. 235 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:15,320 Thank you for loaning it to us. 236 00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:17,120 Oh, would you mind if I came up 237 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:18,600 there and just showed you a fiddly thing about this place? 238 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:19,680 Oh, I would love it. Come on. 239 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:20,640 Graham Norton, everybody. 240 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:22,520 Come on up. 241 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:23,520 Yeah. 242 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:24,840 Great. 243 00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:25,640 Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. 244 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:27,120 Yeah, sure. 245 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,800 Now, Tina, I believe you've always had 246 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,880 a deep love of British comedy. 247 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:34,680 Are you interviewing me now? 248 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:36,880 Let me help you. 249 00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:39,920 I have a gift for making American celebrities 250 00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:41,680 likable to a British audience. 251 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:43,480 Wait, are we not likable? 252 00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:44,760 Oh. 253 00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:48,760 Hey, I hear you have a really funny 254 00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:51,800 story about watching British television 255 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:52,920 as a-- as a young child. 256 00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:54,440 Oh, well, yes. 257 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:57,000 Actually, growing up, we thought that anything 258 00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:58,680 British was educational. 259 00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:01,080 So my parents showed us all British shows. 260 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:03,600 And we used to watch "Benny Hill" as a family. 261 00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:05,640 No. 262 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:08,400 As a young girl, you would watch "Benny Hill"? 263 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:09,960 Yeah. 264 00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:12,600 It really messed me up sexually. 265 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:14,080 What about "Ab Fab"? 266 00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:15,320 Oh, sweetie, darling, you're just 267 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:16,520 a little shopgirl, darling. 268 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:17,720 "Keeping up Appearances." 269 00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:18,720 Richard! 270 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:20,080 Oh, And "Monty Python." 271 00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:21,720 That is an ex-parrot. 272 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:22,720 "Fawlty Towers." 273 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:24,240 Nobody mention the war. 274 00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:25,560 "Are You Being Served?" 275 00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:28,000 My pussy is like an alarm clock. 276 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:29,600 "Reggie Perrin." 277 00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:31,480 I didn't get where I am today by waffling. 278 00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:32,880 Deep cut "Monty Python." 279 00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:35,880 We lived in shoe box in middle of road. 280 00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:37,000 "EastEnders." 281 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:38,440 I killed Ethel. 282 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:39,920 Oh, mwah! 283 00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:44,720 And David-- David Brent. 284 00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:46,720 There's been a rape up there! 285 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:47,960 Top trends. 286 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:50,360 Nothing beats a Jet2 holiday! 287 00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:51,960 ♪ Autoglass repair ♪ 288 00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:53,120 ♪ Autoglass replace ♪ 289 00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:54,080 Oh! 290 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:55,760 That's it, Tina. 291 00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:57,200 They're all yours now, Tina. All yours. 292 00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:58,240 Thank you. 293 00:12:58,440 --> 00:12:59,360 We've got a great show. 294 00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:00,400 Wet Leg is here. 295 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:02,080 Stick around and watch this! 296 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:04,520 [applause, cheers] 297 00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:07,120 [upbeat music] 298 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:10,720 When it comes to age-defying skincare, 299 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:12,720 I don't need a time machine. 300 00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:15,080 I just need something that works. 301 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:18,480 So I can bring back the spark in me. 302 00:13:18,680 --> 00:13:20,120 And in us. 303 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:24,240 And now I've found it. 304 00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:27,280 The anti-aging cream that works so well, everyone 305 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:28,960 will think your husband-- 306 00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:32,000 is a nonce. 307 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:33,400 She's my wife. 308 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:35,320 She's a grown woman. - Shut your mouth! 309 00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:36,400 You make me sick. 310 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:42,920 Introducing Undérage. 311 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:45,240 With active compounds and hyaluronic acid, 312 00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:47,800 Undérage delivers special protection for your skin 313 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:50,720 and ensures your husband will need special protection 314 00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:52,520 when he's in jail. 315 00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:54,960 My wife's skin has never looked more youthful and fresh. 316 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:56,560 It's destroyed my life! 317 00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:58,320 Thanks, Undérage. 318 00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:01,080 My skin looks so fresh, my husband can't go anywhere 319 00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:02,720 without being hunted by right-wing, 320 00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:04,200 pedophile-catching militias. 321 00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,720 [knocking, yelling] 322 00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:09,640 We know you're in there! 323 00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:12,600 Frank, someone's at the door. 324 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:14,000 Thanks, Undérage. 325 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:16,240 My husband is no longer allowed 326 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,040 within 200 feet of a school. 327 00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:21,280 My husband lost his record deal and some, 328 00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:24,680 but not all, of his fans. 329 00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:26,520 He loves the way I look. 330 00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:27,600 Yeah. 331 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,160 But, you know, not like that. 332 00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:30,120 Sorry. 333 00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:31,840 Excuse me. 334 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:34,560 Little girl, do you know this man? 335 00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:35,560 That's my wife. 336 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:38,160 You sick bastard. 337 00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:40,560 He's married to an Undérage girl. 338 00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:43,400 He's married to an Undérage girl. 339 00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:46,680 I'm married to an underage girl. 340 00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:49,080 I don't know if I pronounced that right. 341 00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:50,080 I don't know about that. 342 00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:51,680 No, I didn't mean that. 343 00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:54,520 No, it's the name of the thing. 344 00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:56,280 Undérage. 345 00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:57,920 I'm not underage. 346 00:14:58,120 --> 00:14:58,880 Or am I? 347 00:14:59,080 --> 00:14:59,880 She's not. 348 00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:00,880 She's not! 349 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:04,640 Undérage by Pedolay. 350 00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:07,720 [applause, cheers] 351 00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:13,520 Hello. 352 00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:16,360 I'm David Attenborough. 353 00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:19,520 And it can't be long now. 354 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:28,720 As the only remaining national treasure not on that list, 355 00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:33,320 I enjoy a place as one of 90% of the British public's 356 00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:35,760 dream dinner party guests. 357 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:39,360 But I'm often asked who would be on mine. 358 00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:44,560 Well, using DNA sampling and my own brother's "Jurassic Park" 359 00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:48,880 technology, I have reanimated some of history's greatest 360 00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:53,800 Britons for one night only so that I can ask them what 361 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,600 really makes Britain great. 362 00:15:56,800 --> 00:16:00,560 This is David Attenborough's "Last Supper." 363 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:05,920 [applause, cheers] 364 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:12,040 I'd like to welcome my guests. 365 00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:15,080 Prime Minister Winston Churchill. 366 00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:19,200 Astronomer and mathematician Sir Isaac Newton. 367 00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:22,800 Nurse Mary Seacole. 368 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,400 Diana, Princess of Wales. 369 00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:31,680 Author Agatha Christie. 370 00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:34,960 Poet Benjamin Zephaniah. 371 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,160 Freddie Mercury from Queen. 372 00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:39,160 ♪ - Ay-oh! ♪ 373 00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:42,560 Elizabeth I from being the Queen. 374 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:44,280 ♪ - Ay-oh! ♪ 375 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:47,640 Surprise, surprise, it's Cilla Black. 376 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,360 Ay-oh, Chuck! 377 00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:54,040 Thanks so much for hosting this dinner party, Sir David. 378 00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:57,000 You're very welcome, Princess Di. 379 00:16:57,200 --> 00:17:04,480 Now, as this cloning technology only works for one hour. 380 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:10,040 I'll cut to the chase. 381 00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:15,000 What do you think makes Britain great? 382 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:17,560 Before we commence, there is a mystery 383 00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:19,440 I should like to solve. 384 00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:22,000 Are we doing starters? 385 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:24,040 I'm getting a starter. 386 00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:25,160 I'm bleeding starving. 387 00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:26,200 Yes. 388 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,000 Order whatever you like. 389 00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:31,920 Tonight is about thrilling conversation and the greatness 390 00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:33,080 of Great Britain. 391 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:35,880 Yes, Winston Churchill? 392 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:38,040 Shall we get three starters for the table 393 00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:40,760 and do picky bits? 394 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:42,960 ♪ - Ay-oh! ♪ 395 00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:44,360 Freddie says he wants the croquettes. 396 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:45,320 Oh. 397 00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:47,160 Oh, yeah. 398 00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:49,640 I'd have the croquettes, but I only want a little nibble. 399 00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:58,200 Well, hang on, hang on. 400 00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:01,800 By my calculations, there are three croquettes in one order 401 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,160 and 10 of us. 402 00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:04,400 Therefore, if we order three portions, 403 00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:05,920 one person will miss out. 404 00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:07,240 The solution is simple. 405 00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:09,320 We order four. 406 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:12,880 That means that three people will get two croquettes. 407 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:14,160 But who? 408 00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:15,680 Another mystery. 409 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:17,640 Look, look, look, look, look. 410 00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:19,440 Don't-- don't worry about the food. 411 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:24,320 The BBC have spared no expense bringing you back to life. 412 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:28,880 I'm sure they're happy to cover one dinner at the Ivy. 413 00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:32,920 Now, as to the source of Britain's greatness. 414 00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:35,280 Not to be that person, but I don't like croquettes. 415 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:36,280 I'd rather get the soup. 416 00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:37,680 Hang about. 417 00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:40,200 That's a lot of starter just for you. 418 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:41,960 [scatting] 419 00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:43,480 Freddie is right. 420 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:45,480 We shouldn't all have to pay for your starter. 421 00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:46,520 Well, no one's paying. 422 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:47,720 No one's paying. 423 00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:51,360 It's-- It's covered, guys. 424 00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:55,240 Tonight is about scintillating conversation 425 00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:57,200 and learning from each other. 426 00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:58,200 Yes? 427 00:18:58,400 --> 00:18:59,840 Benjamin Zephaniah. 428 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:02,800 Do you think each curry comes with a free rice? 429 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,160 If it has an asterisk next to its name, 430 00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:06,920 then it comes with free rice. 431 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:10,720 ♪ People on the street ♪ 432 00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:13,960 You're right, Freddy, there are some people on the street, 433 00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:17,640 but that doesn't answer the question about poppadoms. 434 00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:19,320 Stop it! 435 00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:21,840 Stop it now! 436 00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:25,520 It doesn't matter what we have to eat. 437 00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:26,760 Put that down! 438 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:28,160 Put it-- 439 00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:31,520 This experiment has been a complete waste 440 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:34,040 of time and money. 441 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,160 The answer I was looking for as to 442 00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:41,640 what makes Britain truly great was the NHS and Center Parcs. 443 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:45,280 There you've ruined it. 444 00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:46,600 Dinner over. 445 00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:51,320 Now, we shall move on to the lovemaking 446 00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:52,840 portion of the evening. 447 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:59,320 Anybody who wants to leave, now's your chance. 448 00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:01,840 [easy listening music] 449 00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:03,640 Head over to iPlayer now to see 450 00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:08,080 the full uncut edition of David Attenborough's Last Supper. 451 00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:12,680 [applause, cheers] 452 00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:21,560 [upbeat music] 453 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:26,080 ♪ ♪ 454 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:33,520 [upbeat music] 455 00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:40,560 ♪ ♪ 456 00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:44,920 Heya, how you doing? 457 00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:46,480 I'm Ed Boovies. 458 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:49,520 Welcome to Boovies goes to the Films, the show 459 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:51,320 about all things cinema. 460 00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:53,240 And this is a very special day. 461 00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:54,960 I'm pinching myself, to be honest. 462 00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:57,920 We've got Ricky Hall and Lena Phillips in the house! 463 00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:02,760 - What's happening? - Good to be here. 464 00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:04,440 They're here to talk to us through their new film, 465 00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:05,680 "Hot Streak." 466 00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:07,520 And they are two icons of cinema! 467 00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:08,560 I hope you don't mind me saying. 468 00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:10,480 No, I don't mind at all. 469 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:11,480 Keep saying it. 470 00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:14,680 [laughs] 471 00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:18,520 Lena, I've been a fan since your first film, "Sunrise Eyes" 472 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:20,520 Wow, that's a deep cut. 473 00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:22,040 Yeah. 474 00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:23,680 Cult classic alert. 475 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:29,200 [laughs] And Ricky, "Crazy Goat," underrated movie. 476 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:30,640 - Thanks so much, man. - No, no. 477 00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:32,480 Thank you. 478 00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:34,840 I guess I'm trying to say, I love you and your work so much. 479 00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:36,000 I hope that's not too creepy. 480 00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:37,240 Oh, thank you. 481 00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:38,720 Thanks so much, man, wow. 482 00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:40,440 OK, so let's talk about "Hot Streak." 483 00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:41,560 I watched this last night. 484 00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:43,200 It fucking sucked. 485 00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:51,600 Excuse me? 486 00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:53,880 It sucked. 487 00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:55,720 So bad, like all the way through. 488 00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:56,840 What happened? 489 00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:03,080 Um. 490 00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:04,520 Lena, you first. 491 00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:09,680 Yeah, well, we loved working on this movie. 492 00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:13,560 Yeah, it was a dream to work with Vicky, our director. 493 00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:17,120 But why did it suck so bad, like all the way through? 494 00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:18,640 Well, I don't think it sucked. 495 00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:20,040 It did. 496 00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:21,160 Did it? 497 00:22:21,360 --> 00:22:22,400 Yeah, all the way through. 498 00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:24,520 Where's our PR? 499 00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:26,000 No, no, he's gone to get me some fruit. 500 00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:27,120 Look. 501 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:29,880 I could be wrong. 502 00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:32,480 I don't think I am, but I could be. 503 00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:35,680 Let's check out a clip. 504 00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:37,400 You have to listen to me, you're our only hope. 505 00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:39,280 [muffled audio] 506 00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:40,400 Oh, boo! 507 00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:43,920 This is sucking so bad. 508 00:22:44,120 --> 00:22:46,720 Ricky, you're not even acting there. 509 00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:50,680 I mean, you are acting, but it's so wrong and sour, 510 00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:52,080 you know? 511 00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:54,120 No, no, stop the tape, stop the tape. 512 00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:56,120 It's just-- that sucks. 513 00:22:58,440 --> 00:22:59,640 I just-- 514 00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:03,080 [easy listening music] 515 00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:06,800 I just know if you tried, if everyone tried 516 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:11,000 and like gave you everything, we could have got there. 517 00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:13,480 It didn't have to be good, you know. 518 00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:14,800 I don't need good. 519 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:17,840 I just need it not to fucking suck, 520 00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:19,360 like, all the way through. 521 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:21,720 Can everything stop sucking all the time? 522 00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:24,480 Because it's making my life bad. 523 00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:26,680 Is that too much to ask? 524 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:28,240 Please. 525 00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:29,200 Sorry. 526 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:31,600 We're-- we're sorry. 527 00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:33,480 That's OK. 528 00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:36,120 Join us next time on "Boovies goes to the Films." 529 00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:39,160 I'm Ed Boovies wishing you a decent day. 530 00:23:39,360 --> 00:23:41,600 Awe, get in, legend, thanks. 531 00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:44,880 [applause, cheers] 532 00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:46,520 [tense music] 533 00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:47,920 Get to work. 534 00:23:48,120 --> 00:23:49,480 What a time to be alive, people. 535 00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:50,600 My name is Turpin Turpin. 536 00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:52,040 Yep. 537 00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:53,320 Both my names are Turpin. Great job. 538 00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:54,920 All right. Jan, how are we doing? 539 00:23:55,120 --> 00:23:55,920 Good. - Yeah. 540 00:23:56,120 --> 00:23:57,560 What do we do here? 541 00:23:57,760 --> 00:23:58,760 We're all working together to make the internet as 542 00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:00,000 bad as we can possibly get it. 543 00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:01,640 It's a team effort. 544 00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:03,200 I'm Jan. 545 00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:05,600 I'm almost 19 and I'm the password manager. 546 00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:09,080 Essentially, my job is just before you enter in a short, 547 00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:11,440 memorable password of your own, I come up with a very long 548 00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:13,320 and complicated one, hoping I'll remember 549 00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:16,040 it and then I don't. 550 00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:17,360 I'm the X-Man. 551 00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:19,080 I do all the x's for online adverts. 552 00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:21,280 We try and make them smaller than any human finger. 553 00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:23,960 Even if you do notice it, what does an x even mean? 554 00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:26,800 Sometimes it can mean close this window. 555 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,640 Sometimes it can mean open four more windows. 556 00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:31,240 It can be either. 557 00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:33,600 I think most people think it's the first one. 558 00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:35,160 Most people voted for Hitler. 559 00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:38,320 Sorry. 560 00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:39,720 I'm online a lot. 561 00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:41,440 I don't know what's real. 562 00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:43,400 The thing is, is there are websites that no one would 563 00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:45,200 ever intentionally visit. 564 00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:48,200 You know, no one actually wants to enter the r house draw. 565 00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:50,200 No one is really owed money just for being 566 00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:52,600 born between 1995 and 1997. 567 00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:54,920 And no one intentionally clicks on "Family Guy" 568 00:24:55,120 --> 00:24:56,880 porn, except me. 569 00:24:57,080 --> 00:25:00,880 But that's only because of how much I like to look at it. 570 00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:01,840 Good, people. 571 00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:03,080 This is good. 572 00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:04,360 Whoa! 573 00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:05,960 My speciality? 574 00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:07,600 I'm the guy who moves things at the last second 575 00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:11,000 so that people click on the wrong stuff online. 576 00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:16,280 [suspenseful music] 577 00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:18,840 OK, she's about to click stand by. 578 00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:20,240 Standing by. 579 00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:25,120 ♪ ♪ 580 00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:27,360 She's hovering. 581 00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:29,840 Sh-- she's hovering. 582 00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:32,680 And budge it. 583 00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:36,440 Buy something! 584 00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:37,480 Annoying. 585 00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:39,960 Yes! 586 00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:40,960 Yes! 587 00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:43,640 [cheering] 588 00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:46,400 That's five seconds she won't get back. 589 00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:50,720 Sir, we got her. 590 00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:53,760 Oh, this is beautiful. 591 00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:54,840 Do you get paid? 592 00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:57,200 No, no no, no. 593 00:25:57,400 --> 00:25:58,200 But let me ask you this. 594 00:25:58,400 --> 00:25:59,280 Let me ask you this. 595 00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:00,480 Do you get paid for your job? 596 00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:01,520 Yeah. 597 00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:05,920 Interesting. 598 00:26:06,120 --> 00:26:08,360 [applause, cheers] 599 00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:11,400 [upbeat music] 600 00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:15,320 ♪ ♪ 601 00:26:19,360 --> 00:26:22,320 [upbeat music] 602 00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:27,720 ♪ ♪ 603 00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:30,280 [applause, cheers] 604 00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:34,520 Gosh, 10 hours of labor. 605 00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:36,560 Doesn't look like this little man's in a rush. 606 00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:38,320 Why is it taking so long? 607 00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:40,640 Don't worry, he's just a bit-- he's just a bit shy. 608 00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:43,240 Aw. 609 00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:45,600 Aw look it, he's just sort of hiding. 610 00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:47,160 Bless him. 611 00:26:47,360 --> 00:26:48,920 There's not wrong with being shy, is there? 612 00:26:49,120 --> 00:26:51,240 Oh, not wrong at all. 613 00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:54,200 I think I prefer a shy one, to be honest. 614 00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:55,160 Out of my way. 615 00:26:55,360 --> 00:26:56,480 I'm Dr. Amanda Miller. 616 00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:58,200 I graduated Harvard summa cum laude. 617 00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:00,320 My kids are very mean to me, but I don't have time 618 00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:01,720 to get into that right now. 619 00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:04,040 Wait, why is the obstetrician here? 620 00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:06,000 He's just a bit shy, isn't he? 621 00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:07,560 I wish that was the case. 622 00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:10,600 I'm so sorry, Mrs. Cook, but your baby is not shy. 623 00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:12,840 He's something much more sinister. 624 00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:15,880 He's pretending to be shy for attention. 625 00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:24,120 And we need to act fast before it metastasizes. 626 00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:25,760 This all seems a bit dramatic. 627 00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:27,440 Well, unless you want your son 628 00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:30,720 to be an adult man who is addicted to canceling plans, 629 00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:32,760 let me do my goddamn job. 630 00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:35,920 Well, wait. 631 00:27:36,120 --> 00:27:37,440 Hang on. 632 00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:39,000 What-- what if he's shy around strangers, 633 00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:41,520 but he lets his guard down around people he trusts? 634 00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:43,440 Like an introverted extrovert? 635 00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:45,400 Yeah, those are essentially a myth. 636 00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:48,040 Most people who make a big deal out of being shy 637 00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:52,320 are, medically speaking, fake ass divas. 638 00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:55,480 No son of mine's going to be a fake ass diva! 639 00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:58,280 I mean, look, I'm no doctor. 640 00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:00,560 I'm just a stupid rocket scientist, 641 00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:03,800 but I think he's genuinely shy. 642 00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:08,040 OK, but like, now he's dancing. 643 00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:20,200 I'm just like, why-- why would a genuinely shy person do that? 644 00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:22,600 Wait, he's-- he's quite good. 645 00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:26,360 My God, he is quite good! 646 00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:29,240 He's not amazing, but he's quite good. 647 00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:30,800 He's got spirit. 648 00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:32,720 You can tell he's actually enjoying himself. 649 00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:35,240 Hey, ho. 650 00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:37,720 Hey, ho. 651 00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:40,280 Mr. and Mrs. Cook, this is serious. 652 00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:42,320 An authentically shy person would not 653 00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:44,320 pop their puss in this manner. 654 00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:49,960 Oh, Harry, maybe she's right. 655 00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:52,560 What if our son is giving cringe? 656 00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:55,400 Only claiming to be socially awkward when it suits him-- 657 00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:58,000 slash them. 658 00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:00,800 Sitting in the corner at parties because he gets 659 00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:03,480 overwhelmed, but then he's the loudest 660 00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:07,720 and most abrasive person there by quite some distance. 661 00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:09,520 The type of bitch to give a presentation at work 662 00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:11,120 can make the whole thing about how nervous 663 00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:12,880 he is, even though it's like, girl, 664 00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:15,840 you volunteered to do this. 665 00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:17,720 Oh, no. 666 00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:19,720 Now he's holding his hands out to show that they're shaking, 667 00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:22,120 but it's obvious it's him that's making it happen. 668 00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:24,480 [sobs] 669 00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:26,360 Doctor, do something! 670 00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:28,560 Grab a leg. 671 00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:31,240 Honey, are you the diamond in my wedding ring? 672 00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:32,920 Because you are fake as hell and we 673 00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:36,440 can see right through you, OK? 674 00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:37,840 OK, well, he's dancing again. 675 00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:39,280 Oh, God. 676 00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:41,560 Doctor, please, we just want him 677 00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:44,200 out of there safe and sound. 678 00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:45,600 Fine. 679 00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:49,240 I promised myself I would never do this. 680 00:29:49,440 --> 00:29:50,840 Hey, sweetie? 681 00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:52,880 How are you feeling? 682 00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:56,520 So, a bunch of us are thinking of doing karaoke. 683 00:29:56,720 --> 00:29:57,560 Oh, stop. 684 00:29:57,760 --> 00:29:59,000 Don't leave without me! 685 00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:00,880 [laughs] 686 00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:02,360 But I'm literally just going to watch. 687 00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:04,480 [screams] 688 00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:05,480 He's coming. 689 00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:07,400 He's coming. 690 00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:09,360 Congratulations! 691 00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:10,800 He's a nightmare! 692 00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:14,200 ♪ Hey, ho ♪ 693 00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:17,120 ♪ Hey, ho ♪ 694 00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:19,560 ♪ Hey, ho ♪ 695 00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:22,960 ♪ Hey, ho ♪ 696 00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:28,840 Ladies and gentlemen, Wet Leg. 697 00:30:29,040 --> 00:30:35,520 [cheers and applause] 698 00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:39,000 ♪ Nice try, get out the way ♪ 699 00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:40,760 ♪ You're in our way ♪ 700 00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:42,840 ♪ You bottom feeder ♪ 701 00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:46,240 ♪ Too bad you couldn't stay ♪ 702 00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:47,520 ♪ You're in our way ♪ 703 00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:51,240 ♪ Get lost forever ♪ 704 00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:54,480 ♪ Get lost forever ♪ 705 00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:58,360 ♪ Get lost forever ♪ 706 00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:03,840 ♪ Get lost forever ♪ 707 00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:05,160 ♪ You think I'm pretty ♪ 708 00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:07,520 ♪ You think I'm pretty cool ♪ 709 00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:08,800 ♪ You want to fuck me ♪ 710 00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:11,120 ♪ I know most people do ♪ 711 00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:12,600 ♪ Here, take this packet, ♪ 712 00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:14,600 ♪ You read it, it says, "Mangetout" ♪ 713 00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:16,240 ♪ I gave you magic beans ♪ 714 00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:18,280 ♪ I hope you're gonna get out soon ♪ 715 00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:22,000 ♪ Oh, man, I hope you're gonna get out soon ♪ 716 00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:26,280 ♪ I really hope you're gonna get out soon ♪ 717 00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:32,960 ♪ Oh, man, I really hope you're gonna get out soon ♪ 718 00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:36,600 ♪ Good job, give you an A ♪ 719 00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:40,520 ♪ A gold star, you think you're clever ♪ 720 00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:43,640 ♪ Good God, she took a break ♪ 721 00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:49,240 ♪ Made a mistake, when she met Trevor ♪ 722 00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:52,920 ♪ Get lost forever ♪ 723 00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:56,040 ♪ Get lost forever ♪ 724 00:31:56,240 --> 00:32:01,440 ♪ Get lost forever ♪ 725 00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:02,880 ♪ You think I'm pretty ♪ 726 00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:05,200 ♪ You think I'm pretty cool ♪ 727 00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:06,400 ♪ You want to fuck me ♪ 728 00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:08,640 ♪ I know most people do ♪ 729 00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:10,120 ♪ Here, take this packet ♪ 730 00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:12,160 ♪ You read it, it says, "Mangetout" ♪ 731 00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:13,760 ♪ I gave you magic beans ♪ 732 00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:15,720 ♪ I hope you're gonna get out soon ♪ 733 00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:19,240 ♪ I really hope you're gonna get out soon ♪ 734 00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:22,800 ♪ Oh, man, I hope you're gonna get out soon ♪ 735 00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:26,320 ♪ I really hope you're gonna get out soon ♪ 736 00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:31,120 ♪ I know you're up at night ♪ 737 00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:34,680 ♪ Hunched over your phone like ♪ 738 00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:37,120 ♪ A tree atop a hill ♪ 739 00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:41,760 ♪ That's crooked from the wind that bites ♪ 740 00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:45,360 ♪ You say you're lost at sea ♪ 741 00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:49,080 ♪ Call the RNLI ♪ 742 00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:52,160 ♪ You're washed up, irrelevant, ♪ 743 00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:56,240 ♪ And standing in my light ♪ 744 00:32:56,440 --> 00:32:59,720 ♪ You're standing in my light ♪ 745 00:32:59,920 --> 00:33:03,200 ♪ You're standing in my light ♪ 746 00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:06,360 ♪ You're standing in my light ♪ 747 00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:09,160 ♪ ♪ 748 00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:10,560 ♪ You think I'm pretty ♪ 749 00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:12,720 ♪ And you think I'm pretty cool ♪ 750 00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:14,000 ♪ You say I scare ya ♪ 751 00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:16,200 ♪ I know most people do ♪ 752 00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:19,720 ♪ This is the real world, honey, bienvenue ♪ 753 00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:21,320 ♪ In spite of everything ♪ 754 00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:23,760 ♪ I guess there's just no getting through ♪ 755 00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:27,200 ♪ Nice try, get out of the way ♪ 756 00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:30,000 ♪ Good job, just take a fucking hint ♪ 757 00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:31,240 ♪ I said I'll see ya, ♪ 758 00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:32,920 ♪ Wouldn't wanna be ya, ♪ 759 00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:36,720 ♪ Be ya, eh-ya eh-ya, ah-ah ♪ 760 00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:40,720 ♪ Nice try, get out the way ♪ 761 00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:42,560 ♪ You're in our way ♪ 762 00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:44,640 ♪ Get lost forever ♪ 763 00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:49,680 [applause, cheers] 764 00:33:56,600 --> 00:33:59,520 [upbeat music] 765 00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:03,520 ♪ ♪ 766 00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:10,480 [upbeat music] 767 00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:17,440 ♪ ♪ 768 00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:23,400 It's Weekend Update with Ania Magliano and Paddy Young. 769 00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:31,360 Good evening and welcome to Weekend Update. 770 00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:32,360 I'm Paddy Young. 771 00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:33,920 And I'm Ania Magliano. 772 00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:41,960 Coming up on tonight's Weekend Update, pedophilia. 773 00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:46,200 But first, war. 774 00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:49,480 Yesterday, in a shock U-turn, Keir Starmer finally 775 00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:51,680 gave his consent for President Trump 776 00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:55,160 to use British bases to protect the Strait of Hormuz, at which 777 00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:57,160 point Trump said, "Consent? 778 00:34:57,360 --> 00:34:58,920 Now you've taken all the fun out of it." 779 00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:04,840 As Iranian strikes continue to hit Dubai, 780 00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:06,560 the cost of chartering a private jet 781 00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:09,040 has risen so high that many influencers 782 00:35:09,240 --> 00:35:10,960 have been struggling to flee. 783 00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:13,800 I must stress, though, it's not all good news. 784 00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:20,920 If any influencers are killed-- and again, 785 00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:23,680 we can only hope they are-- 786 00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:25,280 at least they'll be easy to identify 787 00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:27,000 by their dental records. 788 00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:30,600 Say, the massive white ones made in Turkey. 789 00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:31,960 You got to feel for them. 790 00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:33,480 They went there to evade income tax 791 00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:36,960 and now they have to evade incoming attacks. 792 00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:39,200 We're now three weeks into the Iran war, 793 00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:40,880 which started with the death of one 794 00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:42,800 Ayatollah Khomeini and the appointment 795 00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:44,440 of another Ayatollah Khomeini. 796 00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:46,680 Khomeini II, but one's dead now. 797 00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:54,760 OK. 798 00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:57,400 Not everyone in NATO wants to get involved. 799 00:35:57,600 --> 00:36:00,000 German Defense Minister Boris Pistorius 800 00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:03,160 said there would be no military participation from Germany. 801 00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:09,080 Where was this energy in 1939? 802 00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:14,080 Also, is there a more evil name than Boris Pistorius? 803 00:36:14,280 --> 00:36:15,200 How do you do? 804 00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:16,840 The name's Saddam Walliams. 805 00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:24,520 The head of the Asian Football Confederation said 806 00:36:24,720 --> 00:36:28,080 this week that Iran is still set to play at the upcoming 807 00:36:28,280 --> 00:36:31,160 World Cup in America if Iran does take part, 808 00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:33,840 America has guaranteed that all of their matches 809 00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:35,480 will be refereed by a completely 810 00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:38,080 impartial MQ-9 Reaper drone. 811 00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:43,760 We all know the supply of oil has been affected by this war, 812 00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:45,480 but the Strait of Hormuz is also 813 00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:48,280 the primary route for a third of the world's helium. 814 00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:50,640 A spokesperson for the helium industry said-- 815 00:36:58,560 --> 00:36:59,600 We've run out of helium. 816 00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:11,640 With pressure mounting to secure the Strait of Hormuz and 817 00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:14,560 the Royal Navy almost completely out of action, 818 00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:16,200 the government have decided to send 819 00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:20,040 in the only British Naval captain who's ready to go. 820 00:37:20,240 --> 00:37:22,600 Please welcome Captain Birdseye. 821 00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:24,040 [applause] 822 00:37:24,240 --> 00:37:25,000 Yar! 823 00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:26,880 Yar! 824 00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:29,720 Evening, me hearties. 825 00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:31,560 Now, captain, I think the question 826 00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:35,600 a lot of people at home are asking 827 00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:39,080 is, why is the government sending a fish finger 828 00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:41,520 man to a red hot war zone? 829 00:37:41,720 --> 00:37:43,280 Fish finger man? 830 00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:46,040 I am the purveyor of the finest fish fingers in the land. 831 00:37:46,240 --> 00:37:49,720 Succulent cod fillets in a perfectly crispy golden crumb. 832 00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:51,720 Only the best for the captain's table. 833 00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:53,200 Fish finger? 834 00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:54,560 Captain Birdseye, can I remind you, 835 00:37:54,760 --> 00:37:56,240 this is a military operation. 836 00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:57,320 Exactly. 837 00:37:57,520 --> 00:38:00,200 Preparation, timing, control. 838 00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:04,280 Six minutes one side, turn, six minutes the other. 839 00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:07,280 Now that's what I call a proper fish finger. 840 00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:08,880 Fish finger? 841 00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:10,600 You're about to be deployed to Iran. 842 00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:12,600 Can you stop banging on about fish fingers? 843 00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:16,080 Fine, we also do chicken dippers, 844 00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:18,480 potato waffles, and for some reason, the devil only 845 00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:20,120 knows, peas. 846 00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:23,400 Captain, there are real lives at stake here. 847 00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:26,440 Oh, you want to get real, do you, 848 00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:28,840 you scurvy little deck rat? 849 00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:30,640 All right, answer me this. 850 00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:33,720 You think I spent the last five decades sailing around 851 00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:37,680 in 150-foot schooner with 300 singing children just 852 00:38:37,880 --> 00:38:39,440 to sell fish fingers, do ye? 853 00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:41,920 I'm sorry, did you say 300 singing children? 854 00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:43,520 Cause I'll tell you what's real, 855 00:38:43,720 --> 00:38:46,560 you bilge drinking haddock. 856 00:38:46,760 --> 00:38:49,160 What's real is the nation's favorite fish fingers 857 00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:51,800 are just a cover for my actual work. 858 00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:54,280 Special Forces Black Ops savagery that 859 00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:56,000 would haunt your dreams. 860 00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:59,120 What's real is opening up a Serbian mercenary's neck 861 00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:00,640 with a machete. 862 00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:03,640 Watching it yawn open, hot and steaming, 863 00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:06,280 like a split fish finger. 864 00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:07,520 This is insane. 865 00:39:07,720 --> 00:39:08,640 Insane? 866 00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:11,920 I'll show you insane! 867 00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:13,400 Are those human fingers? 868 00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:17,680 Only the best for the captain's table! 869 00:39:17,880 --> 00:39:19,440 Captain Birdseye, everyone. 870 00:39:19,640 --> 00:39:20,960 Never meet your heroes! 871 00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:26,000 [applause] 872 00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:29,120 Renovations to Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor's new home, 873 00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:32,240 Marsh Farm, have been taking place over the last month, 874 00:39:32,440 --> 00:39:35,560 including the installation of Sky TV. 875 00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:39,120 So if you're watching, Andrew, hello. 876 00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:41,680 You're not going to like this next bit. 877 00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:43,480 Also, I'm older than I look. 878 00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:51,880 Andrew's new residence, Marsh Farm 879 00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:53,760 is, of course, named after the nearby marsh 880 00:39:53,960 --> 00:39:56,560 where his body will be found. 881 00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:02,320 It was reported this week that the police investigation 882 00:40:02,520 --> 00:40:04,400 into Andrew is set to widen. 883 00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:06,200 The big question now is, if Andrew 884 00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:08,840 is charged, found guilty, and put in prison, 885 00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:10,840 will he be able to keep his mouth shut? 886 00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:13,200 I hope not, said his cellmate's penis. 887 00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:24,360 Conservative leader Kemi Badenoch told Times Radio that 888 00:40:24,560 --> 00:40:26,600 she would confront a shoplifter if they were, 889 00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:29,600 quote, "not too big." 890 00:40:29,800 --> 00:40:31,640 So rest assured, if you shoplift and 891 00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:35,480 Kemi does try to stop you, it means she thinks you're skinny. 892 00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:40,360 In showbiz news, feuding father and son David and 893 00:40:40,560 --> 00:40:42,560 Brooklyn Beckham narrowly miss each other whilst 894 00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:44,600 at the same Beverly Hills Hotel. 895 00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:46,920 The feud began when Victoria was, quote, 896 00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:49,760 "inappropriately close with her son at his wedding" 897 00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:51,720 and escalated after Brooklyn accidentally 898 00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:54,240 yelled out his wife's name during sex with his mom. 899 00:41:05,240 --> 00:41:08,000 The award-winning TV series "It's a Sin" 900 00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:11,120 is set to be adapted for the stage as a dance show. 901 00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:14,400 As if a TV show about the AIDS crisis could get any gayer. 902 00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:21,080 Tonight, the K-pop band BTS are launching 903 00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:22,680 their new world tour. 904 00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:26,960 My worry is, with 82 dates across 23 countries, 905 00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:29,120 the stress of the tour is going to put a strain on Jimin 906 00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:30,800 and V's soulmate relationship. 907 00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:34,040 Sure, J-hope nurtures Suga's inner child, 908 00:41:34,240 --> 00:41:36,520 but will Jimin's teasing of Suga make V jealous? 909 00:41:36,720 --> 00:41:39,000 And can RM give enough skinship to Baby Jungkook 910 00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:40,800 while melting at J-hope's laugh? 911 00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:43,000 Will his dimples still be popping at Jimin's cuteness 912 00:41:43,200 --> 00:41:45,920 after an 82 date tour? 913 00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:47,600 No idea. 914 00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:50,600 I'm not really that into BTS. 915 00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:52,520 For Weekend Update, I'm Ania Magliano. 916 00:41:52,720 --> 00:41:53,520 And I'm Paddy Young. 917 00:41:53,720 --> 00:41:55,240 Good night! 918 00:41:55,440 --> 00:42:02,080 [applause, cheers] 919 00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:05,680 [upbeat music] 920 00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:10,680 ♪ ♪ 921 00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:19,080 [upbeat music] 922 00:42:19,280 --> 00:42:26,120 ♪ ♪ 923 00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:33,000 [soft music] 924 00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:35,240 Please be safe in London, Will. 925 00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:37,320 Nay, worry not, wife. 926 00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:39,600 I will be nothing but safe. 927 00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:42,640 For all I will think of is returning to thee 928 00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:46,920 and our boy Hamnet. 929 00:42:47,120 --> 00:42:48,480 What about our daughters? 930 00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:51,080 I must away. 931 00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:55,680 My production of "The Tempest," begins anon. 932 00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:56,720 Adieu! 933 00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:02,120 [soft music] 934 00:43:02,320 --> 00:43:09,160 ♪ ♪ 935 00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:12,080 "Tempest" was a hit. 936 00:43:14,120 --> 00:43:19,160 Methinks I might write another of these plays. 937 00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:21,360 Will, thou art returned! 938 00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:23,520 Did I not tell thee I would? 939 00:43:23,720 --> 00:43:27,280 But hast thou nothing to say? 940 00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:29,920 I have sorely missed thee. 941 00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:31,720 Likewise, my dear wife, likewise. 942 00:43:31,920 --> 00:43:36,120 But dost thou not think I appear changed? 943 00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:41,280 Tis hard to fix my eyes on anything 944 00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:43,600 for the blood that doth course in mine veins 945 00:43:43,800 --> 00:43:45,720 on the sweet return of thee to me. 946 00:43:45,920 --> 00:43:47,600 Mm, ye, really look at me, though. 947 00:43:50,240 --> 00:43:51,840 What vexes thee? 948 00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:53,880 I got a cunty little earring. 949 00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:00,080 Ah, so it is. 950 00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:01,480 The hour is upon me. 951 00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:03,800 I must to London! 952 00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:08,600 My staging of "Macbeth" awaiteth. 953 00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:13,760 Well, Will, I will wait upon thy return. 954 00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:16,720 [soft music] 955 00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:23,760 ♪ ♪ 956 00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:30,480 William, thou art returned. 957 00:44:30,680 --> 00:44:34,160 Good day, wife. 958 00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:36,000 Good day, Hamnet. 959 00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:46,400 Will, how London hath changed thee. 960 00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:50,200 Come, wife, let me sit and put my feet up. 961 00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:54,160 What art thou wearing? 962 00:44:54,360 --> 00:44:57,520 Oh, dislike it? 963 00:44:57,720 --> 00:44:59,360 'Tis me slutty little chain. 964 00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:06,800 'Tis all the rage in London. 965 00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:08,600 I must, to London. 966 00:45:10,840 --> 00:45:13,240 My next staging awaits-- 967 00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:15,720 "Henry IV part two." 968 00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:17,000 Henry V! 969 00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:19,720 [laughter] 970 00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:24,400 Let not London change thee too much. 971 00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:27,880 [soft music] 972 00:45:28,080 --> 00:45:30,720 ♪ ♪ 973 00:45:30,920 --> 00:45:33,720 [birds chirping] 974 00:45:33,920 --> 00:45:37,160 [digital chirping] 975 00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:39,600 Well, thy father have returneth. 976 00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:44,440 Hause! 977 00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:48,200 Whew. 978 00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:49,960 Hey, family! 979 00:45:52,240 --> 00:45:56,200 Will, mine eyes do not recognize thee. 980 00:45:56,400 --> 00:45:58,680 Girl, 'tis me, bitch! 981 00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:02,720 Will, thou art a different man. 982 00:46:02,920 --> 00:46:03,760 Peace, wife. 983 00:46:03,960 --> 00:46:05,600 I be Shakespeare. 984 00:46:05,800 --> 00:46:07,400 The remix be Troye Sivan. 985 00:46:07,600 --> 00:46:09,600 [laughs] 986 00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:11,760 Tis not thee, Will. 987 00:46:11,960 --> 00:46:14,200 'Tis so, bitch. 988 00:46:14,400 --> 00:46:15,880 Thou art in Stratford-upon-Avon. 989 00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:18,080 And I've been in London upon ketamine. 990 00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:25,200 I'm like Charli XCX-- sorry, Charlie 10, 100, 10. 991 00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:31,120 [strongly inhales] I'm in my glow era-- in my glow-- 992 00:46:31,320 --> 00:46:34,080 I'm in my glow-up era, honey. 993 00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:35,240 What's an era? 994 00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:37,280 We are in one, bitch. 995 00:46:37,480 --> 00:46:40,680 Mine! 996 00:46:40,880 --> 00:46:42,360 My wife, I bring gifts. 997 00:46:42,560 --> 00:46:46,680 This is called a tote bag. 998 00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:48,720 I want that not. 999 00:46:51,480 --> 00:46:54,040 Wig, my girl. 1000 00:46:54,240 --> 00:46:58,280 Thoust look cunty, for sure. 1001 00:46:58,480 --> 00:47:00,640 What does this c-word mean? 1002 00:47:00,840 --> 00:47:01,640 Hmm. 1003 00:47:01,840 --> 00:47:03,440 Methinks I can explain. 1004 00:47:03,640 --> 00:47:05,520 It's not a bad word. 1005 00:47:05,720 --> 00:47:07,520 It's a good thing, a great thing. 1006 00:47:07,720 --> 00:47:09,160 It's bleached brows. 1007 00:47:09,360 --> 00:47:13,280 [laughs] It's the cast of "Desperate Housewives." 1008 00:47:13,480 --> 00:47:15,960 It's cabin crew, bald head on a woman, 1009 00:47:16,160 --> 00:47:17,480 the Elizabeth line, a thin woman 1010 00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:19,120 eating a big plate of meat. 1011 00:47:19,320 --> 00:47:22,160 It is as though riddles play upon thy tongue. 1012 00:47:22,360 --> 00:47:25,080 Thou art just gagged. 1013 00:47:25,280 --> 00:47:27,120 [laughter] 1014 00:47:27,320 --> 00:47:31,280 [gasps] Hamnet take the powder within your coin purse! 1015 00:47:31,480 --> 00:47:32,760 [thud] 1016 00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:34,160 [gasping] 1017 00:47:34,360 --> 00:47:36,240 [guttural screaming] 1018 00:47:38,640 --> 00:47:43,600 He'll be fine. 'Tis but a K-hole. 1019 00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:45,720 And you know what hitteth hard in the hole? 1020 00:47:45,920 --> 00:47:47,000 Rihanna, bitch. 1021 00:47:47,200 --> 00:47:48,560 [rihanna, "we found love"] 1022 00:47:48,760 --> 00:47:52,080 ♪ We found love in a hopeless place ♪ 1023 00:47:52,280 --> 00:47:55,720 ♪ We found love in a hopeless place ♪ 1024 00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:59,120 ♪ We found love in a hopeless place ♪ 1025 00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:02,760 ♪ We found love in a hopeless place ♪ 1026 00:48:02,960 --> 00:48:04,960 ♪ We found love in a hopeless ♪ 1027 00:48:07,160 --> 00:48:10,080 [upbeat music] 1028 00:48:10,280 --> 00:48:16,000 ♪ ♪ 1029 00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:23,400 [upbeat music] 1030 00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:28,280 ♪ ♪ 1031 00:48:28,480 --> 00:48:30,720 [lighthearted music] 1032 00:48:30,920 --> 00:48:33,440 You've seen the film. 1033 00:48:33,640 --> 00:48:35,800 You've heard the musical. 1034 00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:40,960 Now experience the experience, The Live 1035 00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:43,360 Paddington Bear Experience. 1036 00:48:43,560 --> 00:48:45,160 This is so exciting. 1037 00:48:45,360 --> 00:48:46,560 We can't believe we're actually going to meet Paddington, 1038 00:48:46,760 --> 00:48:47,920 aren't we? 1039 00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:50,240 We brought marmalade sandwiches! 1040 00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:51,960 It's Clara's hen do. 1041 00:48:52,160 --> 00:48:54,080 And we got banned from Magic Mike 1042 00:48:54,280 --> 00:48:57,040 because Liz kept groping Magic Mike. 1043 00:48:57,240 --> 00:48:58,520 [laughs] Watch out, Paddington. 1044 00:48:58,720 --> 00:48:59,960 [laughs] 1045 00:49:00,160 --> 00:49:02,880 I can't wait to meet that little bear. 1046 00:49:03,080 --> 00:49:04,160 [lighthearted orchestra music] 1047 00:49:04,360 --> 00:49:08,600 Welcome to 32 Windsor Garden. 1048 00:49:08,800 --> 00:49:12,200 At London's most immersive experience, 1049 00:49:12,400 --> 00:49:15,640 get closer to Paddington than ever before. 1050 00:49:15,840 --> 00:49:21,080 Now, who here would like to meet a very rare sort of bear? 1051 00:49:21,280 --> 00:49:22,720 ALL: Yay! 1052 00:49:22,920 --> 00:49:24,080 Janet! 1053 00:49:24,280 --> 00:49:25,480 Open the cage! 1054 00:49:25,680 --> 00:49:28,120 A place where memories last forever. 1055 00:49:28,320 --> 00:49:29,640 [meta l bangs] 1056 00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:34,000 [suspenseful music] 1057 00:49:34,200 --> 00:49:36,880 Paddington? 1058 00:49:37,080 --> 00:49:38,320 [screaming] 1059 00:49:38,520 --> 00:49:39,360 All right! 1060 00:49:39,560 --> 00:49:41,200 Oh, why! 1061 00:49:41,400 --> 00:49:42,720 [roaring] 1062 00:49:42,920 --> 00:49:44,200 [screaming] 1063 00:49:44,400 --> 00:49:46,160 [items crashing] 1064 00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:47,600 Ah! 1065 00:49:47,800 --> 00:49:48,600 Fine! 1066 00:49:48,800 --> 00:49:49,920 Take the sandwich. 1067 00:49:50,120 --> 00:49:51,200 Take the sandwich! 1068 00:49:51,400 --> 00:49:53,640 Why did we hire a real bear? 1069 00:49:53,840 --> 00:49:55,920 Well, I know we wanted to hire the little actress 1070 00:49:56,120 --> 00:49:58,800 from the musical, but she wanted too much money. 1071 00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:01,040 And I had seen the bear in something. 1072 00:50:01,240 --> 00:50:02,040 He was amazing. 1073 00:50:02,240 --> 00:50:03,000 What was it? 1074 00:50:03,200 --> 00:50:06,440 [screaming] 1075 00:50:06,640 --> 00:50:08,280 [roaring] 1076 00:50:08,480 --> 00:50:09,880 [screaming] 1077 00:50:11,360 --> 00:50:13,480 The zoo, I had seen him at the zoo. 1078 00:50:13,680 --> 00:50:15,600 [whimsical music] 1079 00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:17,040 That was amazing. 1080 00:50:17,240 --> 00:50:19,160 Yeah, well, I've lost half my face. 1081 00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:20,560 But I have made some memories. 1082 00:50:20,760 --> 00:50:21,920 [laughs] 1083 00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:25,000 None of that happened in the films. 1084 00:50:25,200 --> 00:50:27,800 That was a lot more blood than I thought there'd be. 1085 00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:29,680 And at Paddington's photo booth, 1086 00:50:29,880 --> 00:50:33,120 we'll be sure to capture all of the magic. 1087 00:50:33,320 --> 00:50:35,120 Well, I was actually on a terrible date, 1088 00:50:35,320 --> 00:50:37,960 but let's just say I didn't need to ask for Angela. 1089 00:50:38,160 --> 00:50:39,160 I asked for Paddington. 1090 00:50:39,360 --> 00:50:41,560 [screaming] 1091 00:50:41,760 --> 00:50:45,120 "The Guardian" calls it "truly unforgettable." 1092 00:50:45,320 --> 00:50:46,800 They said he likes marmalade. 1093 00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:48,520 He doesn't like marmalade. 1094 00:50:48,720 --> 00:50:51,640 He likes human hands. 1095 00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:53,400 Marcus? 1096 00:50:53,600 --> 00:50:56,160 I've always thought that three kids was a bit too many. 1097 00:50:56,360 --> 00:50:58,200 And now I've got the optimum amount. 1098 00:51:00,280 --> 00:51:01,680 None. 1099 00:51:01,880 --> 00:51:04,640 "The Stage" says, "Inarguably immersive." 1100 00:51:04,840 --> 00:51:06,120 Do I have any regrets? 1101 00:51:06,320 --> 00:51:09,400 Well, you know, in retrospect, maybe hot glue 1102 00:51:09,600 --> 00:51:10,960 gunning the hat to the bear's head 1103 00:51:11,160 --> 00:51:13,560 may have made it more angry. 1104 00:51:13,760 --> 00:51:15,360 [screaming] 1105 00:51:15,560 --> 00:51:17,760 I'm taking it to Broadway, regardless. 1106 00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:22,120 The Live Paddington Bear Experience, book before June 25 1107 00:51:22,320 --> 00:51:23,880 and get a free tetanus jab. 1108 00:51:25,800 --> 00:51:26,840 Found a foot. 1109 00:51:27,040 --> 00:51:28,520 Has anyone lost a foot? 1110 00:51:28,720 --> 00:51:31,120 No? 1111 00:51:31,320 --> 00:51:32,600 [metal vibrating] 1112 00:51:32,800 --> 00:51:35,040 [applause] 1113 00:51:35,240 --> 00:51:37,440 Once again, Wet Leg. 1114 00:51:37,640 --> 00:51:39,440 [applause] 1115 00:51:39,640 --> 00:51:42,440 [wet leg, "catch these fists"] 1116 00:51:42,640 --> 00:51:49,480 ♪ ♪ 1117 00:51:54,360 --> 00:51:57,840 ♪ Can you catch a medicine ball? ♪ 1118 00:51:58,040 --> 00:52:01,080 ♪ Can you catch yourself when you fall? ♪ 1119 00:52:01,280 --> 00:52:02,600 ♪ You should be careful ♪ 1120 00:52:02,800 --> 00:52:04,160 ♪ Do you catch my drift? ♪ 1121 00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:05,840 ♪ 'Cause what I really want to know is ♪ 1122 00:52:06,040 --> 00:52:08,560 ♪ Can you catch these fists ♪ 1123 00:52:08,760 --> 00:52:13,520 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Yeah, yeah, ♪ 1124 00:52:13,720 --> 00:52:15,280 ♪ Man down ♪ 1125 00:52:15,480 --> 00:52:20,200 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 1126 00:52:20,400 --> 00:52:22,280 ♪ Level up! ♪ 1127 00:52:22,480 --> 00:52:24,520 ♪ I know all too well ♪ 1128 00:52:24,720 --> 00:52:29,360 ♪ Just what you're like ♪ 1129 00:52:29,560 --> 00:52:31,560 ♪ I don't want your love ♪ 1130 00:52:31,760 --> 00:52:34,240 ♪ I just wanna fight ♪ 1131 00:52:34,440 --> 00:52:40,040 ♪ ♪ 1132 00:52:40,240 --> 00:52:43,600 ♪ We're on our way to the club ♪ 1133 00:52:43,800 --> 00:52:47,280 ♪ Stupid is as stupid does ♪ 1134 00:52:47,480 --> 00:52:50,880 ♪ Limousine, racking up ♪ 1135 00:52:51,080 --> 00:52:53,360 ♪ Ketamine, giddy up ♪ 1136 00:52:53,560 --> 00:52:57,080 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, ♪ 1137 00:52:57,280 --> 00:52:59,320 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ♪ 1138 00:52:59,520 --> 00:53:01,320 ♪ Man down ♪ 1139 00:53:01,520 --> 00:53:03,320 ♪ Yeah, yeah, ♪ 1140 00:53:03,520 --> 00:53:06,760 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 1141 00:53:06,960 --> 00:53:08,160 ♪ Level up! ♪ 1142 00:53:08,360 --> 00:53:10,400 ♪ I know all too well ♪ 1143 00:53:10,600 --> 00:53:15,120 ♪ Just what you're like ♪ 1144 00:53:15,320 --> 00:53:17,320 ♪ I don't want your love ♪ 1145 00:53:17,520 --> 00:53:20,040 ♪ I just wanna fight ♪ 1146 00:53:20,240 --> 00:53:25,520 ♪ ♪ 1147 00:53:25,720 --> 00:53:26,520 ♪ He don't get puss ♪ 1148 00:53:26,720 --> 00:53:27,960 ♪ He get the boot ♪ 1149 00:53:28,160 --> 00:53:29,400 ♪ I saw him sippin' on dark fruit ♪ 1150 00:53:29,600 --> 00:53:30,960 ♪ This always happens late at night ♪ 1151 00:53:31,160 --> 00:53:32,000 ♪ Some guy comes up, ♪ 1152 00:53:32,200 --> 00:53:33,240 ♪ Says I'm his type ♪ 1153 00:53:33,240 --> 00:53:34,600 ♪ I just threw up in my mouth ♪ 1154 00:53:34,800 --> 00:53:36,440 ♪ When he just tried to ask me out ♪ 1155 00:53:36,640 --> 00:53:38,040 ♪ Don't approach me ♪ 1156 00:53:38,240 --> 00:53:39,520 ♪ I just want to dance with my friends ♪ 1157 00:53:39,720 --> 00:53:44,440 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 1158 00:53:44,640 --> 00:53:46,840 ♪ Man down ♪ 1159 00:53:47,040 --> 00:53:52,160 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 1160 00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:53,240 ♪ Level up! ♪ 1161 00:53:53,240 --> 00:53:55,480 ♪ I know all too well ♪ 1162 00:53:55,680 --> 00:54:00,720 ♪ Just what you're like ♪ 1163 00:54:00,920 --> 00:54:02,960 ♪ I don't want your love ♪ 1164 00:54:03,160 --> 00:54:07,800 ♪ I just wanna fight ♪ 1165 00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:10,080 ♪ I know all too well ♪ 1166 00:54:10,280 --> 00:54:14,680 ♪ Just what you're like ♪ 1167 00:54:14,880 --> 00:54:17,040 ♪ I don't want your love ♪ 1168 00:54:17,240 --> 00:54:18,120 ♪ I just wanna fight! ♪ 1169 00:54:18,320 --> 00:54:25,200 ♪ ♪ 1170 00:54:30,080 --> 00:54:33,520 ♪ Man down ♪ 1171 00:54:33,720 --> 00:54:37,080 [applause, cheers] 1172 00:54:39,520 --> 00:54:42,440 [upbeat music] 1173 00:54:42,640 --> 00:54:47,960 ♪ ♪ 1174 00:54:53,920 --> 00:54:57,400 [upbeat music] 1175 00:54:57,600 --> 00:55:01,360 ♪ ♪ 1176 00:55:04,360 --> 00:55:06,160 Four things, thank you. 1177 00:55:16,200 --> 00:55:21,840 Ugh, Jane, look at you, divorced, haggy, alone. 1178 00:55:22,040 --> 00:55:25,680 What a sad little life, Jane. 1179 00:55:25,880 --> 00:55:27,000 Fancy a bra fitting? 1180 00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:30,480 Uh, sure, yeah. 1181 00:55:30,680 --> 00:55:32,600 I've actually lost a ton of weight-- 1182 00:55:32,800 --> 00:55:33,800 Oh, good for you. 1183 00:55:34,000 --> 00:55:36,120 due to immense stress. 1184 00:55:36,320 --> 00:55:37,360 I have a bad life. 1185 00:55:37,560 --> 00:55:38,880 I'm sorry to hear that. 1186 00:55:39,080 --> 00:55:40,400 Well, I'm just going to do round your top. 1187 00:55:40,600 --> 00:55:41,400 OK? 1188 00:55:41,600 --> 00:55:42,760 So here we go. 1189 00:55:42,960 --> 00:55:43,760 We've got the middle. 1190 00:55:43,960 --> 00:55:45,120 That's 38 inches. 1191 00:55:45,320 --> 00:55:47,920 So, yeah, that's quite wide. 1192 00:55:48,120 --> 00:55:52,600 And cup size, that's a B, so it's small. 1193 00:55:52,800 --> 00:55:53,800 You're not happy with that? 1194 00:55:54,000 --> 00:55:55,120 Oh, no. 1195 00:55:55,320 --> 00:55:58,360 38B, that's not exactly a sexy bra size. 1196 00:55:58,560 --> 00:55:59,840 It feels, kind of, schlubby. 1197 00:56:00,040 --> 00:56:02,240 Oh. 1198 00:56:02,440 --> 00:56:04,640 Would you like me to zhuzh? 1199 00:56:04,840 --> 00:56:06,080 Huh? 1200 00:56:06,280 --> 00:56:09,760 Zhuzh it up a bit for the surrounds. 1201 00:56:09,960 --> 00:56:11,120 What does that mean. 1202 00:56:11,320 --> 00:56:13,680 A zhuzh for the surrounds. 1203 00:56:13,880 --> 00:56:15,400 Right, OK. 1204 00:56:15,600 --> 00:56:17,960 So I come back in, and I zhuzh, right? 1205 00:56:18,160 --> 00:56:22,680 I very loudly make a point of how big your bra size is. 1206 00:56:22,880 --> 00:56:26,600 Theys out there don't know what you really measured as. 1207 00:56:26,800 --> 00:56:28,280 Wink, wink. [laughs] 1208 00:56:28,480 --> 00:56:29,520 Is that a British thing? 1209 00:56:29,720 --> 00:56:30,640 It is a thing. 1210 00:56:32,360 --> 00:56:33,320 Do you want give it a go? 1211 00:56:33,520 --> 00:56:34,600 It is a free service. 1212 00:56:34,800 --> 00:56:36,520 Sure. 1213 00:56:36,720 --> 00:56:37,520 Won't be long, ladies. 1214 00:56:37,720 --> 00:56:38,720 I'm just doing a fitting. 1215 00:56:38,920 --> 00:56:40,600 Oh, my goodness! 1216 00:56:40,800 --> 00:56:42,320 Wow! 1217 00:56:42,520 --> 00:56:45,720 These are going to measure up nicely! 1218 00:56:45,920 --> 00:56:47,680 So we're going to start with the width. 1219 00:56:47,880 --> 00:56:51,480 Very petite, but your cup size is-- 1220 00:56:51,680 --> 00:56:52,760 Big? 1221 00:56:52,960 --> 00:56:54,920 Big cup size, right? 1222 00:56:55,120 --> 00:56:58,000 Oh, crikey, yeah, they've got a real weight 1223 00:56:58,200 --> 00:57:00,240 to them Oh, fantastic! 1224 00:57:00,440 --> 00:57:02,440 In fact, I'm surprised-- 1225 00:57:02,640 --> 00:57:03,680 You don't topple over. 1226 00:57:03,880 --> 00:57:04,800 You don't topple over. 1227 00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:06,240 With a great-- 1228 00:57:06,440 --> 00:57:07,440 BOTH: With a great big rack like that! 1229 00:57:07,640 --> 00:57:08,720 Love it. 1230 00:57:08,920 --> 00:57:10,120 Oh! 1231 00:57:10,320 --> 00:57:13,520 Oh, you nearly poked my eye out! 1232 00:57:13,720 --> 00:57:15,760 Hey, you've heard of Pinocchio? 1233 00:57:15,960 --> 00:57:20,200 Well, you're like that, but the nose is big, lovely bazombas. 1234 00:57:20,400 --> 00:57:21,560 That OK? - Yeah. 1235 00:57:21,760 --> 00:57:22,640 That's good. 1236 00:57:22,840 --> 00:57:23,920 [laughs] 1237 00:57:24,120 --> 00:57:25,200 So I'm happy to tell you-- what 1238 00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:26,560 size would you like, darling? 1239 00:57:26,760 --> 00:57:27,640 Big, but keep it classy. 1240 00:57:27,840 --> 00:57:29,080 Like, double D is good. 1241 00:57:29,280 --> 00:57:31,600 Oh, no, we're going bigger than that. 1242 00:57:31,800 --> 00:57:35,320 You're a gorgeous, petite, and perky 28G! 1243 00:57:37,760 --> 00:57:41,440 What an absolute pair. 1244 00:57:41,640 --> 00:57:42,680 Now, how's that feel? 1245 00:57:42,880 --> 00:57:45,200 I feel amazing. 1246 00:57:45,400 --> 00:57:47,280 Thank you so much, Miss? 1247 00:57:47,480 --> 00:57:52,080 Jugs, they call me Jugs. 1248 00:57:52,280 --> 00:57:53,920 All right. 1249 00:57:54,120 --> 00:57:56,560 [exhales] Here we go. 1250 00:57:56,760 --> 00:57:59,560 Put these back on the rack, Jackie. 1251 00:57:59,760 --> 00:58:02,320 They were so far too small for this customers 1252 00:58:02,520 --> 00:58:05,080 great big bozzies. 1253 00:58:05,280 --> 00:58:07,400 Lovely tits you got there, Miss. 1254 00:58:09,760 --> 00:58:13,080 Jugs, wait. 1255 00:58:13,280 --> 00:58:15,720 Is there anything else that you could zhuzh for me, 1256 00:58:15,920 --> 00:58:18,000 like, for the surrounds? 1257 00:58:18,200 --> 00:58:20,160 'Cause my 2026 was, kind of, rough. 1258 00:58:20,360 --> 00:58:23,720 Like, basically, I was responsible for editing 1259 00:58:23,920 --> 00:58:26,880 this British film award ceremony and-- 1260 00:58:29,040 --> 00:58:32,600 Let's just say I did not get it right. 1261 00:58:32,800 --> 00:58:35,160 It's a zhuzh for the surrounds, darling, 1262 00:58:35,360 --> 00:58:38,200 not for the soul. 1263 00:58:38,400 --> 00:58:39,960 But you'll be all right with those 1264 00:58:40,160 --> 00:58:43,280 great big, wicked knockers. 1265 00:58:43,480 --> 00:58:44,560 Excuse me. 1266 00:58:44,760 --> 00:58:47,720 [applause] 1267 00:58:47,920 --> 00:58:49,680 Regé-Jean Page, what are you doing 1268 00:58:49,880 --> 00:58:51,360 in the women's changing rooms? 1269 00:58:51,560 --> 00:58:54,760 Oh, it's a long and sexy story. 1270 00:58:54,960 --> 00:58:57,120 Listen, I don't usually do this, 1271 00:58:57,320 --> 00:59:00,480 but can I buy you a drink on the fifth floor, 1272 00:59:00,680 --> 00:59:02,600 next to the baby clothes and electricals? 1273 00:59:02,800 --> 00:59:04,800 Sure, I could do that. 1274 00:59:08,800 --> 00:59:10,560 Thanks for changing my life. 1275 00:59:14,160 --> 00:59:16,280 Tiny, little tits. 1276 00:59:16,480 --> 00:59:17,240 They were small. 1277 00:59:17,440 --> 00:59:19,120 Those tits were small. 1278 00:59:19,320 --> 00:59:21,560 [applause, cheers] 1279 00:59:21,760 --> 00:59:24,400 45 seconds with Fouracres. 1280 00:59:24,600 --> 00:59:27,960 [lighthearted music] 1281 00:59:30,880 --> 00:59:34,960 ♪ What kind of Irish is your granddad? ♪ 1282 00:59:35,160 --> 00:59:38,000 ♪ What kind of Irish is your gramps? ♪ 1283 00:59:38,200 --> 00:59:39,000 ♪ Is he this? ♪ 1284 00:59:39,200 --> 00:59:40,600 I'm Anthony. 1285 00:59:40,800 --> 00:59:41,720 Which one of you little gobs threw a heap of fruits 1286 00:59:41,920 --> 00:59:43,280 at my window? 1287 00:59:43,480 --> 00:59:45,000 You better tell me. 'Cause I know your dad! 1288 00:59:45,200 --> 00:59:46,040 And I know your dad! 1289 00:59:46,240 --> 00:59:47,640 And I know your dad! 1290 00:59:47,840 --> 00:59:50,240 ♪ What kind of Irish is your granddad? ♪ 1291 00:59:50,440 --> 00:59:51,880 ♪ Is he this? ♪ 1292 00:59:52,080 --> 00:59:54,040 Now that's a picture of me back in '82, on the 12th 1293 00:59:54,240 --> 00:59:55,640 of the King William Lodge. 1294 00:59:55,840 --> 00:59:57,760 And there's another one, the Blue Lancers and a-- 1295 00:59:57,960 --> 01:00:00,600 ♪ What kind of Irish is your granddad? ♪ 1296 01:00:00,800 --> 01:00:01,960 ♪ Is he this? ♪ 1297 01:00:02,160 --> 01:00:03,480 I'll bring it around the back, hey. 1298 01:00:03,680 --> 01:00:04,760 Put on new shoes, and don't worry about it. 1299 01:00:04,960 --> 01:00:07,760 Hey, [mumbling] any man's back. 1300 01:00:07,960 --> 01:00:11,000 ♪ What kind of Irish is your granddad? ♪ 1301 01:00:11,200 --> 01:00:12,560 ♪ Is he this? ♪ 1302 01:00:12,760 --> 01:00:15,600 ♪ Tá Gráinne Mhaol ag teacht thar sáile, ♪ 1303 01:00:15,800 --> 01:00:17,600 ♪ Óglaigh armtha léi mar gharda ♪ 1304 01:00:17,800 --> 01:00:21,480 ♪ Gaeil iad féin is ní Gaill ná Spánnigh ♪ 1305 01:00:21,680 --> 01:00:24,800 ♪ Is cuirfidh siad ruaig ar Ghallaibh ♪ 1306 01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:27,280 ♪ Óró 'Sé do bheatha 'bhaile, ♪ 1307 01:00:27,480 --> 01:00:29,840 ♪ Óró 'Sé do bheatha 'bhaile ♪ 1308 01:00:30,040 --> 01:00:34,400 ♪ Óró 'Sé do bheatha 'bhaile, ♪ 1309 01:00:34,600 --> 01:00:38,120 ♪ Anois ar theacht an tsamhraidh! ♪ 1310 01:00:38,320 --> 01:00:39,200 Wow! 1311 01:00:41,520 --> 01:00:42,840 Wow! 1312 01:00:43,040 --> 01:00:45,440 Nicola Coughlan from the "Dairy Girls." 1313 01:00:45,640 --> 01:00:48,120 No, it's "Derry Girls." 1314 01:00:48,320 --> 01:00:50,760 It doesn't matter, Nicola Coughlan. 1315 01:00:50,960 --> 01:00:52,280 None of this is real. 1316 01:00:52,480 --> 01:00:53,280 Good night. 1317 01:00:53,480 --> 01:00:54,280 God bless. 1318 01:00:54,480 --> 01:00:55,760 Love you. 1319 01:00:55,960 --> 01:00:59,120 [laughs] 1320 01:00:59,320 --> 01:01:01,880 45 seconds with Fouracres. 1321 01:01:02,080 --> 01:01:04,920 [lighthearted music] 1322 01:01:06,720 --> 01:01:12,120 My biggest thanks to Wet Leg, Nicola Coughlan, Michael Cera, 1323 01:01:12,320 --> 01:01:14,760 Graham Norton, Regé-Jean Page and a huge 1324 01:01:14,960 --> 01:01:17,600 thank you to the cast, and the writers, 1325 01:01:17,800 --> 01:01:20,200 and everyone for welcoming me here and 1326 01:01:20,400 --> 01:01:22,160 making it such a great week. 1327 01:01:22,360 --> 01:01:23,280 Congratulations. 1328 01:01:23,480 --> 01:01:25,320 SNL UK is born! 1329 01:01:25,520 --> 01:01:28,360 [energetic music, applause] 1330 01:01:28,560 --> 01:01:31,120 ♪ ♪ 1331 01:02:32,560 --> 01:02:35,920 [audio logo]