1
00:00:00,751 --> 00:00:02,294
♪♪

2
00:00:02,377 --> 00:00:04,755
Susan: I don't know
how much clearer we can be.

3
00:00:04,796 --> 00:00:07,174
The Party doesn't care
about you kicking Mothman

4
00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:08,634
into high-voltage fencing.

5
00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:10,177
Where's our
infrastructure bill?

6
00:00:10,260 --> 00:00:11,803
Where's our
Supreme Court stacking?

7
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,973
Susan, come on,
it's my job to eliminate fear.

8
00:00:15,057 --> 00:00:16,433
That piece of shit's
been flying around,

9
00:00:16,475 --> 00:00:18,393
mothballing cheerleaders
for decades.

10
00:00:18,477 --> 00:00:20,562
Andre, I know you don't think
you work for The Party,

11
00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:23,524
but we sure as fuck
don't work for you.

12
00:00:23,607 --> 00:00:26,151
Your job is to support
our interests.

13
00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:27,486
[ Sighs ] Bye, Andre.

14
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,154
Yeah okay, bye.

15
00:00:29,238 --> 00:00:30,822
Tony, set a meeting
with The Party --

16
00:00:30,906 --> 00:00:33,158
I'm starting to think
we shouldn't support Curtis

17
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,618
for re-election.

18
00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:36,328
Party Leader: Totally.
He's a fluke one-termer.

19
00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:37,621
[ Chair squeaks ]
Did you hear that?

20
00:00:37,663 --> 00:00:39,331
You think he's still
on the call?

21
00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:41,291
Quietly listening
as insecurity sets in?

22
00:00:41,333 --> 00:00:42,876
Ugh.
Banks: Well, that went well.

23
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,254
Oh, my god, this is why
I waved you out of the office.

24
00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:47,005
Sir, why didn't you
tell me about that call?

25
00:00:47,089 --> 00:00:48,590
It's my job to help
with Party drama.

26
00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:50,300
You think I give a shit
about The Party?

27
00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:52,177
When you need to know something,
you'll know.

28
00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:54,096
Like now.
You should know I gotta piss.

29
00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:56,348
[ Pee trickling,
toilet flushes ]

30
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,684
♪ Mm, he's part robot,
he's part cop ♪

31
00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:01,520
Mysterious woman:
Come see me.

32
00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:02,688
Hello?

33
00:01:04,522 --> 00:01:06,650
♪ Detroit streets
are safe as hell ♪

34
00:01:06,692 --> 00:01:07,818
Are you afraid?

35
00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:09,236
You're weak.

36
00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:11,697
You have a little dick
and balls.

37
00:01:12,864 --> 00:01:14,366
Shit.

38
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:16,868
I'm just saying --
Seriously, Banks?

39
00:01:16,952 --> 00:01:19,246
Outside the bathroom?
Well you walked away before.

40
00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:21,331
Gather the staff.
We're going to Camp David.

41
00:01:21,373 --> 00:01:23,834
Camp David?
You're taking a vacation now?

42
00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:25,919
We leave in twenty.
Ugh.

43
00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:28,297
Don't ever stand around
waiting for him, okay?

44
00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:30,716
That's my thing.
How long were you behind me?

45
00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:33,844
If you're asking if I heard
you fart, the answer is yes.

46
00:01:34,886 --> 00:01:38,223
Are you trying to fart again,
what is wrong with you?

47
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:44,771
♪♪

48
00:01:44,854 --> 00:01:51,152
♪♪

49
00:01:51,235 --> 00:01:57,743
♪♪

50
00:01:57,783 --> 00:02:04,416
♪♪

51
00:02:06,585 --> 00:02:09,170
"She can't touch you."
Yeah no shit, Truman.

52
00:02:09,253 --> 00:02:10,756
"Always jerk off
before you go,"

53
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:12,132
how is that advice, Clinton?

54
00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:13,383
Useless.

55
00:02:13,425 --> 00:02:15,177
Should I read that too?

56
00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:16,762
Oh, are you a President?

57
00:02:16,845 --> 00:02:18,513
Because it's a book passed
down between Presidents.

58
00:02:18,597 --> 00:02:20,265
What are you, five?
Just tell me what's going on.

59
00:02:20,349 --> 00:02:22,517
When summoned to Camp David,
a President must undergo

60
00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:24,269
a test of mental will
at the hands of

61
00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:26,103
an ancient witch named "David".

62
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:28,273
We're coming here
to mind duel with a witch?

63
00:02:28,357 --> 00:02:29,941
Not us, him.

64
00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:31,943
Alone, again.

65
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,236
Solitarily.

66
00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:34,446
Oh, my god, guys,
it's nothing.

67
00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:35,697
She can't even touch me.

68
00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:37,281
I just have to
make it to sunrise

69
00:02:37,366 --> 00:02:38,825
without surrendering
my kingdom.

70
00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:40,452
Uhh...
She's ancient.

71
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,120
The terminology
hasn't aged well.

72
00:02:42,204 --> 00:02:43,997
Driver: Sir?
[ Car squeals ]

73
00:02:44,081 --> 00:02:45,207
We're here.

74
00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:46,625
[ Curtis Grunts ]

75
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,460
I thought it was a
test of mental will,

76
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,420
why am I staring
at his bare ass?
Part of the ritual.

77
00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:52,297
Apparently the pact
was made by Roosevelt,

78
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:53,882
the wheelchair one
not the mustache one.

79
00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:56,593
If you pass the test,
she remains tethered here.

80
00:02:56,635 --> 00:02:58,512
Hey.
You think he's gonna fire me?

81
00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:00,389
What?
Curtis. I dunno...

82
00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:02,140
Feels like he's not
telling me things on purpose.

83
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,059
His job isn't to tell you shit.

84
00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:05,477
I've asked a lot about the witch

85
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:06,937
and all he's told me
is she's basically

86
00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:08,397
like a sexy roast comic.

87
00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:10,982
Nothing to fear.
See you nerds after sunrise.

88
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,192
So that's it?

89
00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:13,985
He just peaces out
until morning?

90
00:03:14,069 --> 00:03:16,279
What do we do?
We go to Camp.

91
00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:23,078
♪♪

92
00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:25,831
♪ Wolf is howlin, my guy ♪

93
00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:29,167
Campers: ♪ Kum bay ya ♪

94
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,252
Wow.

95
00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:31,336
I've never felt such an urge

96
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:32,170
to give someone a swirly.

97
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:33,672
Good luck.

98
00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:35,257
All the toilets here
are eco-friendly since Obama.

99
00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:36,966
Ugh, here come The Lifers.

100
00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:38,009
"The Lifers"?

101
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,469
Yeah, White House staffers

102
00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:41,096
who have worked for
multiple administrations.

103
00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:42,180
You don't wanna
hang with them,

104
00:03:42,264 --> 00:03:43,807
they hate presidents.

105
00:03:43,849 --> 00:03:45,517
What? That's insane,
we work with Janice every day.

106
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:46,810
Just trust me on this one.

107
00:03:46,852 --> 00:03:48,270
They're loyal
to the White House,

108
00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:49,521
we're loyal to Curtis.

109
00:03:49,603 --> 00:03:50,897
It's oil and waddles.

110
00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:52,691
You mean "water"?
Whatever, college.

111
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,317
I'm gonna go sign up
for the canoes

112
00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:56,027
before Chomps bogarts
all the good shit.

113
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,362
[ Laughter ]

114
00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:58,864
Hey what's up, guys.

115
00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:00,282
Janice, Chef Matteo,

116
00:04:00,365 --> 00:04:02,242
Michael in accounting,
Chief Usher Cherri.

117
00:04:02,325 --> 00:04:04,202
Love the jacket.
What are those stars?

118
00:04:04,286 --> 00:04:05,746
[ Scoffs ]
And an ice cream cone?

119
00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:07,038
Watch out guys,

120
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,415
the new Temp's trying
to make small talk.

121
00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:10,208
Temp.
Dead Temp Walking.

122
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,461
Okay you clearly know my name,
I'm your boss.

123
00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:13,754
Yeah, for now.

124
00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:15,338
Look at those pictures.
Look at 'em.

125
00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,382
Temps like you
leech onto a president,

126
00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:19,509
then poof, who gives a shit.

127
00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:20,886
That's why we put go hard

128
00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:22,721
for the nonpartisan side
of government,

129
00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:26,016
and let the manchilds
rise and fall like the McRib.

130
00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:28,727
This is my
eighteenth Camp David.

131
00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:30,353
Thirteenth.
Twenty-second.

132
00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:32,397
Oh, you know me,
I don't Camp and tell.

133
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:34,357
Hey Cher, just signed us up
for axe throwing.

134
00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:35,734
Let's go, pussies.

135
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:37,194
Matteo: Whoo-hoo.
Michael: Oh, yeah.

136
00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:38,445
Enjoy it while you can,
Temp.

137
00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:39,696
In your job,
there's a good chance

138
00:04:39,738 --> 00:04:41,364
this is your last Camp David.

139
00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:42,824
[ Laughs ]

140
00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:44,201
Did I just get bullied?

141
00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:45,911
And did I like it?

142
00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:48,663
[ Animals chattering,
Curtis whistling ]

143
00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:50,874
[ Swamp bubbling ]

144
00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:52,082
Oh, boy.

145
00:04:52,167 --> 00:04:53,960
Let the games begin.

146
00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:58,215
You've come
to challenge me again?

147
00:04:58,256 --> 00:05:01,259
Well, I think
you'll like my new form.

148
00:05:01,343 --> 00:05:03,428
Curtis: Whoa...Oh...

149
00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:05,055
Oh, god. O-Okay.

150
00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:07,432
Did you skim an image
of a naked woman from my mind

151
00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:09,643
and think, "This, but
water balloon carnival game"?

152
00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:11,269
I mean you fully
skipped the nipples.

153
00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:14,689
Are you ready to surrender
your kingdom to me, Andre?

154
00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:17,651
Quit now, and release me
from this pact.

155
00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:19,444
Eh, I think I'll just
let you talk shit

156
00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:20,654
and make it to sunrise.

157
00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:22,113
Then you stay trapped here,

158
00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:23,949
and I'll go eat
an omelet or something.

159
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:27,786
Ugh, I know you're just gonna
do the jump scare thing.

160
00:05:28,286 --> 00:05:31,206
Are you sure you
don't want to kiss me?

161
00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:32,874
Surrender to it.

162
00:05:32,957 --> 00:05:34,668
You're mist.
You can't even touch me.

163
00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:38,463
The more you believe,
the more tangible I become.

164
00:05:38,547 --> 00:05:41,007
Come on, I got all these boobs.

165
00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:44,219
[ Laughs ] I'm sorry but,
you just look ridiculous.

166
00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:46,930
As you wish.

167
00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:48,974
Curtis: Ah, here we go,
twenty bucks says

168
00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:50,767
you're gonna be
someone from my family.

169
00:05:50,808 --> 00:05:51,977
Andre?

170
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:54,312
Oh, my god,
you went straight for my mom??

171
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,439
Son, I --
I never got to tell you

172
00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:57,899
before I died that you were

173
00:05:57,983 --> 00:05:59,818
[demonic voice]
a huge disappointment.

174
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:02,654
[ Laughs ] My real mom
was scarier than that.

175
00:06:02,737 --> 00:06:05,156
Keep talking, you're making
me all sentimental.

176
00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:09,160
I worry about him out there.

177
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:10,662
All alone in those woods.

178
00:06:10,745 --> 00:06:12,414
[ Scoffs ] If you're worried,
go check on him.

179
00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:13,665
You think I don't want to?

180
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,041
I'm rowing a canoe
in a full suit

181
00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:16,376
just in case Curtis needs me.

182
00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:18,253
I'm chaffing.
I dunno.

183
00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:19,629
I was talking with the Lifers,

184
00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:20,881
and what they said
kinda made sense.

185
00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:22,173
Like, are we putting
too much faith

186
00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:23,341
in this one guy?

187
00:06:23,425 --> 00:06:24,885
Are you fuckin' nuts?
What?

188
00:06:24,968 --> 00:06:26,678
I told you,
the Lifers wouldn't care

189
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,430
if Curtis ate glass
through his dick.

190
00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:29,931
Dicks don't have mouths.

191
00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,308
Then how do we pee?

192
00:06:31,349 --> 00:06:33,018
Who we serve matters, Banks.

193
00:06:33,058 --> 00:06:35,020
You think I'm gonna take
a bullet for the next guy?

194
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:37,188
Maybe the next guy
would actually tell us shit.

195
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,356
Oh, my god.

196
00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:39,649
Why don't you
just admit that

197
00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:41,109
this isn't about
The Lifers at all,

198
00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:42,569
it's about Trent McGaffin.

199
00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:44,529
What? Who's Trent McGaffin?

200
00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:46,531
So you've never seen
the other hot guy

201
00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:48,700
who isn't me strutting
around the office?

202
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:51,328
[ Scoffs ] Yeah, right.
Unbelievable.

203
00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:54,122
Okay, so he's on
a whole different story.

204
00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:56,041
[ Lifers laughing ]

205
00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:57,082
Matteo: Whoo.

206
00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:58,460
[ Grunts ] Mark it.

207
00:06:58,543 --> 00:06:59,711
Two points for the cheek.

208
00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:01,588
Whattup Lifers.
You throwing axes?

209
00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:03,465
Uh, hit the bricks, Temp.

210
00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:04,716
We reserved this spot.

211
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,384
Yeah, well,
I was thinking about

212
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:07,594
what you said and...

213
00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:09,512
Wait, is that a Xerox'd ass?

214
00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:10,805
Janice: Kennedy's.

215
00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:12,307
He used to write letters
on the back.

216
00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:14,059
The cheeks were
basically his wax seal.

217
00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:16,186
Let me guess,
you see a President's ass

218
00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:17,354
and you want to kiss it.

219
00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:18,647
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.

220
00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:20,482
"Oh, Mr. Kennedy."

221
00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:21,733
Mwah.
Uh-huh. [ Grunts ]

222
00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:23,068
[ Excited chattering ]

223
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:24,653
Wow, that's humbling.
[ Grunts ]

224
00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:26,154
Whoa.
Michael: That's ten points.

225
00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:28,031
Right in the crack.
That's an ass cheek turkey.

226
00:07:28,073 --> 00:07:30,075
Put me down for thirty.
Damn.

227
00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:32,744
You really aren't like the other
Chiefs of Staff, are you?

228
00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:35,580
Jan Jan, exactly how many
did Curtis have before her?

229
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:38,207
Richardson, TaunTaun,
Booger, Steve, Steve Jr.,

230
00:07:38,249 --> 00:07:41,419
Steve Senior, Rollerwheels,
Pigpen, Zahara, Maddox,

231
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,755
Lady Cornpop, Gimble,
Barkman, Barkwoman...

232
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:46,091
[inhales] Petey Ears,
Candice, GrassBear,

233
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:48,510
Michael, Backpack Kid,
Jerry, Capricorn,

234
00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:50,762
Steve Senior's Force Ghost,
and Carl.

235
00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:53,723
He fired GrassBear
after thirty minutes.
Jesus.

236
00:07:53,765 --> 00:07:55,433
Wait, was he the one
with the laser eyes?

237
00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:56,935
No that was Zahara.

238
00:07:57,018 --> 00:07:58,937
Grassbear was the bear
who could turn into grass.

239
00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:00,605
Well I guess his name
wasn't CreativeBear.

240
00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:01,982
[ Laughter ]

241
00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:03,274
Hey, I'm pulling
a one-eighty on her.

242
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:04,526
Huge fan.

243
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:05,777
Hey, should we
get the journal?

244
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,112
What?
Matteo, you're drunk.

245
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:09,948
And high.
And overdosing aspartame.

246
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,032
What's your point?

247
00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:12,784
She's still drinking
the Curtis kool-aid.

248
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:14,953
If piggy reads it,
she'll squeal.

249
00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:17,080
Guys, I'm not gonna
tell Curtis shit.

250
00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:19,290
It's not like
he talks to me anyway.

251
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:20,457
Get it.

252
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,127
"Commander in Brief"?

253
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:24,212
When you work at 1600
as long as we do,

254
00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:26,464
you see all the fleeting
Presidential dirt.

255
00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:29,759
"Reagan keeps a troll in his
closet to practice kissing on."

256
00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:30,844
Is that true?
Yeah.

257
00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:32,511
That's how AIDS got started.

258
00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:36,015
Wow, you guys kinda buried
the lead on that one.

259
00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:38,434
"Eisenhower's freeway system
was a coke idea."

260
00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:40,687
Oh yeah,
he was a total snow bunny.

261
00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:42,772
Damn. No wonder
you guys are so detached.

262
00:08:42,813 --> 00:08:45,275
Keep reading.
One of them was a time traveler.

263
00:08:45,316 --> 00:08:46,901
I'm not gonna tell you who.

264
00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:47,986
Or when.

265
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,654
We need a plan
to oust him, Susan.

266
00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:50,822
Curtis won't just step down.

267
00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:52,657
He barely got the popular vote.

268
00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:54,659
By election time,
people will be burned out

269
00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:57,620
on his Batman shtick
and craving someone stable.

270
00:08:57,662 --> 00:08:59,247
We could always
tap Dwayne the VP.

271
00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:01,166
He's white, that's an automatic
ten percent of the vote.

272
00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:02,751
Oh, don't stop talking
on my account.

273
00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:04,294
[ Party leaders gasp ]
Andre?.

274
00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:05,545
Have you lost your mind?

275
00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:07,047
Yeah, Susan, I think I have,

276
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:09,466
especially since
I'm still naked in a swamp.

277
00:09:09,507 --> 00:09:11,676
[ Laughs ]
Hit me, David.

278
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,595
I got at least three more
whizzes in the tank.

279
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:14,596
D-Dad?

280
00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:16,014
I ain't your daddy, kid.

281
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,807
And don't try any
of that Billy Jean shit,

282
00:09:17,849 --> 00:09:19,601
I keep it wrapped and strapped.

283
00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:22,854
I-I'm the kid you dreamed about
having with Beverly, remember?

284
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:25,482
I don't exist because deep down
you know that parenting

285
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:27,358
is another job
you would fuck up.

286
00:09:27,442 --> 00:09:28,693
Language.
Shut up.

287
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:30,195
You're not my real dad.
[ Grunts ]

288
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,155
Man, that shin kick
would've hurt more

289
00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:33,573
if you could touch me.

290
00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:34,824
Peace out, ghost baby.

291
00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:36,576
I know you, Curtis.

292
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:39,537
Behind all that
arrogance is fear.

293
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,164
Yield to me.

294
00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:43,374
David, we don't have to do
this whole song and dance.

295
00:09:43,415 --> 00:09:44,584
You can quit too,

296
00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:46,044
and we can just call
it a night.

297
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,629
Oh, Jesus.

298
00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:49,047
Shit, shit, shit.

299
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:51,007
This is bad.
This is really bad...

300
00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:53,051
...is what I'd be saying
if I wasn't destroying you

301
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:53,927
like a bitch!

302
00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,512
[ Poofs ]
[ Laughs ]

303
00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:56,888
Man, I've got all

304
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,515
the UNO Reverse Cards
in this game.

305
00:09:58,556 --> 00:09:59,641
Keep it coming, David.

306
00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:01,309
I got all night.

307
00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:02,977
[ David cries out ]

308
00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:05,355
Banks: "Curtis cries while
watching RoboCop every morning."

309
00:10:05,396 --> 00:10:07,607
Mm-hmm.
"He pees sitting down"?

310
00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:09,067
This is what you got
on Curtis?

311
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,735
Guess it's hard
to find burns for a guy

312
00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:12,487
who's basically
a man-shaped explosion.

313
00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:13,822
[ Laughter ]

314
00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:15,323
I mean, his own Party
doesn't want him

315
00:10:15,406 --> 00:10:16,908
for a second term
and he basically told them

316
00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:18,785
to fuck off
and came here instead.

317
00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:21,538
[ Laughter ]
"Told them to fuck off
and came here instead".

318
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:23,915
Oh, also put in the
"man-shaped explosion" thing.

319
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,625
I was riffing
but it was a crowd pleaser.

320
00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:27,043
[ Laughter ]
Marking it.

321
00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:29,254
Temp Banks,
you finally see the light.

322
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:30,755
I think you're ready
for the shirt.

323
00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:33,967
Lifers: Ooh.
Rit-u-al. Rit-u-al.

324
00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:36,010
Consider this
an open invitation.

325
00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:37,804
You don't need to quit
or do anything

326
00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:39,430
narratively unbelievable,

327
00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:41,307
but when Curtis does
eventually fire your ass...

328
00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:43,434
...we'll be there
with the Lifer raft.

329
00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:44,686
Aww, you guys.

330
00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:47,438
You just gotta do
one thing first.

331
00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:49,607
[ Exclaims excitedly ]
Cherri: Wahoo.

332
00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:51,192
Michael: Yes.
[ Cherri laughs ]

333
00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:52,902
[ Lifers cheering ]
Hoist. Hoist. Hoist. Hoist.

334
00:10:52,944 --> 00:10:54,028
[ Laughter ]
Banks: Woo-hoo.

335
00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:55,238
Janice:
Let's go, pussies.

336
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:56,573
Oh, my god, this is crazy.

337
00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:58,491
My first undie flagpole hoist.

338
00:10:58,575 --> 00:10:59,868
Cathartic, right?

339
00:10:59,951 --> 00:11:01,369
There's something
about doing tropes

340
00:11:01,452 --> 00:11:03,288
that just...hits different.

341
00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:04,747
[ Lifers cheering ]

342
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:07,125
Temp Lifer Banks,
welcome to the fam.

343
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,626
[ Lifers laughing ]
O'Doyle: Banks.

344
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:09,794
Are you crazy?

345
00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:11,796
His Batman underwear?

346
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,631
How could you
betray him like that?

347
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:16,384
You know he likes to wear those
when he's watching cartoons.

348
00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:18,303
[ Lifers laughing ]
We gotta add that
to the journal.

349
00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:20,054
Stop laughing
as a united team.

350
00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:23,141
You plan the Easter Egg hunt
for a living.

351
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,435
[ Men shouting,
gunfire ]

352
00:11:26,477 --> 00:11:27,937
[ Helicopter whirs ]

353
00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:30,690
[ Explosion ]
Soldier:
You were wrong, Sergeant.

354
00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:33,443
You gave the wrong orders!
[ Groans ]

355
00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:34,777
Not gonna roll him over,

356
00:11:34,819 --> 00:11:36,654
I know it's just
gonna be my own face.

357
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,823
[ Smoke whooshes ]

358
00:11:39,282 --> 00:11:40,450
[ Grunts ]

359
00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:42,785
[ Grunts ]

360
00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:43,786
What the hell?

361
00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:44,829
Burritorama?

362
00:11:44,913 --> 00:11:46,164
You went from Afghanistan

363
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,915
to when I worked
at the burrito shop?

364
00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:50,001
How are there still beans
on the plate, Curtis?

365
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:51,169
No way.

366
00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:52,962
Chet Simmons?
[ Chuckles ] My old manager?

367
00:11:53,004 --> 00:11:55,006
See, this is what happens
when you blow your wad

368
00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:56,257
and use my mother first.

369
00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:57,467
Answer the question.

370
00:11:57,508 --> 00:11:59,844
How can you fail
at washing a dish?

371
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,471
Because your sponges suck ass.

372
00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:04,015
It's not the sponges.
Marco's dishes come out great.

373
00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:05,767
I'm fucking thrilled
when he clocks in.

374
00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:07,518
When he clocks in at the swamp?

375
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,855
And for the record,
I wasn't a bad dishwasher.

376
00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:12,273
Marco was 48 years old,

377
00:12:12,357 --> 00:12:14,359
buying beer for
underage kids after work.

378
00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:15,860
He had his own problems.

379
00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:17,528
The fact that he was
a better dishwasher than me

380
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,864
is an admission of his own
weakness, not mine.

381
00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:22,242
Jesus Christ, if only
you could do your job

382
00:12:22,325 --> 00:12:24,077
as well as you ran
your fucking mouth!

383
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,036
My job?

384
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:26,371
You're using that college degree

385
00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:27,956
to micromanage my ass
in a strip mall.

386
00:12:28,039 --> 00:12:29,624
I could have run
your whole kitchen better.

387
00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:30,667
You could have run my...

388
00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:32,126
You're a fraud, Curtis!

389
00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:34,295
A guy who tries
and fails at everything.

390
00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:37,382
Now wash the goddamn dish
before I fire your ass!

391
00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:39,550
[ Simmons grunts ]
In your dreams, Simmons.

392
00:12:39,634 --> 00:12:41,052
You don't get
to fire me this time

393
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:42,553
because I fucking quit.

394
00:12:42,637 --> 00:12:44,889
You can shove that dish
up your worthless ass.

395
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,099
[ Ghostly breath ]

396
00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:48,226
Wait, wait, wait, S-Simmons?

397
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,185
Oh, no no no.

398
00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:50,895
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

399
00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:53,439
David: Curtissss...
[ Hand thuds ]

400
00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:54,857
Oh god, David?

401
00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:56,317
You quit, Curtis.

402
00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:57,485
You surrendered.

403
00:12:57,568 --> 00:13:00,154
Finally, my chains
have been lifted!

404
00:13:00,238 --> 00:13:02,657
[ Laughs ]
I'm free!

405
00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:06,411
Free to finally eat something
other than fucking swamp water.

406
00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:07,412
[ Laughs ]
No!

407
00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:08,663
I wasn't actually quitting!

408
00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:10,915
Let's go back to my tiny balls!

409
00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:14,419
[ Kyle moaning ]
[ Giggles ] Kyle.

410
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:16,087
We're supposed to be...
[moans]

411
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:17,588
...watching the gates
to make sure no one goes in.

412
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,090
[ Water trickling ]
Mm, forget the gates, Lisa.

413
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:20,550
I'd rather watch you --
[ Grunts ]

414
00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:23,094
[ Choking ]
[ Moans ]
Oh, my god, stop it.

415
00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:25,513
You know I can only kiss
with my eyes closed.

416
00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:27,056
Babe?
[ Screams ]

417
00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:28,266
[ Snaps ]
No!

418
00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:29,183
Not Kyle and Lisa!

419
00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:30,643
They were just getting serious.

420
00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:31,853
[ Squelches ]
Ah! Ugh!

421
00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:33,521
[ Grunting ]

422
00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:35,273
No!
Ah!

423
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:36,941
[ Squelches ]
[ Groans ]

424
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:39,110
[ Body clatters ]
[ Curtis sighs ]

425
00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:41,487
You should've stayed boobs.

426
00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:43,906
Cherri: Back off, O'Dong.

427
00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:45,491
The chonies stay on the pole.

428
00:13:45,575 --> 00:13:47,952
Let me guess,
Trent just batted his eyes

429
00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:49,120
and you did his bidding.

430
00:13:49,203 --> 00:13:50,330
I still don't know
who that is.

431
00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:51,873
It's just underwear,
who cares?

432
00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:53,333
You should.

433
00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:54,667
You're supposed to be
on Curtis' team.

434
00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:56,252
Well, tell that to Curtis.

435
00:13:56,294 --> 00:13:58,129
Guys!
Wow, perfect timing.

436
00:13:58,171 --> 00:13:59,964
Oh, thank god,
you're all alive.

437
00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:01,299
Sir, are you alright?

438
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,009
It's David,
she used her mist powers

439
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:04,302
to mess with my mind

440
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:05,803
and trick me
into quitting my job.

441
00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:07,180
She got Kyle and Lisa.

442
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:08,681
Aw, they were
just getting serious.

443
00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:10,600
Goddammit.
Wait, mist powers?

444
00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:12,935
You didn't tell me
the witch had mist powers.

445
00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:14,187
Bro, she's dead.
Doesn't matter.

446
00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:15,730
[ Underwear flapping ]
Wait.

447
00:14:15,813 --> 00:14:16,814
Is that my underwear?

448
00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:18,816
How embarrassing.

449
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,526
Skidmarks, too.

450
00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:21,861
David?
But I killed you.

451
00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:23,654
Goddammit, sir,
she's a water witch.

452
00:14:23,738 --> 00:14:24,989
She can regenerate!

453
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:26,449
Ahhh!
She's not real.

454
00:14:26,491 --> 00:14:28,326
It's just the asparta--
[screams]

455
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,328
Matteo, no!
[ Gunshots ]

456
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:31,496
[ Laughing ]

457
00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:32,830
Your tiny projectiles

458
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:34,665
pass through me like water,

459
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,250
which is kinda my whole thing!

460
00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:38,044
Ugh!
You should have told me, sir.

461
00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:39,629
I brought hemlock bullets,
mirrored bullets,

462
00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:41,964
nightshade bullets.
I brought all the wrong things.

463
00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:43,674
Ah!
[ Gunshots ]

464
00:14:43,758 --> 00:14:44,842
[ Shouts ]

465
00:14:44,926 --> 00:14:46,344
Ah!
[ Grunts ]

466
00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:47,512
[ Hisses ]

467
00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:50,181
Been a long time
since I've eaten a king.

468
00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:51,974
[ Axe shings ]
Ah!

469
00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:54,310
You want him,
you gotta go through Janice.

470
00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:56,104
[ Shrieks ]
And Cherri.

471
00:14:56,187 --> 00:14:57,980
And Michael
in accounting!

472
00:14:58,022 --> 00:15:00,358
Wow, you guys
are fighting a monster

473
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,193
instead of letting
your boss die.

474
00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:04,278
How profound.
[ Axe thuds ]

475
00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:05,696
Pictured her face
as an ass crack.

476
00:15:05,780 --> 00:15:07,281
The student becomes the master.

477
00:15:07,365 --> 00:15:08,866
Curtis: Get to the cabin!

478
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,618
Come on.
Move, move, move.

479
00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:12,245
Oh, hey! It's everyone.

480
00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:13,538
Hey, should I go get my guitar?

481
00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:14,789
All: No!
Read the room.

482
00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:16,124
Barricade the doors
and windows.

483
00:15:16,207 --> 00:15:17,625
Use whatever you can find.

484
00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:19,544
Here, use this.

485
00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:21,045
What's a loose drawer
gonna do?

486
00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:23,005
Oh, so now we're
barricade shaming?

487
00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:24,757
[ Door creaks, body thuds ]

488
00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:27,593
[ Gasps ]
Oh, my god, no no no!

489
00:15:27,677 --> 00:15:29,011
[ Gasps ] Who is that?

490
00:15:29,053 --> 00:15:30,972
"Who is that?"
It's Trent!

491
00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:32,682
All: It's Trent!
Cherri: You dipshit.

492
00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:34,142
Curtis: Obviously Trent.

493
00:15:34,225 --> 00:15:36,060
So this is the other
hottest guy in the office?

494
00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:37,895
Stop treating him
like a piece of meat!

495
00:15:37,979 --> 00:15:39,355
Sorry. Sorry.
[ Sighs ]

496
00:15:39,397 --> 00:15:40,565
Is it, uh...

497
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:42,525
is it wrong to steal
a dead man's underwear?

498
00:15:42,567 --> 00:15:44,318
I've been naked
for a very long time.

499
00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:46,195
Trent would want you
to have them, sir.

500
00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:49,574
Plus, he famously has those
incredible tearaway pants.

501
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:51,075
[ Sighs ]

502
00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:52,660
[ Pants snap ]

503
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:55,538
Perfect fit.
[ Underwear snap ]

504
00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:56,581
Bless you, Trent.

505
00:15:56,664 --> 00:15:57,915
Okay, how do we chain her

506
00:15:57,999 --> 00:15:59,333
murdering ass
back to that swamp?

507
00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:00,877
Fuck that.
The van is out back.

508
00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:02,086
Let's bail, pussies.

509
00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:03,463
That's what she wants.

510
00:16:03,546 --> 00:16:04,964
Water Witches feed
on fear and shame.

511
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:06,424
To trap her,

512
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:07,758
we'll need a massive
amount of vulnerability.

513
00:16:07,842 --> 00:16:09,051
And copper.

514
00:16:09,093 --> 00:16:10,052
Everyone,
grab what you can find.

515
00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:11,220
Ooh, it's a copper caper.

516
00:16:11,262 --> 00:16:12,430
Oh, this again?

517
00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:13,723
Ay, ya ya ya...

518
00:16:13,764 --> 00:16:15,558
Here, this should help
with the vulnerability.

519
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:18,478
Oh, is this like a burn book?
Doubt it will do much.

520
00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:20,897
"Curtis cries while watching
RoboCop every morning",

521
00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:22,064
no shame there.

522
00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:23,316
"He pisses sitting down",

523
00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:24,942
everyone should,
no splashback.

524
00:16:25,026 --> 00:16:26,777
"He calls spaghetti,
'pasghetti'",

525
00:16:26,861 --> 00:16:28,446
obviously, it's cuter.

526
00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:30,281
"His own Party doesn't want
him for a second term --"

527
00:16:30,364 --> 00:16:31,824
Banks! What the hell?

528
00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:33,242
That happened this morning.

529
00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:34,952
Wait, my underwear?

530
00:16:35,036 --> 00:16:37,288
Yes, sir.
Jesus Christ, do you hate me?

531
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:39,123
No, I don't hate you.
The opposite.

532
00:16:39,207 --> 00:16:40,415
I thought you
were gonna fire me

533
00:16:40,458 --> 00:16:42,126
because you don't
tell me anything.

534
00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:44,128
[ Sighs ] That call with
the Party shook me, okay?

535
00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:45,546
I'm terrified of losing my job

536
00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:47,131
and I thought if
I told you I'm scared,

537
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:48,633
you'd lose faith in me.

538
00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:50,301
That's great guys,
but let's save the atoning

539
00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:51,636
for trapping the witch.

540
00:16:51,719 --> 00:16:52,929
Sign Cherri the fuck up.

541
00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:54,222
Janice and Michael:
Me too.

542
00:16:54,305 --> 00:16:55,515
Wait, really?
Why are you surprised?

543
00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:57,016
We already threw
the axes at her.

544
00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:58,226
As long as you're in
the White House,

545
00:16:58,309 --> 00:16:59,560
we got your back.

546
00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:01,229
So let's go eat
this bitch for dinner.

547
00:17:01,312 --> 00:17:02,563
You guys are crazy!

548
00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:03,981
I'm gonna get in
that car and dri--

549
00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:05,148
[ Glass shatters ]
[ Shouts ]

550
00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:06,651
[ Splatters ]
Sandra!

551
00:17:06,733 --> 00:17:07,818
To the swamp! Now!

552
00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:08,903
Michael:
But it says kitchen.

553
00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:10,238
There's an exit, Michael!

554
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:13,031
[ David screeching in distance ]

555
00:17:13,115 --> 00:17:15,034
[ Panting ] Ow, shit.

556
00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:17,828
I'll give anyone
$5,000 if they carry me.

557
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:19,914
[ Stomach rumbles ]

558
00:17:19,997 --> 00:17:21,665
[ Squelching ]

559
00:17:21,749 --> 00:17:23,334
O'Doyle: Here, sir,
this should ground her.

560
00:17:23,416 --> 00:17:25,252
It has swamp-activated
filaments.

561
00:17:26,002 --> 00:17:28,256
Your ab hole never ceases
to amaze me, O'Doyle.

562
00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:29,549
Thank you, sir.
Everyone.

563
00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:31,342
No matter what happens,
stay vulnerable.

564
00:17:31,425 --> 00:17:33,344
And remember that Latin
I taught you two seconds ago.

565
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:34,679
[ Hisses ]
[ Cherri gasps ]

566
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:36,472
So much weakness.

567
00:17:36,514 --> 00:17:37,473
[ Growls ]

568
00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:38,891
We're not afraid of you, David.

569
00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:40,726
As long as you know I'm here,

570
00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:43,354
you will always fear me!

571
00:17:43,437 --> 00:17:45,565
Wait, is that why you made
a deal with Roosevelt?

572
00:17:45,648 --> 00:17:47,149
Because you're afraid
of being forgotten?

573
00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:48,985
I fear nothing!

574
00:17:49,026 --> 00:17:50,861
[ Grunts, laughs ]

575
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:52,863
You are no king, Curtis.

576
00:17:52,947 --> 00:17:54,282
You're right about that.

577
00:17:54,365 --> 00:17:55,741
[ Shouts ] Now!

578
00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:57,535
What? No!

579
00:17:57,618 --> 00:17:59,370
[ Lifers chanting ]
Nostra fragilitate,
te alligamus.

580
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:02,206
[ Shouting ]
Nostra fragilitate,
te alligamus.

581
00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:04,208
Everyone, be vulnerable.
Now!

582
00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:06,836
I spiral out
because I'm insecure
about my self-worth!

583
00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:09,422
[ Shouts ]
I mask my insecurity
with arrogance.

584
00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:12,049
Also, Marco was a better
dishwasher than me.

585
00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:14,385
What?
I was jealous of Trent!

586
00:18:14,468 --> 00:18:16,220
I tried to shield you
from The Lifers

587
00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:17,888
to keep our world's apart.

588
00:18:17,972 --> 00:18:19,056
No! Stop!

589
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,558
Stop owning your shit.

590
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:23,936
I leave mean reviews on my
mother-in-law's Etsy shop.

591
00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:26,188
And I use the C word a lot.

592
00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:28,691
I once robbed a bank
in a Nixon mask.

593
00:18:28,733 --> 00:18:31,652
It was Nixon's idea,
but still, not cool.

594
00:18:31,736 --> 00:18:34,071
You didn't include me on
either side of the story.

595
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,448
That hurt my feelings.

596
00:18:35,531 --> 00:18:37,033
When I have to take
really bad shits,

597
00:18:37,074 --> 00:18:39,702
I use the women's bathroom
because it's cleaner!

598
00:18:39,744 --> 00:18:41,412
And I put out
the wet floor sign

599
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:42,955
so people don't come in!

600
00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:46,000
I abuse the public trust
in janitorial equipment

601
00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:48,419
so I can get out
my bad diarrhea!

602
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:50,921
Michael, we fired
so many janitors.

603
00:18:51,005 --> 00:18:52,381
I know!

604
00:18:52,423 --> 00:18:54,675
I'm the accountant,
I see all the paperwork.

605
00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:55,885
Aghh!
[ Thuds ]

606
00:18:55,926 --> 00:18:57,428
Ah! Nooo!

607
00:18:57,511 --> 00:18:58,929
Curtis: With the strength
of my administration,

608
00:18:59,013 --> 00:19:01,098
I bind you back to this land.

609
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,558
David: [ Straining ]
Th-that's fine.

610
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,435
It's actually
a bad look for you,

611
00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:06,479
putting down a powerful female!

612
00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:08,439
Uh huh,
so now you're davidsplaining

613
00:19:08,522 --> 00:19:10,191
that it's your idea
to get trapped?

614
00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:13,778
You'll be baaaack!

615
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:16,947
[ Ghostly sigh ]

616
00:19:18,616 --> 00:19:21,869
Michael, we need to talk
about your diarrhea.

617
00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:25,581
Alright,
everyone say "David".

618
00:19:25,623 --> 00:19:26,707
All: David!

619
00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:28,793
Great, got it.
Whose phone is this?

620
00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:30,127
Banks: Hey, Cherri.

621
00:19:30,211 --> 00:19:31,504
Thanks for letting me
spin out with you guys

622
00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:33,547
but, uh, not sure
I should be wearing this.

623
00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:35,800
Oh, keep it. You probably
don't have as much

624
00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:37,385
job security as you think.

625
00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:39,220
Alright, well... see you at
the Happy Hours after work?

626
00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:41,514
Ha, not if I see you first.

627
00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:44,809
Okay, I think I made a friend.

628
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:46,769
Listen,
cat's out of the bag, Susan.

629
00:19:46,811 --> 00:19:49,105
I know you guys might not
support me for re-election

630
00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:50,481
and I don't care.

631
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:51,524
Susan:
And how is this different?

632
00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:52,858
Because I did care before,

633
00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:54,110
I was just lying about it.

634
00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:55,319
Look, the people elected

635
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,612
a guy who can't wash a dish

636
00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:58,114
and that's what
they're gonna get.

637
00:19:58,155 --> 00:19:59,657
And until they vote me out,

638
00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:00,991
I have a job to do.

639
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:03,327
Banks?
Yeah, hi Susan,
chief dog here.

640
00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:04,995
We work for the people,
not The Party.

641
00:20:05,079 --> 00:20:06,288
So you can expect a lot more

642
00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:07,998
monster fighting
from this end...

643
00:20:08,082 --> 00:20:09,417
Oh. Okay.

644
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:11,335
So what is this,
we talk to you now?

645
00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:13,295
You talk to both of us.
Right.

646
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:15,423
Thanks for the update, Andre.

647
00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:16,757
Nice work, Banks.

648
00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:18,175
Did you hear her
shaking in her boots?

649
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:19,677
"So we talk to you now?

650
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:22,346
I'm a stern old lady
in a dark room." [ Laughs ]

651
00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:23,931
I'm still on the line.

652
00:20:23,973 --> 00:20:25,850
I dropped the phone
while trying to hang up.

653
00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:29,270
I'm guessing this is only gonna
make you guys hate me more?

654
00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:30,396
You guessed right.

655
00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:31,814
Makes sense.
Fair is fair.

656
00:20:32,857 --> 00:20:34,859
Are we all just
staying on the line now

657
00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:37,361
to catch if the other person
says something?

658
00:20:38,529 --> 00:20:39,530
Nerdsayswhat.
What?

659
00:20:39,613 --> 00:20:40,823
Oooh!
Ah! Got ya!

660
00:20:40,865 --> 00:20:42,074
Nerd! [ Laughs ]

661
00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:47,955
Curtis: ♪ Mother nature
acting natural ♪

662
00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:50,458
♪ Then she attacks ♪

663
00:20:50,541 --> 00:20:54,712
♪ Supernatural swampy lady ♪

664
00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:59,175
♪ All up in my deepest fears ♪

665
00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:01,343
♪ But I only ♪

666
00:21:01,385 --> 00:21:06,015
♪ Fear that I'll die aloneee ♪

667
00:21:06,557 --> 00:21:08,559
[ Bell tolls,
Organ music plays ]

668
00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:11,353
[ Clears throat ]
Uh... I, um...

669
00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:14,064
I don't know any of you,
but uh...

670
00:21:14,148 --> 00:21:15,399
I worked with your son.

671
00:21:15,483 --> 00:21:16,984
Trent and I...

672
00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:18,819
God, how do you describe us?

673
00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:21,238
Uh, we didn't really
know each other,

674
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:22,740
but we were obviously

675
00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:24,241
the two hottest guys
in the office.

676
00:21:24,325 --> 00:21:26,285
We were the face alphas.

677
00:21:26,368 --> 00:21:28,579
[ Sighs ] I squandered
my time with him

678
00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:31,540
over a petty competition
that was mostly in my head.

679
00:21:31,582 --> 00:21:33,834
But I came here to heal.

680
00:21:33,918 --> 00:21:37,838
Because Trent showed me
how to be hot inside too.

681
00:21:37,922 --> 00:21:38,923
Thank you.

682
00:21:39,423 --> 00:21:41,175
Thank you for the kind words.

683
00:21:41,258 --> 00:21:44,136
You know, I have no clue
what my son was talking about.

684
00:21:44,220 --> 00:21:47,848
You can't possibly be the most
annoying guy in the office.

685
00:21:47,932 --> 00:21:48,974
That son of a--

686
00:21:49,058 --> 00:21:50,559
Good girl, Boo Boo.

687
00:21:50,601 --> 00:21:51,936
Did you get any of that?