1 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:13,888 There's someone I've been thinking about 2 00:00:13,972 --> 00:00:16,141 -Excited? Nervous? -Very excited. Of course. 3 00:00:16,224 --> 00:00:18,018 I've been waiting for this forever. 4 00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:20,729 Let's fall in love while we're young 5 00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:22,689 I got you. 6 00:00:22,772 --> 00:00:26,359 Let's get crazy, let's have fun Let's fall in love while we're young 7 00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:28,987 I haven't really felt like this about anyone. 8 00:00:29,070 --> 00:00:32,782 I am 38 years young. 9 00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:37,287 I am 22. 10 00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:40,915 Trying to roll with that whole "age is just a number" thing. 11 00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:43,043 Let's fall in love while we're young 12 00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:46,212 I really don't know if you're ready for this one. You ready? 13 00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:47,255 I'm 60. 14 00:00:48,256 --> 00:00:50,050 Let's fall in love while we're young 15 00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,135 Oh my gosh! 16 00:00:52,218 --> 00:00:54,637 Thirty, forty, fifty, sixty. 17 00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,473 Yeah, he's 33 years older than me. 18 00:00:57,515 --> 00:01:00,268 Jorge's literally the same age as my parents. 19 00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:07,275 I never wanna be surprised about something you've done. 20 00:01:07,358 --> 00:01:10,820 I came here with you not to feel alone. 21 00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:13,448 I feel like you're not attracted to me. 22 00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:17,702 -We're kind of in a friend zone right now. -Okay. 23 00:01:18,453 --> 00:01:22,248 Is he the right person? Did I pick the right person? 24 00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:24,959 -Okay, I'm really done talking. -Okay. 25 00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:27,378 Can I get this mic off me, please? 26 00:01:27,462 --> 00:01:30,924 This connection is not gonna be easy to find. 27 00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:34,260 And I know I won't find this again. 28 00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:36,054 Feeling so cold 29 00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:41,226 Starting tomorrow, you are getting visitors. 30 00:01:41,309 --> 00:01:43,853 Your friends, your families. 31 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:46,231 -Sara. Theresa. -Hi, I'm Sara. 32 00:01:46,314 --> 00:01:48,900 He's never dated anyone this much older. 33 00:01:48,983 --> 00:01:50,985 I hope it works out well for them, but… 34 00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:52,654 -Well… -It's… It's weird. It's weird. 35 00:01:52,737 --> 00:01:58,159 Being 23 and potentially having two immediate children? 36 00:01:58,243 --> 00:01:59,077 Yeah. 37 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:03,832 I'm leaving everybody and everything I've worked for. 38 00:02:03,915 --> 00:02:05,542 What the fuck am I doing? 39 00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:07,460 I'm just exhausted, I'm overwhelmed 40 00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:10,255 because I feel like I can't be myself with you. 41 00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:19,097 Integrating a 22-year-old girl into my life is definitely concerning. 42 00:02:19,681 --> 00:02:21,599 Is there a future with us? 43 00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:23,685 It's decision time. 44 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:27,355 Do you commit to taking this leap together? 45 00:02:29,941 --> 00:02:32,861 Or do you choose a different path? Alone. 46 00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:37,073 That sucks. 47 00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:47,417 I wasn't fine Till you came into my view 48 00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:53,047 Thought I was going insane Till I found you 49 00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:55,675 Did you get everything out of the bathroom? 50 00:02:55,758 --> 00:02:57,802 But I'll check the other rooms. 51 00:02:57,886 --> 00:02:59,429 -You work on your-- -Suits. 52 00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:02,724 -I think you need to get a garment bag. -Yeah. 53 00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:05,852 I feel nervous, anxious. 54 00:03:05,935 --> 00:03:09,522 This is the last time I'm gonna see her before the commitment ceremony. 55 00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:11,399 Everything I can do, I did. 56 00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:16,362 I'm super nervous about my alone time, and, you know, 57 00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:19,490 what is that alone time gonna lead me to think? 58 00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:23,620 Part of me wants to commit to Vanessa, 59 00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:26,331 and then part of me is like, is this right? 60 00:03:26,414 --> 00:03:30,460 Is this up and down too much for us to handle? You know? 61 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:35,632 And my fear of commitment continues to be my fear of commitment. 62 00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:37,717 Right? And so that's… 63 00:03:39,802 --> 00:03:40,803 a scary thought. 64 00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:43,848 -How you doing? -I got all your stuff ready for you. 65 00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:44,766 Thank you. 66 00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:47,352 -How you feeling? -Okay. How are you? 67 00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:48,311 I'm good. 68 00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:53,942 -I'm sad. I don't want you to leave. -I know. I don't even know what to say. 69 00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:55,610 -I know. -It's been fun. 70 00:03:55,693 --> 00:04:00,240 The last few days with you has been, like, better than I could ever dream of. 71 00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:04,369 I mean, you're one of the most amazing girls I've ever met in my entire life. 72 00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:07,205 -Thank you. -It's hard to put it into words, right? 73 00:04:07,288 --> 00:04:12,710 I think it was one of the most amazing, beautiful things I've ever experienced. 74 00:04:13,544 --> 00:04:16,839 You know, it's weird kind of closing this chapter and… 75 00:04:18,007 --> 00:04:19,717 I… I feel like we're breaking up. 76 00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:21,803 -This is like a breakup. -No, we're not! 77 00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:26,849 I don't know what to say. What if I cry? 78 00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:29,936 Don't. 79 00:04:30,019 --> 00:04:30,937 Don't cry? 80 00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:32,021 -No. -Okay. 81 00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:33,773 You'll be okay. 82 00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:36,734 -You look amazing. -Thanks. 83 00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:40,196 Aw. 84 00:04:42,740 --> 00:04:43,658 Okay? 85 00:04:43,741 --> 00:04:44,575 Okay. 86 00:04:45,201 --> 00:04:46,828 -No crying? -Mm-hmm. 87 00:04:46,911 --> 00:04:48,413 -Is it okay? -Yeah. 88 00:04:48,496 --> 00:04:49,872 -Promise? -Mm-hmm. 89 00:04:52,166 --> 00:04:53,459 I'm here for you. 90 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,461 Yeah. 91 00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:57,255 Okay? 92 00:04:57,338 --> 00:04:59,966 I just have PTSD, I think. 93 00:05:00,049 --> 00:05:01,926 -What? -I don't know. 94 00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:05,972 Just with the history of my relationships not working out, you know? 95 00:05:06,055 --> 00:05:11,978 And I feel like this is just another failed attempt, you know. 96 00:05:12,061 --> 00:05:14,731 Like, it's not you. I don't wanna project it on you. 97 00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:16,774 It's not you at all. It's just… 98 00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:19,986 I've just put myself out there before and 99 00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:22,030 only to get hurt. 100 00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:25,908 And I just hope, like, this doesn't have the same outcome. 101 00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:27,160 That's scary. 102 00:05:29,078 --> 00:05:34,125 Something inside me is way too scared To care about you like this 103 00:05:34,208 --> 00:05:35,710 Coming into this with Logan, 104 00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:40,757 I had so many reservations because I had been so hurt before. 105 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:42,550 So there is this guard up, like, 106 00:05:42,633 --> 00:05:44,761 "I'll be okay. I'll be okay," you know? 107 00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:46,304 And maybe I won't be okay. 108 00:05:46,888 --> 00:05:51,100 I just hope I chose right this time, and I picked the right person, 109 00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,727 and I feel like you are. 110 00:05:52,810 --> 00:05:55,730 And I hope that you feel the same about me. 111 00:05:56,397 --> 00:05:58,608 Yeah, I mean, I do. 112 00:05:59,233 --> 00:06:00,651 It's really scary to 113 00:06:01,402 --> 00:06:04,405 not put yourself out there for this many years, 114 00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:06,741 get this close to someone, 115 00:06:06,824 --> 00:06:11,037 only for yourself to be devastated all over again 116 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:13,414 and for the whole world to see. 117 00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:15,416 -I'll see you soon, okay? -Okay. 118 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:16,626 -Okay. -Take care of yourself. 119 00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:21,506 To see an older woman with a man 20 years younger, that's rare. 120 00:06:21,589 --> 00:06:22,882 It's very rare. 121 00:06:22,965 --> 00:06:27,553 And it's like, am I delusional to think that it would even work, you know? 122 00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:31,182 Am I delusional to put my heart out there? 123 00:06:32,266 --> 00:06:35,520 I mean, he's, like, in the prime of his life right now, honestly. 124 00:06:35,603 --> 00:06:40,066 I've been here before, darling I don't think you'll stay 125 00:06:40,149 --> 00:06:44,112 And why would he give that up for someone 20 years older than him? 126 00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:48,199 I'll hold that I'll hold that, I'll hold on 127 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:52,453 But I hope you prove me wrong 128 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,460 Out of my dreams 129 00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:00,795 You're leaving. 130 00:07:00,878 --> 00:07:03,548 I know. I'm trying to make sure I don't forget anything. 131 00:07:03,631 --> 00:07:05,258 But you're forgetting me. 132 00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:10,555 I think that we need this little bit of separation because we haven't had it. 133 00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:14,308 And this is the first time that I think I'm gonna be able to look at this 134 00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:17,103 from the outside, make a clear decision. 135 00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:20,565 Clearly me and Leah have had ups and downs since we moved in together. 136 00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:24,777 But at the same time, there's been much blessings from this relationship. 137 00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:26,154 Even during the difficult times, 138 00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:28,823 the care and the love for each other has always been constant. 139 00:07:28,906 --> 00:07:32,994 And I think that it's very clear 140 00:07:33,077 --> 00:07:35,455 that I care so much for her. 141 00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:39,125 So the question is, is that-- Does the good outweigh the bad? 142 00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:43,087 And… and are these good moments enough to continue in this relationship? 143 00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:45,840 Give me a hug. 144 00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:52,138 Thank you for being you. Thank you for making me a better person. 145 00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:54,098 You're welcome. 146 00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:55,933 No, seriously. 147 00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:02,064 -Why are you looking at me like that? -Because you're leaving. 148 00:08:03,524 --> 00:08:06,152 We didn't even get to dance yet. 149 00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:11,032 Yeah. 150 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:13,534 I have a lot of thinking-- 151 00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:16,787 -We both have a lot of thinking to do. -I know. I… 152 00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:19,040 -Oh! -Mmm! 153 00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:25,671 I'm gonna miss… I'm gonna miss you a little bit. 154 00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:28,257 I'm gonna miss you too. I think more than you think. 155 00:08:28,841 --> 00:08:30,426 -You think? -Mm-hmm. 156 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:33,221 You're not gonna be able to sleep now because you'll be thinking of me. 157 00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:35,056 -Maybe. I don't know about that. -What? 158 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,850 -I might be able to sleep. -No, you won't. 159 00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:39,685 Give me a kiss. 160 00:08:41,979 --> 00:08:43,981 It's like bittersweet this morning. 161 00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:45,775 -All right. I'll see you. -I'll see you. 162 00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:49,028 With the commitment ceremony coming up, it's gonna be difficult. 163 00:08:49,111 --> 00:08:52,615 We're still debating on how we're even gonna make it work here, right, 164 00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:55,076 let alone commit to each other. 165 00:08:55,159 --> 00:08:56,327 I know he likes me, 166 00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:59,163 and we're leaving off in a great space right now. 167 00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:00,164 But yeah, 168 00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:03,543 I don't wanna put any pressure on it 'cause I don't know. 169 00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:06,170 I don't know what the future holds for us. 170 00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:07,171 Whew! 171 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,718 How are you feeling? 172 00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:14,595 -About what? -Leaving. 173 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:15,513 Mm-hmm. 174 00:09:15,596 --> 00:09:18,683 I feel like I've been the one that brings up, 175 00:09:18,766 --> 00:09:20,977 you know, some of the more challenging things, 176 00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:25,231 and we don't know how we're gonna communicate after this. 177 00:09:25,314 --> 00:09:28,526 Like, we've only ever been in this bubble. 178 00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:31,571 So we don't know what it's like to text or call, 179 00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:34,115 or I've never done long-distance before. 180 00:09:34,198 --> 00:09:38,494 So those things naturally, I feel like, are things that I'm thinking about. 181 00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:43,708 Yeah, I'm glad you brought it, um… up 182 00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:47,128 because I just wasn't even thinking about it that way at all. 183 00:09:47,211 --> 00:09:50,089 I think I'm just someone that is very realistic. 184 00:09:50,172 --> 00:09:52,758 -And you know… -Yeah. No, I understand. 185 00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:57,096 You know that this has to end at some point and just… 186 00:09:58,055 --> 00:10:02,226 You know, I mean, I wish we could stay in this little bubble forever, 187 00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:05,062 but you know, we have to say goodbye. 188 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:09,442 The fact that the next time I am going to see Andrew 189 00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:13,571 is the commitment ceremony gives me a little bit of anxiety, honestly. 190 00:10:13,654 --> 00:10:17,700 Um, I know he's in his head and I don't blame him too much 191 00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:20,119 because those doubts were in the back of my mind. 192 00:10:20,202 --> 00:10:22,663 I just wasn't really vocalizing them. 193 00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:25,333 There is a part of me that's afraid that 194 00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:29,211 the age gap between Andrew and I will just be too much. 195 00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:32,715 And yeah, I have a fear that ultimately 196 00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:36,552 that will just be too overwhelming for both of us. 197 00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:41,807 Let's run into nirvana 'Cause now I can feel… 198 00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:44,852 Okay. 199 00:10:47,271 --> 00:10:48,272 Bye-bye. 200 00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:50,066 See ya. 201 00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:51,192 See ya. 202 00:10:51,859 --> 00:10:53,861 For you, now 203 00:10:55,946 --> 00:10:57,948 For you, now 204 00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:05,414 And I can feel love 205 00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:26,352 Hey. 206 00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:28,521 Oh my God. 207 00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:30,356 Aw. 208 00:11:43,327 --> 00:11:45,079 -These are beautiful. -Mm-hmm 209 00:11:46,747 --> 00:11:50,000 Well, I will think of you every time I look at them. 210 00:11:51,168 --> 00:11:53,587 I was thinking about that this time away 211 00:11:54,588 --> 00:11:57,591 I love supporting you, 212 00:11:57,675 --> 00:12:01,345 and I love being here for you when… 213 00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,182 you're going through some shit. 214 00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:07,017 So I'll be thinking about you. 215 00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:10,104 Um… 216 00:12:10,187 --> 00:12:15,943 I'm gonna have some time just to, like, think and get myself, like, more centered. 217 00:12:16,026 --> 00:12:17,528 -Um… -Mm-hmm. 218 00:12:17,611 --> 00:12:20,531 And I'm gonna miss you for sure. 219 00:12:20,614 --> 00:12:24,118 We've gotten so close in such a short period of time, 220 00:12:24,201 --> 00:12:26,996 and living together was amazing. 221 00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:29,540 Um, I'm gonna miss that for sure. 222 00:12:30,332 --> 00:12:33,502 But I think this time apart is gonna be good for us 223 00:12:34,086 --> 00:12:36,297 even though I hate saying goodbye. 224 00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:37,256 Um… 225 00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:41,051 So I'm glad I have these. 226 00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:44,180 I'm there with you. 227 00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:45,556 Okay. 228 00:12:49,393 --> 00:12:51,979 -Well, thanks for being everything for me. -Mm-hmm. 229 00:12:52,062 --> 00:12:52,897 And… 230 00:12:55,232 --> 00:12:57,026 Don't miss me too much. 231 00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:58,235 Impossible. 232 00:13:00,237 --> 00:13:01,989 I am in love with Theresa. 233 00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:06,118 The way she's allowed me to open up and be vulnerable 234 00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:09,705 and not put on a facade, which I've done in the past. 235 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,207 And just the joy she brings me, 236 00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:14,919 like when I wake up and I see her and, like, that… that sense of home. 237 00:13:15,002 --> 00:13:16,253 It feels good. 238 00:13:17,421 --> 00:13:18,547 Love you. 239 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:22,343 Am I hoping that we come out on the same page 240 00:13:22,426 --> 00:13:23,803 and even a little stronger? 241 00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:26,555 Yeah, and I think that's a possibility. 242 00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:31,602 But there's a chance that… 243 00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:34,313 -This is gonna be weird. -I know. 244 00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:37,566 …she just 245 00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:40,528 gets way too in her head, 246 00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:43,906 and she might be a different person when I see her again. 247 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,409 -Bye. -Okay. Goodbye. 248 00:13:57,670 --> 00:14:01,215 I have a huge, huge decision to make. 249 00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:08,305 There's no denying that we had a true and real connection from the beginning. 250 00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:15,688 Time is gonna let you down 251 00:14:15,771 --> 00:14:16,730 However, 252 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,191 I still have some doubts. 253 00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:26,824 Is this just the final call? 254 00:14:26,907 --> 00:14:28,826 It's a huge commitment 255 00:14:28,909 --> 00:14:35,165 to say that this person who's 27 years younger than me 256 00:14:36,166 --> 00:14:37,251 is my boyfriend 257 00:14:38,335 --> 00:14:42,047 and that I'm going to commit to going forward with this 258 00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:44,508 and opening this up to the world. 259 00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:53,434 I don't know if I have the strength to see this through. 260 00:14:53,517 --> 00:14:56,937 Could this be the end? 261 00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:05,195 -Let's cheers to this journey we've had. -Cheers. 262 00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:08,741 -Cheers to a big decision. -It's a very big decision coming. 263 00:15:16,206 --> 00:15:17,207 How do you feel? 264 00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:22,087 I, you know, I know how I feel about you. 265 00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:24,924 I know that that doesn't always make everything 266 00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:27,259 A-okay and easy. 267 00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:31,805 I do understand the logistics of where we are, uh, in life, 268 00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:35,559 geographical challenges, other challenges as well. 269 00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:36,477 So… 270 00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:40,648 You know? It's time to take all that into consideration. 271 00:15:40,731 --> 00:15:41,899 Yeah. 272 00:15:41,982 --> 00:15:45,027 This whole time, we've kinda been like, oh, we are in a fairy tale, 273 00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:48,614 and everything is perfectly smooth, and we're having no challenges, 274 00:15:48,697 --> 00:15:49,823 which was true. 275 00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:52,159 It was true up until these last few days. 276 00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:57,414 So the fact that we're taking this time apart now, um, 277 00:15:57,915 --> 00:16:01,460 has me a little bit unsure 278 00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:04,964 about my decision. 279 00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:06,840 Um, 280 00:16:06,924 --> 00:16:10,135 a lot of questions have come up that I just have been ignoring. 281 00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:14,139 And I think I've been putting them off because I didn't wanna ruin anything 282 00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:16,934 or have anything be different than what it was. 283 00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:23,065 So, like, while it is confusing, and it's scary, 284 00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:28,195 I know that this time apart will end up benefiting both of us 285 00:16:29,571 --> 00:16:33,575 because my decision will be grounded and, um… 286 00:16:34,576 --> 00:16:37,037 -And, like, it'll be thoughtful. -Yeah. 287 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,123 And I respect that. 288 00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,336 I definitely think her concerns are valid. 289 00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:48,048 But one thing that I've done the last few days 290 00:16:48,132 --> 00:16:52,803 is try to truly focus on her feelings and her emotions. 291 00:16:52,886 --> 00:16:55,806 And I've taken myself out of it a little bit. 292 00:16:56,390 --> 00:16:59,685 And, obviously, we're gonna have some time apart to where, you know, 293 00:16:59,768 --> 00:17:03,772 I'm going to have to think that through on my side as well. 294 00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,482 And what does that look like? 295 00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:09,361 'Cause it's a big commitment, and can she handle it? 296 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:10,696 I'll see you. 297 00:17:10,779 --> 00:17:13,824 We're probably just at different stages in life. 298 00:17:13,907 --> 00:17:17,995 I have my boys. How will that match? There's so many question marks. 299 00:17:19,663 --> 00:17:21,957 I'd be lying to you… 300 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,959 …if I didn't say I was a little bit nervous. 301 00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:27,504 If it's not too late 302 00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:32,634 If it's not too late 303 00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:35,095 Do you feel me falling? 304 00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:38,098 If it's not too late 305 00:17:57,159 --> 00:18:01,163 So today is the commitment ceremony. 306 00:18:02,122 --> 00:18:05,793 I feel confident, but I don't know how she's been feeling. 307 00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:07,836 I don't know if she let the thoughts get to her 308 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,839 or the stress of her kids get to her. 309 00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:15,010 Turn and face the storm 310 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,721 You know, I support her, and I'm here for her, 311 00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:21,225 and my family supports, you know, our relationship, 312 00:18:21,308 --> 00:18:24,311 but I'm worried that Theresa hasn't bought in 313 00:18:24,394 --> 00:18:27,981 because of a lot of factors that I can't control. 314 00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:33,779 Every star you think That guided you before… 315 00:18:33,862 --> 00:18:35,906 I'm fully committed to Theresa. 316 00:18:35,989 --> 00:18:39,910 This will be my final teardrop 317 00:18:39,993 --> 00:18:43,580 This will be our curtain call 318 00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:44,498 And 319 00:18:45,332 --> 00:18:49,044 I hope she's ready to take that leap with me. 320 00:18:58,011 --> 00:19:01,890 Pull away the thorn… 321 00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:05,686 My feelings are getting much stronger every day for John. 322 00:19:05,769 --> 00:19:08,981 I have to admit that, you know, I am falling for him. 323 00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:12,067 It's almost been too good to be true, 324 00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:15,445 but there's also a piece of me that still has doubts. 325 00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:21,910 Ever gave you a ride To you is not my love 326 00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:27,332 This age gap difference is huge. And… Yeah, I'm scared. 327 00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:30,544 Give this love no more 328 00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:35,048 I have the option of walking away today. 329 00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:36,258 And, 330 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,094 you know, I'd be walking away from a lot. 331 00:19:40,053 --> 00:19:44,349 I know that I will regret not having him in my life, 332 00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:49,104 but I don't know if it's going to be too much. 333 00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:51,440 Should we just 334 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,944 take the easy route and go our separate ways 335 00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:58,864 and go back to our lives the way they were? 336 00:20:00,490 --> 00:20:02,659 I don't know if I'm ready for this. 337 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:07,956 A final teardrop 338 00:20:31,146 --> 00:20:31,980 Okay. 339 00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:38,946 We've gone through a lot of hard stuff early on that I'm thankful for. 340 00:20:39,029 --> 00:20:41,740 We had to be there for each other, and that says something. 341 00:20:41,823 --> 00:20:43,533 I've never been able to be there for someone. 342 00:20:43,617 --> 00:20:45,911 I was never in the right headspace for it. 343 00:20:45,994 --> 00:20:48,038 I was never open to receive this 344 00:20:48,121 --> 00:20:50,832 and to support someone like I've supported you. 345 00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:55,545 I feel lucky that I get to show up for you. 346 00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:58,382 I'm confident in this. 347 00:20:58,465 --> 00:21:03,470 I'm confident in what we've built. I know what we have, and it's the feeling. 348 00:21:05,055 --> 00:21:11,478 It's the immediate sense of calmness you bring me whenever I see you. 349 00:21:12,646 --> 00:21:17,067 Us being able to laugh during the most serious moments, 350 00:21:18,026 --> 00:21:19,528 the most intimate moments. 351 00:21:20,612 --> 00:21:22,155 I'm looking forward to… 352 00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:25,325 that next step, 353 00:21:25,409 --> 00:21:28,537 and we'll get there with the age thing. 354 00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:29,621 Mm-hmm. 355 00:21:30,497 --> 00:21:33,583 I need you to believe that age is just a number 356 00:21:33,667 --> 00:21:35,544 but also believe in me 357 00:21:35,627 --> 00:21:39,131 that every day I'm gonna show up and work on this together. 358 00:21:44,428 --> 00:21:51,226 When I decided to take this journey to find someone to share my life with, 359 00:21:52,602 --> 00:21:55,856 I said to myself that I was ready. 360 00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:57,566 When I met you, 361 00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:04,072 you drew me in with your smile, your energy, and your steadiness. 362 00:22:06,241 --> 00:22:07,534 You made me laugh. 363 00:22:10,203 --> 00:22:11,496 And you made me 364 00:22:12,706 --> 00:22:15,334 feel better than I ever had in the past. 365 00:22:16,460 --> 00:22:18,045 But for whatever reason, 366 00:22:18,128 --> 00:22:20,964 there was still something holding me back. 367 00:22:23,759 --> 00:22:27,804 When you met my kids, and I didn't tell them your age, 368 00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:30,057 it wasn't because I was ashamed. 369 00:22:30,140 --> 00:22:31,683 It was because I was scared. 370 00:22:33,143 --> 00:22:36,688 Scared because if I spoke it, it would be real. 371 00:22:38,357 --> 00:22:39,816 Scared because 372 00:22:40,942 --> 00:22:43,570 of the things we might face from the world 373 00:22:44,821 --> 00:22:48,950 knowing that the world is not fair 374 00:22:49,743 --> 00:22:53,914 and that there is a double standard against women who date younger men. 375 00:22:55,123 --> 00:22:56,833 So it got me thinking, 376 00:22:57,334 --> 00:23:02,756 maybe it would be better if I walked away before it got to be too difficult… 377 00:23:02,839 --> 00:23:05,717 You, you keep me high… 378 00:23:05,801 --> 00:23:06,635 …and 379 00:23:08,387 --> 00:23:09,346 too real. 380 00:23:11,014 --> 00:23:12,015 You're kidding. 381 00:23:15,894 --> 00:23:17,062 It's a lot. 382 00:23:17,145 --> 00:23:19,856 You, you keep me hiding 383 00:23:19,940 --> 00:23:20,816 You, you… 384 00:23:20,899 --> 00:23:23,026 It's really a scary thing for me. 385 00:23:24,444 --> 00:23:26,154 If I let myself… 386 00:23:29,157 --> 00:23:30,992 be totally vulnerable 387 00:23:32,411 --> 00:23:33,286 with you 388 00:23:34,538 --> 00:23:36,123 and the world, 389 00:23:36,206 --> 00:23:40,460 it's the hugest risk I will ever have taken. 390 00:23:45,382 --> 00:23:47,008 I just didn't see this coming. 391 00:23:55,767 --> 00:23:58,395 It's just a whole 180 from what we were feeling. 392 00:24:01,648 --> 00:24:04,651 I mean, we've shared some amazing times together. 393 00:24:06,528 --> 00:24:10,157 And you've been really patient and very understanding. 394 00:24:14,786 --> 00:24:17,622 But I just worry that it's too much. 395 00:24:20,542 --> 00:24:21,960 You're not up for the fight? 396 00:24:24,171 --> 00:24:25,964 I mean, I'm a fighter. 397 00:24:26,965 --> 00:24:31,761 I'm also just trying to protect myself and to protect you. 398 00:24:34,431 --> 00:24:35,807 I don't know what to say. 399 00:24:36,850 --> 00:24:42,439 There's a letter that my kids wrote to you that I wanna read. 400 00:24:49,863 --> 00:24:50,864 All right. 401 00:24:50,947 --> 00:24:55,494 "Dear John, it was really nice meeting you and watching you and our mom together." 402 00:25:00,582 --> 00:25:02,876 "She just seemed so happy, 403 00:25:02,959 --> 00:25:05,504 and we haven't seen her like that in a while." 404 00:25:10,926 --> 00:25:12,385 Give me a second. 405 00:25:13,970 --> 00:25:17,849 "We don't know exactly what the age difference is, 406 00:25:17,933 --> 00:25:21,895 but it doesn't matter to us after seeing you two together." 407 00:25:23,063 --> 00:25:25,065 "We just want her to be happy." 408 00:25:26,525 --> 00:25:28,485 "And you clearly do that." 409 00:25:28,568 --> 00:25:33,156 "So we support your relationship and are excited for whatever comes next." 410 00:25:35,033 --> 00:25:36,993 "Love, Lauren, Richard, and Michael." 411 00:25:46,461 --> 00:25:51,341 I just need to know if you believe that. If you're up for that challenge. 412 00:25:52,842 --> 00:25:59,641 And you believe and trust your kids that they support you. 413 00:26:00,850 --> 00:26:04,062 I need you to wake up every morning and 414 00:26:05,021 --> 00:26:07,983 see and believe and trust-- 415 00:26:08,066 --> 00:26:10,402 trust that your kids support this. 416 00:26:10,485 --> 00:26:13,029 And then whatever comes after that, we can, 417 00:26:14,114 --> 00:26:16,658 you know, go to battle, but 418 00:26:17,284 --> 00:26:18,785 it's up to you. 419 00:26:18,868 --> 00:26:20,161 I've said the whole time. 420 00:26:20,245 --> 00:26:22,122 The ball's in your court, on if 421 00:26:23,665 --> 00:26:24,791 you believe that. 422 00:26:27,460 --> 00:26:30,630 I mean, it makes me feel a lot more confident 423 00:26:30,714 --> 00:26:34,968 and happy to know they wrote that to you. 424 00:26:35,594 --> 00:26:37,846 -Um, I had no idea what it said. -Mm-hmm. 425 00:26:38,763 --> 00:26:40,724 And so I don't wanna walk away. 426 00:26:43,143 --> 00:26:47,314 In fact, I wanna walk towards something with you. 427 00:26:48,732 --> 00:26:51,985 And I don't know exactly what that will be or what that will look like… 428 00:26:52,068 --> 00:26:53,069 Mm-hmm. 429 00:26:53,153 --> 00:26:57,574 …but I think together, you know, we can navigate it. 430 00:26:59,075 --> 00:27:02,996 And I think if you are able to support me 431 00:27:03,079 --> 00:27:06,541 and my crazy anxiety… 432 00:27:06,625 --> 00:27:07,542 Mm-hmm. 433 00:27:09,586 --> 00:27:14,549 …you know, we can make this into something really special. 434 00:27:15,550 --> 00:27:16,551 I think so too. 435 00:27:17,052 --> 00:27:21,306 And I will be able at some point… 436 00:27:21,389 --> 00:27:24,476 …to maybe scream it from the mountain top. 437 00:27:24,559 --> 00:27:25,435 Mm-hmm. 438 00:27:27,187 --> 00:27:28,063 But 439 00:27:28,730 --> 00:27:32,275 right now, I'm just going to 440 00:27:32,776 --> 00:27:34,194 promise you 441 00:27:35,111 --> 00:27:36,237 and commit to you 442 00:27:36,321 --> 00:27:40,450 to continue to build our relationship into something real 443 00:27:41,534 --> 00:27:43,161 and something really great. 444 00:27:45,038 --> 00:27:49,668 So stay with me 445 00:27:49,751 --> 00:27:50,627 I accept. 446 00:27:52,379 --> 00:27:53,421 Hilarious. 447 00:27:55,256 --> 00:27:57,676 I'm excited for whatever's next. 448 00:27:57,759 --> 00:28:02,555 And I'm thankful for this experience, and 449 00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:06,434 I wanna continue falling in love with you. 450 00:28:08,186 --> 00:28:09,312 So do I. 451 00:28:09,896 --> 00:28:10,772 I love you. 452 00:28:11,481 --> 00:28:12,524 I love you too. 453 00:28:13,441 --> 00:28:15,151 I love you too much to let you go. 454 00:28:16,945 --> 00:28:19,823 -Well, good 'cause you don't have to. -Hmm. Good answer. 455 00:28:19,906 --> 00:28:25,245 Be with me 456 00:28:35,004 --> 00:28:37,757 All your dreams 457 00:28:38,341 --> 00:28:41,803 And all your fears 458 00:28:41,886 --> 00:28:45,890 You think those worlds collide 459 00:28:47,976 --> 00:28:50,311 I'm feeling a little nervous. 460 00:28:50,395 --> 00:28:54,399 I have confidence in Derrick, and I have confidence in our relationship. 461 00:28:54,482 --> 00:28:58,236 But I still have a lot of fears about my own future. 462 00:28:59,070 --> 00:29:00,780 Ringing on the bell 463 00:29:00,864 --> 00:29:04,993 I just wanna help, I just wanna know… 464 00:29:05,076 --> 00:29:06,661 I mean, I'm 23. 465 00:29:06,745 --> 00:29:10,790 I never imagined that I would be moving across the country, 466 00:29:10,874 --> 00:29:13,710 moving for a man who has children. 467 00:29:13,793 --> 00:29:18,465 And I think the fear is just coming from a place of not having experience 468 00:29:18,548 --> 00:29:23,303 in being in that sort of relationship or being with somebody who has kids. 469 00:29:23,386 --> 00:29:26,681 You say, oh, I don't wanna know… 470 00:29:26,765 --> 00:29:28,266 This is a big decision. 471 00:29:28,349 --> 00:29:30,101 If heaven is a wasteland… 472 00:29:30,185 --> 00:29:33,313 Essentially, I either walk away without Derrick, 473 00:29:33,396 --> 00:29:35,231 and I go back to my life in Seattle, 474 00:29:35,315 --> 00:29:37,525 or I leave with Derrick, 475 00:29:37,609 --> 00:29:43,114 and I get something extremely different than anything I could have ever imagined. 476 00:29:43,198 --> 00:29:46,993 When you let the love inside… 477 00:29:47,076 --> 00:29:48,077 I'm conflicted. 478 00:29:48,161 --> 00:29:49,829 It's like, do I risk it all 479 00:29:49,913 --> 00:29:53,291 and change everything I know for a man and for a relationship? 480 00:29:53,374 --> 00:29:56,628 Or do I make the hard decision to end it? 481 00:29:56,711 --> 00:30:01,257 But you can't find a way to let me in 482 00:30:02,801 --> 00:30:05,512 Not in a million years did I ever think 483 00:30:05,595 --> 00:30:10,266 that I would come into this experience and find such a real, 484 00:30:10,350 --> 00:30:12,310 genuine, authentic connection. 485 00:30:12,393 --> 00:30:17,273 And you say, oh, I don't wanna know 486 00:30:17,357 --> 00:30:21,903 It feels like I'm getting married. Honestly, there's a lot weighing on it. 487 00:30:21,986 --> 00:30:25,240 You know, there's a whole life change that she has to consider. 488 00:30:25,323 --> 00:30:27,784 The last conversation we had, 489 00:30:27,867 --> 00:30:30,745 she definitely had some question marks, and the nerves are there. 490 00:30:30,829 --> 00:30:34,958 She's scared and giving up her life, possibly changing her career. 491 00:30:35,041 --> 00:30:36,084 I know that's a lot. 492 00:30:37,168 --> 00:30:40,797 I'm wanting to be sympathetic and empathetic to that, 493 00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:43,675 but I want her in Dallas with me, but I'm not sure 494 00:30:43,758 --> 00:30:46,803 that our relationship at this time 495 00:30:46,886 --> 00:30:49,264 is strong enough for her to make that change. 496 00:30:49,347 --> 00:30:52,600 I just wanna know 497 00:30:53,393 --> 00:30:56,271 Why you can't find a way to let me in 498 00:30:56,354 --> 00:30:57,522 Hello. 499 00:30:58,815 --> 00:31:00,608 -You look amazing. -Thank you. 500 00:31:02,527 --> 00:31:05,655 From the first day, I didn't know exactly what it was, 501 00:31:05,738 --> 00:31:08,116 but I knew I was extremely comfortable with you. 502 00:31:08,199 --> 00:31:12,745 I felt at ease, at peace, from just a quick conversation. 503 00:31:13,329 --> 00:31:17,542 Like, honestly, that moment I knew, like, deep down that 504 00:31:17,625 --> 00:31:23,047 I didn't wanna even explore any other options at the retreat. 505 00:31:23,798 --> 00:31:27,427 And, you know, we continued on, moved in. 506 00:31:29,220 --> 00:31:31,723 And, you know, yeah, there was some nerves. 507 00:31:31,806 --> 00:31:35,518 It's not easy to think I'm gonna move in with someone that I just met, 508 00:31:35,602 --> 00:31:40,398 but through that process, I thought that it would be great, but I was wrong. 509 00:31:40,481 --> 00:31:43,818 Like, it was much better than I could have even imagined. 510 00:31:44,944 --> 00:31:47,906 So for me, you know, the journey, 511 00:31:47,989 --> 00:31:50,366 all the laughs and all the good times, 512 00:31:50,450 --> 00:31:54,078 the challenges and tough conversations, were just as important. 513 00:31:54,829 --> 00:31:58,917 I feel like we've grown every point along this ride. 514 00:32:01,210 --> 00:32:04,130 From the first day, I knew that you were special. 515 00:32:05,256 --> 00:32:08,593 Despite our 20-year age gap, 516 00:32:08,676 --> 00:32:12,889 I'm certain that my greatest blessing was meeting you. 517 00:32:13,723 --> 00:32:16,309 I've always thought about and dreamed about 518 00:32:16,392 --> 00:32:18,311 the man I would end up with, 519 00:32:18,895 --> 00:32:21,314 but you are far better 520 00:32:22,899 --> 00:32:23,733 than 521 00:32:24,525 --> 00:32:26,444 anybody I could have imagined. 522 00:32:28,947 --> 00:32:30,949 And now I can't imagine 523 00:32:31,824 --> 00:32:33,618 a future without you in it. 524 00:32:38,957 --> 00:32:43,378 I've been confident in your character since our first date. 525 00:32:44,420 --> 00:32:45,922 But after moving in, 526 00:32:46,923 --> 00:32:51,636 I'm certain that you are one of the best men that I've ever met. 527 00:32:59,394 --> 00:33:02,689 It's been an honor to share this journey with you. 528 00:33:04,524 --> 00:33:07,485 And the closer we get… 529 00:33:07,568 --> 00:33:11,781 …the more I know and the more I see just how great of a man that you are. 530 00:33:19,038 --> 00:33:22,917 Derrick, you are a phenomenal person. 531 00:33:24,252 --> 00:33:29,882 Sometimes it seems too good to be true, but it really is just who you are. 532 00:33:31,050 --> 00:33:33,803 And I feel like I'm the luckiest girl 533 00:33:33,886 --> 00:33:36,723 in the whole world to have found you here. 534 00:33:38,558 --> 00:33:43,271 Many people spend their whole lives looking for what we found here. 535 00:33:45,356 --> 00:33:48,151 If I were to leave here without you, 536 00:33:48,943 --> 00:33:51,487 I may regret it for the rest of my life. 537 00:33:52,947 --> 00:33:55,116 But if we were to stay together 538 00:33:56,659 --> 00:33:59,245 my life would look wildly different 539 00:33:59,787 --> 00:34:01,456 than I ever anticipated. 540 00:34:04,959 --> 00:34:09,088 I would be sacrificing my entire life in Seattle. 541 00:34:10,089 --> 00:34:13,134 My friends, my support, 542 00:34:13,718 --> 00:34:16,554 and everything I've built over the last four years. 543 00:34:21,517 --> 00:34:23,061 But… 544 00:34:23,728 --> 00:34:24,562 …today 545 00:34:25,688 --> 00:34:29,776 I'm putting the unknowns aside, and I'm trusting my heart. 546 00:34:30,276 --> 00:34:31,110 So 547 00:34:31,861 --> 00:34:35,865 I am 100% committed to moving to Dallas… 548 00:34:38,034 --> 00:34:41,412 …and starting our journey together 549 00:34:42,789 --> 00:34:44,040 outside of all this. 550 00:34:48,669 --> 00:34:50,838 Yeah, that was a lot. 551 00:34:52,423 --> 00:34:56,552 But I promise I'm always gonna put in the work. 552 00:34:57,428 --> 00:34:59,013 I'm always gonna try. 553 00:34:59,597 --> 00:35:03,184 I'll always protect you, and I'll always protect your heart. 554 00:35:03,267 --> 00:35:04,894 Pfeifer, I truly love you. 555 00:35:05,978 --> 00:35:09,398 So this is my gift to you. 556 00:35:10,399 --> 00:35:15,947 It's… It's a key to our place that's been my place. 557 00:35:16,030 --> 00:35:17,406 Thank you. 558 00:35:17,490 --> 00:35:20,368 -That means the world to me, truly. -So… Absolutely. 559 00:35:21,327 --> 00:35:22,453 I don't want you to be alone, 560 00:35:22,537 --> 00:35:24,705 and I don't want you in Dallas in a separate place. 561 00:35:24,789 --> 00:35:26,958 Literally, my place is our place. 562 00:35:27,041 --> 00:35:29,418 I feel like the luckiest person in the whole world. 563 00:35:30,086 --> 00:35:31,462 And I have this whole time. 564 00:35:32,755 --> 00:35:34,215 That makes two of us, babe. 565 00:35:35,758 --> 00:35:37,218 I wanna shine 566 00:35:39,387 --> 00:35:42,306 Just need a spark from somewhere 567 00:35:43,349 --> 00:35:46,018 I wanna shine 568 00:35:46,102 --> 00:35:48,354 Show the world the light 569 00:35:48,437 --> 00:35:50,606 Someday I'll shine 570 00:35:58,865 --> 00:36:02,034 I think I just got one more breath 571 00:36:02,118 --> 00:36:05,371 Broken heart is beating Outta my chest 572 00:36:05,454 --> 00:36:08,875 Tired of runnin' I just need some rest 573 00:36:09,625 --> 00:36:12,378 I came here to be able to open my heart up 574 00:36:12,461 --> 00:36:16,132 to find someone that I wanna spend my life with, you know? 575 00:36:16,215 --> 00:36:18,134 When I think about my future, 576 00:36:18,217 --> 00:36:21,179 I just wanna be happily married to a wonderful guy. 577 00:36:21,262 --> 00:36:25,683 And despite all of our ups and downs, I think it could be Chris. 578 00:36:25,766 --> 00:36:29,770 I got one hand On the edge of this cliff 579 00:36:29,854 --> 00:36:31,856 And I can't see the ground 580 00:36:31,939 --> 00:36:33,941 I'm like a hopeless romantic, you know? 581 00:36:34,025 --> 00:36:36,944 So I would like for this to work out with Chris. 582 00:36:37,028 --> 00:36:38,237 We have something here. 583 00:36:38,321 --> 00:36:43,284 We are finally in a great space, but this step is big. 584 00:36:43,367 --> 00:36:45,578 I'm 41, he's 26, you know? 585 00:36:45,661 --> 00:36:48,623 So is he really ready? 586 00:36:49,123 --> 00:36:50,208 I'm not sure. 587 00:36:50,833 --> 00:36:53,377 I can't give up hope, regardless. 588 00:36:53,461 --> 00:36:56,422 Don't have any blood left to bleed… 589 00:36:56,505 --> 00:36:57,798 I feel very uneasy. 590 00:36:57,882 --> 00:36:59,926 Clearly, me and Leah have love for each other 591 00:37:00,009 --> 00:37:02,220 because we've been on an emotional roller coaster. 592 00:37:02,303 --> 00:37:03,804 If we didn't have love for each other, 593 00:37:03,888 --> 00:37:06,140 as soon as it got really dark, we wouldn't be here anymore. 594 00:37:06,224 --> 00:37:09,435 The question was, and still is, are we in love? 595 00:37:09,518 --> 00:37:12,480 Oh no, I'll never let go… 596 00:37:12,563 --> 00:37:16,150 Leah is somebody that I have built such a connection with 597 00:37:16,234 --> 00:37:17,568 and a care for 598 00:37:17,652 --> 00:37:21,322 that I want to look past what we've dealt with 599 00:37:21,405 --> 00:37:23,157 and try to move forward. 600 00:37:23,241 --> 00:37:25,993 At the same time, I'm trying to figure out, 601 00:37:26,077 --> 00:37:28,955 am I ready for this, or am I not? 602 00:37:29,038 --> 00:37:31,958 Because it's a decision that will affect me forever. 603 00:37:34,335 --> 00:37:35,920 Logic, emotions, 604 00:37:36,003 --> 00:37:38,130 my head, my gut, which one do I listen to? 605 00:37:38,214 --> 00:37:39,924 And there's so many voices, 606 00:37:40,007 --> 00:37:43,970 whether it's outside or in our own heads that are telling us to do a certain thing. 607 00:37:44,053 --> 00:37:47,556 And I'm trying to just ignore everything that society says 608 00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:51,310 should happen and listen to what I know is true, 609 00:37:51,394 --> 00:37:53,980 which is the… the voice in my heart telling me what is right. 610 00:37:57,233 --> 00:37:58,401 Aw. 611 00:38:00,486 --> 00:38:02,321 -You look good. -Hi. Thank you. 612 00:38:02,405 --> 00:38:03,781 You look beautiful. 613 00:38:09,829 --> 00:38:15,751 Prior to this retreat, I was praying that God would send me my person. 614 00:38:16,252 --> 00:38:19,088 And I was really hoping, maybe they'll be at this retreat. 615 00:38:19,630 --> 00:38:21,465 And then I met you. 616 00:38:22,049 --> 00:38:26,637 And then from our first conversation, I knew we had something special. 617 00:38:27,138 --> 00:38:30,224 And our first kiss was fire. 618 00:38:30,308 --> 00:38:33,227 You lit something inside of me that I thought was gone. 619 00:38:35,688 --> 00:38:39,150 I know we've had our fair share of ups and downs, 620 00:38:40,192 --> 00:38:43,321 but for me, the good times outweigh the bad. 621 00:38:49,785 --> 00:38:53,998 You challenge me to do and be better. 622 00:38:54,081 --> 00:38:55,666 And I thank you for that. 623 00:38:57,251 --> 00:39:03,090 Thank you for hearing, seeing, and always telling me to just be me. 624 00:39:04,717 --> 00:39:05,718 Thank you. 625 00:39:07,762 --> 00:39:12,266 From day one, we've talked about being honest and being open. 626 00:39:12,350 --> 00:39:16,562 And I think that the most important thing I wanna highlight is 627 00:39:17,396 --> 00:39:20,107 just how honest and open you've allowed me to feel. 628 00:39:20,608 --> 00:39:22,193 You've challenged me. 629 00:39:22,276 --> 00:39:25,488 You've helped me grow. And I hope I've done the same. 630 00:39:26,155 --> 00:39:31,160 I can't thank you enough for the experiences that we have lived. 631 00:39:37,291 --> 00:39:39,043 We've had ups and downs, 632 00:39:39,126 --> 00:39:42,755 and there's no doubting that there has been difficult times, 633 00:39:42,838 --> 00:39:44,757 and there's been beautiful times. 634 00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:46,592 And I wanna remember 635 00:39:47,635 --> 00:39:48,677 both. 636 00:39:50,429 --> 00:39:52,598 I think that we do need to 637 00:39:53,432 --> 00:39:55,267 continue to be honest with each other. 638 00:39:56,018 --> 00:39:56,852 And… 639 00:39:57,770 --> 00:40:01,440 You know, we've talked about our age difference many times, 640 00:40:02,024 --> 00:40:06,237 and maybe the age gap was harder than we thought. 641 00:40:07,363 --> 00:40:08,197 But 642 00:40:08,739 --> 00:40:09,824 here we are. 643 00:40:09,907 --> 00:40:11,909 And I think we've both made a decision 644 00:40:11,992 --> 00:40:14,620 that will impact our lives and our families. 645 00:40:14,703 --> 00:40:17,289 And I just hope and pray that it's the right one. 646 00:40:19,208 --> 00:40:24,130 I think I just wanted you to be able to see what I see. 647 00:40:24,213 --> 00:40:28,342 And I wanted to show you the world. I wanna see more with you. 648 00:40:28,426 --> 00:40:29,427 Hmm. 649 00:40:29,510 --> 00:40:33,097 And I wanna get you out of your comfort zone, you know? 650 00:40:33,180 --> 00:40:35,850 And I do wanna challenge you in all the ways that I can. 651 00:40:35,933 --> 00:40:38,686 And I love it when you challenge me too. 652 00:40:38,769 --> 00:40:42,606 I can see myself growing with you, building with you. 653 00:40:42,690 --> 00:40:44,817 Um, I know it's not easy. 654 00:40:45,776 --> 00:40:49,113 I understand that we weren't at our best. 655 00:40:50,156 --> 00:40:53,492 And it's like, I wanna see you be at your best and me at my best 656 00:40:53,576 --> 00:40:55,786 and see how we can be our best together. 657 00:40:58,956 --> 00:41:01,709 I would like to commit to you. 658 00:41:05,629 --> 00:41:07,131 Excuse me. 659 00:41:09,133 --> 00:41:09,967 So… 660 00:41:11,302 --> 00:41:12,136 Wow. 661 00:41:20,561 --> 00:41:24,607 So we've talked about our differences, and we laid out 662 00:41:25,357 --> 00:41:27,610 what we want out of a partner from day one. 663 00:41:27,693 --> 00:41:30,613 I think we both wanna have a family. I think we both wanna settle down. 664 00:41:30,696 --> 00:41:32,781 I think maybe we want it at different paces. 665 00:41:32,865 --> 00:41:34,617 I do think that the age difference 666 00:41:34,700 --> 00:41:36,994 did cause an unnecessary pressure on both of us 667 00:41:37,077 --> 00:41:39,288 and put us in a situation where… 668 00:41:42,082 --> 00:41:43,918 for the first time in my life, 669 00:41:44,001 --> 00:41:46,128 I felt like it was hard for me to be myself. 670 00:41:46,212 --> 00:41:49,006 Now I'm floating 671 00:41:49,632 --> 00:41:51,800 Lift me off the ground 672 00:41:51,884 --> 00:41:55,387 My heart is open 673 00:41:57,723 --> 00:42:01,810 And that's why ultimately, I feel that this partnership is not right. 674 00:42:01,894 --> 00:42:05,439 Now I'm floating 675 00:42:05,981 --> 00:42:07,775 Lift me off the ground 676 00:42:07,858 --> 00:42:11,737 My heart is open 677 00:42:16,033 --> 00:42:17,117 And ultimately, 678 00:42:18,369 --> 00:42:21,830 I can't move forward with something that I don't feel is 100% right. 679 00:42:22,456 --> 00:42:24,166 I don't feel like that's fair to you. 680 00:42:24,250 --> 00:42:26,627 I don't feel like that's fair to your family or mine. 681 00:42:27,586 --> 00:42:30,714 So I… I am deciding to end this relationship here. 682 00:42:31,840 --> 00:42:34,885 Now I'm floating 683 00:42:39,014 --> 00:42:44,186 Honestly, I will cherish every single freaking moment and experience. 684 00:42:44,687 --> 00:42:47,690 And I hope that this isn't the end of a friendship that I 685 00:42:48,524 --> 00:42:49,650 truly value. 686 00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:53,279 -Seriously, thank you. -You're welcome. 687 00:42:54,446 --> 00:42:56,448 You are a beautiful person inside and out. 688 00:42:58,951 --> 00:42:59,910 Can I have a hug? 689 00:43:11,380 --> 00:43:12,548 It was nice meeting you. 690 00:43:24,184 --> 00:43:25,978 Chris didn't really wanna be with me. 691 00:43:26,061 --> 00:43:28,647 If somebody really likes you, really wants to be with you, 692 00:43:28,731 --> 00:43:29,815 they'll be with you. 693 00:43:29,898 --> 00:43:30,774 And they'll fight. 694 00:43:31,358 --> 00:43:34,945 That's why I was willing to give us a shot and see if we could get it together. 695 00:43:35,029 --> 00:43:37,698 But he wasn't. 696 00:43:38,741 --> 00:43:40,200 I've always wanted to be chosen, 697 00:43:40,284 --> 00:43:42,244 but I wasn't gonna beg someone to choose me. 698 00:43:42,328 --> 00:43:44,371 I also can't turn a boy into a man either. 699 00:43:44,455 --> 00:43:48,542 At least I gave my all 700 00:43:48,626 --> 00:43:53,631 I was hoping to find my love here at the retreat, but I didn't. 701 00:43:54,131 --> 00:43:57,092 Overall, I think I've just learned who I am. 702 00:43:57,176 --> 00:44:00,179 And I'm a very strong, intelligent, beautiful woman. 703 00:44:00,262 --> 00:44:04,183 And my future partner will be happy to be with me. 704 00:44:04,266 --> 00:44:06,769 And I'm excited for him. 705 00:44:06,852 --> 00:44:09,438 No words left to say 706 00:44:09,521 --> 00:44:12,107 'Cause I'll be okay 707 00:44:12,191 --> 00:44:14,193 I'm stronger now 708 00:44:27,665 --> 00:44:31,460 I'm definitely a little bit unsure. 709 00:44:33,671 --> 00:44:37,216 You know, the last few days, I've definitely been in my head. 710 00:44:37,299 --> 00:44:39,468 I mean, there's so much fear there 711 00:44:40,052 --> 00:44:42,346 that the age gap will be too much, 712 00:44:42,429 --> 00:44:44,390 where we're at in our lives will be too much, 713 00:44:44,473 --> 00:44:46,350 the timing, the distance. 714 00:44:46,433 --> 00:44:48,936 Come and drink this water 715 00:44:49,561 --> 00:44:52,189 'Cause my cup, it overflows 716 00:44:52,272 --> 00:44:57,486 Are we too far away from where the other person is in life? 717 00:44:57,569 --> 00:45:02,825 And I would be lying if I said that that still doesn't cross my mind 718 00:45:02,908 --> 00:45:04,618 every single day with Libby. 719 00:45:06,787 --> 00:45:10,124 There's definitely two sides going back and forth 720 00:45:10,207 --> 00:45:12,710 that's, like, it's not gonna work. 721 00:45:12,793 --> 00:45:17,005 One's going off of previous experiences and all of the things 722 00:45:17,089 --> 00:45:18,841 that haven't worked. 723 00:45:18,924 --> 00:45:21,385 And then the other side of it is, like, my heart. 724 00:45:21,969 --> 00:45:24,388 Can you see the shoes 725 00:45:24,471 --> 00:45:28,058 Worn out upon my feet 726 00:45:28,142 --> 00:45:30,561 I'm a bit nervous going into this. 727 00:45:30,644 --> 00:45:33,856 Me and Andrew have been so solid this entire experience. 728 00:45:33,939 --> 00:45:36,567 I don't think I expected to get to this point 729 00:45:36,650 --> 00:45:39,945 this morning and be questioning things. 730 00:45:42,197 --> 00:45:43,824 But the past couple days, 731 00:45:43,907 --> 00:45:48,912 he's brought up the thing about him worrying about taking from my life 732 00:45:48,996 --> 00:45:51,206 and the distance between us. 733 00:45:51,290 --> 00:45:54,418 So I'm spiraling a little bit too. 734 00:45:54,501 --> 00:45:58,255 Andrew's doubts are putting more ideas in my head. 735 00:45:58,338 --> 00:46:01,759 I'm… I'm like, wait, is he right? Is this gonna work? 736 00:46:01,842 --> 00:46:05,179 Every single time… 737 00:46:05,262 --> 00:46:07,473 His doubts have now become my doubts. 738 00:46:07,556 --> 00:46:11,894 And I think all of this is really starting to freak me out. 739 00:46:11,977 --> 00:46:14,646 Wait for you 740 00:46:15,481 --> 00:46:17,816 Will you wait for me too? 741 00:46:17,900 --> 00:46:19,735 I don't know how he's feeling. 742 00:46:19,818 --> 00:46:25,741 And I don't know if he's decided that the age difference, it's too much. 743 00:46:25,824 --> 00:46:27,618 So, I think it's very possible 744 00:46:27,701 --> 00:46:29,953 that Andrew is gonna break my heart on this mountain today. 745 00:46:30,037 --> 00:46:32,706 Every single time 746 00:46:33,832 --> 00:46:35,834 In this asylum 747 00:46:36,627 --> 00:46:40,923 I will sit outside and wait for you 748 00:46:41,006 --> 00:46:41,840 Awesome. 749 00:46:42,424 --> 00:46:43,884 -You look beautiful. -Thanks. 750 00:46:44,551 --> 00:46:47,721 -Mm-hmm. -You look handsome. It's true. 751 00:46:52,309 --> 00:46:55,187 I came here hoping 752 00:46:56,396 --> 00:46:57,648 to find something, 753 00:46:57,731 --> 00:47:02,069 but I don't think I truly believed that I would find something real. 754 00:47:02,653 --> 00:47:06,949 There's a part of me that wonders if this works 755 00:47:07,032 --> 00:47:09,952 when we're outside of the bubble that we've been living in. 756 00:47:11,495 --> 00:47:14,122 You're 22. I'm 38. 757 00:47:15,332 --> 00:47:16,500 That's a big gap. 758 00:47:18,126 --> 00:47:21,129 Your life is just getting started. 759 00:47:21,755 --> 00:47:26,760 You're figuring out who you are, what you want, where you're going. 760 00:47:28,595 --> 00:47:32,015 And I'm settled in the life that I've already built. 761 00:47:33,433 --> 00:47:39,314 The biggest fear for me is keeping you from your dreams 762 00:47:40,440 --> 00:47:43,193 even though you're a part of mine. 763 00:47:47,322 --> 00:47:49,616 I understand what you mean. 764 00:47:49,700 --> 00:47:52,828 And obviously I've been thinking about that too. 765 00:47:52,911 --> 00:47:56,290 You know that sometimes it's hard for me to really… 766 00:47:58,292 --> 00:48:00,502 …express how I'm feeling with my words. 767 00:48:00,586 --> 00:48:05,257 And sometimes it's better and easier for me to write it out. 768 00:48:06,091 --> 00:48:07,593 So I wrote you something. 769 00:48:15,225 --> 00:48:16,977 "Coming into this experience, 770 00:48:17,978 --> 00:48:19,104 I hoped for the best, 771 00:48:19,187 --> 00:48:22,399 but I truly never thought that I'd meet someone like you." 772 00:48:23,025 --> 00:48:25,611 "You have everything that I've ever wanted in a guy, 773 00:48:25,694 --> 00:48:29,156 which is incredibly rare because that includes some outrageous things, 774 00:48:29,239 --> 00:48:32,409 like, someone who will sing Taylor Swift with me and manifest." 775 00:48:33,869 --> 00:48:37,205 "You challenged me to open up in ways I never have before 776 00:48:37,873 --> 00:48:41,001 and brought out a side of me that not many people get to see." 777 00:48:41,084 --> 00:48:44,129 "I love the way you talk and care about your daughters, 778 00:48:44,212 --> 00:48:46,506 and the way you protect them in every aspect 779 00:48:46,590 --> 00:48:48,175 shows what a great dad you are." 780 00:48:49,259 --> 00:48:51,386 "Hearing about your experiences as a father 781 00:48:51,470 --> 00:48:54,431 has been one of the many things that drew me to you." 782 00:48:54,514 --> 00:48:57,851 "With that being said, I know that comes with a lot of weight, 783 00:48:57,935 --> 00:48:59,811 and it's something I don't take lightly." 784 00:48:59,895 --> 00:49:04,274 "And I know that you're worried about our age gap 785 00:49:04,358 --> 00:49:06,860 and the fact that I'm 22, 786 00:49:06,944 --> 00:49:09,446 and you think that there's a possibility 787 00:49:10,030 --> 00:49:12,866 that you could be taking too much from my life." 788 00:49:13,867 --> 00:49:17,037 "And it has me thinking the last couple days 789 00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:18,997 about what it is that I really want." 790 00:49:21,291 --> 00:49:25,754 And I really feel like you'd only be an addition to my life. 791 00:49:34,346 --> 00:49:38,642 I've had a lot of time to think as well. 792 00:49:39,685 --> 00:49:40,560 And 793 00:49:41,603 --> 00:49:42,688 the truth is… 794 00:49:45,816 --> 00:49:49,111 no matter how much I doubt the age gap, 795 00:49:50,070 --> 00:49:52,906 the distance, the timing, 796 00:49:53,949 --> 00:49:57,828 I don't doubt the way I feel when I'm with you. 797 00:49:59,538 --> 00:50:02,874 When we first got here, 798 00:50:04,042 --> 00:50:08,380 you asked me if I ever thought 799 00:50:09,256 --> 00:50:12,426 I could fall in love before the end of this. 800 00:50:13,593 --> 00:50:15,220 And I remember saying… 801 00:50:17,347 --> 00:50:19,057 I think someone could. 802 00:50:20,100 --> 00:50:23,437 But I didn't think I would be that someone. 803 00:50:25,939 --> 00:50:27,107 I was wrong. 804 00:50:29,735 --> 00:50:30,944 Because I have. 805 00:50:32,404 --> 00:50:33,739 And I do love you. 806 00:50:36,908 --> 00:50:40,871 You have opened up things in me 807 00:50:41,788 --> 00:50:44,374 I thought were shut down for good. 808 00:50:44,458 --> 00:50:47,961 I've been waiting a long time for something like this. 809 00:50:49,588 --> 00:50:50,964 A really long time. 810 00:50:51,465 --> 00:50:54,217 And I feel like it's finally my turn. 811 00:50:55,635 --> 00:50:58,638 Like this might actually be 812 00:50:59,264 --> 00:51:02,476 my rom-com happy ending. 813 00:51:03,477 --> 00:51:06,063 -I know, I'm so cheesy. -No, I love it. 814 00:51:09,024 --> 00:51:11,276 I've been thinking a lot about 815 00:51:12,736 --> 00:51:14,154 what happens after this. 816 00:51:15,739 --> 00:51:18,909 And I don't know 817 00:51:19,659 --> 00:51:23,246 what your generation calls it these days. 818 00:51:23,955 --> 00:51:25,123 Hard launch. 819 00:51:26,291 --> 00:51:27,626 Soft launch. 820 00:51:28,710 --> 00:51:33,090 Probably something way cooler than what I'm about to say. 821 00:51:34,216 --> 00:51:35,050 But 822 00:51:35,759 --> 00:51:40,305 I would really love to leave here with you as my girlfriend. 823 00:51:40,388 --> 00:51:42,182 Do you want to hard-launch me? 824 00:51:42,265 --> 00:51:43,809 I want to hard-launch you. 825 00:51:44,976 --> 00:51:47,145 I'm gonna need you to answer before I continue. 826 00:51:47,229 --> 00:51:49,064 Okay. Okay. 827 00:51:50,357 --> 00:51:51,983 I want to commit to you, 828 00:51:52,651 --> 00:51:55,904 and I want a relationship with you outside of here 829 00:51:55,987 --> 00:51:59,908 because I also love you too. 830 00:52:00,492 --> 00:52:01,576 Come here. 831 00:52:03,453 --> 00:52:05,122 Oh my God. 832 00:52:09,209 --> 00:52:10,043 All right. 833 00:52:10,127 --> 00:52:13,296 So, there is one more thing. 834 00:52:14,089 --> 00:52:15,298 My daughters. 835 00:52:16,133 --> 00:52:20,345 They are the most important thing to me. 836 00:52:21,596 --> 00:52:24,724 With you, you make me feel safe. 837 00:52:25,350 --> 00:52:27,853 You make it feel safe to open up 838 00:52:28,687 --> 00:52:30,021 that box again. 839 00:52:31,273 --> 00:52:35,652 And I would really love for you to come to Baltimore, 840 00:52:36,153 --> 00:52:41,408 for you to meet my daughters because I do see you 841 00:52:42,409 --> 00:52:45,245 in my future forever. 842 00:52:45,328 --> 00:52:47,747 That means the world coming from you. 843 00:52:48,790 --> 00:52:50,041 That's really sweet. 844 00:52:50,709 --> 00:52:51,877 I think that 845 00:52:52,836 --> 00:52:56,548 I know how important your daughters are to you. 846 00:52:56,631 --> 00:52:58,967 And I want you to know that 847 00:52:59,926 --> 00:53:03,471 I think that that's something that's equally important to me. 848 00:53:03,555 --> 00:53:05,891 And I think that 849 00:53:05,974 --> 00:53:10,103 if you were willing to open that part of your life to me, 850 00:53:10,187 --> 00:53:11,271 I would be 851 00:53:12,189 --> 00:53:14,733 happy to be a part of it. 852 00:53:15,942 --> 00:53:18,153 I really do love you. 853 00:53:20,947 --> 00:53:22,866 I really do love you too. 854 00:53:22,949 --> 00:53:25,410 Whoa 855 00:53:25,493 --> 00:53:29,873 I will be there for you 856 00:53:29,956 --> 00:53:31,875 Oh, for you 857 00:53:41,843 --> 00:53:44,221 I'm in a really good place in my life. 858 00:53:44,304 --> 00:53:46,848 I'm getting ready to turn 50 years old. 859 00:53:46,932 --> 00:53:50,143 I've never felt more comfortable in my body, 860 00:53:50,227 --> 00:53:52,437 financially, spiritually, everything. 861 00:53:52,520 --> 00:53:55,232 And the one thing that is missing is love. 862 00:53:55,315 --> 00:53:59,152 And I know I'll see you soon 863 00:54:00,153 --> 00:54:02,697 I thought I was never gonna find love again, 864 00:54:02,781 --> 00:54:06,618 but Logan makes my heart feel full, and he gives me hope, 865 00:54:06,701 --> 00:54:09,746 and he makes me feel alive. 866 00:54:09,829 --> 00:54:13,792 So no more goodbyes 867 00:54:14,334 --> 00:54:17,087 Build it all with you… 868 00:54:17,170 --> 00:54:20,298 Logan and I have had a lot of ups and downs. 869 00:54:20,382 --> 00:54:24,302 We're finally at a really good place, except for the question mark, 870 00:54:24,386 --> 00:54:26,096 is he ready for a commitment? 871 00:54:26,179 --> 00:54:30,392 Is Logan gonna take a step forward and be ready for a commitment? 872 00:54:30,475 --> 00:54:35,480 Or is he ready to go back to his party-boy lifestyle in Dallas, 873 00:54:35,563 --> 00:54:39,567 and I'll go back to Ohio and start over from square one? 874 00:54:40,235 --> 00:54:44,197 I'll see the sun 875 00:54:46,825 --> 00:54:51,162 The thought of going home alone would just be devastating. 876 00:54:51,246 --> 00:54:52,789 I don't want this to end. 877 00:54:54,207 --> 00:54:58,211 There's been days When I've lost myself 878 00:54:58,295 --> 00:55:00,964 I've obviously fallen in love with Vanessa. 879 00:55:01,047 --> 00:55:04,092 Our love feels so in sync. 880 00:55:04,175 --> 00:55:08,930 It feels like something that I really, to be honest, I didn't think I would find. 881 00:55:09,014 --> 00:55:12,392 If I could write 882 00:55:13,393 --> 00:55:16,062 What fills my bones… 883 00:55:16,146 --> 00:55:20,066 She loves me in a way that I haven't been loved before. 884 00:55:21,109 --> 00:55:23,945 It's crazy that she's 20 years older than me, 885 00:55:24,029 --> 00:55:25,447 but regardless of age, 886 00:55:25,530 --> 00:55:28,658 I don't know if I'm gonna find anybody like Vanessa. 887 00:55:32,245 --> 00:55:35,081 Going into the commitment ceremony, the unknown is, 888 00:55:35,165 --> 00:55:37,792 am I gonna be able to give her what she truly wants? 889 00:55:38,752 --> 00:55:40,045 There's a chance that, 890 00:55:41,004 --> 00:55:43,965 you know, I get up there and see this woman I've fallen in love with, 891 00:55:44,049 --> 00:55:45,967 and it's picture-perfect. 892 00:55:46,051 --> 00:55:47,719 And there's a chance 893 00:55:47,802 --> 00:55:50,513 that I might not be able to meet those expectations. 894 00:55:50,597 --> 00:55:51,723 There's a chance that 895 00:55:52,891 --> 00:55:55,518 we walk away without each other. 896 00:55:56,853 --> 00:56:00,523 See the sun 897 00:56:00,607 --> 00:56:01,983 -Hi. -Hey. 898 00:56:02,067 --> 00:56:03,443 You look so cute. 899 00:56:04,027 --> 00:56:06,237 -Good to see you. -I'm so nervous. 900 00:56:06,321 --> 00:56:07,864 -Yeah, right? -Yeah. 901 00:56:10,700 --> 00:56:14,037 Can I hold your hands? It helps me with my nerves. 902 00:56:16,247 --> 00:56:20,794 Logan, when I first met you, you were such a gentleman. 903 00:56:20,877 --> 00:56:22,962 We had an amazing conversation. 904 00:56:23,046 --> 00:56:26,174 And then we go out on our date… 905 00:56:26,257 --> 00:56:29,969 …and you tell me you're worried about the optics of dating an older woman. 906 00:56:30,053 --> 00:56:33,890 And I'm like, "What is up with this guy? I can't figure him out." 907 00:56:33,973 --> 00:56:36,518 So I was like, forget it, you know? 908 00:56:36,601 --> 00:56:41,272 But you did a few things that were really important to me. 909 00:56:44,609 --> 00:56:46,236 You apologized, 910 00:56:46,319 --> 00:56:48,655 and you took accountability for your actions. 911 00:56:48,738 --> 00:56:50,365 And that meant a lot to me. 912 00:56:50,448 --> 00:56:53,910 So I decided I really wanna give this guy a chance. 913 00:56:56,496 --> 00:56:57,956 Um… 914 00:56:58,998 --> 00:56:59,833 Yeah. 915 00:57:00,583 --> 00:57:03,420 I feel that with you 916 00:57:03,503 --> 00:57:08,091 I opened up more than anyone else I've ever opened up to in my life. 917 00:57:08,174 --> 00:57:09,551 I feel safe with you. 918 00:57:09,634 --> 00:57:11,803 And that's something that's so important to me. 919 00:57:13,471 --> 00:57:16,599 I was really in a dark time before I came here. 920 00:57:16,683 --> 00:57:19,978 You know, I lost my mom, and it's been almost a year. 921 00:57:20,061 --> 00:57:23,773 And being with you, you brought light back into my life. 922 00:57:23,857 --> 00:57:26,359 And I'm happy that you're here. 923 00:57:26,943 --> 00:57:28,236 I'm happy to be here. 924 00:57:31,739 --> 00:57:37,787 Yeah. I mean, our journey has been everything but picture-perfect. 925 00:57:38,288 --> 00:57:41,916 Despite the whirlwind, we found a connection. 926 00:57:42,917 --> 00:57:48,381 And I think, you know, you challenged me, and you asked me the tough questions 927 00:57:48,465 --> 00:57:53,011 and wondered if I was ready for a commitment, 928 00:57:53,094 --> 00:57:55,054 ready for something serious, or… 929 00:57:56,389 --> 00:57:58,558 -…I was just another fling for you. -Yeah. 930 00:58:00,393 --> 00:58:04,689 But the reality is you have made me into a better man. 931 00:58:05,482 --> 00:58:10,820 And going on this process with you, it was like nothing I could imagine. 932 00:58:11,404 --> 00:58:16,201 I'm glad after all those hardships that we landed in this place of peace 933 00:58:16,284 --> 00:58:18,745 and love, and there's no more fighting. 934 00:58:18,828 --> 00:58:23,208 And I don't wanna go back to my old life without you in it. 935 00:58:23,291 --> 00:58:25,418 So that being said, 936 00:58:25,502 --> 00:58:30,465 I would like to bring you into my world and meet my family, 937 00:58:30,548 --> 00:58:33,092 meet my friends, and be by my side. 938 00:58:33,176 --> 00:58:35,720 And, you know, as we move forward, 939 00:58:35,803 --> 00:58:38,097 I'm hoping you would do the same for me 940 00:58:38,181 --> 00:58:41,726 and allow me to meet your friends and your family 941 00:58:41,809 --> 00:58:43,478 and be a part of your world 942 00:58:43,561 --> 00:58:45,855 'cause I really want you to be part of my world. 943 00:58:57,075 --> 00:58:59,077 Is this the part you break up with me? 944 00:59:03,831 --> 00:59:05,083 Here's the thing. 945 00:59:11,589 --> 00:59:14,092 Our journey has had a lot of ups and downs. 946 00:59:15,927 --> 00:59:18,846 And the chaos that we've found 947 00:59:20,098 --> 00:59:22,183 is… It's-- 948 00:59:24,102 --> 00:59:28,398 You know, is that toxic, or was it healthy, right? 949 00:59:30,191 --> 00:59:34,070 And it's really made me question 950 00:59:35,905 --> 00:59:39,659 whether or not it's… it's… it's good for us, right? 951 00:59:41,869 --> 00:59:42,996 The time alone 952 00:59:44,581 --> 00:59:49,877 has made me realize that maybe I'm not the man for you. 953 00:59:51,421 --> 00:59:52,338 Maybe 954 00:59:53,965 --> 00:59:55,300 I'm not good enough for you. 955 00:59:55,383 --> 00:59:56,593 I truly questioned that. 956 01:00:01,764 --> 01:00:05,268 It's-- It has been difficult and… 957 01:00:06,728 --> 01:00:09,731 I don't wanna make promises that I can't keep. 958 01:00:12,025 --> 01:00:12,859 So… 959 01:00:19,240 --> 01:00:20,992 I need the promise ring back. 960 01:00:53,816 --> 01:00:55,443 It's been a tough journey. 961 01:00:57,570 --> 01:01:00,615 My first instinct is always the correct instinct. 962 01:01:00,698 --> 01:01:04,285 And I should stick with my first gut instinct on someone. 963 01:01:04,869 --> 01:01:05,703 Yeah. 964 01:01:05,787 --> 01:01:09,457 And maybe I was just trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. 965 01:01:10,541 --> 01:01:13,211 And my picker was wrong once again. 966 01:01:15,004 --> 01:01:15,838 Yeah. 967 01:01:16,339 --> 01:01:17,215 But… 968 01:01:20,218 --> 01:01:23,846 During my alone time, I've also realized that 969 01:01:25,014 --> 01:01:27,850 maybe I don't have to be the perfect man. 970 01:01:31,145 --> 01:01:36,192 Maybe I just needed to be the guy that was there for you 971 01:01:36,693 --> 01:01:40,113 throughout all the good times, highs and lows. 972 01:01:40,196 --> 01:01:43,658 Somebody that you could talk to and count on. 973 01:01:43,741 --> 01:01:47,453 Somebody that'd always be there for you just like your mom was before she left. 974 01:01:49,497 --> 01:01:52,583 And I think, spending time with you, 975 01:01:53,668 --> 01:01:55,253 enjoying you, 976 01:01:56,295 --> 01:01:58,506 not realizing there was an age gap, 977 01:01:59,924 --> 01:02:01,259 has made me 978 01:02:02,301 --> 01:02:04,429 want to commit. 979 01:02:04,512 --> 01:02:06,514 So let it go… 980 01:02:06,597 --> 01:02:08,141 What is happening? 981 01:02:09,976 --> 01:02:10,810 What? 982 01:02:11,310 --> 01:02:13,146 I don't want this journey to end. 983 01:02:13,229 --> 01:02:16,023 Oh my God. What is happening here? 984 01:02:16,107 --> 01:02:18,151 And you know, 985 01:02:19,360 --> 01:02:22,822 it's been a crazy roller coaster of a ride. 986 01:02:24,615 --> 01:02:27,285 But I'm not getting off anytime soon. 987 01:02:28,286 --> 01:02:29,746 I love the shit out of you. 988 01:02:30,830 --> 01:02:34,584 And, uh, you know, I wanna make a promise and a commitment. 989 01:02:37,420 --> 01:02:39,422 You're someone who deserves everything. 990 01:02:40,423 --> 01:02:42,091 What is happening? 991 01:02:42,175 --> 01:02:45,094 And someone who deserves the Kobe ring. 992 01:02:45,178 --> 01:02:47,180 Stop it. No. 993 01:02:49,098 --> 01:02:50,933 Is this really happening? 994 01:02:51,559 --> 01:02:54,103 -Vanessa… -Stop it! 995 01:02:54,687 --> 01:02:56,939 I'm not ready to get off anytime soon. 996 01:02:57,023 --> 01:02:59,150 Oh my God. What is happening? 997 01:02:59,233 --> 01:03:00,318 So… 998 01:03:01,569 --> 01:03:04,322 You wanna continue this journey and do life together? 999 01:03:04,405 --> 01:03:08,451 The only thing I'm waiting for is you 1000 01:03:10,870 --> 01:03:11,996 Yes. I do. 1001 01:03:15,541 --> 01:03:17,335 Oh my God. I'm shaking. 1002 01:03:19,253 --> 01:03:20,171 So… 1003 01:03:20,254 --> 01:03:21,756 -Oh my God. -There is that. 1004 01:03:22,256 --> 01:03:25,009 Oh my God. It's so pretty. 1005 01:03:25,092 --> 01:03:28,137 -So let's do it. -Oh my gosh. I fucking love you. 1006 01:03:31,390 --> 01:03:34,101 Oh my God. 1007 01:03:34,185 --> 01:03:36,145 -That's insane. -Oh my goodness. 1008 01:03:36,229 --> 01:03:38,856 -You got red lipstick on you. -Yeah, I know. 1009 01:03:39,774 --> 01:03:41,859 Oh my God. I'm shaking. 1010 01:03:41,943 --> 01:03:43,986 You tricked me so bad. 1011 01:03:45,530 --> 01:03:48,032 When you started attacking me, I was like, "Oh shit." 1012 01:03:49,283 --> 01:03:51,244 Oh my God. 1013 01:03:51,744 --> 01:03:52,954 Oh my God. 1014 01:03:53,037 --> 01:03:55,832 'Cause we are better 1015 01:03:57,166 --> 01:03:58,042 We're better… 1016 01:03:58,125 --> 01:03:59,961 Age doesn't matter for us. 1017 01:04:00,044 --> 01:04:02,547 As crazy as it is to 1018 01:04:04,090 --> 01:04:08,427 get engaged to somebody that's 20 years older than me, it's… 1019 01:04:08,511 --> 01:04:09,804 It's Vanessa. 1020 01:04:09,887 --> 01:04:13,558 She's… the one that has changed me, 1021 01:04:13,641 --> 01:04:17,061 and she's the one that's made me feel ways that I haven't felt before. 1022 01:04:17,144 --> 01:04:21,232 So, you know, at the end of the day it's what I wanted. 1023 01:04:21,816 --> 01:04:25,361 I ran every scenario of what could happen when I was coming here, 1024 01:04:25,444 --> 01:04:29,657 but the one scenario I didn't think of was finding the love of my life. 1025 01:04:30,366 --> 01:04:33,828 I came into this experience with a complete open mind, 1026 01:04:33,911 --> 01:04:37,665 and I'm really super happy with how it ended. 1027 01:04:45,131 --> 01:04:48,467 I did not think I was gonna come into this experience 1028 01:04:48,551 --> 01:04:50,761 and completely change my life. 1029 01:04:50,845 --> 01:04:51,804 What was your name? 1030 01:04:51,888 --> 01:04:53,222 -Derrick. -Derrick. I'm Pfeifer. 1031 01:04:53,306 --> 01:04:54,640 I love your eyes. 1032 01:04:54,724 --> 01:04:55,850 -Thank you, me too. -Wow. 1033 01:04:57,226 --> 01:05:00,521 It's so rare that you find somebody that you connect with like this. 1034 01:05:00,605 --> 01:05:03,357 And I never would've expected it to go this way, 1035 01:05:03,441 --> 01:05:05,443 but I'm so grateful that it has. 1036 01:05:08,195 --> 01:05:09,614 You wanna get-- 1037 01:05:09,697 --> 01:05:12,241 Pfeifer's definitely the person I've been looking for. 1038 01:05:12,325 --> 01:05:14,493 She's humble. She's loving. 1039 01:05:14,577 --> 01:05:18,289 All of those are, like, something that I've definitely wanted, 1040 01:05:18,372 --> 01:05:21,083 but I honestly didn't know that it existed. 1041 01:05:21,167 --> 01:05:23,753 I've always thought age was just a number. 1042 01:05:23,836 --> 01:05:28,215 And damn, yeah, this experience really proves that it's just that. 1043 01:05:28,299 --> 01:05:31,552 Only love can light it up 1044 01:05:31,636 --> 01:05:34,931 I came here to try something completely unorthodox 1045 01:05:35,014 --> 01:05:37,600 to meet people from all different ages. 1046 01:05:37,683 --> 01:05:39,602 And if anyone said, you're gonna come here 1047 01:05:39,685 --> 01:05:42,772 and you're gonna fall for a guy that's 20 years younger than you, 1048 01:05:42,855 --> 01:05:45,149 I'd be like, you're absolutely crazy. 1049 01:05:46,484 --> 01:05:49,820 Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou, Romeo? 1050 01:05:49,904 --> 01:05:52,156 No way. Isn't this supposed to be the opposite way? 1051 01:05:52,239 --> 01:05:53,866 You're supposed to be up here with your hair. 1052 01:05:53,950 --> 01:05:56,994 But what Logan and I have is something really special. 1053 01:05:57,787 --> 01:06:01,040 So I am 49. 1054 01:06:02,667 --> 01:06:03,918 I was gonna guess 29. 1055 01:06:08,547 --> 01:06:09,632 Why Vanessa? 1056 01:06:09,715 --> 01:06:12,969 I mean, I could have connected with anybody else. 1057 01:06:13,052 --> 01:06:16,722 There were 19 other women at the retreat, some closer in age to me, 1058 01:06:16,806 --> 01:06:20,601 but I don't think I would love anybody else like the way I love Vanessa. 1059 01:06:20,685 --> 01:06:21,852 She's one in a million. 1060 01:06:21,936 --> 01:06:24,021 Where do we go from here, you know? 1061 01:06:24,105 --> 01:06:26,899 -What's next is we enjoy tonight. -Stop it. 1062 01:06:27,733 --> 01:06:32,321 I thought I was going to go into the last years of my life alone. 1063 01:06:32,405 --> 01:06:36,742 And now, here I am turning 50, and I'm in love. 1064 01:06:37,410 --> 01:06:41,330 So when you're feeling heartless And you're in the darkness 1065 01:06:41,414 --> 01:06:44,375 Only love can light it up 1066 01:06:44,458 --> 01:06:48,004 I got more than everything I've ever wanted out of this experience. 1067 01:06:48,087 --> 01:06:52,049 I met somebody I never thought I would meet. 1068 01:06:52,133 --> 01:06:53,551 One, go! 1069 01:06:53,634 --> 01:06:57,304 Andrew does see me for the real me and not my age. 1070 01:06:57,388 --> 01:07:00,850 He sees parts of me that a lot of people don't, 1071 01:07:00,933 --> 01:07:03,894 and he just recognizes it, and he appreciates it. 1072 01:07:03,978 --> 01:07:05,396 I don't think I've had that before. 1073 01:07:05,479 --> 01:07:09,025 I'm enjoying what we have right now. I'm waking up to you. 1074 01:07:09,108 --> 01:07:11,485 Yeah. This is probably the nicest thing I'll ever say to you. 1075 01:07:11,569 --> 01:07:15,573 But the more I get to know you, the more I like you more. 1076 01:07:15,656 --> 01:07:19,118 I really do feel like I got my rom-com happy ending, 1077 01:07:19,201 --> 01:07:21,996 and I don't think I could've scripted it any better. 1078 01:07:22,079 --> 01:07:24,457 Only love can light it up… 1079 01:07:25,291 --> 01:07:30,588 I absolutely believe age is just a number because I never would have thought 1080 01:07:30,671 --> 01:07:36,260 that I could connect with somebody that is 27 years old on this level. 1081 01:07:36,343 --> 01:07:38,637 Light it up, light it up 1082 01:07:38,721 --> 01:07:39,764 I'm gonna go for it. 1083 01:07:40,723 --> 01:07:44,101 I love Theresa. I love how she makes me feel. 1084 01:07:44,185 --> 01:07:45,061 All right. 1085 01:07:45,144 --> 01:07:48,355 And for seeing me for who I am 1086 01:07:48,439 --> 01:07:50,733 and loving me and accepting me 1087 01:07:50,816 --> 01:07:53,694 for a 27-year-old who's a little more mature. 1088 01:07:54,195 --> 01:07:57,823 It's the connection that counts, not the candles on the cake. 1089 01:07:57,907 --> 01:08:00,076 -Should I grab your ass? -Yeah. 1090 01:08:03,662 --> 01:08:06,040 Oh I, oh I 1091 01:08:06,123 --> 01:08:09,251 I see it in a new light, new light 1092 01:08:09,335 --> 01:08:12,880 Oh I, I see it in a new light 1093 01:08:12,963 --> 01:08:15,216 Looking at it with fresh eyes 1094 01:08:15,299 --> 01:08:17,301 I'm ready for the best life 1095 01:08:17,384 --> 01:08:21,597 Oh I, oh I, I see it in a new light 1096 01:08:22,181 --> 01:08:24,892 I see it in a new light 1097 01:08:24,975 --> 01:08:26,602 I see it in a new light 1098 01:08:26,685 --> 01:08:29,605 I see it in a new light 1099 01:08:29,688 --> 01:08:30,940 I see it 1100 01:08:31,023 --> 01:08:31,982 New light 1101 01:08:32,066 --> 01:08:35,528 Oh I, I see it in a new light 1102 01:08:35,611 --> 01:08:36,779 New light 1103 01:08:36,862 --> 01:08:40,074 Oh I, I see it in a new light 1104 01:08:40,157 --> 01:08:44,662 Oh I, oh I, I see it in a new light 1105 01:08:44,745 --> 01:08:45,621 New light 1106 01:08:45,704 --> 01:08:49,500 Oh I, I see it in a new light 1107 01:08:49,583 --> 01:08:51,752 Looking at it with fresh eyes 1108 01:08:51,836 --> 01:08:53,838 I'm ready for the best life 1109 01:08:53,921 --> 01:08:54,922 New light 1110 01:08:55,005 --> 01:08:58,259 Oh I, I see it in a new light