1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,000 The following programme contains distressing scenes. 2 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:08,400 This programme also contains themes of suicide. 3 00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:18,199 Scene one, take two, audio track three. 4 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:20,719 I'm gonna get comfortable cos I don't know what we're 5 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:22,799 talking about, but I'm gonna take my socks off. 6 00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:25,599 Get your dogs out. My Cinderella feet, 7 00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:29,239 waiting for someone to put the golden slippers on 'em. 8 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:31,160 That's what I need. 9 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:34,679 Are there any frogs out there for me I can kiss 10 00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:37,079 and be a real prince, please? 11 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:39,279 What sort of fella would you want now? 12 00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:41,319 Right, do you want to know the truth? Yeah. 13 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:45,399 What kind of man I'd manifest for. Right. 14 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:48,279 Someone older. Yeah. 15 00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:50,719 But they've still got to be fit. Yeah, right. 16 00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:54,439 I normally go for, like, late '20s, early '30s. 17 00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:57,199 Yeah, you've got... I think I'm done with that now. 18 00:00:57,200 --> 00:01:01,319 Someone who can treat me, someone who doesn't have to be 19 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:04,359 in and out my pockets all the time. 20 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:07,719 Someone supportive, someone who understands my job, 21 00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:11,159 someone who wants to be private, who doesn't want to be famous, 22 00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:14,039 just know for me, not about everything else. 23 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:18,479 I won't settle for anything less of what I want in a man 24 00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:22,039 because I'm not doing it any more, I'm not doing it to myself. 25 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:24,959 I'm not doing it to the kids, or my family 26 00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:27,120 cos they're sick of it, it's not fair on them. 27 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:35,959 - She justannounced that she got engagedto a random man in Dubai. 28 00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:38,399 - Businessman, entrepreneur Lee Andrews. 29 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:40,759 She got married with no family, 30 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:42,959 just two days after the engagement. Damn! 31 00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:45,439 Look at that, you've absolutely spoiled me. 32 00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:46,719 Oof! 33 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:50,200 Um, it's left her family totally and utterly baffled. 34 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:53,640 And... 35 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:57,279 What's she... I said to Am, what she going to Dubai for? 36 00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:01,199 "See a bloke". I said I, I... 37 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:04,359 What, what's it, and then we find out you're getting married. 38 00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:07,279 You're off your head! And then, the geezer in the paper 39 00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:09,559 pretending he's a millionaire. 40 00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:11,960 Are you cross with her? Oh, 100%. 41 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:18,959 This is the most silliest, stupidest thing. 42 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:20,279 What? 43 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:22,239 Marrying a guy that we don't even know. 44 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:24,840 I, I've... Well, this just sums it up. 45 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:28,360 This is my mum, this is what she does. 46 00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:31,119 Yeah. 47 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:34,039 Me, Dan and Sophie, we go, "Why?" 48 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:37,199 Why, why, why, it's always... 49 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,279 You've said that word a lot, have you? 50 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:41,200 Yeah. All the time. 51 00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:47,320 I really would like to get to the bottom of her. 52 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:13,959 I'm walking around, I'm in my dressing room, I'm upstairs, 53 00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:16,640 I'm like, "What shall I do? I'm bored!" 54 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:20,760 I need the kids to come home. 55 00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:27,239 'About a month after me and Pete split, I was in my big house.' 56 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:30,440 I didn't just split up with Pete, everyone had gone. 57 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:33,880 Claire, Pete, my management team. 58 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:38,760 One minute, we're all like family and the next thing it's gone, gone. 59 00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:43,199 There's no Mum, Dad and your kids together, it's separate. 60 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:44,840 Hello! 61 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:49,319 'Harvey, I don't think he understood. 62 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:54,080 'Princess was only a year and a half and Junior, was what, three or four. 63 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:57,560 'They didn't understand and they wanted me. 64 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:00,720 'But I had to share them with Pete.' 65 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:05,239 I would never stop the kids seeing their dads anyway 66 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:07,320 because I'm not that kind of person. 67 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,599 'My dad wasn't around growing up, 68 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:16,160 'and I would never want that to happen to my kids.' 69 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:27,599 But in a way, it happened so young that I don't think 70 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,239 it would have affected them. 71 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:32,439 But then, saying that, everything stems from 72 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:34,440 your childhood, doesn't it? 73 00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:41,519 Pete? 74 00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:43,319 Get in there, dude! 75 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:45,839 I don't want anyone inside the driveway, you hear me? 76 00:04:45,840 --> 00:04:47,240 No-one. 77 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:51,360 That is your corner mate, stay back. OK, cool. No worries. 78 00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:59,640 It wasn't just a simple break away. 79 00:05:00,840 --> 00:05:04,919 We had to sort of start organising when Pete's gonna have the children, 80 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:06,959 when she's gonna have the children. 81 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:09,999 I think it worked one week there, one week there, whatever. 82 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:14,839 She was, she was devastated, you know. 83 00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:17,000 Kiss, bye-bye. Right. 84 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:21,039 I'm going home. 85 00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:23,120 See... She's had her baby. 86 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:28,519 No. 87 00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:32,640 It's hard. It is hard, yeah. It was hard. 88 00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:36,600 See you tomorrow! Bye, Mummy. 89 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,279 She's never liked being on her own. 90 00:05:44,280 --> 00:05:46,680 That's when she's most vulnerable, I think. 91 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:50,040 I was lonely. 92 00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:54,759 And that's why doing the filming was a good thing for me, 93 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:58,960 it was like a security that I've got the support and someone's with me. 94 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:04,839 I contacted ITV and said, "I want to continue with the reality show, 95 00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:07,320 "let's just do it right now, let's just start." 96 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:14,719 What Katie Did Next, it was different, felt free. 97 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:17,440 This is the fresh me, the new chapter. 98 00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:21,359 It was all mine, not being controlled 99 00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:23,639 and I chose the film crew. 100 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:28,119 The first time I met Kate. Yeah, I'm... 101 00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:31,119 I remember walking in to the house, and uh... 102 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:33,999 She's very sort of forthcoming when you sort of meet her. 103 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,879 She will sort of say things, "Oh! Hello, Ben!" Like... 104 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:39,919 "Oh, did you have pictures of me on your wall when you were younger?" 105 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:42,000 It was all, it was sort of things like that. 106 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:45,239 But to be honest, it puts you at ease straight away. 107 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:48,279 You had to kind of get in line with it, otherwise, 108 00:06:48,280 --> 00:06:51,279 it would be a very uncomfortable few weeks. 109 00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:54,119 I split with Pete, we're going through a divorce, 110 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:58,119 so welcome to my journey of independent woman, whoo! 111 00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:00,599 I think we were filling a void at that time. 112 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:02,919 Quite often, we'd get to the end of the filming day 113 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:05,879 and she'd say to us, "Do you want to stay for a curry?" Or you know, 114 00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:08,919 "Do you want to stay overnight, you can sleep in the spare bedroom?" 115 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:11,639 You did get this sense that she wanted us there. 116 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:14,119 So, half past four and I'm thinking everyone's 117 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:16,999 gonna be gone in a minute and what do I do? 118 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,239 Kids will be home. 119 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:21,560 Suppose I could go in the swimming pool with them. 120 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:26,479 Have you got memories of that? 121 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,599 I think I've only got two memories 122 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:31,479 of seeing my mum and dad together in person. 123 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:34,319 Yeah, I don't actually ever remember them being together. 124 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:36,720 I just always remember being at Dad's, then Mum's. 125 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:39,439 Hey, kids?! 126 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:43,719 It was actually really fun for us growing up in separate households. 127 00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:45,439 Mum is a very fun mum. 128 00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:48,999 Beep, beep! 'Very loving in her own way.' 129 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,679 Did you miss Mummy? Did you?! 130 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:55,079 There weren't really many rules. Just imagine, you know, 131 00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:58,079 kids just running around, high on sugar. 132 00:07:58,080 --> 00:07:59,720 It's like a mad house! 133 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:04,879 We never did anything to, like, really cross boundaries 134 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:07,679 but Mum didn't really have any boundaries anyway to cross. 135 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:10,080 Quick! Junior? 136 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:14,440 - You're gonna go to Daddy's. Do you want to see Daddy? - Yeah. 137 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:18,799 With our Dad, we've got rules, we've got a bedtime, 138 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:21,399 it was more routined, which I'm very thankful for, 139 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:23,960 because it, it actually kept our sanity! 140 00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:27,999 Yeah, you never have a boring with her. 141 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,159 There's always something going on in her life. 142 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:32,279 Katie! Katie! Katie! 143 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:38,399 We're sharing the kids, I've got time on my hands. 144 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:41,919 Just cos I've split with Pete, I'm not gonna sit at home on my own 145 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:45,959 dwelling, thinking about it. Just get on with work, keep busy. 146 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,919 I was still massive, like, in demand. 147 00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:52,399 It was quite amazing really, after all the bad press that she got, 148 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:56,160 people still bought in to her and she was still successful. 149 00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:59,279 She was probably at the height of her fame, 150 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:02,039 and the height of her wealth as well. She was reported to be worth 151 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:04,679 40 million or something, she's got a few quid in the bank. 152 00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:12,239 She was big business, obscene amounts of money. 153 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:15,079 But she had no management. Yeah, it was just messy. 154 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:17,360 It just needed straightening up a bit. 155 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:21,479 I think if you put more in it, you get more out of it. 156 00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:25,159 'So, I kind of decided to set up Black Sheep Management.' 157 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:27,399 I think he called it Black Sheep cos I'm like 158 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,119 the black sheep of the family, the odd one. 159 00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:34,159 I also did the finances so I made sure that invoices were sent, 160 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:35,959 invoices were paid. 161 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:39,679 The accountants, the lawyer, the divorce lawyer, make-up, 162 00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:41,959 equestrian, horse fees. 163 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:45,279 Hello! He's such a good boy. 164 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:48,519 We'd have difficult conversations, sometimes we'd have fall-outs 165 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:52,080 because she needs help with control. 166 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:55,479 Are you good with money? 167 00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:57,879 Do you know, it's not that I'm not good with money, 168 00:09:57,880 --> 00:09:59,920 it's I just have a lot of expenses. 169 00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:04,159 And what can I say? You know, having horses, 170 00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:08,079 horses isn't a cheap hobby. You know, having dogs and cats, 171 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:13,199 chickens, sheep, gardens, you need gardeners, this, that. 172 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:16,759 I'm not gonna sit on a tractor, am I? And mow my bloody grass. 173 00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:22,999 All we tried to do is just have a little bit of structure 174 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:25,240 in her world, cos it was so chaotic. 175 00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:36,079 At that time, Kate's a bit lost. 176 00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:38,239 She's just gone through a break-up 177 00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:40,639 and some people deal with it differently. 178 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:44,639 Some people hide away, some people go out 179 00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:48,800 and come to my 30th birthday party and meet Alex Reid! 180 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:53,479 Right, let's go, baby! 181 00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:55,600 Take one, audio track three. 182 00:10:57,560 --> 00:10:59,719 Can I go and do a few more bicep curls? 183 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:07,799 Hey, Michelle! Whoo-hoo! 184 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:10,199 It happened to be my 30th birthday party. 185 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:12,119 Look at you, baby! 186 00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:15,519 All of our friends were there and we were saying to Kate, you know, 187 00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:17,439 "Maybe just come out, let your hair down." 188 00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:18,959 You look gorgeous! 189 00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:22,280 Michelle Heaton and me go back so many years. 190 00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:25,719 She was the pop star, I was the model, 191 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:28,439 we was a good little duo when we went out. 192 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:32,359 This particular night, I remember wearing a little tutu - 193 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:35,200 I was in to tutus then, like a little corset tops. 194 00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:37,999 So, you're looking hot? 195 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,759 So I was looking hot, I was looking fucking hot actually. 196 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:42,239 Let's go! 197 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:44,399 'Alex walks in and had this aura.' 198 00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:47,799 You know, the broken nose look and I was like, "Phwoar, yeah!" 199 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:52,159 He was like a walking weapon, he was a perfect rebound. 200 00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:54,320 Absolutely perfect rebound. 201 00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:59,000 I was known as "The Reidinator". 202 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:05,039 Alex "The Reidinator" Reid! 203 00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:10,400 In the fighting world, my character was "never say die". 204 00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:13,839 A bit like Rocky, kept, keep getting up. 205 00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:16,559 People saying he's like a robot, he's like a machine. 206 00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:18,999 In fact, he's like the Terminator. And my trainer said, 207 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:22,799 "He's not the Terminator, he's the Reidinator," and it just stuck. 208 00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:25,680 - What's your name? How you doing? - How are you? 209 00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:30,320 'Kate was extremely attractive and I was extremely attracted to her. 210 00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:34,840 'There was clearly a chemistry. 211 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:38,520 'We couldn't keep our hands off each other.' 212 00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:46,479 The next day after the party, me and my husband were downstairs 213 00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:50,279 in the, erm, in the kitchen, having breakfast. 214 00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:53,720 And Alex walks down and he's, he's butt naked. 215 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:57,120 Pretty, I mean, he's butt naked! 216 00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:03,839 It was fantastic. Oh, yeah, it was very fantastic! 217 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:07,479 I thought she was fun. 218 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:09,959 They had a great... I heard the fun. What? 219 00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:11,759 I heard the fun! What do you mean? 220 00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:14,360 Upstairs! They were having a wild time. 221 00:13:15,680 --> 00:13:18,200 Not my, not my cup of tea, you know? 222 00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:21,239 My goodness! 223 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:24,399 The sexual attraction was like off the scale. 224 00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:26,759 It's like, sure, you could just feel it. 225 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:30,440 And I rushed things, I did. Without thinking. 226 00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:34,600 I just wanted to see more and more of him, and he did me too. 227 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:39,160 It was, it was beautiful. I felt like we clicked. 228 00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:42,560 You know. Mind and body. 229 00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:49,879 Kate's a sucker for love. When she likes somebody, 230 00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:53,960 it's a relationship. Everything in, all on the table. 231 00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:58,119 It was very quick. All of a sudden, he's living in her house 232 00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:00,280 in Surrey. They're together, 24/7. 233 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:06,439 I was introduced to Harvey, Princess and Junior 234 00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:08,599 pretty much straight away. 235 00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:10,079 Oh, good job! 236 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:14,159 'We went to a local park, that was all papped. 237 00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:18,079 'It was deliberately set up, though I didn't realise at the time,' 238 00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:21,240 knowing that's gonna get massive headlines. 239 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:31,039 We went to the park and set up pap pictures with the kids and stuff. 240 00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:33,239 You set those up at that point, yeah? 241 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:34,879 I set all them up, yeah. 242 00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:39,599 It was a hot day and he just took his top off, playing football, 243 00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:41,319 that's all it was. 244 00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:43,959 Of course, I got press over it cos it was the first man 245 00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:48,280 I was with after Pete, so of course, it's like scandal and this and that. 246 00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:55,479 Yeah, and I probably did go with him to try and make Pete jealous. 247 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:57,040 Yeah, of course. 248 00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:00,919 The optics, as people say, weren't great. 249 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:03,319 You know, this was definitely the narrative, 250 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:05,759 how hurt Peter was by seeing the new man, 251 00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:10,400 a complete stranger relatively, you know, playing with his children. 252 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:14,640 And Kate was the pantomime villain, in this case. 253 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:20,759 We pulled back a bit, because our readers 254 00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:24,640 were very Team Pete, very much so. 255 00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:30,240 People weren't buying Kate and Alex's relationship. 256 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:34,320 I think they wanted her to be heartbroken for years. 257 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:40,240 And that relationship is, for our readers, not aspirational. 258 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:47,320 I was getting battered from every, every side of the coin. 259 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:52,280 I can't win, whatever I do. 260 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:58,159 Going in the jungle, it was a way of, again, like the first time, 261 00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:01,320 show that I'm not this person they're writing about. 262 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:09,439 When Katie went back in 2009, people are still fascinated by her. 263 00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:11,279 Oh, my bloody nails! 264 00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:14,319 Katie helped put I'm A Celebrity on the map, 265 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:17,599 she always delivers. In TV wise, 266 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:20,559 she's always fascinating to watch. 267 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:23,919 But I think that judgement was there. 268 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:29,559 And on I'm A Celebrity, it's hard to play the same trick twice. 269 00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:33,439 I'm just saying that we're not all big fans of Katie Price, that's all. 270 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:36,040 And what have you got against her, personally? 271 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:39,080 Well, if you must know... 272 00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:42,279 Oh, for goodness sakes! 273 00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:44,239 Hi! Hello! 274 00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:48,479 It was just very confusing because this time in the jungle, 275 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:50,239 it was very different. 276 00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:52,399 How are you? How are you? You all right? 277 00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:54,640 I'm Kate, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you... 278 00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:58,400 I just remember walking in, it was like... 279 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:02,119 If you went back to an old house you used to live in, 280 00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:04,759 but it's not your family there, it's new people there. 281 00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:07,079 But yet it's familiar surroundings. 282 00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:09,879 Yeah, it was very weird, actually. 283 00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:12,479 I didn't know how I'd feel to come back. 284 00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:16,360 And it's weird that I'm on the same bed again and Pete, he was up there. 285 00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:21,480 It was all the same smells, the same noises. 286 00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:28,279 But then when I went to bed at night, 287 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:32,000 I was so used to seeing Pete on the bed, but it wasn't. 288 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,319 It was very confusing and it would bring back 289 00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:54,400 all memories of me and Pete. 290 00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:02,239 'For people looking in, we were this perfect couple. 291 00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:05,360 'But there were things that weren't right as well.' 292 00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:10,400 It's all about communication and we didn't communicate. 293 00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:15,520 But we could have worked through it, we could have done, looking back. 294 00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:20,640 You can't turn back the clock now, it's weird. 295 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:31,519 Katie missed Pete and couldn't put the ghost to rest, 296 00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:37,479 and also felt the judgement of the public much more harshly. 297 00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:40,879 And maybe was much more vulnerable than she ever let slip, 298 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:43,119 and I think that showed and eventually, 299 00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:45,599 she quit rather than got voted out. 300 00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:47,239 Hey! 301 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:49,240 I couldn't do any more! 302 00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:54,159 I was over in Australia. When she came out, they brought me in. 303 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:55,759 Don't be upset! 304 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,679 Where was Alex at this point? 305 00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:01,159 As far as I was aware, Alex was at home watching from TV. 306 00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:05,359 But um, actually he was on a flight before she even left the jungle, 307 00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:07,760 on his way over to propose to her. 308 00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:14,799 I went over to Australia where I'm A Celebrity was being filmed. 309 00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:17,599 We'd flown him out, she didn't know he was coming. 310 00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:21,480 And a story had come out that I'd gone shopping for her wedding ring. 311 00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:25,120 And I was actually looking at rings! 312 00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:30,479 Yeah, I was looking at rings in Dubai. 313 00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:33,799 Cos she kept saying, "I'm up for getting married," and everything. 314 00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:36,520 But it said I was gonna propose to her live on air. 315 00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:40,919 When I come out, I found that he'd come over, 316 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:44,200 doing stories on me, like, how beggy is that? 317 00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:49,519 Propose to me? He can go and fuck himself! 318 00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:51,599 Like, no, thanks. 319 00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:54,160 I didn't even want to see Alex. 320 00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:58,359 She came out on the Ant and Dec interview. 321 00:19:58,360 --> 00:20:01,199 Time to welcome the woman everyone's talking about. 322 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:04,079 Hi, and how pleased am I to be here. 323 00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:07,839 Obviously, we're all as producers going, "Ah, he's about to turn up!" 324 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,879 We've all seen the stories in the papers. 325 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:13,359 Well, I've done a lot of reflecting, I don't want a relationship. 326 00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:16,999 - As of? - I hope we can remain friends, as of I came out.- OK. 327 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:20,560 - So, you and Alex have split now? I'm not with him, no. - OK. 328 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:25,359 You can always guarantee something's gonna happen 329 00:20:25,360 --> 00:20:29,839 when Katie Price is around. Whether it's a romance with Peter Andre 330 00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:33,680 or dumping her wannabe fiance live on air. 331 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:39,159 She's done a great job on me. 332 00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:42,200 I was all over the place. I mean, I loved her. 333 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,639 I was like a lap dog. 334 00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:51,120 I'd just do anything, you know, to be with her. 335 00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:59,439 We got back to the hotel, he was in the foyer 336 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:02,679 and I wanted to die for him. 337 00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:06,519 He was begging her to take him back and you just want to say to Alex, 338 00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:09,479 "Please don't do this, please don't do this, don't do it." 339 00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:16,079 But Kate also, also just wants that love as well. 340 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:19,440 And um, he was offering that. 341 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:24,519 Fucking hell! 342 00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:27,519 I did spend the night with Alex, so... 343 00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:30,000 Oh, you couldn't make it up, could you? 344 00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:34,319 But I was very needy, vulnerable. 345 00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:37,840 He filled the, the void that I was feeling. 346 00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:41,479 Did we get married after that, then? 347 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:47,319 Kate and Alex's wedding is probably one of the most weirdest, 348 00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:49,240 bizarrest days of my life. 349 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:56,759 We got in the A-Team van to get to the church up the road. 350 00:21:56,760 --> 00:21:58,439 Oh, it's filthy! 351 00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:01,040 'Just a sea of people, sea of paps.' 352 00:22:02,360 --> 00:22:04,839 I mean, I've never seen anything like it. 353 00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:08,199 It was an absolute feeding frenzy from the paparazzi. 354 00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:11,720 Over my dead body are any of these guys getting a picture! 355 00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:14,399 Hello, right, they're on their way. 356 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:17,559 She didn't sell the wedding to any magazines. 357 00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:19,759 OK wasn't, didn't have an exclusive. 358 00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:23,560 So, the only people covering that wedding was us, was ITV. 359 00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:28,119 So from the paparazzi's perspective, that made 360 00:22:28,120 --> 00:22:33,400 a picture of Kate in her wedding dress unbelievably valuable. 361 00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:38,199 Swear it's gonna fucking kick off! 362 00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:40,799 Just cover me, cover me. 363 00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:42,799 Please, they can't have a picture. 364 00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:45,839 They're up trees, they're, you know, they were everywhere. 365 00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:50,839 Katie, we've got to do it quickly. I can't, Gary, I can't! 366 00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:53,599 It's not safe. It's not safe, they're there! 367 00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:56,759 It was just absolute carnage trying to break in to the van, 368 00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:58,479 trying to break in to the church. 369 00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:01,920 Gary? Gary?! They've got it, you! 370 00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:06,359 When I compare it to Pete's and my wedding, 371 00:23:06,360 --> 00:23:10,759 it was more professional security and all of that. 372 00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:14,799 I'm not getting out! I'm not getting, they got a picture. 373 00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:17,799 This was like, I think his mates were security or something, 374 00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:20,359 it was just laughable, really. 375 00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:24,199 Katie, let's go. 376 00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:26,079 Go, go! Straight up... 377 00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:28,799 'It was just carnage on a different level.' 378 00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:31,599 Cheap, it was just cheap carnage. 379 00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:34,519 Ow, you...! 380 00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:37,080 Keep your head down. 381 00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:43,880 Really, they were signs, weren't they? Don't fucking do it! 382 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:51,960 But I did like my dress and my veil, I did like that. 383 00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:58,239 We were there, we showed up as supportive friends, 384 00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:00,600 but kind of knowing that it wasn't gonna last. 385 00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:05,599 We have come together in the presence of God... 386 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:10,479 "For better, for worse." Those marriage vows mean something to me. 387 00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:12,559 With my body, I honour you. All that I am... 388 00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:16,479 'I remember clear as day, Kate rolling her eyes.' 389 00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:19,479 And all that I have... And all that I have... 390 00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:21,599 ...I share with you. ...I share with you. 391 00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:24,159 I thought, "It's a bit off!" 392 00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:26,559 I wasn't with her for the money. 393 00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:29,760 But I'm gonna talk about the money cos it is im... It... 394 00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:33,200 There is a money aspect to it. 395 00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:37,359 We were still getting £200,000 from ITV, 396 00:24:37,360 --> 00:24:39,719 cos they were filming the wedding. 397 00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:42,159 For her reality show. For her reality show. 398 00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:46,839 But of that £200,000, I was only getting 20%. 399 00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:48,599 So, I was getting £40,000. 400 00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:51,559 She wanted me to pay 50-50 for the wedding. 401 00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:55,079 But the wedding was costing £200,000. 402 00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:58,679 That would have bankrupted me. I'm like, "Why did I..?" 403 00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:02,840 I've gone along with this but I've like, I kind of fooled myself. 404 00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:07,119 She doesn't really care about this. 405 00:25:07,120 --> 00:25:09,679 This is purely a business transaction. 406 00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:11,799 Thank you. 407 00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:14,200 What was married life like then? 408 00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:22,680 It, it, it didn't, it was, it kind of went downhill from there. 409 00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:26,119 I can't wait to find out what Katie does next. 410 00:25:26,120 --> 00:25:29,479 It is the who and only, Katie Price! 411 00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:33,399 Wow, oh! No, this way, this way, this way. 412 00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:35,560 You look fabulous. Muah! 413 00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:38,759 So, it's all good with Alex? Very good. 414 00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:40,999 And the cross-dressing thing, is that true? 415 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,199 Absolutely true, I've dressed him up myself. 416 00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:46,119 But can I ask, is there a bit of leather involved and a whip? 417 00:25:46,120 --> 00:25:50,079 He's very much into all... Every, you name it, he's into it. 418 00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:52,439 I mean, he's only got one nipple because he had 419 00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:55,159 a clamp on it during sex. Erm... 420 00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:05,640 Talking about having sex with me. Erm, and... 421 00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:09,679 It's just like, whatever you do in the privacy of your own home 422 00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:11,400 should be private. 423 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:18,399 I didn't consider myself a, what do you call it, 424 00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:20,479 a transvestite or a cross-dresser. 425 00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:23,320 I think as any, any young person has experimented... 426 00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:29,039 It wasn't a big thing, but she was like, stirring it on purpose. 427 00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:32,359 Like, adding fuel to the fire on purpose 428 00:26:32,360 --> 00:26:34,360 because it creates headlines. 429 00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:38,399 I became a laughing stock. 430 00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:42,799 This is the thing that's really hurt me. The jibes and the jokes. 431 00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:45,319 I'm in an alpha-male cage fighting world. 432 00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:47,160 She emasculated me. 433 00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:53,799 I'm not gonna deny, when I first met him, it was all exciting. 434 00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:57,119 But I'm telling you now, as soon as he started dressing as the woman 435 00:26:57,120 --> 00:27:00,519 and it got worse and worse, it was the biggest ick. 436 00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:03,760 And I thought, "What the fuck, Kate? Wake up, what are you doing?" 437 00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:10,439 It was a rebound, he didn't bring anything to the table. 438 00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:14,040 He was like another puppy dog, and I toyed with him, really. 439 00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:20,680 You can see what happens, really. 440 00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:26,919 She sort of gets fed up with them, I think. 441 00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:29,719 Katie, on the right! On the right! 442 00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:37,520 It's like a two-year cycle, in a way. 443 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,599 As she falls out of one relationship, she then just 444 00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:44,959 puts the next stride into a new one, 445 00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:48,440 and there's no time for reflection or a bit of me time. 446 00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:51,480 We are engaged! 447 00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:58,199 I've never known Kate to be single. 448 00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:00,760 I, I've never known Kate to ever be on her own. 449 00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:05,199 As a person, not even without a man, she doesn't like being in her house 450 00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:07,720 on her own, she doesn't like being anywhere on her own. 451 00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:17,719 I'd rush, rebound, rebound. 452 00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:21,480 "Yeah, this will work, make it work. Marry him, do this, do that." 453 00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:25,879 I will do it so quick without thinking, 454 00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:28,160 so I was in that lust, honeymoon period. 455 00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:32,760 Not really thinking about what I'm with and who the person really is. 456 00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:39,200 I was just trying to find the same thing what I had with Pete. 457 00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:42,600 That connection. 458 00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:52,240 I wanted my family unit, and be happy ever after. 459 00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:03,319 Did I tell you that I got, 460 00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:05,960 tried to get social services involved with her? 461 00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:08,760 No. Hmm. 462 00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:16,960 This is at the very beginning. 463 00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:19,640 She was 16. 464 00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:24,200 It was the first boyfriend that she had. 465 00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:28,280 She met him at the stables. 466 00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:34,680 He was older than her. 467 00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:40,360 He, he was definitely a wrong one. 468 00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:52,839 She said, "I'm moving in with him." 469 00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:54,919 I couldn't stop her. 470 00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:58,799 So, I rung social services up and I said, "Look, can you help? 471 00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:03,639 "I've tried everything to keep my daughter away from this guy," 472 00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:06,080 and she said, "We can't do nothing about it." 473 00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:10,240 So, she moved in with him. 474 00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:16,159 She used to ring me every now and then, 475 00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:20,279 cos I wanted to keep things going and open with her. 476 00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:23,000 And she says, "Mum, he's very possessive." 477 00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:26,640 I said, "Just leave, take your stuff and leave." 478 00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:32,239 One day, he ripped all her clothes up, 479 00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:36,680 he ripped her boots up, so she had no clothes to wear. 480 00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:43,119 She went along to the end of the road with just a towel round her 481 00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:45,320 and I picked her up and she came home. 482 00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:52,839 He was 25, I was 15. 483 00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:54,840 I was a kid, really. 484 00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:59,720 And I lost my virginity on my 16th birthday to him. 485 00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:08,560 He was on drugs, drank a lot, used to drink-drive a lot, hit me. 486 00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:12,720 Pfft! Made me do things I didn't want to do. 487 00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:18,519 Like, I used to have to look forward, I couldn't look to the left, 488 00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:20,679 to the right, "Are you looking at that man? 489 00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:22,959 "Are you doing this, doing that?" 490 00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:26,240 I was pregnant with him, he kicked me in the belly, lost the baby. 491 00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:35,159 Even talking about it now, cos I've never really sat 492 00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:38,399 and spoke about it, it actually makes sense 493 00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:41,839 why I've gone for them kind of relationships. 494 00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:44,320 Very, very, very unhealthy. 495 00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:47,759 Because that's what I've been used to from young, 496 00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:50,000 being abused by men, young, young. 497 00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:54,160 And my first relationship was abusive. 498 00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:04,639 Subconsciously, it has affected me and I think from then, 499 00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:09,480 all relationships I've had with men have been wrong. 500 00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:16,960 It ends up being toxic, jealousy, unhealthy. 501 00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:36,799 One of my friends texts me, and was like, "Oh, your sister's 502 00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:39,639 "been on a date with this guy called Keiron. I just wanted to 503 00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:43,839 "let you know that he's a, you know, a knob and tell her to stay clear." 504 00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:46,879 And then literally, like, a few weeks later, after five weeks, 505 00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:49,119 they're getting married. Five weeks? 506 00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:50,280 Yeah. 507 00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:01,159 So, originally, Keiron was a, a stripper. 508 00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:03,480 He was a stripper, and, um... 509 00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:09,680 Yeah, he, he was a stripper and that was it. 510 00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:14,759 I, I personally wasn't instilled with, in full confidence. 511 00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:16,600 And it's, yeah. 512 00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:20,560 Now, he proper love-bombed me. 513 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:24,719 He would text me constantly, constantly, 514 00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:28,280 just wouldn't leave me alone, like obsessed, obsessed, obsessed. 515 00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:32,960 He had me on a pedestal, as if I was the best thing. 516 00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:38,439 Very quickly, I was pregnant. 517 00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:40,480 We had two kids together. 518 00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:45,440 I bought a house with stables, it was like my dream home. 519 00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:49,960 It just all seemed so perfect. 520 00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:54,960 I thought I had my family unit back, like I had with Pete. 521 00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:05,000 Keiron, he weren't what he was cracked up to be. 522 00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:09,800 He, he didn't work, I said something ain't right. 523 00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:13,639 Keiron? What? 524 00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:15,800 I said to her, you should not be with him. 525 00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:20,159 Dan at the time was doing all Kate's sort of finances 526 00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:23,039 and managing Kate to, to an extent. 527 00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:27,479 And I think Keiron sort of turned around to Kate and said, 528 00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:30,280 "Look, I'll, I'll do it for you, I'll take it over." 529 00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:37,279 The day that I handed over the logins, the cheque books 530 00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:41,519 and everything else, I knew that that was gonna be a corner 531 00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:44,080 turned in the wrong direction. 532 00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:50,999 I kind of lived and breathed helping Kate, 533 00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:54,319 cos I know she always needs the help. I'd worked really hard 534 00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:56,879 to make sure that she was always in a good place 535 00:34:56,880 --> 00:34:59,719 and everything was sorted and, and I was gutted. 536 00:34:59,720 --> 00:35:01,040 Hmm. 537 00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:07,840 I don't think they spoke for years after that, erm... 538 00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:12,680 She just, yeah, I suppose took Keiron over him. 539 00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:17,159 The four years in which 540 00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:21,879 me and Kate didn't really have close contact were probably 541 00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:24,919 four of the most volatile and toxic 542 00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:26,720 period in her life. 543 00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:30,959 And I found it very, very painful 544 00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:32,880 seeing what she was going through. 545 00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:39,799 I'm on the sidelines, I'm not really in the circle, 546 00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:43,479 and I couldn't offer my help because 547 00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:46,360 our relationship at that time was fractured. 548 00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:50,079 She hid from us then, 549 00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:53,399 and because she doesn't contact us, we know something's wrong. 550 00:35:57,720 --> 00:35:59,719 I'd sort of pushed the family away, 551 00:35:59,720 --> 00:36:02,200 like let Keiron take care of things. 552 00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:05,000 I trusted him. 553 00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:08,199 But I became very vulnerable with Keiron 554 00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:11,799 because I thought it's a new, um... 555 00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:15,479 a family unit, basically. 556 00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:17,399 Can I just have a cup of tea break? 557 00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:19,600 Yeah, time for a break. Fucking hell. 558 00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:32,559 Basically, the whole six years I was with him, 559 00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:34,720 I didn't have him to myself. 560 00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:40,559 He was having multiple relationship with other people. 561 00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:47,240 He started a relationship with one of my best friends of 25 years. 562 00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:51,280 Then he was messaging my other best friend. 563 00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:57,959 I wanted to hate him and hurt him, 564 00:36:57,960 --> 00:36:59,519 but then I didn't want him to go 565 00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:01,560 'cause I loved and I wanted... I wanted him. 566 00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:04,880 He made me feel like I was going mental. 567 00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:10,159 Every room I'd go in, I'd think, "Has he shagged in here, 568 00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:13,519 and I know he's shagged in this one, and I know he's done it on that." 569 00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:15,679 And then I would be picturing him with my friend 570 00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:17,479 and it would make me want more sex with him, 571 00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:18,799 which doesn't make sense. 572 00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:21,079 Why would I want sex with him when he's been doing that? 573 00:37:21,080 --> 00:37:23,679 Then I'd ask him what positions they did it in, 574 00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:25,719 and where they did it, how they did it, 575 00:37:25,720 --> 00:37:28,040 driving myself mad. 576 00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:32,840 I thought I did everything perfect for him. 577 00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:37,760 Everything. It just destroyed me. 578 00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:44,279 Destroyed my self-confidence from what I did have, 579 00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:46,479 destroyed the way I feel I look. 580 00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:53,560 Just opening up here. 581 00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:59,359 The strive to change the way that she looks 582 00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:01,079 comes from the place 583 00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:03,599 where you want to change the way that you feel. 584 00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:06,759 She's trying to fix the way that she feels about herself inside. 585 00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:12,239 This fundamental feeling of not being good enough 586 00:38:12,240 --> 00:38:16,959 or not being attractive enough or skinny enough or talented enough, 587 00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:20,800 is deep down, that's come from years of trauma. 588 00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:26,679 I think she just completely sort of lost herself. 589 00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:30,000 And then it, yeah, it just sort of spiralled, really. 590 00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:37,440 It was not a good time for Mum and it was not a good time for us. 591 00:38:38,720 --> 00:38:41,399 I used to hear them, Mum and Keiron, arguing. 592 00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:43,999 Mum would be out all the time, 593 00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:46,079 there was a lot of drinking involved. 594 00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:48,799 I don't know if she was depressed, I'm sure she was. 595 00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:51,439 When he cheated on her the first time, 596 00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:53,240 that literally broke her. 597 00:38:54,440 --> 00:38:56,479 And he did it worse. 598 00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:06,360 When they fully broke up... 599 00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:12,159 ...that's-that's when she really, really, really spiralled. 600 00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:15,039 ♪ I got Patrick here in front of me 601 00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:17,799 ♪ He's got a hairy chest And a mean belly... ♪ 602 00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:22,719 Kate was very good 603 00:39:22,720 --> 00:39:24,639 at not letting me in 604 00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:26,599 at the dark times. 605 00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:33,599 She didn't want 606 00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:36,119 her closest people seeing her in that way. 607 00:39:44,560 --> 00:39:47,079 We kind of lost touch at that point. 608 00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:50,159 The papers are writing about you left right and centre, 609 00:39:50,160 --> 00:39:53,599 your husband's cheating, they're shagging your best friends. 610 00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:55,919 Imagine what that does to somebody's soul. 611 00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:58,279 Imagine what that does to somebody's spirit. 612 00:39:58,280 --> 00:40:01,079 She was just really fucking lost. 613 00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:25,159 I remember, in the papers, seeing the video about Kate 614 00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:27,879 rapping about drugs, 615 00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:29,759 and... 616 00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:32,159 I remember seeing that, and me and Mum 617 00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:34,239 were on the phone to each other and I just went, 618 00:40:34,240 --> 00:40:35,999 "I don't know what to do, Mum. 619 00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:38,079 I don't know where we're gonna go from here." 620 00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:45,640 Kate said to me... 621 00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:49,519 "I don't do it 622 00:40:49,520 --> 00:40:51,919 to get a high, 623 00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:55,720 I do it 'cause it quietens me down and my brain down." 624 00:40:59,960 --> 00:41:02,560 It was the only thing that blocked everything out. 625 00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:05,519 It's like a voice, 626 00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:07,639 and you know it's there, 627 00:41:07,640 --> 00:41:10,159 and you know that if you take it, 628 00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:12,079 it will take out that pain, 629 00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:14,559 it will take out... any worry, 630 00:41:14,560 --> 00:41:16,759 it will take out the noise. 631 00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:26,479 That's probably the most difficult time of my life, 632 00:41:26,480 --> 00:41:27,960 of our lives, probably. 633 00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:36,639 I felt like I didn't know what was going on, 634 00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:38,959 I didn't really know what to understand, 635 00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:41,759 and I couldn't talk to Mum about it 636 00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:43,839 because she was not... She wasn't there. 637 00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:46,039 She wasn't there. Like, she just... She wasn't there. 638 00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:48,119 - And when she was there, she wasn't there. - Yeah. 639 00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:51,519 And we... was kind of like 640 00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:55,119 the siblings would kind of just look after each other quite a lot. 641 00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:57,159 I remember us just like, you know, 642 00:41:57,160 --> 00:41:58,960 me trying to figure out how to... 643 00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:01,759 If this food is microwavable, 644 00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:04,679 to-to feed us for dinner or whatever. 645 00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:07,320 Not that she didn't feed us, but she was out all the time. 646 00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:12,199 Yeah, she'd give me a blanket 647 00:42:12,200 --> 00:42:14,159 and she sprayed all her perfume on it, 648 00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:16,079 and that was like, that was my... 649 00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:18,799 my attachment to Mum. 650 00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:20,559 So, I remember after school 651 00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:23,759 I used to go home and just feel so like lonely, in a way. 652 00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:26,040 I used to just cuddle to the blanket and just cry. 653 00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:31,679 I remember missing her so much. 654 00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:33,839 I remember this one time in particular 655 00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:37,599 I was in her bed waiting for her to come back 656 00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:39,120 and I woke up... 657 00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:43,879 ...probably three, 3:30am to some loud noises, 658 00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:46,279 and I see her come in the room, 659 00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:49,639 and I'll never forget the look on her face. 660 00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:51,440 Um... 661 00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:56,679 She was obviously on stuff, right? 662 00:42:56,680 --> 00:43:00,559 I could see it in her eyes, and I was... 663 00:43:00,560 --> 00:43:03,479 It scared me 'cause I've never seen my mum look like that. 664 00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:05,839 She's there, but she's not there. 665 00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:09,479 You know, that's when things started reoccurring 666 00:43:09,480 --> 00:43:11,239 and I started seeing the same patterns 667 00:43:11,240 --> 00:43:14,440 and I started seeing her fall down the same hole. 668 00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:19,960 Here we are, on our way to the underwater restaurant. 669 00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:22,999 She wants to please, 670 00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:25,240 she wants to buy people things 671 00:43:26,680 --> 00:43:28,919 We're in the lamb chops today. 672 00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:31,639 She's got an entourage of people that need paying, 673 00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:34,479 and then slowly but surely, 674 00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:36,759 the money starts dwindling. 675 00:43:36,760 --> 00:43:40,279 I'm gonna be selling these, memorabilia, 676 00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:42,599 like my old underwear. 677 00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:44,879 "To Mr George, wet dreams, Jordan." 678 00:43:44,880 --> 00:43:47,039 Wahey! Get in there, sunshine. 679 00:43:47,040 --> 00:43:49,280 Wahey! Get them knickers out for the lads. 680 00:43:52,640 --> 00:43:54,319 She offered, um, at one stage, 681 00:43:54,320 --> 00:43:56,599 you know, said, look I'm getting my boobs done..." 682 00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:58,319 or another facelift or whatever it was, 683 00:43:58,320 --> 00:44:00,239 you know, do you want to cover it exclusively? 684 00:44:00,240 --> 00:44:02,240 And I just said, "No, I don't." 685 00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:06,679 So, as you can see, I only had surgery a few hours ago, 686 00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:08,359 I'm up and walking. 687 00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:11,760 So although it looks bad, I'm OK. 688 00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:15,759 The brand is diminishing. 689 00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:18,999 Once upon a time she was getting a 13 grand kickback. 690 00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:21,479 With paparazzi agencies, 691 00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:23,760 she's probably getting 350 quid nowadays. 692 00:44:24,480 --> 00:44:28,400 I'd be writing cheques out for like 400 and something grand... 693 00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:33,479 ...in tax back in the heyday. It's mental. 694 00:44:33,480 --> 00:44:35,800 Quarter of a million quid for VAT in a quarter. 695 00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:39,119 Frightening numbers. 696 00:44:39,120 --> 00:44:41,920 But, yeah, it kind of just went... 697 00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:49,199 I just couldn't cope. 698 00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:53,280 Bankruptcy, Keiron, cheating, lawyers. 699 00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:56,479 Just ev... every single thing you can think of 700 00:44:56,480 --> 00:44:58,840 was magnified in my head. 701 00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:02,399 Police, courts, this, 702 00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:04,959 that, worry, work, duh, 703 00:45:04,960 --> 00:45:06,720 and then kids. 704 00:45:12,600 --> 00:45:14,559 When she wasn't in the right head space, 705 00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:16,039 she really wasn't, 706 00:45:16,040 --> 00:45:18,079 and she wasn't being a mum. 707 00:45:18,080 --> 00:45:21,279 She wasn't being the mum that I knew 708 00:45:21,280 --> 00:45:23,240 from when I was a little, little boy. 709 00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:30,759 The amount of love she gave me was so immense that... 710 00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:32,960 that's what I miss so much. 711 00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:39,519 Mum was on drugs and she could not look after us, 712 00:45:39,520 --> 00:45:41,519 and that is the reality of it. 713 00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:42,919 She couldn't, 714 00:45:42,920 --> 00:45:46,199 and then I got fed up. 715 00:45:46,200 --> 00:45:48,479 I clocked on that this was 716 00:45:48,480 --> 00:45:51,720 a very unhealthy environment and I needed to get out. 717 00:45:56,600 --> 00:45:58,920 You left, I stayed. 718 00:45:59,680 --> 00:46:01,639 I always wanted to be there for her 719 00:46:01,640 --> 00:46:05,279 and I always wanted to show her that she has me, she has us, 720 00:46:05,280 --> 00:46:08,639 but she didn't understand that at the time because she was so... 721 00:46:08,640 --> 00:46:10,479 hooked up in her own problems. 722 00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:11,759 I did leave. 723 00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:15,480 I think I was about 14, 15. 724 00:46:16,720 --> 00:46:18,759 Thank God that my dad was stable, 725 00:46:18,760 --> 00:46:20,959 because that's the house that I went to 726 00:46:20,960 --> 00:46:23,359 and gained my sanity back. 727 00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:26,759 You know, while I was wishing and hoping that my mum would come back, 728 00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:29,479 you know, and-and turn herself around, 729 00:46:29,480 --> 00:46:31,999 made me feel like I wasn't good enough 730 00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:34,039 because she wasn't fixing herself for me, 731 00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:35,799 she wasn't fixing herself for us. 732 00:46:35,800 --> 00:46:37,439 Are we not good enough for you? 733 00:46:37,440 --> 00:46:39,240 What... Why... Why... 734 00:46:41,160 --> 00:46:43,160 Yeah. Yeah. 735 00:46:50,560 --> 00:46:52,360 You OK? 736 00:46:59,520 --> 00:47:01,639 Sorry. 737 00:47:01,640 --> 00:47:03,399 It's a lot. 738 00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:05,120 It's just more... 739 00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:08,839 ...saying out loud 740 00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:10,840 what you feel, you know? 741 00:47:14,960 --> 00:47:18,679 Harvey was looked after at his school, 742 00:47:18,680 --> 00:47:21,479 but Kate's two youngest kids were with her. 743 00:47:21,480 --> 00:47:23,679 Peter was fighting for his kids, 744 00:47:23,680 --> 00:47:25,599 for Princess and Junior to live with him, 745 00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:28,039 and we used to say to her, you know, 746 00:47:28,040 --> 00:47:30,839 "You're gonna lose the kids if you ain't careful." 747 00:47:30,840 --> 00:47:32,679 Do you still love me? 748 00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:35,039 Yeah. Aw, Price. 749 00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:44,400 When I hear... 750 00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:46,959 ...what the kids... 751 00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:49,279 how they saw it, it breaks my heart. 752 00:47:54,680 --> 00:47:56,679 But they were still always looked after, 753 00:47:56,680 --> 00:47:58,919 I still had people around me looking after them, 754 00:47:58,920 --> 00:48:01,039 like, helping me. 755 00:48:01,040 --> 00:48:03,839 But that's not good enough. Kids need their mum. 756 00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:06,279 Kids need their mum's love, 757 00:48:06,280 --> 00:48:08,559 their mum's hugs. 758 00:48:08,560 --> 00:48:10,159 And I thought I was giving that, 759 00:48:10,160 --> 00:48:12,360 but obviously I wasn't. 760 00:48:15,800 --> 00:48:17,719 It must have been horrible for them, 761 00:48:17,720 --> 00:48:19,119 horrible for them, 762 00:48:19,120 --> 00:48:20,879 and I'm just sorry to them 763 00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:23,360 that I put them through that. 764 00:48:25,320 --> 00:48:29,559 I thought I was doing the best I could with them, 765 00:48:29,560 --> 00:48:32,959 but... what could I have done? 766 00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:34,839 I-I was... I was unwell, 767 00:48:34,840 --> 00:48:37,479 I couldn't even look after myself. 768 00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:39,959 I was rock... more than rock bottom. 769 00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:42,279 I didn't want to be here, I wanted to die. 770 00:48:45,520 --> 00:48:47,159 I felt worthless, 771 00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:50,080 suicidal thoughts all the time. 772 00:48:51,560 --> 00:48:54,039 I used to drive past trees 773 00:48:54,040 --> 00:48:56,600 and think, "Oh, that would be a good tree if I... 774 00:48:57,640 --> 00:48:59,440 ...put a rope on it." 775 00:49:04,280 --> 00:49:07,279 If I know something's on her mind 776 00:49:07,280 --> 00:49:11,279 or she's not dealing with something properly, 777 00:49:11,280 --> 00:49:14,599 it's in them times I worry that I'm going to get a phone call. 778 00:49:14,600 --> 00:49:17,479 So I used to put the phone under my pillow 779 00:49:17,480 --> 00:49:19,359 so I didn't miss the calls. 780 00:49:32,760 --> 00:49:36,039 She was obviously at a very low ebb and... 781 00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:38,359 in a house, a big house, 782 00:49:38,360 --> 00:49:39,879 no kids around. 783 00:49:39,880 --> 00:49:42,479 She-She decided to... 784 00:49:42,480 --> 00:49:44,200 go out for a drive. 785 00:49:48,840 --> 00:49:50,680 I was woken up... 786 00:49:52,040 --> 00:49:54,799 ...by the phone call and this guy, 787 00:49:54,800 --> 00:49:57,959 "I've got your daughter here, she's had a car crash." 788 00:49:57,960 --> 00:50:01,399 I said, "What do you mean she's had a car crash?" 789 00:50:01,400 --> 00:50:03,359 "She's overturned her car, 790 00:50:03,360 --> 00:50:05,239 I've got her out the car, she's here." 791 00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:12,559 He said, "I keep saying to her, 792 00:50:12,560 --> 00:50:14,759 why do you want to commit suicide? 793 00:50:14,760 --> 00:50:17,079 What is it? I can't be here anymore." 794 00:50:21,320 --> 00:50:23,800 And she goes, "Sorry, Mum. I'm sorry." 795 00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:26,640 And, um... 796 00:50:28,640 --> 00:50:30,920 And then the bloke says to her, 797 00:50:31,880 --> 00:50:34,080 "You've got everything to live for." 798 00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:37,840 "No, I wanted to be out of it." 799 00:50:41,360 --> 00:50:44,559 I got a call from mum, really early, 800 00:50:44,560 --> 00:50:46,799 so went down to the hospital 801 00:50:46,800 --> 00:50:49,759 and they were like, "Right, one person's allowed 802 00:50:49,760 --> 00:50:51,760 to go in and see her in the room." 803 00:50:58,520 --> 00:51:00,040 Oh, God. 804 00:51:01,280 --> 00:51:03,479 I just remember going in the room 805 00:51:03,480 --> 00:51:05,839 and she just couldn't look at me. 806 00:51:09,720 --> 00:51:12,119 And she put her hands over her face, 807 00:51:12,120 --> 00:51:13,920 so I couldn't see her face. 808 00:51:16,200 --> 00:51:18,799 When you see the wreckage, I'm amazed that she was able 809 00:51:18,800 --> 00:51:22,919 to even come out of it, if I'm honest with you, yeah. 810 00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:39,200 Was the car crash itself a suicide attempt? 811 00:51:40,200 --> 00:51:42,239 She says it was. 812 00:51:42,240 --> 00:51:44,239 Yeah. 813 00:51:45,560 --> 00:51:48,919 It didn't work, and I'm glad it didn't work. 814 00:51:48,920 --> 00:51:52,759 Um, 'cause then that would have destroyed a lot of people. 815 00:51:57,720 --> 00:51:59,399 She was on drugs, 816 00:51:59,400 --> 00:52:01,399 she'd been drinking, 817 00:52:01,400 --> 00:52:03,639 don't know what speed she must have been doing 818 00:52:03,640 --> 00:52:05,959 or what happened, but she... 819 00:52:05,960 --> 00:52:07,560 Oh, it's dreadful. 820 00:52:08,960 --> 00:52:11,520 Then after that they took her back to the police station. 821 00:52:12,880 --> 00:52:15,560 I remember when they put me in a cell... 822 00:52:17,680 --> 00:52:19,680 ...it was like peace. 823 00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:24,679 And it was on my own, peace and quiet, no-one around me, 824 00:52:24,680 --> 00:52:26,519 so I found that quite comforting. 825 00:52:26,520 --> 00:52:28,839 It's quite sad to think that, but... 826 00:52:28,840 --> 00:52:30,880 I sort of felt safe in there. 827 00:52:32,160 --> 00:52:35,240 At that time, it's difficult to see a way out of it. 828 00:52:37,320 --> 00:52:40,880 So all we could do is ride it, really, with her. 829 00:52:45,880 --> 00:52:48,079 I thought she'd end up in prison, 830 00:52:48,080 --> 00:52:50,999 when we went to court, but, uh... 831 00:52:51,000 --> 00:52:53,000 no, she didn't. 832 00:52:57,160 --> 00:52:59,560 After the court, we had to go straight to rehab. 833 00:53:02,160 --> 00:53:05,200 We knew we had to do something, otherwise we'd lose her. 834 00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:10,159 I was... I was just relieved 835 00:53:10,160 --> 00:53:12,479 that she was still here, to say the least. 836 00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:14,319 You know, 837 00:53:14,320 --> 00:53:16,920 trying to end your life and not... 838 00:53:17,760 --> 00:53:19,520 ...being able to... 839 00:53:21,440 --> 00:53:25,000 ...must wake you up, and I think it did. 840 00:53:27,760 --> 00:53:30,599 All I know is going in the Priory... 841 00:53:30,600 --> 00:53:32,400 saved me. 842 00:53:33,400 --> 00:53:34,880 Yeah. 843 00:53:35,760 --> 00:53:37,239 Shit times, aye. 844 00:53:40,320 --> 00:53:42,039 They start off with your childhood, 845 00:53:42,040 --> 00:53:43,959 you know, where they say "Sit on a chair, 846 00:53:43,960 --> 00:53:46,160 and what would you say to your younger self?" 847 00:53:47,160 --> 00:53:48,639 When you talk about things, 848 00:53:48,640 --> 00:53:50,879 you're putting it out, 849 00:53:50,880 --> 00:53:53,719 whereas before I'd keep everything in. 850 00:53:53,720 --> 00:53:57,040 All the things that happened to me as a young girl... 851 00:53:58,200 --> 00:54:00,479 ...my dad being absent, 852 00:54:00,480 --> 00:54:03,279 the abuse I've had from men, 853 00:54:03,280 --> 00:54:06,719 and you talk about how the depression made you feel, 854 00:54:06,720 --> 00:54:07,919 what it made you do, 855 00:54:07,920 --> 00:54:10,120 and mine was it made me do coke. 856 00:54:15,600 --> 00:54:17,400 She went for six weeks. 857 00:54:18,680 --> 00:54:20,359 They do really well with her. 858 00:54:20,360 --> 00:54:22,560 From then she realised that... 859 00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:25,400 ...we were gonna help her... 860 00:54:26,200 --> 00:54:28,120 ...as much as we could. 861 00:54:29,320 --> 00:54:31,239 When she came home, 862 00:54:31,240 --> 00:54:34,679 we had to really step up to the plate and be 863 00:54:34,680 --> 00:54:36,199 the... the cotton wool 864 00:54:36,200 --> 00:54:39,079 as a family to... 865 00:54:39,080 --> 00:54:42,680 pick up pieces and try and glue Kate back together again. 866 00:54:43,680 --> 00:54:47,159 She kept going to the Priory on a weekly basis 867 00:54:47,160 --> 00:54:49,999 and we've been so glad she's been 868 00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:52,319 diagnosed with ADHD, 869 00:54:52,320 --> 00:54:55,959 'cause that explains a lot of her behaviour in the past. 870 00:54:55,960 --> 00:54:58,919 It's very hard to explain me 871 00:54:58,920 --> 00:55:00,920 and what goes on in my head. 872 00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:05,319 Like, when I look at... 873 00:55:05,320 --> 00:55:06,999 the past, 874 00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:08,840 how I react to things. 875 00:55:09,840 --> 00:55:12,279 I recognise that... 876 00:55:12,280 --> 00:55:15,679 my thought process and the way I do things was definitely 877 00:55:15,680 --> 00:55:18,519 different to anyone else. 878 00:55:18,520 --> 00:55:20,839 The scattiness, the impulsiveness, 879 00:55:20,840 --> 00:55:22,640 the this, the that. 880 00:55:27,640 --> 00:55:30,359 She could get swept away with things, 881 00:55:30,360 --> 00:55:33,679 but she knows how to manage herself now. 882 00:55:33,680 --> 00:55:38,159 Which is a relief for all of us, you know. 883 00:55:38,160 --> 00:55:40,239 Do you think that diagnosis has helped? 884 00:55:40,240 --> 00:55:42,639 I do. I think it's helped in the sense... 885 00:55:42,640 --> 00:55:46,319 Right, she knows how her brain works 886 00:55:46,320 --> 00:55:48,839 and it's helped the family in the sense of 887 00:55:48,840 --> 00:55:52,159 OK, you can sort of almost predict 888 00:55:52,160 --> 00:55:54,999 her next steps, to an extent. 889 00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:57,319 When I got my diagnosis, 890 00:55:57,320 --> 00:56:00,399 it was more just to keep my family happy. 891 00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:02,639 Oh. It wasn't for me, I... 892 00:56:02,640 --> 00:56:05,839 I know I'm different anyway, I know I'm... 893 00:56:05,840 --> 00:56:08,199 off the spectrum, off the key, whatever. 894 00:56:08,200 --> 00:56:10,719 It's not hard to work that out. 895 00:56:10,720 --> 00:56:12,999 But now they know that, that's still not enough, 896 00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:16,079 'cause now they're still like, "Why are you like this?" 897 00:56:16,080 --> 00:56:17,719 Mum, you've been told! 898 00:56:17,720 --> 00:56:21,119 You've been told my brain is wired different. 899 00:56:21,120 --> 00:56:23,039 That is why. 900 00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:30,719 She helped herself 901 00:56:30,720 --> 00:56:34,279 by getting off the drugs and... 902 00:56:34,280 --> 00:56:35,879 being a mum again. 903 00:56:35,880 --> 00:56:38,119 I feel the duty to care for her. 904 00:56:38,120 --> 00:56:41,799 She's, like, such a special gem to me, do you know what I mean? 905 00:56:41,800 --> 00:56:44,200 Because she's my mum and I've only got one. 906 00:56:47,080 --> 00:56:50,479 I think she's massively, massively 907 00:56:50,480 --> 00:56:53,400 improved on her mental health. 908 00:56:55,160 --> 00:56:56,879 I feel the love from her again. 909 00:56:56,880 --> 00:56:59,119 Like, when I go round her house, 910 00:56:59,120 --> 00:57:01,719 I just sit there and I cuddle her on the sofa and it's like... 911 00:57:01,720 --> 00:57:04,719 that's the bond we've always needed to have. 912 00:57:04,720 --> 00:57:08,039 - Yeah, it feels like I've got my mum back now. - Yeah. 913 00:57:08,040 --> 00:57:10,599 We know that she's crazy, and she knows that, 914 00:57:10,600 --> 00:57:13,679 but we love her for it. 915 00:57:13,680 --> 00:57:15,360 And we'll always be there for her. 916 00:57:17,640 --> 00:57:21,039 They supported me, helped me through it, 917 00:57:21,040 --> 00:57:23,040 they never gave up on me. 918 00:57:24,160 --> 00:57:26,199 Daniel helped, 919 00:57:26,200 --> 00:57:27,759 started taking over, 920 00:57:27,760 --> 00:57:30,239 looking at her finances. 921 00:57:30,240 --> 00:57:32,319 Sophie... 922 00:57:32,320 --> 00:57:34,439 ...was in contact with her every day, 923 00:57:34,440 --> 00:57:37,240 keeping an eye on her, visiting her. 924 00:57:38,440 --> 00:57:40,879 And Sophie manages her now, is that right? 925 00:57:40,880 --> 00:57:42,639 Yeah. 926 00:57:42,640 --> 00:57:45,079 I don't know how. 927 00:57:45,080 --> 00:57:48,679 Right, we don't call it, we don't say we manage her, 928 00:57:48,680 --> 00:57:51,079 because I think that gives her a little trigger, 929 00:57:51,080 --> 00:57:53,639 so we just "support her" 930 00:57:53,640 --> 00:57:56,479 with day to day work. 931 00:57:56,480 --> 00:57:58,959 If she needs a bit of advice we give it to her. 932 00:57:58,960 --> 00:58:02,399 But it is kind of... But it is kind of managing, yeah. 933 00:58:02,400 --> 00:58:03,519 Like that? 934 00:58:05,240 --> 00:58:07,319 Sophie got her back working, 935 00:58:07,320 --> 00:58:08,959 got her back on her good feet. 936 00:58:08,960 --> 00:58:11,519 - Are we ready? - Yeah.- Cool. 937 00:58:11,520 --> 00:58:14,039 I love being in front of the camera even nowadays. 938 00:58:14,040 --> 00:58:15,959 I get in my little positions, 939 00:58:15,960 --> 00:58:18,079 all like this, oh! 940 00:58:18,080 --> 00:58:20,519 And then I'm sort of all like this with my hair 941 00:58:20,520 --> 00:58:22,559 and then I give it all that. 942 00:58:22,560 --> 00:58:24,720 That's nice. Oh, that's nice. 943 00:58:25,960 --> 00:58:28,119 I just love it. It's me. 944 00:58:28,120 --> 00:58:31,120 I will keep going and doing them poses until... 945 00:58:32,120 --> 00:58:34,000 ...the day I die. 946 00:58:34,800 --> 00:58:36,319 She's better now. 947 00:58:36,320 --> 00:58:37,879 Smile. 948 00:58:37,880 --> 00:58:41,799 And it makes all our lives a lot easier when Kate's happier. 949 00:58:41,800 --> 00:58:44,559 I have now joined Only Fans. 950 00:58:44,560 --> 00:58:47,279 I mean, don't get me wrong, there's been blips, 951 00:58:47,280 --> 00:58:48,479 there's been blips. 952 00:58:48,480 --> 00:58:51,199 Are you in denial, Katie? 953 00:58:51,200 --> 00:58:52,519 She's hard work. 954 00:58:52,520 --> 00:58:54,879 Hello, everyone. I said, hello everyone. 955 00:58:54,880 --> 00:58:57,439 Anything can come at you, basically. 956 00:58:57,440 --> 00:58:59,599 It's like, "Right, what are we dealing with today? 957 00:58:59,600 --> 00:59:00,839 Is today gonna be a good day?" 958 00:59:00,840 --> 00:59:03,159 I'm feeling horny. 959 00:59:04,400 --> 00:59:09,319 I just think she makes decisions that are so... out there 960 00:59:09,320 --> 00:59:11,519 that in her eyes, they're relatively normal. 961 00:59:11,520 --> 00:59:12,879 But to me, I'm thinking, 962 00:59:12,880 --> 00:59:15,159 "Why the fuck are you doing that? 963 00:59:15,160 --> 00:59:18,799 Obviously everyone has their thoughts on everything, 964 00:59:18,800 --> 00:59:21,399 but ay the end of the day, I am married to Lee, 965 00:59:21,400 --> 00:59:23,119 he is my husband, and I'm just 966 00:59:23,120 --> 00:59:24,919 really, really, really, really worried. 967 00:59:24,920 --> 00:59:27,159 I just hope he hasn't been kidnapped, 968 00:59:27,160 --> 00:59:28,959 and if he has been arrested, 969 00:59:28,960 --> 00:59:32,199 I just want to know he's all right and what he's been arrested for. 970 00:59:35,360 --> 00:59:37,480 Mum... Mum can't be alone. 971 00:59:38,440 --> 00:59:40,880 Wallis. I feel like... 972 00:59:41,800 --> 00:59:43,520 ...she's scared to be alone. 973 00:59:46,360 --> 00:59:48,200 Yes. 974 00:59:49,040 --> 00:59:50,600 Yes. 975 00:59:51,400 --> 00:59:53,599 Because I feel like if she's alone 976 00:59:53,600 --> 00:59:55,839 she doesn't have anyone to turn to, 977 00:59:55,840 --> 00:59:58,719 apart from herself, and she probably wants to escape 978 00:59:58,720 --> 01:00:01,080 some thoughts that she has or some feelings that she has. 979 01:00:04,480 --> 01:00:07,919 The partner fills in all the... 980 01:00:07,920 --> 01:00:09,799 all the quietness, all the emptiness. 981 01:00:09,800 --> 01:00:13,279 But she keeps getting hurt 982 01:00:13,280 --> 01:00:16,080 and broken because these partners are no good for her. 983 01:00:20,520 --> 01:00:23,159 And I... I wish for her 984 01:00:23,160 --> 01:00:25,959 that she finds more comfortability 985 01:00:25,960 --> 01:00:27,720 within herself. 986 01:00:28,600 --> 01:00:30,759 I really, really 987 01:00:30,760 --> 01:00:33,639 want her to start enjoying her own company more. 988 01:00:33,640 --> 01:00:36,680 I really, really do. I think you've actually nailed that. 989 01:00:41,720 --> 01:00:45,439 My family, they're just worried 'cause they're so scarred 990 01:00:45,440 --> 01:00:47,239 by how bad I was, 991 01:00:47,240 --> 01:00:49,199 they don't want me to spiral. 992 01:00:55,880 --> 01:00:59,559 They love and care for me so much, 993 01:00:59,560 --> 01:01:01,439 but they have to remember, 994 01:01:01,440 --> 01:01:04,520 this is the best version I've ever been in my life. 995 01:01:14,880 --> 01:01:16,400 Hmm. 996 01:01:21,880 --> 01:01:23,440 Um... 997 01:01:24,440 --> 01:01:27,319 In some ways... 998 01:01:27,320 --> 01:01:30,319 ...God, she's still like a child, 999 01:01:30,320 --> 01:01:33,080 but, um... 1000 01:01:35,360 --> 01:01:37,440 ...she's just a good daughter. 1001 01:01:38,800 --> 01:01:40,959 But what are you having for Christmas? 1002 01:01:40,960 --> 01:01:42,800 I want a horse. 1003 01:01:44,000 --> 01:01:47,479 I just want to tell her, "Mum, just stop worrying about things. 1004 01:01:47,480 --> 01:01:51,199 Come on, you've got to have one child that's not normal, 1005 01:01:51,200 --> 01:01:53,840 and that's me." That's all I ever say to her. 1006 01:01:56,440 --> 01:01:58,999 Black sheep. Yes! 1007 01:01:59,000 --> 01:02:03,159 This is it. I'm the not normal child that you've got. 1008 01:02:03,160 --> 01:02:05,319 Get used to it. 1009 01:02:05,320 --> 01:02:09,919 You've had 47 years of me being like it, stop. 1010 01:02:09,920 --> 01:02:12,079 I love the fact that you've 1011 01:02:12,080 --> 01:02:14,039 walked the walk with her every step of the way. 1012 01:02:14,040 --> 01:02:16,680 Even when you've disapproved of her choices... 1013 01:02:17,880 --> 01:02:21,080 ...you've stayed by her side throughout. 1014 01:02:23,040 --> 01:02:25,239 Literally, you've been by her side. 1015 01:02:25,240 --> 01:02:28,119 That's what happens when you're a mum though, doesn't it? 1016 01:02:28,120 --> 01:02:30,440 I don't think it happens with everyone. 1017 01:02:31,720 --> 01:02:33,999 I bet it... I bet it would with your mum, wouldn't it? 1018 01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:36,359 Would it? Maybe. 1019 01:02:36,360 --> 01:02:39,479 There you go. And what about your mum? 1020 01:02:39,480 --> 01:02:41,999 I'd hope so, yeah. 1021 01:02:42,000 --> 01:02:45,360 Mmm. I just think it's normal. 1022 01:02:47,520 --> 01:02:49,520 And what do you hope for Kate? 1023 01:02:51,400 --> 01:02:53,399 Peace. 1024 01:02:53,400 --> 01:02:54,960 Inside. 1025 01:02:56,240 --> 01:02:59,640 That she really does find someone... 1026 01:03:00,880 --> 01:03:04,440 ...to love and be happy. 1027 01:03:12,760 --> 01:03:14,639 Get off! 1028 01:03:14,640 --> 01:03:16,520 ♪ MEREDITH BROOKS: Bitch ♪ 1029 01:03:24,040 --> 01:03:26,679 Hello? You all right? 1030 01:03:26,680 --> 01:03:29,399 I was just... We was talking about you. 1031 01:03:29,400 --> 01:03:31,479 Oh, yeah? Go on. 1032 01:03:31,480 --> 01:03:33,559 How much I love my mother, 1033 01:03:33,560 --> 01:03:35,199 how strong you are, 1034 01:03:35,200 --> 01:03:37,359 how supportive you are. 1035 01:03:37,360 --> 01:03:40,839 Well, if you think that much of me and that, right, 1036 01:03:40,840 --> 01:03:43,959 you'll listen when I say to you 1037 01:03:43,960 --> 01:03:45,759 stop vaping. 1038 01:03:45,760 --> 01:03:48,719 Oh, it's the vape today! 1039 01:03:48,720 --> 01:03:51,919 Yeah. And... Oh, yeah. 1040 01:03:51,920 --> 01:03:54,559 Your bloody lips. 1041 01:03:54,560 --> 01:03:56,799 Awful. Why? 1042 01:03:56,800 --> 01:03:58,279 Anything else? 1043 01:03:58,280 --> 01:04:00,719 ♪ I'm a bitch, I'm a lover 1044 01:04:00,720 --> 01:04:03,239 ♪ I'm a child, I'm a mother 1045 01:04:03,240 --> 01:04:05,719 ♪ I'm a sinner, I'm a saint 1046 01:04:05,720 --> 01:04:08,159 ♪ I do not feel ashamed 1047 01:04:08,160 --> 01:04:10,799 ♪ I'm your Hell, I'm your dream 1048 01:04:10,800 --> 01:04:12,959 ♪ I'm nothing in between 1049 01:04:12,960 --> 01:04:15,039 ♪ You know you wouldn't want it 1050 01:04:15,040 --> 01:04:17,599 ♪ Any other way. ♪ 1051 01:04:17,600 --> 01:04:20,600 Subtitles by Sky Access Services www.skyaccessibility.sky