1 00:00:04,463 --> 00:00:07,341 [J.D.] Moving is rated one of the most stressful life experiences, 2 00:00:07,424 --> 00:00:08,800 right along with divorce. 3 00:00:08,884 --> 00:00:10,385 But I was crushing both. 4 00:00:10,469 --> 00:00:12,804 I found a new place closer to the hospital, 5 00:00:12,888 --> 00:00:15,432 and Elliot and I were finally getting along. 6 00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:18,268 …and I think you should proceed with the radio embolization. 7 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:20,646 Yeah, and I agree with Dr. Reid. She's the best. 8 00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:21,730 Oh, I am. [clicks tongue] 9 00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:25,567 We are crushing it at being divorced. 10 00:00:25,651 --> 00:00:28,278 I think we're in the honeymoon phase of our failed marriage. 11 00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:31,240 It's amazing that we can agree on a treatment plan for a guy's liver mass. 12 00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:33,659 When we were married, we could not order a pizza together. 13 00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:35,327 Yeah, and now you can scarf down 14 00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:38,539 as much disgusting ham and hot fruit pizza as you want. 15 00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:41,291 Just ordered Hawaiian on the weekend. [chuckles] What'd you do? 16 00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:44,253 Well, since I have Ollie next weekend, I finally put his bed together. 17 00:00:44,336 --> 00:00:45,963 I've actually become quite handy. 18 00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:49,216 [grunts] Damn it! 19 00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:51,551 I think it was a slight concussion. 20 00:00:51,635 --> 00:00:54,012 I blacked out for a bit, but when I finally came to, 21 00:00:54,096 --> 00:00:55,639 the whole thing had been put together. 22 00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:56,890 -[chuckles] -It's okay. 23 00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:58,767 -Not like I had anything better to do. -I get it. 24 00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:00,602 When Ollie's with you, I feel a bit lonely too. 25 00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:03,272 Throw in a bottle of Chardonnay, and I am just holding the dog and crying. 26 00:01:03,355 --> 00:01:04,356 You have a dog now? 27 00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:05,816 -It's the neighbors'. -Ah. 28 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:07,568 If you wanna do something fun instead of tragic, 29 00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:09,528 I'm going to a rave this Friday with my friends. 30 00:01:09,611 --> 00:01:12,114 Maybe I should try something like that. I'm in. 31 00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:13,574 Okay. We'll pick you up at midnight. 32 00:01:13,657 --> 00:01:15,742 Midnight at night? I'm out. 33 00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:20,080 Hey. Hey. Are you okay, Amara? 34 00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:22,666 Because I got a text that said, "Run over here right damn now." 35 00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:25,085 I told Dashana this wasn't an emergency and we shouldn't say that, 36 00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:26,670 so she took my phone and texted you with it. 37 00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:28,755 -Snitches get stitches. -They do? 38 00:01:28,839 --> 00:01:31,008 These medical interns keep dumping patients on us 39 00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:33,051 like the surgical department is their day care. 40 00:01:33,135 --> 00:01:34,970 Do we look like The Baby-Sitters Club to you? 41 00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:37,097 Kinda, yeah. Look, guys, 42 00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:39,224 surgical and medical have always had beef, 43 00:01:39,308 --> 00:01:40,976 so figure that out on your own. 44 00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:42,436 -Okay. Yeah, but I… -But… 45 00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:44,021 No. No. We're not gonna do that. 46 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:45,605 I have patients texting me, 47 00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:49,609 and I have three daughters texting me about money and rides to soccer, 48 00:01:49,693 --> 00:01:51,528 -and more money. -[phone dings] 49 00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:53,697 Four daughters texting me. 50 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,699 And I got a wife who's picked up extra shifts 51 00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,284 and says I need to help out more at home. 52 00:01:57,367 --> 00:01:59,369 What I don't need right now is two more females 53 00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:02,622 tricking me into running my ass off and getting more steps than I need. 54 00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:04,875 Got me all sweaty-domed. 55 00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:06,835 I told you we shouldn't say that. 56 00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:11,214 Hey, Bubba. You know how I love and respect all women, right? 57 00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:12,507 Are there any women up in here? 58 00:02:12,591 --> 00:02:13,759 There's a pretty gal upstairs, 59 00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:15,552 but I haven't had the courage to say hello yet. 60 00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:18,722 Well, don't. I'm so sick of the women in my life, J.D. 61 00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:21,350 How come each and every one of them is trying to get me to do something? 62 00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:23,018 Don't look at me. I was team vasectomy. 63 00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:25,937 The worst part about it is, because Carla's working so much, 64 00:02:26,021 --> 00:02:28,190 I can't even ask for a little somethin' somethin' in return, 65 00:02:28,273 --> 00:02:29,941 -if you know what I mean. -Sex? 66 00:02:30,025 --> 00:02:32,986 Yeah, J.D. Sex. Well done. 67 00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:35,197 She used to get worked up by Bridgerton, 68 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,199 but the new season doesn't come out for another year. 69 00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:38,700 Spring 2027. 70 00:02:38,784 --> 00:02:39,868 I'm just so worn out. 71 00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:41,203 Man, I've missed this. 72 00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:43,664 You and me just getting real about life. 73 00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:46,792 [gasps] Let's turn this place into our feelings dojo. 74 00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:49,086 -Pfft. -I'm gonna order a love seat, candles, 75 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,630 and two cozy weighted blankets on Amazon. 76 00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:52,839 There's so many choices. 77 00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:55,967 Are we thinking faux fur or sherpa fleece? 78 00:02:56,051 --> 00:02:59,054 Bro, I'm thinking I live with a bunch of women. Let's get a poker table. 79 00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:02,849 Turk, you beautiful, bald bastard. That's it. 80 00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:05,435 We'll do a poker night, like in the old days. 81 00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:06,645 That's what I'm saying! 82 00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:08,730 This is the start of a whole new chapter for me. 83 00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:10,107 No more sad sack. 84 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,525 Full-on fun sack. 85 00:03:12,401 --> 00:03:15,195 -That's what I'm talking about. -Right? 86 00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:17,823 We're gonna turn this place into a bro-jo. 87 00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:19,324 A bro-jo. 88 00:03:19,408 --> 00:03:20,534 [♪ "Scenario" playing] 89 00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:21,952 -[J.D.] Whoo-hoo! -[laughs] 90 00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,078 I'm never going home. 91 00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:24,621 -It gets even better. -It does? 92 00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:26,039 -I got a roommate. -What? 93 00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:29,084 -[roars] -Chewie? 94 00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:30,544 -[roars] -Chewie, no. 95 00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:32,629 -You're gonna popcorn us. -[roars] 96 00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:36,383 -[neighbor screams] -Oh. [coughs] 97 00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:38,885 Hi. I'm your new neighbor, J.D. 98 00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:41,304 I was just telling Turk about you. 99 00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:42,931 What you watching? 100 00:03:43,014 --> 00:03:46,643 ♪ I can't do this all on my own ♪ 101 00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:50,147 ♪ No, I know I'm no Superman ♪ 102 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,943 ♪ I'm no Superman ♪ 103 00:03:56,153 --> 00:03:59,406 [J.D.] I gotta say, Sacred Heart seems like a completely different place. 104 00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:02,701 For example, some employees aren't even human. 105 00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:04,202 Morning, little supply bot. 106 00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:06,580 The janitor likes me. 107 00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:07,706 Morning, Chief. 108 00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:09,458 Morning. You're in for poker tonight, right? 109 00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:10,584 Oh, you bet. 110 00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,335 I'm skipping my daughter's play to be there. 111 00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:13,920 -Oh, don't do that. -Oh, it's fine. 112 00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:16,548 She's 25, and it's Waiting for Godot. 113 00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:19,301 Ugh. More like "waiting to go home," am I right? 114 00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:20,886 [laughing] You get me. 115 00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:22,053 We get each other. 116 00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:23,847 -[laughing] -[laughing] Ah. 117 00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:25,640 I should probably learn his name. 118 00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:28,435 As for the interns, instead of getting pushed into burnout, 119 00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:30,228 they're now pushed into mental health. 120 00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:32,272 "Hey, Sibby, why a wellness room?" 121 00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:34,149 "Oh! I'm so happy you asked." 122 00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:35,442 Nobody asked. 123 00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:37,944 Research shows, drumroll, 124 00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:41,490 that activities such as meditation and block-building 125 00:04:41,573 --> 00:04:42,949 help reduce stress… 126 00:04:43,033 --> 00:04:44,659 She wants us to play with blocks? 127 00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:45,744 Apparently. 128 00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:50,916 The room is now open for organized relaxation. 129 00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:52,501 -[chuckles] -Can we go now? 130 00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:53,960 Yeah, get the hell out. 131 00:04:55,253 --> 00:04:56,713 [J.D.] But some things never change. 132 00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,840 -Turk and I were hanging like old times. -Hey, buddy. 133 00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:00,008 -Two chiefs. -Two chiefs. 134 00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:02,302 [chuckles] We're all set, bro. 135 00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:04,387 Once I feed the kids, I'ma take them to practice 136 00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:06,181 and then I'ma drop them off at sleepovers. 137 00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:08,225 Carla has a shift at urgent care, 138 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,685 but that gives me a four-hour window for our poker party. 139 00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:12,854 -Come on! [giggles] -[chair rolls, thunks] 140 00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:15,607 Did someone say poker? I'm in. 141 00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:17,818 Oh, sorry, Hooch, I actually don't have a seat for you. 142 00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:20,028 -Oh, I wasn't asking. -[J.D.] Oh. 143 00:05:20,111 --> 00:05:21,530 I'll bring the bean dip. 144 00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:25,283 Hooch is legitimately crazy. 145 00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:26,868 Out of his damn mind. 146 00:05:26,952 --> 00:05:28,245 -Hey! -Ooh. 147 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,038 Did you really just dump another patient on us? 148 00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:32,207 Okay, first of all, he spiked a fever. Okay? 149 00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:34,042 That means you med-heads have to admit him. 150 00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:36,503 Just because you talk with your hands doesn't make it okay. 151 00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:38,046 -First of all, bring your hands down. -Okay. 152 00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:41,883 [J.D.] And the age-old battle between surgical and medical rages on. 153 00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:44,135 -Check out our kids. -[Turk] Having their first fight. 154 00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:46,429 -Should we fire up our parental voices? -Yep. 155 00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:47,973 Okay, kids, settle down. That's enough. 156 00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:49,933 Don't make us turn this whole hospital around. 157 00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,184 He'll do it. Get over here. 158 00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:52,811 [J.D] Get over here, right now. 159 00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:54,437 Dashana, I saw that. 160 00:05:54,938 --> 00:05:56,815 These photos are sick. 161 00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:59,943 Did you wear your scrubs the entire time you were in Ibiza? 162 00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:03,738 I partied at night, but during the day I did help little kids with dysentery. 163 00:06:03,822 --> 00:06:05,407 Ibiza has everything. 164 00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:07,158 [chuckling] Take me back. 165 00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:09,286 Okay, wait. Let's follow each other. 166 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:13,456 Okay, Dr. Selfie, not exactly what I meant by "take it away." 167 00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:16,877 Oh. Okay. Well, sorry, this is Mr. Nichols. He's 27. 168 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,796 He's admitted with fainting, bleeding gums and bruising, 169 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,215 and he's asking us to accommodate his special diet. 170 00:06:22,299 --> 00:06:25,093 Oh. Of course. Are you vegan, vegetarian, gluten-free? 171 00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:26,678 -Tarzan. -What now? 172 00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:30,056 He's talking about the Tarzan diet. It's, like, all over TikTok. 173 00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:32,225 It's all organic, low carbs, maximum protein. 174 00:06:32,309 --> 00:06:34,102 He has a whole page devoted to it. 175 00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:37,022 Check out this video. He's crushing a 14-egg omelet. 176 00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:39,566 -Like, what? -Twelve, thirteen… Boom! Egg… 177 00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:40,984 That was actually insane, brah. 178 00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:44,446 Um, it's Dr. Brah, and that's probably why you passed out at the gym. 179 00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:46,031 You need more than protein. 180 00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:48,158 The Tarzan diet is how our ancestors ate. 181 00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,910 I'm surprised I have to explain that to a doctor. 182 00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:52,704 Our ancestors weren't Tarzan. 183 00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:54,623 Tarzan is a fictional character. 184 00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:57,417 I wouldn't be so sure. They did make a movie about his life. 185 00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:58,793 Hmm. [sighs] 186 00:06:58,877 --> 00:07:00,295 I love this room, Sibby. 187 00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:02,255 When I was an intern, all we had for stress relief 188 00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:03,590 was crying in the supply closet. 189 00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:06,551 Oh. Well, I learned all these techniques at a seminar. 190 00:07:06,635 --> 00:07:10,639 But I guess I got bedbugs at an airport motel for nothing 191 00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:13,391 because the interns don't want to come in here. 192 00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:16,686 They think I'm weird. [sighs] 193 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,104 You're not weird. 194 00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:20,899 Thanks. I'm gonna ring the affirmation gong now. 195 00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:25,320 [gong continues ringing] 196 00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:29,532 Um, do I have to stay here until that ends? 197 00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:30,617 Yeah. Don't talk. 198 00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:33,828 This feud between medical and surgical has been going on 199 00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:35,955 since we were interns, and long before that. 200 00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:38,750 But it all ends today. As your chief of surgery… 201 00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:40,752 …and your chief of medicine, we're gonna show you 202 00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:43,088 how to consult on a patient together. 203 00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:44,172 Today, med… 204 00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:47,258 -…and surg merge. -Merge. 205 00:07:47,342 --> 00:07:49,386 You guys don't charge me per doctor, do you? 206 00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,429 No, Mr. Johnson, this is a teaching hospital. 207 00:07:51,513 --> 00:07:53,264 [Mr. Johnson] Oh. Cool. 208 00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:55,934 I have a new kid at home. Could you please keep me alive? 209 00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:57,227 Yes, we will, Darrell. 210 00:07:57,310 --> 00:08:00,105 Mr. Johnson is presenting with lower right quadrant pain. 211 00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:01,189 Let's examine the patient. 212 00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:03,942 -Oh. [chuckles] -Oh, please. You go first. 213 00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:06,194 I think you're gonna teach me something maybe I don't know. 214 00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:09,114 No, I'd love to show you something, but I think you might be able to show me… 215 00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:11,074 [J.D.] I knew what they were trying to say. 216 00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:13,451 I would enjoy if the two of us removed our clothing 217 00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:14,911 and smooshed all over each other. 218 00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:17,122 I'm aware of that, and have similar feelings, 219 00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:19,666 which is why I sometimes laugh too hard at your mediocre jokes. 220 00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:20,750 May I have this dance? 221 00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:23,211 [laughing] 222 00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:25,463 Oh, my God. 223 00:08:25,547 --> 00:08:27,382 -D-train, put a minute on the clock. -[Dashana] Ew. 224 00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:29,759 Thank you. Let's show these newbies how it's done. 225 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,636 -[groans] -He has rebound tenderness. 226 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:32,929 I'm thinking appendicitis. 227 00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:35,598 And based on medical's more complete history and physical, 228 00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:37,517 we noted a productive cough and thick pneumonia. 229 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,519 Although my surgical expertise is being questioned, 230 00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:41,271 I welcome it because it's best for the patient. 231 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:42,522 Let's run some tests. Time. 232 00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:44,149 Fifteen seconds. Damn. 233 00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:45,400 That's how we do. 234 00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:48,445 Yeah, that was way more impressive than whatever this was. 235 00:08:49,821 --> 00:08:52,615 -[both] It's a med-surg merge. -Yeah. 236 00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:56,870 Oh, good. I was just gonna buzz you guys. 237 00:08:56,953 --> 00:08:59,372 Can you switch my IV so I can work my other arm? 238 00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:01,666 How about instead we work on getting you healthy, okay? 239 00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:05,128 -[kettlebell clangs] -[grunts] 240 00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:07,672 I'm just gonna leave that there. 241 00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:10,759 Mr. Nichols, your 21st-century TikTok diet 242 00:09:10,842 --> 00:09:13,595 has given you one of the oldest diseases known to man. 243 00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:14,846 You have scurvy. 244 00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:17,807 That's crazy because I'm incredibly healthy. 245 00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,434 You get it from malnutrition. 246 00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:22,479 Scurvy can lead to tooth loss, bleeding eyes and heart failure. 247 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:25,482 Or… or it could not, because it's also a super easy fix. 248 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,525 -Right, Dr. Reid? -Correct, Dr. Tosh. 249 00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:29,569 You need to add citrus fruits to your diet. 250 00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:32,947 Which could be super fun. And hello, farmers' market, right? 251 00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:34,574 You could be, like, the hottest guy there. 252 00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:38,787 Plus all the girls at the farmers' market are super liberated, you know what I mean? 253 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:42,624 I can't maintain 6% body fat eating fruit. 254 00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:44,459 You do you, Tarzan. 255 00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:46,002 Oh. One tip, though. 256 00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:48,254 Might be tough to tear into a steak with only four teeth. 257 00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:56,554 You don't strike me as the poker type. 258 00:09:56,638 --> 00:09:59,307 You seem like a Bananagrams guy. 259 00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:02,811 Blake, my boy, there's a whole lot you don't know about me. 260 00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:04,104 Watch these hands. 261 00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:06,731 I've done a whole lot of dancing on the green felt. 262 00:10:06,815 --> 00:10:10,151 My old poker nights with Dr. Turk were pretty crazy. 263 00:10:10,819 --> 00:10:13,321 Bam, that's what I'm talking about! [laughs] 264 00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:14,531 Hey, play my song. 265 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:15,949 [♪ "Macarena" playing] 266 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,412 [exclaims] 267 00:10:21,496 --> 00:10:23,248 [both] ♪ Hey, Macarena! ♪ 268 00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:25,750 Those were some of the best times of my life. 269 00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:30,130 Sibby! Hey, girl. You know how to throw them cards? 270 00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:32,423 Poker night, tonight, my house. You in? 271 00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:33,800 Poker? 272 00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:35,760 No. I don't gamble. 273 00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:39,013 What's the game? Five-card stud? Texas hold 'em? What's the buy-in? 274 00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:41,391 Are there buy-backs? Cash game or winner takes all? 275 00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:44,894 No, I don't gamble. 276 00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:51,025 I'm sorry, I need to go make a phone call to the… [mumbles] 277 00:10:52,861 --> 00:10:54,737 -She'll be there. -Yeah, she will. 278 00:10:57,615 --> 00:10:58,700 [sighs] 279 00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:00,785 I feel sorry for him. 280 00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:02,871 I feel sorry for us. 281 00:11:02,954 --> 00:11:05,748 You're a doctor. I've been a doctor for 20 years. 282 00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:08,126 He goes like this for 30 seconds on the toilet, 283 00:11:08,209 --> 00:11:09,752 and suddenly he knows more than us. 284 00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,462 I mean, we're just trying to help him. 285 00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:15,341 I know, but every patient in here uses their phone for medical advice. 286 00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:16,885 It's kind of the world now. 287 00:11:16,968 --> 00:11:18,178 And, Sam, 288 00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,597 I don't like you enabling patients like that. 289 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:24,100 So when we're rounding, I don't want to hear or see your social media. 290 00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,269 Phones are turning people into brain-dead idiots. 291 00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:27,854 I'm not a brain-dead idiot. 292 00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:29,856 No, of course you're not. 293 00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:32,609 But I'd like to take you seriously as a doctor, 294 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:35,361 and right now, I'm not sure you've given me a reason to. 295 00:11:36,487 --> 00:11:37,739 -Dr. Turk, you know… -Yo. 296 00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:39,574 …I'm not sure how things worked in the 1900s, 297 00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:41,701 but you can't make interns do personal stuff. 298 00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:43,870 To you, it looks like you're helping me pack snacks 299 00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:45,496 for my kid's softball game, 300 00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:49,959 but secretly, I am teaching you a profound surgical life lesson. 301 00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:52,712 Okay, you're just making this up as you go along, aren't you? 302 00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:54,881 Lesson one. Always think on your feet. 303 00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:56,591 Well done, Dashana. You want kids? 304 00:11:56,674 --> 00:11:59,469 I do, but like most women surgeons, I'm freezing my eggs. 305 00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:01,721 Okay, well, before you hit defrost on those bad boys, 306 00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:05,141 just know this is what your life is gonna look like. 307 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,060 Surgeons are much different than medical. 308 00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:08,895 We're always on call, okay? 309 00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:10,939 And every time you run out that door, 310 00:12:11,022 --> 00:12:12,649 someone's always disappointed. 311 00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:15,360 Damn. Well, so how do you make it all work? 312 00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:17,111 -[phone dings] -Hmm? Oh. 313 00:12:17,195 --> 00:12:18,863 -Uh, well, you don't. -[phone chimes] 314 00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:19,948 Uh, like right now, 315 00:12:20,031 --> 00:12:22,242 -my best friend wants me at poker night. -[phone chimes] 316 00:12:22,325 --> 00:12:24,786 But Carla's shift just got canceled and she wants me home. 317 00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:27,372 -[phone chimes] -[Carla] I bet you miss these, Papi. 318 00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:28,957 I mean, she really wants me home. 319 00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:31,459 Okay, yeah, I think this lesson is done. 320 00:12:31,542 --> 00:12:33,127 No, not so fast, young Padawan. 321 00:12:33,211 --> 00:12:36,589 There's one last thing no surgeon likes to do, but we do it anyway. 322 00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:38,800 Give bad news. 323 00:12:40,635 --> 00:12:42,387 Dr. Turk's wife sent him some freaky pictures. 324 00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:43,680 Now he's not gonna be at poker. 325 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:46,307 He said he will, quote, "Be hitting that." 326 00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:47,850 I'm sorry for your loss. 327 00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:55,108 Aces over eights! You know what that means, fools. 328 00:12:56,317 --> 00:12:59,153 -[♪ "Macarena" playing] -[singing nonsense words] 329 00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:03,116 Can we deal the next hand, please? 330 00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:04,742 [J.D.]♪ Hey, Macarena! ♪ 331 00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:07,996 Just serve the dip, bitch. 332 00:13:08,079 --> 00:13:09,080 Aw, man. 333 00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:11,833 Hey, I drank too much. Is it okay if I crash here? 334 00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:13,418 That's definitely gonna be a no. 335 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,464 [J.D.] When Turk had sex after a dry patch, 336 00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:20,550 he wouldn't tell anyone, but there would be signs. 337 00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:22,552 [♪ "Ain't That a Kick in the Head" playing] 338 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,554 [laughs] Good morning, Sacred Heart. 339 00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:26,347 Scratchers for everybody. 340 00:13:26,431 --> 00:13:28,266 If I get lucky, you get lucky. 341 00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:31,102 Scratcher for you, scratcher for you. 342 00:13:31,185 --> 00:13:33,354 Oh, Francois Dubois, scratcher for you. 343 00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:35,356 -Thank you, king. -Yas, queen. 344 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:36,899 Here you go, scratcher for you. 345 00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:37,984 Miss Sibby. 346 00:13:38,609 --> 00:13:40,403 I need a win. I need a win. 347 00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:41,904 Ugh. Thanks for nothing. 348 00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:43,406 Hey, Blake, lean back. 349 00:13:43,906 --> 00:13:45,283 I'ma make it rain. 350 00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:48,828 Scratcher, scratcher, scratcher, scratcher. Scratcher! 351 00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:50,955 Hey, how's it going? 352 00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:53,166 Something tells me you got lucky last night. 353 00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:57,045 You know a brother don't kiss and tell, but hell to the yeah! 354 00:13:57,754 --> 00:13:59,422 How'd it go last night? Sorry I had to bail. 355 00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:00,673 Just like the good old days. 356 00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:01,758 -Really? -No. 357 00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,551 I'm in the hole, man! 358 00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:05,720 -[grunts] -Please don't flip it. It's brand new. 359 00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:08,556 It's mahogany. You gotta lift with your legs, baby. I'll help. 360 00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:09,891 No, no, no. Hooch. No. 361 00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:11,059 [screams] 362 00:14:11,142 --> 00:14:13,644 -So Sibby tried to flip a table? Damn. -Mm-hmm. Yeah. 363 00:14:13,728 --> 00:14:16,064 Your next poker night's gonna be amazing 'cause I'm gonna be there. 364 00:14:16,147 --> 00:14:18,149 -We're cool, right? -[J.D.] Turk's your best friend. 365 00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:19,692 You can tell him how you really feel. 366 00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:21,778 I can't believe you had an intern tell me. 367 00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:24,155 This was supposed to be the start of a new chapter of my life, 368 00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:25,364 and you abandoned me. 369 00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:27,658 [shrieks, groans] 370 00:14:27,742 --> 00:14:28,743 That's what you get. 371 00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:29,827 Yeah, we're cool. 372 00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:34,749 Oh. I didn't know you were religious. 373 00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:37,043 Oh, no, I'm not. I found this in a patient's room. 374 00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:38,294 I'm using it to hide my phone. 375 00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:40,421 Dr. Reid is, like, all over me about it, 376 00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:43,174 but I have this feeling there's something else wrong with a patient, 377 00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:46,010 so I'm doing a deep dive on his socials. 378 00:14:46,094 --> 00:14:47,553 I think that's really great, Tosh. 379 00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:48,846 I've read that book. 380 00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:50,306 He dies and comes back in the end. 381 00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:51,641 Amara, we gotta go. 382 00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:53,851 [J.D.] I was pissed at Turk, 383 00:14:53,935 --> 00:14:56,354 but I still had to set a great example for our interns. 384 00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:58,272 We're still waiting for the chest CT, 385 00:14:58,356 --> 00:15:01,984 but the initial CRX confirms that Darrell here has pneumonia like I thought, 386 00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,987 and not appendicitis like Dr. Turk mistakenly thought. 387 00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:07,448 But that's okay, 'cause I always have his back 388 00:15:07,532 --> 00:15:08,950 even though he doesn't have mine. 389 00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:10,493 -Okay. -[chuckles] 390 00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:13,121 What Dr. Dorian is trying to say is we don't have to cut you, 391 00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:15,456 unlike his words, which I believe were meant to cut me. 392 00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:18,876 Oh, that's a first. A surgeon diagnosed something correctly. 393 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:20,461 Medical, roll out. 394 00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:22,171 [laughs] 395 00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:26,050 Pfft. Hey, let me borrow that real quick. 396 00:15:26,968 --> 00:15:28,427 I'll pray for you. 397 00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:29,762 Pfft! 398 00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:31,013 [Sam] Dr. Turk, my phone. 399 00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:33,015 Yeah, this change is really hard on both of us, 400 00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:35,434 but you just gotta figure out your new normal. 401 00:15:39,397 --> 00:15:41,065 -[scoffs] -What's that about? 402 00:15:41,149 --> 00:15:44,318 Nothing. Just Dr. Selfie being more interested in DMing patients 403 00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:45,528 than diagnosing them. 404 00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:48,656 "Dr. Selfie"? You're starting to sound a little like Dr. Cox. 405 00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:52,743 Dr. Cox was hard on me, but he taught us how to do things the right way. 406 00:15:52,827 --> 00:15:55,913 He also called you Barbie and undermined your confidence for years. 407 00:15:55,997 --> 00:15:57,748 Don't you remember how that made you feel? 408 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,751 She's really smart. 409 00:16:00,835 --> 00:16:03,880 I mean, keep an eye on her, but give her a chance to do it her way. 410 00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:11,971 Okay, let's do this. 411 00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:15,725 [J.D.] Now I need to handle my own drama with a little flourish. 412 00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:18,436 Do people actually know you learned that at magic camp? 413 00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:20,021 I didn't go to magic camp, Turk. 414 00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:23,191 I went to Criss Angel's Sleight of Hand Symposium for Wooing Women. 415 00:16:23,274 --> 00:16:24,525 Okay. 416 00:16:24,609 --> 00:16:27,278 Look, it sucks you blew off my poker night for sex. 417 00:16:27,862 --> 00:16:29,238 I needed to be with Carla. 418 00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:32,241 Things are hard for me, J.D. Work, marriage, kids. 419 00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:33,701 I got a lot of pressure. 420 00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:35,953 It takes a lot out of me to keep it all going. 421 00:16:36,037 --> 00:16:37,580 Dr. Reid. I know you said no phones, 422 00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,707 and you're probably gonna call me Dr. Selfie again-- 423 00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:42,001 No, I won't. Go ahead. Show me. 424 00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:44,921 This stuff on Logan's page is really concerning. 425 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,131 [Logan on phone] You see that? 426 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,258 I used to be that fat loser, 427 00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:52,053 and I would rather die than go back to being him. 428 00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:53,971 [shouts] 429 00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:57,600 So there's just post after post like this? 430 00:16:57,683 --> 00:17:00,728 Yeah. This isn't just about some fad diet. 431 00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:02,939 I think it could be some kind of eating disorder. 432 00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,023 [scoffs] 433 00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:05,524 You're right. 434 00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:07,109 He's so obsessed with healthy eating, 435 00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:08,945 it's become a compulsion and made him sick. 436 00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:12,198 It could be orthorexia, and I missed it. 437 00:17:13,074 --> 00:17:15,159 That was a really good catch, Dr. Tosh. 438 00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:19,038 Honestly, I'm just… I'm tired of hearing how overwhelmed you are 439 00:17:19,121 --> 00:17:22,041 by your big happy family and your wife that loves you 440 00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:24,627 when I spend half my time completely alone. 441 00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:26,671 I wish that I had your problems. 442 00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:29,048 You sure about that? 'Cause I never get to be alone. 443 00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:31,926 Last week, I got stuck in the stairwell. 444 00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:35,012 I didn't call for help. I just stood there, at peace. 445 00:17:35,096 --> 00:17:38,683 So yeah, maybe I'd love just a little of your problems. 446 00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:40,142 [♪ "Solid Ground" playing] 447 00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:42,687 Radiology called up. It's about your pneumonia patient. 448 00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:46,107 [J.D.] One of the things that didn't change about this place 449 00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:48,651 is that it has a way of bringing people back together. 450 00:17:49,944 --> 00:17:52,697 Orthorexia is a relatively new eating disorder. 451 00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:54,532 We're gonna help you get through this. 452 00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:58,828 [J.D.] Unfortunately, sometimes it's the hard moments that mend us. 453 00:18:00,371 --> 00:18:04,709 So the pain was mimicking appendicitis due to the shared neural pain pathways. 454 00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:07,003 But it turned out to be a post-obstructive pneumonia 455 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,338 caused by that spiculated mass. 456 00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:12,258 So Darrell has lung cancer. 457 00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:15,177 He just had a baby. 458 00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:16,596 It's so awful. 459 00:18:16,679 --> 00:18:19,015 So who's going to tell him? Surgical or medical? 460 00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,558 ♪ Solid ground ♪ 461 00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,395 [baby fusses] 462 00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:26,397 [J.D.] When things like this happen, 463 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:29,358 we suddenly see everything just a bit differently. 464 00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:31,569 [no audible dialogue] 465 00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:33,738 [sighs] 466 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:38,784 Tell Nora Uncle J.D. says, "I hope she hits a home run." 467 00:18:38,868 --> 00:18:40,911 All those things that felt overwhelming, 468 00:18:40,995 --> 00:18:42,622 with a little perspective, 469 00:18:42,705 --> 00:18:44,123 suddenly feel like a gift. 470 00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:45,249 You wanna come? 471 00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:47,001 I mean, there's a divorced mom 472 00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:49,629 who drinks Chardonnay out of a Stanley cup and wears no bra. 473 00:18:49,712 --> 00:18:51,339 I'm pretty sure you two will hit it off. 474 00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:54,091 Sounds like a great first mistake. Maybe another time. 475 00:18:54,175 --> 00:18:56,218 -You know what? Give her my number. -Already did. 476 00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:57,928 -I'll see you tomorrow? -Yeah, man. 477 00:19:04,185 --> 00:19:07,355 And too much time alone feels like an opportunity 478 00:19:07,438 --> 00:19:08,939 to be there for someone else. 479 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:11,776 -Oh. Hey, Dr. Dorian. -Hey. 480 00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:14,737 This week sucked. We're getting hammered. You in? 481 00:19:15,446 --> 00:19:17,907 Sure. I don't have anything else going on. 482 00:19:18,449 --> 00:19:19,492 Appletinis on me. 483 00:19:19,575 --> 00:19:21,661 Ooh. I will not be having that. 484 00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:24,121 But if you are catching the check, let's go. 485 00:19:24,205 --> 00:19:25,998 I've never tried an appletini before. 486 00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:27,667 I've never finished a whole drink before. 487 00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:29,460 Well, I hope you two like older women, 488 00:19:29,543 --> 00:19:32,129 'cause tonight you're hooking up with Granny Smith. 489 00:19:34,715 --> 00:19:36,926 Okay, now everybody take it slow. 490 00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,636 I ordered these easy on the 'tini, 491 00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:41,639 but the sugar in these things can still make you a little crazy. 492 00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:43,307 Thanks for buying, Dr. Dorian. 493 00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:45,267 I'm a little light till my next paycheck. 494 00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:47,978 Hey, uh, what do you guys got there? 495 00:19:48,062 --> 00:19:49,480 You doing eight-ball, nine-ball? 496 00:19:49,563 --> 00:19:50,815 Damn. 497 00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:51,899 Am I into Sibby? 498 00:19:51,982 --> 00:19:53,317 Okay, just one for me, 499 00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:54,819 then I got a date with my couch 500 00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:56,904 and a little movie star named Sandra Bullock. 501 00:19:56,987 --> 00:19:57,988 -Um, no… -No… 502 00:19:58,072 --> 00:20:00,533 [J.D.] I know they're just kids, but it's nice to find a little community. 503 00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:02,201 -Cheers. -[all] Cheers. 504 00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:05,871 Slow. Go slow. I told you to go slow. 505 00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:06,956 [laughing] 506 00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:11,711 [J.D.] The best part is they have no idea just how bad an appletini hangover is. 507 00:20:11,794 --> 00:20:12,962 Ugh. 508 00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:15,464 -Pinky out, little slow sips. -Mmm.