1 00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:13,847 I don't know who needs to hear this message today, 2 00:00:13,972 --> 00:00:15,431 but here you go. 3 00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:17,016 Sis... 4 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:20,729 quit waiting to live your life until you're skinny. 5 00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:21,980 Live your life today. 6 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:25,692 We don't have tomorrow promised. 7 00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:28,403 Life is short. Do it. 8 00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:33,115 Kass wanted other women 9 00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:34,868 to feel beautiful about themselves. 10 00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:38,539 I lost so much of my life 11 00:00:39,581 --> 00:00:42,125 to being so obsessed about being fat 12 00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:44,461 until I met Kass. 13 00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:48,924 One day, I opened my phone, and I just was, like, 14 00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,425 watching her Instagram story. 15 00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:53,929 I started seeing all these RIP posts. 16 00:00:54,930 --> 00:00:56,932 We're just gonna have a moment of silence for Kass. 17 00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:00,768 I called Stefan, 18 00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:03,730 and I said, "What the [bleep] happened to Kass?" 19 00:01:06,525 --> 00:01:08,527 And I found out that she died in my city. 20 00:01:16,785 --> 00:01:18,537 Kass is dead because 21 00:01:19,538 --> 00:01:21,331 of the harm that was put on her body 22 00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:24,251 through death feederism. 23 00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:30,464 Having this rapid weight gain, she had pretty bad sleep apnea. 24 00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:35,345 People told me she fell out of bed and stopped breathing. 25 00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:39,933 Kass found freedom in feederism. 26 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,686 It was financial freedom. 27 00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:47,482 It was freedom from the chains of fatphobia. 28 00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:48,734 That was false freedom. 29 00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:52,654 She was 29 years old. 30 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:54,781 She had so many things 31 00:01:54,906 --> 00:01:56,658 that she could have done, and... 32 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,871 This is very difficult. 33 00:02:01,872 --> 00:02:05,125 Stefan doesn't take accountability for what he does 34 00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:07,961 and how he affects other people. 35 00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:10,505 It definitely is a matter of time before it happens again. 36 00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:19,848 Before she passed, I feel like Pearadise had already 37 00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:20,974 killed a part of her. 38 00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:24,561 She lost a lot of herself in that house. 39 00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:08,105 Makes me really sad for her. 40 00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:11,358 Stefan was trying to replace her. 41 00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:13,776 She just gave up on herself. 42 00:03:13,777 --> 00:03:15,362 That's not the Kass I knew. 43 00:03:15,487 --> 00:03:18,031 She didn't deserve how he treated her. 44 00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:19,908 She felt powerless. 45 00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:22,702 I told him this was gonna happen. 46 00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:24,538 Had it not been for Stefan, 47 00:03:24,663 --> 00:03:26,873 had it not been for Pearadise, 48 00:03:26,998 --> 00:03:28,250 Kass would be alive today. 49 00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:34,255 Being accused of having something to do with her 50 00:03:34,256 --> 00:03:36,550 not being around anymore is 51 00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:38,093 the ultimate dagger in the heart. 52 00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,139 She had been a big part of my life. 53 00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:44,057 Wow! 54 00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:45,599 The whole Pearadise circle, 55 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:46,727 everybody loved her. 56 00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:55,318 We miss her. 57 00:03:59,865 --> 00:04:01,782 Oh, I'm not a feeder. 58 00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:02,784 Kass is a feeder. 59 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,413 If I was in charge of feeding anybody here, 60 00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:08,415 they would all stomp. 61 00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:14,254 I would absolutely say feederism can be dangerous. 62 00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:18,800 The two years that she was away from Pearadise, 63 00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:21,762 she put on 100 pounds, which was like a lot. 64 00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:25,347 While she was at the house, while she was with me, 65 00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:26,600 she was never into feederism. 66 00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:32,981 If somebody is 67 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:35,024 going out 68 00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:38,277 insinuating that I had anything to do with Kass's weight gain, 69 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:41,865 it is purely to make me look bad because of what happened. 70 00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:46,661 She was engaged in feederism at the house. 71 00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:49,873 Stefan knew what Kass was up to. 72 00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:57,213 500.4 pounds. 73 00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:59,465 When you are engaged in feederism, 74 00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:02,010 you're just trying to put on weight 75 00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:06,514 and put on this show of how much bigger can I get. 76 00:05:06,515 --> 00:05:09,642 - Time for another... - Crumble review. 77 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,186 You might not recognize it, 78 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:14,647 but that's what a lot of the Pearadise content is. 79 00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,023 Ready? Go. 80 00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:17,484 Blueberry cheesecake cookie. 81 00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:19,235 It's feederism content. 82 00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:20,319 Oh, my God! 83 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,447 He knows, like, what he's doing, 84 00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,659 but I don't think he sees 85 00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:29,496 the nuances behind what's happening. 86 00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:32,999 It is more than the feederism, too. 87 00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:38,170 All of that back and forth and Kass in the middle of it. 88 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:39,881 Don't. Don't get emotional now. 89 00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,090 No, no, no. 90 00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:42,133 She felt powerless. 91 00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:45,929 The world that Kass was living in killed Kass. 92 00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:48,348 Kass doesn't care about women. 93 00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:52,768 She cares about herself, her money, and her fame. 94 00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:56,522 And the one thing that I hate more than a man 95 00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:59,734 who wants to prey on big women is a big woman 96 00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:02,404 who is helping that man prey on women. 97 00:06:05,282 --> 00:06:06,408 No, I never met Kass. 98 00:06:08,618 --> 00:06:11,580 I never wanna force a woman to relive her trauma. 99 00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,706 In my opinion, Kass is-- 100 00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:16,458 And if there's any collateral damage, 101 00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:18,295 that does still fall on me. 102 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,474 There's several truths to the story. 103 00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:36,438 All I can do is be honest about what I saw, 104 00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:37,981 experienced, and felt. 105 00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:43,904 I started to see my own humanity more there. 106 00:06:49,701 --> 00:06:51,411 I didn't come home and immediately 107 00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:53,955 pour over every photo. 108 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,208 I did it in doses. 109 00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:00,920 It became very clear to me that I came across something 110 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:03,381 that was so much more than a personal project. 111 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:10,304 So I sent the story to an editor 112 00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:12,474 at one of the papers that I work for. 113 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:13,850 They weren't interested in running it. 114 00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:17,103 And for some reason, I just heard the first no 115 00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:19,606 at this and just stopped digging. 116 00:07:19,731 --> 00:07:22,275 I don't know, nothing ever felt right. 117 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:25,028 This project felt unfinished for me. 118 00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:28,949 Yeah. 119 00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:33,787 I never really closed the door on it. 120 00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:37,539 If I'm scrolling on TikTok, and they're live, 121 00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:38,959 I'll click in and I'll watch. 122 00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:40,335 To start the storytime of-- 123 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:43,338 It's still a lot of the same anger about betrayal, 124 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:46,007 that was over four years ago now. 125 00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:49,511 At the end of the day, they all used to be friends. 126 00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,262 And it's like, how did we get here? 127 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:53,765 Where does that switch flip? 128 00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:02,357 For a very long time, I believed the girls were 129 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,316 blowing it out of proportion 130 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,653 with sexual assault allegations. 131 00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:13,660 It's really easy to minimize someone else's experience 132 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:17,247 until you go through something yourself. 133 00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:28,757 One night, I was at Stefan's, and one of his friends, 134 00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:33,680 she had decided to reach out to a bunch of men on Tinder 135 00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:38,893 and tell them that there was a bunch of plus size women 136 00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,729 that were all looking to hook up. 137 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,563 Her response was basically, 138 00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:44,356 "Well, I'm gonna pick the one that I want, 139 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,651 and then you guys can figure out what to do with the rest." 140 00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:50,864 And all of them showed up at the house. 141 00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:53,741 One guy was in the pool, 142 00:08:53,742 --> 00:08:56,202 and he kept reaching over and, like, trying to grab at me. 143 00:08:58,038 --> 00:09:00,415 And I made it very clear that I wasn't OK with it. 144 00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:05,085 Later that night, I was in the hot tub, 145 00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:08,131 and one of the girls pulled me into her lap. 146 00:09:09,424 --> 00:09:11,425 I was just kind of in the moment. 147 00:09:11,426 --> 00:09:14,386 I wasn't paying full attention. 148 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:17,473 And it took me a minute for my brain to kind of process 149 00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:19,391 what was going on. 150 00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:22,978 And I realized that girl was gone, 151 00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:26,232 yet I was still being groped by someone. 152 00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:32,738 The same guy who had been trying to grope me before, 153 00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,782 he was touching me. 154 00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:35,992 I was being fingered. 155 00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:39,119 I didn't say anything. 156 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:41,414 I literally just got out of the hot tub. 157 00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:54,260 And the next morning, I got up and I told Stefan, 158 00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:58,681 and Stefan's response was, "Oh, wow, I'm sorry." 159 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,185 He didn't know the guys that were there. 160 00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:07,606 That would be like going to the strip and just grabbing 161 00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:10,360 four random guys and bringing them back to the house. 162 00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:15,656 So to this day, I don't know this person's name. 163 00:10:15,657 --> 00:10:17,951 I couldn't press charges if I wanted to. 164 00:10:20,203 --> 00:10:22,872 It changed my perspective, not just 165 00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:24,874 on... 166 00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:26,918 sexual assault. 167 00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:31,339 It was more than just what happened with Ally and Savy. 168 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:35,969 With Stefan, there is no remorse. 169 00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:40,265 There is no, "Oh, damn. This needs to change." 170 00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,393 And that was when I realized that 171 00:10:44,686 --> 00:10:45,687 I was done. 172 00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:50,733 That house is not safe. 173 00:11:00,702 --> 00:11:03,203 I wanted to go to the girls and say, "You know what? 174 00:11:03,204 --> 00:11:04,497 "I am so sorry 175 00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:07,083 that I played a part." 176 00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:10,795 I messaged Kimmi. 177 00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,257 And the first words out of my mouth were, 178 00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:16,718 "What do you wanna know? I'm an open book." 179 00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:26,603 Heather was the big dog. 180 00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:28,771 It's gonna be on with Heather check. 181 00:11:28,897 --> 00:11:32,150 This is the woman who was his right-hand man. 182 00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:34,611 When the women are fighting for him, 183 00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:36,278 they're not our enemy. 184 00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:40,992 Just remember, you tried to sweep things under the rug. 185 00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:44,286 The problem is, I remember where you keep all your dirt. 186 00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:45,330 One of the things Heather had 187 00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:47,165 brought to my attention was 188 00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:48,958 he was talking to minors. 189 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,630 In most instances, he would tell them 190 00:11:53,755 --> 00:11:56,257 they had to wait until they were 18 to join the Discord. 191 00:11:58,134 --> 00:12:00,678 But Stefan definitely encourages them 192 00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:05,307 to send pictures, to continue to communicate with him, 193 00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:08,185 to know that he's a safe space. 194 00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:12,148 And in reality, what he's waiting for is them to turn 18. 195 00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:14,525 He's gonna create enough of a connection 196 00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:16,235 that they will come. 197 00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:17,653 He will get to have sex with them 198 00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:21,783 and rinse and repeat for however long it lasts. 199 00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:25,744 You're a terrible person. 200 00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:26,829 And a horrible friend. 201 00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:44,138 When I left the house, he called me a traitor. 202 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:52,897 The solution to people leaving is to just delete them. 203 00:12:54,565 --> 00:12:58,361 If you were to look through this, I don't exist. 204 00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:01,823 I'm just some random person that's talking crap about... 205 00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:04,575 Pearadise. 206 00:13:04,701 --> 00:13:06,744 We were all put in the same position. 207 00:13:13,835 --> 00:13:16,504 His sweet spot is 22, I've learned. 208 00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:22,759 He was in his mid-40s at the time when I met him. 209 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:25,721 I was 21, 22. 210 00:13:25,722 --> 00:13:27,056 24-year age gap. 211 00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:30,058 When we're that age, 212 00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:31,728 we think we know what we're doing. 213 00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:36,607 His relationship with the boys 214 00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:39,068 depended on how well I treated him. 215 00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:42,904 It eventually got to the point where I decided 216 00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:44,949 there's nothing here for me. 217 00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:46,409 I just packed up my stuff 218 00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:48,661 and I didn't turn back. 219 00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:54,250 That's when a lot of people were coming to me with stories. 220 00:13:55,293 --> 00:13:58,671 And I found out what was going on behind my back. 221 00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:02,800 After I found out I was pregnant, 222 00:14:02,925 --> 00:14:05,136 apparently he wanted to... 223 00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:11,016 have women in the house go to the doctors 224 00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:12,602 and say that they were pregnant 225 00:14:13,644 --> 00:14:14,771 to get abortion pills. 226 00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:19,025 The plan was to... 227 00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:22,779 crush them up and put them in a drink. 228 00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:31,120 The story that I heard 229 00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:33,663 from someone within the house was, 230 00:14:33,664 --> 00:14:36,834 Stefan was likely trying to get somebody to slip her 231 00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:39,378 Plan B in her drink 232 00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:43,048 so that she would have a spontaneous miscarriage 233 00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:44,175 and lose the twins. 234 00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,969 I was absolutely astounded. 235 00:14:48,638 --> 00:14:50,806 She decided to go through with the pregnancy, 236 00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:51,808 so I made a joke. 237 00:14:51,933 --> 00:14:52,809 I said, like, "Oh, this bitch, 238 00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:54,476 "like, she did this and this and this. 239 00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:56,187 She should not keep those kids." 240 00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:57,813 You know? You can say things 241 00:14:57,814 --> 00:14:59,857 as a joke in private, 242 00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:04,069 and, of course, somebody decided to take a joke 243 00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:06,989 and say, like, "Oh, he was planning to do it." 244 00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:08,116 No, I never did. 245 00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:11,536 Why is all the attention on me right now? 246 00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:15,873 Currently, my relationship with the boys is non-existent, 247 00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:18,709 but that's because I need to protect my own mental health. 248 00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:23,713 I have to live with the fact that there's two kids 249 00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:25,800 that were conceived against my consent. 250 00:15:27,802 --> 00:15:29,679 There's nothing you can do as a man. 251 00:15:29,804 --> 00:15:30,805 I have to live with it. 252 00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:36,018 I'm telling my story now, because 253 00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:40,689 I have two little boys that depend on me. 254 00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:43,401 My biggest fear is that they'll hate me. 255 00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:45,694 One day they'll ask me, 256 00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:48,030 "Mom, why weren't you better to him? 257 00:15:48,156 --> 00:15:49,866 'Cause then we could've had a dad." 258 00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:56,621 I'll be honest with them, and I know so many other women 259 00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:59,917 who were there at the time will also be there to help 260 00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:02,420 share what kind of man he is. 261 00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,215 He's done everything that he can possibly 262 00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:07,884 do to villainize her. 263 00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:13,764 And in reality, he's chaos personified. 264 00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:19,812 I can't watch it anymore. 265 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,564 Now there's a whole new set of people. 266 00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:24,567 I have no idea who they are. 267 00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:28,237 All I know is there's always somebody that's young. 268 00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:33,783 One of the girls is like 22. 269 00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:35,453 It gives me the ick in the worst way. 270 00:16:43,377 --> 00:16:46,672 Who wouldn't love Rissa, right? Rissa is the sweetest. 271 00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:49,967 My name is Krissia Stroupe. 272 00:16:51,969 --> 00:16:54,847 I'm 22, and I'm from North Carolina. 273 00:16:56,057 --> 00:16:59,935 And I'm currently indefinitely visiting Pearadise. 274 00:16:59,936 --> 00:17:01,853 You're cooking. 275 00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:02,896 There we go. 276 00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:05,733 I'm making bacon to go on the sandwiches. 277 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,400 I'm from a small town in North Carolina. 278 00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:10,404 I'm used to a two-bedroom trailer with one bathroom. 279 00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:14,033 Stefan's house is gigantic. 280 00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:16,452 It was insane to me. 281 00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:22,374 I love to cook. I love to cook. 282 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:23,960 I like to make southern dishes. 283 00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:29,214 Finding Stefan and finding Pearadise has changed my life. 284 00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:31,175 Yeah, these are my snacks. You wanna watch me eat 'em? 285 00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,554 Nom, nom, nom-- 286 00:17:34,679 --> 00:17:37,390 I had just gotten out of my relationship with my ex. 287 00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:40,851 He was an extreme feeder. 288 00:17:41,936 --> 00:17:45,898 At one point, my ex had told me that I was 289 00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:47,567 the weakest bitch he had ever met. 290 00:17:48,693 --> 00:17:53,238 He had wanted me to eat a whole sheet cake, 291 00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:55,907 a whole, like, you know, sheet cake for a birthday. 292 00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:58,619 I would stuff myself, force-feed, run to the bathroom 293 00:17:58,744 --> 00:17:59,745 and throw up. 294 00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:06,293 I still have appetite issues to this day because of that. 295 00:18:06,294 --> 00:18:07,295 Yeah. 296 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:23,268 Stefan has been my biggest supporter, 297 00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:24,520 to be honest with you. 298 00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:28,607 Stefan plays a role of cameraman for me. 299 00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:33,946 I post, like, belly videos, just full body pics, 300 00:18:34,071 --> 00:18:37,532 embracing me in my own skin. 301 00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:43,830 I do do Only Fans, so I do a lot of fetishized content. 302 00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:46,292 I'm not into hardcore feederism. 303 00:18:46,417 --> 00:18:50,003 I eat my regular food and I put it up for sale, 304 00:18:50,004 --> 00:18:51,839 and people just happen to buy it, 305 00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,382 so that makes me some money. 306 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:59,220 Every chance that I get, I give that man the money he deserves. 307 00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:04,518 He's never asked me for a dime. It's all out of my own heart. 308 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:10,690 Stefan confessed his feelings first. 309 00:19:10,691 --> 00:19:11,859 I definitely feel special. 310 00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:13,819 When we first met, 311 00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:16,072 she had, like, this sweet innocence about her. 312 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,407 Right now, at this moment, like, I keep telling them, 313 00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:21,326 like, I am currently single. 314 00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:23,370 And I'm very close with everybody. 315 00:19:23,371 --> 00:19:24,497 And Rissa is cool with it. 316 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:28,166 The girls just do their own thing. 317 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,877 And what I get back, 318 00:19:30,878 --> 00:19:34,048 maybe like a home cooked meal, you know? 319 00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,509 He gets the thrill out of watching me do what I do. 320 00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:39,387 Like, he's very kinky, very, 321 00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:41,596 um, hands on. 322 00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:43,391 And I mean, I'm perfectly OK with it. 323 00:19:44,475 --> 00:19:46,727 I'm going on 23K followers. 324 00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:50,356 I get a million views on my account in a month. 325 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,275 Like, I built that myself, 326 00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:56,987 and it's all from body positivity. 327 00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:02,368 The body positive movement gave people permission to feel 328 00:20:02,493 --> 00:20:03,869 sexy and to feel seen. 329 00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:05,246 And then, of course, you're gonna get people 330 00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:06,913 that are like, "You're disgusting, 331 00:20:06,914 --> 00:20:10,250 and I can't bear to look at you." 332 00:20:10,251 --> 00:20:13,713 It really has everything to do with mainstream media. 333 00:20:13,838 --> 00:20:16,381 Sick of feeling fat, ugly, and tired? 334 00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:17,550 You know what? You're not alone. 335 00:20:17,675 --> 00:20:20,385 This is what body fat is on your daughter. 336 00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:23,556 This is what 67 pounds of fat looks like. 337 00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:27,560 Plus sized bodies have always been portrayed as something 338 00:20:27,685 --> 00:20:33,399 that needs to be fixed on TV, and it has serious implications 339 00:20:33,524 --> 00:20:35,942 for how society treats us. 340 00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:37,652 Do it now, OK? 341 00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:41,406 Everyone goes for 30 [bleep] seconds. 342 00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:45,785 The fact that "The Biggest Loser" got to exist 343 00:20:45,786 --> 00:20:47,246 is truly diabolical. 344 00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:49,123 We're here today at Xiomara's High School. 345 00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:51,958 Today is the first day that is gonna change her life. 346 00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:54,419 When I look in the mirror, I see disappointment. 347 00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:56,922 I feel disgusting. 348 00:20:57,047 --> 00:21:00,426 Whether it's a choice to be fat or whether they are 349 00:21:00,551 --> 00:21:02,470 desperately trying to lose weight, 350 00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:07,098 that kind of narrative is extremely damaging. 351 00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:08,142 This takes a while. 352 00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:09,268 This is a long process. 353 00:21:09,393 --> 00:21:11,436 Not something that happens in a day. 354 00:21:11,437 --> 00:21:14,440 Even if you wanted to change, 355 00:21:14,565 --> 00:21:16,816 it's dehumanizing, 356 00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:19,111 it's exhausting. 357 00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:21,029 Any of those shows, 358 00:21:21,030 --> 00:21:23,865 looking back, you realize at the end of the day, 359 00:21:23,866 --> 00:21:25,659 it does have real impact. 360 00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:31,123 Xiomara, today we are gonna help you change your life. 361 00:21:32,875 --> 00:21:36,128 Now, I'm at Pearadise in Vegas. 362 00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:44,470 Xiomara is an influencer 363 00:21:44,595 --> 00:21:45,845 and a friend of Pearadise. 364 00:21:46,847 --> 00:21:48,139 I met her on TikTok. 365 00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:49,642 We invited her to Pearadise. 366 00:21:51,018 --> 00:21:52,519 She's funny. 367 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:53,521 She's original. 368 00:21:55,397 --> 00:21:57,483 She makes TikToks that make you laugh. 369 00:21:57,608 --> 00:22:00,568 What should we [bleep] dah? I don't [bleep] nah. 370 00:22:00,569 --> 00:22:03,530 Ya didn't know yesterdah. And I don't know todah. 371 00:22:03,531 --> 00:22:05,990 When she was at the house, she gained followers 372 00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:08,868 from Pearadise, and I gained followers from her. 373 00:22:08,869 --> 00:22:11,579 I'm about to comment, guys, so you guys can follow me. 374 00:22:11,580 --> 00:22:12,914 When I wanted to do, like, a mukbang, 375 00:22:12,915 --> 00:22:14,041 don't come for me. 376 00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:15,250 Oops. 377 00:22:15,251 --> 00:22:17,169 A mukbang is internet slang 378 00:22:17,294 --> 00:22:18,879 for eating on camera. 379 00:22:19,004 --> 00:22:22,049 Walmart hall at 5:22 AM. 380 00:22:22,174 --> 00:22:23,509 I got jerky. 381 00:22:24,593 --> 00:22:26,679 I mean, Xi is still mukbanging. 382 00:22:28,889 --> 00:22:31,099 As a guy that absolutely loves fat girls, 383 00:22:31,100 --> 00:22:33,726 I always want them happy and healthy, too. 384 00:22:33,727 --> 00:22:34,894 There's a red line in the sand. 385 00:22:34,895 --> 00:22:36,105 You don't wanna go across that line. 386 00:22:37,147 --> 00:22:39,524 Kass was across that line. 387 00:22:39,525 --> 00:22:41,735 I also saw Xi on the other side of the line. 388 00:22:43,529 --> 00:22:48,367 I was there when Xiomara came to visit Pearadise. 389 00:22:49,869 --> 00:22:53,121 We made TikToks. We had family dinners. 390 00:22:53,122 --> 00:22:54,748 - Xi! - Hi! 391 00:22:54,874 --> 00:22:56,250 And then she got sick. 392 00:22:58,377 --> 00:23:00,378 We had noticed that, like, the vibe was off. 393 00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:02,089 She was very quiet. 394 00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:04,383 She didn't come out of her room for multiple days. 395 00:23:05,801 --> 00:23:07,468 And, like, you know, eventually it got to a point 396 00:23:07,469 --> 00:23:08,888 people in the house got concerned. 397 00:23:17,354 --> 00:23:21,984 We had checked on her, and she was kind of incoherent. 398 00:23:24,236 --> 00:23:27,655 She was crying, and she just was not in good shape at all. 399 00:23:27,656 --> 00:23:29,741 Her skin didn't look good. 400 00:23:29,742 --> 00:23:32,620 I ran out to get an oxygen meter, 401 00:23:34,413 --> 00:23:35,956 and we clipped it on her finger, and the reading was 402 00:23:36,081 --> 00:23:38,375 like 60, and it was immediately 911. 403 00:23:41,003 --> 00:23:42,755 911 Emergency. 404 00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:44,590 We didn't know if she was gonna make it. 405 00:23:46,008 --> 00:23:48,719 She was freaking out. She didn't wanna go. 406 00:23:51,555 --> 00:23:52,681 And I had to tell her, 407 00:23:54,141 --> 00:23:55,684 "You're choosing to die." 408 00:24:11,992 --> 00:24:15,411 Xiomara ended up in the hospital here in Las Vegas, 409 00:24:15,412 --> 00:24:16,914 and we were all heartbroken. 410 00:24:17,915 --> 00:24:21,669 She had contracted pneumonia and flu. 411 00:24:21,794 --> 00:24:22,836 I'm mad at myself. 412 00:24:24,004 --> 00:24:28,175 I didn't really see how bad she was until it was that bad. 413 00:24:41,021 --> 00:24:43,064 She disappeared for a few months. 414 00:24:43,065 --> 00:24:45,108 People within plus-size communities were like, 415 00:24:45,109 --> 00:24:46,567 "Is she alive? Is she dead? 416 00:24:46,568 --> 00:24:48,444 Is she alive? Is she dead?" 417 00:24:48,445 --> 00:24:50,905 She's doing all right, and hopefully 418 00:24:50,906 --> 00:24:53,784 um, she can get out sometime soon. 419 00:24:55,327 --> 00:24:58,580 She went into a coma, and when she came out of it, 420 00:24:58,706 --> 00:25:01,208 she started trying to document more of her health journey. 421 00:25:03,544 --> 00:25:07,381 I feel like I never really got to live my life, and it's sad. 422 00:25:08,382 --> 00:25:11,010 She's been in rehab to regain her mobility. 423 00:25:14,471 --> 00:25:17,433 In the beginning, she was sharing her journey 424 00:25:17,558 --> 00:25:21,728 day after day after day, once or twice a day. 425 00:25:21,729 --> 00:25:23,731 Happy 400K! 426 00:25:23,856 --> 00:25:24,981 Wow, tacos . 427 00:25:24,982 --> 00:25:26,025 Let's go, Arizona. 428 00:25:29,570 --> 00:25:31,113 No mames, güey. 429 00:25:31,238 --> 00:25:34,907 But then she started going live on TikTok and mukbanging, 430 00:25:34,908 --> 00:25:38,454 basically, from DoorDash in the hospital bed. 431 00:25:38,579 --> 00:25:40,663 Look at the cheese at the bottom. 432 00:25:40,664 --> 00:25:41,665 Oh, my gosh. 433 00:25:43,250 --> 00:25:44,793 That's what I got. 434 00:25:44,918 --> 00:25:46,628 This is really delicious. 435 00:25:46,754 --> 00:25:48,796 Her pastime was like, going live 436 00:25:48,797 --> 00:25:50,424 talking to people, eating food or whatever. 437 00:25:54,011 --> 00:25:55,471 But, like, you know, as a friend, like... 438 00:25:59,266 --> 00:26:00,517 I was worried about her. 439 00:26:02,394 --> 00:26:06,315 Being bedridden for that amount of time would be killing me. 440 00:26:12,154 --> 00:26:15,699 Guys, my Pearadise friends are about to be here. 441 00:26:17,117 --> 00:26:18,701 I told her, like, "Xi, 442 00:26:18,702 --> 00:26:22,998 when you're ready for visitors, let me know." 443 00:26:26,376 --> 00:26:29,295 And we went to see her. We made a couple of TikToks. 444 00:26:29,296 --> 00:26:32,548 One of them actually went viral right now, 1.4 million views. 445 00:26:32,549 --> 00:26:34,676 Guys, look who just got here! 446 00:26:36,512 --> 00:26:38,387 All right, we're gonna go eat food now. 447 00:26:38,388 --> 00:26:39,848 We ate dinner with her. We hung out. 448 00:26:39,973 --> 00:26:41,307 We spent the whole day with her. 449 00:26:41,308 --> 00:26:43,392 Finally trying a Mici pizza. 450 00:26:43,393 --> 00:26:46,814 This is a Supreme, a Caesar, Mozz. 451 00:26:47,940 --> 00:26:49,149 They're good. 452 00:26:49,274 --> 00:26:50,983 I've had people quite literally say, like, you know, 453 00:26:50,984 --> 00:26:52,902 I'm the reason why Xi is in the hospital. 454 00:26:52,903 --> 00:26:55,030 We brought her that because she asked for it. 455 00:26:55,155 --> 00:26:56,156 She's an adult. 456 00:26:56,281 --> 00:26:57,406 I think they knew we were fat 457 00:26:57,407 --> 00:26:58,825 and wanted big-ass pieces. 458 00:26:58,826 --> 00:27:00,536 I'm not her parent. I'm her friend. 459 00:27:01,995 --> 00:27:03,579 There are people claiming that 460 00:27:03,580 --> 00:27:06,834 I send her DoorDash every day and feed her. 461 00:27:06,959 --> 00:27:08,835 Xi herself responded to that and said, like, 462 00:27:08,836 --> 00:27:10,712 "What an utter amount of bullshit." 463 00:27:10,838 --> 00:27:12,881 Her being at this house really 464 00:27:13,006 --> 00:27:17,886 contributed to things getting so much worse. 465 00:27:54,006 --> 00:27:56,049 So you tell me how I have to have it. 466 00:28:06,810 --> 00:28:08,687 She's gonna get on for the TikTok. 467 00:28:14,985 --> 00:28:15,986 Can you guys hear me? 468 00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:26,472 Us humans, we can eroticize anything. 469 00:29:26,473 --> 00:29:28,809 And that's both good and that's bad. 470 00:29:28,934 --> 00:29:32,895 And when you pair arousal or pleasure with something, 471 00:29:32,896 --> 00:29:34,730 that gets hardwired. 472 00:29:34,731 --> 00:29:39,027 So for someone who has had pleasure associated 473 00:29:39,152 --> 00:29:43,615 with being fed, it is nearly impossible to turn off. 474 00:30:13,437 --> 00:30:17,566 Content creation is almost a trifecta of risk. 475 00:30:17,691 --> 00:30:20,026 It's financially beneficial, 476 00:30:20,027 --> 00:30:22,695 your ego gets validation... 477 00:30:22,696 --> 00:30:23,697 Oh, my God. 478 00:30:25,073 --> 00:30:27,116 ...and if I have nothing else to feel good about, 479 00:30:27,117 --> 00:30:28,784 that is where I find my worth. 480 00:30:28,785 --> 00:30:29,952 You crack me up-- 481 00:30:29,953 --> 00:30:32,079 To finally feel wanted and desired 482 00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:34,915 is gonna make it very hard to back away from something, 483 00:30:34,916 --> 00:30:37,377 even if it's life-threatening and dangerous. 484 00:31:13,580 --> 00:31:14,915 Say "Bye." 485 00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:16,916 Bye. 486 00:31:16,917 --> 00:31:17,918 - I love you. - Bye. 487 00:31:24,299 --> 00:31:25,592 I did not think I'd be going 488 00:31:25,717 --> 00:31:27,969 to the hospital again. 489 00:31:28,095 --> 00:31:31,598 I turn 30 in a couple of hours, and I'm gonna be having 490 00:31:31,723 --> 00:31:33,974 surgery for the first time in my life ever. 491 00:31:33,975 --> 00:31:35,184 It's my gallbladder. 492 00:31:35,185 --> 00:31:36,770 There's a lot of risks, 493 00:31:36,895 --> 00:31:38,438 obviously, with a person my size, 494 00:31:38,563 --> 00:31:41,274 and I am worried. 495 00:31:50,617 --> 00:31:53,078 I just had my first, surgery, ever. 496 00:31:54,162 --> 00:31:56,331 With everything that I go through, I just learned to 497 00:31:57,958 --> 00:31:59,209 love myself a little more. 498 00:32:40,500 --> 00:32:42,960 This battle between us and Pearadise, 499 00:32:42,961 --> 00:32:45,254 it's not this black-and-white situation. 500 00:32:45,255 --> 00:32:46,590 It's not cut-and-dry. 501 00:32:46,715 --> 00:32:48,090 At the end of the day, 502 00:32:48,091 --> 00:32:50,719 all I cared about was those girls. 503 00:32:53,013 --> 00:32:54,931 We were in this fight for your life 504 00:32:55,056 --> 00:32:56,349 for a whole year and a half. 505 00:32:57,642 --> 00:32:59,728 We were being sued for a million dollars, 506 00:33:00,937 --> 00:33:03,607 and he didn't really wanna win a million dollars. 507 00:33:03,732 --> 00:33:05,649 He wanted to scare us. 508 00:33:05,650 --> 00:33:08,403 Stefan benefits off of silencing people. 509 00:33:10,906 --> 00:33:14,283 Early January, I was in the process of making 510 00:33:14,284 --> 00:33:16,286 a TikTok video and this little, like, 511 00:33:16,411 --> 00:33:18,996 notification pops up from our lawyer. 512 00:33:18,997 --> 00:33:21,790 So I click on the email, and it's the judge saying that 513 00:33:21,791 --> 00:33:24,460 they're throwing out the defamation lawsuit. 514 00:33:24,461 --> 00:33:27,129 And I literally felt in my knees and just cry 515 00:33:27,130 --> 00:33:29,423 because it felt like this weight had been taken off. 516 00:33:29,424 --> 00:33:31,927 I remember just thinking, "Oh, my God, we made it." 517 00:33:34,763 --> 00:33:37,307 Yesterday, we got word that the court is siding 518 00:33:37,432 --> 00:33:40,310 in our favor and has dismissed the case. 519 00:33:40,435 --> 00:33:41,978 Because we won the lawsuit, 520 00:33:42,103 --> 00:33:44,147 I can keep speaking out about this. 521 00:33:45,815 --> 00:33:48,817 But now I really do feel trapped because I don't think 522 00:33:48,818 --> 00:33:51,279 this is something that's ever gonna be done 523 00:33:51,404 --> 00:33:53,782 because he's never going to be done. 524 00:34:02,582 --> 00:34:05,794 - Ow! - I missed you. 525 00:34:08,672 --> 00:34:11,007 From the jump, you were like the rock. 526 00:34:12,759 --> 00:34:16,179 You kept me going. You kept everybody going. 527 00:34:16,304 --> 00:34:17,346 I would go into battle with you, 528 00:34:17,347 --> 00:34:18,640 no matter where you go. - Yeah. 529 00:34:18,765 --> 00:34:20,391 - Always and forever. - Yeah. 530 00:34:20,392 --> 00:34:22,644 I wish more people knew because I know there are 531 00:34:22,769 --> 00:34:24,604 women going into that house. 532 00:34:29,150 --> 00:34:35,531 Audrey! Audrey! Audrey! Audrey! 533 00:34:35,532 --> 00:34:37,492 I want people to understand that Pearadise is like 534 00:34:37,617 --> 00:34:40,369 a safe haven for me. It always has been. 535 00:34:40,370 --> 00:34:41,662 It always will be. 536 00:34:41,663 --> 00:34:43,205 No skinny Pearadise! 537 00:34:45,041 --> 00:34:46,750 He's getting all the good angles! 538 00:34:46,751 --> 00:34:48,252 I'm not a victim, 539 00:34:48,253 --> 00:34:50,879 and nobody at the house is a victim. 540 00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:53,883 People should be asking us why we want to be there. 541 00:34:56,094 --> 00:34:59,221 Living in this world that doesn't want me to be here, 542 00:34:59,222 --> 00:35:01,098 Pearadise will always be a part of my life. 543 00:35:01,099 --> 00:35:02,434 It'll always be a part of who I am. 544 00:35:04,477 --> 00:35:06,770 Looking back at the girl that I was, 545 00:35:06,771 --> 00:35:08,064 it's just, like, 546 00:35:08,189 --> 00:35:11,735 super unbelievable being comfortable in my skin. 547 00:35:11,860 --> 00:35:13,862 I'm still alive today because of it. 548 00:35:16,740 --> 00:35:19,074 I still believe in the mission of Pearadise. 549 00:35:19,075 --> 00:35:20,201 It's very important for people 550 00:35:20,327 --> 00:35:21,828 to understand that, like, we need it. 551 00:35:23,288 --> 00:35:25,790 I believe in treating everybody like I wanna be treated. 552 00:35:27,709 --> 00:35:30,210 For anybody that's ever been in my presence, 553 00:35:30,211 --> 00:35:34,465 like, you know, if I ever said anything or did anything, 554 00:35:34,466 --> 00:35:36,426 if you ever felt uneasy about me, like, I'm sorry. 555 00:35:36,551 --> 00:35:38,637 Like, that was never-- that was never my intention. 556 00:35:40,055 --> 00:35:41,555 I'm a completely different person totally. 557 00:35:41,556 --> 00:35:43,557 I've grown so much since then. 558 00:35:43,558 --> 00:35:45,268 Eventually, I'm gonna get to the point where 559 00:35:45,393 --> 00:35:46,645 I can forgive these girls. 560 00:35:48,396 --> 00:35:54,568 And telling my story has to be the closure, 561 00:35:54,569 --> 00:35:56,905 because otherwise I'm gonna carry this around me 562 00:35:57,030 --> 00:35:59,074 till the end of my days, and I don't want to. 563 00:36:04,079 --> 00:36:05,372 - Cut. - Great. 564 00:36:06,623 --> 00:36:08,583 I'm really curious to see what comes out. 565 00:36:09,751 --> 00:36:11,795 You know, sometimes people just don't wanna hear my story. 566 00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:12,921 They just don't wanna hear it. 567 00:36:40,115 --> 00:36:41,616 That's where we are right now. 568 00:36:41,741 --> 00:36:44,993 We're trying to move past it, but he never does. 569 00:36:44,994 --> 00:36:46,496 What I had to deal with, 570 00:36:48,289 --> 00:36:49,457 I don't have words for it. 571 00:36:52,210 --> 00:36:53,545 He continues to hurt me. 572 00:36:54,713 --> 00:36:56,297 And he has a platform to do it. 573 00:36:58,007 --> 00:36:59,634 Not only did he take advantage of me, 574 00:37:01,636 --> 00:37:04,639 he put my naked body on the internet. 575 00:37:06,808 --> 00:37:09,476 Stefan has security camera footage of her 576 00:37:09,477 --> 00:37:12,229 undressing in his living room where she was nude 577 00:37:12,230 --> 00:37:13,815 that he posted to TikTok. 578 00:37:16,109 --> 00:37:18,653 Like, that was vile. You don't do that. 579 00:37:51,770 --> 00:37:53,021 Because at the end of the day, everything-- 580 00:37:53,146 --> 00:37:54,481 You know, he's grasping at 581 00:37:55,482 --> 00:37:59,194 trying to prove innocence rather than take accountability 582 00:37:59,319 --> 00:38:00,361 for anything he's done. 583 00:38:02,030 --> 00:38:05,200 It never stops. It just never stops. 584 00:38:10,246 --> 00:38:14,375 If Pearadise is a safe space for big girls, 585 00:38:14,501 --> 00:38:16,711 the world has failed the big girls. 586 00:38:23,301 --> 00:38:24,594 Oh, my God, you look so pretty! 587 00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:26,720 - Look at you guys! - Forever. 588 00:38:26,721 --> 00:38:29,724 Oh, my God, stop it! Hi, Cece! 589 00:38:29,849 --> 00:38:32,810 I want to think that we're all intelligent people 590 00:38:32,811 --> 00:38:34,937 and that we would have never expected that we would've 591 00:38:34,938 --> 00:38:36,396 end up in the situations that we did. 592 00:38:36,397 --> 00:38:38,732 - Not in a million years. - Oh, no. 593 00:38:38,733 --> 00:38:41,903 Empathy would make the world a lot safer of a place. 594 00:38:43,321 --> 00:38:46,449 There's a lot that's happened over the last couple of years. 595 00:38:46,574 --> 00:38:48,826 We've seen a lot, done a lot, 596 00:38:48,827 --> 00:38:50,619 hurt a lot of people, 597 00:38:50,620 --> 00:38:51,829 and I'm sorry. 598 00:38:51,830 --> 00:38:53,456 I cannot begin to put into words 599 00:38:53,581 --> 00:38:55,416 how [bleep] proud I am of you. 600 00:38:55,542 --> 00:38:57,168 You look at peace. 601 00:38:58,586 --> 00:39:00,462 It's good to see you, 602 00:39:00,463 --> 00:39:03,340 to see you, if you know what I mean. 603 00:39:03,341 --> 00:39:06,093 - I feel like me again. - That's good. 604 00:39:06,094 --> 00:39:09,430 - That's awesome. - That man [bleep] me up. 605 00:39:09,556 --> 00:39:10,973 I know. 606 00:39:10,974 --> 00:39:13,101 You are worth so much more than that. 607 00:39:13,226 --> 00:39:17,522 You have always been worth so much more than that. 608 00:39:24,654 --> 00:39:26,530 I think the culture that we live in 609 00:39:26,531 --> 00:39:30,993 will push fat women so far that a place like Pearadise, 610 00:39:30,994 --> 00:39:33,287 that is the better option. 611 00:39:33,288 --> 00:39:35,372 Pearadise is the backdrop. 612 00:39:35,373 --> 00:39:38,001 But really, it's a conversation about 613 00:39:38,126 --> 00:39:39,961 how we're [bleep] treating each other. 614 00:39:41,004 --> 00:39:42,838 If you have not lived in a fat body, 615 00:39:42,839 --> 00:39:44,214 I hope that people will watch this 616 00:39:44,215 --> 00:39:46,092 and do wanna make a change. 617 00:39:47,385 --> 00:39:51,973 You have the power to live your life fearlessly, 618 00:39:52,098 --> 00:39:56,685 to experience joy and happiness and love and passion. 619 00:39:56,686 --> 00:40:01,316 And I would hope that one day we are seen as more 620 00:40:01,441 --> 00:40:03,067 than just our bodies. 621 00:40:04,652 --> 00:40:10,073 ♪ The road you're on is unpaved but the gravel is worth it ♪ 622 00:40:10,074 --> 00:40:12,994 ♪ It has to be ♪ 623 00:40:13,119 --> 00:40:17,498 ♪ Time hasn't failed you just derailed you ♪ 624 00:40:17,624 --> 00:40:20,668 ♪ Keep breathing I know you'll see ♪ 625 00:40:22,045 --> 00:40:24,505 ♪ what I see, what I see ♪ 626 00:40:24,631 --> 00:40:26,466 I would tell younger me that she's gonna be OK. 627 00:40:27,508 --> 00:40:29,426 You deserve better. 628 00:40:29,427 --> 00:40:33,181 You deserve to feel better about yourself, and you deserve 629 00:40:33,306 --> 00:40:35,724 all the love and all the good things in the world, 630 00:40:35,725 --> 00:40:37,560 and you deserve friends, 631 00:40:37,685 --> 00:40:42,689 people who see you and who love you unconditionally. 632 00:40:42,690 --> 00:40:44,066 ♪ Sure, it's heavy ♪ 633 00:40:44,067 --> 00:40:46,361 ♪ Sure, it's hard ♪ 634 00:40:46,486 --> 00:40:49,613 ♪ Sometimes you've gotta go back to the start ♪ 635 00:40:49,614 --> 00:40:54,409 ♪ But you're still in there despite the fall ♪ 636 00:40:54,410 --> 00:40:57,580 ♪ Despite it all ♪ 637 00:41:00,249 --> 00:41:02,250 We're gonna get through it. 638 00:41:02,251 --> 00:41:04,921 Right? 639 00:41:05,046 --> 00:41:06,506 We're gonna we're gonna do it.