1 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:31,739 On the evening of April 18th, 1775, 2 00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:35,785 Paul Revere was given the task to ride to Lexington, Massachusetts 3 00:00:35,786 --> 00:00:38,746 with the news that the British soldiers stationed in Boston 4 00:00:38,747 --> 00:00:42,291 were about to march into the countryside northwest of town. 5 00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:43,834 Revere set out on horseback, 6 00:00:43,835 --> 00:00:46,963 and after narrowly avoiding capture outside of Charleston, 7 00:00:46,964 --> 00:00:50,091 he changed his route and rode through Medford, 8 00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:52,802 warning the colonists of the impending attack. 9 00:00:52,803 --> 00:00:56,014 You know, "The British are coming! The British are coming!" 10 00:00:56,640 --> 00:01:00,768 Revere's brave ride saved many lives 11 00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:02,938 and inadvertently ruined a few others. 12 00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,981 - The British are coming! - Fetch the horses! 13 00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:06,942 - We must flee! - The British are coming! 14 00:01:07,526 --> 00:01:08,652 The British are coming! 15 00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:12,488 The British are coming! Flee! 16 00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:14,448 Flee! Run for your lives! 17 00:01:14,449 --> 00:01:15,992 Oh, shit! The British! 18 00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:19,620 The British are coming! Hey! The British are coming! 19 00:01:19,621 --> 00:01:21,872 Oh, my God! Elsbeth! Elsbeth! 20 00:01:21,873 --> 00:01:23,791 - Yeah? What's happening? - The British are coming! 21 00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:25,376 - What? What? - The British are coming! 22 00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:27,044 Yeah! We gotta pack up and get out of here! 23 00:01:27,045 --> 00:01:28,422 - Where are we gonna go? - I don't know! 24 00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:30,673 We could go to my sister's in Ipswich! 25 00:01:30,674 --> 00:01:31,882 - Your sister's? - Yeah! 26 00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:34,093 Oh, no, she's such a Puritan! We can't go there! 27 00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:36,554 Before every meal she says grace for 45 minutes! 28 00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:37,972 I don't know what she's so thankful for! 29 00:01:37,973 --> 00:01:39,140 Half her kids are dead! 30 00:01:39,141 --> 00:01:40,641 Yeah, well she's still got five good ones! 31 00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:42,018 Okay, we'll go to your sister's. 32 00:01:42,019 --> 00:01:43,185 - Okay. - Get your stuff! 33 00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:45,229 - Pack your things! - Should I take the carrots? 34 00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:46,564 - Carrots, good. Good snack. - Yeah. 35 00:01:46,565 --> 00:01:47,732 What about the eggs? 36 00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:50,234 No. Eggs on a trip with a horse? Are you nuts? 37 00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:52,111 You're taking your collection of feathers? 38 00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:53,821 This is not a feather collection. 39 00:01:53,822 --> 00:01:55,114 These are quills. 40 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:57,158 I've had this collection since I was a boy. 41 00:01:57,159 --> 00:01:59,285 This one was in the hands of John Winthrop 42 00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:00,745 the day he died of pleurisy. 43 00:02:00,746 --> 00:02:02,830 - We gotta make space for Mom. - You're not bringing that. 44 00:02:02,831 --> 00:02:04,248 This was her wedding day portrait. 45 00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:06,542 - She was 25. - That woman's a monster! 46 00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:08,502 We're sharing your trunk! - That-- No! 47 00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:10,379 - Let-- - Let me take Mom! 48 00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:12,006 Please, I'm telling you, she's dead. 49 00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:14,759 - Get this fucking woman out of-- - She's dead. 50 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:15,926 Please, leave it here. 51 00:02:15,927 --> 00:02:17,928 We don't need that in the wagon, come on. 52 00:02:17,929 --> 00:02:19,681 You know what's really irritating about you? 53 00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:22,558 You better not bring up my butter churning. 54 00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:24,018 - Really? - Yeah, that's right. 55 00:02:24,019 --> 00:02:26,729 Well, you are the world's worst butter churner! 56 00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:28,939 You couldn't churn butter to save your life. 57 00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:30,608 How dare you! 58 00:02:30,609 --> 00:02:32,443 Nobody churns butter better than me. 59 00:02:32,444 --> 00:02:34,779 I'm the best churner there is. I go clockwise. 60 00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:38,199 And then I pump, I pump, faster, faster, 61 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:39,325 churn, churn, churn. 62 00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:42,411 Mother said marry him anyway, but his butter's bitter. 63 00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:44,288 It's not bitter butter. It's better butter. 64 00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:46,207 - Bitter butter isn't better. - Bitter butter is better. 65 00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:48,167 - Nobody likes your butter. - By the way, 66 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:51,003 while we're on the subject, your pigeon is mealy. 67 00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,296 - My pigeon? - Yeah, your pigeon. 68 00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:53,839 - Everybody loves my pigeon. - Your pigeon! 69 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,300 Nobody loves your pigeon. And you know what? 70 00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:58,135 That's why people don't come to the house anymore. 71 00:02:58,136 --> 00:02:59,512 'Cause they can't stand it. 72 00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:01,180 You should see their faces when they're eating. 73 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:04,058 They are wincing. They're nauseous. They're sick to their stomachs. 74 00:03:04,059 --> 00:03:05,893 You know why they don't come over here? 75 00:03:05,894 --> 00:03:07,561 Because you're boring. 76 00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:09,605 That's why you didn't get the invite to the Tea Party... 77 00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:11,482 - Oh, yeah, yeah. Sure, yeah. - ...with Michael Finney. 78 00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:13,442 He said, "All he does is talk about his work." 79 00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:15,778 Because my work is very interesting. 80 00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:17,822 - That's why. - You build barrels. 81 00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:19,323 Yeah, barrels are interesting. 82 00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,325 Nobody finds barrels interesting. 83 00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:24,495 You don't find barrels interesting 'cause you don't understand barrels. 84 00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:26,497 Barrels are way too complicated for you. 85 00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:27,665 It's not easy to build a barrel. 86 00:03:27,666 --> 00:03:30,459 Really? Just putting some wood in a circle is so hard? 87 00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:32,461 You think it's easy to get wood in a circle? 88 00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:33,754 That's how stupid you are. 89 00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:35,965 - It's easy to get wood in a circle. - That's just how stupid-- 90 00:03:35,966 --> 00:03:38,259 - Easy to get wood in a circle? - It comes from a tree! 91 00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:39,802 Which is round! 92 00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:42,389 And that's the size of a barrel! 93 00:03:43,306 --> 00:03:44,349 Okay, you know what? 94 00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:45,891 I don't have time to argue about this. 95 00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:47,935 Let's forget all this. Come on. We gotta finish packing. 96 00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:50,020 Okay. I'm gonna bring some more scrimshaw. 97 00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:51,898 Yeah, scrimshaw. Good idea. Okay. 98 00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:54,734 Wait, what's that? What do you got there? 99 00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:55,818 Oh, no, it's nothing. 100 00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:57,319 Well, if it's nothing, why can't I see it? 101 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,196 Well, if it was something, I would let you see it... 102 00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:00,365 - Well, it's-- - ...but it's nothing, 103 00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:01,574 so why look at nothing? 104 00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:03,284 Whether it's nothing or something, I wanna see. 105 00:04:03,285 --> 00:04:05,287 - No, what are you doing? Get your-- - I know, you would be-- 106 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,668 Why do you have pictures of bare-chested squaws? 107 00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:17,048 Okay. It's very, very easy to explain. 108 00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:21,135 I'm starting a butter business, and I was gonna put her picture 109 00:04:21,136 --> 00:04:22,678 on the side of the jar. 110 00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:24,221 I didn't know she'd be naked. 111 00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:26,682 Why would you have pictures of naked Mashpee Indians 112 00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:29,185 - on the side of your butter? - Mashpees? 113 00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:31,353 They happen to be Iroquois. I'm not a savage. 114 00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:34,106 - What do they got to do with butter? - My mistake. 115 00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,567 - What's that? - Sorry, guys. I'm sorry. 116 00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:38,527 The British are not coming. 117 00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:40,112 - They are not coming. - Thank heavens! 118 00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,322 - What? - That was my mistake. 119 00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:43,699 - I'm sorry, everybody. - What? What are you talking about? 120 00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:45,826 They're not headed here. They're heading to Concord. 121 00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:48,162 Concord? What was all that before? 122 00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:50,539 You raced down the hill earlier screaming at the top of your lungs, 123 00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:52,792 "They're coming, they're coming, they're coming, they're coming." 124 00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,585 This is what I heard. This is what I was told. 125 00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:56,087 Who told you the British were coming? 126 00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:57,505 - Some guys. - Who are they? 127 00:04:57,506 --> 00:04:58,589 They're some cool guys. 128 00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:00,341 They're like, "Oh, I heard the British are coming." 129 00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:01,967 They're like, "Yeah, yeah, I heard that too." 130 00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:03,719 "We should let people know," and I overheard them, 131 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,429 I was like, "Hey, you know, let me tell people." 132 00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:06,889 Like, "I'd love to get involved somehow," 133 00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:08,808 and they're like, "All right. You got it, Paul." 134 00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:10,226 - "You can do this." - So guys you know 135 00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:11,435 say the British are coming, 136 00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,604 and you volunteer to ride throughout the town 137 00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:15,272 and tell everybody, is that how this went? 138 00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:17,150 Yeah, well, they're-- I mean, they're pretty cool guys. 139 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,277 Well, maybe you should have ridden down the hill screaming, 140 00:05:19,402 --> 00:05:21,153 - "The British might be coming." - They are coming. 141 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,280 It's not like they're not com-- They're just not coming here. 142 00:05:23,281 --> 00:05:24,866 Are you gonna tell them they made a mistake? 143 00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,200 - No. - Why not? 144 00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:28,160 These are, like, cool guys. I'm not gonna say, like, 145 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:31,330 "Hey, you guys made a mistake. The British weren't coming exactly there." 146 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:34,333 They're not gonna want to hang. They're not gonna hang with me ever. 147 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,085 - Oh, Revere. - What? 148 00:05:36,086 --> 00:05:37,754 You know what you fucking did for me here tonight? 149 00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:39,839 - I don't-- What-- - You really screwed me big-time. 150 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,715 Thank you. Great job, Revere. 151 00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:44,719 I apologize, but I'm not in charge of your life, sir. 152 00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:48,430 So the British are not coming. 153 00:05:48,431 --> 00:05:50,307 Sorry about that, everybody. 154 00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:52,685 That was-- That's my mistake! 155 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:55,313 The British are not coming! 156 00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:02,195 Funny story. 157 00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:06,074 Funny story. This... 158 00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:10,160 This Revere guy, what a whack job. 159 00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:13,290 This guy's cuckoo. As it turns out... 160 00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:17,501 the British aren't coming. Can you believe it? 161 00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:18,961 They're not coming. 162 00:06:18,962 --> 00:06:21,130 Yeah, yeah, yeah. All this is... 163 00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:22,591 Yeah, yeah. 164 00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:26,468 So, you know, we can unpack 165 00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:30,307 and resume our wonderful lives here, and... 166 00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:32,559 Anyway, what's for dinner? 167 00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:34,352 Hoping it's pigeon! 168 00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:49,366 The Texas Revolution was a rebellion 169 00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:52,369 by American settlers against Mexico's government. 170 00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:57,333 On February 23rd, 1836, Davy Crockett, James Bowie, 171 00:06:57,334 --> 00:07:00,837 and a small garrison of about 200 Texan volunteers 172 00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:05,799 were besieged by a Mexican army force of two to three thousand soldiers 173 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,718 under General Santa Anna 174 00:07:07,719 --> 00:07:11,180 in what became known as the Battle of the Alamo. 175 00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:13,599 All the defenders were killed, 176 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:18,228 and outnumbered ten-to-one, they had little to no chance of victory. 177 00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:24,444 But aside from that, there may have been a very different reason the Alamo failed. 178 00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:35,537 Our first order of business is going to be 179 00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:37,623 - to fortify this east wall. - Oh, yeah, the east wall. 180 00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:39,583 - Right? We need-- - Yeah. It needs fortification. 181 00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:42,461 Absolutely. Colonel Travis has asked that we take all the ammunitions 182 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:45,381 - and put them in the main plaza area. - Travis? 183 00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:47,341 - I know. - He thinks he's such the big boss. 184 00:07:47,342 --> 00:07:48,592 It's like we're doing all the work. 185 00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:52,179 They're in their room all day barking out orders to people. 186 00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:54,473 - They don't do shit. - I don't know what they're doing in there. 187 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,350 - You're doing all the work. - I'm do-- Look at me! 188 00:07:56,351 --> 00:07:57,935 - Hey, let me ask you something. - Yeah, yeah. 189 00:07:57,936 --> 00:08:00,270 You know, there's no outhouse here. You got a good spot? 190 00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:03,023 I mean, I got a spot, but I don't love it. 191 00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:04,733 It's out by the pecan trees. 192 00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:07,445 I go through the cactus patch, usually this tree right here. 193 00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:08,822 Oh, yeah, yeah, I scouted that. 194 00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:11,448 - Wait a minute, you got a spot? - I got a pretty good spot. 195 00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:13,283 - Well, whereabouts? - Yeah. 196 00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:15,577 So, just tell me just the general vicinity of the spot. 197 00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:16,745 This is all I'm gonna tell you. 198 00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:18,831 And don't ask me anything else. I'm not gonna tell you. 199 00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:22,126 It's on the north side, somewhere out-- No, you're not gonna find it. 200 00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:24,294 - Is it north of the cactus wastelands? - No, don't ask. 201 00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:25,587 - Forget it. We're done. - Sure, sure. 202 00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:28,674 I'll just tell you this. You couldn't find a better spot than this. 203 00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:30,134 - Really? - It is fantastic. 204 00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:31,552 Is it by the fork of the river? 205 00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:33,554 I know that the grass there's a little more plush. 206 00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:34,680 All right, I'm done with it. 207 00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:37,016 You're not gonna share your defecation spot? 208 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:39,059 - Davy, you know how I feel about you. - I do. 209 00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:41,186 But you're never gonna find out where that spot is. 210 00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:42,896 You're not gonna tell me about the spot? 211 00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:44,231 I'm not gonna tell you about 212 00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:46,066 - the defecation spot, Davy. - Come on. 213 00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:47,818 - You're never gonna find out. - Larry, come on, man! 214 00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:50,154 - No! - I'm defecating over here 215 00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:54,117 in what may as well be the sixth level of Dante's Inferno. 216 00:08:54,826 --> 00:08:57,536 And m-- What? 217 00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,496 - May I ask you a question? - By all means, yeah. 218 00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:03,792 I just realized I have never seen you without that cap on. 219 00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:04,877 - Oh, this cap? - Yeah. 220 00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:06,837 - You've never seen me with the cap off? - Not once. 221 00:09:06,838 --> 00:09:08,297 I like the cap a lot. It suits me. 222 00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:10,049 I've known you, what, eight months? Nine months? 223 00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,467 - Yeah. - You never take it off. 224 00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:12,718 I mean, I've had it off. 225 00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,094 - I've definitely taken it off. - Really? 226 00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:16,638 I mean, maybe you've never seen it off. Sometimes, I take it off at night. 227 00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:18,515 - Sometimes-- - I don't think anyone's ever seen it off. 228 00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:19,808 I've spoken to some people about it. 229 00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:21,769 - What is it? It's a raccoon? - Raccoon, definitely, yeah. 230 00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:24,438 Disgusting scavenger animal. How could you wear that on your head? 231 00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:25,522 You say disgusting. 232 00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:26,607 - Yeah. - I say resourceful. 233 00:09:26,608 --> 00:09:29,109 - They're garbage eaters. - Here's the thing about the hat. 234 00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,486 - It just really ties... - Yeah. 235 00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:31,779 ...the entire outfit together. 236 00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:34,615 'Cause even that day that we went swimming the Rio Grande, 237 00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:36,867 - you had the cap on. - I don't like getting too much sun. 238 00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:38,244 The point is that it... 239 00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:41,371 it looks as if you're hiding something. 240 00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:42,664 - I'm not hiding anything. - Really? 241 00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:44,708 - There's nothing to hide. - Can I tell you a little story? 242 00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:46,543 - Okay. - I met this woman one day in the park. 243 00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:48,587 I had my hat on. I made a very good impression. 244 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:51,298 I saw her the next day. I didn't have the cap on. 245 00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:55,260 She saw this, and she was quite disappointed. 246 00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:57,471 I guess what I'm saying, Davy, is, 247 00:09:57,472 --> 00:10:00,808 she thought I had deceived her in some way by wearing the cap. 248 00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,351 Larry, I don't like what you're insinuating. 249 00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:05,020 - No, I'm an open book. - What's under that cap, Davy? 250 00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:07,022 - A head. - And what's on top of the head? 251 00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:08,524 - Hair. - I'd like to see it. 252 00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:10,776 - This is my look. Do you understand? - Yeah. 253 00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:12,402 - This thing, the fringe. - Yeah, I get it. Yeah. 254 00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:14,154 I killed a bear when I was three. 255 00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:15,906 - That's part of it, you know? - All right, okay. 256 00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:18,159 Stop this bullshit bear story when you were three. 257 00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:19,701 - I'm not buying that. - It's not bullshit. 258 00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:21,121 You didn't kill a bear when you were three. 259 00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:22,830 - Larry. I killed a-- - Give me a break, okay? 260 00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:25,332 - I'm not buying that at all. - I was three and a half. 261 00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:26,708 - Let's round it down. - Okay. 262 00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:28,085 - Yeah. - I literally killed a bear. 263 00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:31,964 - Yeah, 'cause he was already dead, I bet. - He was not dead. He was dying. 264 00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,674 I didn't say it wasn't a mercy killing. 265 00:10:33,675 --> 00:10:35,509 - I just said I killed a bear. - Okay, fine. 266 00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:38,262 You "killed" the bear when you were three, and you're not bald. 267 00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:41,098 There is hair underneath this hat. 268 00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:42,516 Let's see the hair, Davy. 269 00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:44,518 - You want to see what's under the hat? - I do, yeah. 270 00:10:44,519 --> 00:10:46,396 Just did it. I'm known for my quickness. 271 00:10:46,938 --> 00:10:48,272 What? 272 00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:49,565 Easy, Davy. 273 00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:52,985 I will gut you and I will wear you as my next hat. 274 00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,195 Easy, Davy. 275 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:55,947 Easy, Davy. 276 00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:59,617 You are not bald. You're not bald. 277 00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:06,541 - Glad that we got that straight. - Sir. 278 00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:09,918 - Mexican army's on its way. - How many? 279 00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:12,172 At least 2,000. Maybe more. 280 00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:14,089 Two thousand. 281 00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:18,051 Here we are, 200 Texans, outnumbered ten-to-one. 282 00:11:18,052 --> 00:11:22,723 You tell Colonel Travis that we will fight to the last man. 283 00:11:22,724 --> 00:11:23,766 Yes, sir. 284 00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:26,977 What? So what was that? 285 00:11:26,978 --> 00:11:29,855 I said we're gonna fight to the last man. 286 00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:31,398 I thought that's what you said. 287 00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:33,567 - Is that wise? - We're here. 288 00:11:33,568 --> 00:11:35,277 We have to defend the Alamo. 289 00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:39,156 If we're all gonna die, what's the point? 290 00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:43,410 Why not just hang up the white flag and go home? 291 00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:44,786 Well, then we'd be seen as cowards. 292 00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:49,208 - Who gives a fuck? - We should die here with honor! 293 00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:52,545 Now I'm gonna go out there and I'm gonna inspire the men. 294 00:11:58,343 --> 00:11:59,969 Come on, light 'em up! 295 00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:03,431 I'm sorry. 296 00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:08,436 He's bald underneath. 297 00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:10,396 Jesus. 298 00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:12,814 A shiny head. 299 00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:15,902 No kidding, look at him. Not a hair at all. 300 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,626 That's why he never took his hat off. 301 00:12:32,627 --> 00:12:34,087 Really bald. 302 00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:53,040 Can you believe it wasn't until 1920 303 00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:56,084 that women in the United States won the right to vote? 304 00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:58,212 The passage of the 19th Amendment 305 00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:03,008 was the culmination of decades of struggle by suffragettes like Susan B. Anthony. 306 00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:06,678 In 1869, along with Elizabeth Cady Stanton, 307 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:09,431 she founded the Women's Suffrage Association, 308 00:14:09,432 --> 00:14:11,350 fighting for the rights of women to vote, 309 00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,978 hold property, and have equal access to education. 310 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:18,315 Susan B. Anthony faced constant ridicule and misogyny, 311 00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:21,902 but she never wavered in her devotion to the cause of equal rights. 312 00:14:21,903 --> 00:14:27,699 Friend or foe, Susan B. Anthony advocated for everyone to have a seat at the table, 313 00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:30,536 but there were some she wished she wasn't seated next to. 314 00:14:31,746 --> 00:14:35,999 How lovely to have you all here at our dinner table. 315 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:39,044 Thank you all so much for coming. It means the world to me. 316 00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:40,879 - Susan, thank you. - Yes. 317 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,255 Thank you for inviting us. 318 00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:43,757 - Oh, Alfred. - Looks wonderful. 319 00:14:43,758 --> 00:14:46,009 - Thank you so much for having us. - Thank you, Herbert. 320 00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:48,303 - Thank you, Aunt Susan. - Of course, of course. 321 00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:49,971 - Absolutely. - Very kind. 322 00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:51,265 Indeed. 323 00:14:54,102 --> 00:14:55,185 What? 324 00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:57,521 I said thank you for coming. You're supposed to reciprocate. 325 00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:59,689 It's an interesting point you raise. 326 00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:02,442 Sort of an unnecessary reciprocation, 327 00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:04,152 - really, if you think about it... - Really? 328 00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:06,113 ...because you really weren't the one who invited me. 329 00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:07,948 Your beautiful sister Edith did. 330 00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:09,950 Who I'm courting, is that the right word? 331 00:15:09,951 --> 00:15:12,160 - Yes. - Yeah. Who I'm courting. 332 00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:13,745 She invited me, so I'll tell you what I'll do, 333 00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:14,996 - Susie-- - Susan. 334 00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:16,540 Susan, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. 335 00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:18,708 In as much as she's the one who invited me, 336 00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:21,336 I'm gonna give her 90% of the thank you. 337 00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:22,712 Watch my 90%. 338 00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:25,632 - Thank you so much for inviting me. - You're welcome. 339 00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:27,718 And you, I'm gonna give 10%. 340 00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:30,554 - Thank you. - Yeah, that was great. 341 00:15:30,555 --> 00:15:32,222 - That's equitable. - Good adjustment. 342 00:15:32,223 --> 00:15:34,433 - Well, let's enjoy our meal. - Thank you. 343 00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:38,437 The asparagus in the salad was grown in Edith's garden. 344 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,439 - Your sister? - Oh, my gosh! 345 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,232 That's amazing. Thank you, Edith. 346 00:15:42,233 --> 00:15:43,650 - Thank you, Edith. - How delicious. 347 00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:45,318 She has a way with a vegetable. 348 00:15:45,319 --> 00:15:46,737 I like to help things grow. 349 00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:49,282 I'll say you sure do. 350 00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:53,994 You don't seem to be eating, Lawrence. 351 00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:55,746 - Something wrong? - Yeah. 352 00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:59,207 - Not that hungry. Had a late lunch. - Yeah, what time? 353 00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:00,917 - 4:00. - 4:00? 354 00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:02,544 - Yeah. - Why are you eating at four o'clock 355 00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:04,212 when you know you're coming to a dinner party? 356 00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:06,882 I'll tell you why. I was too hungry and, you know, I'm very frail. 357 00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:08,091 Yes, he was famished. 358 00:16:08,092 --> 00:16:09,843 Well, I think you could have just had a snack, 359 00:16:09,844 --> 00:16:12,846 - a cracker, or something. - Yes, Susie, that was the idea-- 360 00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:14,848 - Susan! - Yes, Susan, that was the idea. 361 00:16:14,849 --> 00:16:16,391 There were no crackers in the house. 362 00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:18,351 Everybody has a cracker in the house. 363 00:16:18,352 --> 00:16:20,312 - You have crackers in your house? - Of course. 364 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,606 And I usually do have a cracker. Didn't have the cracker. 365 00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:24,524 The cracker is paramount to the snack. 366 00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:26,318 - And so I made a sandwich. - A sandwich? 367 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:28,904 You know, it had some grilled onions on the top and... 368 00:16:28,905 --> 00:16:30,238 No, he loves grilled onions. 369 00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:33,283 I cut it into four parts, quarters. I was just gonna have a quarter, 370 00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:36,161 and one-quarter became two-quarters, and three-quarters. 371 00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:38,246 - I've been there. I've been there. - Yeah, sorry. 372 00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:41,124 You seem to be a man with very little self-control. 373 00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:42,751 Well, let me tell you something, okay? 374 00:16:42,752 --> 00:16:45,837 Every minute that I am around this woman without touching her, 375 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:48,216 I am exhibiting great self-control. 376 00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:50,967 So you're not gonna eat anything here tonight? 377 00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:52,303 Doesn't seem like it, no. 378 00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:54,429 Why'd you even come if you're not gonna eat? 379 00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:58,183 Well, first of all, you are not gonna regret my presence here. 380 00:16:58,184 --> 00:16:59,309 Am I an addition here? 381 00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:00,852 - A total addition. - Yeah, you'll see. 382 00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:03,355 You don't come across a personality like this every day, 383 00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:04,606 - you know? - That's for sure. 384 00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:06,942 I have a lot to offer other than just eating a meal. 385 00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:08,777 How is everybody else's meal? Emily? 386 00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:10,237 - It's delicious, Susan. - Yes. 387 00:17:10,238 --> 00:17:11,947 - Thank you, Martha, my love. - Yes, it is. 388 00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:13,282 Look at this little fork. 389 00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:16,910 - What's the idea behind this? - It's a salad fork, Lawrence. 390 00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:18,620 Why does this fork have to be smaller 391 00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:20,455 than the fork that you eat your main course with? 392 00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:23,416 Why do we eat with plates? Why do we have knives? 393 00:17:23,417 --> 00:17:25,919 Why do we have glasses? It's the way it's done. 394 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:27,712 Some things are there just out of custom 395 00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:29,340 and don't necessarily make any common sense. 396 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:32,259 My point about suffrage exactly. 397 00:17:32,260 --> 00:17:33,969 Sometimes things have to change. 398 00:17:33,970 --> 00:17:35,220 - Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. - Yes. Yes. 399 00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:37,806 You know what? How's this for a theory, okay? 400 00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:40,183 We should be eating the salad with the big fork, 401 00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:42,561 so we'll eat healthier and eat more salad. 402 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,437 The small fork should be for the main course, 403 00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:46,481 so you eat less, you eat less. 404 00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:49,150 - You see the switch I just did there? - Such an innovation. 405 00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:50,819 - You are so smart. - Really brilliant! 406 00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:51,862 What? 407 00:17:52,947 --> 00:17:54,906 - He does make a good point because... - Okay. 408 00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:57,576 ...if you look at the knives, they're the same size. 409 00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:59,744 - Identical. - Yes, identical. 410 00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:01,997 Who else is gonna suggest a fork switch? 411 00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:03,873 - Nobody. - It's like dining with a scientist. 412 00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:05,041 Yep, I'm an addition. 413 00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:06,835 Where else are you gonna get comments like that? 414 00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:08,879 Not from these two stiffs, I can tell you that. 415 00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:11,006 I would've never thought of something like that. 416 00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:14,968 These gentlemen who you're referring to happen to be upstanding citizens. 417 00:18:14,969 --> 00:18:18,722 Alfred here is the largest mill owner in western New York. 418 00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:22,267 We employ over 120 children. 419 00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:23,852 - Can we make a toast? - Yes! 420 00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:24,978 - Yeah. - Toast, Edith? 421 00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:27,897 - Yeah. Where's the wine, by the way? - We toast with water. 422 00:18:27,898 --> 00:18:29,316 - This is water? - I'm a teetotaler. 423 00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:32,193 You know, if we had a little wine, people would loosen up a bit. 424 00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:33,528 - We practice temperance here. - Yes. 425 00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:35,822 - Yeah. - We feel, in the temperance movement... 426 00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:37,657 The temperance, the temperance, the temperance. 427 00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:40,535 ...that alcohol is an evil that needs to be eradicated. 428 00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:42,287 We live a life of purpose. 429 00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:43,997 You look like you're having a blast. 430 00:18:43,998 --> 00:18:46,333 I am having a blast. Oh, yes, I am. 431 00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:47,667 I'm having a great time. 432 00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:49,252 You see how unfair this is, though? 433 00:18:49,253 --> 00:18:51,171 I mean, just 'cause you don't like to swim, 434 00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:52,589 nobody else can go in the water? 435 00:18:52,590 --> 00:18:54,007 My house, my rules. 436 00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:56,217 But there will be port after dinner? 437 00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:58,345 - No port, Herbert. - So no sherry, either? 438 00:18:58,346 --> 00:18:59,430 - No. - Temperance. 439 00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:03,266 We feel in this household that it's an evil. 440 00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:05,435 - You must see it at the mill. - It is a problem. 441 00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:07,771 - The children drink at the mill too. - And they cry a lot. 442 00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:10,607 Are you for children drinking at the mill, Lawrence? 443 00:19:10,608 --> 00:19:15,111 You know, I dislike children so much, it really doesn't bother me what they do. 444 00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:16,863 - Susan. - Yes, darling? 445 00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:21,076 We haven't remarked on the new invention that you just had installed, 446 00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:22,702 electricity. 447 00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:25,497 These lanterns and chandeliers, how beautiful. 448 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:26,540 I don't know about that. 449 00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:29,334 There's something about the candle glow that I still appreciate. 450 00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:32,129 I'm more of a beef tallow and wax man myself. 451 00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:35,048 - Well, I believe in progress. - That's right, and it's safer. 452 00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:37,717 - Safer than wax and flame? - Damn right. 453 00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:39,427 - What's your name again? - Herbert. 454 00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:42,389 Herbert, okay. I wanted to remember 455 00:19:42,390 --> 00:19:45,100 by the off chance we ever run into each other again, 456 00:19:45,101 --> 00:19:47,770 because it won't be a planned meeting. 457 00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:51,856 What are you getting at, sir? 458 00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:53,525 Well, I gotta say, this electricity 459 00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:55,610 is the greatest thing that's ever happened. 460 00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:57,697 I gotta get one of these. Who's your electric guy? 461 00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:00,615 I don't remember. 462 00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:01,992 Really? You don't remember? 463 00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:06,621 Really? Truly, you don't remember? 464 00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:08,707 Edith, I need to speak to you about the sauces. 465 00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:11,252 - Please meet me in the kitchen. - Okay, excuse us. 466 00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:13,629 - Look at this woman. - Yeah. 467 00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:15,171 Will you look at this woman? 468 00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:16,423 - Lovely. - Have you ever seen beauty 469 00:20:16,424 --> 00:20:18,133 - like this in your life? - She's wonderful. 470 00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:21,803 Hard to believe that these two came from the same womb. 471 00:20:21,804 --> 00:20:23,471 One of them has to have been adopted. 472 00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:25,265 - I need a drink. - Do you? 473 00:20:25,266 --> 00:20:26,434 Most definitely. 474 00:20:27,309 --> 00:20:29,478 - Oh, my! - You rascal. 475 00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,355 Lawrence! 476 00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:34,691 What is the matter with you bringing this moron into the house? 477 00:20:34,692 --> 00:20:37,402 I like him so much, Susan. You're being so hard on him. 478 00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:39,738 I am not being hard on him. There's something wrong with him. 479 00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:42,198 He's so clever. The little fork thing was genius. 480 00:20:42,199 --> 00:20:44,576 Oh, please. He's worse than that circus performer 481 00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:45,785 you brought home that time. 482 00:20:45,786 --> 00:20:46,829 I told you to keep 483 00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:48,913 Carl the Sword Swallower's name out of your mouth. 484 00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:50,499 You're right. You're right. I went too far. 485 00:20:50,624 --> 00:20:54,712 Lawrence had a point. I did invite him. He should have thanked me, not you. 486 00:20:55,045 --> 00:20:56,212 All right. 487 00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:59,382 I'm gonna try to be accepting, I'm gonna try to be tolerant 488 00:20:59,383 --> 00:21:01,718 - for your sake because I love you. - Thank you. Thank you, Susan. 489 00:21:01,719 --> 00:21:03,219 What am I gonna do with you? 490 00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:04,763 To my new favorite dinner guest. 491 00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:07,183 What the hell do you think you're doing? 492 00:21:07,975 --> 00:21:09,559 Is that alcohol? 493 00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:12,353 - No, it's saltpeter. - Saltpeter, my ass. 494 00:21:12,354 --> 00:21:14,481 It helps curb my sexual appetite. 495 00:21:14,482 --> 00:21:17,234 Otherwise, the poor woman, I'd fear for her. 496 00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:21,112 - Edith! - Sorry, Susan. 497 00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:22,655 You're a very bad influence, Lawrence. 498 00:21:22,656 --> 00:21:24,824 We're all not as perfect as you, Susan. 499 00:21:24,825 --> 00:21:27,577 Does the same for a woman. You can imagine the attraction here. 500 00:21:27,578 --> 00:21:30,538 All right, let's move on. I don't need this image here. 501 00:21:30,539 --> 00:21:33,833 Susan, are you ready for your big meeting with Congress? 502 00:21:33,834 --> 00:21:35,211 I am so excited. 503 00:21:35,836 --> 00:21:39,589 We have drafted an amendment we're presenting to Congress 504 00:21:39,590 --> 00:21:41,508 for women to have the right to vote. 505 00:21:41,509 --> 00:21:44,428 - Here, here! - Yes, yes, yes! 506 00:21:45,554 --> 00:21:47,972 Did you hear her? Are you listening to this? 507 00:21:47,973 --> 00:21:49,349 - Yes. - That's a good one. 508 00:21:49,350 --> 00:21:50,517 - That's funny. - Yeah. 509 00:21:50,518 --> 00:21:52,936 - And what's so funny about it? - You can't be serious. 510 00:21:52,937 --> 00:21:54,270 I am very serious. 511 00:21:54,271 --> 00:21:56,231 I've spent my life working towards this. 512 00:21:56,232 --> 00:21:59,776 - This is a sad day indeed. - It's absurd on the surface. 513 00:21:59,777 --> 00:22:01,152 Women can't vote. 514 00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:03,112 Why shouldn't women have the right to vote? 515 00:22:03,113 --> 00:22:05,824 We're doing you a favor by not allowing you to vote. 516 00:22:05,825 --> 00:22:09,244 Men and women are created equal under God. 517 00:22:09,245 --> 00:22:12,121 - Yes! - We need to have equal rights. 518 00:22:12,122 --> 00:22:14,165 - Come on, Susie. - Susan. 519 00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:15,500 Come on, Susan. 520 00:22:15,501 --> 00:22:17,377 Why shouldn't women have the right to vote? 521 00:22:17,378 --> 00:22:19,004 - Exactly, Lawrence, why? - Yeah. Why? 522 00:22:19,129 --> 00:22:22,257 I think I have an idea. Got an idea. 523 00:22:22,258 --> 00:22:24,467 I would posit this regarding a woman's right to vote. 524 00:22:24,468 --> 00:22:28,555 I think if a woman is attractive and capable of landing a man, 525 00:22:28,556 --> 00:22:30,348 she should not be able to vote. 526 00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:33,101 A beautiful woman, like Edith, she should be home, 527 00:22:33,102 --> 00:22:34,978 - cooking, taking care of the children. - Yes. 528 00:22:34,979 --> 00:22:38,273 But others who have no appeal whatsoever 529 00:22:38,274 --> 00:22:42,235 to the opposite sex, viragos, harridans, witches, 530 00:22:42,236 --> 00:22:45,321 spinsters, those women should be able to vote. 531 00:22:45,322 --> 00:22:47,782 - This is a good compromise. - That seems reasonable. 532 00:22:47,783 --> 00:22:49,492 Who is making this determination? 533 00:22:49,493 --> 00:22:51,953 - I'm happy to step up and do it. - And why you? 534 00:22:51,954 --> 00:22:54,497 - Really, any man could do it. - Any man with vision. 535 00:22:54,498 --> 00:22:56,041 For example, Edith. 536 00:22:56,625 --> 00:22:59,753 I'm terribly sorry, but, my darling, you cannot vote. 537 00:23:00,588 --> 00:23:03,381 - Thank you. - Eleanor, you can't vote either. 538 00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:05,466 - Martha, no vote for you. - What? 539 00:23:05,467 --> 00:23:08,177 - Too lovely. - Clara, so sorry. 540 00:23:08,178 --> 00:23:09,596 And you, Susan. 541 00:23:09,597 --> 00:23:13,349 - You... You can vote. - What? Because what? 542 00:23:13,350 --> 00:23:16,352 You know, because... Yeah. You know. 543 00:23:16,353 --> 00:23:18,730 Thank you, Lawrence, for your permission, but I don't need it. 544 00:23:18,731 --> 00:23:21,232 Elizabeth Cady Stanton and I have drafted the amendment, 545 00:23:21,233 --> 00:23:25,820 and hopefully most men in Congress do not feel the way that you do, Lawrence. 546 00:23:25,821 --> 00:23:29,324 I notice you spend a lot of time with this Elizabeth Cady Stanton. 547 00:23:29,325 --> 00:23:32,076 Oh, yeah. We're very, very close. We've been working together for years. 548 00:23:32,077 --> 00:23:34,245 Yes, you're very close. 549 00:23:34,246 --> 00:23:35,872 Yeah, she helped me write the amendment. 550 00:23:35,873 --> 00:23:40,002 One might say very, very close. 551 00:23:40,753 --> 00:23:45,006 You know, I'm starting to feel that maybe it's time for you to leave, Lawrence. 552 00:23:45,007 --> 00:23:47,091 - I think we should take a vote. - Let's take a vote. 553 00:23:47,092 --> 00:23:49,886 Who thinks it's time for Lawrence to leave? 554 00:23:49,887 --> 00:23:52,055 No, no, no. Just the men can vote, of course. 555 00:23:52,056 --> 00:23:53,890 Edith, forgive me, 556 00:23:53,891 --> 00:23:57,727 but I think you should get the fuck out of my house, Lawrence. 557 00:23:57,728 --> 00:23:59,562 You know, you ate before you came, 558 00:23:59,563 --> 00:24:01,773 you don't like the forks, you don't like the food, 559 00:24:01,774 --> 00:24:03,107 you drink at my table, 560 00:24:03,108 --> 00:24:04,776 and now you don't want us to vote. 561 00:24:04,777 --> 00:24:07,278 In this house, women have the right to vote. 562 00:24:07,279 --> 00:24:08,404 Get the fuck out! 563 00:24:08,405 --> 00:24:10,823 - What? You're kicking me out? - Get the fuck out! 564 00:24:10,824 --> 00:24:14,243 Fine. I'm leaving, Susie. Come on, Edith. Let's go. 565 00:24:14,244 --> 00:24:16,871 I'm sorry, Lawrence. She's my sister. 566 00:24:16,872 --> 00:24:18,248 Now get the fuck out! 567 00:24:19,375 --> 00:24:20,501 Okay. 568 00:24:22,086 --> 00:24:24,338 Maybe now we can have a nice dinner. 569 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:27,006 So... Here he comes. 570 00:24:27,007 --> 00:24:29,008 And one more thing, Susan B. Anthony. 571 00:24:29,009 --> 00:24:31,470 You don't have to tell me what the B stands for. 572 00:24:32,179 --> 00:24:34,180 And little fork you. 573 00:24:34,181 --> 00:24:36,141 - Little fork you. - Out! 574 00:24:46,443 --> 00:24:48,611 On July 20th, 1969, 575 00:24:48,612 --> 00:24:53,950 Neil Armstrong and Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin became the first men to walk on the moon. 576 00:24:53,951 --> 00:24:57,286 Armstrong went first, uttering the famous words, 577 00:24:57,287 --> 00:25:03,168 "That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." 578 00:25:03,752 --> 00:25:07,046 It was a crowning achievement in human exploration, 579 00:25:07,047 --> 00:25:09,340 made even more remarkable when you consider 580 00:25:09,341 --> 00:25:13,469 they were hurtling through space for four days in a tiny metal capsule 581 00:25:13,470 --> 00:25:17,724 controlled by a NASA computer a million times less powerful 582 00:25:17,725 --> 00:25:19,559 than your smartphone. 583 00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:21,477 Throughout the journey, Neil and Buzz 584 00:25:21,478 --> 00:25:25,314 were in constant communication with Mission Control in Houston, 585 00:25:25,315 --> 00:25:28,067 and new tapes have recently been released 586 00:25:28,068 --> 00:25:31,321 that show their voyage in a different light. 587 00:25:32,614 --> 00:25:35,617 Altitude now 21,000 feet. Still looking very good. 588 00:25:36,660 --> 00:25:40,038 Houston, give us a reading on the 1202 alarm. 589 00:25:40,039 --> 00:25:43,416 Okay, that looks good there, Neil. Altitude now 21,000 feet. 590 00:25:43,417 --> 00:25:45,084 You're looking good to us, Eagle. 591 00:25:45,085 --> 00:25:46,253 Roger that. 592 00:25:47,212 --> 00:25:49,423 Hey, what'd you get the launch guys for a gift? 593 00:25:51,300 --> 00:25:52,717 - What-- - Launch guys for a gift? 594 00:25:52,718 --> 00:25:54,719 - What are you talking about? - I got 'em putters. 595 00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:57,389 You got the launch guys a gift? Are you kidding me? 596 00:25:57,931 --> 00:25:58,974 Why'd you do that? 597 00:25:59,641 --> 00:26:01,350 Well, they're sending us to the moon. 598 00:26:01,351 --> 00:26:02,810 Well, I didn't get them anything. 599 00:26:02,811 --> 00:26:04,229 - It's fine. - No. 600 00:26:05,355 --> 00:26:08,191 They must think I'm some kind of cheapskate 601 00:26:08,192 --> 00:26:10,401 - or ingrate or something. - Nah, I'm sure they don't think that. 602 00:26:10,402 --> 00:26:14,864 Well, it seems odd to me that you got them something and I didn't. 603 00:26:14,865 --> 00:26:16,365 I'm sure they're gonna be talking about it. 604 00:26:16,366 --> 00:26:19,327 When you go to somebody's house for dinner, do you show up empty-handed? 605 00:26:19,328 --> 00:26:20,495 Yes. 606 00:26:20,496 --> 00:26:22,580 - Well, that's bad. - Why is it bad? 607 00:26:22,581 --> 00:26:25,458 If I have to stop off to buy something on the way to the dinner, 608 00:26:25,459 --> 00:26:27,668 I don't even want to go to the dinner. Don't even invite me. 609 00:26:27,669 --> 00:26:29,545 All right. I didn't mean anything by it, all right? 610 00:26:29,546 --> 00:26:31,005 It was just a-- It was a nice gesture. 611 00:26:31,006 --> 00:26:33,925 Yeah, exactly. That's the kind of thing I never think of. 612 00:26:33,926 --> 00:26:36,094 I need somebody to tell me about their gesture 613 00:26:36,095 --> 00:26:37,678 so I can repeat their gesture. 614 00:26:37,679 --> 00:26:40,473 - I never think of gestures. - It was just a little something. 615 00:26:40,474 --> 00:26:42,309 You got the launch guys a gift. 616 00:26:43,352 --> 00:26:46,813 Altitude 4,200. You're a go for landing, over. 617 00:26:46,814 --> 00:26:48,981 Roger. Go for landing, 4,000 feet. 618 00:26:48,982 --> 00:26:50,817 - It wouldn't have killed you to tell me. - Sorry. 619 00:26:50,818 --> 00:26:52,443 I don't see how you couldn't have told me. 620 00:26:52,444 --> 00:26:55,488 - Well, get 'em a return gift. - A return gift? 621 00:26:55,489 --> 00:26:57,698 Yeah. Grab 'em something from the moon. Bring back a rock. 622 00:26:57,699 --> 00:26:58,908 - A rock? - Yeah, get 'em rocks. 623 00:26:58,909 --> 00:27:01,327 What, are you fucking nuts? I'm keeping the rocks for myself. 624 00:27:01,328 --> 00:27:02,870 You're gonna keep every rock from the moon? 625 00:27:02,871 --> 00:27:04,998 Yeah. I'm gonna be taking a lot of rocks. 626 00:27:05,332 --> 00:27:06,541 Lots of them. 627 00:27:06,542 --> 00:27:09,710 - What, are you gonna swallow the rocks? - No, I brought a laundry bag. 628 00:27:09,711 --> 00:27:12,630 You brought a laundry bag for rocks? That's not very scientific. 629 00:27:12,631 --> 00:27:14,215 I'm gonna put the rocks in the laundry bag. 630 00:27:14,216 --> 00:27:15,716 These are moon rocks, you dodo. 631 00:27:15,717 --> 00:27:17,510 - They haven't been tested. - Hey, listen. 632 00:27:17,511 --> 00:27:19,637 We can make millions of dollars from these rocks. 633 00:27:19,638 --> 00:27:20,763 Get smart, will you? 634 00:27:20,764 --> 00:27:23,057 You can make millions of dollars in speaking engagements. 635 00:27:23,058 --> 00:27:25,184 You don't need to bring back a bunch of rocks from the moon 636 00:27:25,185 --> 00:27:27,436 - and just give them out or sell them. - Okay. 637 00:27:27,437 --> 00:27:29,605 You better not say a fucking thing. 638 00:27:29,606 --> 00:27:32,358 I apologize. I did not mean to make you upset. 639 00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:34,652 - I don't know what to tell you. - Well, it pisses me off. 640 00:27:34,653 --> 00:27:36,195 - I mean-- - All right, let's forget it. 641 00:27:36,196 --> 00:27:38,156 - Let's forget it. - Yeah. Can we just take a second? 642 00:27:38,157 --> 00:27:40,158 We're about to land on the moon. I mean, come on. 643 00:27:40,159 --> 00:27:43,035 We're landing on the moon! 644 00:27:43,036 --> 00:27:44,745 We are landing on the moon! 645 00:27:44,746 --> 00:27:47,415 Roger, understand go for landing, 3,000 feet. 646 00:27:47,416 --> 00:27:48,666 Roger. 647 00:27:48,667 --> 00:27:50,835 Descending 3,000 feet, over. 648 00:27:50,836 --> 00:27:51,961 Good radar data. 649 00:27:51,962 --> 00:27:54,339 We're now on approach phase. Everything looking good. 650 00:27:54,882 --> 00:27:56,591 Hey, by the way, 651 00:27:56,592 --> 00:27:58,259 I think I came up with a pretty good line 652 00:27:58,260 --> 00:28:01,429 for when I step on the moon for the first time. 653 00:28:01,430 --> 00:28:03,264 - All right? - What? What do you mean? 654 00:28:03,265 --> 00:28:05,308 Well, I'm gonna be the first man to ever step on the moon. 655 00:28:05,309 --> 00:28:07,935 I gotta say something profound, something with some real gravitas, 656 00:28:07,936 --> 00:28:09,478 and I think I thought of something. 657 00:28:09,479 --> 00:28:11,147 Who said you're taking the first step? 658 00:28:11,148 --> 00:28:12,983 - They did. - Who's they? 659 00:28:14,026 --> 00:28:15,568 NASA, the launch guys. 660 00:28:15,569 --> 00:28:17,904 So now you get to step on the moon first? 661 00:28:17,905 --> 00:28:19,197 Nobody told me about this. 662 00:28:19,198 --> 00:28:21,199 They told me. They didn't tell you? 663 00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:22,491 No, no, they didn't. 664 00:28:22,492 --> 00:28:24,328 Anyway, so what do you think of this? 665 00:28:24,995 --> 00:28:29,624 "That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." 666 00:28:29,625 --> 00:28:32,126 That stinks. Boy, does that stink. 667 00:28:32,127 --> 00:28:33,961 - That's terrible. - What are you talking about? 668 00:28:33,962 --> 00:28:35,129 That is so trite. 669 00:28:35,130 --> 00:28:37,548 I could've come up with a much better line 670 00:28:37,549 --> 00:28:40,259 than that boring "one small step for a man." 671 00:28:40,260 --> 00:28:41,552 You can do better? 672 00:28:41,553 --> 00:28:43,930 - What do you got? - I can do better in my sleep. 673 00:28:43,931 --> 00:28:46,558 Give me a line then, if that one's no good. 674 00:28:48,101 --> 00:28:53,565 "Fly me to the moon and let me play among the stars." 675 00:28:54,983 --> 00:28:56,901 - Like the song? - What song? 676 00:28:56,902 --> 00:28:58,694 It's a song called "Fly Me to the Moon." 677 00:28:58,695 --> 00:29:00,279 - "Fly Me to the Moon"? - Sinatra. 678 00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:02,114 - Never heard of it. - You've never heard the song, 679 00:29:02,115 --> 00:29:04,408 but you've quoted the lyrics perfectly? 680 00:29:04,409 --> 00:29:07,287 Why don't you just jump down on the moon and start singing "Summer Wind"? 681 00:29:07,996 --> 00:29:10,081 "Fly me... Fly me to the moon, let me play..." 682 00:29:10,082 --> 00:29:12,333 - "Let me see what spring is like on..." - "Spring is like on." 683 00:29:12,334 --> 00:29:14,043 - "...on Jupiter and Mars." - "Jupiter and Mars." 684 00:29:14,044 --> 00:29:15,254 Oh, yes, it-- you're-- 685 00:29:15,379 --> 00:29:16,796 - Shit. You're right. It is a song. - Yep. 686 00:29:16,797 --> 00:29:18,089 Maybe when you land on the moon, 687 00:29:18,090 --> 00:29:20,092 you can tell 'em, "Hey, if I can make it here, 688 00:29:20,217 --> 00:29:21,592 I'll make it anywhere." 689 00:29:21,593 --> 00:29:24,595 Okay, how about this? I pick up a rock, okay? 690 00:29:24,596 --> 00:29:27,975 I pretend I'm eating it. I go... "Gouda!" 691 00:29:28,642 --> 00:29:31,227 - "Gouda"? - Yeah, Gouda. The cheese. 692 00:29:31,228 --> 00:29:32,728 Yeah, no, I got it. 693 00:29:32,729 --> 00:29:35,481 It's funny. You have no sense of hu-- You know, that's your thing. 694 00:29:35,482 --> 00:29:36,941 You have no sense of humor at all. 695 00:29:36,942 --> 00:29:39,235 I could tell joke after joke, you'd get nothing. 696 00:29:39,236 --> 00:29:41,487 - What? - They should've asked me to do the line 697 00:29:41,488 --> 00:29:42,905 because I'm creative. 698 00:29:42,906 --> 00:29:45,074 Yeah, you're so creative, you plagiarize Sinatra. 699 00:29:45,075 --> 00:29:46,993 You know, I did a lot of plays in high school. 700 00:29:46,994 --> 00:29:48,911 - Okay. - I played Robert Browning 701 00:29:48,912 --> 00:29:51,706 in The Barretts of Wimpole Street. I was fantastic. 702 00:29:51,707 --> 00:29:53,750 Just because you did The Barretts of Wimpole Street 703 00:29:53,875 --> 00:29:55,668 in high school doesn't mean you're creative. I'm-- 704 00:29:55,669 --> 00:29:57,629 Yeah. And you know what? I was written about the next day 705 00:29:57,754 --> 00:30:00,548 in the school newspaper. "Buzz Aldrin Is Robert Browning," 706 00:30:00,549 --> 00:30:02,049 and they capitalized "is." 707 00:30:02,050 --> 00:30:03,217 Do you remember any lines? 708 00:30:03,218 --> 00:30:05,511 Maybe you could say one when you walk on the moon. 709 00:30:05,512 --> 00:30:08,264 Eagle, Houston, you are go to powered descent. 710 00:30:08,265 --> 00:30:09,849 Roger. Prepare for landing. 711 00:30:09,850 --> 00:30:11,685 We're go, same time, we're go. 712 00:30:12,269 --> 00:30:13,853 You fucker. 713 00:30:13,854 --> 00:30:16,605 Now I know why you gave them that gift. 714 00:30:16,606 --> 00:30:19,483 'Cause you wanted to set foot on the moon first. 715 00:30:19,484 --> 00:30:21,485 - What? - You bribed your way onto the moon! 716 00:30:21,486 --> 00:30:23,529 I gave them a gift because that's what you do. 717 00:30:23,530 --> 00:30:26,574 Who gets a launch team gifts? I'll bet nobody's ever given them a gift. 718 00:30:26,575 --> 00:30:28,451 No one's ever been sent to the moon before. 719 00:30:28,452 --> 00:30:30,036 Oh, my God. You're so desperate. 720 00:30:30,037 --> 00:30:31,662 - You're such a phony. - I'm a phony? 721 00:30:31,663 --> 00:30:32,913 - Yes. - Edwin. 722 00:30:32,914 --> 00:30:34,749 Calling yourself "Buzz." Why? 723 00:30:34,750 --> 00:30:37,209 'Cause it sounds cool? You're Edwin. Edwin Aldrin. 724 00:30:37,210 --> 00:30:40,880 I'd change it too 'cause the I-N on both names sounds weird. 725 00:30:40,881 --> 00:30:42,757 - Oh, I'm so sorry. Yeah. - So you give yourself a name 726 00:30:42,758 --> 00:30:44,216 - for like a ten-year-old boy. - Oh, sure. 727 00:30:44,217 --> 00:30:45,635 - Yeah. - "Buzz." 728 00:30:45,802 --> 00:30:47,470 Let me tell you something, schmucko, okay? 729 00:30:47,471 --> 00:30:50,389 When I was five years old, instead of ringing my friend's doorbells, 730 00:30:50,390 --> 00:30:53,684 I would stand outside and go, "Buzz, buzz, buzz," 731 00:30:53,685 --> 00:30:56,187 and that name stuck! All the mothers loved it! 732 00:30:56,188 --> 00:30:57,688 "Buzz is here!" 733 00:30:57,689 --> 00:30:59,023 I don't think that's true. 734 00:30:59,024 --> 00:31:00,107 You think I'm making it up? 735 00:31:00,108 --> 00:31:02,109 All right. You know what? I think you're full of lies. 736 00:31:02,110 --> 00:31:05,071 - I'm full of lies? - Yes! You told me four times you had sex 737 00:31:05,072 --> 00:31:06,655 with Rocky Marciano's daughter. 738 00:31:06,656 --> 00:31:08,657 Well, I did have sex with Rocky Marciano's daughter, 739 00:31:08,658 --> 00:31:11,202 - and it was fantastic. - There's no way Rocky Marciano 740 00:31:11,203 --> 00:31:14,038 would let anyone like you, named Buzz, near his daughter. 741 00:31:14,039 --> 00:31:17,249 Rocky Marciano met me. He really liked me. 742 00:31:17,250 --> 00:31:20,753 So don't tell me that Rocky Marciano wouldn't let me have sex with Lucy. 743 00:31:20,754 --> 00:31:23,214 'Cause he did let me, and so did Lucy. 744 00:31:23,215 --> 00:31:26,425 He "let you" have sex with his daughter? That already sounds-- 745 00:31:26,426 --> 00:31:28,052 - Well, he-- - What kind of creepy arrangement 746 00:31:28,053 --> 00:31:30,137 did you have with Rocky Marciano? 747 00:31:30,138 --> 00:31:32,056 Eagle, you all right up there? 748 00:31:32,057 --> 00:31:35,810 Just... descending. Seven hundred feet. 749 00:31:35,811 --> 00:31:37,395 Eagle, you're go for landing, over. 750 00:31:37,396 --> 00:31:39,271 I'll tell you what, Neil. I don't believe 751 00:31:39,272 --> 00:31:40,856 - that NASA told you... - Three hundred feet. 752 00:31:40,857 --> 00:31:42,400 ...that you're gonna be first on the moon. 753 00:31:42,401 --> 00:31:44,735 - Yes, they did. I'm not a liar. - They didn't. No, they didn't. 754 00:31:44,736 --> 00:31:49,449 - You're a liar! - You're a liar! 755 00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:53,869 We copy you down, Eagle. 756 00:31:53,870 --> 00:31:55,747 Tranquility Base here. 757 00:31:55,997 --> 00:31:57,958 - The Eagle has land-- - The Eagle has landed. 758 00:31:58,083 --> 00:31:59,959 - The Eagle has landed-- - Eagle's landed. 759 00:31:59,960 --> 00:32:01,419 The Eagle's land... 760 00:32:01,420 --> 00:32:03,754 - The Eagle's land-- - We've landed. We've landed. 761 00:32:03,755 --> 00:32:05,132 Yeah, we land-- Yeah. 762 00:32:06,007 --> 00:32:08,510 Okay, engine stop. Looking good, over. 763 00:32:09,136 --> 00:32:11,096 We're a go. We're a go. 764 00:32:16,852 --> 00:32:19,353 Roger, the EVA is progressing beautifully. 765 00:32:19,354 --> 00:32:21,772 Stop it! You're ruining the moon landing! 766 00:32:21,773 --> 00:32:23,316 We're on TV! 767 00:32:24,484 --> 00:32:26,318 Go back inside! 768 00:32:26,319 --> 00:32:29,113 That's one small step for a man, 769 00:32:29,114 --> 00:32:31,574 one giant leap for mankind. 770 00:32:31,575 --> 00:32:33,742 - Boom! - Come back here! 771 00:32:33,743 --> 00:32:37,247 You son of a bitch! 772 00:32:39,749 --> 00:32:41,292 You're ruining it, Edwin! 773 00:32:41,293 --> 00:32:42,919 It's Buzz! 774 00:32:45,380 --> 00:32:46,714 You cocksucker! 775 00:32:46,715 --> 00:32:48,966 - You're too cheap! - You got the launch team a gift? 776 00:32:48,967 --> 00:32:50,092 Those guys hate you, 777 00:32:50,093 --> 00:32:51,677 that's why they didn't want you to go first. 778 00:32:51,678 --> 00:32:54,305 - You ass kisser! - Get off me! 779 00:32:54,306 --> 00:32:55,307 Hey! 780 00:32:57,934 --> 00:33:00,270 My glasses! I hate you!