1 00:00:05,047 --> 00:00:08,592 ♪ ("THE STARS AND STRIPES FOREVER" PLAYING) ♪ 2 00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:29,821 -♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -SAMUEL L. JACKSON: The year is 1773, 3 00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:33,367 and the original 13 colonies are in a state of unrest. 4 00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:35,452 Patrick Henry makes an impassioned speech 5 00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:36,662 in Virginia. 6 00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:39,748 "No taxation without representation." 7 00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:42,584 And in an act of protest against the British monarchy, 8 00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:45,379 a group of colonists disguised as Native Americans... 9 00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:49,758 -(INDISTINCT CLAMOR) -...dumped 342 chests of tea into Boston Harbor. 10 00:00:49,841 --> 00:00:53,887 And ever since, it's been called "The Boston Tea Party." 11 00:00:53,971 --> 00:00:57,432 (PROTESTERS CHEERING, LAUGHING) 12 00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:03,438 I gotta tell you, these Puritans are really getting on my nerves. 13 00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:04,480 Yeah. 14 00:01:04,522 --> 00:01:06,817 The other day, I'm holding hands with my wife, 15 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,611 this guy yells out, "Hey, nobody wants to see that." 16 00:01:09,653 --> 00:01:12,531 -He's kind of right. -Yeah, you know what? I think he is. 17 00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:14,366 -Mayflower people, right? -What's going on here? 18 00:01:14,449 --> 00:01:17,953 -Yeah, take that! Yeah! -(PROTESTERS CHEERING) 19 00:01:18,036 --> 00:01:19,663 They're protesting the Tea Act. 20 00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:21,873 Throwing the tea in the water, it's like a tea party. 21 00:01:21,957 --> 00:01:25,168 A tea party? Ha! No kidding. 22 00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:27,670 -COLONIAL MAN: Mm-hmm. Yeah. -Ah, that sounds like fun. 23 00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:30,674 -Let's do this! -Is that Michael Finney? 24 00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:33,093 -Indeed it is. -What a party! 25 00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:34,886 Kind of odd. I was with him the other day. 26 00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:37,681 He didn't mention anything about a... tea party. 27 00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:40,017 Everyone was talking about it the other night at Zachariah's. 28 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,310 You were at Zachariah's? 29 00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:44,187 -Y... Yeah. -Why wasn't I invited? 30 00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:46,940 I didn't know about Zachariah's. I'm missing a tea party? 31 00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:48,692 I... I don't know what to tell you. 32 00:01:48,734 --> 00:01:50,819 -You knew about this? -Kind of, yeah. 33 00:01:50,902 --> 00:01:55,032 Kind of? (SCOFFS) Do me a favor, hold this. Hey! 34 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,533 -Let's go, boys! -(PROTESTER GRUNTS) 35 00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:59,202 Finney! Hey, Finney! 36 00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:02,956 -(SIGHS) -LARRY DAVID: What's going on here? 37 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,082 Hey, Larry! 38 00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:05,876 -Nothing going on here. -LARRY: Nothing? 39 00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:07,753 MICHAEL FINNEY: How's Boston's favorite barrel maker? 40 00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:10,172 -LARRY: What are you doing? -Before you say anything, Larry, 41 00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:13,258 it's an impromptu, principled, symbolic protest. 42 00:02:13,342 --> 00:02:15,594 -You having a tea party? -It's not a party, Larry. 43 00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:18,764 I gotta tell you, Finney, it looks like a party to me. 44 00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:20,891 Look, the taxes are way too high on the tea. 45 00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:22,476 We decided to send a message to the British. 46 00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:24,269 This came together at the very last minute, Larry. 47 00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:26,563 Well, you discussed it at Zachariah's last night. 48 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:27,981 FINNEY: I don't know how you heard that, 49 00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:30,567 but it did start as a germ of an idea at Zachariah's. 50 00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,194 I saw you a couple of days ago. 51 00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:34,571 You didn't mention anything to me about a party, 52 00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:35,906 or Zachariah's, or anything. 53 00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:37,908 Am I supposed to tell you everywhere I go? 54 00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:39,242 I was at the cobbler's this morning. 55 00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:41,119 -You wanna come with me to the cobbler's? -There's a little bit 56 00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:42,704 of some subterfuge going on here. 57 00:02:42,788 --> 00:02:44,581 Finney, let's do it. Are we having a party or not? 58 00:02:44,623 --> 00:02:47,084 -Well, it's not a party. -I see Samuel Cooper's here. 59 00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:50,045 Oh, hey, La-- I... I heard you were out of town, so, uh... 60 00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:52,339 -Is that Joseph Warren? -Uh, hey, Larry. 61 00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,883 I sold you a barrel yesterday. You didn't mention anything. 62 00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:56,259 It... It didn't come up. 63 00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:57,761 You invite those guys and not me? 64 00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,429 I will invite you to the next one, I swear. 65 00:02:59,471 --> 00:03:02,057 You know there's not gonna be a next one as well as I do, so stop it. 66 00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:03,642 I didn't know you were down for the cause. 67 00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:05,102 -Why are you saying that? -No offense, Larry. 68 00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,770 You walk around wearing a red coat 69 00:03:06,812 --> 00:03:09,356 that is the exact same shade as the British soldiers. 70 00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:10,941 Please. That was a gift from my wife. 71 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,609 It's a beautiful coat. It's velvet. 72 00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:13,902 Have you ever felt that material? 73 00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:15,987 It's not a great look when we're fighting 74 00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:17,739 -the redcoats. -I'm not a redcoat. 75 00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:18,949 It's a red coat. 76 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,659 Are we never supposed to wear red again? 77 00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:23,286 Is that it? Is red over? Is red out of the question now? 78 00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:24,996 I think matching with our oppressors 79 00:03:25,079 --> 00:03:26,748 -is maybe not-- -So, we've canceled red? 80 00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:29,000 Maybe a red coat in a certain cut 81 00:03:29,084 --> 00:03:31,211 -is not the move right now. -Finney, honestly, 82 00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:32,671 I would've been a great addition to this. 83 00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:34,172 I didn't even know you liked tea. 84 00:03:34,256 --> 00:03:36,466 I don't like tea, I'm a coffee drinker. 85 00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:39,010 All the more reason to have me in this party. 86 00:03:39,094 --> 00:03:41,388 You have a bunch of tea lovers tossing tea. 87 00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:43,682 They're not even into it. I would be into tossing tea, 88 00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:44,975 'cause that's how much I dislike it. 89 00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:46,685 The next time we have a tea-tossing party, 90 00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:48,395 I know you're a champion tea tosser. 91 00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:51,648 And you're in costumes, too. That's the most disappointing aspect of this. 92 00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:52,733 You know that? 93 00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:54,109 -The costumes? -Yeah. 'Cause, oh my God, 94 00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:55,861 all the more reason to have invited me. 95 00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:56,945 Why more reason? 96 00:03:56,987 --> 00:03:58,905 Because I love putting on costumes, 97 00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:00,282 and being in disguise. 98 00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:02,659 You can act like a prick and nobody knows it's you. 99 00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:03,910 Yes, I've been to parties with you. 100 00:04:03,994 --> 00:04:05,036 I've seen you act like a prick. 101 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:06,329 -In a costume? Yes. 102 00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:07,330 -LARRY: Yeah. -Yep. 103 00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:09,207 I just really don't get why I wasn't invited. 104 00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:10,959 And don't tell me it's 'cause of the red jacket. 105 00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:13,420 I didn't invite you to the tea party, Larry, 106 00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:15,547 'cause you're a drag at every fucking party. 107 00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:16,714 You can't be serious. 108 00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:19,301 I always see you in the corner buttonholing someone 109 00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:20,802 -about some dumb shit. -LARRY: Buttonholing? 110 00:04:20,886 --> 00:04:23,346 -I'm the life of the party. -At Sam Adams's the other day, 111 00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:25,682 I saw you just going on and on about shoes. 112 00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:28,435 We have one set of shoes. One shoe fits on every foot. 113 00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:29,895 You were saying, "I think we should have 114 00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:31,688 left shoes and right shoes." 115 00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:34,065 -What are you talking about? -What am I talking about? 116 00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:36,651 -Have you ever looked at a foot? -The other thing at parties is, 117 00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:39,196 you're always going on and on about Indian women. 118 00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:41,031 Oh, am I attracted to Iroquois women? 119 00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:43,366 Yes, I am. So what? Is that a crime? 120 00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:45,034 Have I ever made out with an Iroquois? 121 00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,745 Yes, I have. And you know what? 122 00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:48,997 I found it to be a totally wonderful experience. 123 00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:50,874 -Congratulations, Larry. -LARRY: You know? And by the way, 124 00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:52,334 if you've ever made out with an Iroquois woman-- 125 00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:53,585 I've made out with Iroquois women, Larry. 126 00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:55,170 -You made out with an Iroquois woman? -That's not the issue. 127 00:04:55,253 --> 00:04:56,755 -Yeah, of course. -That's bullshit. 128 00:04:56,838 --> 00:04:58,715 -Yeah, I've got a girlfriend. I've got an Iroquois girlfriend. -LARRY: You have? 129 00:04:58,757 --> 00:04:59,841 -Yeah, where? -In Canada. 130 00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:01,384 -You wouldn't know her. -What bullshit! 131 00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:03,011 You don't have an Iroquois woman in Canada. 132 00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:04,930 Yeah, well, I don't stand around at trading posts 133 00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:07,599 staring at them. You just stare and you linger. 134 00:05:07,682 --> 00:05:10,101 Do your business. Sell your barrels. Get the fuck out. 135 00:05:10,185 --> 00:05:11,895 -Is that why you wanna be on this ship? -No. 136 00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:13,104 Don't let the headdresses fool you... 137 00:05:13,188 --> 00:05:14,731 -No, I know. -...there are no women on this boat. 138 00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:16,358 -I didn't suggest that there was. -And that's why 139 00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:17,943 you're not invited to the fucking party, Larry. 140 00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:19,402 Okay, come on. Let me come up the gangplank. 141 00:05:19,444 --> 00:05:21,071 No, no. You can't be on the gangplank, Larry. 142 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,365 -The gangplank's for the gang. -Why can't I be in the gang? 143 00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:24,741 Hey, Larry, if you're not in the gang, 144 00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,034 you really shouldn't be on the plank. 145 00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:29,329 I gave you a free barrel last year, you cocksucker! 146 00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:30,622 Guys, tea party's over. 147 00:05:30,705 --> 00:05:31,623 -What? -(GROANS) 148 00:05:31,706 --> 00:05:33,207 Yeah, Larry kind of fucked it. 149 00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:34,501 But there's so much tea left to throw. 150 00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:35,627 -Larry killed it. -LARRY: Come on. 151 00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:37,087 -Killed the vibe. -Great job, Larry. 152 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,630 -I did not. -Thanks a lot, Larry. 153 00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:42,175 Look at you idiots, dressed as Indians with your stupid feathers. 154 00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:43,760 You look like morons. 155 00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:45,762 Like I really buy you as Indians. 156 00:05:45,804 --> 00:05:47,639 So disappointed in all of you. 157 00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:49,099 I'll meet you at the tavern later, okay? 158 00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:51,601 Goodbye, Thompson. Drop dead, Slaughter. 159 00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:54,312 -The barrel had a leak. -That's bullshit. 160 00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:56,273 Oh, yeah, you're an Indian, Gilliam. 161 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:57,315 Thanks a lot, Larry. 162 00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:58,441 I'll be at the cobbler's tomorrow. 163 00:05:58,525 --> 00:05:59,901 Do you wanna be invited to the cobbler's? 164 00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:01,194 Do I need to tell you in advance? 165 00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:02,279 What morons! 166 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,531 I'm going up, and I'm gonna throw some. 167 00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:05,907 Knock yourself out, Larry. 168 00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:07,909 LARRY: Okay, I'm gonna go toss right now. 169 00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:09,327 Yeah, you're a real fucking champ at it. 170 00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:11,288 You'll see what real tossing looks like. 171 00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:12,831 I didn't even wanna be in your stupid gang. 172 00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:15,250 Guess what? I'm gonna form my own gang! 173 00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:16,793 We're not gonna dress up as Indians. 174 00:06:16,835 --> 00:06:18,670 You're gonna be so jealous. But you know what? 175 00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:20,797 This is what it's gonna look like. 176 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:24,551 Ho-ho! Look at me! Ooh! (LAUGHS) 177 00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:26,511 -♪ (MARCH MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -Hey! You there! 178 00:06:26,595 --> 00:06:28,638 -No. No, it's not my tea. -BRITISH OFFICER: What are you doing? 179 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:30,974 You're right, it's not your tea. It's His Majesty's tea. 180 00:06:31,016 --> 00:06:32,976 -No, no, no! It's Finney's tea. -Ha! 181 00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:35,395 -He had a tea party up here. -Sir, I don't know this man. 182 00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:37,689 I just know he's been screaming about gang activity, 183 00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:39,024 and how much he hates tea. 184 00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:41,151 No, no! You got the wrong guy. He's lying! 185 00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:43,361 It's Michael Finney's party! He didn't even invite me. 186 00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:45,113 -He's the one you should be arresting. -Come on. 187 00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:47,073 Finney! You... You know what? I have a red coat. 188 00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:48,158 A red coat just like you! 189 00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:51,077 ♪ (LIVELY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 190 00:06:56,791 --> 00:07:00,003 -(SLOW BLUES MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -JACKSON: For as long as slavery existed in the United States, 191 00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:02,464 there were slaves trying to escape to freedom. 192 00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:05,342 Many of them used the Underground Railroad. 193 00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:09,054 This railroad was a network of people, routes, and places 194 00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:10,513 offering shelter and aid 195 00:07:10,555 --> 00:07:13,141 to escaped enslaved people from the South. 196 00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:15,894 The journey north to freedom was dangerous, harrowing, 197 00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:17,771 and often life-threatening. 198 00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:20,190 But what no one considers 199 00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,525 are the hardships endured by the host. 200 00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:23,985 It's hard enough 201 00:07:24,069 --> 00:07:26,196 to live with your own family, 202 00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:27,948 much less a stranger. 203 00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:29,908 -♪ (LIGHT FOLKSY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -(KNOCKING ON DOOR) 204 00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:34,537 -(SIGHS) -LAWRENCE: Come in, please. 205 00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,873 -♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ -Oh, I made it. 206 00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:38,375 Yeah, nobody followed me. 207 00:07:38,457 --> 00:07:40,043 -Welcome to my home. -Hey. 208 00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:43,171 I hope you'll feel safe and secure here. 209 00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:45,173 -Hey, I'm Jonesey. -I'm Lawrence. 210 00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:46,591 -I'm almost free. -Yeah. 211 00:07:46,675 --> 00:07:47,801 I'm on the run, but hey, 212 00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:49,344 it feels good to be heading North. 213 00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:51,012 Tomorrow, you should be able 214 00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:52,514 -to cross the border. -Looking forward to it. 215 00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:54,391 -How was your journey? -Very rough. I've been running. 216 00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:56,351 -Dogs behind me, got horses behind me. -Oh, God. Oh! 217 00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:58,269 I was underwater in the swamp for 15 minutes. 218 00:07:58,353 --> 00:07:59,854 -Fifteen minutes? -Breathing through a straw. 219 00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:01,398 I could hear the muffled sounds of the dogs. 220 00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:03,566 -(IMITATES DOGS BARKING) -(GROANS) You poor guy. 221 00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:05,235 And I couldn't say "shut the fuck up" underwater. 222 00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:08,029 I had to, like, tell myself, "Don't say, 'Shut the fuck up,'" 223 00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:10,073 when it's obvious it's a "shut the fuck up" moment. 224 00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:12,367 Yeah, I got chased once by a, uh... 225 00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,577 -a billy goat. -Oh, wow. 226 00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,079 -He had it in for me for some reason. -Yeah. 227 00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,789 -Yeah. -I don't know why. I had to jump over a fence. 228 00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:19,582 That's not the same as fucking running for your fucking life, 229 00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:21,251 in-- underwater trying to fucking breathe 230 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,585 -with dogs all fucking barking and shit. -Yeah. 231 00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:23,962 You're trying to sit there and decide whether 232 00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:25,922 -you wanna say "shut the fuck up, dog" or not. -Yeah. I was just trying 233 00:08:25,964 --> 00:08:27,924 to relate to your experience in some way. 234 00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:30,468 Obviously, it's not as bad, but it wasn't pleasant, 235 00:08:30,552 --> 00:08:31,594 I can tell you that. 236 00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:33,096 Yeah, but that's a domesticated animal. 237 00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:34,264 Would he have carried you back 238 00:08:34,304 --> 00:08:35,765 and put you back in chains and shit? 239 00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:37,308 Would he say, "Get back to work," 240 00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:38,768 and threw your ass in the field? 241 00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:40,812 -All right, I take your point. -You should give me a fucking point. 242 00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:42,856 -Yeah, I take your point. -No, I took the point. 243 00:08:42,938 --> 00:08:44,858 -I said it first. -No, you didn't take the point, I took the point. 244 00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:48,445 -No, I took the point and I put that shit away. -I said I took the point first. 245 00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,238 You didn't take my point. You ain't gonna take shit from me. 246 00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:52,699 -I'm in possession of that fucking point. -Okay. Okay. You took the point. 247 00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:55,827 -Forget the point. -Okay. (SIGHS) You know... 248 00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:57,787 (SIGHS) ...I'm just excited to get up North 249 00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:59,789 and start tapping some of that Northern ass right there. 250 00:08:59,831 --> 00:09:01,082 You know, I've lived in the North. 251 00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:02,792 I gotta tell you, there wasn't much tapping 252 00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,252 going on. At least for me there wasn't. 253 00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:05,587 -Of course for you there wasn't. -Yeah. 254 00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:06,963 Some people are built for this shit. 255 00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:08,882 Okay, let's check this place out. 256 00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:10,467 -(SIGHS) -All right, well... 257 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,385 -JONESEY: Let's see this safe house. -LAWRENCE: Yeah. Yeah. 258 00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:14,345 -JONESEY: See what's going on here. Okay. -LAWRENCE: Yeah. 259 00:09:14,429 --> 00:09:16,014 -This is the living room. -Okay. 260 00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:17,474 -LAWRENCE: It's comfortable. -JONESEY: Yeah. 261 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,267 -I'mma be honest. -Sure. 262 00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:22,270 -Let me tell you, I feel very mildewy in here. -What? 263 00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:23,480 Mildewy smell. 264 00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:25,815 -You gotta disclose that kind of shit. -Oh, really? 265 00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:27,817 There's an existing wetness in this place. 266 00:09:27,859 --> 00:09:29,486 -You feel there's a wetness? -Mildew wetness. 267 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,154 Jonesey, a lot of people have been in this house, 268 00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:32,655 nobody ever complained about wetness. 269 00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,491 You know what? White people are naturally wet. 270 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:37,494 White people are inherently wet? Is that what you're telling me? 271 00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:38,828 Of course, White people are wet. 272 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,872 You're very naturally damp people. 273 00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:43,333 Jonesey, with all due respect, 274 00:09:43,415 --> 00:09:46,169 you were underwater for 15 minutes, breathing through a straw. 275 00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:49,172 It's not the house, Jonesey. It's you. You're damp! 276 00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:51,132 That was three days ago. I'm dry. 277 00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:52,926 I'm dry, and I don't smell mildewy. 278 00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:54,177 You may be dry now, 279 00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:56,179 but that wetness has stayed with you. 280 00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:57,764 I get it. You won't accept your wetness. 281 00:09:57,847 --> 00:09:59,349 No, you're not accepting your wetness. 282 00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:02,018 -I have no wetness to accept. -Okay, that's your opinion. 283 00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:04,604 I was damp before. But I came back in, I got re-damped. 284 00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:07,190 Like, I got damp again when I came in here. I could sense it. 285 00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:08,566 I don't know, it's... it's... it's-- 286 00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:11,069 I feel spirits in here too. Did someone die on that couch? 287 00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,696 -No. -I sense death on that couch. 288 00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:15,532 Well, somebody was very sick on the couch, 289 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:16,866 and then she died upstairs. 290 00:10:16,908 --> 00:10:18,535 Did they get mildewed in their... 291 00:10:18,576 --> 00:10:20,578 in their process of going to the afterlife? 292 00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:22,539 No, they didn't get mildewed. 293 00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:25,625 I'm gonna give you some advice. When someone dies on a couch, 294 00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:27,627 you turn over that fucking cushion. 295 00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:28,795 Got it. Point taken. 296 00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:30,213 You gave me a point in there already, 297 00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,215 so you gonna take the point back that I already got? 298 00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:33,883 -No, I'm just saying, you made-- -I got a point in there. 299 00:10:33,925 --> 00:10:35,385 -Now you just said point taken again. -I'm just saying, 300 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,095 you made a good point, and I'm taking the point. Yeah. 301 00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:38,888 -You're not gonna rob me. Okay. -You know what, Jonesey? 302 00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:40,056 Let's start fresh. 303 00:10:40,098 --> 00:10:41,599 -Let's just start fresh and say... -Let's start fresh. 304 00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:42,976 -...we're both a little mildewy. -Yeah. 305 00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:44,060 -We're-- Okay? -(HESITATES) 306 00:10:44,102 --> 00:10:45,270 Well, let's just say that 307 00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:47,897 given that you were in a swamp for 15 minutes-- 308 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,732 And being that somebody died on that couch. 309 00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:51,234 The person didn't die on the couch. 310 00:10:51,276 --> 00:10:52,944 -They died upstairs. -They were close to death, 311 00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:56,865 and then they went upstairs, and the job was finished, and they fucking died upstairs. 312 00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:58,241 But they were already pre-dead. 313 00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:01,995 I'll tell you what, if you're not comfortable, and you're not cozy, 314 00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:05,582 and you feel there's bad spirits around, go! 315 00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:07,417 I'll tell you what, I've been through worse. 316 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:10,003 The last place I stayed at had this high-back chair, 317 00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:12,922 and it had a little chair in front of it, so you could sit in it 318 00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:14,799 and you put your feet on it, and you sit like this. 319 00:11:14,883 --> 00:11:16,926 Yeah, yeah, that's an ottoman you're talking about. 320 00:11:16,968 --> 00:11:18,761 Fucking "ottoman." I got a friend named Ottoman. 321 00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:21,264 I had no idea the relationship between the slave owner 322 00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:23,433 giving him the name Ottoman and the fucking ottoman. 323 00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:26,269 This motherfucker had a fixation with home furnishings. 324 00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:27,854 He would name the slaves after furniture. 325 00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:31,024 Yeah. The blacksmith, he named him Armoire. 326 00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:32,275 Big motherfucker named Armoire. 327 00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:33,401 -Armoire? -Big motherfucker. 328 00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:34,611 I kept saying to myself, man, I said, 329 00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:37,113 "This Ethan Allen is one crazy White man." 330 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,407 I wonder what that fixation with furniture was. 331 00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:41,451 Okay, how about breakfast? How about that? 332 00:11:41,492 --> 00:11:42,452 -Huh? -Breakfast! 333 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:43,786 -Breakfast? -Where does that happen at? 334 00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:44,996 LAWRENCE: How about it? 335 00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:46,289 Yeah, what's the deal with that? 336 00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:48,665 LAWRENCE: Yeah, there's breakfast. I got breakfast. 337 00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:51,628 Oh, is this the lady who died? Is this her? 338 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,463 -Yep, that's her. -Oh, wow. 339 00:11:53,504 --> 00:11:54,839 Rest in peace. Was you hitting that? 340 00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:56,507 Nah, she wanted nothing to do with me. 341 00:11:56,591 --> 00:11:59,469 And I'm still a sap enough to take care of her. 342 00:11:59,510 --> 00:12:01,304 Sometimes you gotta be appreciative of you taking care of her, 343 00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:02,972 and maybe let you suck on a titty 344 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:04,265 or something like that once in a while. 345 00:12:04,307 --> 00:12:06,392 -It's a gift. "Thank you so much for taking care of me." -Yes. 346 00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:07,852 "Thank you so much." 347 00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:09,479 -That's all you have to do. -And give you one of those. That's right. 348 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:10,813 Wait, you got pancakes? 349 00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:13,983 -No, just farina. -I bet it's wet. 350 00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:15,902 Wet-ass bowl of mush. 351 00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:17,612 -Yeah, pretty much. -It's crazy. 352 00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:19,322 I'm a connoisseur of these places, 353 00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:22,367 and I've heard some not-so-good feedback 354 00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:23,826 on this place. I'mma be honest, 355 00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:26,829 people come here, they smell death, they feel wet. 356 00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:29,165 I'm telling you, you got some bad reviews out there. 357 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,334 These bad ratings? So unfair! 358 00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:32,961 You know, I carried that woman up the stairs. 359 00:12:33,044 --> 00:12:34,629 I hurt my back, couldn't chop wood. 360 00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:37,382 There was no hot water. And so I got some bad reviews. 361 00:12:37,465 --> 00:12:38,508 This is just my opinion. 362 00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,927 I'll give this place no more than a two. 363 00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:44,264 All right, I'll tell you what. I'll make some pancakes. 364 00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:46,516 Two eggs, some flour in that motherfucking bowl. With a little pinch of cinnamon. 365 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,268 You don't have to tell me. I know how to make a pancake. 366 00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:49,727 -The wrist gotta be like this. -All right, great. 367 00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:51,020 You know, you're so knowledgeable 368 00:12:51,062 --> 00:12:53,648 about making pancakes, why don't you make them yourself? 369 00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:57,777 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm not your slave, man. 370 00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:00,071 -Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! -Whoa! 371 00:13:00,154 --> 00:13:01,906 -Never said you were. -Whoa! Whoa, you did. 372 00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:03,366 -No. Whoa! No, no. -Whoa! I got the "whoa." 373 00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:04,659 -No, I got the "whoa." -Oh, no, no, 374 00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:06,202 -I'm in possession of the "whoa." -I got the "whoa." 375 00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:08,371 -I got the "whoa." Oh, no! -I said "whoa" first. 376 00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:09,872 You want me to make pancakes? That's a "whoa." 377 00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:11,207 Yeah. You're saying that I think you're a slave? 378 00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:12,375 That's a "whoa." 379 00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:14,252 -That's a "I ain't gonna do shit" whoa. -Whoa. Whoa. 380 00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:15,461 What does that have to do with slave? 381 00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:16,879 I didn't say you were a slave. 382 00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:18,423 That's just doing someone a favor. 383 00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:19,549 You know what slavery was? 384 00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:23,219 A whole long list of fucking favors. 385 00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:24,679 Never thought of it like that, Jonesey. 386 00:13:24,762 --> 00:13:26,556 Yeah. Give me a point taken. 387 00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:27,890 -How about that? -No. 388 00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:29,058 -You know why? -Why? 389 00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,226 'Cause you'll just take it back. 390 00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:32,103 -Mm. No. -You don't like the point taken. 391 00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:33,104 I like a point taken. 392 00:13:33,187 --> 00:13:35,732 I just don't want it taken from me. 393 00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:38,067 -♪ (UPBEAT FOLKSY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -I'mma go to bed. 394 00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:39,193 Get me some rest, man. 395 00:13:39,277 --> 00:13:41,404 -Get a good night's sleep there. -Ah, yeah. 396 00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:43,406 -Jonesey... -Appreciate you, Lawrence! 397 00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:46,075 ...make a right up the stairs, don't go left. 398 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,244 -That's the dead room. -JONESEY: Okay. 399 00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:50,204 (DOOR OPENS) 400 00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:53,374 JONESEY: Hey, this mattress is too soft! 401 00:13:53,458 --> 00:13:55,251 LAWRENCE: That's too fucking bad. 402 00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,712 -JONESEY: Whoa. -Oh. Oh, no, no. 403 00:13:57,795 --> 00:13:59,505 -Whoa. -JONESEY: No, oh, whoa. 404 00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:01,883 -Whoa! I got the "whoa!" -JONESEY: I got the "whoa!" 405 00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:03,801 -I got the "whoa!" -Oh, no. I got the "whoa!" 406 00:14:03,885 --> 00:14:05,553 -JONESEY: I've got the "whoa!" -I got the "whoa!" 407 00:14:05,636 --> 00:14:07,597 -JONESEY: Whoa! -No! 408 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:11,100 (CRICKETS CHIRPING) 409 00:14:11,142 --> 00:14:12,268 JONESEY: Look at you. 410 00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:13,478 You're just absolutely beautiful. 411 00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:16,564 Ooh-wee! (SIGHS) 412 00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:19,108 Combination of flapjacks, hot cakes, and pancakes. 413 00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:21,944 -Jonesey cakes. Whoo, yeah! -Oh, my God. 414 00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:24,030 -What the fuck? -Whoo! 415 00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:26,741 (CHUCKLES) Soak yourself in that. 416 00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:29,952 LAWRENCE: What is going on here? It's the middle of the night. 417 00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:32,121 And you woke me up with the smell of bacon. 418 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,331 You can't blame bacon. 419 00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:35,083 It's one of the most recognizable smells in the world. 420 00:14:35,165 --> 00:14:37,043 You can smell bacon through dog shit. 421 00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:39,295 This is an underground railroad. 422 00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:41,297 -Yeah. -And what do railroads do? 423 00:14:41,339 --> 00:14:44,175 They move. You gotta get back on the train. 424 00:14:44,258 --> 00:14:46,427 -(JONESEY CHUCKLES) -Get back on the train. 425 00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:47,804 That's a great concept. You know what? 426 00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:49,305 I've been thinking about that a lot. 427 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:50,640 And I decided to stay. 428 00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:53,184 You know, and help other slaves make their way up North. 429 00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:56,312 You know, a month ago when you got here, 430 00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:59,565 you couldn't wait to go and start tapping in the North. 431 00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:00,650 You were gonna tap. 432 00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:02,985 What happened to the tapping? They're there. 433 00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:04,362 -Yeah. -They're waiting for the tap. 434 00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:06,030 Everybody's going, "Where's Jonesey?" 435 00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:07,573 -"Where's Jonesey?" -"We're ready for tapping." 436 00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:08,866 I'mma tell you something. 437 00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:12,703 My daddy always told me, "Ass ain't going nowhere. 438 00:15:12,787 --> 00:15:14,622 Ass gonna be there when you get there." 439 00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:16,874 Jonesey, I know how sensitive you are 440 00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:18,251 about the word "favor," 441 00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:19,502 -but... -Hmm? 442 00:15:19,544 --> 00:15:21,796 ...would it be too much to ask, you know, 443 00:15:21,879 --> 00:15:24,382 to kind of help out a little bit? 444 00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:27,009 You want me to slave it up around here? 445 00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:29,512 No, I just... I just want you to help out. 446 00:15:29,554 --> 00:15:30,638 Are you serious right now? 447 00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:32,348 -Are you serious? -Are you serious? 448 00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:33,683 I ask you to take your shoes off. 449 00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:35,226 -Is that slavish? -That's slave shit. 450 00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:37,687 Okay, I ask you to pick up some candles. 451 00:15:37,728 --> 00:15:39,188 If it ain't for me, slavish. 452 00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:40,481 What if we're sharing the candles? 453 00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:42,275 If you're involved with it, that's slavish. 454 00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:44,110 -No, it's not. That's a favor. -Yeah. No, no, it's not. 455 00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:45,862 -That's a favor. -You want more favors? 456 00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,197 You are not allowed to ask a Black person 457 00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:51,534 for any favors for the next 400 years. 458 00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:52,869 -Is that right? -That's right. 459 00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:55,037 You know what? This is smelling awfully good. 460 00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:56,205 Fuck yeah. You better sit your ass down, 461 00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:57,540 stop all that complaining and shit. 462 00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:58,749 Mm-hmm. 463 00:15:58,833 --> 00:16:00,918 Would you pass the pancakes, or is that slavish? 464 00:16:01,002 --> 00:16:02,420 I'mma hand that to you 'cause they're Jonesey cakes. 465 00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:03,880 -No kidding. I-- -You should try those Jonesey cakes. 466 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:05,631 You know what? I think we're making a lot of progress here. 467 00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:07,550 -I think we're making a lot of progress, Lawrence. -Look at this. 468 00:16:07,592 --> 00:16:08,593 -(KNOCKING ON DOOR) -Uh-oh. 469 00:16:08,676 --> 00:16:09,719 Any chance you'll get that? 470 00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:12,722 -Slave. -♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 471 00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:14,390 -Oh. -Good evening. 472 00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:16,058 I wasn't expecting anyone. 473 00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:17,643 ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 474 00:16:17,727 --> 00:16:18,769 OTTOMAN: Wow. 475 00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:21,898 -ARMOIRE: Wow. -Hello. 476 00:16:21,939 --> 00:16:23,274 -(DOOR CLOSES) -Hey, Mr. White Man. 477 00:16:23,357 --> 00:16:26,152 -You must be one of the good ones. -Eh. 478 00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:28,571 -(BOTH LAUGH) -Armoire and Ottoman! What? 479 00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:29,697 -Jonesey! -Come on now! Come on! 480 00:16:29,780 --> 00:16:31,073 (ALL CHEERING) 481 00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:33,326 I knew you was here! I knew you was here! 482 00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:34,702 They can't catch me! 483 00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:37,246 This is who I was telling you about! Armoire and Ottoman right here! 484 00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:39,582 Armoire and Ottoman, yeah, yeah. Ethan Allen? 485 00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:40,917 -Yeah! -Yeah, yeah, yeah. 486 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,085 -Where y'all headed at? -Well, we was planning to spend the night 487 00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:45,630 -and then take 18 long miles tomorrow... -(JONESEY WHISTLES) 488 00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:47,173 ...to get to a house in Joplin. 489 00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:48,633 Yeah, yeah, you're welcome to spend the night. 490 00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:50,259 -Of course, yeah. -ARMOIRE: Thank you. 491 00:16:50,301 --> 00:16:51,761 Fuck that. You stay as long as you want. 492 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:53,763 -Huh? -JONESEY: Take a long, long vacation. 493 00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:55,139 -You for real? -For real. 494 00:16:55,223 --> 00:16:56,432 This is Jonesey talking to you. 495 00:16:56,474 --> 00:16:58,100 -Thank you, Jonesey. Thank you. -(JONESEY LAUGHS) 496 00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:00,019 Ottoman, you go on in there and put your feet on top of yourself. 497 00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:01,604 -You ain't gotta tell me twice. -Okay? Y'all go eat. 498 00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:03,648 -ARMOIRE: You hear that, Ottoman? -Go eat. Go eat, rest them feet. 499 00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:05,608 Yeah. Look at y'all. 500 00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:08,778 Lawrence got about three more of these robes, man. I got you. Don't worry about it. 501 00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,570 Goddamn, Jonesey, it sure is damp in here. 502 00:17:10,655 --> 00:17:11,781 JONESEY: I told you. 503 00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:15,367 Hey, Armoire, I got a big boulder in front of the barn. 504 00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:16,618 I was wondering if maybe you could help me 505 00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:18,913 -move it tomorrow morning? -Slave? 506 00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:21,499 Yeah, of course. (SIGHS) 507 00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:24,502 ♪ (LIVELY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 508 00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:31,592 -♪ (CHEERY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -JACKSON: On December 17th, 1903, 509 00:17:31,676 --> 00:17:33,511 in Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, 510 00:17:33,594 --> 00:17:36,180 American inventors Wilbur and Orville Wright 511 00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:39,392 achieved the first controlled flight of a powered aircraft... 512 00:17:39,475 --> 00:17:41,310 -(ENGINE RUMBLING) -...the "Wright Flyer." 513 00:17:41,352 --> 00:17:43,187 The flight lasted 12 seconds, 514 00:17:43,271 --> 00:17:46,190 and covered a distance of 120 feet. 515 00:17:46,274 --> 00:17:48,484 Hey, gotta start somewhere. 516 00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:53,489 And with it, the Wright brothers ushered in the era of flight. 517 00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,825 But there was a third Wright brother 518 00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:58,035 whom the history books have neglected, 519 00:17:58,703 --> 00:18:00,121 and with good reason. 520 00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:04,500 Make sure you get the whole plane in it, and also one of us. 521 00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:06,627 -PHOTOGRAPHER: Three, two, one. -And then one, like, silly for-- Ah! 522 00:18:06,711 --> 00:18:08,170 -(CLICKS) -ORVILLE WRIGHT: There we go. 523 00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:10,089 And then one more... one more, like, really serious, 524 00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:12,341 -where we're just, like yeah, like this. Love it. -LARRY WRIGHT: Hey! Hey! 525 00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:13,634 -(OVERLAPPING CHATTER) -Orville! 526 00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:15,052 -Orville! -Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Shit, shit. Go, go, go, go. 527 00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:17,138 Get out of the way. Go, go, go. 528 00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:18,973 What's going on? What are you doing? 529 00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:20,600 -Hey, we... -We just were ta-- 530 00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:21,726 -We were waiting for you. -For you. 531 00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:23,519 -Didn't look that way. -ORVILLE: Yeah, no, no. 532 00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:25,187 -We have to test all of the equipment... -All the stuff. 533 00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:28,357 -...make sure that it works and it's all ready to go. -Yeah, this is all... working. 534 00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,318 And then you're the last, uh, 535 00:18:30,401 --> 00:18:31,694 -the last element of the equation. -Really? 536 00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:32,778 -Really? -Yeah. 537 00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:34,030 Looks like you were ready to take off, boys. 538 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,364 WILBUR WRIGHT: No, not at all! 539 00:18:35,406 --> 00:18:36,824 -ORVILLE: Not enough wind! -Why would we take off without you? 540 00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:38,034 -We wouldn't take off without you. -No. 541 00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:39,035 ORVILLE: It's the Wright brothers. 542 00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,161 -WILBUR: Yeah! -ORVILLE: Come on! 543 00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:41,871 -Come on in. -Come on. You can sit right here. 544 00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:43,539 -LARRY: Sit here? -BOTH: Yeah. 545 00:18:43,581 --> 00:18:44,749 -ORVILLE: Sit her down. -In the middle? 546 00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:46,042 -Yeah. -Right in the middle, buddy. 547 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,376 -What? -Yeah. 548 00:18:47,418 --> 00:18:49,420 -Oh, this is awful. -Favorite brother. No, it's gonna be great. 549 00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:50,504 This is not comfortable at all. 550 00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:52,381 You know, you can lean back a little if you want. 551 00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:54,216 I don't want the middle seat. Let me sit on the end. 552 00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:56,135 -No, no, I gotta work the stuff. -No, no, no. He's gotta work that. 553 00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:57,470 I've gotta work the engine. 554 00:18:57,553 --> 00:18:59,138 -You just sit right in the middle. -I can't sit in the middle. 555 00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:01,599 -I get claustrophobic. -It's the last seat available. 556 00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:03,267 I don't understand why there is a middle seat. 557 00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:05,144 Why is there one seat that's so much worse than the others? 558 00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:07,063 You're ruining a great invention. 559 00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:09,231 We will need you to put this below your seat, though. 560 00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:10,399 -What? Why? -Yeah, just for safety. 561 00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,568 What do you mean "safety"? I'm sitting on a peach crate. 562 00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,612 Any hand luggage needs to go under the seat. 563 00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:16,906 -That's where that belongs. -Well, why can't I keep it on my lap? 564 00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:18,407 -It's very, very dangerous. -WILBUR: No, no, no, no. 565 00:19:18,449 --> 00:19:20,076 We designed it for the bag to fit under there. 566 00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:21,535 -Okay. You know what? -Should be under the seat. 567 00:19:21,619 --> 00:19:22,995 -Fine, fine. -Yeah, not on your lap. 568 00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:25,122 -You know... -LARRY: Fine. 569 00:19:25,206 --> 00:19:26,165 -You happy? -Yeah. 570 00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:27,249 -I am happy. -Yeah, you happy? 571 00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:29,085 -We're ready to go. -Oh, I feel so safe. 572 00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:30,419 -Time to go. -I feel safe. 573 00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,338 -Yeah. -Thank God the carry-on's under the seat. 574 00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:34,590 Well, now you got your hands in case something goes wrong. 575 00:19:34,632 --> 00:19:36,342 -Something goes wrong, you brace yourself. -You brace yourself. 576 00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:38,594 -You can do one of these, right? -One of these. Right? 577 00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:40,262 -Or one of these. -One of those. 578 00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:42,556 -Then you can do one of these. -If the plane goes like that, you can brace yourself. 579 00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:44,308 -(OVERLAPPING CHATTER) -Okay, I get it. I got the point. 580 00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:45,559 -I got the point. -All right. 581 00:19:45,643 --> 00:19:47,103 -Okay? Got the point. -Now we're ready to take off. 582 00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:48,813 All right! 583 00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:51,524 -Ready to go? -You know, I just gotta say, okay? 584 00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:53,567 -Yeah. -I mean, I'm not... I'm not stupid. 585 00:19:53,609 --> 00:19:55,945 -Mm. -I know-- I think you were trying to take off without me. 586 00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:57,321 -And you know, Wilbur... -Yeah. 587 00:19:57,405 --> 00:19:59,115 ...I did save your life. 588 00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:01,200 -I think the least you owe me is to... -Oh, this again. 589 00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:02,660 ...you know, to at least wait for me. 590 00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:04,412 What are you talking about? When did you save my life? 591 00:20:04,495 --> 00:20:05,538 You were drowning, 592 00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:07,123 -and I gave you an oar, I saved your life. -Yeah. 593 00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:08,624 I probably would've made it on my own, but thank you. 594 00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:09,917 No, you wouldn't have made it on your own. 595 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,293 -You were crying. -I was not crying. 596 00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:13,129 -You were screaming. -That was water from the lake. 597 00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:15,005 -I was not screaming. -I'll never forget that scream, 598 00:20:15,089 --> 00:20:16,424 -I'll tell you that. -You sh-- I-- 599 00:20:16,507 --> 00:20:17,842 It was embarrassing. I-- 600 00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:19,218 You'll never forget a lot of things you make up. 601 00:20:19,301 --> 00:20:21,804 -Yeah. -I'm glad that we're all here, 602 00:20:21,846 --> 00:20:23,139 ready to take off. 603 00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:24,598 It's gonna be a great flight. 604 00:20:24,682 --> 00:20:26,016 -Yeah. -Any snacks on here? 605 00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:27,768 -What? You didn't eat? -Give him a snack. 606 00:20:27,852 --> 00:20:29,311 -I've got-- -Yeah, I'm coming on the plane here. 607 00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:30,563 There's no snack? 608 00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:32,148 -I mean, anything to put in his mouth. -I got some peanuts. 609 00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:33,649 -Here, have some peanuts. -Peanuts? That's it? 610 00:20:33,691 --> 00:20:35,025 That's circus food. 611 00:20:35,109 --> 00:20:36,819 -No, try 'em out. -It's hardly circus-- We gotta take off 612 00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:38,028 before this gets any weirder. 613 00:20:38,112 --> 00:20:41,157 -Okay. -All right, ready? Gentlemen, goggles on. 614 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,992 ♪ (LIGHT ADVENTUROUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 615 00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,785 -Ready to go? -Here we go. 616 00:20:44,869 --> 00:20:46,829 -Contact. -WILBUR: Contact. 617 00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:48,581 -LARRY: Contact. -(ENGINE RUMBLING) 618 00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:50,374 ORVILLE: Here we go. 619 00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:53,753 -All right, it's working like a charm. Beautiful. -Oh, yeah. 620 00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:56,464 -(ENGINE SPUTTERING) -Oh, that's probably bad. 621 00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:59,008 -Yep, yep, yep. Let me kill it. -Oh, yeah. Is it-- Oh, is it doing the thing? 622 00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:00,551 -What happened? -Let me kill it. Let me kill it. 623 00:21:00,634 --> 00:21:01,844 -Colby! Where's Colby? -WILBUR: Colby! 624 00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:03,012 -Hey, guys. -ORVILLE: Here he comes. 625 00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:05,181 I think it's the same rod. We threw a rod. 626 00:21:05,222 --> 00:21:06,515 -Get comfortable. -COLBY: Let me take a look. 627 00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:08,100 -It's gonna be a while so... -Colby's on it. Our guy-- 628 00:21:08,184 --> 00:21:10,186 -Okay, fine. -He's on it. He's got the wrench. 629 00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:12,188 -No, no, no, no. We gotta wait here. -What are you talking about? 630 00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:14,148 -We gotta wait on the plane. We can't deplane. -What? Why? 631 00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:15,858 De-- What is "deplane"? I never heard of that. 632 00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:17,359 -Why? Are you kidding? -It's the opposite of plane. 633 00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:18,652 -We gotta wait right here... -"Deplane"? 634 00:21:18,694 --> 00:21:20,237 -...until they fix the mechanical issue. -Yeah. 635 00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:22,031 -Deplane? -Safety first. 636 00:21:22,072 --> 00:21:25,201 We're sitting on the ground. There's no safety involved. 637 00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:26,577 I gotta wait on the plane 638 00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:28,204 -no matter how long it takes? -Yeah. 639 00:21:28,245 --> 00:21:30,748 -What if it's five hours? -BOTH: Then we wait five hours. 640 00:21:30,831 --> 00:21:33,083 I gotta sit in the middle with shitty snacks 641 00:21:33,167 --> 00:21:34,710 -doing nothing? -Yeah. 642 00:21:34,752 --> 00:21:36,462 -For five hours? Are you crazy? -Yeah. 643 00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:37,630 -This is the airplane experience. -Also-- 644 00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:40,049 It's not a good experience! It's a bad experience! 645 00:21:40,090 --> 00:21:41,550 The stupidest rule I ever heard. 646 00:21:41,592 --> 00:21:43,052 -Trust us. It's for your own safety. -Yeah. 647 00:21:43,093 --> 00:21:45,221 -Just get comfy. -You know what else? 648 00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:47,014 I'm taking my name off the invention. 649 00:21:47,056 --> 00:21:48,974 Orville and Wilbur, you can have it. 650 00:21:49,058 --> 00:21:50,434 I don't want anything to do with this machine. 651 00:21:50,518 --> 00:21:52,478 -You're gonna regret it. You're not gonna-- -LARRY: Oh, I don't think so. 652 00:21:52,561 --> 00:21:54,104 ORVILLE: I'm telling you, you're gonna regret this. 653 00:21:54,188 --> 00:21:55,898 And by the way, I have a bone to pick with you. 654 00:21:55,981 --> 00:21:57,775 -I'm sure you do. What now? -Oh, here we go. 655 00:21:57,858 --> 00:22:00,277 -I was going away for a week, you remember? -Mm-hmm. Yeah. 656 00:22:00,361 --> 00:22:01,737 -I asked you to water my plants. -Of course. 657 00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:02,905 I come home... 658 00:22:02,988 --> 00:22:05,908 -Plants are thriving. -...and I discover that you 659 00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:08,077 have had sex in my house. 660 00:22:08,118 --> 00:22:10,454 -How did you find out that he had sex in your house? -Yeah, how did you... 661 00:22:10,538 --> 00:22:12,414 Uh, because there was, uh, sex evidence 662 00:22:12,498 --> 00:22:13,791 by the African violets. 663 00:22:13,874 --> 00:22:15,251 -That's how. -I'm not denying it, 664 00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:16,794 but I can't have sex in my house. 665 00:22:16,877 --> 00:22:18,587 My wife is there. 666 00:22:18,629 --> 00:22:20,714 -Oh. -By the way, somebody has to have sex in your house. 667 00:22:20,798 --> 00:22:23,300 -Thank you. Right. This one isn't. -Oh, you know, Wilbur, fuck you. 668 00:22:23,384 --> 00:22:24,802 -Fuck you. Fuck you. -Fuck you. 669 00:22:24,885 --> 00:22:27,096 -Oh, boy. Guy-- But calm down. -You gave me the bad seat, 670 00:22:27,137 --> 00:22:28,597 just like you gave me the bad seat 671 00:22:28,681 --> 00:22:30,975 at your wedding. Same thing. Put me right by the kitchen. 672 00:22:31,058 --> 00:22:32,768 Every waiter would bump into me, 673 00:22:32,810 --> 00:22:34,228 and knock me over on the way out. 674 00:22:34,311 --> 00:22:35,938 I put you at the singles table. 675 00:22:36,021 --> 00:22:37,940 You were looking to meet somebody that night, 676 00:22:37,982 --> 00:22:39,692 and I put you next to the best-looking lady there. 677 00:22:39,775 --> 00:22:41,610 She had one eye, okay? 678 00:22:41,694 --> 00:22:43,821 -Hey, things happen. -She didn't have an eye patch. 679 00:22:43,904 --> 00:22:46,115 It was like you sat me next to a cyclops. 680 00:22:46,198 --> 00:22:48,325 I was sitting on her blind side, 681 00:22:48,409 --> 00:22:50,619 and she knocked her tomato soup all over my lap. 682 00:22:50,703 --> 00:22:52,454 -Why is that her fault? -It's not her fault. 683 00:22:52,538 --> 00:22:54,123 Let her have one eye, but wear an eye patch. 684 00:22:54,206 --> 00:22:55,958 Have a little consideration for other people. 685 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:57,251 You could've just asked her out. 686 00:22:57,334 --> 00:22:58,377 Asked her out? 687 00:22:58,460 --> 00:22:59,795 -You know, she talks about you all the time. -Yeah. 688 00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:01,255 -She talks about me? -She does. 689 00:23:01,338 --> 00:23:02,798 Maybe next time you see her, 690 00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:04,300 tell her to put... you know, put an eye patch on. 691 00:23:04,341 --> 00:23:06,093 Hey, you know what would be a nice thing for you to do? 692 00:23:06,135 --> 00:23:08,304 Maybe make her one and say, "Hey, you know what? I got you." 693 00:23:08,345 --> 00:23:11,473 -That sounds insulting to me. -Giving somebody a gift? 694 00:23:11,557 --> 00:23:13,809 Listen, she knows about an eye patch. 695 00:23:13,893 --> 00:23:15,477 She just chooses not to wear it. 696 00:23:15,561 --> 00:23:16,979 -Why don't-- -It was a formal event. She didn't have 697 00:23:17,062 --> 00:23:18,814 a formal eye patch. I think that's the problem. 698 00:23:18,898 --> 00:23:20,274 Why don't you make her one that's bedazzled? 699 00:23:20,357 --> 00:23:21,483 -Maybe she'll wear that. -Something nice. 700 00:23:21,567 --> 00:23:22,985 'Cause she's not a bad-looking woman. 701 00:23:23,027 --> 00:23:23,986 That's what I'm saying. 702 00:23:24,069 --> 00:23:26,572 Yeah, I'll send it to her in the mail 703 00:23:26,655 --> 00:23:27,865 -anonymously. -Anon-- 704 00:23:27,948 --> 00:23:30,367 -Huh? Orville? Yeah. Yes. -And then notice it the next time. 705 00:23:30,451 --> 00:23:31,535 And the note attached should say, 706 00:23:31,619 --> 00:23:33,412 "Beauty is in the one eye of the beholder." 707 00:23:33,495 --> 00:23:35,831 -You know what? -I love that. I love that. That's not bad. 708 00:23:35,915 --> 00:23:37,708 -Good for something. Yeah. -That's good. That's good. 709 00:23:37,791 --> 00:23:39,168 -All right, let's take off. -Ready to take off? 710 00:23:39,209 --> 00:23:40,628 WILBUR: Colby, how we doing? 711 00:23:40,711 --> 00:23:41,837 ORVILLE: Oh, we got a thumbs up, guys. 712 00:23:41,879 --> 00:23:43,047 -We got a thumbs up. -COLBY: Good to go. 713 00:23:43,130 --> 00:23:44,214 -ORVILLE: Goggles on. -Here we go. 714 00:23:44,298 --> 00:23:45,758 -ORVILLE: And spin it, Colby. -COLBY: All clear. 715 00:23:45,841 --> 00:23:47,134 -ORVILLE: Contact. -(ENGINE RUMBLING) 716 00:23:47,217 --> 00:23:48,177 COLBY: Good luck. 717 00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:51,513 -Here we go! -Oh, look at that. (CHEERS) 718 00:23:51,597 --> 00:23:53,682 Oh, this is gonna be great. 719 00:23:53,724 --> 00:23:55,017 COLBY: Hold it steady. 720 00:23:55,100 --> 00:23:57,311 -(ORVILLE AND WILBUR LAUGH) -♪ (CHEERY UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 721 00:23:57,394 --> 00:23:59,021 -WILBUR: Wow, it works! -ORVILLE: Whoa! 722 00:23:59,104 --> 00:24:00,272 -There we go! -No, no, no! 723 00:24:00,356 --> 00:24:01,857 I changed my mind. I don't wanna go! 724 00:24:01,899 --> 00:24:03,192 I'm feeling sick. I'm feeling sick. 725 00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:05,527 -I'm gonna throw up. (YELLS) -Here. Here, use that. 726 00:24:05,611 --> 00:24:07,529 (RETCHES) 727 00:24:07,613 --> 00:24:09,698 ORVILLE: Look at this beautiful view. 728 00:24:09,740 --> 00:24:12,785 I'm gonna die! No, no, no! I don't wanna go! 729 00:24:12,868 --> 00:24:16,747 ♪ (LIVELY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 730 00:24:22,419 --> 00:24:24,588 JACKSON: In the 1950s, during the Cold War 731 00:24:24,672 --> 00:24:26,590 between Russia and the United States, 732 00:24:26,674 --> 00:24:29,176 -fear of communism was everywhere. -♪ (INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 733 00:24:29,218 --> 00:24:31,637 -JACKSON: The Red Scare reached a fever pitch... -(INDISTINCT SHOUTING) 734 00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:35,057 ...when Republican Senator Joe McCarthy of Wisconsin 735 00:24:35,099 --> 00:24:37,768 launched a series of highly publicized probes 736 00:24:37,851 --> 00:24:39,395 into alleged communist penetration 737 00:24:39,478 --> 00:24:41,230 of all levels of government. 738 00:24:41,313 --> 00:24:43,774 No one dared tangle with McCarthy 739 00:24:43,857 --> 00:24:45,943 for fear of being labeled a communist. 740 00:24:46,026 --> 00:24:48,404 Even the U.S. Army was under investigation, 741 00:24:48,487 --> 00:24:51,448 which led to the famous Army-McCarthy hearings. 742 00:24:51,532 --> 00:24:54,410 Joseph Welch was the chief counsel for the Army, 743 00:24:54,451 --> 00:24:56,745 and his confrontation with McCarthy, 744 00:24:56,829 --> 00:24:58,622 where he famously asked, 745 00:24:58,706 --> 00:25:03,252 "Have you no sense of decency, sir, at long last?" 746 00:25:03,293 --> 00:25:04,962 was seen as a turning point 747 00:25:05,045 --> 00:25:07,256 in this regrettable chapter of our history. 748 00:25:07,297 --> 00:25:08,924 But according to McCarthy, 749 00:25:09,008 --> 00:25:12,761 he wasn't the only one with no sense of decency. 750 00:25:12,803 --> 00:25:15,264 JOSEPH MCCARTHY: In view of Mr. Welch's request, 751 00:25:15,305 --> 00:25:18,684 I think we should tell him that he has in his law firm 752 00:25:18,767 --> 00:25:20,769 a young man named Fisher... 753 00:25:21,812 --> 00:25:24,273 who for many years 754 00:25:24,356 --> 00:25:27,067 has been part of an organization, 755 00:25:27,151 --> 00:25:29,486 oh, years and years ago, 756 00:25:29,570 --> 00:25:33,240 that is the legal bulwark of the Communist Party. 757 00:25:33,282 --> 00:25:36,785 Let us not assassinate this lad further. 758 00:25:36,827 --> 00:25:42,291 -Have you no sense of decency, sir, at long last? -(ATTENDEES MURMURING) 759 00:25:42,374 --> 00:25:45,711 -Have you left no sense of decency? -ATTENDEE: Here, here! 760 00:25:45,794 --> 00:25:49,631 Have I no sense of decency? And what about you, Mr. Welch? 761 00:25:49,715 --> 00:25:52,342 I see you drinking a glass of water 762 00:25:52,426 --> 00:25:53,677 without a coaster, 763 00:25:53,761 --> 00:25:56,221 leaving a ring stain on a beautiful table. 764 00:25:56,305 --> 00:25:58,474 So, who has no sense of decency? 765 00:25:58,515 --> 00:25:59,975 In my defense, Senator, 766 00:26:00,059 --> 00:26:02,227 I was told the table has been treated 767 00:26:02,311 --> 00:26:03,812 with a fine epoxy. 768 00:26:03,896 --> 00:26:07,149 It is also a very old table, I believe. 769 00:26:07,232 --> 00:26:08,525 Mr. Welch, I will submit 770 00:26:08,609 --> 00:26:10,986 that you care as little about this table 771 00:26:11,028 --> 00:26:13,530 as you do about the sanctity of our democracy. 772 00:26:13,614 --> 00:26:15,908 Otherwise, you would have a coaster 773 00:26:15,991 --> 00:26:17,993 like the one I brought from home. 774 00:26:18,077 --> 00:26:21,163 You traveled here today with your own coaster? 775 00:26:21,246 --> 00:26:25,584 Yes, that is correct, because I respect wood. 776 00:26:25,667 --> 00:26:27,836 The issue is, you left a ring stain, 777 00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:29,963 you're continuing to leave ring stains, 778 00:26:30,047 --> 00:26:32,674 and I can tell you who else leaves ring stains. 779 00:26:32,716 --> 00:26:34,843 -Communists leave ring stains. -Oh, come on. 780 00:26:34,885 --> 00:26:37,012 -Communists don't care about a table. -CHAIRPERSON: Point of order. 781 00:26:37,096 --> 00:26:39,348 -Communists have no respect for wood. -(ATTENDEES MURMURING) 782 00:26:39,389 --> 00:26:40,390 Citation needed. 783 00:26:40,474 --> 00:26:42,851 And I'll tell you who else lacks common decency. 784 00:26:42,935 --> 00:26:44,853 -Senator Symington? -Yes? 785 00:26:44,895 --> 00:26:47,564 MCCARTHY: You came to my house a few weeks ago, 786 00:26:47,648 --> 00:26:51,235 and did not wipe your feet on the mat. 787 00:26:51,318 --> 00:26:54,029 -You trudged in mud. Is that decent? -(ATTENDEES GASPING) 788 00:26:54,071 --> 00:26:55,197 How could you even know that? 789 00:26:55,239 --> 00:26:56,740 When I found you, you couldn't hear me. 790 00:26:56,824 --> 00:26:58,408 You were in your study on the other side of the house. 791 00:26:58,492 --> 00:27:02,162 My hearing is as finely attuned to wiping 792 00:27:02,204 --> 00:27:04,248 as it is to the infiltration 793 00:27:04,331 --> 00:27:06,166 of communists in the State Department. 794 00:27:06,250 --> 00:27:09,294 -(ATTENDEES MURMURING) -And I'll tell you who else doesn't wipe their feet. 795 00:27:09,378 --> 00:27:10,337 Don't say it. 796 00:27:10,379 --> 00:27:12,172 Communists don't wipe their feet. 797 00:27:12,256 --> 00:27:15,384 -I've never seen a communist wiping feet. -Okay, here we go. Here we go. 798 00:27:15,425 --> 00:27:18,637 You don't find welcome mats in the Soviet Union. 799 00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:22,474 Karl Marx was a mud tracker. Engels wrote about it. 800 00:27:22,558 --> 00:27:26,061 My housekeeper is from Romania. She told me herself. 801 00:27:26,145 --> 00:27:28,564 There are no mats in the satellite countries. 802 00:27:28,647 --> 00:27:31,733 She fled because there were no doormats? 803 00:27:31,817 --> 00:27:33,068 MCCARTHY: And who could blame her? 804 00:27:33,152 --> 00:27:34,486 Speaking of indecency, 805 00:27:34,570 --> 00:27:37,573 Senator Byrd told me he couldn't come to my barbecue 806 00:27:37,614 --> 00:27:39,533 because it was his daughter's birthday. 807 00:27:39,616 --> 00:27:43,245 Turns out his daughter is 28 years old. 808 00:27:43,287 --> 00:27:46,582 A father can't spend a special day with his daughter? 809 00:27:46,665 --> 00:27:48,292 Not at the age of 28. 810 00:27:48,375 --> 00:27:50,294 What are they going to do, Senator Mundt? 811 00:27:50,377 --> 00:27:52,754 Go to the zoo? Paint their faces? 812 00:27:52,796 --> 00:27:55,215 Go on a pony ride? Get ice cream? 813 00:27:55,299 --> 00:27:58,218 I tell you, gentlemen, it lacks decency. 814 00:27:58,302 --> 00:28:00,596 And by the way, if I may continue, 815 00:28:00,679 --> 00:28:04,183 mutual trips to the Senate lavatory have confirmed 816 00:28:04,266 --> 00:28:06,602 that Senator Dirksen does not use soap... 817 00:28:06,643 --> 00:28:08,270 -(ATTENDEES GASPING) -...when he washes his hands. 818 00:28:08,312 --> 00:28:10,647 I can tell you who else doesn't use soap. 819 00:28:10,731 --> 00:28:12,274 -If I had to guess-- -Communist. 820 00:28:12,316 --> 00:28:13,775 -Communist. -You got it. 821 00:28:13,817 --> 00:28:15,819 My Romanian housekeeper, Lenka, 822 00:28:15,903 --> 00:28:18,780 has told me all about communists, 823 00:28:18,864 --> 00:28:21,158 how they don't wear clothes in their homes. 824 00:28:21,241 --> 00:28:23,994 -They have no shame, no modesty. -(ATTENDEES GASPING) 825 00:28:24,077 --> 00:28:26,496 Occasionally, she will walk around the house 826 00:28:26,580 --> 00:28:28,290 -without clothes on... -Okay. 827 00:28:28,373 --> 00:28:30,125 ...and I will have to remind her 828 00:28:30,209 --> 00:28:33,795 -that she is here in America, and we wear clothes here. -(ATTENDEES MURMURING) 829 00:28:33,879 --> 00:28:35,631 You want more indecency? 830 00:28:35,714 --> 00:28:37,299 The Ways and Means Committee 831 00:28:37,382 --> 00:28:39,801 went to the Old Ebbitt for lunch last week, 832 00:28:39,843 --> 00:28:42,346 and Senator Potter took it upon himself 833 00:28:42,429 --> 00:28:44,848 to order for the entire table, 834 00:28:44,932 --> 00:28:47,893 -as if he was chairman. -(ATTENDEES GASPING, MURMURING) 835 00:28:47,976 --> 00:28:50,604 MCCARTHY: Does that word ring a bell to anyone? 836 00:28:50,687 --> 00:28:52,356 I could tell you another chairman. 837 00:28:52,439 --> 00:28:54,149 His name is Nikita Khrushchev, 838 00:28:54,233 --> 00:28:57,069 and he's the chairman of the Communist Party 839 00:28:57,152 --> 00:28:58,278 in the Soviet Union. 840 00:28:58,362 --> 00:28:59,738 Nobody could make up their mind. 841 00:28:59,821 --> 00:29:01,990 If I hadn't ordered, we'd still be eating that lunch. 842 00:29:02,032 --> 00:29:04,493 I didn't get one thing that I liked. 843 00:29:04,576 --> 00:29:05,869 He ordered fish. 844 00:29:05,953 --> 00:29:09,289 Disgusting, awful, smelly halibut. 845 00:29:09,373 --> 00:29:11,708 It was a special. It was highly recommended. 846 00:29:11,792 --> 00:29:15,003 Yes, highly recommended by a waiter 847 00:29:15,087 --> 00:29:18,840 -who was wearing a very red shirt! -(ATTENDEES GASPING) 848 00:29:18,924 --> 00:29:21,051 Are we now color-coding communism? 849 00:29:21,134 --> 00:29:22,177 MCCARTHY: Indeed. 850 00:29:22,219 --> 00:29:24,388 Well, then what about Santa Claus, sir? 851 00:29:24,471 --> 00:29:26,682 And I have my doubts about Santa Claus 852 00:29:26,765 --> 00:29:30,018 giving away all those presents, going house to house, 853 00:29:30,102 --> 00:29:31,853 collecting information 854 00:29:31,937 --> 00:29:35,315 -and using it against decent Americans. -(PALM BANGING ON TABLE) 855 00:29:35,357 --> 00:29:37,192 -(ATTENDEES MURMURING) -SENATOR: He's nuts. 856 00:29:37,234 --> 00:29:39,903 It appears that anything that you dislike 857 00:29:39,987 --> 00:29:43,031 can be compared to the evils of communism. 858 00:29:43,073 --> 00:29:45,325 I don't particularly like it when my neighbor 859 00:29:45,409 --> 00:29:48,620 allows their dog to relieve himself in my yard. 860 00:29:48,704 --> 00:29:51,331 -I don't think he's a communist dog. -(ATTENDEES LAUGHING) 861 00:29:51,415 --> 00:29:55,210 This is no laughing matter. We're doing very important work. 862 00:29:55,252 --> 00:29:58,046 What's more, I saw Senator Potter 863 00:29:58,130 --> 00:30:00,382 personally take a handful of mints 864 00:30:00,424 --> 00:30:03,510 -at a restaurant from a bowl at the cashier. -(ATTENDEES GASPING) 865 00:30:03,593 --> 00:30:05,887 MCCARTHY: There's an honor system, Senator. 866 00:30:05,929 --> 00:30:08,098 The mints weren't exclusively for me. 867 00:30:08,181 --> 00:30:09,808 I share them with the staff. 868 00:30:09,891 --> 00:30:13,145 Sticking that big, filthy paw in a handful of mints 869 00:30:13,228 --> 00:30:15,564 is not something the restaurant encourages. 870 00:30:15,605 --> 00:30:18,358 Senator Potter, were they individually wrapped mints? 871 00:30:18,442 --> 00:30:22,237 There was no wrapping, per se, but I wash my hands, 872 00:30:22,279 --> 00:30:23,322 unlike Dirksen. 873 00:30:23,405 --> 00:30:24,740 MCCARTHY: Did you ask the cashier 874 00:30:24,781 --> 00:30:26,575 if you could take a handful of mints? 875 00:30:26,658 --> 00:30:28,785 -It's implied. -It's not implied. 876 00:30:28,869 --> 00:30:32,914 It's one mint per person. One mint per person. 877 00:30:32,956 --> 00:30:36,209 (CHANTS) One mint per person. One mint per person. 878 00:30:36,293 --> 00:30:37,627 -One-- -No one's chanting that. 879 00:30:37,711 --> 00:30:39,755 -No one's gonna chant with you. -SENATOR MUNDT: No one's chanting. 880 00:30:39,838 --> 00:30:42,799 -JOSEPH WELCH: No. -Senator Potter, I don't think I need to tell you, 881 00:30:42,883 --> 00:30:45,927 if you were in Moscow, you would be in prison 882 00:30:46,011 --> 00:30:48,555 -for going over your mint allotment. -(ATTENDEES GASPING) 883 00:30:48,597 --> 00:30:50,432 MCCARTHY: They will chop your hands off. 884 00:30:50,474 --> 00:30:51,975 They'll chop your toes off. 885 00:30:52,059 --> 00:30:54,019 -They'll chop your legs off. -(ATTENDEES MURMURING) 886 00:30:54,102 --> 00:30:55,979 You'll be left as a stump, 887 00:30:56,063 --> 00:30:58,398 someone to be viewed in the circus. 888 00:30:58,482 --> 00:30:59,608 Let's leave it at that. 889 00:30:59,691 --> 00:31:02,819 Is anyone else having a problem following all this? 890 00:31:02,903 --> 00:31:04,321 MCCARTHY: No! 891 00:31:05,947 --> 00:31:09,493 I introduced Senator Kilgore and Congressman Sullivan, 892 00:31:09,576 --> 00:31:11,203 and the next thing I know, 893 00:31:11,286 --> 00:31:13,997 they're going to a baseball game together 894 00:31:14,081 --> 00:31:16,750 -without me. That's not decent. -So what? 895 00:31:16,833 --> 00:31:18,794 They don't know each other well enough 896 00:31:18,877 --> 00:31:22,130 to be going off by themselves without including me. 897 00:31:22,172 --> 00:31:24,424 I'm the catalyst, I'm the glue. 898 00:31:24,508 --> 00:31:26,301 They deliberately excluded me, 899 00:31:26,343 --> 00:31:29,971 but nobody sniffs out chicanery like Tail Gunner Joe. 900 00:31:30,013 --> 00:31:32,015 Maybe they had business to discuss 901 00:31:32,099 --> 00:31:33,308 that did not include you? 902 00:31:33,350 --> 00:31:35,519 Yes, like overthrowing the government 903 00:31:35,602 --> 00:31:36,978 -of the United States. -(ATTENDEES GRUMBLING) 904 00:31:37,020 --> 00:31:38,480 MUNDT: Oh, come on. 905 00:31:38,563 --> 00:31:41,817 -Come on. -The irony is they did it at a baseball game, 906 00:31:41,900 --> 00:31:44,319 the most American of all activities, 907 00:31:44,361 --> 00:31:47,155 where you're free to shout out things like, 908 00:31:47,197 --> 00:31:50,033 "Hey, batter, batter, you stink! 909 00:31:50,117 --> 00:31:53,120 You suck! Go to hell! Drop dead!" 910 00:31:53,870 --> 00:31:56,206 Try saying that in Moscow, 911 00:31:56,289 --> 00:31:57,707 and see what happens. 912 00:31:57,791 --> 00:32:01,503 And you say, Mr. Welch, that I have no decency. 913 00:32:01,545 --> 00:32:03,505 I would also just say, take the hint. 914 00:32:03,588 --> 00:32:05,048 Your hint is not taken. 915 00:32:05,132 --> 00:32:08,718 I happen to be a bowl of fun and a big, 916 00:32:08,802 --> 00:32:10,262 -big barrel of laughs. -No. 917 00:32:10,345 --> 00:32:12,472 And do you wanna know who else has no common decency? 918 00:32:12,556 --> 00:32:14,015 Not really. 919 00:32:14,099 --> 00:32:17,144 Whenever a fat guy eats something halfway healthy, he never shuts up about it. 920 00:32:17,227 --> 00:32:20,397 I had a salad for lunch. You don't hear me crowing about it. 921 00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:22,732 -Stupid idiot. -I got a haircut last week. 922 00:32:22,816 --> 00:32:24,401 No one said boo. 923 00:32:24,484 --> 00:32:27,279 You acknowledge a haircut, that's the decent thing to do. 924 00:32:27,362 --> 00:32:30,198 And Senator Goldwater, pressing the elevator button 925 00:32:30,282 --> 00:32:32,242 will not make it come any faster. 926 00:32:32,325 --> 00:32:34,744 And to all the married men out there 927 00:32:34,828 --> 00:32:36,621 who are constantly bragging about 928 00:32:36,705 --> 00:32:38,165 having sex with your wives, 929 00:32:38,248 --> 00:32:39,374 big deal! 930 00:32:39,416 --> 00:32:43,044 You talk about it like it's some great accomplishment. 931 00:32:43,128 --> 00:32:45,213 So what? It's pathetic. 932 00:32:45,255 --> 00:32:47,716 I have sex with my wife all the time... 933 00:32:47,799 --> 00:32:50,093 -What are you doing? -...in many different positions, 934 00:32:50,177 --> 00:32:52,053 some of which are quite demeaning. 935 00:32:52,137 --> 00:32:54,055 And she does anything I want. 936 00:32:54,097 --> 00:32:55,515 Many costumes. 937 00:32:55,599 --> 00:32:57,851 But I don't go around yapping about it. 938 00:32:57,934 --> 00:33:01,354 Senator, you are aware these hearings are televised, 939 00:33:01,438 --> 00:33:03,315 and your wife is surely watching. 940 00:33:03,398 --> 00:33:07,277 ♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 941 00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:09,196 Oh! (SCOFFS) 942 00:33:09,237 --> 00:33:13,158 Wh-- Oh, my-- Oh! Oh, no! I'm joking! I'm joking. I'm joking! 943 00:33:13,241 --> 00:33:16,369 I'm jo-- (HESITATES) I-- Honey! Jeannie! 944 00:33:16,411 --> 00:33:18,788 You know what I think of you. I didn't mean any of that. 945 00:33:18,872 --> 00:33:20,582 It was all a joke. It's all for effect. 946 00:33:20,665 --> 00:33:22,584 You know, I don't even care about communists. 947 00:33:22,626 --> 00:33:23,960 Honey, don't be mad at me, please. 948 00:33:24,044 --> 00:33:27,005 I didn't mean to say anything. I just got-- I got excited. 949 00:33:27,088 --> 00:33:28,590 You know how I get. 950 00:33:28,673 --> 00:33:32,260 Oh, Jeannie, I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! 951 00:33:32,302 --> 00:33:35,805 ♪ ("THE STARS AND STRIPES FOREVER" PLAYING) ♪ 952 00:34:45,375 --> 00:34:48,043 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪