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The following programme contains
distressing scenes.

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This programme also contains themes
of suicide.

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CREW:Scene one, take two,
audio track three.

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I'm gonna get comfortable
cos I don't know what we're

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talking about, but I'm
gonna take my socks off.

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DIRECTOR:Get your dogs out.
My Cinderella feet,

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waiting for someone to put
the golden slippers on 'em.

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That's what I need.

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Are there any frogs
out there for me I can kiss

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and be a real prince, please?

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What sort of fella
would you want now?

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Right, do you want to know the truth?
Yeah.

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What kind of man I'd manifest for.
Right.

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Someone older.
Yeah.

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But they've still got to be fit.
Yeah, right.

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I normally go for, like,
late '20s, early '30s.

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Yeah, you've got...
I think I'm done with that now.

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Someone who can treat me,
someone who doesn't have to be

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in and out my pockets all the time.

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Someone supportive, someone
who understands my job,

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someone who wants to be private,
who doesn't want to be famous,

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just know for me,
not about everything else.

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I won't settle for anything
less of what I want in a man

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because I'm not doing it any more,
I'm not doing it to myself.

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I'm not doing it to the kids,
or my family

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cos they're sick of it,
it's not fair on them.

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- WOMAN 1:
- She justannounced that she got engagedto a random man in Dubai.

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- WOMAN 2:
- Businessman, entrepreneur Lee Andrews.

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INTERVIEWER:She got
married with no family,

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just two days after the engagement.
Damn!

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KATIE: Look at that, you've
absolutely spoiled me.

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Oof!

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Um, it's left her family totally and
utterly baffled.

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And...

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What's she... I said to Am,
what she going to Dubai for?

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"See a bloke". I said I, I...

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What, what's it, and then we
find out you're getting married.

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You're off your head! And then,
the geezer in the paper

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pretending he's a millionaire.

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DIRECTOR:Are you cross with her?
Oh, 100%.

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This is the most
silliest, stupidest thing.

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PRINCESS:What?

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Marrying a guy that
we don't even know.

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I, I've... Well,
this just sums it up.

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This is my mum,
this is what she does.

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Yeah.

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Me, Dan and Sophie, we go, "Why?"

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Why, why, why, it's always...
(SIGHS)

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DIRECTOR:You've said
that word a lot, have you?

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Yeah. All the time.

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I really would like to
get to the bottom of her.

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I'm walking around, I'm in my
dressing room, I'm upstairs,

53
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I'm like, "What shall I do?
I'm bored!"

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I need the kids to come home.

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'About a month after me and Pete
split, I was in my big house.'

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I didn't just split up
with Pete, everyone had gone.

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Claire, Pete, my management team.

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One minute, we're all like family
and the next thing it's gone, gone.

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There's no Mum, Dad and your
kids together, it's separate.

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Hello!

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'Harvey, I don't think he understood.

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'Princess was only a year and a half
and Junior, was what, three or four.

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'They didn't understand
and they wanted me.

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'But I had to share them with Pete.'

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I would never stop the kids
seeing their dads anyway

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because I'm not that kind of person.

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'My dad wasn't around growing up,

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'and I would never want
that to happen to my kids.'

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But in a way, it happened
so young that I don't think

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it would have affected them.

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But then, saying that,
everything stems from

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your childhood, doesn't it?

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MAN:Pete?

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Get in there, dude!

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I don't want anyone inside
the driveway, you hear me?

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No-one.

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That is your corner mate, stay back.
OK, cool. No worries.

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AMY:It wasn't just
a simple break away.

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We had to sort of start organising
when Pete's gonna have the children,

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when she's gonna have the children.

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I think it worked one week
there, one week there, whatever.

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She was, she was
devastated, you know.

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Kiss, bye-bye. Right.

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I'm going home.

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See... She's had her baby.

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No.

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DIRECTOR:It's hard.
It is hard, yeah. It was hard.

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See you tomorrow!
PRINCESS:Bye, Mummy.

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She's never liked being on her own.

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That's when she's
most vulnerable, I think.

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KATIE: I was lonely.

92
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And that's why doing the filming
was a good thing for me,

93
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it was like a security that I've got
the support and someone's with me.

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I contacted ITV and said, "I want
to continue with the reality show,

95
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"let's just do it right now,
let's just start."

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What Katie Did Next,
it was different, felt free.

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This is the fresh me,
the new chapter.

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It was all mine,
not being controlled

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and I chose the film crew.

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(BACKGROUND CHATTER)

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The first time I met Kate.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, I'm...

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I remember walking in
to the house, and uh...

103
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She's very sort of forthcoming
when you sort of meet her.

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She will sort of say things,
"Oh! Hello, Ben!" Like...

105
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"Oh, did you have pictures of me
on your wall when you were younger?"

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It was all, it was
sort of things like that.

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But to be honest, it puts
you at ease straight away.

108
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You had to kind of get
in line with it, otherwise,

109
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it would be a very
uncomfortable few weeks.

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I split with Pete,
we're going through a divorce,

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so welcome to my journey
of independent woman, whoo!

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I think we were filling
a void at that time.

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Quite often, we'd get to
the end of the filming day

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and she'd say to us, "Do you want
to stay for a curry?" Or you know,

115
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"Do you want to stay overnight,
you can sleep in the spare bedroom?"

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You did get this sense
that she wanted us there.

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So, half past four and
I'm thinking everyone's

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gonna be gone in a minute
and what do I do?

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Kids will be home.

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Suppose I could go in
the swimming pool with them.

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DIRECTOR:Have you
got memories of that?

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I think I've only got two memories

123
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of seeing my mum and dad
together in person.

124
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Yeah, I don't actually ever
remember them being together.

125
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I just always remember
being at Dad's, then Mum's.

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Hey, kids?!

127
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It was actually really fun for us
growing up in separate households.

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Mum is a very fun mum.

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Beep, beep!
'Very loving in her own way.'

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Did you miss Mummy? Did you?!

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There weren't really many rules.
Just imagine, you know,

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kids just running
around, high on sugar.

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It's like a mad house!

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(WAILS)

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We never did anything to,
like, really cross boundaries

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but Mum didn't really have
any boundaries anyway to cross.

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(SHOUTING)
Quick! Junior?

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- You're gonna go to Daddy's.
Do you want to see Daddy?
- Yeah.

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JUNIOR:With our Dad, we've
got rules, we've got a bedtime,

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it was more routined,
which I'm very thankful for,

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because it, it
actually kept our sanity!

142
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Yeah, you never
have a boring with her.

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There's always something
going on in her life.

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ALL:Katie! Katie! Katie!

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(ALL SCREAMING)

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KATIE: We're sharing the kids,
I've got time on my hands.

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Just cos I've split with Pete,
I'm not gonna sit at home on my own

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dwelling, thinking about it.
Just get on with work, keep busy.

149
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I was still massive, like, in demand.

150
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It was quite amazing really, after
all the bad press that she got,

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people still bought in to her
and she was still successful.

152
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She was probably at
the height of her fame,

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and the height of her wealth as
well. She was reported to be worth

154
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40 million or something,
she's got a few quid in the bank.

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(PEOPLE SHOUTING, CAMERAS CLICKING)

156
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She was big business,
obscene amounts of money.

157
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But she had no management.
Yeah, it was just messy.

158
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It just needed
straightening up a bit.

159
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I think if you put more in it,
you get more out of it.

160
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'So, I kind of decided to set up
Black Sheep Management.'

161
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I think he called it
Black Sheep cos I'm like

162
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the black sheep of the family,
the odd one.

163
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I also did the finances so I
made sure that invoices were sent,

164
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invoices were paid.

165
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The accountants, the lawyer,
the divorce lawyer, make-up,

166
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equestrian, horse fees.

167
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Hello! He's such a good boy.
(HORSE SMACKS LIPS)

168
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We'd have difficult conversations,
sometimes we'd have fall-outs

169
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because she needs help with control.

170
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DIRECTOR:Are you good with money?

171
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Do you know, it's not
that I'm not good with money,

172
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it's I just have a lot of expenses.

173
00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:04,159
And what can I say?
You know, having horses,

174
00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:08,079
horses isn't a cheap hobby.
You know, having dogs and cats,

175
00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:13,199
chickens, sheep, gardens,
you need gardeners, this, that.

176
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I'm not gonna sit on a tractor,
am I? And mow my bloody grass.

177
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(CLICKS TONGUE)

178
00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:22,999
All we tried to do is just have a
little bit of structure

179
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in her world,
cos it was so chaotic.

180
00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:28,560
(CAMERAS CLICKING, CHATTER)

181
00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:36,079
At that time, Kate's a bit lost.

182
00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:38,239
She's just gone through a break-up

183
00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:40,639
and some people
deal with it differently.

184
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:44,639
Some people hide away,
some people go out

185
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and come to my 30th birthday party
and meet Alex Reid! (LAUGHS)

186
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:53,479
Right, let's go, baby!

187
00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:55,600
CREW:Take one, audio track three.

188
00:10:57,560 --> 00:10:59,719
Can I go and do
a few more bicep curls?

189
00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:01,120
(CHUCKLES)

190
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:07,799
Hey, Michelle! Whoo-hoo!

191
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:10,199
MICHELLE:It happened to be
my 30th birthday party.

192
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:12,119
Look at you, baby!

193
00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:15,519
All of our friends were there and
we were saying to Kate, you know,

194
00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:17,439
"Maybe just come out,
let your hair down."

195
00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:18,959
You look gorgeous!

196
00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:22,280
Michelle Heaton and me
go back so many years.

197
00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:25,719
She was the pop star,
I was the model,

198
00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:28,439
we was a good little duo
when we went out.

199
00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:32,359
This particular night,
I remember wearing a little tutu -

200
00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:35,200
I was in to tutus then,
like a little corset tops.

201
00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:37,999
DIRECTOR:So, you're looking hot?

202
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,759
So I was looking hot, I was
looking fucking hot actually.

203
00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:42,239
Let's go!

204
00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:44,399
'Alex walks in and had this aura.'

205
00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:47,799
You know, the broken nose look
and I was like, "Phwoar, yeah!"

206
00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:52,159
He was like a walking weapon,
he was a perfect rebound.

207
00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:54,320
Absolutely perfect rebound.

208
00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:59,000
I was known as "The Reidinator".

209
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:05,039
Alex "The Reidinator" Reid!

210
00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:06,799
(CROWD CHEERING)

211
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:10,400
In the fighting world,
my character was "never say die".

212
00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:13,839
A bit like Rocky,
kept, keep getting up.

213
00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:16,559
People saying he's like a robot,
he's like a machine.

214
00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:18,999
In fact, he's like the Terminator.
And my trainer said,

215
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:22,799
"He's not the Terminator, he's
the Reidinator," and it just stuck.

216
00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:25,680
- What's your name?
How you doing?
- How are you?

217
00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:30,320
'Kate was extremely attractive and
I was extremely attracted to her.

218
00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:34,840
'There was clearly a chemistry.

219
00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:38,520
'We couldn't keep our
hands off each other.'

220
00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:46,479
The next day after the party,
me and my husband were downstairs

221
00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:50,279
in the, erm, in the kitchen,
having breakfast.

222
00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:53,720
And Alex walks down
and he's, he's butt naked.

223
00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:57,120
Pretty, I mean, he's butt naked!

224
00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:03,839
It was fantastic.
Oh, yeah, it was very fantastic!

225
00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:05,959
(LAUGHS)

226
00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:07,479
I thought she was fun.

227
00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:09,959
They had a great... I heard the fun.
DIRECTOR:What?

228
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:11,759
I heard the fun!
What do you mean?

229
00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:14,360
Upstairs! They were
having a wild time.

230
00:13:15,680 --> 00:13:18,200
Not my, not my cup of tea, you know?

231
00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:21,239
My goodness!

232
00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:24,399
KATIE: The sexual attraction
was like off the scale.

233
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:26,759
It's like, sure,
you could just feel it.

234
00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:30,440
And I rushed things, I did.
Without thinking.

235
00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:34,600
I just wanted to see more
and more of him, and he did me too.

236
00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:39,160
It was, it was beautiful.
I felt like we clicked.

237
00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:42,560
You know. Mind and body.

238
00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:49,879
MICHELLE:Kate's a sucker for love.
When she likes somebody,

239
00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:53,960
it's a relationship.
Everything in, all on the table.

240
00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:58,119
BEN:It was very quick. All of
a sudden, he's living in her house

241
00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:00,280
in Surrey. They're together, 24/7.

242
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:06,439
I was introduced to Harvey,
Princess and Junior

243
00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:08,599
pretty much straight away.

244
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:10,079
Oh, good job!

245
00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:14,159
'We went to a local park,
that was all papped.

246
00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:18,079
'It was deliberately set up, though
I didn't realise at the time,'

247
00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:21,240
knowing that's gonna
get massive headlines.

248
00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:24,240
(CAMERA CLICKS)

249
00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:31,039
We went to the park and set up pap
pictures with the kids and stuff.

250
00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:33,239
DIRECTOR:You set those up
at that point, yeah?

251
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:34,879
I set all them up, yeah.

252
00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:39,599
It was a hot day and he just
took his top off, playing football,

253
00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:41,319
that's all it was.

254
00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:43,959
Of course, I got press over it
cos it was the first man

255
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:48,280
I was with after Pete, so of course,
it's like scandal and this and that.

256
00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:55,479
Yeah, and I probably did go with him
to try and make Pete jealous.

257
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:57,040
Yeah, of course.

258
00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:00,919
CLEMMIE MOODIE:The optics,
as people say, weren't great.

259
00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:03,319
You know, this
was definitely the narrative,

260
00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:05,759
how hurt Peter was
by seeing the new man,

261
00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:10,400
a complete stranger relatively,
you know, playing with his children.

262
00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:14,640
And Kate was the pantomime
villain, in this case.

263
00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:20,759
We pulled back a bit,
because our readers

264
00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:24,640
were very Team Pete, very much so.

265
00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:30,240
People weren't buying Kate
and Alex's relationship.

266
00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:34,320
I think they wanted her
to be heartbroken for years.

267
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:40,240
And that relationship is,
for our readers, not aspirational.

268
00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:47,320
I was getting battered from
every, every side of the coin.

269
00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:52,280
I can't win, whatever I do.

270
00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:58,159
Going in the jungle, it was a way of,
again, like the first time,

271
00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:01,320
show that I'm not this
person they're writing about.

272
00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:09,439
When Katie went back in 2009,
people are still fascinated by her.

273
00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:11,279
Oh, my bloody nails!

274
00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:14,319
Katie helped put
I'm A Celebrity on the map,

275
00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:17,599
she always delivers. In TV wise,

276
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:20,559
she's always fascinating to watch.

277
00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:23,919
But I think that
judgement was there.

278
00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:29,559
And on I'm A Celebrity, it's
hard to play the same trick twice.

279
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:33,439
I'm just saying that we're not all
big fans of Katie Price, that's all.

280
00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:36,040
And what have you got
against her, personally?

281
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:39,080
Well, if you must know...

282
00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:42,279
Oh, for goodness sakes!

283
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:44,239
Hi!
OTHERS:Hello!

284
00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:48,479
It was just very confusing
because this time in the jungle,

285
00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:50,239
it was very different.

286
00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:52,399
How are you?
How are you? You all right?

287
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:54,640
I'm Kate, nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you...

288
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:58,400
I just remember walking in,
it was like...

289
00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:02,119
If you went back to an
old house you used to live in,

290
00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:04,759
but it's not your family there,
it's new people there.

291
00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:07,079
But yet it's familiar surroundings.

292
00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:09,879
Yeah, it was very weird, actually.

293
00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:12,479
I didn't know how
I'd feel to come back.

294
00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:16,360
And it's weird that I'm on the same
bed again and Pete, he was up there.

295
00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:21,480
It was all the same
smells, the same noises.

296
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:24,600
(BIRD CALLING)

297
00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:28,279
But then when I went to bed at night,

298
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:32,000
I was so used to seeing
Pete on the bed, but it wasn't.

299
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,319
It was very confusing
and it would bring back

300
00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:54,400
all memories of me and Pete.

301
00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:02,239
'For people looking in,
we were this perfect couple.

302
00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:05,360
'But there were things
that weren't right as well.'

303
00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:10,400
It's all about communication
and we didn't communicate.

304
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:15,520
But we could have worked through it,
we could have done, looking back.

305
00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:20,640
You can't turn back
the clock now, it's weird.

306
00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:31,519
Katie missed Pete and
couldn't put the ghost to rest,

307
00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:37,479
and also felt the judgement
of the public much more harshly.

308
00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:40,879
And maybe was much more vulnerable
than she ever let slip,

309
00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:43,119
and I think that
showed and eventually,

310
00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:45,599
she quit rather than got voted out.

311
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:47,239
Hey!

312
00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:49,240
I couldn't do any more!

313
00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:54,159
I was over in Australia. When
she came out, they brought me in.

314
00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:55,759
Don't be upset!

315
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,679
DIRECTOR:Where was
Alex at this point?

316
00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:01,159
As far as I was aware, Alex
was at home watching from TV.

317
00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:05,359
But um, actually he was on a flight
before she even left the jungle,

318
00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:07,760
on his way over to propose to her.

319
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:14,799
I went over to Australia where
I'm A Celebrity was being filmed.

320
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:17,599
We'd flown him out,
she didn't know he was coming.

321
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:21,480
And a story had come out that I'd
gone shopping for her wedding ring.

322
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:25,120
And I was actually looking at rings!

323
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:30,479
Yeah, I was looking
at rings in Dubai.

324
00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:33,799
Cos she kept saying, "I'm up for
getting married," and everything.

325
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:36,520
But it said I was gonna
propose to her live on air.

326
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:40,919
When I come out,
I found that he'd come over,

327
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:44,200
doing stories on me,
like, how beggy is that?

328
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:49,519
Propose to me?
He can go and fuck himself!

329
00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:51,599
Like, no, thanks.

330
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:54,160
I didn't even want to see Alex.

331
00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:58,359
She came out on the
Ant and Dec interview.

332
00:19:58,360 --> 00:20:01,199
Time to welcome the woman
everyone's talking about.

333
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:04,079
Hi, and how pleased am I to be here.

334
00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:07,839
Obviously, we're all as producers
going, "Ah, he's about to turn up!"

335
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,879
We've all seen
the stories in the papers.

336
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:13,359
Well, I've done a lot of reflecting,
I don't want a relationship.

337
00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:16,999
- As of?
- I hope we can remain friends,as of I came out.- OK.

338
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:20,560
- So, you and Alex have split now?
I'm not with him, no.
- OK.

339
00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:25,359
You can always guarantee
something's gonna happen

340
00:20:25,360 --> 00:20:29,839
when Katie Price is around. Whether
it's a romance with Peter Andre

341
00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:33,680
or dumping her wannabe
fiance live on air.

342
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:39,159
ALEX:She's done a great job on me.

343
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:42,200
I was all over the place.
I mean, I loved her.

344
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,639
I was like a lap dog.

345
00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:51,120
I'd just do anything,
you know, to be with her.

346
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:59,439
We got back to the hotel,
he was in the foyer

347
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:02,679
and I wanted to die for him.

348
00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:06,519
He was begging her to take him back
and you just want to say to Alex,

349
00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:09,479
"Please don't do this, please
don't do this, don't do it."

350
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:16,079
But Kate also, also just
wants that love as well.

351
00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:19,440
And um, he was offering that.

352
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:24,519
Fucking hell!

353
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:27,519
I did spend
the night with Alex, so...

354
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:30,000
Oh, you couldn't
make it up, could you?

355
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:34,319
But I was very needy, vulnerable.

356
00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:37,840
He filled the,
the void that I was feeling.

357
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:41,479
Did we get married after that, then?

358
00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:43,360
(HELICOPTER WHIRRING)

359
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:47,319
Kate and Alex's wedding is
probably one of the most weirdest,

360
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:49,240
bizarrest days of my life.

361
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:56,759
KATIE: We got in the A-Team van
to get to the church up the road.

362
00:21:56,760 --> 00:21:58,439
Oh, it's filthy!

363
00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:01,040
'Just a sea of people, sea of paps.'

364
00:22:02,360 --> 00:22:04,839
I mean, I've never
seen anything like it.

365
00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:08,199
It was an absolute feeding
frenzy from the paparazzi.

366
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:11,720
Over my dead body are any of
these guys getting a picture!

367
00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:14,399
Hello, right, they're on their way.

368
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:17,559
She didn't sell the
wedding to any magazines.

369
00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:19,759
OK wasn't, didn't have an exclusive.

370
00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:23,560
So, the only people covering
that wedding was us, was ITV.

371
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:28,119
So from the paparazzi's
perspective, that made

372
00:22:28,120 --> 00:22:33,400
a picture of Kate in her wedding
dress unbelievably valuable.

373
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:38,199
Swear it's gonna fucking kick off!

374
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:40,799
Just cover me, cover me.

375
00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:42,799
Please, they can't have a picture.

376
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:45,839
They're up trees, they're,
you know, they were everywhere.

377
00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:48,239
(MAN YELLING)

378
00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:50,839
Katie, we've got to do it quickly.
I can't, Gary, I can't!

379
00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:53,599
It's not safe.
It's not safe, they're there!

380
00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:56,759
BEN:It was just absolute carnage
trying to break in to the van,

381
00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:58,479
trying to break in to the church.

382
00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:01,920
Gary? Gary?!
They've got it, you(BLEEP)!

383
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:06,359
When I compare it to
Pete's and my wedding,

384
00:23:06,360 --> 00:23:10,759
it was more professional
security and all of that.

385
00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:14,799
I'm not getting out!
I'm not getting, they got a picture.

386
00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:17,799
This was like, I think his
mates were security or something,

387
00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:20,359
it was just laughable, really.

388
00:23:20,360 --> 00:23:22,399
(PEOPLE CLAMOURING)

389
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:24,199
Katie, let's go.

390
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:26,079
Go, go! Straight up...

391
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:28,799
'It was just carnage
on a different level.'

392
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:31,599
Cheap, it was just cheap carnage.

393
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:34,519
(BLEEPING)
Ow, you...(BLEEP)!

394
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:37,080
Keep your head down.
(BLEEPING)

395
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:43,880
Really, they were signs,
weren't they? Don't fucking do it!

396
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:51,960
But I did like my dress
and my veil, I did like that.

397
00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:58,239
We were there, we showed up
as supportive friends,

398
00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:00,600
but kind of knowing
that it wasn't gonna last.

399
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:05,599
VICAR:We have come together
in the presence of God...

400
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:10,479
"For better, for worse." Those
marriage vows mean something to me.

401
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:12,559
With my body, I honour you.
All that I am...

402
00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:16,479
'I remember clear as day,
Kate rolling her eyes.'

403
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:19,479
And all that I have...
And all that I have...

404
00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:21,599
...I share with you.
...I share with you.

405
00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:24,159
I thought, "It's a bit off!"

406
00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:26,559
I wasn't with her for the money.

407
00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:29,760
But I'm gonna talk about
the money cos it is im... It...

408
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:33,200
There is a money aspect to it.

409
00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:37,359
We were still getting
£200,000 from ITV,

410
00:24:37,360 --> 00:24:39,719
cos they were filming the wedding.

411
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:42,159
DIRECTOR:For her reality show.
For her reality show.

412
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:46,839
But of that £200,000,
I was only getting 20%.

413
00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:48,599
So, I was getting £40,000.

414
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:51,559
She wanted me to pay
50-50 for the wedding.

415
00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:55,079
But the wedding
was costing £200,000.

416
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:58,679
That would have bankrupted me.
I'm like, "Why did I..?"

417
00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:02,840
I've gone along with this but
I've like, I kind of fooled myself.

418
00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:07,119
She doesn't really care about this.

419
00:25:07,120 --> 00:25:09,679
This is purely
a business transaction.

420
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:11,799
(APPLAUSE)
Thank you.

421
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:14,200
DIRECTOR:What was
married life like then?

422
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:17,800
(SIGHS)

423
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:22,680
It, it, it didn't, it was, it
kind of went downhill from there.

424
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:26,119
I can't wait to find out
what Katie does next.

425
00:25:26,120 --> 00:25:29,479
It is the who and only, Katie Price!
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)

426
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:33,399
Wow, oh! No, this way,
this way, this way.

427
00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:35,560
You look fabulous.
Muah!

428
00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:38,759
So, it's all good with Alex?
Very good.

429
00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:40,999
And the cross-dressing thing,
is that true?

430
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,199
Absolutely true,
I've dressed him up myself.

431
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:46,119
But can I ask, is there a bit
of leather involved and a whip?

432
00:25:46,120 --> 00:25:50,079
He's very much into all...
Every, you name it, he's into it.

433
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:52,439
I mean, he's only got
one nipple because he had

434
00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:55,159
a clamp on it during sex. Erm...

435
00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:57,920
(LAUGHTER)

436
00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:05,640
Talking about having sex with me.
Erm, and...

437
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:09,679
It's just like, whatever you do
in the privacy of your own home

438
00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:11,400
should be private.

439
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:18,399
I didn't consider myself a,
what do you call it,

440
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:20,479
a transvestite or a cross-dresser.

441
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:23,320
I think as any, any young
person has experimented...

442
00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:29,039
It wasn't a big thing, but she
was like, stirring it on purpose.

443
00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:32,359
Like, adding fuel
to the fire on purpose

444
00:26:32,360 --> 00:26:34,360
because it creates headlines.

445
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:38,399
I became a laughing stock.

446
00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:42,799
This is the thing that's really
hurt me. The jibes and the jokes.

447
00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:45,319
I'm in an alpha-male
cage fighting world.

448
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:47,160
She emasculated me.

449
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:53,799
I'm not gonna deny, when I first
met him, it was all exciting.

450
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:57,119
But I'm telling you now, as soon as
he started dressing as the woman

451
00:26:57,120 --> 00:27:00,519
and it got worse and worse,
it was the biggest ick.

452
00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:03,760
And I thought, "What the fuck, Kate?
Wake up, what are you doing?"

453
00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:10,439
It was a rebound, he didn't
bring anything to the table.

454
00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:14,040
He was like another puppy dog,
and I toyed with him, really.

455
00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:20,680
You can see what happens, really.

456
00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:26,919
She sort of gets
fed up with them, I think.

457
00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:29,719
WOMAN:Katie, on the right!
On the right!

458
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:31,880
(PEOPLE SHOUTING)

459
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:37,520
AMY:It's like a two-year cycle,
in a way.

460
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,599
As she falls out of one
relationship, she then just

461
00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:44,959
puts the next stride into a new one,

462
00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:48,440
and there's no time for
reflection or a bit of me time.

463
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:51,480
We are engaged!

464
00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:58,199
I've never known Kate to be single.

465
00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:00,760
I, I've never known
Kate to ever be on her own.

466
00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:05,199
As a person, not even without a man,
she doesn't like being in her house

467
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:07,720
on her own, she doesn't
like being anywhere on her own.

468
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:17,719
I'd rush, rebound, rebound.

469
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:21,480
"Yeah, this will work, make it work.
Marry him, do this, do that."

470
00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:25,879
I will do it so quick
without thinking,

471
00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:28,160
so I was in that
lust, honeymoon period.

472
00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:32,760
Not really thinking about what I'm
with and who the person really is.

473
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:39,200
I was just trying to find the
same thing what I had with Pete.

474
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:42,600
That connection.

475
00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:52,240
I wanted my family unit,
and be happy ever after.

476
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:03,319
Did I tell you that I got,

477
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:05,960
tried to get social services
involved with her?

478
00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:08,760
DIRECTOR:No.
Hmm.

479
00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:16,960
This is at the very beginning.

480
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:19,640
She was 16.

481
00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:24,200
It was the first
boyfriend that she had.

482
00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:28,280
She met him at the stables.

483
00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:34,680
He was older than her.

484
00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:40,360
He, he was definitely a wrong one.

485
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:52,839
She said, "I'm moving in with him."

486
00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:54,919
I couldn't stop her.

487
00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:58,799
So, I rung social services up
and I said, "Look, can you help?

488
00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:03,639
"I've tried everything to keep
my daughter away from this guy,"

489
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:06,080
and she said, "We can't
do nothing about it."

490
00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:10,240
So, she moved in with him.

491
00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:16,159
She used to ring me
every now and then,

492
00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:20,279
cos I wanted to keep things
going and open with her.

493
00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:23,000
And she says, "Mum,
he's very possessive."

494
00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:26,640
I said, "Just leave,
take your stuff and leave."

495
00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:32,239
One day, he ripped
all her clothes up,

496
00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:36,680
he ripped her boots up,
so she had no clothes to wear.

497
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:43,119
She went along to the end of the
road with just a towel round her

498
00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:45,320
and I picked her up
and she came home.

499
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:52,839
He was 25, I was 15.

500
00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:54,840
I was a kid, really.

501
00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:59,720
And I lost my virginity
on my 16th birthday to him.

502
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:08,560
He was on drugs, drank a lot,
used to drink-drive a lot, hit me.

503
00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:12,720
Pfft! Made me do things
I didn't want to do.

504
00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:18,519
Like, I used to have to look forward,
I couldn't look to the left,

505
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:20,679
to the right,
"Are you looking at that man?

506
00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:22,959
"Are you doing this, doing that?"

507
00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:26,240
I was pregnant with him, he kicked me
in the belly, lost the baby.

508
00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:35,159
Even talking about it now,
cos I've never really sat

509
00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:38,399
and spoke about it,
it actually makes sense

510
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:41,839
why I've gone for them
kind of relationships.

511
00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:44,320
Very, very, very unhealthy.

512
00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:47,759
Because that's what I've
been used to from young,

513
00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:50,000
being abused by men, young, young.

514
00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:54,160
And my first
relationship was abusive.

515
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:04,639
Subconsciously, it has affected me
and I think from then,

516
00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:09,480
all relationships I've had
with men have been wrong.

517
00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:16,960
It ends up being toxic,
jealousy, unhealthy.

518
00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:36,799
One of my friends texts me,
and was like, "Oh, your sister's

519
00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:39,639
"been on a date with this guy
called Keiron. I just wanted to

520
00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:43,839
"let you know that he's a, you know,
a knob and tell her to stay clear."

521
00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:46,879
And then literally, like, a few
weeks later, after five weeks,

522
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:49,119
they're getting married.
DIRECTOR:Five weeks?

523
00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:50,280
Yeah.

524
00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:01,159
So, originally, Keiron
was a, a stripper.

525
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:03,480
He was a stripper, and, um...

526
00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:09,680
Yeah, he, he was
a stripper and that was it.

527
00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:14,759
I, I personally wasn't instilled
with, in full confidence.

528
00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:16,600
And it's, yeah.

529
00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:20,560
Now, he proper love-bombed me.

530
00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:24,719
He would text me
constantly, constantly,

531
00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:28,280
just wouldn't leave me alone,
like obsessed, obsessed, obsessed.

532
00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:32,960
He had me on a pedestal,
as if I was the best thing.

533
00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:38,439
Very quickly, I was pregnant.

534
00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:40,480
We had two kids together.

535
00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:45,440
I bought a house with stables,
it was like my dream home.

536
00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:49,960
It just all seemed so perfect.

537
00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:54,960
I thought I had my family unit back,
like I had with Pete.

538
00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:01,520
(ENGINE REVVING)

539
00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:05,000
Keiron, he weren't what
he was cracked up to be.

540
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:09,800
He, he didn't work,
I said something ain't right.

541
00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:13,639
Keiron?
What?

542
00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:15,800
I said to her,
you should not be with him.

543
00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:20,159
SOPHIE:Dan at the time was
doing all Kate's sort of finances

544
00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:23,039
and managing Kate to, to an extent.

545
00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:27,479
And I think Keiron sort of
turned around to Kate and said,

546
00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:30,280
"Look, I'll, I'll do it for you,
I'll take it over."

547
00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:37,279
The day that I handed over
the logins, the cheque books

548
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:41,519
and everything else, I knew
that that was gonna be a corner

549
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:44,080
turned in the wrong direction.

550
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:50,999
I kind of lived and
breathed helping Kate,

551
00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:54,319
cos I know she always needs the
help. I'd worked really hard

552
00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:56,879
to make sure that she
was always in a good place

553
00:34:56,880 --> 00:34:59,719
and everything was sorted
and, and I was gutted.

554
00:34:59,720 --> 00:35:01,040
Hmm.

555
00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:07,840
I don't think they spoke
for years after that, erm...

556
00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:12,680
She just, yeah, I suppose
took Keiron over him.

557
00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:17,159
The four years in which

558
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:21,879
me and Kate didn't really
have close contact were probably

559
00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:24,919
four of the most volatile and toxic

560
00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:26,720
period in her life.

561
00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:30,959
And I found it very, very painful

562
00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:32,880
seeing what she was going through.

563
00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:39,799
I'm on the sidelines,
I'm not really in the circle,

564
00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:43,479
and I couldn't offer my help because

565
00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:46,360
our relationship
at that time was fractured.

566
00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:50,079
She hid from us then,

567
00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:53,399
and because she doesn't contact us,
we know something's wrong.

568
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:55,400
(SOFT, SOLEMN MUSIC)

569
00:35:57,720 --> 00:35:59,719
I'd sort of pushed the family away,

570
00:35:59,720 --> 00:36:02,200
like let Keiron take care of things.

571
00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:05,000
I trusted him.

572
00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:08,199
But I became
very vulnerable with Keiron

573
00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:11,799
because I thought it's a new, um...

574
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:15,479
a family unit, basically.

575
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:17,399
Can I just have a cup of tea break?

576
00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:19,600
DIRECTOR: Yeah, time for a break.
Fucking hell.

577
00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:26,040
(DIRECTOR COUGHS, CLEARS THROAT)

578
00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:32,559
Basically,
the whole six years I was with him,

579
00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:34,720
I didn't have him to myself.

580
00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:40,559
He was having multiple
relationship with other people.

581
00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:42,839
(INTRIGUING MUSIC)

582
00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:47,240
He started a relationship with
one of my best friends of 25 years.

583
00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:51,280
Then he was messaging
my other best friend.

584
00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:57,959
I wanted to hate him and hurt him,

585
00:36:57,960 --> 00:36:59,519
but then I didn't want him to go

586
00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:01,560
'cause I loved and I wanted...
I wanted him.

587
00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:04,880
He made me feel like
I was going mental.

588
00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:10,159
Every room I'd go in,
I'd think, "Has he shagged in here,

589
00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:13,519
and I know he's shagged in this one,
and I know he's done it on that."

590
00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:15,679
And then I would be
picturing him with my friend

591
00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:17,479
and it would make me
want more sex with him,

592
00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:18,799
which doesn't make sense.

593
00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:21,079
Why would I want sex with him
when he's been doing that?

594
00:37:21,080 --> 00:37:23,679
Then I'd ask him
what positions they did it in,

595
00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:25,719
and where they did it,
how they did it,

596
00:37:25,720 --> 00:37:28,040
driving myself mad.

597
00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:32,840
I thought I did everything
perfect for him.

598
00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:37,760
Everything.
It just destroyed me.

599
00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:44,279
Destroyed my self-confidence
from what I did have,

600
00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:46,479
destroyed the way I feel I look.

601
00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:48,480
(INTRIGUING, SOLEMN MUSIC)

602
00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:53,560
SURGEON: Just opening up here.

603
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:59,359
The strive to change
the way that she looks

604
00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:01,079
comes from the place

605
00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:03,599
where you want to change
the way that you feel.

606
00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:06,759
She's trying to fix the way
that she feels about herself inside.

607
00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:09,079
(CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING)

608
00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:12,239
This fundamental feeling
of not being good enough

609
00:38:12,240 --> 00:38:16,959
or not being attractive enough
or skinny enough or talented enough,

610
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:20,800
is deep down,
that's come from years of trauma.

611
00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:26,679
SOPHIE: I think she just
completely sort of lost herself.

612
00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:30,000
And then it, yeah,
it just sort of spiralled, really.

613
00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:37,440
It was not a good time for Mum
and it was not a good time for us.

614
00:38:38,720 --> 00:38:41,399
I used to hear them,
Mum and Keiron, arguing.

615
00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:43,999
Mum would be out all the time,

616
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:46,079
there was a lot
of drinking involved.

617
00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:48,799
I don't know if she was depressed,
I'm sure she was.

618
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:51,439
When he cheated on her
the first time,

619
00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:53,240
that literally broke her.

620
00:38:54,440 --> 00:38:56,479
And he did it worse.

621
00:38:56,480 --> 00:38:58,480
(DARK MUSIC)

622
00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:06,360
When they fully broke up...

623
00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:12,159
...that's-that's when she really,
really, really spiralled.

624
00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:15,039
(RAPPING)
♪ I got Patrick here in front of me

625
00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:17,799
♪ He's got a hairy chest
And a mean belly... ♪

626
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:22,719
(CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)
Kate was very good

627
00:39:22,720 --> 00:39:24,639
at not letting me in

628
00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:26,599
at the dark times.

629
00:39:26,600 --> 00:39:28,600
(KATIE PRICE RAPPING)

630
00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:33,599
She didn't want

631
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:36,119
her closest people
seeing her in that way.

632
00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:38,120
(CONTINUES RAPPING)

633
00:39:44,560 --> 00:39:47,079
We kind of lost touch at that point.

634
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:50,159
The papers are writing about you
left right and centre,

635
00:39:50,160 --> 00:39:53,599
your husband's cheating,
they're shagging your best friends.

636
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:55,919
Imagine what that does
to somebody's soul.

637
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:58,279
Imagine what that does
to somebody's spirit.

638
00:39:58,280 --> 00:40:01,079
She was just really fucking lost.

639
00:40:01,080 --> 00:40:03,119
(KATIE PRICE RAPPING)

640
00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:05,120
(POIGNANT PIANO MUSIC)

641
00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:21,559
(POIGNANT PIANO FADES)

642
00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:25,159
I remember, in the papers,
seeing the video about Kate

643
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:27,879
rapping about drugs,

644
00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:29,759
and...

645
00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:32,159
I remember seeing that,
and me and Mum

646
00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:34,239
were on the phone to each other
and I just went,

647
00:40:34,240 --> 00:40:35,999
"I don't know what to do, Mum.

648
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:38,079
I don't know where
we're gonna go from here."

649
00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:40,080
(POIGNANT MUSIC)

650
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:45,640
Kate said to me...

651
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:49,519
"I don't do it

652
00:40:49,520 --> 00:40:51,919
to get a high,

653
00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:55,720
I do it 'cause it quietens me down
and my brain down."

654
00:40:59,960 --> 00:41:02,560
KATIE: It was the only thing
that blocked everything out.

655
00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:05,519
It's like a voice,

656
00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:07,639
and you know it's there,

657
00:41:07,640 --> 00:41:10,159
and you know that if you take it,

658
00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:12,079
it will take out that pain,

659
00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:14,559
it will take out... any worry,

660
00:41:14,560 --> 00:41:16,759
it will take out the noise.

661
00:41:16,760 --> 00:41:18,760
(SOLEMN MUSIC)

662
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:26,479
That's probably
the most difficult time of my life,

663
00:41:26,480 --> 00:41:27,960
of our lives, probably.

664
00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:32,800
(SOLEMN MUSIC CONTINUES)

665
00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:36,639
I felt like I didn't know
what was going on,

666
00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:38,959
I didn't really know
what to understand,

667
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:41,759
and I couldn't talk to Mum about it

668
00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:43,839
because she was not...
She wasn't there.

669
00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:46,039
She wasn't there. Like,
she just... She wasn't there.

670
00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:48,119
- And when she was there,
she wasn't there.
- Yeah.

671
00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:51,519
And we... was kind of like

672
00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:55,119
the siblings would kind of just
look after each other quite a lot.

673
00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:57,159
I remember us just like, you know,

674
00:41:57,160 --> 00:41:58,960
me trying to figure out how to...

675
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:01,759
If this food is microwavable,

676
00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:04,679
to-to feed us for dinner
or whatever.

677
00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:07,320
Not that she didn't feed us,
but she was out all the time.

678
00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:12,199
Yeah, she'd give me a blanket

679
00:42:12,200 --> 00:42:14,159
and she sprayed
all her perfume on it,

680
00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:16,079
and that was like, that was my...

681
00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:18,799
my attachment to Mum.

682
00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:20,559
So, I remember after school

683
00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:23,759
I used to go home and just feel
so like lonely, in a way.

684
00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:26,040
I used to just cuddle
to the blanket and just cry.

685
00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:31,679
I remember missing her so much.

686
00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:33,839
I remember this one time
in particular

687
00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:37,599
I was in her bed
waiting for her to come back

688
00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:39,120
and I woke up...

689
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:43,879
...probably three, 3:30am
to some loud noises,

690
00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:46,279
and I see her come in the room,

691
00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:49,639
and I'll never forget
the look on her face.

692
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:51,440
Um...

693
00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:56,679
She was obviously on stuff, right?

694
00:42:56,680 --> 00:43:00,559
I could see it in her eyes,
and I was...

695
00:43:00,560 --> 00:43:03,479
It scared me 'cause I've never
seen my mum look like that.

696
00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:05,839
She's there, but she's not there.

697
00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:09,479
You know, that's when things
started reoccurring

698
00:43:09,480 --> 00:43:11,239
and I started seeing
the same patterns

699
00:43:11,240 --> 00:43:14,440
and I started seeing her
fall down the same hole.

700
00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:19,960
Here we are, on our way
to the underwater restaurant.

701
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:22,999
(ENGINE ROARS)
CLEMMIE: She wants to please,

702
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:25,240
she wants to buy people things

703
00:43:26,680 --> 00:43:28,919
KATIE: We're in the
lamb chops today.

704
00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:31,639
She's got an entourage of people
that need paying,

705
00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:34,479
and then slowly but surely,

706
00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:36,759
the money starts dwindling.

707
00:43:36,760 --> 00:43:40,279
I'm gonna be selling these,
memorabilia,

708
00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:42,599
like my old underwear.

709
00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:44,879
"To Mr George, wet dreams, Jordan."

710
00:43:44,880 --> 00:43:47,039
Wahey! Get in there, sunshine.

711
00:43:47,040 --> 00:43:49,280
Wahey! Get them knickers out
for the lads.

712
00:43:52,640 --> 00:43:54,319
She offered, um, at one stage,

713
00:43:54,320 --> 00:43:56,599
you know, said,
look I'm getting my boobs done..."

714
00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:58,319
or another facelift
or whatever it was,

715
00:43:58,320 --> 00:44:00,239
you know, do you want to
cover it exclusively?

716
00:44:00,240 --> 00:44:02,240
And I just said, "No, I don't."

717
00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:06,679
So, as you can see,
I only had surgery a few hours ago,

718
00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:08,359
I'm up and walking.

719
00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:11,760
So although it looks bad, I'm OK.

720
00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:15,759
The brand is diminishing.

721
00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:18,999
Once upon a time she was getting
a 13 grand kickback.

722
00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:21,479
With paparazzi agencies,

723
00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:23,760
she's probably getting
350 quid nowadays.

724
00:44:24,480 --> 00:44:28,400
I'd be writing cheques out
for like 400 and something grand...

725
00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:33,479
...in tax back in the heyday.
It's mental.

726
00:44:33,480 --> 00:44:35,800
Quarter of a million quid
for VAT in a quarter.

727
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:39,119
(EXHALES) Frightening numbers.

728
00:44:39,120 --> 00:44:41,920
But, yeah, it kind of just went...
(TRILLS DOWNWARD)

729
00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:49,199
I just couldn't cope.

730
00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:53,280
Bankruptcy, Keiron,
cheating, lawyers.

731
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:56,479
Just ev... every single thing
you can think of

732
00:44:56,480 --> 00:44:58,840
was magnified in my head.

733
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:02,399
Police, courts, this,

734
00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:04,959
that, worry, work, duh,

735
00:45:04,960 --> 00:45:06,720
and then kids.

736
00:45:12,600 --> 00:45:14,559
When she wasn't in
the right head space,

737
00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:16,039
she really wasn't,

738
00:45:16,040 --> 00:45:18,079
and she wasn't being a mum.

739
00:45:18,080 --> 00:45:21,279
She wasn't being the mum that I knew

740
00:45:21,280 --> 00:45:23,240
from when I was
a little, little boy.

741
00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:30,759
The amount of love she gave me
was so immense that...

742
00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:32,960
that's what I miss so much.

743
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:39,519
Mum was on drugs
and she could not look after us,

744
00:45:39,520 --> 00:45:41,519
and that is the reality of it.

745
00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:42,919
She couldn't,

746
00:45:42,920 --> 00:45:46,199
and then I got fed up.

747
00:45:46,200 --> 00:45:48,479
I clocked on that this was

748
00:45:48,480 --> 00:45:51,720
a very unhealthy environment
and I needed to get out.

749
00:45:56,600 --> 00:45:58,920
PRINCESS: You left, I stayed.

750
00:45:59,680 --> 00:46:01,639
I always wanted to be there for her

751
00:46:01,640 --> 00:46:05,279
and I always wanted to show her
that she has me, she has us,

752
00:46:05,280 --> 00:46:08,639
but she didn't understand that
at the time because she was so...

753
00:46:08,640 --> 00:46:10,479
hooked up in her own problems.

754
00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:11,759
I did leave.

755
00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:15,480
I think I was about 14, 15.

756
00:46:16,720 --> 00:46:18,759
Thank God that my dad was stable,

757
00:46:18,760 --> 00:46:20,959
because that's the house
that I went to

758
00:46:20,960 --> 00:46:23,359
and gained my sanity back.

759
00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:26,759
You know, while I was wishing and
hoping that my mum would come back,

760
00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:29,479
you know, and-and
turn herself around,

761
00:46:29,480 --> 00:46:31,999
made me feel like
I wasn't good enough

762
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:34,039
because she wasn't
fixing herself for me,

763
00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:35,799
she wasn't fixing herself for us.

764
00:46:35,800 --> 00:46:37,439
Are we not good enough for you?

765
00:46:37,440 --> 00:46:39,240
What... Why... Why...

766
00:46:41,160 --> 00:46:43,160
(SIGHS) Yeah.
DIRECTOR: Yeah.

767
00:46:46,640 --> 00:46:48,840
(BREATHES DEEPLY)

768
00:46:50,560 --> 00:46:52,360
DIRECTOR: You OK?

769
00:46:59,520 --> 00:47:01,639
Sorry.

770
00:47:01,640 --> 00:47:03,399
DIRECTOR: It's a lot.

771
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:05,120
It's just more...

772
00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:08,839
...saying out loud

773
00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:10,840
what you feel, you know?

774
00:47:11,960 --> 00:47:13,960
(SOLEMN MUSIC)

775
00:47:14,960 --> 00:47:18,679
PAUL: Harvey was looked after
at his school,

776
00:47:18,680 --> 00:47:21,479
but Kate's two youngest kids
were with her.

777
00:47:21,480 --> 00:47:23,679
Peter was fighting for his kids,

778
00:47:23,680 --> 00:47:25,599
for Princess and Junior
to live with him,

779
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:28,039
and we used to say to her, you know,

780
00:47:28,040 --> 00:47:30,839
"You're gonna lose the kids
if you ain't careful."

781
00:47:30,840 --> 00:47:32,679
Do you still love me?

782
00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:35,039
Yeah.
Aw, Price.

783
00:47:35,040 --> 00:47:37,040
(SOLEMN MUSIC CONTINUES)

784
00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:44,400
When I hear...

785
00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:46,959
...what the kids...

786
00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:49,279
how they saw it, it breaks my heart.

787
00:47:49,280 --> 00:47:51,280
(SOLEMN MUSIC CONTINUES)

788
00:47:54,680 --> 00:47:56,679
But they were still always
looked after,

789
00:47:56,680 --> 00:47:58,919
I still had people around me
looking after them,

790
00:47:58,920 --> 00:48:01,039
like, helping me.

791
00:48:01,040 --> 00:48:03,839
But that's not good enough.
Kids need their mum.

792
00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:06,279
Kids need their mum's love,

793
00:48:06,280 --> 00:48:08,559
their mum's hugs.

794
00:48:08,560 --> 00:48:10,159
And I thought I was giving that,

795
00:48:10,160 --> 00:48:12,360
but obviously I wasn't.

796
00:48:15,800 --> 00:48:17,719
It must have been horrible for them,

797
00:48:17,720 --> 00:48:19,119
horrible for them,

798
00:48:19,120 --> 00:48:20,879
and I'm just sorry to them

799
00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:23,360
that I put them through that.

800
00:48:25,320 --> 00:48:29,559
I thought I was doing
the best I could with them,

801
00:48:29,560 --> 00:48:32,959
but... what could I have done?

802
00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:34,839
I-I was... I was unwell,

803
00:48:34,840 --> 00:48:37,479
I couldn't even look after myself.

804
00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:39,959
I was rock... more than rock bottom.

805
00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:42,279
I didn't want to be here,
I wanted to die.

806
00:48:42,280 --> 00:48:44,240
(SOLEMN, ETHEREAL MUSIC)

807
00:48:45,520 --> 00:48:47,159
I felt worthless,

808
00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:50,080
suicidal thoughts all the time.

809
00:48:51,560 --> 00:48:54,039
I used to drive past trees

810
00:48:54,040 --> 00:48:56,600
and think, "Oh, that would be
a good tree if I...

811
00:48:57,640 --> 00:48:59,440
...put a rope on it."

812
00:49:04,280 --> 00:49:07,279
If I know something's on her mind

813
00:49:07,280 --> 00:49:11,279
or she's not dealing
with something properly,

814
00:49:11,280 --> 00:49:14,599
it's in them times I worry
that I'm going to get a phone call.

815
00:49:14,600 --> 00:49:17,479
So I used to put the phone
under my pillow

816
00:49:17,480 --> 00:49:19,359
so I didn't miss the calls.

817
00:49:19,360 --> 00:49:21,560
(SOFT, FOREBODING MUSIC)

818
00:49:32,760 --> 00:49:36,039
DAN: She was obviously
at a very low ebb and...

819
00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:38,359
in a house, a big house,

820
00:49:38,360 --> 00:49:39,879
no kids around.

821
00:49:39,880 --> 00:49:42,479
She-She decided to...

822
00:49:42,480 --> 00:49:44,200
go out for a drive.

823
00:49:48,840 --> 00:49:50,680
AMY: I was woken up...

824
00:49:52,040 --> 00:49:54,799
...by the phone call and this guy,

825
00:49:54,800 --> 00:49:57,959
"I've got your daughter here,
she's had a car crash."

826
00:49:57,960 --> 00:50:01,399
I said, "What do you mean
she's had a car crash?"

827
00:50:01,400 --> 00:50:03,359
"She's overturned her car,

828
00:50:03,360 --> 00:50:05,239
I've got her out the car,
she's here."

829
00:50:05,240 --> 00:50:07,440
(SIREN WAILING)

830
00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:12,559
He said, "I keep saying to her,

831
00:50:12,560 --> 00:50:14,759
why do you want to commit suicide?

832
00:50:14,760 --> 00:50:17,079
What is it?
I can't be here anymore."

833
00:50:17,080 --> 00:50:19,080
(SOFT, SOLEMN MUSIC)

834
00:50:21,320 --> 00:50:23,800
And she goes,
"Sorry, Mum. I'm sorry."

835
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:26,640
And, um...

836
00:50:28,640 --> 00:50:30,920
And then the bloke says to her,

837
00:50:31,880 --> 00:50:34,080
"You've got everything to live for."

838
00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:37,840
"No, I wanted to be out of it."

839
00:50:41,360 --> 00:50:44,559
I got a call from mum,
really early,

840
00:50:44,560 --> 00:50:46,799
so went down to the hospital

841
00:50:46,800 --> 00:50:49,759
and they were like,
"Right, one person's allowed

842
00:50:49,760 --> 00:50:51,760
to go in and see her in the room."

843
00:50:53,520 --> 00:50:55,520
(CRIES SOFTLY)

844
00:50:58,520 --> 00:51:00,040
Oh, God.

845
00:51:01,280 --> 00:51:03,479
I just remember going in the room

846
00:51:03,480 --> 00:51:05,839
and she just couldn't look at me.

847
00:51:05,840 --> 00:51:07,840
(SNIFFLES)

848
00:51:09,720 --> 00:51:12,119
(SIGHS) And she put her hands
over her face,

849
00:51:12,120 --> 00:51:13,920
so I couldn't see her face.

850
00:51:16,200 --> 00:51:18,799
When you see the wreckage,
I'm amazed that she was able

851
00:51:18,800 --> 00:51:22,919
to even come out of it,
if I'm honest with you, yeah.

852
00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:25,120
(SOLEMN MUSIC SWELLS)

853
00:51:28,200 --> 00:51:30,000
(MUSIC FADES, ENDS)

854
00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:39,200
DIRECTOR: Was the car crash itself
a suicide attempt?

855
00:51:40,200 --> 00:51:42,239
She says it was.

856
00:51:42,240 --> 00:51:44,239
Yeah.

857
00:51:44,240 --> 00:51:45,559
(INHALES DEEPLY)

858
00:51:45,560 --> 00:51:48,919
It didn't work,
and I'm glad it didn't work.

859
00:51:48,920 --> 00:51:52,759
Um, 'cause then that would have
destroyed a lot of people.

860
00:51:52,760 --> 00:51:54,760
(SOMBRE MUSIC)

861
00:51:57,720 --> 00:51:59,399
She was on drugs,

862
00:51:59,400 --> 00:52:01,399
she'd been drinking,

863
00:52:01,400 --> 00:52:03,639
don't know what speed
she must have been doing

864
00:52:03,640 --> 00:52:05,959
or what happened, but she...

865
00:52:05,960 --> 00:52:07,560
Oh, it's dreadful.

866
00:52:08,960 --> 00:52:11,520
Then after that they took her
back to the police station.

867
00:52:12,880 --> 00:52:15,560
I remember when
they put me in a cell...

868
00:52:17,680 --> 00:52:19,680
...it was like peace.

869
00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:24,679
And it was on my own,
peace and quiet, no-one around me,

870
00:52:24,680 --> 00:52:26,519
so I found that quite comforting.

871
00:52:26,520 --> 00:52:28,839
It's quite sad to think that, but...

872
00:52:28,840 --> 00:52:30,880
I sort of felt safe in there.

873
00:52:32,160 --> 00:52:35,240
At that time, it's difficult
to see a way out of it.

874
00:52:37,320 --> 00:52:40,880
So all we could do
is ride it, really, with her.

875
00:52:45,880 --> 00:52:48,079
PAUL:
I thought she'd end up in prison,

876
00:52:48,080 --> 00:52:50,999
when we went to court, but, uh...

877
00:52:51,000 --> 00:52:53,000
no, she didn't.

878
00:52:57,160 --> 00:52:59,560
After the court,
we had to go straight to rehab.

879
00:53:02,160 --> 00:53:05,200
We knew we had to do something,
otherwise we'd lose her.

880
00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:10,159
I was... I was just relieved

881
00:53:10,160 --> 00:53:12,479
that she was still here,
to say the least.

882
00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:14,319
You know,

883
00:53:14,320 --> 00:53:16,920
trying to end your life and not...

884
00:53:17,760 --> 00:53:19,520
...being able to...

885
00:53:21,440 --> 00:53:25,000
...must wake you up,
and I think it did.

886
00:53:27,760 --> 00:53:30,599
All I know is going in the Priory...

887
00:53:30,600 --> 00:53:32,400
saved me.

888
00:53:33,400 --> 00:53:34,880
Yeah.

889
00:53:35,760 --> 00:53:37,239
Shit times, aye.

890
00:53:37,240 --> 00:53:39,440
(GENTLE MUSIC)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)

891
00:53:40,320 --> 00:53:42,039
They start off with your childhood,

892
00:53:42,040 --> 00:53:43,959
you know, where they say
"Sit on a chair,

893
00:53:43,960 --> 00:53:46,160
and what would you say
to your younger self?"

894
00:53:47,160 --> 00:53:48,639
When you talk about things,

895
00:53:48,640 --> 00:53:50,879
you're putting it out,

896
00:53:50,880 --> 00:53:53,719
whereas before
I'd keep everything in.

897
00:53:53,720 --> 00:53:57,040
All the things that happened to me
as a young girl...

898
00:53:58,200 --> 00:54:00,479
...my dad being absent,

899
00:54:00,480 --> 00:54:03,279
the abuse I've had from men,

900
00:54:03,280 --> 00:54:06,719
and you talk about
how the depression made you feel,

901
00:54:06,720 --> 00:54:07,919
what it made you do,

902
00:54:07,920 --> 00:54:10,120
and mine was it made me do coke.

903
00:54:15,600 --> 00:54:17,400
AMY: She went for six weeks.

904
00:54:18,680 --> 00:54:20,359
They do really well with her.

905
00:54:20,360 --> 00:54:22,560
From then she realised that...

906
00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:25,400
...we were gonna help her...

907
00:54:26,200 --> 00:54:28,120
...as much as we could.

908
00:54:29,320 --> 00:54:31,239
When she came home,

909
00:54:31,240 --> 00:54:34,679
we had to really
step up to the plate and be

910
00:54:34,680 --> 00:54:36,199
the... the cotton wool

911
00:54:36,200 --> 00:54:39,079
as a family to...

912
00:54:39,080 --> 00:54:42,680
pick up pieces and try and glue
Kate back together again.

913
00:54:43,680 --> 00:54:47,159
She kept going to the Priory
on a weekly basis

914
00:54:47,160 --> 00:54:49,999
and we've been so glad she's been

915
00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:52,319
diagnosed with ADHD,

916
00:54:52,320 --> 00:54:55,959
'cause that explains a lot
of her behaviour in the past.

917
00:54:55,960 --> 00:54:58,919
It's very hard to explain me

918
00:54:58,920 --> 00:55:00,920
and what goes on in my head.

919
00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:05,319
Like, when I look at...

920
00:55:05,320 --> 00:55:06,999
the past,

921
00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:08,840
how I react to things.

922
00:55:09,840 --> 00:55:12,279
I recognise that...

923
00:55:12,280 --> 00:55:15,679
my thought process and the way
I do things was definitely

924
00:55:15,680 --> 00:55:18,519
different to anyone else.
(CROWD CHEERING)

925
00:55:18,520 --> 00:55:20,839
The scattiness, the impulsiveness,

926
00:55:20,840 --> 00:55:22,640
the this, the that.

927
00:55:27,640 --> 00:55:30,359
She could get
swept away with things,

928
00:55:30,360 --> 00:55:33,679
but she knows how
to manage herself now.

929
00:55:33,680 --> 00:55:38,159
Which is a relief
for all of us, you know.

930
00:55:38,160 --> 00:55:40,239
DIRECTOR: Do you think
that diagnosis has helped?

931
00:55:40,240 --> 00:55:42,639
I do. I think it's helped
in the sense...

932
00:55:42,640 --> 00:55:46,319
Right, she knows
how her brain works

933
00:55:46,320 --> 00:55:48,839
and it's helped the family
in the sense of

934
00:55:48,840 --> 00:55:52,159
OK, you can sort of almost predict

935
00:55:52,160 --> 00:55:54,999
her next steps, to an extent.

936
00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:57,319
When I got my diagnosis,

937
00:55:57,320 --> 00:56:00,399
it was more just to keep
my family happy.

938
00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:02,639
DIRECTOR: Oh.(MUSIC STOPS)
It wasn't for me, I...

939
00:56:02,640 --> 00:56:05,839
I know I'm different anyway,
I know I'm...

940
00:56:05,840 --> 00:56:08,199
off the spectrum,
off the key, whatever.

941
00:56:08,200 --> 00:56:10,719
It's not hard to work that out.

942
00:56:10,720 --> 00:56:12,999
But now they know that,
that's still not enough,

943
00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:16,079
'cause now they're still like,
"Why are you like this?"

944
00:56:16,080 --> 00:56:17,719
Mum, you've been told!

945
00:56:17,720 --> 00:56:21,119
You've been told
my brain is wired different.

946
00:56:21,120 --> 00:56:23,039
That is why.

947
00:56:23,040 --> 00:56:25,040
(GENTLE MUSIC)

948
00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:30,719
JUNIOR: She helped herself

949
00:56:30,720 --> 00:56:34,279
by getting off the drugs and...

950
00:56:34,280 --> 00:56:35,879
being a mum again.

951
00:56:35,880 --> 00:56:38,119
I feel the duty to care for her.

952
00:56:38,120 --> 00:56:41,799
She's, like, such a special
gem to me, do you know what I mean?

953
00:56:41,800 --> 00:56:44,200
Because she's my mum
and I've only got one.

954
00:56:47,080 --> 00:56:50,479
I think she's massively, massively

955
00:56:50,480 --> 00:56:53,400
improved on her mental health.

956
00:56:55,160 --> 00:56:56,879
I feel the love from her again.

957
00:56:56,880 --> 00:56:59,119
Like, when I go round her house,

958
00:56:59,120 --> 00:57:01,719
I just sit there and I cuddle her
on the sofa and it's like...

959
00:57:01,720 --> 00:57:04,719
that's the bond
we've always needed to have.

960
00:57:04,720 --> 00:57:08,039
- Yeah, it feels like
I've got my mum back now.
- Yeah.

961
00:57:08,040 --> 00:57:10,599
We know that she's crazy,
and she knows that,

962
00:57:10,600 --> 00:57:13,679
but we love her for it.
(CHUCKLES)

963
00:57:13,680 --> 00:57:15,360
And we'll always be there for her.

964
00:57:17,640 --> 00:57:21,039
KATIE: They supported me,
helped me through it,

965
00:57:21,040 --> 00:57:23,040
they never gave up on me.

966
00:57:24,160 --> 00:57:26,199
Daniel helped,

967
00:57:26,200 --> 00:57:27,759
started taking over,

968
00:57:27,760 --> 00:57:30,239
looking at her finances.

969
00:57:30,240 --> 00:57:32,319
Sophie... (CLEARS THROAT)

970
00:57:32,320 --> 00:57:34,439
...was in contact with her every day,

971
00:57:34,440 --> 00:57:37,240
keeping an eye on her,
visiting her.

972
00:57:38,440 --> 00:57:40,879
DIRECTOR: And Sophie
manages her now, is that right?

973
00:57:40,880 --> 00:57:42,639
Yeah.

974
00:57:42,640 --> 00:57:45,079
(EXHALES) I don't know how.

975
00:57:45,080 --> 00:57:48,679
Right, we don't call it,
we don't say we manage her,

976
00:57:48,680 --> 00:57:51,079
because I think that gives her
a little trigger,

977
00:57:51,080 --> 00:57:53,639
so we just "support her"

978
00:57:53,640 --> 00:57:56,479
with day to day work.

979
00:57:56,480 --> 00:57:58,959
If she needs a bit of advice
we give it to her.

980
00:57:58,960 --> 00:58:02,399
DIRECTOR: But it is kind of...
But it is kind of managing, yeah.

981
00:58:02,400 --> 00:58:03,519
Like that?

982
00:58:03,520 --> 00:58:05,239
(UPLIFTING MUSIC)

983
00:58:05,240 --> 00:58:07,319
Sophie got her back working,

984
00:58:07,320 --> 00:58:08,959
got her back on her good feet.

985
00:58:08,960 --> 00:58:11,519
- Are we ready?
- Yeah.- Cool.

986
00:58:11,520 --> 00:58:14,039
I love being in front
of the camera even nowadays.

987
00:58:14,040 --> 00:58:15,959
I get in my little positions,

988
00:58:15,960 --> 00:58:18,079
all like this, oh!

989
00:58:18,080 --> 00:58:20,519
And then I'm sort of
all like this with my hair

990
00:58:20,520 --> 00:58:22,559
and then I give it all that.
(CAMERA CLICKS)

991
00:58:22,560 --> 00:58:24,720
That's nice. Oh, that's nice.

992
00:58:25,960 --> 00:58:28,119
I just love it. It's me.

993
00:58:28,120 --> 00:58:31,120
I will keep going
and doing them poses until...

994
00:58:32,120 --> 00:58:34,000
...the day I die.
(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)

995
00:58:34,800 --> 00:58:36,319
DAN: She's better now.

996
00:58:36,320 --> 00:58:37,879
Smile.

997
00:58:37,880 --> 00:58:41,799
And it makes all our lives
a lot easier when Kate's happier.

998
00:58:41,800 --> 00:58:44,559
I have now joined Only Fans.

999
00:58:44,560 --> 00:58:47,279
I mean, don't get me wrong,
there's been blips,

1000
00:58:47,280 --> 00:58:48,479
there's been blips.

1001
00:58:48,480 --> 00:58:51,199
REPORTER: Are you in denial, Katie?

1002
00:58:51,200 --> 00:58:52,519
She's hard work.

1003
00:58:52,520 --> 00:58:54,879
Hello, everyone.
I said, hello everyone.

1004
00:58:54,880 --> 00:58:57,439
Anything can come at you, basically.

1005
00:58:57,440 --> 00:58:59,599
It's like, "Right,
what are we dealing with today?

1006
00:58:59,600 --> 00:59:00,839
Is today gonna be a good day?"

1007
00:59:00,840 --> 00:59:03,159
I'm feeling horny.

1008
00:59:03,160 --> 00:59:04,399
(HORN HONKS)

1009
00:59:04,400 --> 00:59:09,319
I just think she makes decisions
that are so... out there

1010
00:59:09,320 --> 00:59:11,519
that in her eyes,
they're relatively normal.

1011
00:59:11,520 --> 00:59:12,879
But to me, I'm thinking,

1012
00:59:12,880 --> 00:59:15,159
"Why the fuck are you doing that?

1013
00:59:15,160 --> 00:59:18,799
Obviously everyone has
their thoughts on everything,

1014
00:59:18,800 --> 00:59:21,399
but ay the end of the day,
I am married to Lee,

1015
00:59:21,400 --> 00:59:23,119
he is my husband, and I'm just

1016
00:59:23,120 --> 00:59:24,919
really, really, really,
really worried.

1017
00:59:24,920 --> 00:59:27,159
I just hope
he hasn't been kidnapped,

1018
00:59:27,160 --> 00:59:28,959
and if he has been arrested,

1019
00:59:28,960 --> 00:59:32,199
I just want to know he's all right
and what he's been arrested for.

1020
00:59:32,200 --> 00:59:34,200
(BIRDS CHIRPING)

1021
00:59:35,360 --> 00:59:37,480
JUNIOR: Mum... Mum can't be alone.

1022
00:59:38,440 --> 00:59:40,880
Wallis. (CLICKING TONGUE)
I feel like...

1023
00:59:41,800 --> 00:59:43,520
...she's scared to be alone.

1024
00:59:46,360 --> 00:59:48,200
Yes.

1025
00:59:49,040 --> 00:59:50,600
Yes.

1026
00:59:51,400 --> 00:59:53,599
Because I feel like if she's alone

1027
00:59:53,600 --> 00:59:55,839
she doesn't have anyone to turn to,

1028
00:59:55,840 --> 00:59:58,719
apart from herself,
and she probably wants to escape

1029
00:59:58,720 --> 01:00:01,080
some thoughts that she has
or some feelings that she has.

1030
01:00:04,480 --> 01:00:07,919
The partner fills in all the...

1031
01:00:07,920 --> 01:00:09,799
all the quietness,
all the emptiness.

1032
01:00:09,800 --> 01:00:13,279
But she keeps getting hurt

1033
01:00:13,280 --> 01:00:16,080
and broken because these partners
are no good for her.

1034
01:00:20,520 --> 01:00:23,159
And I... I wish for her

1035
01:00:23,160 --> 01:00:25,959
that she finds more comfortability

1036
01:00:25,960 --> 01:00:27,720
within herself.

1037
01:00:28,600 --> 01:00:30,759
I really, really

1038
01:00:30,760 --> 01:00:33,639
want her to start
enjoying her own company more.

1039
01:00:33,640 --> 01:00:36,680
I really, really do.
I think you've actually nailed that.

1040
01:00:41,720 --> 01:00:45,439
My family, they're just worried
'cause they're so scarred

1041
01:00:45,440 --> 01:00:47,239
by how bad I was,

1042
01:00:47,240 --> 01:00:49,199
they don't want me to spiral.

1043
01:00:49,200 --> 01:00:51,200
(UPLIFTING MUSIC)

1044
01:00:55,880 --> 01:00:59,559
They love and care for me so much,

1045
01:00:59,560 --> 01:01:01,439
but they have to remember,

1046
01:01:01,440 --> 01:01:04,520
this is the best version
I've ever been in my life.

1047
01:01:05,560 --> 01:01:07,560
(UPLIFTING MUSIC SWELLS)

1048
01:01:14,880 --> 01:01:16,400
Hmm.

1049
01:01:21,880 --> 01:01:23,440
Um...

1050
01:01:24,440 --> 01:01:27,319
In some ways... (CLEARS THROAT)

1051
01:01:27,320 --> 01:01:30,319
...God, she's still like a child,

1052
01:01:30,320 --> 01:01:33,080
but, um...

1053
01:01:35,360 --> 01:01:37,440
...she's just a good daughter.

1054
01:01:38,800 --> 01:01:40,959
But what are you having
for Christmas?

1055
01:01:40,960 --> 01:01:42,800
I want a horse.

1056
01:01:44,000 --> 01:01:47,479
I just want to tell her, "Mum,
just stop worrying about things.

1057
01:01:47,480 --> 01:01:51,199
Come on, you've got to have
one child that's not normal,

1058
01:01:51,200 --> 01:01:53,840
and that's me."
That's all I ever say to her.

1059
01:01:56,440 --> 01:01:58,999
DIRECTOR: Black sheep.
Yes!

1060
01:01:59,000 --> 01:02:03,159
This is it. I'm the not normal
child that you've got.

1061
01:02:03,160 --> 01:02:05,319
Get used to it.

1062
01:02:05,320 --> 01:02:09,919
You've had 47 years of me
being like it, stop.

1063
01:02:09,920 --> 01:02:12,079
DIRECTOR:
I love the fact that you've

1064
01:02:12,080 --> 01:02:14,039
walked the walk with her
every step of the way.

1065
01:02:14,040 --> 01:02:16,680
Even when you've
disapproved of her choices...

1066
01:02:17,880 --> 01:02:21,080
...you've stayed
by her side throughout.

1067
01:02:23,040 --> 01:02:25,239
Literally, you've been by her side.

1068
01:02:25,240 --> 01:02:28,119
That's what happens when you're
a mum though, doesn't it?

1069
01:02:28,120 --> 01:02:30,440
I don't think
it happens with everyone.

1070
01:02:31,720 --> 01:02:33,999
I bet it... I bet it would
with your mum, wouldn't it?

1071
01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:36,359
DIRECTOR: Would it?
CREW MEMBER: Maybe.

1072
01:02:36,360 --> 01:02:39,479
There you go.
And what about your mum?

1073
01:02:39,480 --> 01:02:41,999
CREW MEMBER 2: I'd hope so, yeah.

1074
01:02:42,000 --> 01:02:45,360
Mmm. I just think it's normal.

1075
01:02:47,520 --> 01:02:49,520
And what do you hope for Kate?

1076
01:02:51,400 --> 01:02:53,399
Peace.

1077
01:02:53,400 --> 01:02:54,960
Inside.

1078
01:02:56,240 --> 01:02:59,640
That she really does find someone...

1079
01:03:00,880 --> 01:03:04,440
...to love and be happy.

1080
01:03:12,760 --> 01:03:14,639
Get off!

1081
01:03:14,640 --> 01:03:16,520
♪ MEREDITH BROOKS: Bitch ♪

1082
01:03:21,960 --> 01:03:24,039
(PHONELINE TRILLING)

1083
01:03:24,040 --> 01:03:26,679
Hello?
You all right?

1084
01:03:26,680 --> 01:03:29,399
I was just...
We was talking about you.

1085
01:03:29,400 --> 01:03:31,479
Oh, yeah? Go on.

1086
01:03:31,480 --> 01:03:33,559
How much I love my mother,

1087
01:03:33,560 --> 01:03:35,199
how strong you are,

1088
01:03:35,200 --> 01:03:37,359
how supportive you are.

1089
01:03:37,360 --> 01:03:40,839
Well, if you think that much
of me and that, right,

1090
01:03:40,840 --> 01:03:43,959
you'll listen when I say to you

1091
01:03:43,960 --> 01:03:45,759
stop vaping.

1092
01:03:45,760 --> 01:03:48,719
Oh, it's the vape today! (LAUGHS)

1093
01:03:48,720 --> 01:03:51,919
Yeah. And...
Oh, yeah.

1094
01:03:51,920 --> 01:03:54,559
Your bloody lips.

1095
01:03:54,560 --> 01:03:56,799
Awful. Why?

1096
01:03:56,800 --> 01:03:58,279
Anything else?

1097
01:03:58,280 --> 01:04:00,719
♪ I'm a bitch, I'm a lover

1098
01:04:00,720 --> 01:04:03,239
♪ I'm a child, I'm a mother

1099
01:04:03,240 --> 01:04:05,719
♪ I'm a sinner, I'm a saint

1100
01:04:05,720 --> 01:04:08,159
♪ I do not feel ashamed

1101
01:04:08,160 --> 01:04:10,799
♪ I'm your Hell, I'm your dream

1102
01:04:10,800 --> 01:04:12,959
♪ I'm nothing in between

1103
01:04:12,960 --> 01:04:15,039
♪ You know you wouldn't want it

1104
01:04:15,040 --> 01:04:17,599
♪ Any other way. ♪

1105
01:04:17,600 --> 01:04:20,600
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